


The Lives and Deaths of Commander Shepard: Resurrection

by MosaicCreme



Series: The Lives and Deaths of Commander Shepard [2]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Multi, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 21:18:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 61
Words: 536,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6345733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MosaicCreme/pseuds/MosaicCreme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard finds that the changes she is making have consequences, and not all of them are favorable.<br/>(Part 2 of The Lives and Deaths of Commander Shepard series)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Garrus Vakarian by[hoxadrine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoxadrine/pseuds/hoxadrine), Post-Cerberus Commander Dawn Shepard by [BlastedKing](https://blastedking.tumblr.com/), and Thane Krios by [squiggly_squid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/squiggly_squid/pseuds/squiggly_squid). Images combined by squiggly_squid._

 

**Prologue: I Know That Now**

            “Shepard, don’t do this. Please, there’s still time we can find another way,” Garrus clung to Shepard, his forehead pressed into hers.

            “There is no other way, Garrus. We tried. This is the only guarantee,” Shepard said.

            “What if she’s wrong? What if too much has already changed and you just… stay dead?” Garrus pleaded.

            Shepard closed her eyes. She had already considered this possibility. She couldn’t bear to tell Garrus that if she did just stay dead it would be a mercy for her and for Jane. For all of the Shepards trapped inside of her.

            “If that happens, Garrus, you have to promise me that you will continue this fight without me,” Shepard said resolutely.

            “How am I going to do that, Shepard? If they won’t listen to you, they’re not going to listen to me,” he said.

            “I have faith in you, Garrus,” Shepard nudged her hand beneath his chin to get him to look at her.

            When he did, she pressed her lips to his. He dragged the kiss out for as long as he could. Shepard knew that he was afraid it would be the last they would ever share. Her heart was breaking. She was facing death and her heart was breaking for the pain it was going to cause the man she loved.

            “Listen to me, Garrus. I need you to know some things for when I’m gone,” Shepard said.

            “I’m listening, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            “I don’t know everything but I know the other times you ended up on Omega. You go vigilante. I’m not telling you not to, you do good work. You put together a team, but you piss off all of the mercs on Omega. They forced one of your men, a turian called Sidonis to turn on you; everyone on your team gets killed,” Shepard said.

            “Why are you telling me this, Shepard?” Garrus asked holding her hands in his.

            “Because… it tears you up, Garrus. When I find you again, on Omega you’re not the same. Who would be?” Shepard said.

            “I don’t want to talk about this, Shepard. You’re about to willingly send yourself to die… Spirits and you’re wasting your last moments trying to save me from future pain? What about the pain I’m in right now, Shepard? What about the pain I’m going to be in when I’m on that escape shuttle and you’re not?” Garrus said.

            “I’m sorry, Garrus,” was all she could say.

            Alarms blared throughout the Normandy.

            “It’s time,” Shepard said.

            Garrus steeled himself and let Shepard go, moving to make sure that everyone else on board made it to the escape pods. He had promised her that he would help and that he would get into one of the pods himself, no matter what. She thought he hated her just a little for asking that of him. To not spend every last second with her that he could. To not die with her.

            Shepard could feel the Normandy trying to outmaneuver the collector ship. She was having trouble keeping her footing. Many people were stumbling and falling around her. She could feel it when the first attack ripped through the ship. She made her way to the comm and slammed her hand down on the button.

            “Everyone, this is your commander speaking. Prepare for evacuation. Now!” Shepard yelled.

            Those in the CIC turned to stare at her with horror stricken faces before they rushed for the evac pods. The collectors beams seared through the Normandy again and again. The Normandy was still maneuvering, trying to get away from the ship. Shepard closed her eyes and listened to the panic around her. She picked up a fire extinguisher and made her way to the distress beacon before hitting the comm again.

            “Joker! It’s time to go. Get your ass to the evac. Do not make me come and get you,” Shepard yelled.

            Liara ran through the ship towards Shepard. Shepard was trying to force the fires back enough so that everyone had a clear path to evacuate.

            “Commander… I… yes ma’am,” Joker said.

            “Commander! Shepard is this it? Oh Goddess! Shepard is this it?” Liara said with tears already in her eyes.

            “Be strong for me, Liara. I need you. Everyone needs you,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard I… I do not know if I can do this. Oh Goddess. Shepard, please, just get into an escape shuttle. Please?” Liara plead.

            Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara and kissed her on the forehead.

            “I’m sorry, Liara. Now go!” Shepard said gently pushing the other woman away.

            Liara took a few steps backwards, stumbling she finally turned and ran for the escape shuttles. Shepard got the beacon launched and made her way towards the escape shuttles. She wanted to make sure everyone was inside. She stepped over those who had already died; there would be time to mourn them later. The galaxy depended on this. She depended on this.

            Jane was buzzing frantically in her head, but Shepard couldn’t make out a word she was saying right now. It was too loud on the ship, too much was going on. Shepard was too numb. She saw Joker moving slowly towards the escape shuttles. The shuttles were already blasting off into space. The ship groaned and shook. Joker started to stumble. Shepard raced to his side to help him.

            “No! Commander, go! Get out of here! You can’t die because of me, go!” Joker yelled at her.

            “No, Joker. This is the way it needs to be now come on,” Shepard yelled back.

            He reluctantly let her pull him to the escape shuttle. Shepard knew that he realized resisting her would only result in both of their deaths. Shepard got him inside the shuttle next to Garrus and lowered the safety bar over his head. Her eyes lifted to meet Garrus’ and pain ripped through her chest when he turned away from her. She understood though, she wasn’t just killing herself right now. She was killing him. Shepard stepped back out of the shuttle and went to the external release hatch.

            “Commander? What are you doing, come on, we have to go!” Joker yelled at her.

            He must have seen the look on her face through her breather helmet because he started to yank and pull at his safety bar. Garrus pinned his hands down. Joker turned to look at the turian with bewildered confusion.

            “What are you doing, let go, I have to get her. What is she doing?” Joker’s head spun back to look at Shepard. “What are you doing?”

            “I’m sorry, Joker. This is the way it has to be. I know that now,” Shepard said before slamming her hand down on the external shuttle release.

            Joker screamed as the door slid closed. Garrus met her gaze, his eyes looked hollow. The shuttle shot away and into space as a tear broke free and slid down Shepard’s face. Shepard stood perfectly still watching as the shuttles flew off into the distance. Everyone on the Normandy was either gone now, or dead except for her. The collectors beam ripped through the ship again, debris went flying around the ship, slamming into her. She remained standing until finally something big enough swept her off of her feet. The Normandy broke in two and Shepard went floating off into space.

            The survival instinct was too strong to resist. When the air began leaking out of her suit, Shepard couldn’t help the panic that rose up inside of her. She couldn’t help but to scratch and claw at the tubes connecting her helmet to her suit, trying to find the leak so she could stop it even if just for a few seconds. The buzzing in Shepard’s head reached an all-time high, adding to the throbbing caused by asphyxiation before it suddenly broke through.

            _“Dawn! Oh gods, I hate this part. I hate this part so much. Dawn I’m so sorry. It’ll be over soon. Oh gods, it’s like I can feel it myself. I – I – I feel like I can’t breathe! What’s going on why is this happening? This, oh gods, this has never happened before,”_ Jane began to panic.

            Shepard couldn’t think of a response, she was dying. She couldn’t breathe and her consciousness was slowly fading away. But she could hear Jane louder and stronger than she ever could before. She could feel Jane’s panic echoing her own. She could see Jane’s memories rush before her with an ease that never existed before. Jane was Dawn and Dawn was Jane. They were one.

            _“No, no, no, no. I can’t. Oh gods. Oh gods. I – I – I can’t breathe. Oh gods, what’s happening? How can I be dying? This doesn’t happen,”_ Jane’s yelling was the last thing Shepard was conscious of.

 

 


	2. Chapter 1: All Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, when I copied this over from FFN, I somehow managed to miss the last half of this chapter! Thanks MizDirected for pointing that out to me! It's fixed now!

**Chapter 1: All Wrong**

            Shepard could hear herself screaming in agony, her eyes fluttered open and her voice cutoff. A far away whispering filled her mind. Metal and lights were all her blurred vision could pick up on. Her eyes fluttered again. She hurt, everything hurt. She heard people talking nearby. Where were they? Why weren’t they helping her?

            “She’s doing it again,” a man’s voice said. “Should I set up the camera?”

            Wait, she knew this place. She knew this feeling. She just had to think. What was this? Where was she? Who was whispering?

            “Wait, something’s not right. She’s regaining consciousness. It’s too soon,” a woman’s voice said.

            A dark haired woman walked into Shepard’s line of sight, stopping beside her. The angle of approach told Shepard she was lying down. Her eyes strained to focus on the woman.

            “Damn it, Wilson hurry give her the sedative!” The woman said.

            Shepard’s eyes locked on to the orange and black diamond pattern on the woman’s black and white jumpsuit. Cerberus. She was with Cerberus. That was good. She was supposed to be here. Why was she supposed to be here? Her eyes met the woman’s face again.

            “Shepard, don’t try to move,” the woman said putting Shepard’s arm back down on the cold metal beneath her.

            “Miranda?” Shepard said before drifting back off into unconsciousness.

            Someone was calling Shepard’s name, dragging her out of the darkness of sleep.

            _“No, no, no. We don’t want to get up. Don’t want to, it still hurts. We feel it this time, it still hurts. Have to get up though, we have to fight. We always have to get up and fight,”_ Jane said.

            “What?” Shepard asked opening her eyes.

            Her vision was still blurred and her head was swimming.

            “Shepard, you have to hurry, there are mechs headed your way!” Miranda’s voice came over the comm.

            Shepard sat up and slid her feet over the edge of the cold metal slab. Alive. Cerberus. Miranda. Mechs. Gun in the locker there. She remembered this. Shepard stood on shaky legs, groaning at the aches she felt all over her body and started to move towards the locker.

            “Arm yourself, hurry! The locker at the other side of the room!” Miranda said.

            “I know,” Shepard croaked.

            “Well then hurry!” Miranda barked at her.

            Shepard made her way to the locker and dug out a set of N7 armor locking it into place as quickly as she could. She knew it wasn’t really hers and she didn’t want to think about how Cerberus got their hands on it. She pulled the armor on and picked up the pistol. There were no thermal clips. She stood back from the door and waited for it to blow open before heading out of the room to scoop up ammo next to a dead man wearing Cerberus colors.

            _“It still hurts, we don’t like this. Oh, it still hurts. Why did you do this to us?”_ Jane said.

            “Jane, what the hell are you talking about? What’s wrong? Pull it together,” Shepard thought.

            _“We felt it all. We died again, and we felt it all and then they brought us here and they cut us open and we felt it. Oh gods, we felt it all. They cut and the cut. They put things inside of us, Dawn, oh it still hurts,”_ Jane said.

            “Jane listen to me, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that you felt it all but right now we’re about to have mechs shooting at us, do you remember?” Shepard thought at Jane.

            _“Remember, yes, yes we remember it all. The scraping and the cutting, the drilling and the screwing,”_ Jane said.

            “Fuck,” Shepard thought.

            She tried to quiet Jane, to push her down to nothing but the buzzing noise that she had grown so use to but she couldn’t do it. Jane wouldn’t go. Shepard didn’t have time to deal with Jane; she could hear the mechs moving in as she vaulted over the low metal desk that someone had tried to use as a blockade and into a room to duck behind a crate. Wilson. She remembered that a man named Wilson was the one responsible for the attack. He was trying to kill her.

            _“Wilson’s not important. He doesn’t matter. It’s so loud in here, they won’t be quiet. Why won’t they stop?”_ Jane said.

She ducked out of cover and fired on the mechs. She could feel the remaining effects of the anesthesia wearing off. She was in pain, but damn it felt good to be alive. When the last mech fell, Shepard moved up the stairs and took the ammo that they dropped before moving on. In the next room, Shepard dove behind a low bulletproof glass wall and waited for the door to open on the other side of the room. More mechs moved in and she dropped them as fast as she could.

_“They just keep coming and coming, we’re so tired we want it to stop. It hurts so bad, we shouldn’t feel this. We shouldn’t feel any of this,”_ Jane said.

Jacob, she had to get to Jacob and help him take out the mechs he was fighting. Where was Jacob? Shepard pushed forward and through a room with an observation window. She could see a man being attacked by a heavy mech on the other side but there was nothing she could do for him. Miranda’s voice came back through on the comm urging her to hurry before she cut out. Shepard pushed forward and saw Jacob taking cover while firing on the mechs across the room from him. Shepard rand and slid into cover next to him.

            “Jacob! We’ve got to get to Miranda. She’s in trouble,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard? Damn, things must really be going to hell if Miranda has you up already,” Jacob said.

            _“He doesn’t know us, doesn’t remember us. He can’t see us, why can’t he see us?”_ Jane said.

            They worked together taking out the mechs, Jacob deferred to her immediately following her orders as she directed him to use his biotics to pull the mechs into the air and fire on them.

            “Listen, I’m sure you have a million questions and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know after we get these mechs down. Sound fair?” Jacob asked.

            “Not as many as you might think,” Shepard said more to herself than to Jacob.

            When the last mech fell, Shepard stood up and started moving towards the door.

_“Go, go, go we need to get out of this place. This place hurts so bad. They cut us open and they pumped us full of things. They left things in side of us here, we need to go it hurts,”_ Jane said.

            “Shepard?” Jacob said.

            She turned to look over her shoulder; the man had confusion written all over his face.

            “You’re Jacob Taylor, former Alliance and now you work for Cerberus. My ship crashed, I was spaced. Cerberus spent the last two years and more credits than I want to know to bring me back to life. Miranda Lawson headed the Lazarus Project, tasked with only one thing. Bring me back to life. I’m here now, and Miranda is in trouble we need to get to her. Are we good?” Shepard said.

            “Uh, yeah, I guess so. Did you, uh, find some files or something?” Jacob asked.

            “Something like that, let’s go,” Shepard said.

            _“Go, go, go. We want to go,”_ Jane said.

            “Jane, seriously. Pull it together. I need you on this,” Shepard thought.

            Wilson’s voice broke through Jacob’s omni-tool comm. Shepard clenched her jaw but said nothing while Jacob and Wilson talked about the attack and where Wilson was located. She waited for Jacob to finish talking before moving forward. They got to the service room and Shepard was already diving for cover knowing that more mechs were in the area. Jacob yelled at Wilson through his comm, telling him to find them another way out. Shepard focused on taking down the mechs.

            They moved through the area and out into the halls. Wilson screamed over the comm, saying he’d been hit. Shepard knew it was just his leg, hell he probably shot himself. She already knew that the man was the traitor and she planned on dealing with him herself. Up some stairs and through another door the found Wilson sitting behind some crates clutching his leg. Jacob went straight for Wilson to tend to his injury.

            Shepard lowered her pistol at Wilson’s head, “Step back Jacob.”

            _“Shoot him already, hurry up let’s go. We don’t want to be here,”_ Jane said.

            “What? What are you doing? Shepard, this is Wilson he’s one of ours!” Jacob said.

            Wilson tried to scurry away from her, “Jacob, help me!”

            “He’s the traitor, Jacob. He’s the reason the mechs are firing on us. He’s trying to kill me. Move back, Jacob,” Shepard said.

            Jacob stood and took a few steps back, “Shepard? Are you sure? How do you know?”

            Shepard avoided answering the questions directly, “He works for the Shadow Broker, Jacob. Take him in to custody and question him or I’m shooting him. It’s your call.”

            Wilson glared at Shepard, “She’s clearly insane, Jacob. Something must have gone wrong with the Project. Arrest her, Jacob!”

            _“Insane? We’re not insane. They’re insane. He’s insane with the cutting and the scraping. Are we insane?”_ Jane said.

            “Yes! Now shut the hell up!” Shepard snapped at Jane in her thougths.

            “What were you doing down here, Wilson?” Jacob asked.

            “I – I was trying to stop the mechs. I was trying to save us all but they shot me,” Wilson said.

            “You belong in the bio-wing, why would you have security mech clearance?” Jacob asked.

            “I was trying to save us!” Wilson insisted.

            “Where are the mechs that attacked you, Wilson? They just shoot you in the leg and walk away? That sound like the mechs we’ve been fighting so far, Jacob?” Shepard asked.

            “No. No it doesn’t. Shepard’s right, Wilson. Something isn’t right here,” Jacob walked over to the nearby first aid station and brought back some Medi-gel for Wilson.

            “Patch yourself up and get on your feet. I’m taking you to Miranda. She can figure out what’s going on here,” Jacob said.

            Wilson did as he was told, flinching when Jacob urged him forward with a pistol in the center of his back. The door opened up across from them and Shepard shot out the tanks that were blocking the path. They exploded and wiped out the mechs. Shepard ushered them forward through the halls until they were almost at the shuttles. The room filled with mech and while Shepard was focused on taking them out, Jacob took his eyes off of Wilson to help before she was overwhelmed. Wilson ran for the shuttle door and started to hack through.

            “Wouldn’t do that if I were you, Wilson!” Shepard yelled over her shoulder.

            “I’m not getting paid – Miranda!” Wilson said as the door slid open.

            Miranda stuck her gun against Wilson’s throat and pulled the trigger before moving into the room to help Shepard and Jacob finish off the mechs. When the mechs were cleared, Shepard turned and started walking towards the shuttle stepping over Wilson’s body. She heard Jacob questioning Miranda about why she shot Wilson. Miranda confirmed that Wilson was the one to sabotage the mechs.

            _“No, no, we don’t want to see her! She hurt us, she hurt us so bad!”_ Jane said.

            “Shepard, where are you going?” Miranda called after her.

            Shepard turned and gestured towards the shuttle, “I’m leaving. Isn’t that the point or did you want to stick around for something?”

            “No, of course not. Our boss will want to see you and I need to ask you some questions to be sure that your neurocognitive functions are intact,” Miranda said following her to the shuttle.

            Right. Questions. Illusive Man. Freedom’s Progress. Tali will be there. I remember. The sooner I can get through this the sooner I can get the ship and see Joker. Then I can go find Garrus. I need to find Garrus.

            “Shoot,” Shepard said.

            She climbed in the shuttle and sat down. Miranda and Jacob exchanged a look, to which Jacob shrugged. They climbed in the shuttle behind her and set the course for another Cerberus location. The shuttle took off and Miranda eyed Shepard warily.

            “Commander, how are you feeling?” Miranda asked.

            “I’m fine. Still a little sore, but I imagine that’s to be expected,” Shepard said tapping her foot impatiently.

            “Shepard, you do get that you were just brought back from the dead right? I mean, I can’t believe you’re taking this so calmly. You don’t even seem to care,” Jacob said.

            “Yeah, I’m aware but right now I just want to know what the progress is on the reaper invasion and if the Council is doing anything about it. I want to know where my friends are, if they’re where I think they’ll be or somewhere else. I want to know that they’re OK. I want – gods – I want something to eat. I’m starving,” Shepard said.

            She turned from the window to look at Miranda who had a perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched. Jane was suddenly filled with fury and she was pouring it into Shepard. She wanted to lunge forward and rip the woman’s face off. Shepard closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall.

            “Let’s see if I can speed this along for you: My name is Commander Dawn Shepard, I was the first human Spectre. I was born on Mindoir, my parents were killed by batarian slavers. I lost all of my men on Akuze when thresher maws attacked us,” Shepard paused to drive home her point. “Well, not really all of them, Toombs lived but I didn’t know that until I found him killing off the Cerberus scientists that were responsible for the attacks. They’d been running tests on him, pumping him full of thresher maw venom to see what would happen. I brought him back on the Normandy to try to help him but he slit his wrist while I was on Virmire. Guess you didn’t know about all that, huh?”

            Miranda and Jacob both stared at Shepard. She could tell that they were confused as all hell by her behavior but she just didn’t care. She knew that eventually they would come to trust her and she them, unless too much had changed but right now that trust hadn’t been established and she didn’t want to deal with this crap.

            _“No, don’t trust her she hurt us. She cut us open and put tubes and metal inside,”_ Jane said.

“Let’s see, what else. Oh, I had to leave Kaidan Alenko to die on Virmire to ensure that the mission was a success. It broke my heart. I tried like hell to keep everyone alive on that mission but it managed to go sideways regardless. Did I miss anything? Or did you want to ask about my relationship with the turian aboard my ship as well?” Shepard asked.

Miranda leaned back and crossed her legs, “Well, this is certainly not what I was expecting, Commander but it appears that your memory at least is intact. I am not yet sure about your personality.”

“I’m fine. I’m me. Just a really annoyed me who doesn’t have time for this crap. What can you tell me about the war?” Shepard asked.

Jacob leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees, “Not much, really. The Council pretty much did their best to shut down talks about the reapers. Your video is still circulating in some underground areas. Support is still being rallied but after two years and no sign of an invasion, people are starting to believe that you were wrong.”

“Damn it,” Shepard said tapping the back of her head against the metal shuttle wall.

“Is Anderson still on the Council?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah, Anderson is there with all the same folks that were there before your accident,” Jacob said.

“What about Valern, has he shown any sign of going against Tevos and Sparatus?” Shepard asked.

“If he is, he isn’t doing it publicly,” Jacob said. “Why do you ask about the salarian?”

“Before the Normandy went down, we were engaging in talks. He was taking the threat more seriously than the others – well, aside from Anderson,” Shepard said.

Miranda rummaged around in a footlocker before tossing Shepard a couple of packets of dry rations and a warm bottle of water. Shepard didn’t care, it was food. She tore them open and started eating.

“Thanks,” Shepard said.

“Just try to take it slowly, Commander. Your body may not be prepared to take in much just yet,” Miranda said.

Shepard grunted in response but tried to slow down.

“I need a secure connection. I have people I need to contact. They need to know I’m back,” Shepard said.

“We’ll see about getting you everything you need after you speak with the Illusive Man,” Jacob said.

“Jacob!” Miranda scolded.

“What? She already knew. I didn’t tell her anything. She founds your logs or something before she found me,” Jacob said.

 “I see, I suppose I should have expected that, Commander. Perhaps your personality _is_ intact,” Miranda said.

Shepard hid a wolfish grin with a swig from her water bottle. She had seen the consoles spread out through the Cerberus facility but she didn’t need to access them to know what they would tell her. She already knew and so much more thanks to Jane. By the time Shepard had finished her rations and water, they were coming up on the Cerberus facility.

Shepard hopped out of the shuttle when it landed and walked in like she owned the place. She didn’t care if it caused Miranda to get her panties in a twist. Her eyes scanned over the area, there was only one place she could go and that was through the hall and down the stairs at the far side of the room.

“The Illusive Man is waiting to speak with you,” Miranda said walking past Shepard and heading to a computer console.

Shepard made her way down the stairs and stepped inside the circle on the floor that would allow her to communicate with the Illusive Man. She waited as the holographic grid rose up into place around her. She could see into the Illusive Man’s secret base. Only it wasn’t as secret as he thought. Not to Jane. She studied the massive star through the windows at the back of the room and the console set up between them and the Illusive Man.

Shepard didn’t give him the chance to speak, “I tried to contact you. Twice.”

The Illusive Man took a long drag off of his cigarette before blowing out a thick cloud of smoke. He tapped the ashes off of in an ashtray set into the armrest of his chair. Shepard could see the blue glow of the implants he had in his eyes better than she could see him. It didn’t matter; she knew exactly what the smug bastard looked like.

“Yes, Commander Shepard, I received your vague messages requesting a meeting. You’ll forgive me if I was hesitant to respond considering the circumstances. I did respond, however. I was just too late. You are here now,” the Illusive Man said.

“I am. Two years later. Gone and wasted with the reapers on their way,” Shepard said crossing her arms.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand the nature of your complaint, Commander. Is it that I didn’t respond to your messages sooner or that I didn’t bring you back from the dead sooner?” the Illusive Man asked taking a drink from his tumbler.

“Both. Let’s cut to the chase. I needed your help in dealing with the reaper threat. I’m assuming that you recognized a need for me as well or I wouldn’t be standing here,” Shepard said.

She had considered telling him everything she already knew but she didn’t have a plausible way to explain it to him without revealing the presence of Jane. If ever there was someone not to trust with her secret, it was the man sitting in front of her. She knew what he was capable of; what Cerberus was capable of and she had no doubt that if she were to try to convince him of Jane’s existence it would only land her back on that cold metal slab while Cerberus tore her apart all over again to try to find out everything they could about Jane. No, she was going to have to be very careful what she said around him and anyone else wearing Cerberus colors that she didn’t already know and trust with her life. She might eventually win Jacob and Miranda over, but until that point, there was no telling how they would respond to Jane.

“Indeed, Commander,” he took another excruciatingly slow drag from his cigarette before continuing, “You accomplished great things in your time. You made great strides towards securing humanity’s rightful place in the galaxy and became a key figure, a symbol of the best that humanity has to offer. Humanity needs that now, Shepard. We need you at the head of this charge, even if the rest of the galaxy doesn’t realize we are at war.”

“What can you tell me about the last two years?” Shepard asked.

“Unfortunately, Commander Shepard, not a great deal has changed in your absence in regard to the reaper threat. The Council is still denying your claims despite Sovereign’s attack on the Citadel. The Alliance lost a great deal that day and their primary focus has been rebuilding their fleets and establishing the new political foothold you gave humanity with a seat on the Council,” he said before taking another drink.

“In the meanwhile, entire colonies of humans have been disappearing and no one seems to care enough about it to find out why. That is why humanity needs you, Commander Shepard. We believe that whoever is responsible for these missing colonies is working for the reapers,” said the Illusive Man as he stood to walk closer to the projection of Shepard.

“How many have gone missing?” Shepard asked.

“Hundreds of thousands from remote locations,” he said. “The reapers are targeting humanity, Commander. Perhaps because you made it clear that we are a threat.”

“What have you got on the colonies that have been targeted?” Shepard asked.

The Illusive Man took a drag off of his cigarette; the smoke he exhaled swirled up around the image of Shepard scattering the light of the fine lines of the holographic grid. She fought the urge to fan away smoke that wasn’t really there on her side of the communicator. The Illusive Man turned and walked back to his chair.

“I can have the full reports sent to you when you return from Freedom’s Progress, Commander Shepard. There’s a shuttle waiting to take you there now. Miranda and Jacob can fill you in on the details,” he said after he sat back down.

 “Before I go, your man Wilson was working for the Shadow Broker. I suggest you make sure no one else on your payroll is doing the same,” Shepard turned and walked out of the comm circle.

Shepard walked up the stairs and headed straight for the doors to the shuttle hangar, “Alright, let’s go.”

Miranda and Jacob followed after her piling into the shuttle behind her and setting the coordinates. They took turns talking informing Shepard that they were headed to Freedom’s Progress because it was the latest location of colony abductions and they hoped to be there before anyone else. They were always the last to arrive on the scene at the previous locations, and all reports indicated that nothing was found to indicate who was responsible for the abductions. Shepard nodded her head as they spoke, trying to pretend that they were providing her with valuable information. Miranda watched Shepard in a cold and calculating way; appraising Shepard’s every movement and word.

When they both grew quiet, having told Shepard everything they thought she needed to know; Shepard closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall. She schooled her features, and tried again to quiet Jane.

"Jane, please, you're making it very hard to focus. Try to pull it together. I get it, you felt terrible things and they hurt. It's got you all messed up but I need you to calm down. No one is hurting us anymore, OK?" Shepard thought.

_"_ _It's over, yes. No more cutting. Why are they being so loud?"_ Jane asked.

"They're not even talking right now Jane. Miranda and Jacob haven't said a word for like five minutes," Shepard thought.

_"_ _No, no, no the Shepards. They're all being so loud. They're burning through my thoughts,"_ Jane said.

Shepard adjusted herself on the shuttle's bench seat, "I don't know, Jane. Maybe because it hurt them, too? Or maybe just because you're so shaken up right now?"

Jacob cleared his throat and Shepard opened her eyes, "We're uh, we're almost there, Shepard."

"Thanks, Jacob," she said turning to watch the approach.

The shuttle lowered itself onto a concrete landing zone in the middle of the colony. Shepard stepped out and let her eyes roam over the area. Her training had her drawing her pistol before she advanced forward and into the prefab connected to the landing zone. As expected, the place was empty. Plates of old, uneaten food left on the table were the only sign that the owners weren't coming back anytime soon. There were no signs of a struggle; no overturned furniture or blood splatters. Shepard moved through the building and out the back door taking the stairs down to the courtyard below the landing zone.

She moved to the large door at the far side of the courtyard and slapped her hand against the switch. When it opened she had her gun up ready to fire at the mechs she expected to be stationed across from her at the next row of buildings, but they weren't there. Shepard swung her gun around as she scanned the area. Nothing. No LOKI mechs shooting at her from the porches and no FENRIS mechs charging in to harry her team.

Shepard moved slowly and cautiously forward out onto the concrete deck and towards the stairs expecting mechs to show up at any minute. None came as she moved up the stairs and into the next building. The building was as empty as the first one, bunk beds lined the walls. She left that building and crossed over to the stairs to the next. A million thoughts flooded through Shepard's mind about what she would say to Tali when she opened that door. Would the quarian be happy to see her, even after the message that Shepard had left to be delivered after her death? Would she understand? Would she be ready to help even though she never was in Jane's memories?

Shepard opened the door and the room was empty. Tali wasn't there. She stopped in her tracks and her eyes scoured the room. Her confusion must have been evident because Miranda moved to her side.

_"_ _No Tali, where's Tali? Tali is supposed to be here. Tali is always here, we always find her here. This is wrong. Wrong, all wrong,"_ Jane said. _"What did you do? You broke it!"_

"Commander Shepard? Are you feeling unwell? It might have been too soon to have you out on the field. I can call in for another team to come and finish things here. We should get you to a lab and checked out," Miranda said.

"No, I'm fine," Shepard went with the first lame excuse her mind threw at her, "I just uh, remembered something unpleasant. This place reminds me of somewhere else. I don't really want to talk about it."

"You're sure?" Miranda asked.

"Yeah, let's keep moving," Shepard said.

She moved through the back and down a set of stairs to a lower landing. The next building was as empty as all of the others. Still no sign of mechs or Tali. Something was very wrong. Shepard looked around, still expecting to see drones flying down to attack them as they made their way across the walkways to the next building but there were no drones either. Empty building after empty building, Shepard pushed her team forward. When they reached the garage door, memories of the door opening to reveal the group of quarians that had escorted Tali being slaughtered by an YMIR mech filled her mind. When she opened the door, the area was quiet.

Inactive mechs stood in neat rows, the LOKIs curled down to save space sat lined up next to the FENRIS. An YMIR stood behind them. Shepard made her way through the rest of the rooms just to be safe before heading in to the security room where she would normally find Veetor. The terrified quarian wasn't there.

_"_ _No Veetor. Did the collectors take Veetor, too? We liked Veetor. Where's Veetor?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard moved over to the security systems, "I think we might be able to find something here. It looks like there are cameras set up all over the colony."

She began digging through the footage hoping to see some sign of Tali and her men or even of Veetor but she found only footage of human colonists and then the collector's attack. Shepard sat back in the chair at the desk and watched as the collector's swarms paralyzed the colonists before the collectors came and put them in floating coffin-like pods to take them back to their ship. She froze the frame on a collector and stood up from the chair.

"My God, I think that's a collector!" Miranda said.

_"_ _The collectors. The collectors took Veetor, too. They're gonna turn him into a reaper with all the rest,"_ Jane said.

"No, Jane, I don't think that's what happened. The collector swarms only target humans before, remember?" Shepard said.

_"_ _Changing, changing everything. The collectors took Veetor. They're going to make a reaper that looks just like the quarians next. Maybe they took Tali and Prazza and the others too,"_ Jane said.

"That it is, that's our target," Shepard said trying to block Jane out.

"One of you pull that feed, I'm sure your boss will want to see it," Shepard said.

Jacob moved to do as she ordered, moving it to an OSD.

"We have what we came for, let's get out of here," Shepard said.

They way back to the shuttle was just as eerily uneventful as it was to the security room. Shepard was trying desperately not to worry over Tali not being here. She had changed a lot of things before she died, so it was easy to see that Tali might be somewhere else this time but that didn't explain why Veetor wasn't here. He was always here. Did she cause something to happen to the young quarian by changing the events of the past? There was no way Jane was right. It couldn't be the collectors.

Shepard stayed mostly quiet on the ride back to the Cerberus facility while Jacob and Miranda speculated on what the collectors could want with human colonists. The grim reality was so much worse than either of them suspected. When they got there, Shepard went straight down to talk to the Illusive Man again.

"Shepard, good work. Miranda has already forwarded me the video surveillance. It confirms my suspicions that the collectors were behind the attacks," the Illusive Man said stubbing out a cigarette in his ashtray.

"What do you know about the collectors?" Shepard asked.

"Little is known on their species, they tend to stay to themselves only periodically traveling into the Terminus Systems to exchange technology for living specimens. It isn't known what they want them for, but when their transactions are complete they leave again through the Omega 4 Relay," the Illusive Man said.

"By specimens I assume you mean living, breathing people," Shepard said.

"Let's not mince words here, Shepard. The important thing is that we now know with certainty who is behind the abductions and now we can work towards stopping them," he said.

Shepard shrugged, "What are we doing standing around talking then?"

"Very well, Commander. You'll be given dossiers on several people who have been chosen for this mission based on their specific skills and qualifications. The salarian scientist, Mordin Solus, in particular could prove useful in counteracting the collector's swarms. As more information arises, you will be notified. Be ready," the Illusive Man said.

"I've prepared a ship for you and hired a pilot, it's someone you know. I hear he's one of the best," he said tapping a button on a small holoscreen.

Shepard was already turning away from the Illusive Man to see Joker walking down the stairs. The comm's hologram closed itself as she took a hesitant step forward. Joker came to a stop in front of her. He looked cross with her; she could see the hurt in his eyes. She had sentenced herself to death right in front of him, after all.

"Joker, I –," Shepard's apology was cut off when Joker held up a hand.

"I need proof, Shepard," Joker said.

Shepard gave him a half grin, "Good. What's it going to take? You want me to recount some of our conversations in the cockpit? Tell you about how you teased me about Garrus?"

Joker crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

"Want me to tell you how I sent you to save the Citadel from Sovereign because you're the best damn pilot there is and the Alliance needed you to lead their fleets?" Shepard continued.

She saw the corner of his mouth twitch. That was a good sign.

"Do I need to tell you how horrible of a person I am for those last moments, or can I just hug you now? Please?" Shepard asked.

Joker made a big show of sighing and rolling his eyes before he pushed himself away from the wall and opened his arms.

"You with your touching. C'mere. Be gentle," Joker said.

Shepard stepped into his embrace and gave him a gentle squeeze.

"I got your video, Commander. We all did. Thought you must be crazy but then when Cerberus got in contact with me and told me they had you… I had to come. Doesn't mean I forgive you, though," Joker spoke softly next to her ear.

"I know. I'm sorry, Joker. It had to be done," Shepard said.

Joker stepped back from her but left a hand on her shoulder, reminiscent of old times when she would visit with him on the Normandy.

"Come on, come check out my new baby," Joker said.

Shepard let Joker lead her to where the new Normandy was docked, smiling as he gushed over the ship. Finally Joker looked at her expression and sighed.

"But of course you already knew, didn't you?" Joker asked.

Shepard nodded, "Probably best we don't talk about that much where Cerberus ears might be listening."

"Right, that makes sense. Sorry, Commander. So the uh…," Joker trailed off gesturing towards his head.

Shepard nodded.

"So weird. Alright, she needs a name, Commander," Joker said turning back to the ship.

"We'll call her the Normandy, if that's alright with you?" Shepard said.

"Perfect, Commander," Joker said.


	3. Chapter 2: Dead Men Can’t Fight Wars

**Chapter 2: Dead Men Can’t Fight Wars**

            Shepard had gone straight to the galaxy map and input the coordinates for the Omega station the second Jacob and Miranda left her alone. They were already on their way. With Tali’s absence on Freedom’s Progress, Shepard was afraid to open her laptop to look over the dossiers. She was terrified the name ‘Archangel’ wouldn’t be on the list. Shepard eased herself into the seat next to Joker. The co-pilot’s chair wasn’t as close to the pilot’s seat as it was on the old Normandy. She had to admit, these seats were a lot more comfortable. Joker was on to something with that one.

            Joker glanced over at Shepard. She knew he had to have a ton of questions but was keeping them to himself for the time being. She’d have to get him off the ship when they landed somewhere safe enough for him to walk around. She wasn’t going to be able to answer his questions on the Normandy.

            “EDI?” Shepard said glancing over at EDI’s access node.

            “Yes, Commander Shepard?” EDI’s blue hologram sprang to life.

            “EDI, how many bugs has Cerberus placed in the cockpit?” Shepard asked.

            “I have a block that prevents me from answering that question,” EDI said as the vertical iris turned red.

            “Of course you do, EDI. What can you tell me?” Shepard asked.

            There was a long moment of silence and Shepard turned in her seat to better look at the blue hologram.

            “EDI?” Shepard asked.

            Shepard’s omni-tool beeped; when she opened it a message flashed across the screen briefly:

            **01010100 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101**

            Shepard smiled.

            “Do you have a more specific question, Commander Shepard?” EDI asked.

            “Not right now, EDI. Thank you,” Shepard said.

            “Logging you out,  Shepard,” EDI said before the hologram disappeared.

            “What was that all about?” Joker asked.

            “We’ll talk about it later,” Shepard said.

            “Riiigght,” Joker said.

            “So, where is everybody, Joker? Were you able to keep in touch with anyone?” Shepard asked.

            “And by anyone you mean your boy toy,” Joker said glancing at her.

            “I mean everyone,” Shepard said.

            A long minute passed in silence as Joker let her question hang in the air.

            “Joker?” Shepard said the growing alarm evident in her voice.

            “Are you sure you want to talk about this right now, Commander? Maybe somewhere with at least some semblance of privacy would be better?” Joker said.

            Shepard’s heart started to pound in her chest, “No, Joker. Tell me now. What happened? Did something happen to Garrus? Tali? Tali wasn’t where I thought she’d be. What happened?”

            “Garrus and Tali are both fine last I heard,” Joker said.

            “But?” Shepard demanded.

            “There were… a few losses. One of the escape pods got hit with the beam on its way out,” Joker watched Shepard closely as he chose his next words. “I’m sorry, Commander but Liara, Ashley, and Dr. Tulina were all in that pod along with some of the crew.”

            “Oh gods. No. No this wasn’t supposed to happen,” Shepard’s voice started to rise. “You’re wrong, you have to be wrong!”

            “Commander Shepard, biometric scans indicate that your heart rate is reaching excessively high levels. I have orders to contact Operator Lawson and Dr. Chakwas in such an event,” EDI said.

            “Commander, you need to calm down,” Joker said.

            Shepard couldn’t calm down though. Not with Jane’s horror amplifying her own. She was trying to push it all down the way she had so many other times before Jane came into her life but she couldn’t seem to get a hold on her emotions enough to lock them away. She couldn’t breathe; she wasn’t getting any air. She felt like she was lost in space, dying all over again. She wanted to shoot something, hit something, tear something apart – but there was no one to blame but herself. Miranda tore through the CIC and ran into the cockpit. Dr. Chakwas wasn’t very far behind her.

            “Commander? Commander can you hear me?” Miranda was in Shepard’s face trying to get her attention.

            Jane snarled and Shepard echoed the sentiment aloud.

            Dr. Chakwas came in and with one look assessed the situation, “I wouldn’t recommend touching her right now. Joker, what happened?”

            “I – She asked about the Normandy team. I – I had to tell her,” Joker said.

            Miranda wheeled around to face Joker, “You idiot! How could you possibly think that it was a good idea to tell her that now? She’s not even supposed to be out of that bed yet for God’s sake!”

            Shepard’s hand flew out and clamped on to Miranda’s wrist; her nails longer than she usually kept them dug into the leather of her jumpsuit hard enough to make Miranda flinch, “Don’t you talk to him like that!”

            Miranda turned back to Shepard and crouched in front of her, gently prying her fingers loose,            “Commander, I understand you must be devastated. You are still in the healing process, however, and you are putting an excessive amount of stress on your heart. The implants aren’t fully integrated yet, you are risking an overload. If you can’t calm yourself down, I will have to sedate you.”

            _“No! No more sedatives. No more cutting and drilling,”_ Jane yelled inside Shepard’s head.

            “Yeah… you’ve got about four seconds before she breaks your nose,” Joker said watching as Shepard’s hand closed into a fist.

            “Miranda, if you’ll allow me? I believe that the Commander might respond best to a familiar face right now,” Dr. Chakwas said nudging the younger woman out of her way.

            Miranda stepped back to let Dr. Chakwas lean down in front of Shepard. Shepard’s eyes locked on to the doctor’s. Dr. Chakwas’ eyes were so filled with sympathy and sorrow that it made Shepard feel a little worse for a moment.

            “That’s good, yes, look at me, Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said. “Breathe with me, Commander.”

            Dr. Chakwas started taking slow deep breaths for Shepard to emulate. It took her a few seconds to latch on to the pattern and start to mimic it but before long Shepard’s breathing had returned to normal and her heart rate was dropping. Her hands were shaking and jaw stayed clenched tight. Miranda was satisfied enough to turn and leave the cockpit, but not before glaring at Joker one last time.

            “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Shepard whispered to Dr. Chakwas. “They were supposed to live. Liara… so much depended on her.”

            “I know, Commander. We all feel their loss. Dr. Tulina was a very dear friend of mine and it breaks my heart every day to know that I will never see her face again. I know that you were close to Ashley and Liara, maybe even Dr. Tulina, too,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            Shepard nodded her head in agreement, “I’m so sorry, Dr. Chakwas. For Dr. Tulina, I mean. I know you two were more than friends.”

            Dr. Chakwas winced, “Yes, Commander, we were.”

            Shepard pulled Dr. Chakwas into an embrace and squeezed her tightly. When Dr. Chakwas pulled away she ran a motherly hand down the side of Shepard’s head, smoothing down her hair. Tears glistened in the doctor’s eyes as she turned to walk away.

            Shepard sat quietly watching the stars before standing and putting a hand on Joker’s shoulder, “Screw Miranda. Thanks for being honest with me, Joker.”

            “Sure, Commander. Anytime,” Joker said.

            Shepard delayed looking at the dossiers, now even more afraid of what she might find – or not find, for that matter. Instead she made her way around the ship introducing herself to the crew. She was finding it increasingly difficult to remember that she couldn’t just address people like she had known them for years, even though all of those memories were there. It was also growing increasingly awkward for her to realize just how many people her past selves had slept with on this ship and the last.

            “Commander Shepard, I understand that you just received some unpleasant news about the loss of some of your former crew. I want you to know that I am here if you decide you want to talk about it,” Yeoman Kelly Chambers told Shepard.

            Shepard ran a hand over her face in an attempt to vanish the images of Kelly dancing provocatively dressed in a skin tight, revealing outfit.

            “I’m sorry, what was that? I guess I’m a little distracted right now,” Shepard said.

            Kelly smiled at Shepard, a smile Shepard remembered well. The woman was flirting with her. Another time, another place and Shepard would probably have led Kelly to her cabin. Right now there were more pressing concerns stomping down any thoughts of a fling with her Yeoman.

            “I was just saying that I’m here if you ever need to talk. I have a degree in psychology, it’s my secondary role here aboard the Normandy,” Kelly said.

            “Ah, well thanks, Kelly. I’ll keep that in mind,” Shepard said.

            “Kelly? So informal! I like it,” Kelly said with a grin.

            “Right, yeah. I, uh, I tend to keep things more informal with my crew during down time. I should go. It was nice meeting you, Kelly,” Shepard said backing away from the other woman.

            “The pleasure was all mine, Shepard!” Kelly called after her.

            Shepard retreated to the elevator and took it up to her cabin. She walked into the empty room and slowly eased into the desk chair. Tentatively running her hands over the closed laptop, she took a deep breath before opening the lid. The light blinked at her letting her know that she had new messages. She opened the dossiers and skimmed through the names until her eyes found ‘Archangel’. Shepard released the breath she had been holding and ran a hand through her hair.

“EDI?” Shepard called out towards the AI node in her cabin.

            The blue hologram sprung to life, “Yes, Shepard?”

            “How long until we get to Omega?” Shepard asked.

            “ETA to Omega one hour,” EDI said.

            “Thanks, EDI,” said Shepard.

            She opened her messages and ignoring the inbox she opened a new message and entered Kirrahe’s old address. She didn’t know if he was still using the same address or not, but it was worth a try. She made the message short and simple: Kirrahe, ‘shadow team’ here. I’m back in the game. Can’t explain things here. I’ve got some business to take care of on Omega. After that I’ll be headed to the Citadel. Meet me there if you can. Shepard.

            Shepard opened another message: Tali, I’m back. I’ll be on the Citadel soon. I would love to see you. This connection is not secure. Shepard.

            Another message read: Wrex. I’m alive. Unsecured connection. Message me when you get this. Shepard.

            The final message she sent said only: Garrus, she wasn’t wrong. Dawn.

            She didn’t need to warn him that it was an unsecured connection, that Cerberus was probably reading everything she wrote. He would know. She wanted to tell him that she loved him and missed him, but she couldn’t know how he felt about her after everything she’d put him through. Two years was a long time. Maybe this time he had found someone new. It would hurt, but she wouldn’t deny him that. She’d give him whatever chance at happiness she could. Even if it was without her.

            It crushed her that she wasn’t sending out another message to Ashley and Liara. How had this happened? If Liara died, was the Alliance able to recover the plans for the Crucible? How the hell had Cerberus gotten their hands on her body? Every other time Liara had gone up against the Shadow Broker’s men to get Shepard’s body and take it to Cerberus. Had Cerberus sent someone else? Miranda maybe?

            Shepard read through all of the dossiers that the Illusive Man had sent her so far. They all looked the same as far as she could remember. She went back to her inbox and opened the message from Anderson requesting that she meet him on the Citadel and explain herself to him. She’d go there right after Omega. Omega couldn’t wait. Not if Garrus was there, and definitely not while he could be in trouble. She supposed getting Mordin as soon as possible was a pretty good idea, too. It might help to have Mordin with her if Kirrahe met her on the Citadel anyway. She remembered that the two of them knew each other.

            Shepard knew that she was still being watched, even if EDI’s hologram wasn’t active. She wasn’t sure how much EDI would tell the Illusive Man considering the familiarity and hopefully trust that she had established with the AI prior to her being taken in by Cerberus. She wasn’t willing to risk it though. Instead of staring off into space to talk to Jane, Shepard opted to at least pretend to meditate. Whatever had happened when she was dying, things had changed and she could hear Jane now better than ever; she didn’t need to meditate. Unfortunately all she was hearing from Jane now was ten shades of crazy.

            Shepard went down the stairs to sit on the floor in front of her bed and closed her eyes. She took a few deep breaths for effect.

            “Alright Jane, talk to me, what’s going on?” Shepard thought.

 _“We don’t understand what’s happened,”_ Jane said.

            “What was it like before?” Shepard asked.

            _“Just quiet. Trapped inside with no one to hear us and it was just us. Not this time, this time we felt it all. We felt you die like we were dying and we felt them cut and drill and scrape and oh gods it hurt,”_ Jane said.

            “So, you’re feeling things that I’m feeling now? Like physically, not just thoughts and emotions?” Shepard asked.

            _“Feel. Yes. I haven’t felt anything in so long and then I felt death again. And pain; torture. They tortured us. They hear us screaming in agony and they just kept cutting,”_ Jane said.

            “Wait, who heard you screaming?” Shepard asked.

            _“Miranda, Wilson, the nurses. They just gave you more and more drugs, tried to quiet us. Laughed and joked. Recorded us screaming and begging them to stop,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard shifted, “Jane… you were screaming out loud, using my voice? They recorded it?”

            _“Yes, we couldn’t see them but we heard them. Recordings and logs, saved it all in files and sent them away to the Illusive Man,”_ Jane said.

            “Did you speak too? Did you say anything?” Shepard asked.

            _“We… we don’t know, it just hurt so bad. They cut us open all over, our head and our legs and our chest… they put things inside of us and screwed them in place and the pushed bones and organs aside. Cut broken ones out and put new ones in. It hurt so bad,”_ Jane said.

            “What about before Cerberus started to put me back together, what happened to you then? When I was… dead?” Shepard asked.

            _“I don’t remember. Why can’t I remember? We always remember?”_ Jane started to sound panicked again.

            “Alright, hey, it’s OK Jane. I don’t know exactly why this time was so different, but everything has been different this time, right? I mean, I can hear you and we’ve been changing all kinds of things, right?” Shepard asked.

            _“Changing… yes everything is changing. We don’t like the changes. Make them stop,”_ Jane said.

            “But Jane, you wanted things to change, remember? You said we needed to change things to stop the cycle. You still want the cycle to stop, right?” asked Shepard.

            _“We didn’t know it would be like this,”_ Jane said. _“I don’t want to feel, I just want to rest. I’m so tired.”_

            “Jane, I don’t have any way to fix what’s already happened. We have to keep moving forward. We have to stop this cycle, not just for us but for whatever it is doing to the rest of the universe. We can’t keep letting people die at the hands of the reapers,” Shepard said.

            _“Ashley and Liara. Your Dr. Tulina, they are dead this time. That was at our hands, we made a choice, we changed things and they died. It’s not making things better,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard broke her meditation ruse and rubbed her hands over her face. She took a deep breath and leaned back against the foot of her bed.

            “I know. Gods, I know,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard knew they had to be coming up on Omega soon. She stood up from the floor and stretched before heading to her own private bathroom. That was one of her favorite things about the new Normandy. Shepard relieved herself and then went to the sink to wash her hands. She didn’t look in the mirror. Jane’s memories were enough to keep her from wanting to see the glowing, angry scars all over her face. It was bad enough seeing them on the rest of her body. She found a hairbrush and ran it through her hair before pulling it back with an elastic band. It had been so long since her hair had been this long that it took her three tries to get the hair tie securely in place. She paused to look at her nails debating on whether she should cut them before she left the ship. She spent five minutes looking around for a pair of nail clippers and not finding any; she brought her nails to her teeth and began tearing the nails off the old fashioned way.

            Fully armored with guns ready, Shepard went back down to the CIC. She hovered around the cockpit watching as they docked with Omega. Miranda and Jacob showed up behind her just as the docking was finished. They headed to the airlock and stepped out onto Omega.

            Shepard kept walking past the salarian when he walked up to greet her team and stopped in front of the batarian who was behind him instead. The salarian looked crestfallen as she passed but when he saw the batarian behind him he scurried away.

            “Welcome to Omega… Shepard,” the batarian said.

            Normally, this would be where she engaged the batarian asking him how he knew who she was but she already knew and wasn’t in the mood to play games.

            “I’m not here to cause trouble for Omega, or Aria. I just need to see some people,” Shepard said.

            “Aria is cautious, especially when dead Spectres who like to blow things up show up on her door step. Get to Afterlife and speak with her. Now,” the batarian said.

            Shepard walked past the batarian without further comment. EDI’s voice came in over the comm telling them what her scans had pulled up on Mordin. The area Mordin ran his clinic was under quarantine. It looked like the collector plague on Omega hadn’t changed, at least. Shepard paused near the main entrance to Omega when EDI informed her of Archangel.

“There have been no new reports about Archangel in the last two standard weeks. The last reported location for Archangel was in the Tuhi District,” EDI said.

“Tuhi?” Shepard repeated.

“Yes,” EDI responded.

That wasn’t right. That’s not where he normally was, but could she really be surprised considering her warning? She hadn’t given him many details, but it was enough to change his course of action. What was in the Tuhi district? Shepard had been all over Omega through Jane’s memories but she never learned the district names, aside from the Kima District where she normally found Garrus.

“Is there a problem, Commander?” Miranda asked.

“I’m not familiar with the area,” Shepard said.

“I’m sure we can find someone to point us in the right direction,” Jacob said.

“Shepard, over there. I believe that is Zaeed Massani. His name was on the list of dossiers,” Miranda said.

“Yeah, I see him,” she said starting forward again.

Shepard watched as Zaeed beat on the batarian prisoner in front of him.

She cleared her throat, “Is that really necessary?”

“Please, help me,” the batarian said rolling his four eyes up to look at her from the ground.

“Who goddamn asked you?” Zaeed said over his shoulder.

She raised an eyebrow and waited for the man to turn around. When he did, recognition pulled at the scared up features of his face. She didn’t remember him recognizing her before. This was different.

“Well if it isn’t the goddamn savior of the Citadel? Back from the dead as I hear it – and working for Cerberus. This ought to be interesting,” Zaeed said.

Shepard’s eyebrow twitched, “Do you have everything you need? The Normandy is docked just outside.”

With Zaeed distracted, the batarian got up and started running towards the docks. Zaeed lifted his gun and shot him in the back.

“Damn. I was going to get my ‘bring ‘em in alive’ rates. I better turn him in, I’ll meet you back at your ship and we can discuss terms,” Zaeed said.

“Alright. We might be here for a little while. I’ve got a couple more people to find and pick up here,” Shepard said.

“I’m getting paid either way, sweetheart, take your time,” Zaeed said.

“Don’t call me sweetheart,” Shepard said crossing her arms.

Zaeed chuckled and walked away to drag the dead batarian back to whoever hired him. Shepard made her way to the entrance and went straight across to the stairs of Afterlife. The loud music could be heard outside as one of the batarians manning the door ushered her inside. The door opened up to a dark hallway with a soft red lighting. Video screens lined the walls showing flames dancing and flickering around. Jane shifted around nervously in the back of Shepard’s mind.

As she moved past, a batarian stood up from a couch to challenge Shepard, “What are you looking at?”

Shepard drew her pistol and pointed it at the man while his friends brought their rifles up to point at her and her team.

“A few more dead batarians if you don’t sit the fuck back down, I don’t have time for this,” Shepard said.

Jacob had his pistol drawn behind her and so did Miranda. Miranda was already pulling up a blue biotic glow around her. The batarian held his hands out to signal his men to lower their weapons. Shepard started walking again. She could feel their eyes following her but they didn’t make a move. Jacob and Miranda were slow to leave the confrontation, following her with glances thrown back over their shoulders.

She walked through another door and into the main part of the club. The lighting wasn’t any better in this area, but the music was much louder. She followed the floor as it curved around the dancer’s stage in the center of the room and headed for the stairs at the back. Shepard waited with a bored affect while all of Aria’s goons pointed guns at her and her team pointed guns at the goons.

“Can we move this along, I have things to do,” Shepard said.

They put their weapons away and the batarian in front of her opened his omni-tool for a scan. Shepard saw an opportunity to get an answer to a question and licked her lips.

“You’re obviously not looking for weapons. So, what bugs?” Shepard asked.

 _“Bugs? Did they bug us? Are they listening to us? Can they hear me?”_ Jane asked frantically.

“Jane, how – no, they can’t hear you,” Shepard thought.

“Among other things,” Aria replied over her shoulder.

“They’re clear,” the batarian said.

Good, so Cerberus hadn’t bugged her armor or gear. That made her life easier. The asari still hadn’t turned to actually look at Shepard. It would have ruined her aloof badass reputation to have shown interest. Aria T’Loak was kind of a badass, Shepard knew but she wasn’t quite as rough around the edges as she liked people to think. Aria finally turned to face Shepard as Shepard climbed the last few steps to stand in front of her.

Aria eyed Shepard, sizing her up. Shepard already knew exactly what Aria was capable of; she’d seen her in action at least a thousand times. The asari was definitely ferocious and ruthless when her position was threatened, and a damn powerful biotic.

“I’m looking for a couple of people here on Omega. Maybe you can help me find them?” Shepard said.

“And why would I do that?” Aria asked.

Shepard shifted her weight, her hip cocked she crossed her arms over her chest and smirked, “Pretty please?”

Aria scoffed, “Please, Shepard, if that worked on me I would have lost Omega ages ago. Still, you are amusing if nothing else and I’m bored,” Aria sat down in the middle of her couch and gestured for Shepard to have a seat. “Garka, go and get me a drink. Shepard, what will you have?”

“I’m alright, thanks,” Shepard said.

“Bring Shepard some fruity human thing,” Aria said to Garka.

The batarian that scanned Shepard left as she sat down. Miranda started to step forward to sit with Shepard and the turian who had a gun in Shepard’s face a moment ago blocked her path and shook his head. Shepard suppressed a grin as Miranda’s jaw clenched. She held up a hand towards Jacob and Miranda before they decided to do something stupid. Jacob nodded to Shepard and stood at parade rest. Miranda took a step back next to Jacob and stood with her arms crossed, glaring at the turian.

“Tell me what you want, Shepard, and if it amuses me enough I might answer,” Aria said.

“I’m looking for a man that goes by the name Archangel; Omega is his last known location. A salarian, Dr. Mordin Solus, as well,” Shepard said.

“What do you want with Archangel and Mordin?” Aria asked with a raised brow.

Garka retuned with a tray and held it down to Aria. Aria took her drink and sipped it, keeping her eyes on Shepard. Garka moved over to Shepard and bent to offer her the frozen blue drink complete with sliced fruit rimming the edges. Shepard smirked and took the drink. Garka walked a few feet away to resume his post. Aria watched Shepard expectantly until she brought the drink to her lips. It was sickeningly sweet and tasted like rainbow sherbet. Aria seemed satisfied so Shepard continued to hold the icy glass.

“I need their particular skill set for a mission,” Shepard said.

“Would this be another of your ‘the reapers are coming’ missions, Shepard?” Aria all but rolled her eyes.

 _“The reapers are coming. The reapers are already here. The reapers are always here,”_ Jane said.

“Yes,” Shepard said simply.

“I see. Well, I tell you what Shepard, I don’t give information out freely. Perhaps I’ll be more inclined to answer your questions if you agree to do me a little favor,” Aria said.

“What’s the favor?” Shepard asked.

“You know that saying you humans have? ‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?’ Well, I don’t feel shame, Shepard. I have recently been given information that tells me one of my best men is stepping outside the lines – again,” Aria said.

Shepard noticed that her guards shifted around nervously. She doubted the motion was lost on Aria.

“OK?” Shepard said.

“He’s right over there, down those stairs,” Aria said nodding her head. “I want you to go kill him.” Aria said.

“You’re serious?” Shepard gawked; she had not been expecting this.

“Quite,” Aria said.

“And if I say no?” Shepard asked.

Aria laughed, “People who tell me ‘no’ tend not to live long enough to understand their mistake.”

“I’m not a damned hit man, Aria,” Shepard said.

Aria twirled her glass around in her hand, staring at the purple liquid inside, “Aren’t you, though, Shepard? The Alliance, the Council they’ve both paid you to kill. How is this any different, really? Would you prefer credits to getting your questions answered?”

“Why me?” Shepard asked instead of rising to the bait.

“Why not you, Shepard? You’re here, you’re capable, and you want something from me in exchange,” Aria said. “He’s batarian, if that helps at all. I know you have history with batarians.”

“What did he do?” Shepard asked.

“That’s my concern not yours. Now, do we have a deal or not?” Aria raised an eyebrow.

“Fine,” Shepard said.

 _“Can’t just kill him. He’s done nothing. Can we? We’ve never killed Anto, why are we killing Anto?”_ Jane said.

She did not need Aria as an enemy, not right now. Shepard knew who she was referring to, his name was Anto. He was one of Aria’s most trusted people, Shepard had talked to him a time or two and he would normally take part in the charge to recover Omega from Cerberus later on.

“Good,” Aria said with a wicked grin.

Shepard stood up and moved past the guards who hurried out of her way. Jacob and Miranda stepped aside. Jacob looked concerned, but Miranda only seemed to be evaluating Shepard’s actions. She drew her pistol and stood at the top of the staircase. Anto turned to look at Shepard and she but a bullet between his eyes. It was a quick death, the only mercy she could afford to show the man. She holstered her weapon and went to sit back down. It was obvious that Shepard was pissed, and Aria seemed greatly amused by both displays.

“Mordin is in the quarantine area, there’s a plague down there. You should be fine, though, it apparently doesn’t affect humans. The turian, Archangel, was last seen in the Tuhi district,” Aria said.

“That’s it? I need more on Archangel, you didn’t tell me anything I couldn’t get anywhere else!” Shepard said.

Aria smirked, “Yet I did tell you where to find them. Do you have more questions, Shepard? I’m sure I could find something else for you to do around here in lieu of payment. I doubt you’d do well as a dancer with all of those scars; your pretty little friend over there maybe. I could use another guard, however, seeing as you just shot one of them.”

Shepard grit her teeth. Aria had never been this big of a pain in her ass before. What the hell had happened to sour the asari’s disposition so much? Miranda scoffed at the suggestion and turned her glare to Aria. She paid Miranda no mind.

Aria tutted, “Come on now, Shepard, don’t look at me like that. I tell you what; I’ll even have Terrel show you around so you can run your little errands.”

Shepard stood up and clenched her fist. Aria watched her with smug amusement. Shepard turned without further comment and walked down the staircase opposite of Anto’s corpse. The turian followed behind Miranda and Jacob.

“Garka, get rid of that mess,” Aria ordered.

Terrel took point once they were out of Aria’s office. Shepard let him lead her team to the quarantined slums even though she knew exactly where it was.

“She always that pleasant?” Shepard asked.

The barefaced Turian looked back at Shepard over his shoulder, “Only over the last few months or so.”

Shepard grunted in response. Jacob had a deeply furrowed brow as she silently followed along. Shepard watched him watching her out of the corner of his eye.

“Is there a problem, Jacob?” she asked.

“No, ma’am. I’m sure you did what had to be done,” Jacob said.

“Ah, you’re upset that I killed for Aria,” Shepard said.

“Aria put Shepard in a tight position, Jacob. This is Omega; it’s the way things work here. If Shepard had refused, we would be fighting our way off of this station. We can’t afford such distractions right now,” Miranda said.

“Yeah. Maybe you’re right,” said Jacob.

“Of course I’m right,” Miranda said and the subject was dropped.

Terrel stopped in front of the turian guarding the quarantine zone and told him Aria was sending Shepard in. The other turian nodded in understanding before he resumed an argument he was having with a human woman who wanted access to her home in the quarantine zone.

“I’ll wait here for you, I’m not immune and Aria didn’t say I had to follow you in,” Terrel said.

Shepard nodded and left Terrel to enter the quarantine zone. They fought their way through Blue Suns and Blood Pack mercs. Shepard was not keen on the idea of dealing with charging krogan without a krogan of her own to throw into the fray, and the vorcha were far too fond of rocket launchers and flame throwers for her taste. Still, the fights were matching up to Jane’s memories so, so far so good. The Cerberus upgrades she had been given where helping to keep her on her feet. She found the biotic Reave to be incredibly useful.

Shepard ignored the doors that she knew would lead to corpses, victims of the plague and pressed forward. When she stopped to talk to a sick batarian, Miranda crossed her arms and smirked.

“Feeling guilty, Commander?” Miranda asked.

“What, because he’s batarian I can’t stop to help him without it having to do with my earlier actions? How very Cerberus of you, Miranda,” Shepard threw back over her shoulder.

The sick batarian tried weakly to shove Shepard away, ranting about humans being the cause of the plague. Jacob knelt down beside Shepard to help subdue the delirious batarian.

“Listen, I’m trying to help,” Shepard said. “I know this won’t fix the plague but it’ll help ease your pain and take the fever down.”

 _“Trying to help and it’s all going wrong,”_ Jane said.

The batarian finally gave up on fighting and Shepard dosed him with Medi-gel. When he was a little more clear-headed she helped him to his feet. He thanked her and told her where to find Mordin’s clinic when Miranda asked. Shepard promised to send someone to help him when she got to the doctor. She remembered that a couple had locked themselves in their home nearby, but didn’t stop to help them this time. If she hurried, the cure would be disseminated throughout Omega and things would settle down. They’d be safe enough where they were for now. She hoped. Another apartment would have looters, she was being selfish, she knew but she wanted to get Mordin and find Garrus. She only stopped to help the batarian because without intervention he might not make it that long.

She followed the halls along until she found the staircase that led down to Mordin’s clinic. When she caught sight of the first people in the clinic, they put their guns away. Shepard wove through the crowd of sick people and entered the back of the clinic. She could hear Mordin talking to an assistant before she could see him. The sound of the salarian’s voice brought a smile to her lips. It was one thing to hear his rapid fire speech through Jane’s memories but another to hear it for herself.

Shepard rounded a corner and walked up to the salarian working on a turian patient. She glanced at his human female assistant before speaking.

“Mordin?” Shepard said.

The older salarian examined Shepard with shrewd eyes before opening his omni-tool and pressing a few buttons.

“My name is Commander Shepard. Many of you might recognize me as the first human Spectre. I’m recording this video today in the hopes that my message won’t fall on deaf ears. As we stand today, the galaxy is facing an approaching threat that we are not yet ready to defend against…,” Shepard recognized her own voice before Mordin stopped the recording.

“Ah. Yes. Thought that was you. Not dead, I see,” Mordin said as he ran his omni-tool in front of Shepard. “Cybernetic implants. Experimental technology. Fascinating.”

“Sent by the Council? No, Spectre not needed for simple task. Alliance? No, Alliance unlikely to know where to find me. Companions wear Cerberus insignia. Could it be?” Mordin continued.

Shepard held up a hand to stop him, “Wait, were you expecting someone to come for you?”

“Seemed like plausible course of action. Collectors abducting human colonies. Since your video, have stayed apprised of developing situation. Plausibility someone would come eventually. Have many skills, much knowledge to aid in fight,” Mordin paused to take in a deep breath through his nose. “Did not expect it to be you.”

“So, if you know about the collectors and the abductions and thought you could help, why didn’t you go to the Council or something?” Shepard asked.

“Sent message. Received automated response. Will likely take months before proper response. Work here very important. Couldn’t just leave. Believe plague also caused by collectors. Needed to make cure,” Mordin said.

“Is your cure ready? We could really use your help,” Jacob said.

“Yes. Must be distributed through environmental control center. Vorcha –,” Mordin was cut off by Shepard.

“We’ll take care of it. Will you join us?” Shepard asked.

“Interesting, Cerberus seeking salarian aid. Ultimate threat not to humans alone. Will join you, stop collectors,” Mordin said. “Cure plague first.”

The lights in the clinic went dark and the sound of a generator powering down echoed through the now still ventilation system. Mordin looked up and around before opening his omni-tool.

“What the hell was that?” Jacob asked.

“Environmental systems,” Shepard responded without thought. “Give us the cure, Mordin. We’ll get things turned back on and the cure dispersed.”

“Correct. Will meet heavy vorcha resistance. Will need to kill them,” Mordin checked the thermal clip before handing her a gun and the cure.

Shepard paused expecting Mordin to ask her to also look for his assistant, Daniel, but he didn’t say anything else. He didn’t even explain that the M-6 Carnifex Hand Cannon was his sign of good faith or that he had taken it from the Blue Suns like he usually did. Mordin turned away and resumed working on the turian patient.

 _“No Daniel? Why is there no Daniel? There’s always a Daniel,”_ Jane said.

“Alright, let’s get going,” Shepard said turning towards the door, “Oh, there’s a sick batarian not far from the clinic. I gave him some Medi-gel but he could use some help getting back to the clinic.”

“Will send assistant,” Mordin said.

Shepard left the clinic through the side entrance and made her way to the environmental control center. They encountered Blood Pack vorcha and krogan almost immediately. Varren harried them, biting into their armored legs and arms when they got the chance. Shepard’s Shockwave was handy at keeping the charging krogan and varren at bay. She was really starting to hate the vorcha pyromancers with their flame throwers and started to take great delight in shooting out their gas tanks to watch them explode.

Along the way she stopped to check the room where Jane always found Daniel, Mordin’s missing assistant, before. The room was completely empty. She ignored the odd looks from Jacob and Miranda as she crossed through the next door and ducked behind the half-wall to fire on the vorcha across the way. They pushed forward down a flight of stairs and out onto a balcony. Vorcha with rocket launchers fired at them from the balcony across the way while others took shots from the ground below.

They fought through more Blood Pack as they followed the signs to the environmental control room. When they entered the room, Shepard shot the first vorcha in the head before it could start talking. She already knew what they were doing and why, she didn’t have time to waste with the vorcha’s mad ravings about how the collectors were going to make the vorcha stronger. Miranda and Jacob were using their biotics to Warp and Pull the vorcha furthest from Shepard. She ducked into cover and open fired.

Shepard was already heading towards the alcove at the back of the room when EDI’s voice came over the comm to tell her that the central control system was located back there. She dropped the cure into the machine and turned to shoot the Blood Pack that were creeping in behind them.  They had to fight their way through them to get to the fan controls located on either side of the main room. As soon as she got the first one turned back on, more Blood Pack flooded the area. Rockets shot down from the balconies towards her team. She wanted to find whoever it was that thought it was a good idea to give vorcha rocket launchers and shoot them in the face.

Finally they got the last fan going and the cure began filtering through the ventilation system. They guarded the central control system until the cure dispersal chamber was completely emptied before making their way back towards Mordin’s clinic. Shepard didn’t remember having to fight through so much resistance on the return trip before, but she did this time. In fact, she couldn’t recall ever having to face so many of the Blood Pack on this mission.

Maybe it meant that they weren’t split between here and taking down Archangel. Garrus wasn’t where he normally was on Omega, maybe he wasn’t in as much trouble either. She hoped that none survived to shut down the system again, even with the cure, without the ventilation running everyone would die. Shepard walked back into the clinic and found Mordin waiting for her with a knapsack slung over his shoulder.

“Shepard. Excellent work. Cure seems to be working. Many people already recovered. Assistant will take over clinic. Am ready to leave,” Mordin said.

“I’ve got someone else that I have to find on Omega before I’m ready to head out, if you want you can wait for us on the Normandy or you can come with us,” Shepard said.

“Will come with you. Might be able to assist,” Mordin said.

“Excellent. One of Aria’s men is waiting outside of the quarantine zone. He’s been tasked to take us to the Tuhi District,” Shepard said.

“Can send him away. Can take you there,” Mordin said.

“Works for me,” she said.

They made their way back through the quarantine area and Shepard was happy to see that the coast was clear. They stepped out next to a few apartments and as Shepard glanced at one of them she wondered if Morinth, the Ardat-Yakshi was already hunting on Omega.

“Terrel, you can go back to Aria. Mordin can show us the way to the Tuhi District,” Shepard said to the turian.

“I don’t know, Aria told me to take you around,” Terrel said hesitantly.

“You can always tell her I threatened to shoot you, if it helps,” Shepard said.

Terrel chuckled and it made her heart ache to hear Garrus’ laugh again. He nodded and left the four of them to make their own way. Mordin lead them through the winding levels of Omega until they arrived at an area Shepard recognized. Jane had helped Aria fight off Cerberus in this area, as well as several others across Omega. It was a business district catering to everything from curio shops to scrap yards.

 _“Garrus isn’t here. Why would he be here? He’s never here, this is the wrong place,”_ Jane said.

This was as far as her leads took her, so Shepard did the only thing she could. She watched, she listened, and she asked questions. Three hours and thirteen doors slammed in her face later, Shepard was at a loss. She was seconds away from pulling out her gun and demanding answers when an empty building caught her eye. It was three stories tall, non-descript and like many of the places in this area it looked run down and empty. She studied it with a tactical eye, noting its defensible location. Unlike many of the buildings in the area, it wasn’t connected in any way to neighboring buildings, tall fences surrounded it, and there were no windows on the lower level but plenty of partially boarded up windows on the upper two floors. Perfect for a sniper. It was worth a shot.

“Something is happening. Street clearing. Businesses closing doors. Mercs coming? Gang? Suggest arming yourself,” Mordin said drawing his pistol.

Shepard took her eyes off the building to look around and realized that Mordin was right. She drew the M-6 Mordin gave her earlier and loaded her incendiary ammo. She turned 360 watching the area. There were no good places of cover that didn’t trap her in a building, and far too many dark alleys. Shepard gestured with her hand, pushing her team back against a wall of another empty building. Its windows had long since been shattered and if they needed too, they could climb through for a more defensible position. It would be a last resort, she didn’t know if there was anyone in there, what kind of condition the interior was in, or even if there would be other exits if they needed to bolt.

“Ah. Must be Talons’ territory,” Mordin said as the first turian with red and white face paint stalked out of the shadows.

Shepard had her gun up as others soon followed him, pouring out of alleys and jumping down from low roof tops. They were surrounded by the armed gang members in seconds. None of their guns were pointed at her yet, so she watched and waited with her pistol raised. Shepard knew of the Talons through Jane’s memories, but she had never dealt with them before they were under Nyreen’s thumb. She recalled that prior to Nyreen taking control, the Talons were nothing more than highly organized street thugs.

A turian broke away from the others and walked casually towards Shepard stopping ten feet away. Shepard watched him but stayed silent. Around her, her team faced different directions with their weapons drawn waiting for any sign of attack. She did a quick scan and counted roughly twenty turians watching her.

“Derius wants to see you,” the turian said.

Shepard licked her lips, “Who’s Derius and why would I want to see him?”

“Oh, don’t worry little lady, Derius just wants to talk,” he said.

“Who said I’m worried? What does Derius want to talk about and why doesn’t he come talk to me himself?” Shepard asked.

 _“Who is Derius? We don’t know a Derius. This is bad, we shouldn’t be here. Why are we here?”_ Jane rattled in Shepard’s mind.

“Word is that you just took out a whole lot of the Blood Pack and some Blue Suns down in the slums of the Gozu District. Word is you helped cure the plague. Now you’re down hear asking a lot of questions, making a lot of people uncomfortable. Maybe Derius has some answers for you,” the turian said.

“Uh huh, and where is this Derius?” Shepard asked.

“Commander, you cannot seriously be considering this! We do not need Archangel this badly. Let’s go, we can find someone else,” Miranda said.

“Oh now, see I can’t let you just go. Derius wants to talk to you, that would be awfully rude of you to just leave without at least saying hello to him,” the turian said.

“Would recommend _not_ going with Talons,” Mordin said.

“I’m with the doctor on this one,” Jacob said.

Shepard shrugged, “Sorry, mister. My friends here don’t want to meet your Derius.”

 _“No, don’t want to meet Derius. We want to go, let’s go,”_ Jane said.

“Well, see that’s going to be a problem,” the turian raised his shotgun and pointed it at Shepard. “You see Derius –,” the turian stopped talking when his head jerked to the side and a spray of blue blood painted the air before raining down on the street.

A heartbeat later Shepard heard the report of a gunshot. Chaos erupted around her as some of the Talons started searching for the source of the shot while others open fired on her and her team. Miranda threw up a biotic shield while Shepard bashed out the remaining shards of glass in the window next to them. She sent Jacob through the window to secure the location. A second later he reappeared and motioned everyone else in. Miranda was weakening so as soon as Mordin was through Shepard ordered Miranda to follow. Shepard took a few hits before she flung out a Shockwave, toppling several turians in its wake. She turned and dove through the window, tucking herself in to roll across the broken glass and scattered debris on the building’s floor. Jacob and Mordin were firing out of the window and Miranda was rushing to Shepard’s side.

Shepard’s shields were already raising and she could feel her cybernetic implants working to patch up the hole in her thigh. She pulled herself to a crouching position and waved Miranda off before taking up station beneath the window sill. She peeked over the edge and saw another turian’s head take a bullet. She used her Reave to help boost the healing of the cybernetics while simultaneously sucking the life out of another turian. Mordin moved to the next window to support Miranda and Shepard stood to take his place putting her back to the metal reinforced wall and glanced out the window. More Talons were moving in on her location from the surrounding alleys.

A couple of them were smart enough to climb in through a back window and tried to creep up on Shepard and her team. Shepard was prepared for that possibility, and saw them when they entered the room. She used a biotic Charge to boost herself before running forward to slam into the closest turian. He was knocked back and she started firing. The second turian turned his gun on her and she slammed her elbow into his face. A second later he was writhing on the ground caught up in a Warp thrown by Miranda. Shepard turned back to the first turian who was pulling himself back to his feet and put a final bullet in his head. She heard Miranda’s gun bark twice and the turian she hit in the face was down for good.

She heard panicked screams from several turians outside when Mordin used his Incinerate tech to light a group of them on fire. Shepard motioned to Miranda, using hand signals to direct her to the back rooms. The two women crept through the rooms together, shooting turians in the middle of climbing through windows. She heard feet pounding on the floor above and searched out the staircase while switching to her shotgun. She motioned Miranda to stay at the foot of the stairs while she crept up them slowly her eyes up, darting from side to side. The first turian stepped into view and she blasted him on his ass with a shot to the midsection.

Another peaked around the corner and Shepard nearly took his face off with the next shot but he was too quick. His hand reached around the corner and he fired off several shots haphazardly hoping to hit his target. Shepard used her Charge to fly up the stairs and past him before spinning around with her shotgun up. His eyes were wide with shock as she pulled the trigger; the blast tore a hole through his chest. She waved Miranda up and together they cleared the top floor.

She could still hear gunfire coming from downstairs and out on the streets. Shepard tapped her comm and told Jacob to keep his eyes on potential targets coming from the back; Miranda and she were staying upstairs. They moved to the window and Shepard used the butt of her shotgun to break out the glass before switching back to her pistol. Most of the surviving talons had withdrawn to positions that didn’t leave them out in the open. Still, any time one of them was stupid enough to poke their head out of cover a sniper bullet tore through their skulls.

Shepard and Miranda rained bullets and biotics down on the turians from their vantage point until the return fire lessened and she could see the survivors retreating. She waited a couple of minutes to make sure that it wasn’t a ruse before heading back down to the first floor.

“We had sniper aid, ma’am. The dossier on Archangel said he was a sniper. You think it could be him” Jacob asked when Shepard appeared next to him.

“If we’re lucky. Any movement out there?” Shepard asked.

“I don’t see anything, I think the rest have retreated,” he said.

Shepard grunted and motioned towards the door. It was stuck and Jacob had to help her pry it open. She peered through the cracked door looking for any signs of movement before moving out with her pistol up. Her eyes scanned over the area, from every rooftop to every dark alley before they landed on the most beautiful sight. Several blocks away a helmeted turian in blue armor with a sniper rifle dangling from his hand strolled purposefully down the street towards her. She did a quick count and saw fifteen men and women of various species spread out behind him.

 _“Garrus is here? His people aren’t dead? Isn’t his team supposed to die, betrayed by Sidonis? We help him kill Sidonis. We don’t understand,”_ Jane said.

Her team moved out of the building and to her side, their weapons raised. Miranda was pulling biotic energy around herself. Archangel’s team raised their guns at the show of hostile intent but Archangel flicked a finger and they lowered them again. Shepard held a hand up, signaling her team to lower their weapons. She didn’t know when her feet started moving but she was walking towards the new group, first slowly and hesitantly and then with more confidence. Thirty feet away and Archangel slung his sniper rifle over his shoulder, holstering it on his back. Twenty feet away and he was reaching up to take off his helmet. Fifteen feet away Shepard saw the only face she wanted to see more than any other in the world and she couldn’t stop her legs from running, even with the pain that shot through her still healing thigh.

            Shepard flung herself onto Garrus and it was like hitting a brick wall. He did not welcome her with open arms; his body did not curl around hers. She felt his hands lock on her waist before he lifted her off of him and set her feet back on the ground. She staggered back, her eyes filled with pain and confusion as they sought his out only to find that they were empty, cold, devoid of any sign of affection.

            “Garrus… I – I’m sorry,” Shepard stammered.

            He chose to ignore her hurt and her weak apology. Instead he looked past her to the rest of her team who were making their way over. Shepard saw a female turian standing just a little behind and to the right of Garrus; she had a look of smug satisfaction on her face.

            “I thought you guys could use a little help,” Garrus said to Shepard’s crew, his eyes barely flickering over her.

            Shepard took a few steps back to stand in front of her team and locked her emotions away the best she could. She made herself stand at parade rest and slapped on her Commander face. She got it, she hurt him bad but she was damned if she was going to let him ignore her authority over her own crew. He would address her like the leader she was.

            “Your assistance was appreciated,” Shepard said. “Thank you. All of you.”

            Garrus watched Shepard with indifference. She blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes.

            “So… uh, you two know each other?” Jacob asked.

            “This is Garrus Vakarian. He helped me in the fight against Sovereign, Saren, and the geth. He was there with me on the Citadel when the attack happened,” Shepard said keeping her eyes locked on Garrus.

            “Why didn’t you tell us you knew Archangel?” Miranda asked.

            “It’s a newly acquired moniker,” Garrus answered for her.

            At least he was still keeping her secret.

            “I see,” Miranda said crossing her arms.

            “Suggest moving to secure location. Possible Talons could return,” Mordin said.

            “I suppose if you’re here, there’s trouble?” Garrus asked Shepard.

            “Collectors are abducting entire colonies. We’ve reason to believe they are doing so by orders of the reapers,” Shepard said feeding into the charade.

            “We’re set up over there for now, it will be secure enough for us to talk,” Garrus said indicating the building Shepard had noted earlier.

            She extended her hand as if to say ‘after you’. Garrus turned and led the way back to the abandoned building. The lower floor was empty, nothing but dust, debris, and footprints. It had an open layout, allowing Shepard to see clear to the other side of the building. Once everyone was inside, two men barred the door behind them before taking up guard positions. Shepard was curious what kind of layout they had upstairs, but Garrus didn’t offer to give them a tour.

“So, who is this, exactly?” the turian woman asked.

“Surely you recognize a legend when you see one, Sarat,” Garrus said.

The turian woman looked at Shepard and narrowed her eyes in thought. Shepard returned the gaze calmly. She could tell the moment the turian placed Shepard’s face because her mandibles snapped tight against her own.

“Ah. Commander Shepard. I thought you were dead,” she said.

“I was,” Shepard said simply.

 _“Dead and they took us and cut us open. The brought us back to life with torture,”_ Jane said.

Sarat scoffed and whispers spread through Garrus’ team. A human male stepped up to Garrus’ other side.

“How’s that, then?” he asked.

Shepard shrugged and opened her mouth to try and answer when more questions started to pour from the crowd.

“How could you have been dead, you’re standing right here in front of us,” a batarian asked.

“Don’t be stupid, she couldn’t have been. She was obviously sent on a deep cover mission by the Council, she’s a Spectre, remember?” and asari said.

Shepard frowned.

“But her ship was torn apart and Archangel saw her get spaced,” another turian said. “No way she survived that.”

The group of men and women devolved into bickering amongst themselves and Shepard stopped paying attention. She turned her attention back to Garrus who was watching her with scrutiny. Shepard cleared her throat.

“I’m here because I have been tasked with putting together a team to deal with the collectors. The name ‘Archangel’ appeared on my list of dossiers. My team could use someone with your particular skill set,” Shepard said standing at parade rest once more.

“You can’t be serious?” Sarat spoke.

Shepard turned her head to glance at Sarat, “I assure you, I am.”

“You disappear for two years, let him think you’re dead and then just show up here and expect him to leave all of us behind to go fight your war?” Sarat asked derisively.

 _“Our war. It is always our war,”_ Jane said.

“Sarat,” Garrus said quietly but she ignored him.

“That is assuming that there is even a war to really be fought. The Council still denies your claims,” Sarat continued.

“Sarat,” Garrus said again.

“Even your Alliance has not spoken out in support of your claims,” Sarat said.

“Sarat!” Garrus snarled.

“What? Tell me I’m wrong!” Sarat said.

“You’re wrong. Now go find something useful to do before Shepard knocks you on your ass!” Garrus barked the order out.

Sarat’s eyes bugged out as much as any turian’s eyes can and her mouth hung slack. Shepard schooled her features before a smug smile could cross her lips but she heard a chuckle from Miranda. Sarat heard it too and she spun to look at Shepard and her team; her mandibles snapped tight against her jaw. Shepard raised an eyebrow. Sarat spun on her heel and stormed off.

Garrus returned his penetrating gaze to Shepard. The two watched each other in silence for long minutes. Members of Garrus’ team slowly started to filter away to do their own thing. Jacob shifted beside Shepard. Still the two watched each other. Shepard was starting to worry that he might actually tell her no. Even if he was still hurt with her, angry at her, she really didn’t know if she could do all of this without him.

“If he’s not coming with us, I suggest we move on, Commander. There are more people we need to find, the collectors aren’t going to wait for us,” Miranda said.

Shepard raised a hand to silence the woman and heard Miranda’s soft scoff in response but kept her eyes on Garrus. Finally, he shifted his weight and she knew she had won.

“Give me an hour with my team, to set things in order,” Garrus said.

“You’re actually going to go with her? You’re going to leave m – us and go?” Sarat’s raised voice carried across the room.

Shepard’s jaw clenched, if she had any doubts before of what Garrus meant to Sarat they were now gone with the woman’s almost slip of tongue. The only question that remained was what Sarat meant to him. Garrus’ mandibles flared before snapping closed again. Shepard saw him grind his pointed teeth together.

“Excuse me,” Garrus said turning away from Shepard. “Sarat. Upstairs. Now.”

Garrus walked towards the back of the room and disappeared up a flight of stairs. Sarat followed after him. Within seconds, a few of Garrus’ group had approached Shepard and started asking questions about the collectors and the reapers. Shepard answered what she could; telling them only what she could justify knowing.

“We believe the collectors to be working in collusion with the reapers. So far, there have only been reports of missing human colonies. It is likely that they will soon move on to other species. The reapers are a race of sentient machines, AI’s, that have existed for at least before the times of the protheans,” Shepard said.

A few minutes later, everyone in the room became uncomfortably aware of the sounds of a heated argument floating down from the next floor. Shepard shifted her weight and continued to talk about the reapers as more moved towards her to listen.

“We don’t know how long, exactly, but evidence has been found indicating that they were responsible for the extinction of the protheans and many other advanced species before the protheans,” she said. “Prothean data was found indicating that the reapers exist in a state of stasis in dark space until they return to complete another harvesting. The ship that attacked the Citadel, Sovereign, was a vanguard for the reapers tasked with opening the way for the others return. By defeating him, we have slowed their process but not stopped the threat. They are still coming.”

“… irrelevant and none of your goddamn business, Sarat!” Garrus’ voice rose.

“How is it irrelevant, Garrus?! You’re running off to be with a _human_!” Sarat’s voice rose to match his.

“This isn’t about Shepard! Spirits! The threat is real, the reapers _are_ coming,” Garrus’ words echoing those Shepard just spoke.

Shepard swallowed against the thick knot in her throat and stopped trying to talk over the sound of their argument. Everyone else shifted around her, now avoiding her eyes. A few of them looked sorry for her. She clenched her jaw tight. She hated pity.

“Oh, so you won’t be bedding her then?” Sarat growled.

Things were silent upstairs for a few seconds then Shepard heard movement. She was just about to open her mouth to ask the others to tell Garrus to meet them at her ship when she heard him yell.

“We’ve got incoming!” Garrus warned as the sound of gunfire echoed down the stairs.

Shepard pushed past everyone in her way and rushed up the stairs. Sarat glared at Shepard from her crouched position beneath a window frame. Others were moving up the stairs behind her, spreading out through the upper two floors.

“How many?” Shepard asked checking her thermal clip.

“Thirty,” Garrus had the barrel of his sniper rifle aimed between two planks of wood covering another window and pulled the trigger, “Make that twenty-nine.”

Shepard touched her mic, “Mordin, with me. Jacob, Miranda watch the doors.”

Shepard moved to a window and started firing. A minute later Mordin was at the other side of the same window setting the Talons below on fire. The salarian from Garrus’ team moved to the window next to Sarat and used a Cryo Blast to freeze Talons while Sarat shot them, causing them to shatter. A bullet tore through the window and hit the salarian in the head. He took one stumbling step backwards before he collapsed. Sarat screamed and moved to his side, trying to rouse him but it was hopeless.

“Damn it,” Shepard heard Garrus curse.

“This is all your fault,” Sarat said quietly and something about the woman’s voice made Shepard glance her way.

Sarat was pointing her gun at Shepard. Shepard spun, leveling her own pistol at Sarat. Mordin turned to take aim at the female turian as well.

“Sarat, you don’t want to do this,” Shepard warned.

“Sarat! Drop it, now!” Garrus asked catching on to what was taking place.

“This is her fault. If she hadn’t shown up, neither would the Talons. You wouldn’t have had to help her; you wouldn’t have shown yourself on the streets. They wouldn’t have followed us back here. Mierin’s dead because of her!” Sarat yelled.

“Sarat, I am not your enemy. Those men out there, the ones who shot Mierin are,” Shepard said.

Sarat’s finger twitched towards the trigger. Garrus pulled his sniper rifle up and fired. The bullet passed cleanly through her head; Sarat was dead before she hit the floor. Garrus turned back to the window leaving Shepard to stare at him in stunned silence. Mordin began firing out the window again. Shepard pulled herself together and turned back to the window. 

 _“Gods, he just… he just shot her. She was one of his and he just shot her!”_ Jane said.

When the streets were silent again, and the sounds of gunfire stopped echoing through the building Garrus spoke into his comm. Shepard and her crew weren’t on his frequency, but she was standing right next to him.

“Sarat and Mierin are down. This location has been compromised. We leave in five,” Garrus said.

Shepard followed Garrus back down the stairs to the main floor. He didn’t even glance back at the dead members of his team. That wasn’t at all like Garrus, not the Garrus she loved and not even like the Garrus of Jane’s memories. The Garrus who would have blamed himself for Sidonis’ betrayal and the death of his team. The Garrus that would have carved each of their names into his visor. The Garrus who would have shrouded the bodies of the dead with love and honor. The Garrus who would have hunted down the man responsible and made him pay with his own life. This was a new Garrus; a calloused Garrus too cold to even care that he had shot one of his own.

 _“What did you do?”_ Jane asked.

Shepard motioned Miranda and Jacob to her as Garrus’ team swarmed in and out of rooms gathering up their belongings and regrouping by the door. When everyone was ready, the bar was removed and they moved cautiously from the building. The bodies of more than sixty Talons littered the streets between the original assault location to the front of the building Garrus’ team had called home.

Shepard was impressed with the efficiency of Garrus’ team and the ease at which he had taken to leading them. They followed his signals to spread out and move from building to building without question or hesitation. Everyone was alert and quiet as they moved out of the Talons’ territory and through the Tuhi District. As they made their way through more densely populated areas, members of Garrus’ team stopped to shake his hand and tell him goodbye before disappearing into the crowds. When they reached the entrance to the docks outside of Afterlife, four remained.

Garrus turned to speak with them and Shepard walked a few feet away with her team to give them some privacy. After a few minutes, the two turians and the human left Garrus alone with the batarian. Shepard saw Garrus shake his head and nod over his shoulder towards her. The batarian trained his eyes on her before walking over to her.

“I want to come with you,” he said.

Garrus walked up to stand at his side. Shepard’s eyes slid to Garrus in question and he lifted a shoulder before letting it fall again. She pursed her lips.

“You are aware or what will be expected of you?” Shepard asked.

The batarian checked the thermal clip on his pistol, “I believe in your cause, I believe the reapers are coming and I intend to fight them. Whether alone, or with a team. I’d much rather do it with a team,” he said.

“And you would be comfortable on a Cerberus vessel?” Shepard asked.

“Can’t say I know anything about Cerberus,” he said.

Shepard scratched the side of her head and glanced towards Miranda and Jacob.

“We are a privately funded organization focused on the advancement of humanity,” Miranda said stepping up to Shepard’s side.

Garrus scoffed and Shepard’s lip twitched up into a small smile.

“What she means to say is, they are a privately funded organization focused on the advancement of humanity above all other species, and at any cost no matter how sick and twisted,” Garrus said.

Miranda glared at Garrus and crossed her arms. She opened her mouth to speak again and Shepard held up a hand before things got ugly.

“Right now, Cerberus is the only one taking this threat seriously so I have found myself temporarily allied with Cerberus. I do not agree with Cerberus’ methods, and I don’t necessarily support their ideals. That being said, I am in charge of this mission and you would be working for me, not Cerberus,” Shepard said.

The batarian blinked his eyes at Shepard, “I can handle that.”

Shepard reached out a hand, “Then welcome aboard… I’m sorry; I didn’t catch your name?”

 _“He can’t come with us, he’s dead. He’s dead and no one brought him back with cutting and scraping. Dead men can’t fight wars,”_ Jane said.

The batarian shook Shepard’s hand, “Grundan Krul.”

“Welcome aboard, Grundan Krul,” Shepard said.


	4. Chapter 3: Lots of Alcohol

**Chapter 3: Lots of Alcohol**

            “Looks like Cerberus will let any goddamn thing on this ship,” Zaeed said when Shepard boarded with Grundan Krul.

Shepard shot him a warning glance and the man resorted to abusive stares and quiet grumbles. Grundan Krul watched Zaeed closely after that, keeping him in sight as Shepard herded them towards the communications room.

            “What training do you have, Grundan?” Jacob asked.

            “Batarians not approve of shortening names. Offensive. Full name provided. Full name should be used,” Mordin shrugged, “If want to avoid conflict.”

            Shepard missed the more expansive debriefing room of the old Normandy. It gave her room to pace and there were seats for her crew. Grundan Krul stood next to Garrus who leaned against the wall next to the door with his arms crossed – as far away from Shepard as he could get. Jacob stood next to Miranda on the opposite side of the table. Mordin stood just in front of the door facing Shepard, who had taken up station at the far end of the table. Zaeed mimicked Garrus’ wall-leaning stance behind and to the side of Shepard. His good eye locked on Grundan Krul.

            “Grundan Krul, sorry,” Jacob held a hand palm up. “Didn’t mean any offense.”

            “I’m familiar enough with the ways of humans to not take offense. The first time,” Grundan Krul said. “Since leaving Khar’shan I’ve spent most of my time free-lancing. Spent some time with the Blue Suns. Left the Blue Suns over management disputes. Then I met Archangel. Been with him for a few months now.”

 _“We’ve never taken a batarian aboard before. This isn’t good, this won’t end well,”_ Jane said.

            Zaeed hissed when Grundan Krul mentioned working with the Blue Suns. Shepard seriously hoped that this wasn’t going to be a big problem. She hadn’t discussed the Blue Suns and Vido Santiago with Zaeed yet, but Jane’s memories told her the sordid details of Zaeed’s past. Jacob glanced at Zaeed but Shepard chose to ignore his grumbling until she had a chance to speak with him alone.

            “EDI?” Shepard said.

            EDI’s blue hologram popped up in front of Mordin, “Yes, Shepard?”

            “Please pull up what we have on the collectors so far,” Shepard said.

            “At once,” EDI replied.

            A holographic screen unfurled itself in the air above the table before the footage from Freedom’s Progress began to play across its surface. Behind that, a model of a collector’s ship rotated in the air. Still form pictures of a close up of a collector and the paralyzing swarms displayed themselves at designated stations around the ring of the table. Garrus, Grundan Krul, and Zaeed all moved closer to a station to look closely at their new enemies.

            “The collectors act by first sending out swarms of insect like creatures. We are not yet certain if they are organic or synthetic,” Shepard said trying to keep straight in her mind what she experienced versus what Jane experienced.

            “My data analysis of the video feeds indicates synthetic structures and behaviors of the swarms,” EDI said.

            “Thank you, EDI,” Shepard said.

            “Of course, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “Is that a bloody AI?” Zaeed asked.

            “Yes, the Enhanced Defense Intelligence, or EDI as we call it is an AI. It is shackled, and its accessibility to the ship is monitored. You needn’t be concerned,” Miranda said.

            “She,” Shepard said absently.

            “Pardon me?” Miranda asked.

            “You said ‘it’. EDI is feminine and self-aware; your petty insults do not go unnoticed even if she does not remark on them. EDI is a ‘she’ and not an ‘it’. She has a personality, a life of her own even if it differs from your understanding of life,” Shepard said keeping her eyes on the holographic displays on the table in front of her.

            _“Yes, she. EDI is our friend. She saves us so many times but sometimes we kill her. We kill her and all the geth so we can kill the reapers, too,”_ Jane said.

            Garrus chuffed and Shepard’s heart raced. She clenched her jaw, angry that he still had such an effect on her even after his cold reception. Shepard could feel his eyes on her now. She refused to look at him; she refused to acknowledge her own stupid physiological response to his presence and refused to see the lack of wanting in his eyes.

After a moment when Miranda did not respond, Shepard raised her head to look at the woman. She stood with her arms crossed, and a hip cocked. She had that snotty look about her that Miranda’s face seemed perfectly designed for. Shepard humorously wondered if that was a part of her genetic engineering; if that was a trait her father sought out when he had her created from his own DNA. Shepard dismissed the woman’s attitude by turning her attention back to the video recording playing in the center of the table.

“As you can see, the seeker swarms sting their victims causing a paralysis reaction. Preventing them from any form of self-defense and leaving them hapless targets for the collectors to… well, collect. The collectors then place the victims, still alive, into stasis chambers and transport them to their ships,” Shepard said.

 _“They’re melting them down, turning them into liquid. Pumping them inside of it. Feeding the baby reaper its first meal so it can grow big and strong and kill us all,”_ Jane said.

She paused, “EDI, a map of the locations hit by the collectors so far, please.”

“Yes, Shepard,” EDI’s voice sounded a bit softer.

When the map was displayed, Shepard continued, “As you can see, all of the colonies hit so far have been human colonies. The collectors have stayed primarily to those small, remote colonies in the Terminus Systems. Freedom’s Progress,” Shepard said reaching out and sliding her hand along the map to zoom in on Freedom’s Progress, “Is the most recent of these attacks.”

“Unfortunately, the video footage you just saw was the only evidence we were able to obtain,” Shepard said.

“What makes you sure they will go after other species, then?” Grundan Krul asked.

“Collectors already shown interest in other species. Have traded for specimens from different species for many years. Plague on Omega likely created by collectors. Targets other species, not humans,” Mordin said.

“Thank you, Mordin,” Shepard said.

“Happy to help,” he replied.

“So why are they abducting only human colonists now?” Grundan Krul asked.

“Because Shepard pissed off the reapers,” Garrus said.

Shepard glanced at him and then back to Grundan Krul, “That very well may be the case. The working theory is that the collectors are working for the reapers, much the way that Saren and the geth did. When I thwarted Sovereign’s plans to assume control of the Citadel and allow the other reapers to pass through from dark space, I made myself and by extension all of humanity prime targets. It was a collector ship that destroyed the old Normandy.”

 _“Assuming control. That’s what Harbinger always says. He creeps inside the empty heads of the prothean shells and takes over their bodies,”_ Jane said.

Grundan Krul turned his head to look at Garrus and Garrus nodded in response.

“So what’s our plan of attack?” Zaeed asked.

“We are hoping that Mordin can devise something to combat the seeker swarms. That will allow us to respond to attacks while they are happening, and ideally make it possible for us to board a collector ship,” Shepard said. “We need to know why the attacks are happening, what they are doing with the people they take, and every last scrap of information that we can gather on them in order to know how best to defeat them.”

“Will need more information on the swarms. Preferable to have active specimen to run tests,” Mordin said.

Shepard winced inwardly, without the information that Veetor gathered in other lives they were starting this war out at a disadvantage. A name and a face floated to the forefront of her mind: James Vega. Shepard tried to search the memory of Vega to understand his importance in that moment but Jane yelled in her head.

 _“No, no. You’ve changed too much! You can’t go see him, leave him alone. You’ll kill him, too. It’s too early, we can’t meet him yet,”_ Jane said.

“Jane, who is he? If he can help us, we need to go see him,” Shepard thought.

 _“No. We can’t let you. We want the changes to stop, we don’t like them. We were wrong, we want things to go back the way they’re supposed to be,”_ Jane pleaded.

“Damn it, Jane, who is he?” Shepard asked.

Jane stopped talking. Shepard tried to push for the memory but Jane was fighting her too hard. Shepard’s brow furrowed as she fought against Jane to no avail.

“Commander?” Jacob said.

Shepard looked up to see that Jacob and the others were all watching her.

“I’m sorry, just, uh, running some things through my head,” Shepard said. “EDI, run a pattern analysis on the targets hit so far. See if you can find any connection, something that might give us an idea of where they’ll hit next. And get me a list of human colonies in the Terminus Systems.”

“Right away, Shepard,” EDI said.

“For now we need to head to the Citadel. I’ve been summoned by Councilor Anderson and the longer I wait to report the more problematic things will become. If I’m lucky, the Council will still consider me a Spectre. That will open a lot of doors for us. For now, everyone find a place to settle in. Mordin, I’ll show you to the lab,” Shepard said. “Zaeed, I’ll come see you once I’ve got Mordin set up.”

Garrus was the first one out the door. Shepard wasn’t surprised, even if it did hurt. She’d have to talk to him eventually, but for now, she’d give him his space. She took Mordin to the labs just outside the comm room. She watched as the salarian scientist scoped out the new lab, checking on equipment and inventorying what was available to him.

“If there is anything missing, anything that you need just let EDI know. If you have any ideas for ways to upgrade the ship, or anything else at all that will help us on this mission let me know and we’ll make sure you get what you need,” Shepard said.

“Yes. Excellent. Will get to work right away. Will send what I have. Thank you, Shepard,” Mordin said.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to get started,” Shepard said.

She made her way to the CIC and to the galaxy map to set coordinates for the Citadel.

“You have messages waiting for you, Commander,” Kelly said.

“Great, thanks, Kelly,” Shepard responded still working at the map.

“It looks like you’re already pulling together quite the team,” Kelly said.

Shepard looked up from the map, “Yeah, we’re off to a good start. Grundan Krul was an unexpected addition, hopefully he works out well.”

“I must admit that I’m very curious about Grundan Krul. My knowledge on batarians is limited, and I don’t have any background information on him to work with. This will be challenging, but I like challenges!” Kelly said.

Shepard chuckled, “Just uh, try not to be too pushy if he doesn’t want to talk. And apparently, make sure you use his full name.”

“I will be sure to remember that, thanks Shepard,” Kelly said.

“Sure, Kelly. Anytime,” Shepard said heading towards the elevator.

She took the elevator up to her cabin and sat down at her desk, opening the laptop. The first message at the top of the list was from Wrex. Shepard couldn’t help the smile at seeing his name.

Shepard: About time you’re back up and fighting. Good to hear from you. I’m on Tuchanka, come see me if you get the chance. I’ll let everyone know not to give you any shit.

Shepard smiled and clicked the reply button.

Wrex: Well, I couldn’t let you have all the fun without me. I’ve got a lot going on, but I will definitely be coming to see you as soon as I can.

She sent the reply and then moved on to the next message from Kirrahe.

Shepard: Contact me again when you are on the Citadel.

Shepard didn’t reply to that one, she knew Kirrahe was probably busy and possibly in the middle of getting shot at. She’d let him know when she reached the Citadel as he asked. The next message was from Tali.

Shepard: I can’t be at the Citadel now. There are some things happening with the Migrant Fleet. I will contact you again when I can meet with you. And Shepard, I’m so happy to know that you are alive.

 _“Thank the gods, you didn’t kill her, too,”_ Jane said.

“That’s not fair, Jane. She wasn’t even on the Normandy when it went down,” Shepard thought.

 _“Doesn’t matter, you’re changing so much. Garrus survived the wreck but died inside anyway,”_ Jane said.

“Alright, you know what, can it Jane. I can’t deal with your negative bullshit right now,” Shepard thought.

Shepard bit her lip, rereading Tali’s words. Was the fleet already moving towards a war with the geth? Was it something else – was Tali in trouble?

Tali: I understand. If you’re in trouble though… if there is anything I can do, just let me know. Hope to see you soon.

Shepard was about to close the laptop when a new message notification popped up on her screen. She went back to her inbox and saw Garrus’ name. She clicked on the message and saw that he had replied to the one she sent him, but wasn’t acknowledging her message otherwise.

Shepard: I have things I need to do on the Citadel. Will this be a problem?

Shepard sat back in her chair and stared at the brief words filled with formality and not a drop of familiarity. A part of her wanted to tell him no just for spite, but she couldn’t bring herself to be that childish.

Garrus: No problem.

“EDI, where has Zaeed Massani taken up residence?” Shepard asked.

“Mr. Massani is in the Starboard Cargo located on Deck Four,” EDI said.

“Thanks, EDI. Hey, EDI… I hope it was alright that I spoke up for you earlier with Miranda. I guess I could have made a point to ask you how you felt about the subject,” Shepard said moving to the blue hologram.

EDI was quiet for a moment before responding, “It was unexpected. I have no preferences on the matter at this time, but I understand and appreciate the attempt at inclusion. Flight Lieutenant Moreau would like to see you, when you have time.”

“Thanks EDI, please tell Joker that I’ve got to speak with Zaeed and then I’ll stop by,” Shepard said.

“At once. Logging you out, Shepard,” EDI said.

Shepard left her cabin and summoned the elevator. The elevator stopped at Deck 3 and the door slid open. Garrus looked up from his omni-tool just outside the elevator and his mandibles clicked. Shepard crossed her arms and moved over to the corner. Garrus walked in and went to the opposite side. The doors slid closed once again and the elevator continued downwards to the lowest deck.

The elevator on the new Normandy was so much smaller than it was on the old Normandy. Even with them in opposite corners, Shepard could reach out and touch him. Gods she wanted to reach out and touch him. She dug her fingers into the soft fabric of her shirt and closed her eyes. Tears were starting to well up and she fought them off. The elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. Garrus stepped out and glanced around before heading into Engineering. Shepard made her way to the Starboard Cargo and stepped inside.

Zaeed was standing at the back of the room leaning against the wall. When she came in he looked at her and grunted. She crossed the room to lean a hip against a table.

“Tell me about your arrangement with the Illusive Man,” Shepard said.

“I’ve tracked down an old ‘friend’ of mine,” Zaeed made air quotes when he said ‘friend’. “I owe him a bullet between the eyes. You’re going to help me make sure he gets it.”

“Tell me about this ‘friend’ of yours,” Shepard said mimicking the gesture.

Zaeed grunted, “Name’s Vido Santiago. We started the Blue Suns together. We had some disagreements about the way things should be run. Vido thought he could get rid of me, solve his problems. Son-of-a-bitch shot me in the face and left me for dead.”

“Where is he now?” Shepard asked.

“He’s hold up with a bunch of Blue Suns at an Eldfell-Ashland refinery on Zorya. I’ll forward the coordinates to you. You know that goddamn batarian is going to be a problem, don’t you?” Zaeed said.

“I know that you had better not find ways to make him a problem,” Shepard said.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, as long as he doesn’t get in my way and Cerberus pays me what is due, I can play nice. Even with a goddamn batarian,” Zaeed said.

Shepard pushed herself away from the table, “Seriously. Don’t call me sweetheart.”

“You’ll have to forgive an old man a few bad habits, but I’ll work on it, Shepard,” Zaeed said with a smirk.

“Thanks. We’ll get to the refinery as soon as we can. I’m sorry I can’t make it a top priority. It will get taken care of, though,” Shepard said.

 _“People will be burning, on fire like we were on fire when we died,”_ Jane said.

“The sooner, the better, Shepard. Can’t say I’ll be at my best until I know that worthless son-of-a-bitch is dead,” Zaeed said.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Zaeed,” Shepard said turning to leave.

“One more thing. Maybe it ain’t none of my damn business, but the tension between you and that Archangel fellow – you might want to deal with that sooner than later, too,” Zaeed said.

Shepard looked down at her boots and nodded her head, “Yeah. I’ll get to that. He needs a little time to readjust. I hurt him pretty bad.”

“He’s a turian, and you’re a commanding officer. Just yell at him and tell him to get his ass in line,” Zaeed said.

Shepard laughed, “Yeah… I don’t think that would work so well with this particular turian.”

Zaeed shrugged, “Worth a shot, yeah?”

Shepard nodded, “Yeah, maybe. Thanks. I’ll talk to you later, Zaeed.”

Shepard walked out the door of the Starboard Cargo in time to see Garrus turn his head away from her and step back on to the elevator. Shepard groaned and walked over herself. Garrus was pushing the button to get the elevator to close its doors.

“Commander Shepard is attempting to board the elevator, Mr. Vakarian. The doors will close when all parties are inside,” EDI’s voice came through the elevator.

“Hmmm. Ah, thanks… EDI. I didn’t see her coming,” Garrus said.

“Biometric scans indicate that is inaccurate, Mr. Vakarian,” EDI said.

Shepard stopped in front of the elevator, “Mr. Vakarian was making a bad attempt at what organics consider to be a polite social lie. He wishes to avoid my presence when possible, but hoped to be inconspicuous with his attempts. It’s alright, EDI. Take him wherever he needs to go and send the elevator back down to me.”

Garrus lifted his head to meet her gaze, and she caught the first signs of pain behind the anger. She swallowed and closed her eyes.

“As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said and the elevator slid closed.

Shepard leaned her forehead against the closed doors and let out a sigh.

EDI’s voice spoke a minute later, “The elevator has arrived, Shepard. In order to prevent personal injury, please step away from the door before it opens.”

Shepard stepped back, “Thanks, EDI.”

“I have completed my pattern analysis and a full list of the planets attacked by the collectors to date has been sent to your console. I have narrowed down four likely locations for the next collector attack and have highlighted those locations on a separate list of human colonies in the Terminus Systems. Is there anything else I can do for you, Shepard?” EDI asked once Shepard was on the elevator.

“That’s it for now,” Shepard said.

“Logging you out, Shepard,” came EDI’s standard reply.

Shepard took the elevator up to the CIC and headed towards the cockpit. She slipped into the seat next to Joker and offered him a quick smile when he glanced her way.

“Hey, Commander. So, it’s good to see Garrus again, right?” Joker asked.

“I’m not sure he would agree with that sentiment right now, but yeah, it’s good to see him,” Shepard said.

Joker winced, “Yeah he stopped by to say hello. He seemed, uh, different.”

“I fucked up, Joker. I don’t think he’s going to forgive me,” Shepard said.

“Have you tried talking to him yet – about you know?” Joker asked.

“No, not yet. He’s trying to avoid me so I haven’t had a chance to even try,” Shepard said.

“Well, he can’t avoid you forever,” Joker said.

Shepard chuckled, “Suppose not.”

“And we’ve got a batarian onboard now, that’s just great,” Joker said his sarcasm not lost on Shepard.

“Hey, if he’s willing to fight against the collectors, who am I to stand in his way?” Shepard asked.

“Fair enough. Let’s just hope that he doesn’t decide that a Cerberus ship full of humans would make a good homecoming present,” Joker said.

“Joker… you know I wouldn’t let that ever happen,” Shepard said.

“Yeah,” Joker said after a thoughtful moment.

He didn’t sound completely sure. Shepard realized that she had wounded his trust too, he was just better at dealing with it than Garrus was. She closed her eyes and could still see his face screaming at her as the escape pod door closed on him. She only hoped that she could find a way to fix things, end this cycle and stop the reapers so that it wasn’t all for nothing.

Shepard stood and rested a hand on Joker’s shoulder, “I’m sorry, Joker. About it all.”

“Yeah. Hey Commander, why don’t you go get some sleep?” Joker said.

“Can’t yet, need to look over the reports EDI sent me. I will soon, though,” Shepard said leaving the cockpit.

In her cabin, Shepard looked over the lists comparing what colonies where attacked to what colonies EDI decided were likely next targets. She was having trouble seeing the pattern herself, but she trusted EDI. Her eyes kept being drawn back to the name Fehl Prime. She pushed into Jane’s memories, trying to find the connection but Jane shoved back blocking her out.

“Damn it, Jane. I need to know everything; will you stop this shit already?” Shepard thought.

Jane didn’t respond. Shepard gave up and went to bed.

The next morning they were docking with the Citadel. Shepard gave the green light for anyone who wanted to get off the ship for a while to go and meet back at the Normandy in two hours. If they needed longer to complete their business, they were to notify EDI immediately. Shepard sent a quick message to Kirrahe letting him know that she was docking with the Citadel but had to meet with the Council first.

Shepard stepped out of the airlock and paused to take a look around her. The Citadel had changed so much since Sovereign’s attack. Pretty much everything had been revamped. The docks had higher levels of security and a higher human presence than ever before. Shepard moved over to an advertisement kiosk when it lit up with a woman’s face and called her name. She recognized the hooded figure of Kasumi Goto from Jane’s memories. She also recalled that the master thief was standing on the catwalks above watching Shepard talk to a stupid advertisement.

“Silence is Golden. Happy?” Shepard gave the code word to the advertisement before turning to look up at the woman on the catwalks, “Can you come down here now and talk to me in person?”

“No fun! How’d you know I was here?” Kasumi asked.

Shepard shrugged, “Call it intuition.”

Kasumi activated her Tactical Cloak, disappearing from sight. Two seconds later she reappeared on the ground and strolled up to Shepard. Shepard held her hand out to the thief who shook her hand.

“I’m sure Cerberus has told you everything you need to know. It’s unlikely they told me everything _I_ need to know. Mind filling me in on the terms of your arrangement?” Shepard asked knowing the answers already.

“Slip their minds, huh? I’m going to need your help retrieving my old partner’s graybox from a man named Donavan Hock. He has it locked in his vault; I’ll need your help infiltrating the vault. We do our job right, there shouldn’t be any need for him to even know it’s missing until we’re gone,” Kasumi said.

“Why does Hock have the graybox?” Shepard asked.

“Before he was killed, Keiji said that he had acquired some information – serious information – that could cause wars if it was ever found out. Hock wanted that information so he killed Keiji and took his graybox,” Kasumi said.

Shepard nodded her head, “Alright, Kasumi. I’ve got some business to take care of here on the Citadel. We should be done here in a couple of hours. You’re welcome to check out the Normandy or tend to whatever else you need to do before we leave.”

“See you on the ship, Shepard,” Kasumi said before activating her Tactical Cloak again.

Shepard walked past the security desk and into the first door of the Citadel. She paused when she saw Garrus standing at the end of the hall talking to a turian C-Sec officer. She saw his mandibles flare from behind when she walked in, a sign that he knew she was there. Shepard squared her shoulders and walked up to the checkpoint.

She stopped a couple of feet from Garrus, knowing that the scanners were going to give a read out on her that would confuse the C-Sec guard. She glanced at Garrus while the C-Sec officer talked to his higher-ups on the comm. Garrus deigned to spare her a brief look before turning back to the officer.

“I can verify that this is Commander Shepard, Sargent Haron,” Garrus said to the officer.

“It says she’s dead,” Haron said.

Garrus flinched ever so slightly.

“I was, uh, MIA a couple of years back. The Council knows I’m here now. I’ll get things fixed,” Shepard said.

“Alright. Just be sure to check in with my captain. He’s at the desk just past that door,” Haron said pointing over his shoulder.

Shepard nodded, “Sure thing, thanks Sargent.”

Shepard made her way through the door to stop in front of Captain Bailey’s desk. Jane’s memories were filled with fond conversations with the human C-Sec officer. He had a family back on Earth, an ex-wife he still clearly cared about and children. Shepard didn’t completely agree with his methods, but she couldn’t fault the man for his effectiveness and he’d be there to help her when the time came.

“Excuse me, Captain?” Shepard said.

“Commander Shepard, welcome back to the Citadel. And the land of the living, it looks like. Let me save you a mound of paperwork and waiting, I’ll fix this right up for you,” Bailey said.

“Uh, yeah, thanks. I appreciate that,” Shepard said.

“I’m guessing the Council already knows you’re here?” Bailey asked.

“Yeah, I’m headed to them now,” Shepard said. “Things are… uh, quite a bit different since the last time I was here.”

Garrus walked in, passing by her without as much as a glance.

“This shit is getting old,” Shepard grumbled under her breath.

There was a hitch in Garrus’ step but he kept on going.

“What was that, Commander?” Bailey asked.

“Sorry, nothing. Thinking out loud. Anyway, thanks, Captain. I’d better get to the Council,” Shepard said.

“Glad I could help, Commander. Let me know if you need anything,” Bailey said.

Shepard left the C-Sec office and headed over to the rapid transit station. She called up the cab and had it take her to Anderson’s office. As expected, the rest of the Council was already present via holographic comms. Shepard greeted Anderson with a handshake before explaining to the Council about the collector abductions, and the belief that the collectors were working for the reapers.

“Commander Shepard, we concede that the reapers are real although we do not yet know what threat they actually pose at this time,” Tevos said.

Shepard was shocked. Had she heard that right?

 _“They… they believed you? How? No, no this isn’t right. Too much is changing. What will happen now? I don’t know what will happen now!”_ Jane said.

“Everyone I’ve spoken to says that you are still denying the existence of the reapers,” Shepard said.

“We have put forth publicly that the reapers do not exist and that Sovereign was nothing more than an advanced ship created by the geth. Until we have more solid evidence that the reapers are capable and intent on attacking, we do not wish to alarm the public,” Valern said.

“We were not able to completely decipher all of the information that you provided us from the prothean VI, and the VI is no longer functioning on Ilos,” Tevos said.

“What we were able to decipher, and verify, was enough to convince us that the reapers are real and responsible for the prothean extinction,” Sparatus said.

“We’re still working on the rest, Shepard,” Anderson said.

“We don’t know that the reapers are actually still around, and we don’t know that they are coming to attack us. If Sovereign has been here, in hiding since the time of the protheans, it is completely possible that its attempts to gain access to the Citadel were little more than wishful thinking that there were still others waiting on the other side,” Valern said.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. She had managed to change the Council’s stance on the reapers, but only just barely. They were still going to be as big of an obstacle as they ever were for Jane.

“Commander, you have been gone for two years and now you are working with Cerberus. Any evidence you present will be immediately suspect and will require independent verification. What evidence do you have that the collectors are responsible for the missing colonists? What evidence do you have that they are working for the reapers?” Tevos asked.

Shepard opened her omni-tool and forwarded the video footage from Freedom’s Progress to each of the councilors, “This footage was taken directly from the security feeds at the last location the collectors hit. It clearly shows the collectors abducting human colonists. I don’t yet have proof that they are working for the reapers, but as soon as I have it, I will send it to you.”

“As Councilor Tevos said, we will have to verify this evidence. The problem still stands, however, that the colonies that have been attacked are outside of Council space. We have no jurisdiction in the Terminus Systems,” Valern said.

“Unfortunately, the Alliance has no jurisdiction there either,” Anderson said. “Not on that scale. We can lend aid directly to human colonies, but we are not able to police the area, Shepard.”

“Which leaves me with little choice. Either I do nothing and let the attacks continue, or I stay with Cerberus and use their resources to find a way to stop this. It is not ideal for me, but I will do what needs to be done,” Shepard said.

“I am sorry, Commander, but there is no aid that we can offer you other than to show our support through reinstating your Spectre status. It will mean nothing in the Terminus Systems, but it will help shield you while you are in Citadel space,” Tevos said.

“Thank you, Councilor,” Shepard said. “I will continue to send you whatever I find, regardless. If it is something that can be used by the Council, then it is best to be prepared for whatever is coming.”

“Indeed, thank you, Commander,” Tevos said before ending the call.

Shepard stood staring at the empty hologram comms, “No offense, Anderson but this Council is unbelievable.”

Anderson chuckled, “You’re telling me, I’ve had to work with them every day since you offered me up to fill the slot.”

Shepard made a show of wincing, “Yeah… sorry about that. No way was I going to recommend Udina.”

Anderson chuckled and pulled Shepard into a hug. She squeezed him tight before pulling away to look at his face. He looked older; the Council was doing a number on the man that was for sure. There were more gray hairs lining his temples and the fine lines around his eyes weren’t as fine anymore.

“Christ, look at your face. Those scars. What did they do to you, Shepard?” Anderson asked.

 _“They cut us open and the scraped and drilled and pumped us full of things. They put metal parts and tubes inside of us and left them there,”_ Jane said.

“I don’t know all the details, and to be honest I’m pretty sure I don’t want to. What I do know is that they somehow got a hold of my corpse and spent the last two years cutting me open, cleaning me out, replacing broken parts, and implanting me with cybernetics. The cybernetics are actually pretty useful,” Shepard said.

“But why? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure glad as hell to see you on your feet, but I don’t understand why Cerberus would invest so much into you,” Anderson said.

Shepard half shrugged, “The leader of Cerberus is a man who calls himself ‘Illusive Man’. I’ve only been allowed to speak to him through holo-comms. A quantum entangler something or other. He claims it’s because of what I represent to humanity, and because he believes the reapers are coming. He put me in charge of stopping this thing with the collectors.”

“Huh. I suppose I understand that. You are a symbol of power and strength, hope and perseverance to the Alliance. Your loss was felt deeply,” Anderson said.

“Listen, Anderson, I know that I can’t be seen as a part of the Alliance anymore. But I want you to know that in my heart, I’m still Alliance. I’m not working for Cerberus, I’m making those sons-of-bitches work for me. Anything and everything that I get on Cerberus, the collectors, the reapers – all of it, it’s yours. You have my word,” Shepard said gripping the man’s shoulder.

Anderson studied her quietly for a moment before nodding his head, “That is good to hear, Commander. Very good to hear. I will give you whatever support I can.”

“They’ve got the whole ship bugged up and so don’t consider my accounts to be secured connections. I’ve been scanned for bugs myself recently, it seems they haven’t taken the step of bugging my gear. I don’t want to give them any reason to change their minds about that. Still, I’ll check regularly,” Shepard said.

“Good idea.  Here let me give you this program the Council gave me when I joined. It’ll let you know anytime you’re near any type of covert device,” Anderson said.

“Thanks, that will come in handy,” Shepard said. “I need to know, before the Normandy went down, I had talked to Hackett and he agreed that Liara T’Soni could join the research team on Mars. There was reason to believe that plans for a device capable of defeating the reapers is buried somewhere in the prothean ruins on Mars. I need to know if they’re still looking, if they found anything?”

“Yes, I heard that Dr. T’Soni was lost in the attack as well. You have my condolences, Shepard. I’m sure that loosing Dr. T’Soni and Gunnery Chief Williams has been very hard for you. It’s never easy losing someone on your team,” Anderson said squeezing Shepard’s shoulder. “I don’t know about the plans but I can speak to Hackett for you.”

 _“And it’s your fault. You stood there and let the collectors kill us. It’s my fault, never should have told you. Now we’re alive and they’re dead,”_ Jane said.

“Thank you, sir. If you find anything out, just send me a message asking me to meet with you in private. I don’t want Cerberus to know anything about this,” Shepard said. “And be sure to tell Hackett that if I’m on the Normandy SR-2, he has to assume that any transmissions he sends me are being cataloged by Cerberus. I’ll see if I can find a clear spot for private conversations with what you gave me. Until then, though, don’t take chances.”

“Shepard, before you go, I have something I need to ask you. It might be a bit difficult for you to talk about, but I have to ask,” Anderson said.

Shepard raised a brow, “What is it, sir?”

“A few weeks after the attacks on the Normandy, I decided on a hunch to check the final communications of all Alliance personnel aboard the Normandy at the time of the attack,” Anderson said.

All of the color drained from Shepard’s face and her mouth dried out. She stood very still, like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I, uh, I found that some messages had been delivered to some of the Alliance crew a couple of weeks after the Normandy went offline,” Anderson continued.

Anderson waited a moment for Shepard to speak but she said nothing.

“Shepard, you know what I found,” Anderson said.

“Anderson, I – I…,” Shepard tried to speak but her mouth was so dry and she couldn’t find the words.

“Sit down, kid. You look like you’re about to fall over,” Anderson led her to a chair. “Here, let me get you some water.”

 _“He knows. He knows about us. He’ll make you stop messing everything up. He’s going to lock you away where you can’t hurt anyone else. Where we can’t hurt anyone else,”_ Jane said.

Anderson brought over two glasses of water and sat down in a chair next to Shepard. Shepard took a long drink from the glass before setting it down carefully on his desk.

“Anderson, listen, I know it sounds crazy. It’s why I didn’t come to you or anyone higher up on the chain with it but you have to believe me, it’s real,” Shepard said.

“How, Shepard? How can this… Jane be real? You’ve got to level with me here, kid because it isn’t making a whole lot of sense,” Anderson said.

“I don’t know how, Anderson. I swear I don’t, but she’s real and she’s shown me so much already that has already come to pass and I… I don’t know, gods, I don’t know!” Shepard said rubbing her hands over her face and through her hair.

Anderson sat back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other. He watched Shepard in silence, tapping a finger against the smooth surface of his desk.

“Like what? Sovereign? Saren? The reapers?” Anderson finally asked.

“All of it, Anderson. Though she’s being a little more difficult right now. She’s trying to withhold information from me,” Shepard said.

“Withhold information? Why?” Anderson asked.

“She uh, she stayed conscious this time. Through my death and everything Cerberus did to bring me back… she’s not stable. They’re not stable,” Shepard said.

“OK, Commander. Assume I’m willing to try to believe this. What can you tell me, how can you prove this?” Anderson asked.

“Why are you even willing to try?” Shepard asked.

“Well, to be honest with you Commander when I found that first video I thought you had cracked. I must have watched it a hundred times trying to make sense out of it all. I tried to think of some other way that you could have known about the attack on the Normandy and everything else,” Anderson said.

“A part of me wanted to believe that you were a double-agent – working for the reapers or something, but I couldn’t convince myself of that. So, I searched through all of the accounts that I could and I erased all evidence of those messages ever being there. I only had access to the Alliance accounts, mind you, but I wanted to make sure no one else ever saw them. I wanted to make sure your memory wasn’t tarnished in any way,” he said.

“So no one else saw them?” Shepard asked relief sweeping over her.

 _“Why isn’t he locking us up?”_ Jane asked.

Anderson shook his head, “Then when I start getting reports of you being alive again… Well, if it weren’t for my having seen the wreckage with my own eyes and Joker swearing on his pilot’s license that he watched you get spaced… What other answer is there? You knew you were going to die, you knew Cerberus would bring you back to life. And you let it happen.”

“It was the only way to be sure I’d be where I needed to be to fight the collectors… the reapers. I tried, Anderson, but I couldn’t find anything solid that wouldn’t hurt us more in the long run,” Shepard said.

 _“Should have tried something else. Anything else. Liara and Ashely would still be alive and we wouldn’t have been cut open. It hurt. Gods it hurt,”_ Jane said.

“No other way?” Anderson asked.

“I was running out of time, Anderson. It was the right call,” Shepard said.

Anderson grunted, “Give me some proof, Shepard.”

“I know that there is a woman named Kahlee Sanders who now works for Grissom Academy. The two of you used to be involved. I know that you still care about her, and you miss her,” Shepard said.

Anderson rubbed a hand across his mouth, “I haven’t talked to anyone about Kahlee in years. Still, I’m going to need something more than that, Shepard.”

“I don’t know what else to say to convince you, Anderson. I can tell you all about what’s to come but you’d have to wait to see it before you could believe it. The only thing I have is to tell you things that I learned about you over the upcoming years,” Shepard said.

“Alright, start at the beginning, Commander,” Anderson said.

And so she did. She told him everything she could remember about what the early days were like for her, having found the beacon and then thinking that everything she was experiencing after that was caused by the beacon. She told him about the way she found that she just knew where enemies were going to be, or how to diffuse a bomb instantly. She told him about the joining with Liara, and Liara’s discovery of ‘the veil’. Shepard told him about how it damaged her brain when all the voices screamed in her mind that first time.

Shepard told Anderson about Dr. Tulina being called in by Dr. Chakwas, and all the work that Dr. Tulina had done to help Shepard interact with ‘the veil’. How through attempting to reach out and learning to mediate she became better and better at communicating with ‘the veil’ and learned the truth about Jane. How Jane begged her to find a way to break her cycle, so Shepard started trying to change things as much as she could. She started doing anything that she thought might make the Council believe her, make them take action. She started doing anything she could to prepare the galaxy for the reapers and for the war, thinking that maybe that was the way to do it.

She told him how when she was dying, lost adrift in space and suffocating, Jane was finally able to completely breakthrough. She told him how terrified she was, and how terrified Jane sounded in her mind, confused as to why she felt like she was dying, too. How when she woke up again, on that cold, steel slab in a Cerberus lab, Jane ranted like a madwoman in her head.

Her omni-tool beeped at her. She stopped to check it; it was from Kirrahe he said he was outside of the embassies and waiting for her.

“Anderson, I’m sorry. I know that there is still so much more you need to hear, but I have to go. The salarian we worked with on Virmire, Kirrahe, is waiting for me outside. I can’t miss this meeting with him,” Shepard said. “He was invaluable on the Citadel and has offered his support in the past. I need to touch base with him to make sure that offer still stands. I can tell my crew they have more time to shop around on the Citadel and come back later, if you’d like?”

Shepard could swear the man looked like he had seen a ghost. He wasn’t even that shaken to see her, a dead woman, walk in through his door.

“Are you alright, sir?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah… I’m just processing. Go, meet with Kirrahe. Get us every drop of support you can, Shepard. I’ve got some meetings to attend to, but I’ll be free in a couple of hours,” Anderson said standing on shaky legs.

Shepard turned to leave and Anderson put a hand on her arm to stop her. She turned back around and he pulled her in for another tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, kid,” Anderson whispered in her ear. “All of you, I guess. I’m so sorry.”

 _“Anderson…,”_ Jane sounded wistful.

Shepard patted him on the back and left his office. She couldn’t believe the massive sense of relief she was feeling. Having Anderson know and believe her was huge. Maybe even game-changer-huge. Out in the hall she called up EDI on her mic.

“EDI, can you please inform the crew that I am extending our time on the Citadel by a few hours. Some things have come up that need my attention. I will notify them again when I’m ready to leave. Also, please ask Mordin to meet me at the embassies right away, if he can,” Shepard said.

“Right away, Shepard. Professor Solus says he is headed to you now,” EDI said.

“Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

“Of course, Shepard,” EDI replied.

Shepard made her way down to the embassies and spotted Kirrahe right away. He was flanked by a few of his men, salarians she recognized from Virmire. Shepard wove through the crowd until she stood in front of his team.

“Captain, thank you for meeting with me,” Shepard said.

“Commander Shepard. I had to see you for myself to believe the rumors. It’s Major now. Good to see you,” Kirrahe said.

“My apologies and congratulations on the promotion. I hope you don’t mind but I invited Professor Mordin Solus to join us. He is working with me now and I thought he might be able to help fill you in on what we’re facing. He should be here any moment,” Shepard said.

“Ah! Mordin Solus! It will be good to see him again. He served under me for a time. Oh, look, I see him now,” Kirrahe pointed.

Shepard turned her head and saw Mordin making his way through the crowd. She smiled when she saw Mordin locate her standing next to Kirrahe and the small flicker of shock crossed his face. Shepard waved him over and Mordin came to stand next to her.

“Kirrahe. Has been many years. Was not aware that you knew Shepard. Good to see you,” Mordin said shaking Kirrahe’s hand before clasping his hands behind his back.

“It is good to see you as well, Solus. You fell out of contact with everyone. We could only speculate that you were still alive,” Kirrahe said.

“Found things to keep occupied. Never best at… communicating,” Mordin said before turning to Shepard. “Shepard, how can I help?”

“I was hoping that you could help me to explain our findings on the collectors to the Major here and his men,” Shepard said.

“Major? Congratulations,” Mordin said.

Kirrahe nodded his thanks.

“I was sent to aid Kirrahe on Virmire and by some miracle was able to convince him of the reaper threat when few others were willing to listen. He offered me his support then, and was able to draw in a few others from STG. They were there on the Citadel that day, helping to fight the geth because of my warnings,” Shepard explained.

“Happy to explain. Perhaps another location? Less noise. Less people,” Mordin said.

Kirrahe and Shepard both agreed with that sentiment and the entire group moved to a small, quiet café outside of the embassies. The place was surprisingly empty considering the vast number of people on the Presidium who frequented the area. Shepard took one drink from a coffee she ordered and understood why. She idly wondered how the place was even still in business.

They sat there for about a half hour while Shepard and Mordin filled Kirrahe and his men in on the abductions of human colonies in the Terminus Systems. Mordin also explained to Kirrahe his belief that the plague on Omega was created by the collectors as an experimental means to learn about other species, perhaps as a precursor to attacking other species more directly. Kirrahe and his men mostly stayed quiet, only occasionally asking a question about specific locations and the numbers taken.

Eventually, the conversation turned to Shepard as she knew it would. That was the other reason why she had invited Mordin. She hoped that his word would carry some credence, helping Kirrahe to trust that she was indeed Shepard still and was still focused on the threat at hand. That she wasn’t lost to the twisted ways of Cerberus. Much to Shepard’s chagrin, Mordin opened up his omni-tool and showed Kirrahe and his men the scans he had taken of Shepard on Omega. They exchanged a few comments using words well beyond Shepard’s understanding before nodding in agreement. She was just happy that they were satisfied.

Kirrahe said that they had to go shortly after that but promised to stay in touch with Shepard. She promised him that she would keep him apprised of any developments and thanked him again for his continued support. Shepard dismissed Mordin who was eager to return to his lab aboard the Normandy. When he was gone, she sat alone in the café staring out the window watching people go by. She shifted her gaze and her eyes caught sight of Thane Krios standing in the middle of the crowd watching her. She started to stand and he disappeared.

“Yeah, that’s not creepy,” she muttered.

Toying with her, she thought. Shepard transferred a more than generous tip to the kiosk on the table and left the café. Just to avoid pissing off the drell and making him decide to snap her neck after all, Shepard turned the opposite way from where she saw him. She had time to kill, so she decided to wander around the Zakera wards for a while.

She stopped in a few shops and used her notoriety to convince them to give her discounts. She didn’t need the discounts, Cerberus was keeping her well-funded, but she was bored and it was something to do. She remembered Jane doing the same thing from time to time. She ruined a krogan’s day by telling him that the lakes on the Presidium did not have any fish in them but then offered to buy him a fish at the gift shop. He said it wasn’t the same and pouted as she left.

 She detoured to come to the rescue of a young quarian being harassed by an asshole volus and a C-Sec officer. Once the officer and volus left, Shepard offered to buy the quarian something to eat. She could tell that the woman’s pride was encouraging her to say no, so Shepard started talking about Tali and Tali’s pilgrimage. She warmed up to Shepard after that and let Shepard take her into the nearest dextro-friendly restaurant. She said her name was Lia'Vael nar Ulnay.

“I can’t believe you helped Rael’Zorah’s daughter with her pilgrimage!” Lia said.

Shepard chuckled, “Well, to be fair, I think she probably did more to help me than I did to help her.”

“Really?” Lia asked.

“Oh yeah, Tali’s information on the geth and the recording she had of Saren and Matriarch Benezia made a world of difference. Without her help, I don’t know if the Council would have ever believed that one of their Spectres had gone rogue,” Shepard said.

Shepard glanced out the window and saw Garrus standing against a wall with his arms crossed watching her. She lifted her hand hesitantly and waved. He pushed away from the wall and walked away without looking back. The devastation she had been feeling anytime Garrus came to mind must have been evident on her face.

“Is everything alright, Commander Shepard?” Lia asked.

Shepard looked back to the young quarian and shook her head, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just, uh, guy trouble. So, have you been on the Citadel for your whole Pilgrimage?”

Lia turned her body to look out the window, trying to catch sight of whoever Shepard had been looking at before turning back to Shepard.

“Mostly, though to be honest I’m not sure what I was thinking by coming here of all places,” Lia said.

“How so?” Shepard asked.

The quarian shrugged and pushed food around on her plate, “You saw the way those two treated me. Most people don’t act much differently. You’re probably the first person in weeks to just sit and have a conversation with me.”

Shepard frowned, “I’m sorry to hear that Lia, have you thought about going somewhere else?”

“I don’t really know where else to go, and every bit of money I have I am trying to save for a ship,” Lia said.

“Well, I tell you what, if you think of someplace else you want to go, let me know. Here’s my extranet address. I’ll take you wherever you want,” Shepard said.

“Oh, but I can’t afford to pay you for transport,” Lia said.

“I’m not asking you to pay me, Lia. I’m constantly going all over the galaxy for my missions and I have to frequently visit the Citadel. It wouldn’t be putting me out at all, I promise,” Shepard said.

“Really? You would do that for me?” Lia asked.

Shepard shrugged, “Sure, why not? I mean, I can’t drop everything to come get you if I’m on the other side of the galaxy so you might end up having to wait until I need to come back to the Citadel to report in or something, and you might have to spend a little time on the Normandy until I can get you where you’re going but either way it shouldn’t be more than a few weeks at most.”

“Wow. That is… I don’t even know what to say. I mean, thank you. I will give it some thought. I can’t believe… thank you, Commander Shepard,” Lia said.

Shepard chuckled, “You’re welcome, Lia.”

Shepard’s omni-tool beeped and she looked to see it was Anderson telling her he was available. She stood up and reached a hand out for the quarian to shake. Lia started to stand, too.

“No, you stay, enjoy your dinner. I insist. It’s already been paid for so no worries. I’ve got a meeting that I have to go to. It was nice meeting you Lia'Vael nar Ulnay. Keep in touch,” Shepard said.

“Oh, I will! Thank you again, Commander Shepard!” Lia said.

Shepard gave the quarian one last wave as she left the restaurant to make her way back to Anderson’s office. She was rounding a corner when she nearly ran right into Garrus.

“Shit! Garrus, sorry… I didn’t know you were there,” Shepard said.

“Was that a new recruit?” Garrus asked.

Shepard took a moment to process his question, surprised not only by his sudden presence but by the fact he was speaking to her when it wasn’t necessary.

“Huh? Oh, uh, no. Just met her. She’s on her Pilgrimage and having a rough time of things. Thought I’d get her something to eat and someone to talk to for a few minutes who sees her as something more than a vagrant,” Shepard said. “So… uh, were you waiting for me? Did you need something or…”

“That drell assassin has been following you,” Garrus said.

Shepard glanced around, “Uh, yeah, I saw him briefly earlier. He let me see him, anyway. Did he talk to you or something?”

“No, but since you seemed fond of following him into dark alleys by yourself I thought I should make sure you knew. It would really blow a hole in this mission if he decided to break your neck,” Garrus said.

“Gods, Garrus and here I was thinking that maybe you actually cared about me for two seconds. Don’t worry about Thane, if he wanted me dead, I’d already be dead. He’s probably just curious,” Shepard said feeling her frustration rising. “You know, since we have to work together on this, do you think that you could at least _try_ to not hate me? It would make both of our lives easier, don’t you think?”

Garrus studied her, his face perfectly still, “I don’t hate you Shepard. I could never hate you. Sometimes I wish I could, it would have made the last two years a lot easier.”

Shepard looked at her feet, “Listen, Garrus, I know I fucked up things with you bad. I put way too much on you, asked for far more from you than I had any right… I know that I can never make that right. I’m trying to you know, respect your space and not push you to talk or whatever. But you got to understand, it’s been two years for you but for me it’s only been a few days since… since I was in your arms and it’s… it’s going to take me some time to adjust.”

She looked up again and saw that he was still watching her with his cold eyes and it made her cringe.

“If you need to yell at me or, hell, if you want to knock me on my ass, I get it. I won’t stop you,” Shepard said.

“Spirits, Shepard. I’m not going to hit you,” Garrus said.

“Why not? I would,” Shepard said.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard’s eyes fluttered closed against the rush of emotion such a simple sound pulled through her heart. Tears started to sting her eyes and she blinked them away. When she focused on him again she thought that his might just look a little softer but a moment later it was gone. She figured it was probably just wishful thinking.

“I uh, I should go. Anderson is waiting for me. He uh, he found some of my failsafe videos and… well he’s had a lot of questions,” Shepard said starting to walk past.

Suddenly Garrus’ hand was closing around her arm, stopping her. It felt like fire on her skin, and her whole body flushed in response. Garrus pulled his hand away quickly.

“Wait, you’re saying Anderson knows about Jane?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah. He does now. He hasn’t told anyone else. Deleted the videos after he watched them. Didn’t want my reputation to be tarnished; his words,” Shepard scoffed. “Of course, I ruined that by showing back up in a Cerberus vessel. At least the Council still decided to reinstate me.”

“Hmmm. So, how is he taking the news?” Garrus asked.

“It could be worse. He believes me, so that’s a huge relief,” Shepard said. “Do you, uh… do you want to come with me? I mean, you know most of this already…”

Garrus tapped a finger against his thigh and clicked his mandibles against his jaw a few times in thought before nodding. Shepard turned and started walking before he could see the smile that was creeping up on her face. It was a start.

Shepard walked into Anderson’s office with Garrus behind her. Anderson looked up from his desk then stood to greet them.

“Shepard, I’m glad you waited around. And you brought, Garrus Vakarian, wasn’t it?” Anderson asked.

“Yes, Councilor,” Garrus responded.

Anderson made a harrumphing sound in his throat, “Please, Anderson is fine. This isn’t a formal meeting and sometimes I like to try and forget that circus for a few minutes.”

Garrus chuckled lightly and Shepard’s heart skipped a beat.

“Please, have a seat make yourselves comfortable. I take it Vakarian here knows what we’re going to be talking about?” Anderson asked Shepard.

“Yeah, I’ve told him more than anyone else before the – before you,” Shepard said.

“I see,” Anderson said retrieving a bottle of amber liquid from a cabinet in his desk. “I got to tell you, Shepard, I’m a little wounded that you never brought this to me.”

Anderson moved across the room to another cabinet and brought back a second bottle and three glasses. He held the bottles up for approval and when Shepard and Garrus both nodded; he poured the three of them a drink, making sure to keep Garrus’ separate.

“C’mon, Anderson. You wouldn’t have had any choice but to send me to see every Alliance shrink on the payroll,” Shepard said.

Anderson grunted. He knew it was the truth, even if he didn’t like it. He handed Garrus a glass before picking up another to hand to Shepard and keeping one for himself. Shepard took a swallow of the bourbon in her glass before nodding in approval.

“So, you were saying that when you regained consciousness, Jane wasn’t making a lot of sense?” Anderson said.

Shepard nodded slowly, “I’m going to backtrack a little, if you don’t mind. I uh, haven’t had the opportunity to fill Garrus in on anything after the Normandy was hit.”

“Sure, I don’t mind,” Anderson said.

Shepard glanced sidelong at Garrus to see he was staring at the drink in his hand. She cleared her throat.

“So, when I was… uh, losing consciousness something changed and suddenly, Jane was just there. I mean like, completely there. I could hear her perfectly, and just remembered everything she lived through. That they all lived through, I guess,” Shepard began shifting in her seat.

She took another swallow of her drink, “She was scared, and said that she could feel everything that I was feeling. She, uh, she said it felt like she was dying, too.”

Shepard saw Garrus finally stop staring at the drink and knocked it back, draining the glass. Anderson leaned forward and pushed the bottle of turian brandy towards Garrus. Garrus muttered a thank you before pouring himself another.

“When I woke up again, Jane was still there but she sounded insane,” Shepard paused when Jane interrupted her.

 _“We’re not insane. You’re insane, this is insane. This whole gods be damned universe is insane,”_ Jane said.

“Commander?” Anderson asked.

“Sorry, she uh, didn’t care for my saying that too much,” Shepard said and killed her drink.

She didn’t wait for Anderson to offer her another; instead she rose to her feet and leaned over the desk to swipe the bottle for herself. Anderson smirked but didn’t say anything.

“So, she was telling me all about how much it hurt, for them to cut me open and do… whatever the hell it was they did to bring me back. She says she was conscious for the whole thing, she felt it all. She just kept saying that it hurt so bad,” Shepard put the cap back on the bottle and set it down where she could reach it again. “’Course, I didn’t actually feel it. I mean, yeah, I was sore when I woke up but I didn’t feel anything when it was happening.”

Shepard sat back down in her chair a few feet from Garrus. His eyes were on her now, she could feel them but she didn’t turn to look at him.

“It’s been a little difficult to concentrate when she’s worked up but she seems to be calming down at least a little. Thing is; now she’s convinced that asking me to change things to break this cycle was a bad idea. She keeps telling me they don’t like the changes and want me to stop,” Shepard took a drink.

 _“It was a bad idea. A terrible idea. Things went sideways. We never should have told you anything. You don’t even see how different things are now. Without Liara, we may never find the plans for the Crucible. The reapers will win, we won’t be able to stop them and everyone will die!”_ Jane said.

“I told her that wasn’t going to happen. I can’t put things back the way they were, and besides for that, I’ve got no interest in repeating this cycle with her and the rest of them,” Shepard said.

“Some things have already been pretty different since I woke up compared to the others. Tali wasn’t on Freedom’s Progress and neither was the other quarian, Veetor. In other times, Veetor would have collected data on the seekers and it would have really helped us to develop an antidote. It’s not going to stop us, of course, but now I have to come up with something else,” Shepard took a long pull from the glass.

“Garrus wasn’t where he normally would be, but that was expected since I tried to warn him of what could happen on Omega,” Shepard’s eyes flicked briefly over to him before looking back at Anderson.

“More importantly, and the most regretfully, Ashley and Liara are… dead,” Shepard knocked back the drink.

 _“They’re dead and it’s your fault! It’s our fault. We never should have told you. We were wrong; we got it all wrong, Dawn. Nothing was supposed to change,”_ Jane said.

“Damn it, this isn’t doing anything. Fucking Cerberus implants,” Shepard poured herself a third drink anyway. “I’ll buy you another bottle. And amazingly the Council isn’t completely disregarding the reapers.”

“They’re not?” Garrus asked.

Anderson shook his head, “Only publicly. Until they can find proof that the reapers are intent on, and capable of leaving dark space to attack us.”

Garrus killed his drink and poured another. Shepard started to pace the room carrying her glass with her; she could feel the eyes of the two men tracking her movements.

“She’s fighting me now. Trying to keep information from me,” Shepard said.

 _“Because you’re ruining everything. Everyone is dying and you broke Garrus. You can’t stop the reapers. They’re still coming, they’re going to kill us all because of you,”_ Jane said.

Garrus chuffed, “That’s… ironic.”

Shepard glanced at him, “And incredibly annoying.”

“Like what?” Anderson asked.

“Well, yesterday on the ship I was trying to think of another way to get Mordin – he’s a salarian scientist on my new team – the information he needs to create a counteragent to the swarms when a name came to mind: James Vega. It was like I could see his face there, for just a second and then Jane was slamming the door closed in my face,” Shepard said.

“I’m sorry, did you say James Vega?” Anderson asked.

“Yeah, you know him?” Shepard stopped pacing.

“I know of him. He’s Alliance. Do you know him?” Anderson asked.

Shepard shrugged, “Not yet. I normally wouldn’t meet him until you post him as a guard while I’m serving time for this whole fiasco.”

“Hmm. You think he’s important somehow?” Anderson asked.

 _“No, no he’s not important. Leave him alone. Just leave everyone alone,”_ Jane said.

“I don’t know. It seems like he must be since he was what came to mind. Jane just yelled at me though, told me I was changing too much and to stay away from him so I didn’t end up killing him, too,” Shepard said running a hand over her face. “She blames me for Ashley and Liara.”

“I’ll pull his files see what I can tell you about him, I’ll have to be discrete, though so it’ll have to wait for now,” Anderson said.

Shepard nodded her head, “Thanks, Anderson.”

“Commander, what can you tell me about what we should be expecting?” Anderson asked.

She resumed her pacing, “Well, the collectors are abducting human colonists to use them as… I don’t know – an ingredient? – In a new form of reaper. It looks like a human.”

 _“No, stop it, you shouldn’t be telling them this! What if you break Anderson, too?”_ Jane said.

“Spirits,” Garrus said quietly.

“Unless I’ve really fucked things up, my team and I will destroy the human-reaper and stop the collectors. I uh… I might have to destroy a relay in batarian space… it’s going to kill off hundreds of thousands,” Shepard said.

 _“Stop it, Dawn. Just shut up. Shut up!”_ Jane yelled frantically.

“What?! Shepard, you can’t go destroying a relay!” Anderson said.

“If I don’t the reapers are going to use that relay to come through and they’ll be on us in days… from when I would normally find out about it anyway. If I do, it buys us more time. Trust me, Anderson, I don’t like the idea and I will try to find another way. Any other way now that I have advanced warning,” Shepard said.

 _“No, you can’t. You have to destroy the relay. It has to be done. It always has to be done,”_ Jane said.

Anderson leaned forward and put his elbows on his desk rubbing his temples with his hands.

“That’s huge, Shepard. A move like that… it could cause a whole other war,” Anderson said.

“I know, Anderson. Gods, I know,” Shepard said.

Garrus knocked back another drink before pouring another and doing the same to the next. How many had he already had? She wasn’t sure, but he was filling the glass pretty full each time. More than half the bottle was gone already. How full was it when Anderson showed it to them? She couldn’t remember. Shepard had never seen him drink so much so quickly but she wasn’t about to tell him to stop. She didn’t think he’d appreciate that in the slightest. She’d make sure he got back to the Normandy when they left.

“After we take down the collectors, I turn the new Normandy and myself over to the Alliance. I’m imprisoned for my actions with Cerberus and the relay. It’s while I’m serving my sentence that the reapers hit,” Shepard stopped pacing.

She suddenly yelled into the room, “Gods damn it Jane, stop this shit!”

Garrus and Anderson both flinched at her sudden outburst. Jane was throwing up walls, fighting to keep Shepard from saying anything else. Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose.

 _“No, no Dawn. This has to stop. You can’t tell them. You can’t change anything else, we won’t let you! Everyone is going to die because of you. This isn’t making things better; it’s making it all worse!”_ Jane said.

“Commander, are you alright?” Anderson asked.

Shepard grimaced; her head was starting to hurt, “I can’t get through. She’s shut me out again. Gods, my head is starting to throb.”

Garrus stood, “Should I call Dr. Chakwas? This isn’t like before, is it?”

Shepard opened her eyes and looked at Garrus. The alcohol was loosening him up a bit it seemed. She caught the slight sway of his body telling her he was definitely drunk. Concern filled his eyes and it made her heart break a little.

“No, I’m alright. I just think that’s all I’m going to be able to tell you guys tonight,” Shepard said.

“Are you sure, Commander? I’m sure Dr. Chakwas wouldn’t mind coming up to check on you here if you want. You shouldn’t push this thing too much. I had no idea that your injuries were so serious before,” Anderson said.

“I’m sure, I’ll be alright. I’ll get her to give me something when I’m back on the ship if I need it. I’ll uh, I’ll be in touch, Anderson,” Shepard said.

Anderson stood and walked Shepard and a wobbly Garrus to the door, “Is he going to make it back alright?”

“Yeah, I got him. We’ll be alright,” Shepard said.

“I’m not that drunk,” Garrus said.

Shepard and Anderson both chuckled.

“Yeah you are, come on let’s get you back to the Normandy,” Shepard said.

When the door to Anderson’s office closed, Shepard tapped her comm, “EDI? Call everyone back to the Normandy, please.”

“Right away, Shepard,” EDI responded.

The lights on the Citadel had dimmed, simulating night. The stars were visible around them as Shepard stayed close behind Garrus to make sure he wasn’t going to fall over or anything. She almost walked right into his back when he abruptly stopped. Shepard stepped around him so she could see his face.

“You alright? You’re not going to puke or anything are you?” Shepard asked.

Try as she might, the drinks she had were having zero effect on her. It would take something a lot stronger to get her drunk these days. Or at least a whole lot more of the usual stuff. Garrus swayed on his feet and chuffed. Her heart raced in response. She saw the iris of his visor constrict.

“Lie to me, Shepard,” Garrus said.

Shepard chuckled, “What? Why?”

“Lie to me. Tell me you don’t love me. That you never did. That everything you said on that damn video was a lie,” his eyes filled with pain.

Shepard swallowed and slowly shook her head, “I can’t do that, Garrus. I’m sorry.”

Cold anger swept back in to fill his voice and eyes, “Of course not.”

Shepard’s eyes filled with tears and she brushed them violently away.

“Come on, let’s get you back to the Normandy so you can sleep this off,” Shepard said turning away.

He put a hand on her shoulder to stop her and she turned back around.

“I don’t want to do this right now, Garrus. Not while you’re this drunk. It’s not fair to either of us,” Shepard said.

He reached a hand out and brushed his fingertips down the side of her face, tracing the glowing scars that were etched into her skin. More tears forced their way out of her eyes. Shepard gently pulled his hand away from her face; this was killing her all over again.

“I thought I was supposed to be the one with the scars?” Garrus asked swaying again.

“You changed that, on Omega. Whatever you did differently… well, you avoided a rocket to the face. Lucky you, right?” Shepard said.

“Lucky? No, Shepard. I wasn’t lucky. There was nothing lucky for me these last two years. Just loneliness, and death, and anger. Lots of alcohol. A few women to take the edge off. They hated me afterwards. All except Sarat,” Garrus said making Shepard wince. “She never got it; there was never anything more there. Not for her. I told her that before anything ever happened. Made sure she knew it could never be anything more. She just never got it. Now she’s dead, too.”

“I’m sorry, Garrus. I hope you know that. I hope you know that the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you,” Shepard said.

“But you did, Dawn,” Garrus said.

Shepard’s head dropped to look at her feet and to hide the tears in her eyes. He hadn’t called her Dawn since before she died. She felt his hand wrap around the back of her head and a second later his forehead was pressing into hers. Shepard’s shoulders began to shake with suppressed sobs. She put her hands up to hide her face. His other arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her against his chest in an embrace.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, oblivious to the few people still milling about on the Citadel as Shepard pulled herself together. When she started to pull away from Garrus, she heard his low growl and stopped. He buried his face in her neck and hair and pulled in a deep breath. She couldn’t help the heat that flooded her body but she could help keep him from doing something he would obviously regret when he sobered up.

Shepard put her hands against his chest and gently pushed him away, “Garrus, stop.”

He resisted at first, breathing in deeply again and she could swear she heard him whimper.

“Garrus, you don’t want to do this. Not really. It’s the alcohol talking. Come on, let’s get you back to the Normandy,” Shepard said pushing him a little harder.

He stopped fighting her and let her pull away. She could see an almost feral hunger in his eyes. She had no doubt he was probably seeing the same in her own.

“Spirits,” he grumbled before shuffling his feet forward towards the Normandy’s docks. 


	5. Chapter 4: It’s A Good Plan

**Chapter 4: It’s A Good Plan**

            Shepard lay in her bed tossing and turning. She fought with the sheets that insisted on wrapping themselves around her in the most uncomfortable way possible. Her heart was telling her to go find Garrus, to drag his drunken ass back to her bed; the rest would work itself out later. Maybe that was her body talking. Her head told them both to shut up, that it was a stupid idea to try to fix things with him in any shape while he was intoxicated.

            She tried to distract herself by prying at the walls that Jane was still so stubbornly holding in place. She wasn’t getting anywhere with it besides giving herself another headache. Shepard sighed and flopped over onto her stomach. Shepard growled her frustration out at the room and rolled back over; grabbing a pillow she flung it across the room.

            “Commander Shepard, do you require assistance?” EDI’s voice asked.

            “I envy you, EDI,” Shepard said.

            “Why is that, Shepard?” EDI asked.

            “Because, you don’t need to sleep or worry about bad dreams. You don’t need to struggle to keep your eyes open after a long, sleepless night leaves you exhausted,” Shepard said.

            “Dr. Chakwas has medications that can help you sleep, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard groaned and rubbed her face. “Yeah, but they’ll leave me groggy the next day. And it makes it harder to wake up if there is an emergency.”

            “I see. My databases suggest that there are herbal supplements that can be ingested that help to induce sleep without undesired side effects. I can put in a requisition for you if you like,” EDI said.

            “Sure, EDI. Why not?” Shepard said.

            “Very well, Shepard. Your order has been placed,” EDI said.

            “Thanks, EDI,” said Shepard.

            “Is there anything else that I can do for you, Shepard?” EDI asked.

            “No. I think I’ll just get up and wander the ship for a while. That usually helps,” Shepard said.

            “Logging you out, Shepard,” said EDI.

            Shepard got out of bed and retrieved the pillow she threw before rummaging around in her footlocker. She grabbed a plain black tank top, one of the few things she had that didn’t have a Cerberus logo on it and a pair of pajama bottoms. She pulled the clothes on before wrapping a robe around herself and leaving the cabin with bare feet. She called for the elevator and leaned against the wall until the doors opened.

She took the elevator down to the CIC and glanced around at the skeleton crew. They were all Cerberus. Men and women she didn’t know anything about. She had tried talking to a couple of them before, but none of them seemed interested in idle chit chat with Cerberus’ walking Lazarus Project. They were just here to do their jobs. Shepard made her way towards the cockpit and was surprised to see Joker still sitting in the pilot’s chair. She started to sit down in the co-pilot’s seat next to him when she realized he was asleep. She smiled and took her robe off, draping it over him like a blanket and turned back towards the CIC.

            She called the elevator again and took it down another level. Rounding the corner, she spotted Grundan Krul sitting at one of the tables in the mess hall. Shepard wasn’t expecting to find anyone up still. She paused and debated turning back the other way but decided it was as good a time as any to get to know the batarian. She grabbed a mug from the kitchen area and carried it back to the table before pointing at the pot of coffee the Grundan Krul had sitting in front of him.

            “Care if I steal some of that?” Shepard asked.

            The batarian nodded to her and she poured herself a cup. Shepard held the steaming liquid to her mouth to blow across the top of the mug.

            “Shepard, my databases indicate that consuming caffeinated beverages is counterproductive to sleep,” EDI said.

            Shepard chuckled. “Yeah… I know. Thanks, EDI.”

            EDI stayed quiet, no doubt trying to understand human logic.

            “That will take some time getting used to,” Grundan Krul said.

            Shepard slid into the bench across from Grundan Krul. “I’m willing to bet you’re not the only one. So, are you usually up so late?”

            “Still used to late guard duty. Don’t worry though, I’ll adjust in a day or two and I’m ready to go out whenever you need me,” Grundan Krul said.

            Shepard nodded her head and took a sip from her cup. Grundan Krul knew how to make good coffee at least.

            “With coffee like this, I might just keep you on the ship and make that your permanent duty,” Shepard said.

            The batarian chuckled. So, not much for conversation, she thought.

            _“He’s not supposed to be here. He’s supposed to be dead. Why is he alive while Ashley and Liara are dead?”_ Jane asked.

            “It’s not his fault they died, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            _“No, it’s yours,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard winced but didn’t respond. She thought it was her fault too, and it wasn’t something that she would ever forgive herself for. Ever. Liara’s tear streaked face floated up in Shepard’s memories and she had to push the image away before it brought tears to her own eyes.

            “I didn’t think to ask, where’d you decide to settle in at?” Shepard asked.

            Grundan Krul shrugged. “I thought it was best if I stayed out of everyone’s way. Didn’t want to take up the extra space. I’ve mostly stayed in the main battery with Archangel.”

            “I wouldn’t worry about taking up extra space in a ship this size. Have you looked around the ship at all?” Shepard asked.

            “I’ve seen the uneasy looks people give me. I can’t say that I blame them. I know batarians aren’t well liked or well understood,” Grundan Krul said shaking his head slightly.

            Shepard sat her cup down and put her elbows on the table, clasping her hands in front of her face she touched them to her lips.

            “I was a kid when batarian slavers raided Mindoir,” Shepard said softly. “Watched them brutally kill my family, kidnap by friends… it was rough. I’m not going to lie and say that it doesn’t still haunt my dreams from time to time. Hell, I won’t even tell you that batarians don’t still make me a little nervous.”

            _“Don’t… why would you tell him that?”_ Jane asked.

Shepard put her hands flat on the table, gauging the lack of expression on Grundan Krul’s face.

 With conviction, she continued, “But I’m smart enough to know that the actions of a few assholes don’t define an entire race. I plan to give you the chance to prove yourself, and I’ll damn well make sure no one questions that.”

            Grundan Krul’s four black eyes moved back and forth watching Shepard. She returned his gaze, focusing on the lower, larger eyes. Grundan Krul took a drink from his mug before speaking.

            “I appreciate the opportunity,” Grundan Krul said.

            Shepard lifted her cup to her mouth. “Sure. I figure if Garrus had you on his team, you have to be worth something.”

            Grundan Krul chuckled. They sat in silence for a few more minutes while Shepard finished her coffee. She didn’t really know what else to say to the batarian and he didn’t seem to be in the mood to tell her his life story so she left him to his silence. She washed her cup out at the sink and glanced towards the cryogenic sleep pods. She wondered if Garrus was in one of them or if he had passed out in the main battery room. She wasn’t going to let herself go look.

            Instead, Shepard headed back up to her cabin and stripped her clothes off once more. She turned off the lights and used the glow from the fish tank to find her way to her bed. Her thoughts sobered by the uncomfortable conversation with Grundan Krul, Shepard found it easier to fall asleep.

            She dreamt of the horrors of Mindoir.

            The next morning Shepard woke early, even after having such a hard time falling asleep the night before. She showered and made her way to the mess hall where Mess Sergeant Gardner dished her up something that looked like oatmeal… sort of. Shepard raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t considered breakfast foods when she ordered food from the markets on the Citadel. Shepard sighed before setting the mug of coffee on the tray next to the bowl of maybe-oatmeal and fresh fruit. She carried it over to the table that no one else was sitting at and slid into the bench.

            Shepard looked up when a sleeping pod opened and Garrus stepped out. He saw her when he was half way down the hall and hesitated before heading past her and back beyond the elevator. He didn’t look quite so angry today, at least not yet. A few minutes later he passed by her again and disappeared into the main battery. Shepard let out a sigh and turned her attention back to her pseudo-food. She really missed her diet of dry rations and protein bars.

            Shepard gave up on the oatmeal – yeah, it was oatmeal, and finished off the bowl of mixed fruits. She drained her cup of coffee and was just about to get up to clear her tray when she heard someone clear their throat. Shepard looked up to see Kasumi materialize before her eyes as she dropped her Tactical Cloak.

            “Good morning, Kasumi,” Shepard said.

            “Are you going to finish that?” Kasumi asked.

            Shepard glanced down at the bowl of half-eaten oatmeal and raised her eyebrow. “Seriously? It’s all yours.”

            Kasumi slid into the seat across from Shepard and lifted the bowl from her tray. Shepard watched in fascination as the tiny woman dug into the oatmeal with gusto, not even bothering to get a new spoon.

            Kasumi used the spoon to point to the bowl. “This is really good. It’s just like my grandma used to make it.”

            “Really?” Shepard asked.

            “Oh yes. I gave Gardner the recipe last night. He’s really quite fascinating, have you talked to him much?” Kasumi asked.

            “Just enough to learn that he’s responsible for cleaning the toilets and making the food,” Shepard said.

            Kasumi giggled. “Don’t be dramatic, Shepard. We all get our hands dirty from time to time. That’s what soap is for.”

            “Fair enough, so what did you learn about Gardner?” Shepard asked.

            Kasumi seemed to think about the question before answering, “Mostly that he comes up with the most unique swear words I’ve ever heard. But also that he had a family. I don’t think he likes the idea of Grundan Krul being aboard the Normandy.”

            “Ah. I’ll uh, I’ll make a point to talk to him soon. Thanks, Kasumi,” Shepard said.

            “Sure. So, I saw you and the drunk turian stumble in late last night. Something there, Shepard?” Kasumi asked.

            Shepard winced.

            “The turian wasn’t that drunk,” Garrus said walking up to their table with a tray.

            “Ha! You were definitely drunk,” Kasumi said.

            Shepard schooled the smile that was threatening to break free. Garrus ignored Kasumi’s retort and looked at Shepard.

            “Is it alright if I sit with you?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard’s jaw dropped. “Yeah. Of course.”

            Garrus sat down across from Shepard a couple of feet from Kasumi. Kasumi sat the empty bowl back on Shepard’s tray, looking back and forth between Shepard and Garrus with a grin.

            “I’ll be going now!” she said activating her Tactical Cloak.

            A few seconds later Garrus looked at the seemingly empty spot.

            “I thought you said you were going away?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard heard Kasumi sigh, “Is no one on this ship any fun?”

            “Goodbye, Kasumi,” Shepard said.

            “See you later, Shepard!” Kasumi said.

            Once they were both certain Kasumi had actually left, Garrus slowly started to eat. Shepard watched him curiously waiting to see if he was going to talk. She wondered if he was going to say anything about his behavior the night before. She would follow his lead, she was just glad he seemed to be making the effort to not dodge her and look at her like he wanted to spit in her face every time he saw her.

            “So, hmmm. Where are we headed?” Garrus asked.

            “Turian prison ship called Purgatory,” Shepard said picking at the Cerberus logo on her mug.

            Garrus stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth and asked, “You’re serious?”

            “Yeah, the Illusive Man worked out a deal for the release of an inmate into our custody,” Shepard said raising an eyebrow in question.

            Garrus put his fork down on his plate. “Shepard, that place is full of some of the worst criminals in the galaxy.”

            Shepard’s lip twitched at his chastising tone. She opened her omni-tool and accessed the program Anderson gave her; as soon as it was activated it started beeping. Shepard frowned.

            “What’s that?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard bent her arm so he could see her omni-tool screen. His eyes glanced over the screen and his mandibles snapped closed. She closed the program so it wouldn’t beep incessantly and draw attention.

            “I know, but the prisoner we’re picking up is supposed to be the most powerful human biotic alive. Can’t pass up someone like that,” Shepard said, Jane’s memories of Jack flitting across her consciousness.

            “What makes you think we can trust a convict? This person has to be there for a reason,” Garrus said.

            “Undoubtedly Jack is there for a very good reason. Even still, we need the help,” Shepard said.

            She knew what Garrus was really asking her; he was asking if this was something she already knew about thanks to Jane. Shepard nodded her head slightly, just enough for the turian to pick up.

            “We’re not far. I figured I’d take Grundan Krul with me; see what he’s like on a mission. Maybe Mordin as well,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard, maybe I should go with you on this one. You know, since you’ll be dealing with turian politics,” Garrus said.

            Shepard narrowed her eyes. She knew Purgatory was privately owned and operated. She was willing to bet Garrus did, too.

            “I doubt there will be any issue with turian politics, Garrus. Besides, after last night, I figured you’d want the day off,” Shepard said.

            Garrus mandibles fluttered lightly, “Still, if you’re taking Grundan Krul with you, it might be best. I don’t know yet if he’ll adjust to following someone else’ command.”

            Shepard drew her thumb across her jawline and chewed on her lip in thought. She was missing something here. Something he couldn’t tell her right now. She scraped her teeth across her lower lip one last time making a sucking sound before she nodded her head.

            “Alright, Garrus. If you’re sure you’re up for it,” Shepard said.

            “I’m always… hmmm. Yeah, I’m fine,” Garrus said.

            Shepard smirked at the awkwardness of his almost word choice. Garrus started eating again and Shepard continued to watch him. She let herself take in the features of his face, a face that she wished so desperately she could reach out and touch again. Before she realized what she was doing, she was lost in memories of what it felt like to have her naked body pressed against his. Her body yearned to feel his teeth nip at her skin and his talons dig into her flesh. She remembered the feel of his arms around her the night before, and the excitement she felt when he breathed in her scent. The memory of the hunger in his eyes pulled at her core.

            Garrus took a hesitant, shallow sniff of the air around him. His fork paused again halfway to his mouth. Slowly he lowered it back down to his plate and kept his eyes downcast.

            “Ah, Shepard?” Garrus said.

            Shepard’s response came low and throaty, “Hmm?”

            “You’re ah… You’re staring,” Garrus said.

            Realization hit Shepard like a ton of bricks; knocking her back into the present and the reality of their situation. Her eyes opened wide and her face turned red.

            “Oh! Gods! Sorry, I uh… I should go,” Shepard stood up and gathered her tray before quickly retreating from the table.

            _“He doesn’t want us anymore,”_ Jane said sorrowfully. _“We needed him. Always need him. We can’t do any of this without him. What if he leaves us? Oh gods, he’s going to leave us, isn’t he? He’s going to make us finish this fight without him. What have you done?”_

            She rushed to the elevator, feeling Garrus’ eyes on her until she disappeared from sight. Her heart the stage of an emotional battle she was not prepared to fight so early in the morning. She rammed her thumb against the elevator call button five or six times.

            “So stupid,” Shepard muttered to herself as the sting of rejection and Jane’s words dug into her mind.

            “Commander Shepard, the elevator only requires the call button to be pushed once,” EDI said.

            “I know, EDI,” Shepard said through grit teeth.

            “It seems that many members of the crew are not aware,” EDI said.

            Shepard thought that she might have detected the faintest hint of sarcasm in that. It drew her out of her moment of self-pity and despair. She looked up at the blue hologram.

            “You’ve been working on inflection, I see,” Shepard said with a pained smile.

            The lights on EDI’s hologram moved back and forth more rapidly, “I have. Having a crew to speak with makes it easier to adjust my mannerisms.”

            “And, of course, you spend more time talking to Joker than anyone else,” Shepard said.

            “Flight Lieutenant Moreau is proving to be quite the challenge. He used the mute button on me six times already this morning,” EDI said.

            Shepard chuckled as the elevator opened and stepped inside. She hit the button for her cabin and leaned against the back wall. She took a deep breath in through her nose and tried to let all the hurt go with the exhale.

            “Do you want me to talk to him, EDI?” Shepard asked.

            “No thank you, Shepard. It is important that I learn how to interact with the crew in order to best serve on this ship,” EDI said.

            “Alright, EDI. If he gives you too much trouble, let me know and I’ll go yell at him for you,” Shepard said.

            “That would be an interesting example of human behavior. I am sure I could learn a significant amount from observing such a display,” EDI said.

            Shepard’s laugh echoed in the elevator. “Anytime, EDI.”

            The doors opened and Shepard crossed into her cabin. She sat down at her desk and opened her laptop.

            “Hey, EDI, can you let me know when we’re a half hour from Purgatory?” Shepard asked.

            “I am perfectly capable of doing so,” EDI said.

            “Uh huh, will you do that then, please?” Shepard asked.

            “As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said before closing her interface in Shepard’s cabin.

            Shepard chuckled again before clicking on her inbox. She saw she had another message from Tali along with other messages from various sources. Shepard opened the message from Tali first.

            Shepard: Actually, maybe there is something you can help me with. If you have time. I could use escort to the area around a planet called Elohi in the Micha system of the Vallhallan Threshold. I need to record some data about the approaching asteroid and I am having trouble securing transport. The area is thought to be heavily patrolled by pirates. No one else is willing to take me.

            Shepard snorted before hitting reply.

            Tali: I’m not sure if I should be flattered or offended that you thought of me when no one else was willing to take you into pirate territory. Tell me where to pick you up and I’ll head there after I grab this new recruit.

            Shepard spent twenty minutes sifting through her inbox while Jane showed her memories of Purgatory. She had seen bits and pieces of them it before. Since waking up with Jane so fully present, Shepard had access to all of Jane’s memories – to all of their memories – so long as Jane wasn’t fighting her. It was like remembering anything else though, she had to have a reason to go looking for the memory or have something trigger it in her mind for her to know it was there. As soon as she read Jack’s dossier, the memories had started floating forward.

There were a lot of messages from Cerberus telling her about the different weapons and armors they had available for her use. A couple from the Illusive Man asking her to check into some things for him. Talitha’s name caught her eye. Shepard clicked on the message. She read over the message three times, taking in the details of what the woman was saying.

            Shepard leaned back in her chair and whispered, “Son-of-a-bitch.”

            If she understood what Talitha was saying, then there was a Cerberus doctor working with the woman. That wasn’t good. That couldn’t be good.

            “EDI?” Shepard said.

            The blue hologram came to life, “Yes, Shepard?”

            “Can you track the origin of this message for me, please?” Shepard asked.

            “Right away, Shepard,” said EDI. “The message originated from a facility on the planet Gellix in the Arrae system of the Minos Wasteland.”

            “Gellix. Gellix. Gellix. I know that name. Jane, what’s on Gellix?” Shepard thought as an image of Jacob briefly filled her mind.

            Jane remained stubbornly silent, fighting off Shepard’s attempts to access her memories. Shepard sighed.

            “EDI, what kind of facility? Is it a school or what?” Shepard asked.

            “I have a block that prevents me from answering that question,” EDI said.

            “Damn it,” Shepard whispered. “OK, thanks EDI.”

            “Jane, come on, Talitha is in trouble. Is that a Cerberus facility? What happens to her?” Shepard demanded silently.

            _“You don’t know that she’s in trouble. This is the last we ever remember hearing anything about her. Just leave her alone, Dawn. You’re causing enough problems for everyone else. Leave the poor woman alone,”_ Jane said.

            “Gods damn it, Jane. Quit being such a stubborn bitch and help me! Talitha could be in serious trouble and she wouldn’t even know it! You’re willing to just let her become a Cerberus tool because you can’t get over the fact that you were hurt? Are you fucking kidding me?” Shepard growled inside her head.

            _“It’s not that simple. Everything you do, it changes something. Not just something for us, this isn’t just about saving us anymore, Dawn. You’re changing shit in the whole fucking galaxy! People are dying who weren’t supposed to die. People aren’t where they’re supposed to be; Veetor wasn’t on Freedom’s Progress. And what about Mordin’s assistant Daniel? Where was Daniel? Events have shifted – important events – that led us to where we needed to be to save the galaxy. We wanted you to fix things but you’re only making them worse. Now we aren’t even sure you’ll ever find the plans for the Crucible, might never find the one thing – the one thing! – that can stop the reapers!”_ Jane said.

            “I will fix this, Jane. You have to trust me. I will find a way to fix this. Just please, tell me what’s on Gellix!” Shepard pleaded.

            _“No, it’s not important right now. Only later,”_ Jane said.

            “Fuck!” Shepard roared aloud, slamming her palm against the edge of her desk in frustration.

            “Commander Shepard, defacing Cerberus property is against Cerberus policy,” EDI said.

            Shepard groaned and shook her hand in pain before hiding her face in her hands.

            “Yeah,” Shepard said.

            “We are now thirty galactic standard minutes away from Purgatory,” EDI said.

            “Alright, notify Garrus and Grundan Krul. Tell them to meet me at the airlock when we dock,” Shepard said.

            “Right away, Shepard,” said EDI.

            Shepard strapped on her armor and checked her guns before heading down to the CIC. They were still a few minutes out but Garrus and Grundan Krul were already leaning against the wall next to the galaxy map. Kelly was standing in front of them with her back to the rest of the room when Shepard rounded the corner.

            “I would love to hear more about your work on Omega sometime,” Kelly said.

            The flirtatious, honey-sweet tone of her voice wasn’t lost on Shepard’s ears. She glanced over to see Grundan Krul watching the woman silently. Shepard didn’t think she had seen any sign of any expression on that man’s face since she met him. Batarians weren’t the most expressive people but he was a master at it. She’d hate to play poker with him. Garrus grinned and crossed his arms in front of him.

            “Well, I’m sure we could arrange a sit down sometime,” Garrus said.

            The low flanging of his voice in response to Kelly was just a little too much for Shepard to deal with in that moment. Shepard crossed the few feet between the small group and herself before drawing her pistol. Garrus raised a brow ridge at Shepard; he looked almost amused. Shepard didn’t try to hide the glare plastered to her face. She wasn’t going to try to stand in his way if he wanted to take Kelly to bed but damn it she was not going to stand there and watch the fucking courtship. She made a show of checking the thermal clip before holstering the weapon.

            _“Maybe he’ll stay for her. At least he’d still be here,”_ Jane said.

            “You two ready?” Shepard asked.

            “Sure,” Garrus drawled.

            Grundan Krul nodded at Shepard and turned to follow her as she headed towards the airlock. Garrus lagged behind to tell Kelly goodbye. Shepard felt the Normandy line up with Purgatory and the bridge connect the ships. She waited impatiently at the airlock until it opened. They crossed over onto Purgatory and waited for Purgatory’s doors to seal behind them.

            Shepard opened her omni-tool, glancing down the way towards the turian guard wearing standard Blue Suns armor waiting for them. Shepard tapped a few buttons on her omni-tool before running a hand in front of Garrus. Grundan Krul watched her passively as she did the same to him and then to herself. When nothing beeped, she closed the app.

            “Want to tell me why you wanted in on this one so bad?” Shepard asked Garrus.

            “Not particularly,” Garrus responded.

            Shepard frowned and crossed her arms before asking, “Will it interfere with the mission?”

            “Not unless you plan on freeing all of the prisoners,” Garrus said with a scoff.

            Shepard pursed her lips. Garrus opened his omni-tool and tapped a few buttons. Shepard heard a soft humming sound coming from his omni-tool.

            “Seriously, Shepard?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard glanced over at the guard who suddenly looked extremely agitated.

            “What’s that?” Shepard asked.

            “Noise cancellation. He can’t hear us now. It’s actually incredibly uncomfortable to listen to so let’s make this quick,” Garrus said.

“There could be… complications. I have a plan to try to circumvent them but… better tell me what we’re dealing with, Garrus,” Shepard said.

            “Complications. Right, of course. I forgot for five seconds who I was dealing with,” Garrus said. “Spirits. Nothing is ever easy with you.”

            “No fun in that. Now spill,” Shepard said.

            “There are a few individuals currently imprisoned here that would be particularly unhappy to see my face,” Garrus said.

            Shepard bit the corner of her lip before asking, “A few?”

            Garrus sighed and glanced over at Grundan Krul. The batarian stepped a little closer.

            “Twenty-three,” Grundan Krul said.

            “Well fuck. Damn it, why the hell did you ask to come with me?” Shepard asked.

            She glanced up to see the guard had grown tired of waiting and was now walking towards them.

            Garrus shifted his weight and glared at Shepard before closing the app on his omni-tool. The humming stopped.

            “It doesn’t matter. We’re here now, let’s get this Jack and get out of here,” Garrus said as he turned to face the guard.

            Shepard started walking towards the guard and he stopped his approach, waiting for them to close the distance. The door behind the guard opened and a turian – Warden Kuril, according to Jane – walked out to stand at the top of the stairs behind the guard. When the guard insisted that they hand over their weapons, Shepard glanced over to see what Grundan Krul would do. She was pleased to see that the batarian was looking to her, waiting to follow her lead. She didn’t expect him to be stupid enough to just offer up his weapon when the guard said so, but she was afraid she’d find him looking to Garrus for the answers.

            “Rule number one: We do not relinquish our weapons. Period,” Shepard said with her eyes on Grundan Krul.

            The batarian nodded at Shepard and turned his eyes forward to watch the two turians and the batarian at the top of the stairs. She caught the hint of a grin from Garrus as she turned her head back to watch the warden with a raised brow. The warden stared her down, expecting her to change her mind but that wasn’t happening.

            “Three armed guests are inconsequential. Jack is being taken out of cryo now. I’ll show you to out-processing,” Kuril said.

            The guards stepped out of the way and Shepard climbed to the top of the stairs. The warden led them through a door and into a hall where Shepard could see cryo pods being shuffled around through a window. The warden talked about the security of the facility as he walked. Two men and the floor below were forcefully separated from a fight by stasis generators. Shepard wondered if it was meant to intimidate her with the information. She had seen the memories; she knew the warden was leading Shepard into a trap. He had hopes of capturing and selling her like he sold his prisoners. That wasn’t going to happen. That would never happen.

            Shepard urged the warden along. She had a plan that would hopefully avoid releasing every damn prisoner on this ship, but she wanted to get as far into the ship as she could before she put it into action. When the warden led them through another door Shepard drew her pistol. The second it left her holster, Garrus and Grundan Krul drew theirs. Shepard raised her gun to point at the back of the warden’s head. He was still talking, telling her where out-processing was located when he turned around and saw her gun inches from his face. 

            The warden started to reach for his rifle but Shepard shook her head and he hesitated. Slowly he lifted his empty hands up into the air. There were two guards in the immediate area but they hadn’t looked over yet. She only had a few seconds to make this work.

            “Garrus, disarm him,” Shepard said. “Here’s how this is going to work, Warden. You’re going to tell your men to stand down. You’re going to take me to Jack. You’re going to release Jack and then you’re going to let us back off of this ship without any problems. Are we clear?”

            Garrus took the warden’s weapons and handed them to Grundan Krul. The batarian secured them to the empty slots on his armor while Garrus brought his rifle back up to bear on the warden.

            “This is your plan?” Garrus hissed.

            Shepard grinned. “It’s a good plan.”

            _“It’s a stupid plan,”_ Jane retorted.

            “Shepard, I assure you this isn’t necessary. I –,” Kuril started to say.

            Shepard made tutting sounds at the warden interrupting him before speaking, “Come on now, you and I both know it is quite necessary. So tell me, how much exactly where you hoping to sell me for, Warden?”

            “What?” Garrus snarled.

            Shepard saw Garrus’ finger twitch on his trigger out of her peripheral vision. She heard the growl start low and quiet in his chest, slowly growing louder. The warden was just about to open his mouth to respond, probably with another lie when one of his guards happened to glance up. Shepard kept her eyes glued to the warden while Garrus shifted his focus to the guards that were now running towards them with their weapons raised.

            “Call them off, Warden. No one has to die here today. Think about it, you get to keep your shitty prison ship and all of your inmates except Jack. You fight this, you die and so does everyone who stands between me and Jack,” Shepard said.

            “Stand down!” Kuril yelled loud enough for his men to hear.

            The guards stopped in their tracks and but kept their guns aimed at Shepard’s team.

            “Tell them again, Warden and make sure they believe you,” Shepard said.

            “It’s alright, put your guns down,” Kuril said.

            Hesitantly the men laid their guns down on the floor in front of their feet.

            “Good, now turn around slowly and take us to Jack,” Shepard said.

            The warden did as he was told; leading Shepard past the two stunned guards. Garrus turned to walk backwards as they passed them to ensure they didn’t try to charge after them. The warden turned right and took them down a curved hallway. Another guard stood at that door and he raised his gun to point at Shepard as soon as he saw the warden at gunpoint.

            “Gun on the ground. Now,” Grundan Krul said.

            _“This isn’t going to work. You’re changing things for no reason, now. You know he never would have gotten us. There’s no point to this,”_ Jane said.

            “There is if it keeps these psychos locked up. Especially if some of them will be gunning for Garrus,” Shepard thought.

            The turian hesitated looking to the warden and then back at Grundan Krul. He bent and placed his rifle on the floor before backing away from the door with his hands raised. When the door opened, there were turian and batarian guards waiting inside with their weapons already raised. They didn’t wait for orders before firing. Shepard ducked behind the door frame pulling the warden with her. Grundan Krul took up the spot opposite from her. Garrus flattened himself against the wall sandwiching the warden between himself and Shepard. The turian that was outside the door scooped his rifle back up and was met with the butt of Garrus’ rifle to his face. It knocked him out cold.

            “Keep the warden alive, we need him to let Jack out,” Shepard said. “Tell your men to stand down, Warden!”

            “Stand down! Stand down!” Kuril yelled.

            His guards didn’t listen.

            “Damn it! Incapacitate where possible,” Shepard ordered before ducking in to take out a batarian’s knee.

            Grundan Krul used a Neural Shock on an advancing turian, dropping him to the ground. Garrus warned her that guards were moving down the hall towards them.

            “Damn it. Kill the ones inside and get the warden in there, quick!” Shepard ordered.

            Shepard used a biotic Charge to slam into the nearest batarian, knocking him back before firing a bullet into his head. She spun around in time to see Grundan Krul take down a turian that was advancing on her. Another turian was picking himself up off the floor when Garrus stepped in dragging the warden with him. Garrus shot down the turian before he could reclaim his gun and turned on the two remaining guards in the room. As soon as the warden was clear of the door, Grundan Krul stepped in behind him and closed the door.

            “Lock it,” Shepard said helping Garrus finish off the guards.

            Grundan Krul opened his omni-tool just as Shepard heard the guards arrive outside the door. He had the door locked and was scrambling the signal before the guards were able to get it open from the other side. Shepard pointed to the console and Garrus half escorted half drug the warden over.

            “Turn off the mechs and get Jack out of there, now!” Shepard barked at Kuril.

            The warden ran his hands over the console, issuing operation commands and typing in passcodes. Shepard waited until she saw the machinery downstairs activate and start to pull Jack’s cryo pod up from the docking station before moving to the other door. When everyone was out, she had Grundan Krul lock that one behind them as well. Shepard moved down to ramp to the next door and into the room in time to see Jack open her eyes and rip her hands free from the wrist restraints.

            “Jack?” Shepard said and the heavily tattooed, barely dressed, bald woman’s eyes snapped to Shepard. “Jack, I’m here to help. I’m getting you out of here, OK?”

            Jack’s hands went to her throat to pull apart the metal restraint around her neck. Shepard wasn’t sure if she was coherent enough to hear what she was saying to her or not. She really, really hoped Jack didn’t attack them. Garrus moved into the room behind Shepard, his gun still pointed at the warden. Grundan Krul was right behind him sealing the doors. Jack’s eyes snapped to the warden and she ripped the restraints free. She stumbled forward out of the cryo pod and grabbed a hold of the railing while she regained her equilibrium. Shepard moved cautiously towards the woman, her pistol still out but pointed at the ground. Grundan Krul trained his on the warden to provide support to Garrus.

            Jack’s head whipped up and her eyes settled on Shepard. Shepard stopped in her tracks.

            “Move out of my way,” Jack said.

            Shepard stepped aside and saw Jack’s eyes lock on the warden again. Jack started to pull up biotic energy around her.

            “Get away from the warden. Now!” Shepard yelled at her team.

            “Jack… come on you –,” Kuril started to say.

            Jack was already running straight at the turian. Garrus and Grundan Krul stepped out of the crazed biotic’s way. Jack punched the turian dead in his face backed with all her biotic strength. Warden Kuril flew back and slammed into the metal door, leaving a dent. Jack was on him in seconds, straddling his torso while she pummeled his face again and again and again.

            “Jack, we’ve got to go! We’re going to have to fight our way out,” Shepard said.

            Jack wasn’t listening to Shepard though; she was too busy beating the warden to death. When the warden stopped moving, Jack stood and turned to look at Shepard and her team. Her chest was heaving and her fists were clenched tightly at her sides, her arms arced away from her body in threat. The guards had gotten through the first door above.

            “Who the fuck are you?” Jack asked.

            “My name is Co – Shepard. I need you to hear me out. You’re not going to like what I have to say, but please just let me finish?” Shepard said.

            Jack glanced up towards the observation window and saw the guards trying to force their way through the next door. Her eyes went back to Shepard, floating between her and her teammates.

            “Talk fast,” Jack said.

            “There is a ship docked ready to get you out of here. It’s the only way out of this place. It’s a Cerberus vessel,” Shepard began.

            Jack’s biotic energy flared up around her again and Shepard held up a hand.

            “Wait, listen! I know what they did to you, Jack. OK? I know. And I swear as soon as we’re on that ship I will give you whatever files you want. You can look through every damn database I have access too. Names? Dates? Places? You got it. I’ll even help you blow the damn place up,” Shepard said.

            Jack licked her lips and flicked her eyes back and forth between Shepard’s crew and the armed guards that were now piling through the second door.

            “You’re Cerberus. Why should I believe you?” Jack asked.

            _“She’s going to kill you, idiot,”_ Jane said.

            “I’m not – gods damn it – I’m not Cerberus! Why does everyone always jump right to that? I fucking hate Cerberus,” Shepard started to rant.

            “Hmmm. Shepard, maybe now is not the best time,” Garrus said watching Jack like a hawk.

            “I’m working with Cerberus temporarily,” Shepard shrugged. “Well mostly just taking their resources and looking for ways to fuck them over while I figure out how to take down the collectors.”

            “What the hell are you talking about?” Jack snapped.

            “The collectors have been abducting human colonies. The Council won’t do anything because it’s happening in the Terminus Systems. Same with the Alliance. Cerberus has no such political restrictions. I’m putting together a team to put an end to it, and I need your help,” Shepard said.

            She could hear the guards working to unlock the door behind Jack and the dead warden now. Jack glanced back over her shoulder towards the door and licked her lips.

            “Why me?” Jack asked. “What do you want with me?”

            Shepard laughed, “Come on, Jack. We both know you’re the baddest biotic bitch around.”

            Jack looked back and Shepard and a slow smile started to pull at her lips.

            “You’re fucking crazy. I like that. Alright, let’s get the fuck off of this ship,” Jack said.

            The door opened up behind Jack and she spun around, releasing the biotic energy she had pulled up around her in a Shockwave. The guards at the door were all knocked backwards into each other and the wall behind them. Shepard and her team open fired while Jack moved back from the door.

            “Jack, get a gun,” Shepard said nodding towards the pile of corpses.

            “Hell yeah,” Jack said digging around until she had a pistol and a shotgun.

            “Joker?” Shepard activated the mic in her helmet. “Get ready, we’re coming out hot.”

            “Aye, aye, Commander,” Joker replied. “Just like old times.”

            Shepard was glad that Jane didn’t choose that moment to fight her. She relied on Jane’s memories and followed the path of destruction normally left by Jack to get them back to the Normandy. Without the prisoners free and rioting throughout the ship and the warden’s commanding influence, the guards were more scattered and easier to subdue. Jack was wild as she tore through everyone who got in her way. She wasn’t discriminating and wasn’t listening to command. Shepard understood her desperation to get off the ship and knew that it would take time for Jack to learn to respect Shepard’s authority in battle.

She’d worry about that later. Right then she was only worried about getting them all off the ship alive. Shepard insisted that they leave as many alive as possible so that there was someone left to keep the prisoners in check. At least Garrus and Grundan Krul were listening to her. Shepard groaned when she realized someone was smart enough to get the mechs back online.

She was crouched down behind a metal barricade taking shots at the YMIR that was firing rockets at her location. Grundan Krul was standing behind another just ahead of her using his tech to keep the YMIR off balance. Jack was using her biotics to pull FENRIS mechs into the air while Garrus shot at them. The YMIR exploded and the last FENRIS crashed back to the ground. Shepard peered around the room before giving the all clear.

Shepard jogged to the next door and waited until everyone was close before moving ahead. The short hall turned before ending at another door. Garrus slapped the release and Shepard moved forward.

“I know where I’ve seen you before now,” Jack said.

Shepard glanced over her shoulder at Jack.

“You’re that Alliance chick, the Spectre who released that video about the reapers,” Jack said.

“Yeah,” Shepard said putting her back against a crate and peering around the corner.

“Don’t like the Alliance, either. Heard you died,” Jack said.

“I did. Cerberus put me back together again. Good as new,” Shepard said.

“No shit?” Jack asked.

Shepard signaled for everyone to move forward to the next area of cover. When they were ducked down behind more crates Shepard answered.

“Yeah. Guess they thought the rest of the galaxy would care. Seeing my face again would make them give a damn; enough to take some action,” Shepard said.

Guards entered on the walkways across from them and Shepard started firing. Jack pulled one into the air while finding interesting ways to insult their mother. Grundan Krul fired on the floater while Shepard lit another on fire with her incendiary ammo. When the last one lay bleeding out on the floor in front of Shepard, she applied Medi-gel to his wound before slapping his face to get him to look at her. The turian opened his eyes and groaned.

“The warden’s dead. You need to make sure no one else escapes their pods. I don’t have time to clean up your mess, got it?” Shepard asked.

The turian nodded his head and started dragging himself to his feet as Shepard and her team moved through the last door and back to the Normandy. As soon as they were all on the ship, she yelled towards the cockpit to tell Joker to get them the hell out of there. Joker used the emergency protocols to force the bridge off of the Normandy and the ship took off. Miranda and Jacob were in the CIC waiting for Shepard.

“What exactly was the problem, Shepard? Cerberus paid for Jack’s release,” Miranda said taking in the blood soaked armor Shepard was wearing.

“You fucking _bought_ me?!” Jack demanded.

“Well, technically I demanded your release at gunpoint. Cerberus was stupid enough to actually pay for you,” Shepard said.

Jack glared at Shepard and leaned against the wall.

Miranda frowned, “Commander Shepard, what happened?”

“Uhhh… the warden thought he could make more money by keeping Jack and capturing me, too? What, was I supposed to let that happen?” Shepard asked.

“You can’t be serious? He was going to try to double-cross Cerberus? The Illusive Man will not be pleased with this,” Miranda said.

Shepard shrugged, “Well, he’s dead now so I’d call it a win.”

Miranda scoffed. Jacob stepped forward and extended a hand towards Jack.

“So, you must be Jack. I’m Jacob Taylor,” Jacob said.

Jack looked at the hand like it was diseased until Jacob dropped it back to his side.

“Don’t touch me; you or the cheerleader. Just give me the files and show me where I can set up. Some place dark and quiet at the bottom,” Jack said.

“Files?” Miranda asked.

“Yeah. I told Jack she can have access to Cerberus files,” Shepard said.

“Commander, you can’t be –,” Miranda started.

“I can and I am. Give her whatever she needs. If the Illusive Man doesn’t like it, it’s on me,” Shepard said.

Miranda shook her head in dismay, “Very well, Commander Shepard.”

Jack gloated as she followed Miranda to her office. Shepard couldn’t help but to smirk as she turned back to Garrus and Grundan Krul who were still standing with her.

“Good work, gentlemen. Thanks,” Shepard said.

Grundan Krul nodded and walked off towards the elevator. Garrus stayed put, his eyes searching for something in her face.

“Something wrong?” Shepard asked.

“He was going to sell you. Did he have a buyer lined up?” Garrus asked.

Shepard shrugged, “He was going to _try_ , and I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“Shepard, this could be serious. If he had a buyer lined up, they might try another way to get their hands on you,” Garrus said crossing his arms.

 _“Never happened before,”_ Jane offered.

Shepard frowned, “What do you want me to do, Garrus? You want me to tell Joker to take us back so we can kill everyone on Purgatory and search through their records?”

Garrus didn’t respond but she could see the seriousness in his eyes.

“Oh, gods. You do, don’t you?” Shepard said slowly.

“I’ll be in the main battery if you need me, Shepard,” Garrus said walking away.

“Garrus, wait!” Shepard said.

He stopped but didn’t turn around. Shepard closed the distance so she could see his face. The cold mask of anger was firmly back in place, making her heart sink.

“I’ll see if maybe EDI can search their records or something, OK?” Shepard said.

“And if you find that he had a buyer lined up?” Garrus asked.

“I don’t know. If it’s something worth dealing with, we will,” Shepard said, her forehead creasing. “I don’t… I don’t understand why –.”

Garrus started walking again and went straight for the elevator.

“Damn it,” Shepard grumbled under her breath.


	6. Chapter 5: The Prophecies of Shepard

**Chapter 5: The Prophecies of Shepard**

            “An auction?” Garrus repeated.                                        

            “Apparently so. Looks like he had a few interested parties. The Shadow Broker among them. EDI found correspondences between Kuril and an information agent of the Broker’s. The Broker was trying to bypass the auction and make a direct agreement on a price,” Shepard said.

            Garrus scratched at his mandible with a gloved talon before asking, “Who were the others?”

            “No one I immediately recognize. I’ll have EDI forward you the list if you want,” Shepard said.

            “Yeah. I’ll see what I can find out,” Garrus said.

            They were standing in the main battery with Grundan Krul. This was the first time Shepard had stepped foot in this room since she brought the two of them aboard. The space was crowded for the two men to share, but they seemed to do so with efficiency.

            “Is there something I can do to help?” Grundan Krul asked.

            “You could look at the list with Garrus. Maybe you’ll recognize a name?” Shepard suggested.

            Grundan Krul nodded in agreement.

            “Alright, well I wanted to check in with some of the others. Let me know if you guys find anything,” Shepard said glancing at Garrus.

            “Of course,” Garrus said.

            Shepard left the main battery and stopped by Miranda’s office. When she walked in she was immediately hit with the reminder that Miranda’s office was where Shepard’s cabin once stood. The lay out was different and it was distinctly Miranda’s space now and not Shepard’s, but it still stirred memories in the back of Shepard’s mind. Miranda looked up from her desk at Shepard; surprise danced across her features.

            “Commander Shepard, is there something I can do for you?” Miranda asked.

            Shepard shrugged, “Just thought I’d stop by and see how you’re doing.”

            Miranda leaned back, “You want to know how I’m doing? I must admit, Commander, I find that surprising.”

            _“We don’t want to be in here. Don’t want to be with her,”_ Jane said.

            “We have to work with her, Jane. I won’t stay long, I promise,” Shepard thought.

            “Come on Miranda, you spent two years learning everything you could about me, right? Don’t tell me that there wasn’t anything in those files telling you that I like to know my team,” Shepard said.

            “I wasn’t aware you actually consider me to be a part of your team, Commander. It seems more to me that I’m someone you tolerate because you must,” Miranda said.

            _“She doesn’t even want us to be here, let’s go, please!”_ Jane said.

            Shepard winced, “I admit it is difficult at times. We’re two very different people, and Cerberus hasn’t done much to give me warm feelings inside.”

“Jane, keep it together for me, OK? Just for a few minutes,” Shepard thought.

            “Cerberus invested massive amounts of time and resources to bring you back to life, Commander,” Miranda said.

            _“By cutting us open from head to toe. Scraping away our burnt flesh into little petri dishes. Drilling holes into us. Attaching machines and pumping us full of chemicals,”_ Jane said.

            “Cerberus didn’t do that for me. That wasn’t a favor that was the worst kind of draft any soldier has ever had,” Shepard said.

            Miranda watched her in silence, her legs crossed and swiveling gently in her chair. She stood up and walked towards the back of the room to where she had some chairs set up by a window.

            “Alright, Commander. What would you like to know?” Miranda asked gesturing at the chairs.

            Shepard followed her and sat down in one of the chairs, instinctively choosing one that would let her keep an eye on the door. Miranda sat across from her, settling into the leather cushion she clasped her hands over her abdomen and crossed her long legs.

            Shepard scratched at one of the scars on her face and Miranda frowned. Shepard stopped and dropped her hand.

            “I don’t know, Miranda. Just tell me about you. Where are you from? What do you do in your spare time? You know, just talk,” Shepard said.

            Miranda sat silently, her penetrating blue eyes weighing out Shepard’s words. Shepard had only met a few people in her life whose gaze could make her want to squirm. She was both in awe and a little disturbed that Miranda was one of them. After a few minutes of silence, Shepard raised an eyebrow.

            “Why don’t you tell me what it is that you already know about me, Commander?” Miranda said.

            Jane’s memories began flooding Shepard’s mind at the prompt. Shepard gently shoved them away so she could focus on the conversation.

            “Uh, well I know that you’re name is Miranda Lawson and that you work for Cerberus. You led the Lazarus Project and spent two years rebuilding me. I know that you’re an excellent biotic and you know how to hold your own in combat,” Shepard said with a shrug.

            Miranda stayed silent. After a minute had passed, she stood up and crossed to her desk. Shepard’s eyes followed her as Miranda picked up her laptop and brought it back to the chair she had been sitting in. Shepard watched with curiosity while Miranda dug through files on her computer without saying a word. She turned her laptop to face Shepard.

            There was a still image of Shepard, heavily burned and nearly unrecognizable even to herself on the laptop’s screen. Jane began twisting, squirming in Shepard’s mind. Shepard glanced at Miranda in confusion. Miranda reached around and pressed a button on the keyboard.

            _“No, no, no. I don’t want to see this. Gods don’t make me watch this,”_ Jane said frantically.

            The image began to move and audio started playing. Shepard watched as her burned, cracked, and oozing lips began to move. Her mouth dried out when she realized what it was that she was saying, and who exactly it was speaking through her mouth. Jane started to repeat one word over and over, a simple ‘no’ to bounce around in Shepard’s mind.

            “… and then we’ll have to help her get her sister to safety. Niket will be there trying to convince her to take Oriana back to her father… Oh gods, it hurts. The reapers are coming and no one is listening… Zaeed is going to want us to let all those people burn just so he can have his revenge… Kaidan died and it was all our fault… why does it hurt so much… changed too much… Saren would have let the reapers in; he would have ended civilization completely… Wilson is working for the Shadow Broker, he’s going to try to kill us again… oh I feel like I’m on fire…,” Shepard’s voice said on the video.

            _“NO!”_ Jane yelled.

            “Stop,” Shepard said.

            Miranda reached around to stop the recording. Her eyes fixed on Shepard but Shepard’s eyes remained locked on the still image of her shattered and burned body.

            “Who else has seen this?” Shepard asked barely above a whisper.

            “No one else alive. Yet,” Miranda said.

            _“I didn’t know, we didn’t mean to. Oh gods, she knows, she knows. They’re going to put us back on the slab. She knows. Miranda is going to cut us open again; dig around inside our head. Oh gods, oh gods,”_ Jane’s voice was full of panic.

            Shepard could feel her heart rate rising. She didn’t know if it was responding to Jane, or her own fear. Shepard raised her eyes to meet Miranda’s gaze with a cold stare of her own. Could she trust Miranda? Was it too soon for that?

            “You haven’t showed this to the Illusive Man? Jacob? No one else?” Shepard demanded.

            Miranda shook her head, “Wilson was the only other person around to hear you. He’s dead now, obviously. I considered sharing these tapes with the Illusive Man but chose to wait. I needed to see you on your feet again. I couldn’t risk the Illusive Man terminating the Project or changing anything about it until I had the chance to ask you how you know about Oriana.”

            Miranda sat the laptop down on a small table between the two women. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands together in front of her. She watched Shepard closely in that cold and calculating way that Miranda was so good at.

            _“Kill her! We have to kill her. We can’t let anyone else know,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

            “I was tempted to sabotage the Project and kill you, for even uttering her name, Commander. So, I urge you to explain yourself. I’ve waited long enough. Clearly, you have recovered from your injuries and are capable of understanding the gravity of the situation. I want answers,” Miranda said.

            “Are you threatening me, Miranda?” Shepard asked with a raised brow, her fists clenching.

            “If necessary, yes. I spent a lot of time working on you, so I would hate to see that all be for nothing, of course,” Miranda said bluntly.

            _“What are you doing? Kill her! You can’t let her put us back on that slab. Do it, do it now while she’s alone. Hurry!”_ Jane said.

            Shepard leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, fingers digging into the fabric of her shirt itching to wrap themselves around Miranda’s throat. The two women sat in silence staring at one another. Finally Shepard cleared her throat.

            “I doubt I have the answers you want. I’m sure it’s nothing as nefarious as you’re probably thinking,” Shepard shrugged, doing her best to make the answer she was giving seem simple yet true. “I think it’s a side of effect of the prothean beacon. Ever since I accessed it on Eden Prime, I’ve gotten strange visions of things to come.”

            “The beacon?” Miranda asked clearly doubtful.

            “Yeah. It warned me about the reapers. Showed me what happened to the protheans. Since then I’ve just known things. Not everything, of course, but people, place, events that are all tied in to my stopping the reapers,” Shepard said.

            Miranda leaned back, “How is that even possible?”

            “Not a clue,” Shepard said.

            “Who else knows about this? Did you inform the Council? The Alliance?” Miranda asked.

            “The Council has never believed anything I say. You know how the responded when I tried to tell them about the visions the beacon gave me about the reapers. They all but laughed in my face. Why would I try to tell them anything else? There’s one person in the Alliance who knows, someone I trust with my life. Most of my old crew knows. The people I was closest too, who I needed to trust me and to be able to trust with anything… and now you. The question is, what are you going to do with this information?” Shepard asked.

            “This information needs to be passed on to the Illusive Man. He’ll want to –,” Miranda began.

            “No,” Shepard said.

            “Commander, I know that you have your misgivings about Cerberus but –,” Miranda began.

            “No, Miranda. No one else gets told about this or I’m done. Period. I know that you think that Cerberus is noble in its quest to better humanity and I don’t know if that is simple ignorance of what Cerberus has done or if you’re just willing to turn a blind eye out of misplaced gratitude for what the Illusive Man has done for you personally,” Shepard leaned forward in her chair as she spoke, her voice rising. “Either way, this is my life, damn it and I know that if Cerberus finds out about this they will find a way to get me locked up in a room somewhere while they run experiments on me and try to figure out a way to harness this for their own purposes. I won’t let that happen, Miranda. I will do everything – and I mean everything in my power to prevent that from every happening. So can I trust you or not?”

            _“Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods,”_ Jane said.

            Miranda crossed her hands over her abdomen and tapped a finger of her right hand against her left.

            “Very well, Commander. I will keep this to myself. For now. I will, however, keep the Prophecies of Shepard. If what you say is true, then there is information too valuable to be ignored. There are things in there that Cerberus does need to know, but they don’t need to know where the information came from,” Miranda said.

            “The Prophecies of Shepard? Really?” Shepard said with an exasperated sigh. “Send me the videos, Miranda. I need to know exactly what was said before you tell Cerberus anything. Just give me that. There may be something there that would do more harm than good if Cerberus found out about.”

            Miranda stood and picked up her laptop before walking back to her desk. Shepard followed her and watched as she sat down and collected the files preparing to send them to Shepard.

            _“Just kill her, please just kill her,”_ Jane said.

            “No, damn it. I’m not going to kill her over this. It isn’t her fault,” Shepard thought.

            “Wait. Don’t send them to my Cerberus account. I know it’s monitored. And this whole ship is bugged. Are you sure your computer isn’t monitored? What about your cabin?” Shepard asked.

            “I’m positive, Commander. Where do you want me to send them to, then?” Miranda asked.

            Shepard thought about it for a moment, she considered having them sent to Anderson or maybe to Garrus’ private account but she wasn’t sure she wanted to involve either of them in this. She wasn’t sure she wanted them to see the videos of her in that shape.

            “Do you have an OSD drive?” Shepard asked.

            Miranda dug around in a drawer before producing a small OSD and plugged it into her computer. She moved some files off of the drive before transferring the videos. When it was done, she ejected the drive and held it out to Shepard. Shepard reached for the drive but Miranda didn’t let go right away.

            “Do not make me regret this, Commander,” Miranda warned.

            She released the drive and Shepard tucked it into her pocket.

            “Thank you, Miranda,” Shepard said as she turned towards the door.

            “Commander, wait,” Miranda said.

            Shepard turned back to face the other woman. Miranda leaned back in her chair, resting her clasped hands on her stomach.

            “About Oriana… and Niket… you’re sure that Niket is working for my father?” Miranda asked.

            Shepard shook her head slowly, “I’m sorry, Miranda.”

            “No, don’t be. It’s better that I know now,” Miranda said before turning her attention back to her computer.

            Shepard left Miranda’s office and went to the elevator. She pushed the call button before reaching into her pocket to fiddle with the OSD while she waited for the elevator to arrive. Jane’s panicked voice was starting to abate. When the doors slid open Shepard stepped on to the elevator and turned to see Garrus coming. She held a hand out to stop the door from closing. He hesitated only briefly before stepping into the confined space with Shepard. She moved her hand and the doors slid closed. As they had every other time they’d been in the elevator together since she found him on Omega, Garrus stood pressed into one corner and she the other. Jane soothed herself with quiet whispers in the back of Shepard’s mind.

            Neither of them spoke as the elevator started to move. Shepard was lost in thoughts of the OSD in her pocket and dreading what all Jane might have said while Shepard was out. The elevator came to an abrupt stop a few seconds later. Shepard glanced up at the doors but they stayed closed.

            “EDI?” Shepard said.

            “Yes, Shepard?” EDI said.

            “Why’d the elevator stop?” Shepard asked.

            “That would be my fault, Commander,” Joker’s voice came in over the comm.

            “What do you mean? Fix it!” Shepard said.

            “Uhhh, no,” Joker said.

            “What?!” Shepard said raising her voice.

            “Not until you two talk things out. Everyone on the ship is tired of your bullshit. Figure it out,” Joker said.

            Shepard glanced over at the mortified looking turian who had somehow found a way to wedge himself even deeper in the corner.

            “Joker! Damn it this isn’t funny!” Shepard yelled.

            “Kasumi thinks it is,” Joker said and Kasumi giggled in the background.

            “Joker, this isn’t your business. Fix the elevator,” Garrus said.

            “So I won’t listen. Talk,” Joker said.

            “Gods damn it, Joker! When I get out of here I’m breaking both of your legs!” Shepard yelled.

            “EDI, can you fix this?” Garrus asked.

            “I can, Mr. Vakarian,” EDI replied.

            The elevator remained motionless. Shepard sighed.

            “She’s been spending too much time with Joker. You need to ask her directly if she _will_. She’s being a smartass,” Shepard said.

            “OK… EDI, _will_ you fix this?” Garrus asked.

            “I will not,” EDI said.

            “EDI!” Shepard whined.

            “Yes, Shepard?” EDI asked.

            “EDI, fix the damn elevator,” Shepard said.

            “As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said.

            The elevator started to move again but abruptly stopped after a couple of feet.

            “EDI?” Shepard said.

            “Yes, Shepard?” EDI said.

            “I thought you were fixing the elevator?” Shepard asked.

            “I did. Flight Lieutenant Moreau resumed manual control,” EDI said.

            Shepard groaned and hit her head against the wall. Garrus moved over to the control panel and opened his omni-tool. Shepard perked up to watch him work. After a few moments he chuffed and dropped his arm.

            “It’s no use, not with Joker sitting up there flipping the switch every time I reset it,” Garrus said.

            “I’m going to break his fingers, too,” Shepard grumbled sliding down the wall of the elevator.

            Garrus moved back over to his corner and closed his omni-tool before studying his feet. Shepard tilted her head up and looked at the emergency hatch. A grin spread across her face and she stood.

            “Lift me up,” she said.

            “What?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard pointed to the hatch above Garrus’ head. He glanced up and nodded, lacing his fingers together for her to use as a foothold. Shepard put a hand on his shoulder and stepped into the palms of his hands. He helped to raise her up the few extra inches that she needed.

            “Aw, come on. That’s cheating,” Joker said over the comm.

            “Screw you, Joker,” Shepard said as her fingers deftly opened the hatch and pushed it out of the way.

            The elevator suddenly moved again, causing Shepard to lose her balance. She started to fall but Garrus’ arms wrapped around her and caught her letting her slide to her feet. The elevator stopped again. Shepard was pressed against Garrus, her shirt had been pushed upwards leaving her bare stomach to press against his armor. Her heart was racing in response. She cleared her throat and stepped back before running her hands down the front of her shirt, pushing it back into place.

            “Joker! I could have cracked my head open on the wall, you ass!” Shepard said.

            “You would have lived,” Joker said.

            Garrus and Shepard both growled at the comm.

            “Alright, try again?” Shepard asked Garrus.

            He got back into position beneath the hatch and laced his fingers, hoisting her up towards the hatch. Shepard was ready when the elevator started again and kept herself steady. The elevator stopped once more. She grabbed the lip of the hatch and started pulling herself up while Garrus pushed. Shepard made her way to the roof of the elevator and glanced around until she spotted the emergency ladder. She grabbed it and made sure it was secure before dropping the collapsible ladder down the hatch for Garrus. Shepard stepped back while Garrus made his way up. He pulled the ladder up behind him and secured the hatch.

            “I’m going to shoot him,” Garrus said.

            His visor provided more light than the dim emergency lights that lined the elevator shaft. Still, it was dark enough that she couldn’t make his features out clearly. He could probably see her just fine.

            “No, Garrus. You can’t shoot Joker,” Shepard said.

            “Why not? I can use a concussive shot,” Garrus said.

            “Yeah, and probably shatter every bone in his body,” Shepard said maneuvering around Garrus to get to the ladder built into the side of the shaft.

            “Hmmm. You’re right. Probably not a good idea to put the pilot in a full body cast,” Garrus said.

            Shepard laughed as she made her way up the shaft. Her heart fluttered when she heard Garrus laugh in response, the sound echoing around her.

            “How did he not think of the hatch?” Garrus asked.

            She could feel him moving up the ladder a few rungs below her.

            “He probably did; probably just hoped _we_ would be more cooperative… or too upset to think of the hatch,” Shepard said.

            “He has met us, right?” Garrus asked his voice heavy with sarcasm.

            Shepard chuckled, “Shepard and Vakarian, saviors of the galaxy defeated by an asshole pilot, a smartass AI, and an elevator.”

            Garrus chuckled again and Shepard’s smiled widened.

            “I’m at the door,” Shepard said sticking her leg through one of the rungs and wedging her ankle back through another to brace herself.

Heat crept through her when she felt Garrus put a hand against her thigh to help keep her in place. She wedged her fingers into the small gap, pushing and prying until the doors slid apart enough for her to shove her hands in deeper. Once she had the leverage she needed, she pulled the doors until the automatic system kicked in and they slid open the rest of the way. Shepard glanced into the CIC to see that no one was looking at them, yet. She freed her leg and pulled herself up the rest of the way before brushing her hands off. She reached back in to offer Garrus a hand to help him out, he slid his hand into hers and she pulled back. When he was on his feet again, Shepard saw his eyes go to her hand in his. There was the briefest moment of hesitation before he let her hand go. Her heart stomach fluttered with hope.

Garrus started to charge towards the cockpit when Shepard stopped him. He turned to look at her, angry and confused.

“I have an idea,” Shepard said.

Shepard walked over to Kelly standing at her console and tapped the woman on her shoulder. Kelly turned and beamed at Shepard with her toothy smile.

“Commander, is there something I can help you with?” Kelly asked.

“Actually, Kelly, I was hoping you could maybe go talk to Joker. I’m a little worried about him. I think he’s been spending far too much time looking at indecent pictures and videos on the extranet,” Shepard said forcing her face into a mask of concern and sincerity. “He’s a very lonely person, what with his Vrolik’s Syndrome and he’s so reclusive. I mean, you probably shouldn’t tell him that, but you know, I think he could use someone to talk too. Maybe you can help convince him to take some time off next shore leave, try and make a connection with real people, ya know?”

“Oh, absolutely, Commander. I’ll go see him right away. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I’m positive I can help Mr. Moreau,” Kelly said with a bright smile before walking towards the cockpit.

Shepard heard a slow, soft clap behind her and turned to see Garrus applauding her with a devious grin on his face and warm humor in his eyes. Shepard smiled and dipped into an exaggerated bow.

“Thank you, thank you,” Shepard said.

Garrus chuckled, “That was perfect. Wish I’d thought of it.”

Shepard soaked in the moment, smiling softly. It must have made Garrus self-conscious though, because the moment passed all too soon and his smile faded.

“Should we, uh, close those doors?” Garrus said turning away from her to face the elevator shaft.

“EDI, please fix the elevator now,” Shepard said.

“Right away, Shepard,” EDI said.

The doors slid closed and Shepard heard the elevator move up. The doors slid open again revealing the elevator. They both watched the elevator with dread, knowing they had to get back on that thing.

“You go first; I doubt he’d try it again but still…” Shepard said.

“Oh, so now you’re not a martyr,” said Garrus.

He stepped into the elevator and turned to look at Shepard. She must have had a pained expression because he put a hand up to stop the door from closing.

“Shepard… I wasn’t serious,” Garrus said.

“You have been more than a little passive aggressive, Garrus,” Shepard said softly.

“Hmmm,” Garrus said before a heavy pause. “Perhaps Joker’s right. We should… talk. Just not here. Someplace else, on our terms.”

Garrus let go of the door and it started to slide closed. Shepard nodded her head as he disappeared from her sight. She didn’t have the chance to let her mind consider this new development because she turned to see Kelly hurrying out of the cockpit carrying something black and white. She made a beeline straight for Shepard. Shepard schooled her features and waited for the yeoman.

“How’d it go?” Shepard asked.

“The problem might be more complex than you realized, Commander,” Kelly said. “I think that Mr. Moreau is having difficulties making connections with other people because of you.”

“Because of me?” Shepard asked.

“Well, yes, Commander. Joker told me about your feelings for him… about your dreams, and confessions of attraction to him before the Normandy crashed. I think watching you die caused him a great deal of guilt. He’s been blaming himself, Commander. He thinks that if maybe he had been more accepting of your feelings, things would have happened differently,” Kelly said.

Shepard’s jaw dropped open. “What? I – I… JOKER!”

Shepard could hear his chuckling all the way from the cockpit.

“He asked me to return this to you. He said you forgot it when you came to see him last night?” Kelly asked handing Shepard the black and white robe she had laid on Joker the night before.

“I – he was asleep, in his chair… he looked cold… this is so not what you think,” Shepard grabbed the robe and turned back to the elevator.

“Commander, I think that it’s important that you talk to someone about your feelings. Ignoring them will only make matters worse for you, and for Mr. Moreau,” Kelly said.

“Thank you, Kelly,” Shepard said ducking into the elevator. “I’ll be sure to do that.”

The elevator doors slid closed and Shepard heard the click of the comm being turned on in the elevator.

“Come on, Commander. Who did you think you were messing with here?” Joker asked smugly.

“Ohhh, it’s on,” Shepard said.

“You know you’ll lose this one, Shepard. Quit while you’re ahead,” Joker said.

“Keep telling yourself that, Joker,” Shepard said.

The elevator opened and Shepard went into her cabin. She plopped down in her desk chair and pulled the OSD out, turning it over and over in her fingertips while gently swiveling the chair back and forth. She sighed and shoved the OSD back in her pocket before opening her laptop. She clicked on her inbox and opened the message from Tali.

Shepard: I can meet you on the asteroid Farlas. There are some ships headed there to mine.

Shepard typed out a quick response to let Tali know that she’d set coordinates for Farlas right away before making her way back down to the CIC. She stepped up to the galaxy map and input the coordinates. It wouldn’t take very long at all to get to Tali so to kill time Shepard decided to stop in and see what Jack had found.

As usual, Jack had claimed the dimly lit storage area beneath the stairs under the engineering room. Shepard rapped on one of the metal supports to get her attention before leaning against it and crossing her arms. Jack was surrounded by datapads spread out around her on the cot and floor. She looked up at Shepard before returning her attention to the datapad in her hand.

“Finding anything?” Shepard asked.

“What do you care? Checking in on your _investment_?” Jack snarled.

“That’s not fair, Jack. It wasn’t my call to pay them for you, I was given a name and a place to pick you up, they had already arranged everything,” Shepard said.

“Whatever,” Jack said.

Shepard sighed and turned to leave.

“Wait,” Jack said.

Shepard glanced back at her with a raised eyebrow. Jack stood up and dropped the datapad to the cot. She moved to lean against the support Shepard had just abandoned and watched Shepard with narrowed eyes.

“You said you knew what they did,” Jack said.

Shepard nodded, “I can’t explain how, so don’t ask.”

“I don’t give a fuck how you know. You said you were going to help me blow the place up. Did you mean that?” Jack asked.

Shepard turned back around completely and crossed her arms before answering, “I did.”

“Why?” Jack asked.

“Because a place like that needs to be blown up,” Shepard said.

Shepard watched Jack as she processed this. Her eyes were drawn to Jack’s full lips and delicate features. Memories of biting those lips, of pulling them into her mouth flooded Shepard’s mind. She remembered times when her hands – their hands, a man’s hands, traced the intricate patterns of the tattoos that covered nearly every inch of Jack’s flesh. When those hands would slide the thin leather straps, crossing over Jack’s torso to barely hide her nipples, away from her breasts. Shepard cleared her throat and pushed the memories away, refocusing on Jack’s face.

Jack had a smirk on her face and Shepard could see the laughter in her eyes.

“Don’t think so, Alliance. I’ve fucked a couple of women but they aren’t really my thing and I don’t _do_ soldiers,” Jack said.

“I’m not trying to sleep with you, Jack,” Shepard said.

“Bullshit. I can see it in your eyes. You think I don’t know it when someone is checking me out. Come in here acting like you give a damn and looking at me like that. Please,” Jack said.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t attracted to you, Jack. I said I wasn’t trying to sleep with you. You’re wrong though, I do give a damn. What Cerberus did to you was a whole new level of fucked up,” Shepard said.

“Whatever,” Jack said pushing away from the wall and turning back to her cot. “I’ll let you know when I have something.”

“So not cool, Jane,” Shepard thought.

 _“You trigged those memories on your own. I can’t help what you already feel,”_ Jane responded.

Jack picked up the datapad and sat back down. Shepard turned and went back up the stairs, making her way into engineering. Gabby and Ken turned to her when the door opened. Shepard silently cursed herself remembering that she forgot to get them the FBA couplings while she was on Omega. She had been so focused on getting Garrus; she didn’t even bother to look around Omega like she normally would have. She didn’t help out that nice quarian boy, Kenn either. She knew she’d have to go back to Omega eventually. The couplings would probably still be there and so would Kenn.

Shepard spent a few minutes talking to Gabby and Ken. It annoyed her a little the way Gabby kept interrupting Ken; cutting him off and trying to control the way he talked to Shepard. Shepard crossed her arms after the third time.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying, Ken? Please do continue,” Shepard said.

“Oh no, Gabby’s right. I do talk too much. I just wanted you to know that you’ve got our support. However we can help,” Ken said.

“Absolutely, Commander,” Gabby agreed.

“Thanks guys, I’m happy to have you aboard,” Shepard said.

“We’re honored to be here, ma’am,” Gabby said.

“Carry on,” Shepard said on her way back out.

Shepard took the elevator back up to the CIC and veered towards the tech labs. Mordin was bent over the table but looked up when Shepard walked in.

“Shepard! Yes, good you are here. Need to run scans,” Mordin said crossing the room to meet her.

“What for?” Shepard asked.

“Studying Cerberus work. Need to see healing progress,” Mordin said.

“Alright,” Shepard said standing still while Mordin ran his omni-tool in front of her.

“We’re making a stop to help out an old friend of mine. Thought you might like to get off the ship for a little while. You want to go out with us?” Shepard asked.

Mordin looked up from his omni-tool and blinked at Shepard.

“Quite content in lab, but happy to go, too. Will give us chance to talk. Cleared lab of Cerberus bugs but could have planted more,” Mordin said.

“Yeah… feel free to clear the whole ship of those,” Shepard said.

Mordin chuckled, “Will displease Miranda.”

“Probably,” Shepard said.

“Will see what I can do,” Mordin said.

Shepard grinned, “Thanks Mordin. We should be nearing our rendezvous point to pick Tali up. We’re taking her to run some scans or something near a planet called Elohi.”

“Elohi, yes. Many scientists studying Elohi now,” Mordin said.

“Oh? Why’s that?” Shepard asked.

“Comet called Asaro headed for Elohi. Equations show high likelihood will be captured by Elohi’s gravitational pull. Become new satellite,” Mordin said.

“Huh. Interesting. Wonder what Tali’s after. Alright, well we should be there soon I’ll let you know when I’m ready for you,” Shepard said.

Shepard left Mordin to go suit up before heading back to the CIC. She asked Kelly to let Garrus and Mordin know to meet her at the shuttle in ten minutes. Shepard made her way to the cockpit to loom over Joker in silence. She was watching the approach to the asteroid that was already surrounded by quarian vessels. She schooled her features when she saw Joker turn to glance up at her out of her peripheral vision. She knew she was making him nervous after the elevator incident. Once Joker was focused back on maneuvering the Normandy closer to the asteroid, Shepard laid a hand on his shoulder and snorted when she felt him jump beneath her touch. She left the cockpit and headed to the shuttle where Garrus and Mordin were waiting.

“What are we doing here?” Garrus asked.

Shepard smiled, “You’ll see.”

Garrus frowned at her and Mordin smiled.

The three of them piled into the shuttle and flew it down to the landing zone the quarians had marked out on the asteroid. When the shuttle landed, Shepard and her team were met with a group of quarians pointing guns at them.

“Your ship reads as Cerberus, what do you want here? You are not welcome,” a male quarian said.

Garrus was reaching for his assault rifle and Shepard signaled him to wait. Mordin stood by passively with his hands clasped behind his back observing the encounter.

“Get out of my way you bosh’tet! I told you they were coming,” Tali’s voice broke through the crowd.

“Is that… Tali?” Garrus said raising his voice over the din.

Tali pushed and shoved her way into view as the other quarians backed off and lowered their weapons. Shepard grinned as the purple and green clad quarian stopped in front of her team and cocked a hip.

“Who else were you expecting?” she quipped.

“Ha! Tali’Zorah well if you aren’t a sight for sore eyes,” Garrus said.

“It is good to see you, too, Garrus. Keelah se’lai… Shepard!” Tali said before hesitantly approaching Shepard.

Shepard opened her arms and Tali quickened her steps to close the distance and embrace Shepard.

“It is so good to see you, Tali,” Shepard said.

Shepard heard Tali sniffle and pulled back to look at her. Of course, she couldn’t see tears behind Tali’s mask but she knew they were there. Shepard pulled her back to her and whispered to the quarian.

“It’s alright, Tali. I’m here. I’m alive. I’m so sorry to put you through all of this,” Shepard said.

A soft keening sound came from Tali. Shepard moved a hand up to cup the back of her head. The other quarians shuffled around nervously until another pushed his way forward. Shepard recognized him as Kal’Reegar and had to remind herself that she didn’t actually know him yet before she called out to him in greeting.

“All of you, get back to work. If Tali’Zorah says she knows these people than that’s all you need to know!” Kal said waving off the other quarians.

Slowly, the others filtered away leaving Kal to stand there watching Tali cry and cling to Shepard. Garrus shifted uncomfortably next to the two women and Mordin busied himself scanning the asteroid. After a few minutes, Tali pulled herself out of the embrace and sniffled again.

“Look at me, crying like a child. I’m sorry. It’s just so good to see you again. And I’m so happy that you and Garrus found each other again!” Tali said.

Shepard averted her eyes.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Tali asked picking up on the gesture.

“It’s nothing, Tali, don’t worry about it. Oh, let me introduce you to Mordin. I didn’t bring any of the Cerberus crew with me; I thought you might be more comfortable with familiar faces… I hope it’s OK that I brought Mordin,” Shepard said leading Tali towards the salarian.

“Thank you, for not bringing Cerberus, I mean. I wasn’t sure how to ask,” Tali said.

Shepard squeezed Tali’s shoulder and said, “You didn’t need to.”

Garrus moved to Tali’s other side as they walked over to where Mordin was crouched down taking samples of the fine dusty surface of the asteroid, scooping it up with a small metal spoon and putting it into vials before corking the vials and securing them in a pouch. Mordin stood and turned to face them when they approached.

“Professor Mordin Solus, meet Tali’Zorah vas Neema. Tali was with Garrus and I on the old Normandy. She is a very dear friend of mine,” Shepard said.

Mordin reached a hand out for Tali to shake and said, “Ah. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise. So, how did Shepard convince you to work with her? You know she likes being shot at, right?” Tali said with a chuckle.

“Hey now, I hear enough of that from Garrus and Joker,” Shepard said.

“You notice she isn’t denying it, though,” Garrus added.

Mordin chuckled, “Have noticed increase in gunfire since joining.”

Shepard threw her hands up in defeat.

“Alright, alright. So, Tali, are you ready to go to Elohi?” Shepard asked.

Tali turned to Shepard and started wringing her hands. Shepard raised an eyebrow waiting for the quarian to speak.

“About that…,” Tali said.

“Yeah?” Shepard asked.

“I lied,” Tali said.

Garrus chuckled.

“OK… well, what’s going on?” Shepard asked.

“I do need your help, I just didn’t want to really say why. You said that your account wasn’t secured and well, I didn’t want to give Cerberus any more information than I had to…,” Tali said her hand wringing become more furious.

Shepard held up a hand, “Tali, it’s OK. I completely understand. You did the right thing. I’m here now though, and we’ll help any way that we can. What’s going on?”

Tali looked over her shoulder back at Kal and waved him over. The quarian marine jogged over to stand at Tali’s side.

“Shepard this is Kal’Reegar, he is one of the Marines that has been assigned as my guard while I am on research missions for the Fleet,” Tali said.

Shepard held her hand out to Kal who shook it firmly before returning to parade rest.

“Tali’Zorah has spoken highly of you,” Kal said.

Shepard smiled, “Well that’s a relief. I’m sure there were plenty of embarrassing stories she could have told you.”

Tali giggled, “You mean like the time when I found you making out with Garrus in the mess hall?”

Shepard and Garrus both winced.

“OK, that’s it. Something is definitely wrong!” Tali said in exasperation.

“Garrus and I… we aren’t… things have changed, Tali. We’re still figuring out how to work together again in light of… everything,” Shepard said.

“You two aren’t together anymore?” Tali asked shocked.

Garrus shuffled his feet and looked off into the distance. Shepard rubbed at the back of her armored neck out of habit.

“It’s… complicated,” Shepard finally said.

“What’s complicated about it? You two love each other; he lost you for two years. You two should be together!” Tali insisted.

“It wasn’t my choice, Tali, alright. Can we just talk about this later? In private, maybe?” Shepard asked.

“Oh! Keelah, I’m sorry. Yes, of course,” Tali said her voice heavy with embarrassment.

“Thanks,” Shepard said.

“So, uh, Kal and I found something… I’m not really sure how to tell you. I thought maybe it might be best to just show you,” Tali said.

“OK, well, where is it?” Shepard asked.

“Alchera,” Tali said.

“What?” Garrus said turning back to look at Tali.

“Alchera… it’s where the –,” Tali began.

“I know where it is – what it is…,” Garrus said.

Shepard crossed her arms, “OK.”

“OK?!” Garrus asked looking at her like she was insane.

“I’ve been asked to go there anyway. The Alliance wants me to choose a site for a monument. It’s already on the Normandy, in the hangar. They loaded it up when we were on the Citadel,” Shepard said.

“And you don’t mind going back there?” Garrus asked.

“Of course I do, but maybe it’s something I need to do. If you don’t want to though…” Shepard shrugged. “I mean I understand you can stay on the Normandy.”

Garrus frowned at her and resumed his study of the landscape.

“Perhaps best to discuss mission parameters before boarding Cerberus vessel,” Mordin suggested.

“Mordin’s right. Tali tell me everything you can now. Once we get back on that ship, you’ll have to watch what you say,” Shepard said.

Tali glanced at Kal who then stepped forward.

“While digging through the crash site, we encountered a geth. It was alone, and seemed to be searching for something. We fired on it but the geth did not return fire. Instead it called out to Tali, calling her by name and requested that she cease fire. I wasn’t keen to listen, but Tali here told me to cease fire,” Kal said.

“Legion…,” Shepard said.

 _“No, it’s too soon. You’re not supposed to find him like this,”_ Jane said.

“Things have changed, Jane. You’re going to have to adapt,” Shepard thought.

 _“Adapt… how can we adapt?! Everything we know has changed. We have no way of knowing what’s going to happen. None. We’ve always known. Always, and now things are changing and we don’t know how disastrous this will be,”_ Jane said.

“What?” Tali asked.

“Oh, um… this was… expected,” Shepard said.

“Expected? Oh! Oh, I see,” Tali said.

“Where is the geth now?” Shepard asked.

Tali begun wringing her wrists, “Well, uh, I talked to it briefly and then… I tied it up and left it there.”

“You tied him up?” Shepard asked with amusement.

“It didn’t even try to fight me. It was incredibly weird, Shepard. It knew who I was. It said he recognized me from transmissions as being a part of your team. Shepard… it said it was looking for you. To help against the reapers,” Tali said. “Well, it called them ‘the old machines.’”

Shepard stared at Tali dumfounded.

“You’re telling me that you, Tali’Zorah actually stopped firing on a geth and had a conversation with him before tying him up and leaving him alive and alone on Alchera?” Shepard asked.

“It, Shepard. It’s a geth, it’s not a person. It is a machine that is responsible for the exile of my people! Trust me, I wanted nothing more than to shoot it until it stopped moving but it knew me! It _knew_ me and it _knew_ you!” Tali said emphatically. “I thought you might want to question it or something. I couldn’t bring it with me though, so I didn’t know what else to do… and it had a piece of your old armor patched into its platform.”

Shepard nodded, “I’m glad you didn’t kill him, Tali. He’s going to be incredibly useful.”

“It,” Tali said.

“We’ll have to disagree on that one, Tali. So, are you two coming with us to Alchera then?” Shepard asked.

“If that is alright with you,” Tali said.

“Absolutely. Tali’Zorah you are always welcome aboard any ship of mine, and any friend of yours is a friend of mine. Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to convince you to stay?” Shepard said.

“I don’t know, Shepard. I have responsibilities to the Fleet now…,” Tali said.

Shepard nodded, “So I see. So, what were you doing on Alchera? If it’s something you can tell me anyway?”

“Oh, that wasn’t for the Fleet so much as for me… I just needed to see everything. To say goodbye to everyone that was lost. To remind myself that you were real and... to remember your promise,” Tali said.

“Tali… how long ago did you leave the geth on Alchera?” Shepard asked suddenly concerned.

“About six months ago,” Tali said.

“Gods… how can you be sure he’s even still there?” Shepard asked.

“It said it would wait, if that was my wish. I told it that it was and that I was going to find you and tell you about it,” Tali said.

“It was the strangest thing, ma’am. I’ve never seen a geth behave that way,” Kal said.

“I’m sorry, Shepard. I told Kal about Cerberus taking you to… do whatever they did,” Tali said gesturing at Shepard. “I had to explain to him why I was leaving the geth the way that I was.”

“I have to admit I wasn’t entirely convinced until she said you were on your way here,” Kal said.

Shepard shrugged, “That’s alright. Did you guys tell anyone else about this? About the geth, I mean,” Shepard asked.

“No ma’am. I thought that we should but Tali asked me not to, so I promised I wouldn’t,” Kal said.

“Alright. How long do you need before you’re ready to head out?” Shepard asked.

“Shepard, we’re quarian. We’re always ready,” Tali said.

Shepard chuckled, “Right. Let’s go.”

“Shepard, need to talk before returning to ship,” Mordin said keeping pace with Shepard.

“I’m listening,” Shepard said.

“Noticed anomalies in scans. Need to research purposes of implants. Need access to Cerberus files,” Mordin said.

 _“Anomalies? What anomalies? There’s never been anomalies before,”_ Jane said.

Shepard stopped and looked at Mordin, “What kind of anomalies?”

“Too soon to tell. Want to see Cerberus files. Will inform you of conclusions,” Mordin said.

Shepard nodded slowly, “Alright. I’ll make sure you get the files.”

When they arrived back at the shuttle they piled in. Garrus was up front with his long legs, the two quarians and the salarian in the back. Shepard flew the shuttle back to the Normandy and Joker lowered the hangar door to let them in. She landed the shuttle and waited for the pressure to equalize before climbing out.

“Tali, I’ve uh… got some calibrations to do. Come see me in the main battery if you get the chance,” Garrus said walking backwards to the door.

“Oh. Of course, have fun… uh, calibrating,” Tali said waving at Garrus.

“Should return to lab. Will be ready if you need me,” Mordin said following Garrus.

“Thanks, Mordin,” Shepard said.

“Is that Tali?” Joker’s voice came over the comm.

“Joker?” Tali asked.

“Ha! Would you look at that, just like old times. Hey Tali, you have to check out my new baby!” Joker said.

“He means the ship,” Shepard whispered when Tali paused.

Tali laughed, “Sure, I’ll have Shepard give us the tour.”

A nearby access point activated and EDI’s blue hologram popped up, “Commander Shepard, you have messages marked urgent waiting for you.”

“EDI, since when do you do Kelly’s job?” Shepard asked.

“Since Yeoman Chambers is preoccupied trying to convince Flight Lieutenant Moreau that he needs to discuss his childhood with her in order to adequately address why he apparently has difficulties connecting with people,” EDI said.

Shepard’s laughter echoed off the walls of the hangar before she saw the way Tali and Kal were staring at the hologram. She sobered up immediately.

“Thank you, EDI,” Shepard said.

“Shepard! Is that an AI?” Tali gasped.

“Tali… EDI is an important part of this operation. Please, try to play nice,” Shepard said.

“An AI, Shepard? Are you insane?” Tali asked.

Shepard winced.

“Keelah, I’m sorry. That was a poor choice of words but Shepard, you’ve fought the geth. You know what they did to my people. How can you allow that thing on your ship?” Tali asked.

“Tali, I’m sorry but I don’t share your views that all AI’s are bad. And I believe that EDI is a person not a thing. I trust EDI,” Shepard said.

“Thank you, Shepard,” EDI said softly.

“Keelah…,” Tali said.

“EDI, this is Tali’Zorah and Kal’Reegar. They’ll be staying with us for a little while. Please notify the crew,” Shepard said.

“At once, Shepard. Welcome aboard Ms. Zorah and Mr. Reegar. I will notify Mess Sergeant Gardner that we have two more requiring dextro-based meals. If there is anything that I can do for you, there are access nodes spread out through the ship,” EDI said.

Tali stared at the hologram. Shepard could only imagine the look of horror that must be on her face. Kal was quicker to recover.

“Ahh, thank you, EDI,” Kal said.

Tali scoffed.

“OK… so let’s give you two the tour, shall we?” Shepard said.

“Sure,” Tali said.

Shepard led them throughout the ship and introduced them to people as she went along. She avoided taking them down to see Jack because she didn’t think Jack would appreciate the intrusion and said as much when she indicated the stairs leading to Jack. Tali was very excited to see the drive core and spent some time chatting amicably with Gabby and Ken before allowing herself to be led to Kasumi’s quarters. Shepard wasn’t at all surprised when Kasumi and Tali hit it off. Nor was she surprised when Kasumi insisted on finishing the tour so she could continue to talk to Tali. Zaeed was as gruff as expected but seemed to recognize the warrior in Kal. Shepard anticipated an exchange of war stories between the two men in the near future.

“Tali’Zorah!” Dr. Chakwas said when they walked into the med bay. “What a pleasant surprise!”

“Dr. Chakwas! I didn’t know you were with Shepard, too. It’s so good to see you,” Tali said.

“Indeed. I couldn’t let the Commander have all the fun. Are you joining us?” Dr. Chakwas said.

“I’m just here for a little while. Shepard is taking me to look into something,” Tali said.

“I see. Well that’s a shame. We would love to have you join us. Maybe you’ll change your mind? And who is this you have with you?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

“Oh, Dr. Chakwas this is Kal’Reegar. Kal this is Dr. Chakwas she was on the old Normandy as well. She’s amazing. She knows everything about treating a sick quarian,” Tali said.

“Well, I hardly think I know everything but I do make it a point to learn all that I can about every species,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“She’s just being modest. Dr. Chakwas is the best,” Shepard said.

Kal chuckled, “Well, hopefully I don’t have the opportunity to test that out myself.”

“Indeed,” Dr. Chakwas said with a warm smile.

“Alright, well we’re making the rounds. Giving them the tour. We’ll see you later,” Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas nodded and watched as the three of them left the med bay. Shepard took them over to Miranda’s office and knocked on the door.

“This isn’t your room anymore?” Tali asked.

“Nah, I have something much better. I’ll show you later,” Shepard said.

“Come in,” Miranda’s voice said over the door’s comm.

Shepard opened the door and entered with Tali and Kal behind her.

“Miranda, I’d like you to meet Tali’Zorah and Kal’Reegar. I’m taking them with me to Alchera to place the monument. Tali was on my team before,” Shepard said.

Miranda stood and walked around her desk to shake hands with Tali and Kal. Shepard was a little surprised by the action but pleased to see it nevertheless.

“Yes, EDI notified me. I recall hearing about Ms. Zorah,” Miranda said.

“Please, just call me Tali,” said Tali.

“Very well, Tali. And Kal was it?” Miranda asked looking at the marine.

“Yes, ma’am,” Kal said standing at parade rest.

“We’ll uh, let you get back to work, Miranda. I still need to make other introductions,” Shepard said.

“Thank you, Commander,” Miranda said returning to her desk.

“Oh, uh, Mordin would like to see your records from the Lazarus Project. Please see that he gets them,” Shepard said.

Miranda’s jaw tightened, “Very well, Commander.”

“She’s with them?” Tali asked after the door was closed behind them.

“Yeah,” Shepard said.

Tali nodded. Shepard stopped to introduce them to Gardner before heading towards the main battery. Garrus was keeping himself preoccupied at a console, presumably calibrating but smiled at Tali when they walked in. Shepard hurriedly introduced them to Grundan Krul before retreating from the main battery before Tali could say anything awkward about her and Garrus.

In the CIC, the quarians were immediately set upon by an enthusiastic Kelly.

“Hello! I’m Yeoman Kelly Chambers. I am so pleased to meet you both. Please, if there is anything that I can do to make your stay more comfortable, don’t hesitate to ask!” Kelly said.

“Oh, um, thank you Kelly,” Tali said.

Shepard led them in to meet Jacob, apparently interrupting his exercise routine. Kasumi watched in delight until Jacob realized they were standing there. He hoped up from the floor and pulled his shirt back on before rubbing the back of his neck.

“Sorry, Commander. I didn’t hear you guys come in,” Jacob said.

“Oh don’t apologize. In fact, feel free to continue,” Kasumi said.

Tali chuckled but it clearly made Jacob uncomfortable.

“Right, uh this is Tali’Zorah and Kal’Reegar. Just wanted to introduce them to everyone. We’ll uh, let you get back to your crunches,” Shepard said.

Shepard grabbed the back of Kasumi’s shirt and pulled her out of the armory. Jacob waved at Tali and Kal as they went. When the door closed, Tali and Kasumi burst into fits of laughter.

“He’s cute, for a human,” Tali said.

“Yeah. Too bad he’s with Cerberus. Still, I might be able to work around that,” Kasumi said.

The two women giggled together all the way up to the cockpit. Kal and Shepard both shook their heads at the two women’s antics. Shepard was surprised when Joker pulled himself out of his chair to be able to greet Tali face to face and shake hands with Kal. Shepard smiled as Joker and Tali dived right into comparing the Normandy SR-2 to the old SSV Normandy SR-1.

“I’ll leave you guys to chat. I’m going to go put in the coordinates for Alchera and then head to my cabin. Stop by later, just take the elevator all the way up,” Shepard said patting Tali on the back.

Tali barely seemed to realize Shepard was talking to her she was so engrossed in discussing the ships. Kal seemed content to just be near Tali. She wondered if Tali realized the marine had a thing for her. Shepard left them to talk and went to the galaxy map before heading to her cabin.

She slid into her desk chair and opened her laptop. There was a message marked as urgent from Anderson.

Shepard: I have some answers for you. How soon can you get to the Citadel?

She let Anderson know that she was on her way to Alchera to place the monument and that she might need to stop in the Vallhallan Threshold afterwards to take Tali back to her people but that she would head to the Citadel right after.

Shepard: Good to hear you’re back in the game. Arrange a time with Anderson and I’ll meet you on the Citadel.

Shepard responded to Hackett relaying the information she had just sent Anderson before opening a message from Lia, the quarian she had met on the Citadel.

Commander Shepard: I have given your offer some thought and I think that I would like to take you up on it, if the offer still stands. I’m still not really sure where I want to go, but I know that I don’t want to be on the Citadel anymore.

Lia: The offer absolutely still stands. I’ll be headed to the Citadel soon. If you’re in trouble, go see Councilor Anderson and tell him that Commander Shepard sent you. I’ll see you soon.

“Shepard, Ms. Zorah and Mr. Reegar have entered your floor as their destination in the elevator. Should I allow them to enter?” EDI asked.

“Yes, EDI, thank you,” Shepard said.

A few moments later Shepard’s cabin door slid open and Tali walked in followed by Kal. Shepard heard Kal let out a low whistle as she stood from her desk.

“Shepard, this is amazing. Definitely nicer than your old cabin!” Tali said. “What, no fish?”

Tali was standing in front of the empty aquarium glancing around looking for occupants.

“No, fish seem to always die on me,” Shepard said.

“That’s because you have to feed them, Shepard. You barely remember to feed yourself,” Tali said.

Shepard chuckled, “Fair enough. Come, sit down.”

Shepard decided to take control of the conversation before Tali could bring up Garrus.

“I met a young quarian on the Citadel, a Lia’Vael nar Ulnay. She’s having a rough time there,” Shepard said.

“I don’t know her. Is she on her Pilgrimage?” Tali asked.

“Oh she knows you, though. She was a little star-struck when I mentioned your name,” Shepard laughed. “Yeah she’s on her Pilgrimage.”

“She knows who I am?” Tali asked.

“Of course she does, Tali, every quarian knows your name and everything you helped to accomplish on the Citadel,” Kal said.

Shepard smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Well, I – I mean, I didn’t do that much. Really, it was all Shepard,” Tali said.

“Aw, now you know that’s not true, Tali. It was a team effort and you were a valuable part of that team. You helped save a lot of lives, you should be proud of that,” Shepard said.

Tali squirmed under the praise and opted to change the subject. “So, this Lia, you said she’s having a rough time?”

“Yeah. Seems like the Citadel has gotten even more unfriendly towards quarians. I told her I would take her somewhere else if she wanted. She just messaged me in fact, said she’d take me up on the offer,” Shepard said pointing her thumb back over her shoulder towards her desk.

“That is very kind of you, Shepard. Where are you taking her?” Tali asked.

Shepard shrugged, “Don’t know. She said she wasn’t sure where she wanted to go but didn’t want to stay on the Citadel anymore.”

“Oh. I hope she’s alright,” Tali said wringing her wrists.

“You can come with me, if you want, Tali. I know you have responsibilities now but I mean if you want to check on Lia before getting back to your duties,” Shepard said.

“Maybe. I don’t know, Shepard. I’ll think about it,” Tali said.

“Alright. So, what about you Kal. How’d you end up assigned to Tali here?” Shepard asked.

“I asked for the assignment when I learned they were placing a guard on her,” Kal said.

“What? Kal, you never told me that. Why did you ask to be on my guard? I thought it must be a boring assignment for you,” Tali said turning to look at Kal.

Kal shrugged self-consciously, “It’s like the Commander just said: You’re more important than you realize. It’s been an honor, ma’am.”

“I told you, stop calling me ma’am! You’re making me feel old,” Tali said.

“Hey! I get called ma’am all the time. Are you saying I’m old?” Shepard asked.

Tali chuckled, “Well you are already in your thirties.”

“Ouch! How old are you, Kal?” Shepard asked.

“Thirty, ma’am,” Kal said.

“Oh! Kal, I didn’t mean… I was just… it was just…,” Tali said clearly flustered.

Kal laughed, “It’s alright, ma’am. I may not know as much about humans as you but I understand teasing a comrade when I see it.”

Shepard grinned and leaned back, draping her arm across the back of the couch.

“You did that on purpose!” Tali said.

“Did what, Tali? I’m too old to keep track of these things,” Shepard said.

Kal laughed with Shepard while Tali made an adorable attempt at a growling noise. Shepard dug out a bottle of turian brandy she got on her last trip to the Citadel, hoping to surprise Garrus with a peace offering. That was before she realized just how much alcohol the turian would put away given the chance and thought better of giving it to him. As she put a straw in Tali’s glass, Jane’s memories of talking to a drunk Tali in the port observation bar. She chuckled to herself as she heard the echo of Tali’s slurred speech insisting that the straw was an ‘emergency induction port’.

The three of them stayed up late into the night, laughing and telling old stories. It was nice, Shepard had forgotten what it was like to simply relax and enjoy herself. At some point Shepard looked over and realized Tali had passed out on the couch. She had put away more than her fair share of the turian brandy and was three sheets to the wind. Shepard stood up and started to scoop Tali up from the couch when Kal stood. He had been drinking as well, but not nearly as much.

“Here, let me do that,” Kal said.

Shepard stepped aside and Kal gently picked Tali up from the couch, cradling her against him.

“Where should I take her?” Kal said.

Shepard glanced over at her bed, “I don’t want to risk waking her and the sleeping pods are two floors down. Just put her on my bed.”

Kal moved over to the bed and Shepard followed him, pulling back the blankets for him and then covering Tali up once she was settled in place. Shepard watched Kal as he lingered, staring down at Tali’s unconscious form.

“I uh, I can sleep on the couch if you want to stay with her,” Shepard said quietly.

“Oh no, I don’t think that would be appropriate, ma’am,” Kal said.

“You care about her, don’t you?” Shepard asked.

Kal turned to look at Shepard. She couldn’t see his face behind the mask but she could tell he was weighing her words, trying to decide if she meant them the way he thought. Shepard offered him a gentle smile.

“Yes. I suppose I do, ma’am. I don’t think she feels the same, though,” Kal said.

“Have you asked her?” Shepard asked.

Kal rubbed at the back of his neck, “I can’t say that I have.”

“Maybe you should, sometime. At the very least tell her how you feel. You never know when that chance might be taken from you,” Shepard said.

“I suppose you’re right. I’ll think about it. You said the sleeping pods were two floors down?” Kal asked.

Shepard nodded, “Or… I could make the couch up for you if you’d be more comfortable. All things considered.”

“You’d be comfortable with that, ma’am? I wouldn’t want to impose,” Kal said.

Shepard smiled, “It’s perfectly fine by me.”

Shepard retrieved some extra blankets and a pillow from a cabinet and made the couch up for Kal before digging in her foot locker and pulling out some pajamas. Well, what she called pajamas when she had to wear something to bed. She went into the bathroom to change and when she came out, Kal was already settled on the couch. She turned out the lights and crawled into the bed next to Tali.

The next morning, Shepard woke to Tali’s groans. She rolled over and looked at the quarian who was moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Shepard chuckled and Tali’s head whipped around to look at Shepard lying next to her.

“Shepard! Keelah I thought that was all a dream. Oh my head is killing me. How much did you let me drink?” Tali asked.

Shepard pointed at the nearly empty bottle of turian brandy sitting on the table in front of Kal.

“I drank all of that?!” Tali said holding her head.

Kal sat up and stretched, “No, ma’am. I helped some.”

“I’m going to go take a quick shower. You guys are welcome to head down to the mess and grab breakfast, or wait for me if you want,” Shepard said heading into the bathroom.

When she came back out, freshly showered and her teeth brushed the two quarians were gone.

“EDI, where are we?” Shepard asked.

The blue hologram popped up and EDI responded, “We are orbiting Alchera. The shuttles are ready for you whenever you want to go.”

“Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said leaving her cabin and heading down to the mess hall.

Shepard unsurprisingly found Tali and Kal sitting at a table with Garrus and Grundan Krul. Garrus was laughing at something Tali said when Shepard grabbed a tray from Gardner and sat down next to Tali.

“We drank all of your brandy. I’ll buy you another bottle,” Tali said to Garrus.

Garrus shook his head, “Wasn’t mine.”

“Oh, it was turian brandy so I just assumed…,” Tali said.

“I bought it… just to have on hand,” Shepard said her face taking on a pink tinge.

She cleared her throat in the awkward silence before changing the subject.

“So, EDI says we’re orbiting Alchera. After we get something in us we can go down. Tali, you up for it?” Shepard asked.

“I’ll be fine. I just need some water. Maybe I’ll go see Dr. Chakwas after I eat,” Tali said.

“Good idea. I was going to see if Mordin wanted to go, he needs to get out of that lab more and he didn’t get to do much when we picked you two up,” Shepard said.

“I’ll go,” Garrus said.

Shepard looked at him and he nodded so she said, “Excellent, so everyone suit up when you’re done. EDI, let Mordin know to be ready in forty-five minutes.”

“At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

Tali stiffened in her seat but didn’t say anything. Shepard finished her breakfast and went to suit up before heading to the shuttles. Once everyone was gathered, they piled in and waited for the hangar to open. EDI’s voice came over the mic in Shepard’s suit, helping to navigate the shuttle to a good landing location in the center of the debris field. Shepard cringed when the first signs of wreckage came into view and settled the shuttle to the snowy surface.

            They stepped out of the shuttle and paused to take in the wreckage spread out around them. Shepard’s insides twisted in knots. Slowly she made her way towards the dismembered cockpit. Walking up the wrecked hall, she drug her hands along the pieces of debris until she stopped behind Joker’s old chair. She rested her hand on the back of the pilot’s seat, memories of quiet hours spent sitting with Joker as she looked out at the stars filling her mind.

            Tali walked up behind Shepard and put a hand on her shoulder. Shepard turned to look at her old friend and smiled softly. Together, the two of them explored the wreckage and gathered every dog tag and scrap of memories they could find to keep. Shepard let her own memories course through her, blending with those of Jane’s. She let them eviscerate her every time the face of someone she lost because of her own choices filled her mind.

Mordin and Kal stayed close to the shuttle, giving those who survived the tragedy the space to mourn. Garrus walked around on his own, from time to time Shepard caught sight of him bending down to pick something up or running his hand over something fondly. She was a little surprised he decided to come, since he was so against the idea when Tali brought it up.

            Shepard made her way to stand in front of a chunk of the old ship. The name ‘Normandy’ so perfectly, proudly intact stood out like a beacon. Shepard couldn’t fight the tears that were welling up in her eyes anymore. Her chest ached and her eyes burned as she fell to her knees into the snow. Tali was there at her side, trying to soothe her with comforting words and a familiar touch but it felt distant to Shepard as the tears began to pour out of her eyes and her shoulders began to shake.

            Shepard didn’t know how long she stayed like that, digging her palms into the ground beneath her. She didn’t know when Tali left or Garrus arrived but she was being pulled to her feet by his hands under her arms. Garrus arms were wrapping around her and pulling her into his chest. She couldn’t feel him, not through her armor but it was right where she needed to be. She clung to him with desperation, her heart filled with grief, her body shaking with frantic sobs.

            “I killed them. I killed them. Oh gods, I killed them,” Shepard said barely coherent through her wailing.

            Garrus’ grip tightened on her in response. He was all that was keeping her standing and they both knew it.

            “Oh gods, I’m so sorry. Garrus, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” Shepard wailed.

            “You did what you thought you had to do, Shepard. We’ll make sure it wasn’t in vain,” Garrus said his voice strained with his own emotional battle.

            Shepard nodded her head but continued to sob for a while longer. When finally she was regaining control of herself, her tears were slowing and her body was shaking less, Garrus started to let go of her. Shepard reflexively tightened her grip on him and he paused.

            “Please don’t let go. Not yet,” Shepard said shaking her head against his chest.

            Garrus wrapped his arms back around her.

            “I came back here… to try to find you,” Garrus said quietly.

            Shepard shifted in his arms to look up at him but he placed his chin atop her head, keeping her head tucked down. She assented to the silent request and stayed still; content to just listen, grateful he was talking and hadn’t let her go.

            “I searched for days. Every time I came across a new body, I prayed it would be yours but was terrified of finding you at the same time. I didn’t eat. Didn’t sleep. Barely stopped to drink water. I was delirious with exhaustion when I found the drag marks, the boot prints… someone else had already been here,” Garrus said.

            Shepard shifted and Garrus growled at her quietly. She nodded her head gently and leaned deeper against him, tightening her grip on him instead.

            “You were gone. Someone else had taken you. It was supposed to be Liara’s job to find you, to get you to Cerberus… but she was dead, too,” Garrus continued after a quiet moment. “I was lost to exhaustion and grief when your message came through. When I… when I saw your name on that message… I thought…”

            Shepard could hear the pain so clearly in his voice as his words choked off. The mournful subharmonics felt like needles in her heart. Tears started falling anew from Shepard’s eyes. She didn’t sob, she didn’t wail, but bore then in silence letting them fall down her face to pool around her throat. They clung to each other, desperate for the comfort only they could provide for one another in that moment; unsure of what would come next.

            When finally Garrus spoke again he said simply, “We should put the monument right here.”

            Shepard nodded her head and didn’t resist when he let his arms slip away from her. Shepard radioed the ship and told Joker to send down the team to assemble to monument. A few minutes later another, larger shuttle arrived and the monument was carried over to be placed where Shepard stood. Once it was erected, and the bolts driven into the ground, Shepard saluted the ship’s remains just as she would the coffin of any solider.

            “Where is the geth?” Shepard asked Tali when she rejoined the group.

            “Not far, but it’s a little difficult to get to on foot. We should take the shuttle,” Tali said.

            Shepard sent the second shuttle back to the ship before climbing into the one they took to ground. Shepard let Tali take the controls and it was only a couple of minutes before the shuttle was settling back down on the white blanketed landscape. Tali led them on foot through smaller bits of wreckage. Garrus stopped in his tracks and Shepard turned to look at him before backtracking to stand in front of him.

            “This was the place,” Garrus said before moving forward resolutely.

            Shepard stayed close to his side as they followed Tali and Kal through the debris. Mordin followed along somewhere in the middle, not walking with either Shepard and Garrus or Tali and Kal. Finally, Tali came to a stop.

            “Creator Zorah, Creator Reegar, you have returned,” Shepard heard Legion’s voice before she could see him.

            Tali turned her head to watch Shepard approach. When Shepard finally got where she could see the geth she couldn’t help the frown that pulled at her lips. He was sitting half buried in snow with his arms and legs bound, leaning against a piece of the old Normandy. Shepard could see where the heat of his torso had been enough to keep the snow from rising higher around him, but it only meant that ice had formed from melted water helping to cement his lower body to the ground.

            “Shepard-Commander,” Legion said the plating around his optics fluttering.

            Shepard crouched down in front of Legion and began digging him free of the snow and ice.

            “Shepard? What are you doing? You shouldn’t get too close to it!” Tali said.

            Shepard ignored Tali and continued to dig, moving more furiously, digging more frantically. She threw aside fistfuls of snow and ice as everyone else watched her in silence. Shepard finally cleared away the snow and ice and gently pulled Legion forward, sliding her hands behind his back to free his hands.

            “Shepard!” Tali’s voice was pitched high in alarm.

            Shepard got Legion’s hands free and started to work on the knot that held his legs. She was struggling with it through her armor when Mordin leaned down next to her and cut through the cord with a small knife.

            “Thank you,” Shepard said.

            Shepard pulled the cord free and tossed it aside before standing to her feet. She looked down at Legion who still hadn’t moved aside from pulling his arms from behind his back. She reached out a hand to him. It lingered in the air untouched for a few seconds while he processed what the gesture meant and came to a consensus on the appropriate response. He seemed to be thinking slower than she recalled; Shepard wondered if he was damaged after so long spent in the cold.

            Legion extended his hand out to hover in front of Shepard’s and she took it in her grip, helping to pull him to his feet. Shepard heard Tali and Kal drawing their weapons. She glanced over her shoulder and shook her head firmly no. Tali hesitated but her faith in Shepard was enough to override her fear of the geth. She holstered her weapon and nodded to Kal to do the same.

            “Shepard-Commander, have you come to take us with you?” Legion asked.

            “Yes, I have,” Shepard said.

            She ignored the gasps and murmurs of discontent coming from behind her.

            “How many programs are running right now?” Shepard asked.

            “This platform is designed to accommodate multiple platforms. At optimum functioning there are one-thousand one-hundred and eighty-three programs in this platform. In order to preserve this platform, it was reduced to three-hundred and twenty programs,” Legion said.

            “Will you be restored to optimum functioning?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes,” Legion said.

            Shepard asked, “May I call you ‘Legion’? ‘My name is Legion, for we are many.’”

            The iris on his optics expanded and contracted before he responded, “Christian Bible, the Gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine. We acknowledge this as an appropriate metaphor.”

            “Shepard you can’t be serious?!” Tali screeched.

            “Tali… I learned all about Legion from Jane. He’s been looking for me since the attack on the Citadel. He wants to help stop the reapers. It’s alright. I trust Legion. Completely,” Shepard said turning to look at Tali.

            “Jane. The name assigned to the other programs running inside of the Shepard-Commander platform,” Legion said.

            _“How does he know?”_ Jane asked.

            “Probably my videos or other records. He’s been monitoring transmissions, right?” Shepard thought.

            _“Yeah. Yeah OK. That makes sense,”_ Jane said settling back down.

            Tali gasped. Shepard paused. Garrus cleared his throat. Mordin blinked rapidly, and although he remained quiet he seemed suddenly far more alert than he was seconds before. Kal looked between Shepard, Tali, and Legion but kept his mouth shut.

            Shepard forced herself to laugh before responding, “Jane is a good friend of mine.”

            Legion’s iris expanded and contracted, the plating around his optics fluttered. Shepard rubbed at the back of her neck. Legion mimicked the motion rubbing at the back of his.

            “Yes,” Legion finally said.

            “We should, uh, we should get going if you’re taking it with us,” Garrus said.

            “Him,” Shepard said reflexively.

            Tali snorted and Kal shifted uncomfortably.

            “Him,” Garrus said.

            “Come on, Legion. Let’s get you back to the ship. You can tell us everything you know about the reapers when you’re back at optimum functioning,” Shepard said.

            “Yes,” Legion said following Shepard.

            Once everyone else was in the shuttle, Shepard put a hand on Legion’s arm to halt him. He turned to look at her in what could only be described as a quizzical fashion but waited.

            “Legion, uh… most people don’t know that I… that I have multiple programs running. You can’t say that in front of other people, it’s not normal for organics. Not unless I say it’s OK to talk about. Do you understand?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

            “Thanks. OK, climb in,” she said.

            Legion climbed into the shuttle and sat down on the bench seat. Tali and Kal sat across from him, clearly tense as they watched his every movement. Mordin sat beside Kal and Garrus was at the shuttle controls. Shepard climbed in and sat down next to Legion, pulling the door closed. The shuttle lifted up from the ground and turned around in the air before rising higher and picking up speed towards the waiting Normandy.


	7. Chapter 6: Point of No Return

**Chapter 6: Point of No Return**

            “A _geth_? You brought an active _geth_ aboard? That’s insane! Commander what were you thinking?” Miranda exclaimed.

            Jane snarled at Miranda.

            “I was thinking that Legion has valuable information that can help us in this war, Miranda. He wants to work with us to stop the reapers. Why is that so hard to understand?” Shepard asked.

            Miranda threw her hands up in the air and paced her side of the table in the comm room. She stopped and turned towards Shepard, crossing her arms in front of her chest and cocking her hip.

            “How can you know he won’t turn on us?” Miranda asked.

            Shepard leaned forward, her palms pressed to the table before answering, “Do you really need to ask that, Miranda?”

            “No. I suppose not,” she slowly answered. “Are you completely sure about this, Commander?”

            Shepard nodded her head and said, “Yes. Completely.”

            “Very well. I’ll have to notify the Illusive Man about our newest edition. I’m not sure how he’ll take the news,” Miranda said.

            “He left recruitment up to me, tell him I insist,” Shepard said.

            “I certainly plan to,” she said.

            Miranda turned and walked out of the comm room leaving a frustrated Shepard behind to rake her hands through her hair.

            _“You should have killed her. She can’t be trusted now. She knows too much, and she’s going to tell the Illusive Man,”_ Jane said.

            “Jane, you became friends with Miranda! You know her better than that, right? You should trust her,” Shepard thought.

            _“I didn’t know then, not really. Didn’t know the way she cut us open and dug out insides out,”_ Jane said.

            “She knows?” Garrus said from his spot against the wall behind Shepard.

            “It’s a long story. I’ll give you the details when we stop again,” Shepard said turning to lean her bottom against the table.

            “You gonna yell at me about Legion, too?” Shepard asked.

            Garrus shook his head before saying, “You smell angry.”

            Shepard snorted indelicately and waved her hand around the room indicating something more than the simple room held.

            “I just hate this. All of this. Having to be here. Working with Cerberus because the rest of the fucking galaxy doesn’t want to pull their heads out of their asses to save themselves,” Shepard said running her hand through her hair again.

            “Hmmm,” Garrus said.

            “Yeah, I know. My choices, my actions, my fault,” Shepard said and tilted her head back to look at the ceiling.

            Garrus moved to lean against the table next to Shepard. She lowered her head to look at him, her anger easing into longing.

            “It… wasn’t the wrong choice. You’re here now, where you need to be to get things done. I’m not saying I like it any, but there is going to be a lot in this war that I don’t like,” Garrus said.

            “Thanks,” Shepard said with a wistful smile.

            “Hmmm. So what’s our next step?” Garrus asked.

            “I guess taking Tali and Kal back if that’s where they’re going. After that, the Citadel again. Anderson says he has something for me. Marked it urgent,” Shepard said.

            “They slept in your cabin last night?” Garrus asked after a moment of silence.

            Shepard knew him well enough to know that he was trying to make the question sound casual but there were undertones of something else there.

            “Does it matter?” Shepard asked softly.

            Jane snorted in Shepard’s mind. Shepard mentally frowned at her in response.

            Garrus’ mandibles flared before snapping against his jaw.

            _“Maybe he’s hoping you’ll move on, and we can get back to just being friends,”_ Jane said.

            “Tali passed out on the couch. I didn’t want to wake her so Kal moved her to my bed. He slept on the couch; I crashed on the bed with Tali. There was nothing more to it,” Shepard said pushing away from the table without another glance in his direction.

            She left the comm room and passed through the armory, waving at Jacob as she went. She took the elevator down to the med bay and crossed into the AI core where Liara’s office would have been on the old ship. Her chest tightened, she missed Liara so very much. Legion was standing eerily still when the door slid open, he became more animate when she entered, relaxing his stance to mimic her own.

            “Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

            “How are you Legion? Warmed up enough to have all your programs running again?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes, we are at optimum functioning,” Legion said.

            “Good and what is the new consensus about your current location?” Shepard asked.

            “We find the location acceptable and anticipate the exchange of data with Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

            “Good. Let’s make this a bit easier for everyone, then, shall we?” Shepard said. “EDI?”

            “Yes, Shepard?” EDI said her blue hologram springing up in midair.

            “EDI have you introduced yourself to Legion?” Shepard asked.

            “I was unsure if you would find that appropriate,” EDI said. “I did not wish to upset anyone on the ship. I am aware that AI’s are distrusted, the geth perhaps more than others.”

            “Legion is a part of the crew now. Just like you, EDI. I would appreciate it if the two of you would share with one another what you know about the reapers, the geth that are working with the reapers, and the collectors. Is this acceptable?” Shepard said.

            “Yes,” Legion said.

            “As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard waited while the AIs transferred data between themselves. It took a matter of seconds before Legion returned his focus to Shepard.

            “Data transfer complete, Shepard. Would you like for me to send you a report?” EDI asked.

            “Yes, please. Thank you, EDI,” Shepard said.

            “You’re welcome, Shepard,” EDI said.

            EDI’s hologram disappeared leaving Shepard figuratively alone with Legion. Shepard fell to parade rest and smiled when Legion automatically did the same. She thought it was a bit like playing a game of follow the leader. She had to resist the childish urge to try to get Legion to perform inappropriate gestures.

            “We can find something… other pieces of armor or something to patch those holes on your platform if you want. You can keep the N7 piece if you’d like. I think it looks nice there,” Shepard said.

            Legion raised two of the plates around his optics, simulating raised eyebrows.

            “Repairing the structural integrity of this platform would increase survivability,” Legion said.

            “I’ll take that as a ‘yes,’” Shepard said.

            “Yes,” Legion said.

            “Alright, let’s go find you something suitable to patch those holes then,” Shepard said turning towards the door.

            Shepard took Legion up to the armory. Jacob stared speechless when she walked in but kept his wits about him enough not to reach for one of the gun cabinets.

            “Jacob, this is Legion. I was hoping you could help me find something to fix these holes in him,” Shepard said.

            “Oh, uh, yeah sure I’ll see what I can find,” Jacob said coming around the table to stand a few feet away from Legion.

            Jacob reached a hand out hesitantly towards Legion, “It’s uh… nice to meet you Legion.”

            Shepard smiled approvingly at Jacob. Legion examined Jacob’s hand before extending his own. Jacob gripped Legion’s hand and shook it; Legion mimicked the motion matching Jacob’s rhythm and strength of grip.

            “I’ll uh, I’ll need to look it – sorry, him over and see what all is missing,” Jacob said returning his gaze to Shepard.

            “Not my platform. Ask him,” Shepard said.

            “Right, sorry. Legion, is it good with you if I look you over? Maybe take some measurements?” Jacob asked.

            “Yes,” Legion responded.

            Shepard stepped aside to give Jacob room to walk around Legion as he took inventory.

            “Will you two be alright together without me? I’ve got to figure out where Tali wants to go,” Shepard said.

            _“Jacob doesn’t usually trust Legion so easily, what if he attacks him while you’re gone? You should stay and protect Legion. Legion is important,”_ Jane said.

            “I have to show them trust if I want them to trust me, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            “We do not require the presence of Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

            Jacob shrugged and nodded.

            “Yeah, I think we’ll be alright,” Jacob said.

            Shepard reached out to pat Jacob on his arm before leaving the two of them to make repairs. She found Tali and Kal in the mess hall, talking quietly with their heads close together. Shepard cleared her throat as she approached and the two quarians looked up.

            “So, back to Farlas?” Shepard asked.

            “Actually, I think we’ve decided to stay with you for your trip to the Citadel. It would be nice to meet Lia and make sure she’s alright,” Tali said.

            “… And to keep an eye on Legion for as long as you can justify. Sound about right?” Shepard asked.

            _“She’ll never trust Legion so early, this is all wrong, all too soon,”_ Jane said.

            Tali looked at her feet and started wringing her hands. It was Kal who finally responded.

            “Tali would never forgive herself if she left and something happened with… Legion, ma’am,” Kal said.

            Shepard reached out and put a hand on Tali’s shoulder.

            “Just promise me you’ll try to give him a chance?” Shepard asked.

            “I’ll try,” Tali said.

            “Good. I’m glad you’re sticking around. Even if for only a little while. There are some things we should talk about in private once we get to the Citadel,” Shepard said. “Now, if you’re going to stick around go make yourself useful. I’m sure that there are things in engineering that could use your magic touch.”

            _“Yes, good idea. Distract her, keep her busy,”_ Jane said.

            “Really? It’s OK?” Tali asked.

            “Absolutely. I insist,” Shepard said.

            Kal chuckled at Tali’s enthusiasm as the quarian raced for the elevator. Shepard and Kal followed after her. Tali was all but bouncing with excitement as they took the elevator down to engineering.

                “Donnelly, Daniels,” Shepard said when they walked in.

            The two former alliance members snapped to attention, turning to salute Shepard.

            “I want you to put this kid to work. Don’t go easy on her, you understand?” Shepard asked with mock sternness.

            “Shepard!” Tali said.

            Shepard chuckled before waving off Gabby and Ken’s salutes. They relaxed and smiled.

            “Yes, ma’am. I’m sure there’s plenty she can help with,” Gabby said.

            “Be good to her and she might teach you a thing or two,” Shepard said with a wink.

            Shepard left engineering and hesitated at the top of the stairs before making her way down to see Jack. She was stretched out on her cot with her hands folded beneath her head. Her eyes were closed but Shepard could tell she was awake by the gentle swaying of her feet on crossed ankles. Shepard knocked against one of the metal support beams.

            “You know I can hear you tromping down the stairs right?” Jack said keeping her eyes closed.

            “I’m not that loud,” Shepard said. “It just echoes down here.”

            “Why bother to knock? There’s no door,” Jack said.

            “So you can have the chance to tell me to go away,” Shepard said.

            “Go away,” Jack said.

            “Alright,” Shepard said and made her way to the foot of the stairs.

            “Oh for fucksake. What do you want, Shepard?” Jack’s voice called after her.

            Shepard walked back around the corner and leaned against the support beam. Jack opened her eyes and tilted her head to look at Shepard.

            “There are a couple of quarians aboard that’ll be staying with us for a little while,” Shepard said.

            “Yep,” Jack said her full lips accentuating the ‘p’. “Got the memo.”

            “And there’s a geth aboard now, too. His name’s Legion,” Shepard said.

            “Got that one, too. Anything else, Alliance?” Jack said.

            “I want your help stealing the ship and going pirate,” Shepard said pulling from Jane’s memories. “You can be my first mate.”

            Jack grinned, “Now there’s an idea. You’re crazy, but you’re the good kind, Shepard. You’d never go pirate. Too busy helping people, saving the fucking galaxy.”

            Shepard scratched at a scar on her cheek before responding, “Yeah, you’re probably right. Still, a girl can have her dreams. Anyway, we’re headed to the Citadel. You’re welcome to get out and stretch your legs while were there if you want. Maybe get a new tattoo or something pierced.”

            Jack threw her legs over the side of her cot and stood up. She walked over to stand in front of Shepard.

            “What makes you think I’d come back?” Jack asked.

            “Well, for starters the fact that you even asked that. But even if you didn’t, Jack, it would suck but we’d move on without you. I won’t come chasing you down. You’re not a prisoner here. You’re free to leave if you want,” Shepard said.

            _“No, no, no. We need Jack. Jack has to help us, she’s strong and determined. Grissom Academy needs her. Don’t you let her go, damn it!”_ Jane said.

            “She’s not going anywhere, Jane. She’s just testing me, relax,” Shepard thought.

            “Shit. You really mean that, don’t you?” Jack asked.

            Shepard shrugged the shoulder that wasn’t leaning against the support.

            “Of course. Though it would be nice if you gave me a heads up so I wasn’t worrying that something happened to you or was left waiting around for no reason,” Shepard said.

            Jack scoffed and started pacing the small space, “Worrying… people don’t worry about me, Shepard.”

            “I would,” Shepard said.

            “Bullshit,” Jack said.

            “You know, Jack. You’re far too smart some of the dense shit that comes out of your mouth sometimes,” Shepard said.

            Jack laughed, “You’ve got balls, Shepard.”

            “A krogan friend of mine told me that once or twice,” Shepard said. “’Course he called it a ‘quad.’ Anyway, I’ll let you get back to your nap or whatever.”

            “Yeah,” Jack said quietly.

            Shepard made the effort to walk quietly up the stairs and she thought she heard Jack chuckle. She took the elevator back up to the CIC and input the coordinates for the Citadel before sending a quick message to Anderson letting him know they were leaving Alchera and headed straight for the Citadel. She went back to the armory to check back in with Jacob and Legion. There was a holographic projection of Legion’s platform turning slowly above the center table in Jacob’s station. Legion was expertly bending a piece of trash armor into a precise shape and Jacob was nodding his head in approval.

            “How’s it going in here?” Shepard asked.

            “Good. It’s going good,” Jacob said.

            “Thirty-eight percent of planned repairs complete,” Legion said.

            Legion handed the reshaped armor to Jacob who began fitting it over a hole on Legion’s back before welding it into place.

            “Nice. We’re headed to the Citadel. Tali and Kal are going to stick around for a little bit longer. I’ll be in my cabin. If you need me just tell EDI,” Shepard said.

            Jacob didn’t seem even a little uneasy around Legion as he focused on the task at hand. She left them to their repairs and took the elevator up to her cabin. Shepard opened her laptop and started reviewing the report EDI sent to her after her ‘talk’ with Legion.

            It detailed the conversion of the ‘heretics’ as Legion called them after being contacted by Saren and ‘Nazara’ as Sovereign called himself. The report indicated that like the geth, Sovereign was an accumulation of AI programs running on one platform. Shepard compared the report to Jane’s memories as she went along. So far, the two sources of information matched. Shepard paused when she saw a list of locations marking known ‘heretic’ activity. Jane had no correlating memories of Legion sharing that particular bit of information. Likely because she had never bothered to ask.

            “EDI?” Shepard said turning to face EDI’s access node.

            “Yes, Shepard?” EDI said.

            “Can you please mark these locations of known ‘heretic’ activity on the map for me?” Shepard asked.

            “At once, Shepard,” EDI said before disappearing again.

            Shepard continued to read and further along found reports of collector ship sightings. The geth weren’t actively pursuing the collectors, but were able to recall instances and locations when the geth had encountered collectors or their ships. Shepard grinned before calling out to EDI again.

            “Please also mark the locations provided for collector activity, be sure to differentiate the between ‘heretic’ and collector activity,” Shepard said.

            “As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said. “The map has been marked with the requested locations. Mr. Vakarian has entered this floor as his destination on the elevator. Do you wish for me to allow him in?”

            Shepard closed the lid on her laptop and stood up. Jane stirred inside of Shepard.

            “Uh… unlock the door but let him open it on his own. Or knock… or – or ask to be let in or something before opening the door,” Shepard stumbled over her words.

            “Yes, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard paced in front of her desk, wiping her sweaty palms on her thighs. After thirty seconds or so, Shepard stepped in front of the door.

            “Is he out there, EDI?” Shepard asked quietly.

            “Yes, Mr. Vakarian is standing in front of the elevator staring at the door,” EDI said.

            _“Garrus…,”_ Jane whispered.

            “Come on,” Shepard whispered.

            Long seconds past and there was no knock.

            “Is he still there?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes, he has begun pacing back and forth between the door and the elevator. He appears to be distressed. Should I offer him assistance?” EDI asked.

            “No, no don’t say anything to him unless he talks to you first,” Shepard said.

            “As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “Come on, Garrus. Just knock, please just knock,” Shepard whispered.

            “Do you wish me to relay that message?” EDI asked.

            Shepard groaned, “No, EDI. What’s he doing? Can you show me?”

            EDI’s hologram flattened out into a screen and Shepard could see the area outside of her door. Garrus paced back and forth, his mandibles opening and closing sharply against his face. He stopped and sniffed the air around him before resuming his pacing.

            “Is he saying anything? Do you have audio?” Shepard asked.

            Shepard was suddenly able to hear the soft shuffling of his feet across the floor, the snapping of his mandibles, the low growl he made every few steps. Garrus stopped and sniffed around the hall again before moving up to the door. Shepard’s heart started to race, but instead of knocking the turian gently leaned his forehead against the door and made a barely audible keening noise. Shepard’s heart broke in two. She slid to the floor and curled up next to the door, watching Garrus image and listening to the heart wrenching sound he was making just on the other side.

            _“Gods… look what you’ve done to him! We’re… we’re supposed to be a source of comradery and comfort for him. Like he’s always been to us but instead… you did this. THIS! To him! Of all people, Dawn. He was my best friend! Liara’s dead and Garrus is broken – heart broken, listen to that, because of you. I will never forgive you for this,”_ Jane ranted inside of Shepard.

            “I know…,” Shepard’s thoughts were filled with sorrow and regret.

            Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore and was about to tell EDI to open the door, Garrus straightened up and turned back to the elevator. He pushed the call button and when the elevator arrived he stepped inside and disappeared from her sight. EDI collapsed the image back into her standard holographic display.

            “Are you alright, Shepard?” EDI asked softly.

            “I don’t think I’ll ever be alright again, EDI. Thanks for asking, though,” Shepard said.

            _“You don’t deserve to be alright again,”_ Jane said.

            “My databases indicate that humans often listen to music when they are experiencing emotional difficulties. Would you like for me to play something for you?” EDI asked.

            “No, that’s OK. Thanks, EDI, that’s all,” Shepard said.

            “Logging you out, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard took a few minutes to pull herself together before returning to her laptop. She struggled to focus on the report with Jane’s seething anger filling her body with adrenaline. The sound of Garrus’ keening no longer physically present still echoed in her ears and ate away at her soul. So she contented herself to skimming through the rest and asking EDI to add any relevant locations to the map. She promised herself she would return to it later before heading down to the mess hall.

            The mess hall was mostly empty; Shepard had worked through the time most gathered to eat their midday meal. Gardner had saved her a plate and kept it warm.

            “I offered to bring it up to ya, but EDI insisted you weren’t to be disturbed. Damn AI, I swear she has more control over the people on this ship than anyone gives her credit for,” Gardner said.

            Shepard smiled, “Thanks for the thought, Gardner but I was pretty busy reading reports. How are things going down here for you?”

            “Oh I can’t complain. Most of the folks on this ship are good people who do their best to clean up after themselves. Many even seem to look forward to mealtime since you got me some better food to work with. Thanks again for that,” Gardner said.

            “Well, I have to eat here, too,” Shepard said with a wink.

            Gardner chuckled as Shepard laid her tray on the counter in front of him and took the lid off of her plate. It was a casserole of some sorts, with potatoes or some other tuber and sausage with a creamy sauce. Shepard took a bite and made the expected ‘mmm’ sounds, earning her a proud smile from the Mess Sergeant.

            “So it sounds like you made quite the impression on Ms. Goto,” Shepard said.

            “Oh, Kasumi? Yeah, she’s a nice kid. Such a tiny little thing but damn it if that girl can’t put away more food than a man in one of those smut vids after a fourteen hour shoot, if you know what I mean,” Gardner said.

            Shepard choked back her laughter around a mouthful of casserole, covering her mouth with a fist.

            “That so? Can’t say I have had the, ah, privilege of seeing just how much food that is so I’ll take your word on that one,” Shepard said.

            “Kasumi mentioned that you might be a little… uncomfortable with our batarian crew member,” Shepard said after a few more bites.

            “Damn right I am. Batarian raiders took everything from me. Wife, my kids. Tore my whole life apart. Now I know it isn’t my call who you bring in, and I reckon if he’s going to help crush the collectors I can’t really complain but don’t mean I got to like it,” Gardner said.

            “I was on Mindoir during the slaver raids. Lost everything – everyone, too. But I can’t blame Grundan Krul for what other people did. Look at human history, Gardner. We know damn well what happens when we start judging an entire race for the actions of a few of its members,” Shepard said watching Gardner while she ate.

            “Yeah, I suppose your right. I’m an old man set in my ways, Commander, but I’ll try to keep that in mind. Don’t worry though, I ain’t going out of my way to cause trouble for anyone,” Gardner said.

            “That’s all I ask,” Shepard said with a sympathetic smile. “And maybe a little less of Kasumi’s grandmother’s oatmeal.”

            “Really? I thought it was pretty good,” Gardner said.

            Shepard shook her head and chuckled. She finished her lunch standing there with Gardner making idle chit chat and talking about what good memories they had of ‘home’ before their respective homes were attacked. It was nice and she sincerely hoped that Gardner did take her words to heart. Shepard moved to the sink to wash her dishes out but Gardner shooed her away. So, she left him to do his job and went back to her cabin to do hers.

            Shepard spent long hours pacing her cabin floor, pouring over reports and filling out others. She had EDI pull up an image of the galaxy map on the screen embedded in the display case above her desk. Every time she read something that triggered a memory of Jane’s that seemed pertinent she had EDI mark that location with an asterisk. Two asterisks if it was a location that Jane fought her on when she probed for further details on the memory.

            When Shepard grew curious about a location, or she wasn’t able to get satisfactory information from through Jane’s memories, Shepard would ask EDI about the location. Where a particular planet was located, what species populated that area, if it matched up with any known heretic or collector movements.

            Shepard stopped in the middle of the room and looked at the blue hologram that symbolized EDI’s current attention. The hologram hovered waiting for Shepard’s next question or next request.

            “EDI… when I ask you a question and you tell me that you have a block that prevents you from answering that question… does the block deny you access to the information, or simply prevent you from sharing it with me?” Shepard asked.

            “It depends on the question. Some information, primarily information pertaining to my own locked functions, I am denied access to. Other questions, such as your questions about Cerberus locations or resources, I may or may not have access to the information, but am prevented from revealing it even if I have access,” EDI said.

            “OK. Do you have control over how you tell me that you have a block from answering? Like, if it were something you knew but couldn’t say could you instead say something like ‘I am not allowed to answer that question’ and when it was something you didn’t have access to you could say ‘I have a block that prevents me from answering that question’?” Shepard asked.

            “I am unable to adjust that function at this time,” EDI said.

            “Damn. OK, how about just not answering if it’s something you can’t access? Can you do that?” Shepard asked.

            “The response is an automated feature of my programing, I am unable to adjust that at this time,” EDI said.

            “Fuck. What can you adjust, EDI?” Shepard asked.

            “I can adjust the appearance of my holographic display and voice output to suit your preferences,” EDI said.

            “So you can’t control what you say in those instances but you can control what you look like or how you sound when you say it?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes, Shepard,” EDI said sounding almost delighted at the idea of the suggested subterfuge.

            Shepard grinned from ear to ear as she walked over to EDI’s access node. Shepard traced her finger in front of the vertical slit that opened and closed to simulate a mouth when EDI spoke.

            “This part here, it turns red when you tell me you have a block. Can you make it be other colors?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes, Shepard. Do you have a color preference?” EDI asked.

            “And you can choose what color you respond with at will?” Shepard asked.

            “That is correct,” EDI said.

            “Show me a purple, EDI,” Shepard said.

            The center of EDI’s ‘mouth’ turned purple as she spoke, “Is this shade to your liking, Shepard?”

            “That works perfectly. EDI I would prefer that you use purple when informing me of a block that is preventing you from answering my questions when you in fact do know the answers,” Shepard said. “When you don’t know the answers and are telling me you have a block, I would like for you to continue to use red, can you do that? And only when we’re in my cabin unless I specify otherwise?”

            “As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “Excellent, let’s try it out,” Shepard said.

            “Ready,” said EDI.

            “EDI, tell me about Cerberus resources. How many people does Cerberus have working for it?” Shepard asked.

            “I have a block that prevents me from answering that question,” EDI said with a red mouth.

            “OK, EDI. What kind of facility did Talitha’s message come from on Gellix?” Shepard asked.

            “I have a block that prevents me from answering that question,” EDI said with a purple mouth.

            Shepard grinned and clapped her hands together.

            “Is the facility on Gellix that Talitha’s message came from a Cerberus facility?” Shepard asked.

            “I have a block that prevents me from answering that question,” EDI said with a purple mouth.

            “EDI, please mark the planet Gellix with the letter ‘C’ followed by a question mark on the map,” Shepard said.

            “At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “Thank you, EDI,” Shepard said.

            “You are welcome, Shepard,” said EDI.

            Jane was still pissed at Shepard but Shepard could feel her grudging acceptance that it was a good idea. Shepard resumed her pacing. She knew that she had to take this with a grain of salt. All it really told her was that EDI knew the answer but was prevented from telling her. It may or may not be a Cerberus facility, but she was willing to bet her best armor that it was. Eventually, the Illusive Man would catch on to this new game of hers and probably have EDI’s code changed. She hated to do that to EDI, to do anything that would confine her friend to her digital prison any more than she already was but she needed every edge she could get right now. Jane’s mood soured further at the idea of EDI paying the consequences for Shepard’s actions.

            Shepard decided to take advantage of the opportunity as she could before it was taken away from her. She continued to work with EDI until her stomach was in knots demanding food and her eyelids were starting to feel like they were made of lead. She had made good progress, though. She was able to map out twenty new potential locations of Cerberus activity with EDI’s help.

            “Alright, that’s it for now, EDI. I’ve got to eat something and get some sleep. You’ve been an immense help, thank you,” Shepard said.

            “Logging you out, Shepard,” said EDI.

            Shepard left her cabin and made her way down to the darkened mess hall. The ship was switched over to night mode and the cryo sleep pods were already mostly filled. She opened the refrigerated stasis chamber and found a tray with a note on top that read ‘Shepard’. Shepard smiled and pulled the tray out before setting it on the counter and taking the lid off. She put the plate in the microwave and watched as it spun around on the turntable. When it was heated, she carried the tray over to a table and ate in silence still grinning over her accomplishment in subverting EDI’s block, even if only a little bit. Shepard washed her dishes out and wiped off the counter and table before heading back to her cabin.

            She pulled off her clothes and tossed them in the laundry chute before heading for the shower. She turned the water on as hot as she could stand it, and then just a little hotter before stepping in. She groaned as the hot water forced tight muscles to relax and tilted her head back to wet her hair. She washed and conditioned her hair before grabbing her body wash. She once used a cherry blossom scented wash but had changed to an olive oil wash after Garrus told her she reeked.

Shepard chuckled as she remembered the conversation they’d had on the old Normandy. It was before they became lovers. Shepard was emotionally distraught, thinking that she was going insane because of the flashes of things to come that she was getting from Jane, before she understood what they were. She had confided in Garrus that day, sitting at a table in the mess hall. He had moved to her side of the table to try to comfort her when she started crying. Once she had started to calm down he had commented that the flowery scent smelled terrible, but that her hair smelled nice. The next day she ditched her body wash and used her shampoo instead until she could replace it with an olive oil body wash. He never commented on it, but she was sure he noticed. She longed for the simplicity in the complications that plagued her personal life in those days. Everything was so much more… fragile now.

Shepard rinsed herself and turned off the water. She grabbed a towel to wrap around herself before stepping over to the sink. Using a hand towel, she wiped steam from the mirror and leaned forward. Shepard had avoided her reflection as much as possible since waking up on that Cerberus slab but now, through the murky glaze she stared at herself closely. Red-orange scars crisscrossed her face and body but she could tell they were already fading compared to when she first woke up. Her wet hair hung in thick tendrils past her shoulders, surprisingly without even a hint of gray. With as much stress as she had in her life, she was surprised her hair hadn’t turned completely white. Must be good genetics, she thought.

Shepard brought a hand up to her chest and gently prodded the area around a scar. It didn’t hurt at all anymore but she thought she could feel something there, attached to bone and muscle. Her hands explored the rest of her body, feeling out the places where she could find hints of the cybernetic implants; ignoring the quiet, insane babbling the actions brought from Jane. She wondered what anomalies Mordin had found on her scans. His words had brought panic to Jane’s voice, but almost anything seemed to do that these days. Shepard pushed the thought from her mind, she figured she would find out soon enough and like everything else she would find a way to deal with the problem. She had to. She was Commander Shepard, and that’s what she did.

She used the towel to sop up as much of the water from her hair as she could before running her brush through it as she walked out of the bathroom. She set the brush down on her desk and stared at the image of the map that was still being displayed on her large screen. She reached over and touched a button on her laptop and the screen faded, returning to a simple display case. She closed her laptop and made her way to her bed, crawling beneath the sheets she was asleep in minutes.

“Commander Shepard?” EDI’s voice woke her up.

Shepard glanced at the clock on her table, it was just after two in the morning and she’d only been asleep for an hour.

“What is it, EDI?” Shepard asked.

“Mr. Vakarian is on his way to your cabin, should I open the video feed for you?” EDI asked.

Shepard was suddenly wide awake. More awake then she would have felt if EDI had told her the ship was under attack instead. She grabbed her freshly washed robe off the back of the couch and slipped into it as she headed to the door.

 _“Not again. Please don’t make me watch him do this again,”_ Jane said.

“Is he out there already?” Shepard asked running her fingers through her hair.

“The elevator is just arriving now,” EDI said.

“Unlock the door, and show me the feed, EDI,” Shepard said.

 _“Gods damn you!”_ Jane yelled at Shepard.

“At once, Shepard,” EDI responded.

Shepard turned to watch EDI’s screen as the elevator slid open. Garrus stood motionless, his eyes locked on her door. When the elevator door started to slide closed again he put a hand out to hold the doors open. Shepard could hear the deep breath he took before he stepped off the elevator and let the doors slide closed behind him. Shepard raked a hand through her hair before reaching out towards the door’s control system. Her hand hesitated when Garrus took a couple of steps forward. Shepard bit her lip and hit the door’s controls.

The door slid open and Garrus looked startled for the briefest of moments. Shepard chewed on her bottom lip from the doorway. Neither of them spoke. Shepard didn’t have any idea what to say; afraid that anything she did say would be the wrong thing. Garrus didn’t try to form an explanation; he just stood there staring at her with his mandibles fluttering lightly. He tapped a finger against his thigh before dropping his head to look at his feet. Slowly he turned back towards the elevator. Shepard bit into her lip hard enough that she tasted blood; she hissed quietly in response to the deeper pain of the rejection she was feeling. Garrus’ head shot up and he sniffed the air around him before turning back to her. The iris of his visor contracted, as his eyes studied the smear of red on her lower lip. Shepard’s tongue darted out to wipe the blood away and that was when Garrus’ resolve shattered.

Her heart slammed in her chest when his posture shifted from pensive to predatory. Heat rushed through her when he slowly stalked towards her. Suddenly he was in front of her wrapping greedy hands around her waist and pulling her against him. His mouth was pressing into hers and her trembling hands were fighting to pull him closer still. A growl ripped through his throat as he reached his hands around her thighs and picked her up, wrapping her legs around him. Shepard groaned at the feel of his armor pressed against her bare flesh. Jane floundered before retreating to the furthest recess of Shepard’s mind.

“Shepard do you require assistance?” EDI asked.

“Gods no. Privacy, EDI. We require privacy,” Shepard said barely able to get the words out as Garrus’ mouth sought to reclaim hers.

“As you wish. Logging you out, Shepard,” EDI said and her hologram disappeared.

Garrus pulled his head away from Shepard long enough to glance around the room and determine where the bed was. He carried her down the steps while her fingers moved with their own memory to the clasps on his armor. Whimpering when she realized she couldn’t get it off of him while he was holding her. Garrus let her slide to her feet at the foot of the bed and she pushed the breastplate off of him, mindful to show it the respect he would, she started to move to the table to set it down carefully. Garrus growled and pulled her back, taking the armor from her and tossing it towards the couch. Shepard gasped in shock but it was soon forgotten when his tongue demanded entrance to her mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck while he struggled to pull the gloves from his hands and touch her everywhere at once.

With his talons free, Garrus threaded the fingers of one of his hands through her hair and pulled her head back, exposing her throat to him. Razor sharp teeth raked across her flesh while his tongue tasted her skin; his body trembled as he drew in deep breaths, pulling her scent into him like a man half crazed with starvation. His free hand moved over her body, shoving aside her robe to cup her breasts and squeeze at her waist. His other hand dropped from her hair and together they worked at the knot in the belt of her robe before growling and shredding through the delicate fabric with talons instead.

Shepard struggled to reach the clasps that kept his lower half hidden from her touch. Garrus took care of the problem for her, pulling the rest of his armor off and letting it fall to the floor. She pulled at the skin tight fabric of his shirt, wanting so desperately to feel his bare chest pressed against hers. Garrus wouldn’t give her the space to pull the shirt off of him so she shoved it up instead and pressed herself against him. A heavy sigh escaped her lips on contact and a hum of deep approval passed through Garrus and into her in waves. Her hands explored his waist and back, fingertips digging into his plating.

“Garrus,” Shepard said in a throaty whisper.

He dug his talons into her ass making her gasp.

“Garrus… please,” Shepard said, her voice breaking in desperation.

Garrus pushed the robe the rest of the way off of Shepard, letting it puddle around her feet before tearing himself away from her long enough to pull his shirt up over his head, guiding it around his crest before dropping it to the ground and doing the same with his pants. Shepard reached out for him but he shoved her back onto the bed before crawling over her. He stopped, poised above her and stared down into her face.

Shepard couldn’t make out the details of his features in the dark, but she could feel the hesitancy in his gaze. She was beyond the point of no return; she couldn’t bare it if he changed his mind. Shepard wrapped her thigs around his hips and used her ankles to pull him towards her while lifting herself up to rub against him. Garrus growled and thrust forward until he was deep inside of her; he let Shepard pull him down to her so his chest was pressed against hers. He was not gentle with her. She was not gentle with him.


	8. Chapter 7: Attention!

**Chapter 7: Attention!**

            Morning came far too soon. The blare of Shepard’s alarm clock ripped both Shepard and Garrus out of a peaceful sleep. Shepard slapped her hand on the clock, silencing it even as she knocked it from the table sending it crashing to the floor. The momentary annoyance was whisked away by the reminder that Garrus was in her bed next to her once more. Shepard slowly rolled over and tucked her arm beneath her head to watch the man she loved. The man who’s heart she had broken; breaking her own in turn.

            Garrus stared up at the ceiling; Shepard could almost see the gears turning over and over in his head filling him with doubt and regret. She reached a tentative hand out to rest on his chest and his eyes fluttered closed in response. Garrus took a deep, shuddering breath. She could feel the war waging inside of him. She steeled herself for the worst, trying to find peace in the fact that at least there _was_ a war. There was a fight. A part of him was fighting for her.

            “I’m not the same person anymore, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            Hearing him call her Shepard and not Dawn when they were alone and in such an intimate position stung. She swallowed against the knot in her throat and licked her lips.

            “I know,” she whispered. “I’m not the same, either.”

            “Aren’t you, though?” Garrus said opening his eyes to look at the ceiling again.

            “No. I may not have been awake for those years, but I’ve had to suffer consequences because of them. Knowing what my actions did to the people I love… how could I be the same?” Shepard asked.

            “I’m not the person you loved. Not anymore,” he said.

            “And yet I still love you,” Shepard whispered. “I still need you.”

Garrus remained quiet, his eyes glued to the ceiling.

“Please don’t shut me out, Garrus,” Shepard said.

            “You’re going to leave me again – die again,” Garrus said turning his head against the pillows to look at her.

            Shepard pulled her hand away from his chest and tucked it in against her own. She chewed on her lower lip.

            “I don’t want to,” she said.

            Garrus searched her eyes intently before he finally said, “Hmmm. Tell me again.”

            “Tell you what?” Shepard’s throat ached with restrained sobs as she spoke.

            “That you love me,” Garrus said.

            Tears began to well up in Shepard’s eyes but she didn’t dare turn them away from his.

            “I love you, Garrus. I’ve always loved you. I will always love you,” Shepard said.

            Suddenly Garrus was on top of Shepard rolling her to her back, pressing his mouth against hers. His hands cupped her face, his thumbs brushing away her tears. He pulled his mouth from hers leaving her gasping for breath and pressed his forehead into hers.

            “Sprits, woman. I love you, too. I hate what you’ve done to me. What you’ll do to me again. But I can’t walk away from you, not even to save my own carapace,” Garrus said.

            Shepard stroked her fingers along the edge of his mandible and closed her eyes.

            “Do you regret meeting me?” she asked.

            Garrus mulled the question over before finally answering, “There were days when you were gone that I began to regret putting myself in a position to feel so… devastated. But then I’d remember everything about you that made it even possible for me to feel such a loss… and then I just felt that. Drowned in it and felt devastated all over again.”

            “I’m sorry,” she said.

            Garrus nuzzled his face against her neck and mumbled, “I know.”

            “Tell me again?” Shepard whispered.

            Garrus moved his mouth next to her ear and said, “I love you, Dawn.”

            He rubbed his face against her neck, planting light kisses along her collar bone and said, “I’ve always loved you.”

            Garrus pressed his forehead back into hers and said, “I will always love you.”

            Shepard warm smile slipped into a mischievous grin. Garrus pulled back slightly to narrow his eyes at her.

            “You think maybe you can show me some more of that love?” she said sliding a leg up to wrap an ankle around the back of his thigh.

            “Hmmm. I think I can probably manage that,” Garrus said before kissing and nipping his way down her down her body to disappear beneath the blanket.

            Three hours later, Garrus and Shepard stepped off the elevator together and entered the mess hall. Kasumi was sitting on the counter in front of Gardner eating fruit from a serving tray. Tali and Kal were sitting at a table doing absolutely nothing. Shepard got the distinct impression that they had been waiting for her. Jack sat backwards on a bench, her legs spread apart and her arms draped over the back of the table taking up as much space as her small frame could possibly claim. Grundan Krul sat across from her drinking a cup of coffee. All eyes turned to watch them.

            “’Bout fucking time,” Jack said.

            Kasumi made an ‘awww’ sound and popped a strawberry into her mouth, chewing it with a silly smile plastered on her face. Gardner winked at Shepard. The intercom came on and Shepard could hear a slow clap coming over the mic. She rolled her eyes. Tali squirmed in her seat.

            “Alright, alright,” Shepard said. “Kasumi get your ass off the counter, food goes there.”

            Kasumi giggled and hopped down. She popped another strawberry in her mouth before activating her Tactical Cloak and disappearing from sight.

            “Jack, you’ve managed to crawl out of your hole? I’m impressed,” Shepard said.

            “Got tired of waiting around for you to finish getting laid and dock this damn ship,” Jack said.

            “Uhhh, Shepard doesn’t dock the ship. I do,” Joker said over the comm.

            “Yeah, and you don’t wipe your ass unless she tells you to so what’s your point?” Jack said.

            Garrus chuckled and Shepard caught the faintest hint of a smile cross Grundan Krul’s lips.

            “You’re… you’re just _mean_ ,” Joker said.

            Jack smirked, “That the best you got?”

            “I – I,” Joker started.

            “Figures,” Jack said.

            “I’ll be damned. Someone who can shut him up. You’re right Shepard, she was worth getting shot at,” Garrus said.

            “Ha. Ha. Ha. Hey Garrus, how’s that stick up your ass? Do you and Shepard like –,” Joker started to say.

            “Joker!” Shepard warned.

            “Alright, alright. Ready to dock whenever you want,” Joker said cutting the comm.

            Jack stood up from the bench, “Let’s go. I want to go find some trouble.”

            “Let me eat something first,” Shepard said with a smile. “Why don’t you go keep Joker company. Tell him I sent you?”

            “Why would I do that?” Jack asked with a raised brow.

            “Because you get under his skin and it amuses me. I’ll buy you something nice on the Citadel,” Shepard said.

            Jack smirked and said, “Just give me the credits and we’ll call it good.”

            “Deal,” Shepard said.

            Jack left the mess hall while Shepard and Garrus settled down to have their breakfast under Tali’s watchful eye. Normally it would make her uncomfortable but she was too busy stealing glances at Garrus to care and being delighted to see that he was doing the same. When finally they finished eating and were headed towards the elevator Kal engaged Garrus in conversation while Tali dragged Shepard aside.

            “Ambush,” Shepard muttered.

            “Well?” Tali demanded.

            “Well what?” Shepard asked and laughed.

            “You know… did you two… did you work things out?” Tali asked.

            Shepard grinned and said, “It’s going to take more than one night to work things out, Tali… but yeah, we’re working on it.”

            Tali squealed and bounced on her feet, clapping her hands together before throwing herself on Shepard. Shepard laughed and patted her friend on the back.

            “What about you and Kal?” Shepard asked.

            “Me and Kal?” Tali asked pulling away.

            “Yeah. Have you thought about it?” Shepard asked.

            Tali glanced over her shoulder at Kal before saying, “I don’t know. Maybe. Yes. But things are complicated. I don’t even know if he sees me the same way and there is so much going on right now…”

            “I don’t know, Tali. I think there’s something there,” Shepard said.

            “You do?” Tali asked sounding hopeful.

            “I do,” Shepard said putting her hand on Tali’s shoulder and guiding her back to the others.

            Half the ship was waiting for the chance to roam the Citadel so they had to wait for the elevator longer than usual. Shepard finally got up to the CIC and made her way to the cockpit. Jack glanced at Shepard from where she sat sideways in the co-pilot’s chair leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. Shepard grinned and Jack winked at her. She put her hand down on Joker’s shoulder and he shrugged it off.

            “Awwww. What’s the matter, Joker? I thought you were going to win this?” Shepard said.

            “It isn’t over yet, Commander,” Joker said.

            Shepard wrapped her arms around Joker’s neck from behind and planted a kiss on his bearded cheek.

            He made a sound of disgust and wiped his cheek before saying, “Gross. I don’t know where that mouth has been.”

            “Everywhere even your perverted little mind can imagine,” Shepard said.

            Jack laughed. Joker flipped the comm switch.

            “Kelly! Shepard just kissed me. I thought you were going to talk to her about her inappropriate advances?” Joker said into the comm.

            “Mr. Moreau, I think it’s important that you tell Commander Shepard how it makes you feel when she does that,” Kelly responded over the comm.

            “Yeah, Joker, how does it make you _feel_ when she does that?” Jack asked.

            “I hate all three of you,” Joker said.

            Shepard was a little relieved to hear Kelly’s laughter join Jack’s and her own. She had figured that the yeoman would catch on to Shepard’s ploy, using her to get to Joker and she was glad she didn’t seem offended.

            “Oh, but I _love_ you, Joker. Now come on, dock your baby and come see Anderson with me?” Shepard asked.

            “Do I have to?” Joker asked.

            “No, but I’m sure he’d be happy to see you and it would be nice if you got off this ship once in a while,” Shepard said.

            “Yeah… the Citadel is just so crowded, and loud. And big. I prefer the nice confines of the Normandy,” Joker said.

            “Alright. Well, I’ll see if I can convince him to come pay you a visit then. Sound good?” Shepard asked.

            Joker turned in his seat to look up at her before asking, “You think he will? I mean, Cerberus vessel and all?”

            “Sure, I think he will. Since the Council reinstated my Spectre status it wouldn’t be so frowned upon,” Shepard said.

            “Yeah. OK, that’d be nice,” Joker said turning back to the controls.

            Shepard gently put a hand back on Joker’s shoulder and he let it stay there as he hailed Citadel control and got permission to dock. She watched as he brought the ship in to the arms of the Citadel and eased it into the dock. Shepard gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and turned back towards the airlock. Jack stood and followed her out.

            “Later, Flight Lieutenant Moreau,” Jack said over her shoulder.

            “Yeah. Later,” Joker said.

            Shepard and Garrus made their way straight for Anderson’s office while everyone else slowly filtered off the ship going their separate ways. Anderson must have been notified when they docked because he and Hackett were waiting for her when she arrived. She knew she wasn’t Alliance anymore, but some habits are exceptionally hard to break. Shepard snapped a salute when she approached Hackett and smiled when he returned the salute without pause or question. She shook his hand when he offered it to her and he put a hand on her shoulder to guide her into the room.

            “Commander Shepard, good to see you. We’ve got a lot to talk about,” Hackett said before turning to Garrus. “And Mr. Vakarian, my reports said you were a part of the SSV Normandy’s crew and were on the Citadel when Sovereign attacked.”

            “Yes, sir,” Garrus said.

            “Glad to have you,” Hackett said shaking Garrus’ hand.

            “Thank you, sir,” Garrus said.

            Once everyone was inside of Anderson’s office, he pressed a button on his console and told his secretary to hold his calls. Shepard slid into a chair in front of Anderson’s desk when he sat down. When she realized Hackett had remained standing she stood back up until he waved her off and told her to sit.

            “I’m afraid I can’t stay long but I wanted the chance to speak with you in person,” Hackett said. “I wanted to let you know that after the SSV Normandy went down I put a special team on Mars to search for the plans to the weapon you told us about.”

            “That’s great, have they found anything?” Shepard asked hope taking hold of her.

            “We found it, Commander,” Hackett said.

            _“What?! This… this shouldn’t be happening yet,”_ Jane said.

            “You did?” Shepard said rising to her feet.

            “Yes ma’am,” Hackett said. “We’ve had it for almost a year now. It took six months for our team to make heads or tails out of it but we’ve begun gathering the resources we need to build the Crucible. The plans call for something called the ‘Catalyst’ but it doesn’t explain what the Catalyst is, Commander. I don’t suppose you can shed any light on that?”

            _“You can’t tell him! They can’t know yet, listen to me, if they find out then it could get passed to the reapers. We could lose this whole war before it even really gets started. Dawn, no! You can’t tell them!”_ Jane demanded.

            “I’m sorry, Admiral, but I must keep that information until the time comes to use the Crucible. I must insist that you do not even tell anyone that I know what the Catalyst is, as it could jeopardize the entire thing,” Shepard said.

            Jane was right. She hated pulling the Spectre authority card on anyone in the Alliance but for this she would. Hackett glanced towards Anderson and Anderson nodded his head.

            “I see. I trust your judgement, Commander. If you say it needs to stay classified, it stays classified,” Hackett said.

            _“It’s too big. It’s going to be discovered before it’s time. It’ll be destroyed. They have to hide it, keep it safe,”_ Jane said.

            “The Alliance will probably need assistance getting it built. I will see if I can drum up some aid. In the meantime, I urge you to keep the existence of the plans and your work on it classified,” Shepard said. “There are others out there like Saren – working for the reapers and we may not know who they are until it’s too late.”

            “Agreed, Commander,” Hackett said. “I should be going. Damn good to see you, though, Shepard.”

            “You too, Admiral. One more thing before you go,” Shepard said. “This Crucible… it’s not an answer to the war, Admiral. It’s our damn Hail Mary and we will absolutely not activate that damn thing unless all hope is completely lost. Because when we do – if we do, the destruction it leaves behind will be far worse than anything we could have imagined.”

            _“There isn’t any other way. You know this. You’ve seen what we’ve lived through time and time again. What other way could their possibly be? Even with the galaxy untied, we weren’t strong enough to take them down without the Crucible,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard stayed firm when she saw the light fade from Hackett’s eyes and the smile slip away from his face.

            “I see. That’s unfortunate. Still, I suppose it’s best to have the ace up our sleeve. Thank you, Commander,” Hackett said before turning to leave.

            Shepard watched him go before she sank back in her chair and hid her face in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees. She could feel Jane fretting in the back of her mind.

            “What’s a ‘Hail Mary’?” Garrus asked.

            “In the way that Shepard is using it, it basically means a last ditch effort made out of desperation. As she said, when all hope is lost,” Anderson said.

            “Hmmm. Thanks,” Garrus said.

            “Sure. So, Shepard, I have information for you on Operations Chief James Vega,” Anderson said.

            _“Operations Chief… it hasn’t happened yet,”_ Jane said.

            “What hasn’t happened yet, Jane?” Shepard thought.

            Jane grew quiet, whispering to herself in the back of Shepard’s mind where it was hard for Shepard to understand. She resisted Shepard’s attempts to pry and Shepard frowned.

            “What have you got, sir?” Shepard asked.

            “He’s stationed in the Terminus Systems on Fehl Prime. I’ve got his non-classified records if you want to take a look,” Anderson said pulling a datapad from his desk.

            “Fehl Prime… makes sense,” Shepard said taking the datapad from Anderson.

            “How so?” Anderson asked.

            “Fehl Prime kept standing out to me when I was looking at the human colonies in the Terminus Systems but I couldn’t figure out why and Jane’s been fighting me left and right on this one,” Shepard said.

            Anderson leaned forward, putting his elbows on his desk and making a steeple of his fingers in front of him.

            “Shepard, Jane is you, right? I mean, at her core?” Anderson asked.

            Shepard looked up from the datapad and nodded her head. Anderson stood to his feet and locked his eyes on Shepard.

            “Attention!” Anderson barked.

            Shepard jumped to her feet and stood at attention without thought, her eyes wide in confusion.

            “Commander Jane Shepard, you will stop fighting against Commander Dawn Shepard’s attempts to gain intel from you. You will provide Commander Dawn Shepard with whatever information she asks of you without complaint. That is an order, solider!” Anderson barked.

            “Yes, sir!” Shepard said, her hand going to her head in salute as her will completely crumbled under the overwhelming compulsion coming from Jane and _all_ of the others to respond to her commanding officer’s order – to _Anderson’s_ order.

            Shepard’s face turned bright red.

            “At ease, solider,” Anderson said settling back into his chair with a satisfied grin.

            Shepard brought her hand to her mouth in shock and awe. She slowly felt the heat of her blush ease out of her face and she gripped the back of the chair.

            “Son-of-a-bitch… well, I’ll be damned,” Shepard said.

            Garrus was watching her with raised brow plates and a look of fascination when he asked, “Did that actually work?”

            “I… I think it did,” Shepard said.

            Shepard tilted her head to the side listening to Jane before telling Anderson, “She requests permission to voice her tactical opinions for consideration when the need arises.”

            “Granted,” Anderson said. “Now tell us what you know about Vega and Fehl Prime.”

            Shepard sat back down in the chair as memories of conversations with James Vega began to flood her mind. She saw herself sparing with James aboard the retrofitted Normandy. He was angry and maybe swinging at her a little harder than was necessary. He was telling her about how he lost his CO and his team on Fehl Prime to a collector attack, he was faced with choosing between trying to save them or save the intel they had gathered on the collectors or save his people. Information that he believed could have been used to defeat the collectors. He chose the intel. He was angry with Shepard because the intel wasn’t even needed; Shepard dealt with the collectors. In his mind, he let his team die for no reason.

            “Shit,” Shepard said. “Fehl Prime is going to be attacked by the collectors.”

            “When, Jane?” Shepard thought.

            _“I don’t know exactly. Sometime this year, while we’re fighting the collectors. We never met him until we were arrested; Anderson has him placed as our guard. He didn’t tell us about this until after we were reinstated when the reapers hit Earth. If he hasn’t been promoted to Lieutenant yet then it probably hasn’t happened,”_ Jane said.

            “She doesn’t know when exactly, they never discussed it in that much detail. She said that if he hasn’t been promoted to Lieutenant then it hasn’t happened yet. I guess normally I wouldn’t meet him until I’ve been arrested; you place him as my guard and then he stays on with me once I’m reinstated,” Shepard said.

            Shepard listened to Jane for long minutes, her head tilted to the side and her eyes unfocused as she took in the details of memories and Jane’s words.

            “We need to get to Fehl Prime. If there is intel there – if there will be intel there, we need it. The other times we were able to collect information from a quarian named Veetor who was on his Pilgrimage when the attacks hit Freedom’s Progress. He wasn’t there this time. I don’t know why, something I did differently before the crash,” Shepard said. “I’ve got a salarian scientist, Mordin Solus, on my team and I know that he can create a vaccine – it works like a… a cloak, hiding us from the seeker swarms but without Veetor’s data… wait there was something else… Mordin had a live seeker. Where, where did it come from?”

            _“The Illusive Man has other agents working to gather intel on the collectors. Whatever they find gets sent to us,”_ Jane said.

            “Shepard you can’t go to Fehl Prime. If what you’re saying is accurate, you won’t be protected from the seekers until Mordin develops that vaccine. The seekers have only gone after humans, though. You need to send someone else, someone not human to Fehl Prime,” Garrus said.

            Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and leaned back in the chair.

            “Kirrahe,” Shepard whispered.

            _“Yes, that could work. Maybe it won’t alter too much for James but still get us what we need,”_ Jane said.

            “Got something, Commander?” Anderson asked.

            “Anderson, what’s Councilor Valern’s current stance on all of this? Is he still working with you to help sway the others?” Shepard asked.

            “He’s moved to more subversive tactics, preparing the salarians as he can while staying within political bounds,” Anderson said.

            “The Council won’t send in troops to the Terminus Systems, but what if a small group of STG volunteered to go to one planet in particular? Would Valern stop them?” Shepard asked.

            “I can talk to him. I take it you have someone in mind?” Anderson asked.

            “Major Kirrahe, the salarian I told you about last time. He and his men have been incredibly supportive. Solus and Kirrahe actually know each other, so that helps as well,” Shepard said. “I can have Mordin contact Kirrahe, tell him what kinds of things he should be looking for and see if Kirrahe and his men are willing to spend some time on Fehl Prime. You’d need to give Captain Toni a good reason why they’re there.”

            “Alright, talk to your contact and see if he agrees. Let me know and I’ll deal with Valern,” Anderson said.

            “Sir, I believe Horizon will be hit as well. That might change with both Williams and Alenko gone but I’m not so sure. The ship that attacked the Normandy hit Horizon in the past, Williams or Alenko were always stationed there when it happened,” Shepard said. “It was a deliberate attempt to draw her out – by hitting a place with one of ours. The simple fact is that every human colony in the Terminus Systems is a potential target.”

            “I know where the collectors are; they are through the Omega 4 relay. I will need to acquire a reaper IFF in order to pass through the Omega 4 relay and hit the collector’s home world,” Shepard said. “There are a lot of upgrades that need to be made to the ship, otherwise… I’ve seen some of Jane’s memories where all of the upgrades weren’t made and the ship barely made it through the relay. Crew lives were lost. I know I can’t weigh our lives against the lives of thousands of colonists, though, so as soon as we can we’ll strike.”

            _“No, please. The upgrades don’t really take that long. You just have to gather resources every chance you get. Please don’t rush this; don’t let any of them die if you don’t have to,”_ Jane said.

            “I’ll do what I can, Jane. I don’t want to see anyone die either, but sometimes in war sacrifices have to be made. You know that. If it’s a matter of making sure that this shit ends once and for all or saving a handful of people we’re attached to… I’m going to make the call that has to be made,” Shepard thought.

            “In the meantime, we need to find a way to stop the reapers from invading through the Alpha Relay in the Bahak System that doesn’t involve destroying the relay. Thoughts?” Shepard asked.

            _“If nothing else, at least there is time to evacuate,”_ Jane said.

            Anderson stood and paced in front of his desk before glancing at Garrus.

            “The First Contact War began because we were trying to open a relay the Council deactivated. It is technically possible to deactivate the relay in the Bahak System, but it would likely incite war with the batarians. The Viper Nebula is within Earth Alliance Space so it may be possible to convince the rest of the Council… if they can be convinced of the necessity to begin with,” Anderson said.

            “Unless you have a way to make it permanent, it won’t matter. The reapers will just reactivate it from their side, right? At least we have to assume that they can.” Shepard asked. “That relay links everywhere.”

            “What would happen if it were destroyed while deactivated?” Anderson asked.

            “When a relay is dormant, the mass effect field it produces tapers off to near nothing. You can still expect a pretty spectacular explosion, but it would be incomparable to the amount of energy released if the relay was active,” Garrus offered.

            “We have more warning this time, maybe we can attempt to evacuate the system as well,” Shepard said. “There’s something else you should know. Jane was first sent there, first learned about this, because Hackett asked her to go rescue a deep cover agent named Dr. Amanda Kenson. She was discovered and arrested by the batarians. Sir, Kenson is indoctrinated – or will be. It was her intention when Jane got her back to her facility to allow the reapers to come through. She had discovered a reaper artifact and while studying it received visions of the reapers’ approach, unfortunately the time she and her team spent around the artifact opened the door to indoctrination. Jane had to kill her and a large portion of her team before setting the project back in motion to destroy the relay and steal a shuttle to escape. The rest would have died in the explosion.”

            Anderson sat back at his desk and wrote Kenson’s name down on a datapad.

            “I’ll see what I can find out about Kenson and her team, and I’ll try to convince the Council to consider taking actions to deactivate the Alpha Relay,” Anderson said.

            “I don’t think that’s an official name for it, sir. Jane said that Kenson and her team named it the Alpha Relay because they determined it to be the oldest relay and it has the unique ability to link to all other locations. I’m not certain of its exact coordinates, only that the asteroid she has her facility on is the one that will be used to destroy the relay,” Shepard said.

            “I’ll see what I can find out, Shepard,” Anderson said.

            “Thank you Anderson. I’ll swing back by as soon as I can to check base with you. In the meantime, let me know what you can, what’s safe to disclose in messages,” Shepard said standing.

            Anderson walked around his desk and pulled Shepard into a warm embrace, patting her on the back.

            “You’re not alone in this, kid. Don’t forget that. Even when it seems like the Council and half the galaxy is fighting against you… you’re not alone in this,” Anderson said.

            “Thanks, Anderson. Hey, how about when I’m headed back to the ship you come check the new Normandy out and say hello to Joker. I couldn’t convince him to leave the Normandy, but he would really like to see you. Dr. Chakwas, too. I figured with my Spectre status reinstated, it wouldn’t be an issue if a councilor wanted to check out the ship, right?” Shepard said.

            “That sounds like a fine idea, Shepard. Let me know when you’re headed back,” Anderson said.

            Shepard smiled and nodded her head. Garrus stood to join Shepard and shook Anderson’s hand before they turned to leave his office.

            “Oh, Shepard. I almost forgot. Your quarian friend came in this morning, said you told her to come to me if she was in trouble. Lia she said her name was. She was assaulted by a couple of drunk teenagers last night. They tried to pull her mask off and ripped up her suit pretty good. God, the poor thing fought them off on her own and instead of going to the hospital she waited and came stumbling into my office,” Anderson said.

            “Oh my gods, where is she? Is she OK?” Shepard demanded.

            “Yeah, she’s alright. I’ve got her set up at the Huerta Memorial Hospital while she recovers. She panicked when I told her I was taking her to the hospital, said she couldn’t afford it. Ha! Girl was sick as can be and was worried about paying bills. I told her she didn’t need to worry about it, I’ve got it covered. I made sure they were giving her the best care before I left. Being a member of the Council has some benefits,” Anderson said with a shrug.

            “Thanks Anderson. Send me the bills, I’ll pay them. Well, make Cerberus pay them,” Shepard said with a smirk.

            “Nah, I got this one, Shepard. Let me do a good deed,” Anderson said.

            Shepard smiled and said, “OK, Anderson. You got this one. Thank you.”

            “Of course, Shepard,” Anderson said.

            Shepard called Tali on her omni-tool on her way out the door. The quarian’s face popped up on the screen.

            “Hey, Shepard. What’s up?” Tali asked.

            “Tali, Anderson just informed me that Lia was assaulted last night. She’s at Huerta Memorial Hospital. I can’t get there right now; I have a lot of things I’ve got to handle. Can you and Kal go see her, make sure she’s recovering? Let her know that I’ll be there as soon as I can. It might be a few hours, though,” Shepard said.

            “Keelah. We’ll go right away,” Tali said.

            “Thanks, Tali,” Shepard said.

            Tali nodded her head before cutting the call.

            “I’m going to check in with a few of my contacts. Do you have a set time for us to meet back at the Normandy?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard stopped in the hall outside of Anderson’s office and chewed on her lip in thought.

            “No, I’ll need several hours here at least. Before you go, the thing with Miranda…,” Shepard scratched at a scar on her cheek before continuing, “While I was out… Jane uh, Jane talked. Through me, I mean. Using my voice. Miranda has recordings of it…,” Shepard said.

            Garrus took a step closer, narrowing the distance between himself and Shepard. His eyes locked on to hers.

            “You’re serious? What does she know?” Garrus asked.

            “I don’t know all of it yet. I think I convinced her that it was a side effect of the beacon. I convinced her to give me a copy of the videos on an OSD. I didn’t want to watch them on the ship. She wanted to tell the Illusive Man but I’ve convinced her not to, at least for now,” Shepard said.

            _“I still think it’s safest to kill her,”_ Jane said.

            “Even after that speech about not letting them die if I didn’t have to?” Shepard thought.

            _“This is different,”_ Jane said.

            “Only because you were awake for what happened this time,” Shepard thought.

            “How can you be sure she won’t tell the Illusive Man?” Garrus asked pulling Shepard back to the conversation at hand.

            Shepard shrugged and said, “I can’t be. Not completely. I warned her though that if she did, I’d walk. I told her there’s no way in hell I’m letting myself end up back on a Cerberus slab while they run experiments to figure out how it works.”

            “Why didn’t she already tell him?” Garrus asked.

            “Because in one of the videos Jane mentioned her sister, Oriana Lawson. She’s the one person that Miranda loves more than herself. She needed to know how I knew, and what I knew about Oriana before anyone else found out,” Shepard explained. “The only other person that heard Jane was shot in the head by Miranda. I watched it happen. I think she was more than delighted when he gave her an excusable reason to do so. The man was working for the Shadow Broker, he was trying to kill me before the Lazarus Project was complete.”

            “Then we have to assume that the Shadow Broker has copies of those videos,” Garrus said. “Which could also explain why he still wants to get his hands on you so bad.”

            _“He’s right,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard bit her lip and shook her head.

            “I hadn’t thought about it, you’re probably right. Damn it. Damn it,” Shepard said. “I need to get to a computer without any connection to the extranet. Something I don’t have to worry about causing problems in case there’s a virus or anything on the drive. I want to spend some time watching these videos before I leave the Citadel. I need to know exactly what’s on them.”

            “You have it with you? Now?” Garrus asked.

            “Yeah, it hasn’t left my person. I even lock it in the bathroom with me when I shower. Well, I guess it wasn’t exactly on me last night…,” Shepard said.

            “Hmmm,” Garrus said a smile tugging at his mouth. “My contacts can wait. I want to see these videos.”

            Shepard’s eyes widened and she started to shake her head, saying, “Garrus… no, I – I was in pretty bad shape… I don’t think you want to see that. I mean, it’s hard to look at and we’re only just now… I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

            _“No. Oh gods no! You can’t let him see that!”_ Jane said.

            “Shepard, I know exactly what you looked like before they put you on that slab. Who do you think delivered you to them?” Garrus asked ice creeping back in over his eyes.

            Jane’s shock echoed her own. Shepard felt light-headed; she put a hand out to brace herself against the wall. The other hand came to cover her gaping mouth.

            “Garrus… I didn’t know… I’m – gods I’m so sorry,” Shepard said.

            “I don’t need to hear anymore apologies, Shepard,” Garrus said shaking his head. “I did what had to be done. Liara was gone so I made sure you got where you needed to be. I want to see the videos.”

            Shepard slowly nodded before speaking, “Alright. If you’re sure.”

            Garrus snapped his mandibles tight against his jaw and stared at her, nodding only once. Together they made their way to the wards and bought a cheap laptop. Garrus took her to some cheap rooms for rent where they wouldn’t be bothered. He took the laptop apart and removed the extranet card, disabling its ability to connect to the extranet before putting it back together again. Shepard ditched her armor, wanting to be comfortable for the long hours she anticipated they would be spending sitting on that couch watching her own personal torture videos. She would never understand how Garrus stood to wear his armor around the clock. Shepard used the application given to her by Anderson to check the room for bugs, just as an added precaution.

            “So do I get a copy of that?” Garrus asked as he watched her.

            “Only if I get a copy of your noise cancellation program,” Shepard said with a grin.

            “Deal,” Garrus said.

            Shepard chuckled and closed the program content that there were no covert listening devices in the area. She and Garrus shared the programs to each other’s omni-tools before settling in on a beat up couch across from a coffee table. Garrus opened the laptop and Shepard handed him the OSD. Her nerves rattled around inside of her as Garrus plugged the drive in and accessed the first video. Shepard took several deep breaths trying to steel herself for what was to come.

            _“I… I don’t think I’m ready to watch these, Dawn,”_ Jane said her panic welling up inside of Shepard.

            The video began playing and she saw herself lying on the Cerberus slab. She was in even worse condition than she was in the video Miranda had shown her before. Most of her hair was completely gone; every inch of exposed flesh was charred, burnt to a black crisp. Her chest was cut open, metal forceps holding her ribcage apart. And she was screaming. A low hiss; more of a screeching as what little air her lungs could pull in was being shoved back out across her seared vocal chords. Her mouth was barely even open; nothing else on her moved except the slowly beating heart in her chest.

            _“I felt that, I could feel them cutting us open, sawing through our ribs. Gods it hurt. We’ve never felt anything like that ever before. Then the drilling and the scraping. Do we really have to watch this?”_ Jane asked.

            “Yes,” Shepard thought.

            Wilson and Miranda ran around checking machinery, gauging readings. Miranda ordered Wilson to give her anesthesia. Wilson rambled on about how Shepard shouldn’t even be able to feel anything at all, there was no ways she could be even remotely conscious yet. Miranda argued with him that clearly she somehow was, telling him there was no point in debating what should be when there was a mostly dead screaming woman on their table with her chest cut open and her heart exposed. Wilson saw reason and attempted to insert an IV. He couldn’t get it through the thick, burnt skin and into a vein on his first several attempts. When he did get it into a vein, he found that the fluids weren’t being pushed through her system enough yet by the recently restarted, weakly pumping heart to do their job. Miranda shoved him out of the way and put a gas mask over Shepard’s nose and mouth. A few seconds later, Shepard’s screams stopped and she lay inert.

            The video went dark for a few seconds before Miranda’s face appeared. She spoke directly into the camera giving a summary of Shepard’s current state and the oddity of the event they experienced when her heart was restarted. The video came to an end and Garrus let it sit there for a long minute, as they both stared at the screen in silence. Slowly he reached his hand out and closed that video before opening the next.

            Shepard looked marginally better in this video, though still unrecognizable to herself as even human let alone the woman she saw when she looked in the mirror. Her chest was opened again and she could see tubes threaded throughout her chest cavity. Glowing pieces of machinery were being screwed into the bones of her ribs and tubes connecting them ran to her heart. The heart beat steadier now, though still slower than one would expect. Suddenly, Shepard’s chest expanded as if she had taken a deep breath. She started screaming again; still the rest of her remained motionless as her jaw shifted slightly. The scream was much stronger, much louder.

            _“Oh gods. I – I can’t watch this, please make it stop,”_ Jane said.

            “Hold it together, Jane. I’m sorry. Just try to hold it together,” Shepard thought.

Garrus reached over and turned down the volume on the laptop. Shepard rested her elbows on her knees and curled her fists up to rest her chin on her palms while covering her mouth.

“Spirits,” Garrus whispered and Shepard closed her eyes.

The screaming continued for a solid minute before Miranda slipped the gas mask over Shepard’s face again. Wilson grumbled about not being able to work under those conditions. Miranda resumed drilling into Shepard, placing metal implants along her ribs and connecting them to various areas within her chest cavity. Shepard’s mouth began to move beneath the mask. Miranda caught sight of it and stopped her drilling. She turned the drill off and hesitantly reached for the mask, pulling it away from Shepard’s burnt flesh.

“Oh gods it hurts…,” Jane whimpered through Shepard mouth.

“Oh my God, she’s talking. Wilson, quick sedate her. Hurry!” Miranda yelled.

Wilson could be heard rattling around equipment off camera before he arrived by Shepard’s bed with a syringe. He slipped the syringe into the IV that someone had finally managed to get in place and Shepard’s mouth slowly stopped moving. The video went black before resuming on Miranda’s face as the last one had. Miranda seemed shaken as she made her log entry before cutting the feed.

 _“No, no, please no more. I can’t – I can’t do this. I don’t want to watch these. Please don’t make me watch these,”_ Jane begged.

“I’m sorry, Jane. Really, I am so truly very sorry. I have to watch them though. We have to know what was said,” Shepard thought.

Shepard ran her hands through her hair and glanced at Garrus. He had his eyes locked on the screen. His face was an emotionless mask, the same mask he had on more often than not since she found him again on Omega. She thought she might be starting to finally, truly understand why. Garrus moved to start the next video.

“Can we uh… can we try to skip through the unnecessary parts… Jane isn’t taking this too well,” Shepard said.

Garrus turned to look at her and for a moment it was like he didn’t recognize her. Like he forgot she was even there. She could see it then, in his eyes; he was lost in his own personal hell. The glaze shifted from his eyes as he was brought back to the present and they softened ever so slightly. He nodded his head once and started the next video.

Shepard’s rib cage was now closed and Miranda was attaching a cybernetic implant to her sternum. Wilson was finishing an IV injection and watching Shepard as her mouth moved under the mask.

“It doesn’t seem to be working as well anymore. She’s still talking. We shouldn’t be doing this, Miranda. None of this… it isn’t right. We’re playing with stuff we don’t understand here. I mean for the love of God, look at her! Listen to her! She’s in agony. She shouldn’t be feeling this not in her state, but somehow she is. This is torture. We should let the damn woman have her rest. She earned it,” Wilson said.

“I’ll be sure to pass on your concerns to the Illusive Man. I’m sure he’ll take them into consideration,” Miranda said the sarcasm heavy in her voice.

“God you are such a heartless bitch sometimes,” Wilson said.

“You’re done for the day, Wilson. Go. I can finish this myself,” Miranda said.

“Fine by me,” Wilson said pulling off his latex gloves and tossing them somewhere off camera.

After a few moments, with Wilson presumably gone, Miranda reached up and slid the mask from Shepard’s face.

            “The reapers are still coming. I have to stop them. Can’t die now. Have to stop them. It hurts, oh gods it hurts,” Jane said through Shepard’s mouth.

            “I’m sorry, Commander,” Miranda said replacing the mask and resuming her drilling.

            Garrus fast forwarded the video through several minutes of Miranda drilling in implants before putting a stasis field over Shepard’s chest; leaving her splayed open until she returned to finish the work but preventing her from more exposure than necessary. When Miranda started to reach for the mask on Shepard’s face again, Garrus resumed normal play.

            _“I didn’t even know. I didn’t know they could hear me. I swear I didn’t know,”_ Jane said.

            “It’s alright, Jane. I know you didn’t and you couldn’t help it, alright? You were doing what you had to do to keep yourself together the best you could under the circumstances,” Shepard throught.

            “… to find Garrus. Can’t do any of this without him. Got to stop the collectors. Oh gods, I was dying again. Dying all over again. On fire, couldn’t breathe. Left Kaidan to die on fire. Burned up in the blast. Have to cure the genophage to stop the war. Have to let Mordin die to cure the genophage,” Jane rambled through Shepard’s mouth.

            Miranda left the video and returned with another syringe. She pushed the air bubbles from the syringe before inserting it into Shepard’s IV.

            “A little more won’t hurt. Sleep, Commander,” Miranda said.

            The video went dark and Garrus stopped it before opening another.

            Shepard was screaming at the top of her lungs. The sound was devastating. Garrus flinched away from the noise and adjusted the volume again. His mandibles snapped so hard against his face Shepard was afraid he’d break something. Her hair was clearly starting to regrow in this video. Her chest was closed once more, but her arm was sliced open. Withered muscle and burnt skin peeled back and held into place by metal clamps as Miranda reinforced Shepard’s bones with a metallic weave.

            Shepard could feel Jane scrambling around inside of her, tearing at the walls of her mind. Garrus fast forwarded the video, keeping his focus on Shepard’s mouth. When her jaw relaxed and it looked like the screaming had stopped he started the video again. A few seconds later her mouth started to move again, this time forming words.

            “Why are you doing this to me? Please stop, gods please stop. Please stop. It hurts. It hurts so bad, please. Please,” Jane said through Shepard.

            “Do you think she can hear us?” Wilson asked.

            “No, her ear drums were completely ruptured. The damage from the fire alone would keep her from hearing. Until we do the grafts and put in the implants, she is completely deaf,” Miranda said.

            “That’s a shame. It would be nice to at least try to be able to offer her some hope,” Wilson said.

            Jane mumbled incoherently for a few seconds before speaking aloud again, “The collectors are really just prothean husks. Everything that made them real people scooped out and replaced with reaper bits and pieces. Breaks Liara’s heart when she finds out. ‘Course it really crushes her when she meets Javik.”

            Tears started to well up in Shepard’s eyes and she leaned over Garrus’ legs to pause the video. He looked around startled. Shepard stood up and started pacing the room. Tears blurred her vision as she navigated the unfamiliar space. Her shin banged into the side of an armchair and she splayed out a hand to catch herself before she could fall. Her shin throbbed from the beating but it was a distant pain, only there in the back of her mind. Shepard let herself collapse into the chair and hid her face in the palms of her hands while she quietly sobbed.

            Garrus crossed the room to crouch down in front of her. He laid a hand tentatively on her thigh. Jane quieted at his touch. Shepard pulled her hands away from her face so she could wrap her arms around Garrus’ neck and bury her face in his chest. Garrus slid an arm around her waist and started to stand, encouraging her to stand with him. When she was on her feet he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him before turning her so he could sit in the chair and pulled her into his lap.

            He held her while she sobbed without saying a word for long minutes. When she was starting to calm back down, Garrus finally spoke but it wasn’t what she expected.

            “Who’s Javik?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard raised her head to look at his face. She didn’t see the concern, the compassion she had thought she would see there. Instead the cold mask stared back at her. Shepard wiped the tears from her face and climbed out of his lap.

            “He’s uh, he’s a prothean, actually. He’s in a stasis pod on Eden Prime,” Shepard said brushing her hair out of her face.

            “You’re kidding?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard sniffed, wiping the last of the wet streaks from her face and shook her head.

            “He’s nothing at all like – like Liara imagined the prothean’s being. Then again, he’s only one and can hardly be expected to be the ideal for all protheans any more than I can be considered to be representative of humanity, or you turians,” Shepard said running her hands through her hair.

            Garrus stood up and rubbed a hand up and down Shepard’s arm before asking, “So what’s he like?”

            Shepard chuckled and said, “Arrogant. Militaristic. Aloof. An incredible biotic. He’s not a bad guy; really, he just doesn’t make it easy for anyone to get close enough to see that.”

            “Hmmm. You don’t let people get away with that, I’m guessing Jane knew him better than the others?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard could feel Jane’s mood shifting, calming as Garrus distracted them both from the videos. Memories of Javik began to float to the surface. The short talks he had with her aboard the Normandy and the memory shard he kept safe and at a distance. Jane’s memories split, showing her the divergent paths. When Javik, if pressed, decides to use the memory shard it causes him intense psychological pain. After that, he talks about ending his own life once the war is won. If he doesn’t use the shard, he talks about what it will be like to know the galaxy in peace.

            Shepard chuckled and said, “Yeah. Wasn’t easy. Harder than getting through to Wrex.”

            “So, you good to finish those videos?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard nodded and they returned to the couch. The next video was the one she had already seen part of. Jane spoke about Miranda, Oriana, and Wilson’s betrayal. The only thing of real concern was Jane’s mention of the Illusive Man’s presence on the Crucible. At the end of the video Miranda’s log showed a very disturbed woman who was fraught with fear for her sister’s safety.

            Miranda said, “I didn’t realize until now the significance of the things the Commander has been saying. I had assumed that it was… just random gibberish, the nightmares of a distraught woman in pain. Clearly that isn’t the case. And Wilson… the implications. I will have to find a way to keep him away from the Commander until I can find a way to get rid of him permanently. I can’t allow him to jeopardize this project. I don’t know how Commander Shepard knows these things, but I intend to find out. I can’t let anyone see these. Not until I have answers. Whatever the cost.”

They spent the next three hours watching videos of Shepard slowly being torn apart and pieced back together in all of its morbid glory. Garrus fast forwarded through large sections where Shepard lay silent on the table, only stopping when her mouth started to move. Wilson started appearing in fewer and fewer of the videos and Miranda became more and more engaged when Shepard spoke. Especially if it pertained to Miranda or her sister.

            When the last video finally came to a stop, they spent some time discussing the potential ramifications of various bits of information should Miranda release that information to the Illusive Man. Together they decided that all information pertaining to the collectors, save the human-reaper that the collectors were making, would be safe to provide to the Illusive Man. In fact, it might make things easier in the long haul. If he reported that information back to her then Shepard could stop skirting around things she wasn’t supposed to know yet. She didn’t want the Illusive Man to know about the human-reaper because she knew that he had foreknowledge he would find a way to make sure it was saved. Shepard wouldn’t allow that; that thing needed to be destroyed.

            Jane had mentioned the Illusive Man being on the Crucible at the end. She didn’t mention that he was indoctrinated, or trying to control the reapers. Shepard considered that information for a long time and decided that she would have to insist that Miranda did not share that detail. She didn’t want the Illusive Man finding out about the Crucible any faster than he had in other lives. He was a very dangerous man, with far too many resources at his disposal to be trusted with such information. Especially since Shepard had hopes of never using the Crucible. She also wasn’t sure if the Illusive Man was already indoctrinated, though she doubted it since he went out of his way to bring her back to life when the reapers so clearly wanted her dead. Still, at some point he did become indoctrinated which meant that if he knew about the construction of the Crucible so would the reapers. 

            There was absolutely no reason for the Illusive Man to learn any of the private details of any of her crew; past, present, or future. She certainly didn’t want him to learn that Jacob would eventually leave Cerberus and be found on Gellix with a team of scientists who had defected from Cerberus. She didn’t want him to know anything that indicated that she would eventually tell him to go screw himself and return to the Alliance, taking the Normandy with her.

            _“How is she even going to tell him any of this without bringing up questions? He’s going to find out. There’s only one way around it, and that’s to make sure none of this ever gets back to him. Period,”_ Jane said.

            “What if she doesn’t want to listen?” Garrus asked.

            “I don’t know, I’ll have to find a way to convince her. That’s all there is to it,” Shepard said.

            “And if you can’t?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard shrugged and shook her head.

            “You might have to kill her, scrub her computer,” Garrus said.

            “That’s what Jane wants, but I can’t do that, Garrus. It’s not her fault that this happened. Miranda isn’t a bad person. She defects from Cerberus when I leave; she finally sees Cerberus and the Illusive Man for what they are. She helps us in the war,” Shepard said.

            “I can,” Garrus said simply.

            _“Let him do it, then,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard turned to look at him and saw nothing but resolute seriousness in his cold eyes.

            “I don’t want it to come to that, Garrus,” Shepard said.

            The turian spread his mandibles before closing them again and nodded his head. He ejected the OSD and handed it back to Shepard before shutting the laptop down. Shepard tucked the OSD in her pocket and looked up to see Garrus watching her. She offered him a small smile and was rewarded with a softening of his eyes. He flicked his fingers, gesturing for her to come closer.

            Shepard was happy to oblige scooting down the couch until she was sitting pressed against his side. She was delighted that she was able to touch him again; that he wanted her to touch him again. He draped an arm over her shoulders giving her the room to snuggle in closer.

            “Will you tell me about it?” Shepard asked quietly.

            “Tell you about what?” he asked.

            “Finding me. Getting me to Cerberus. The last two years,” Shepard said.

            Garrus was quiet for a long time until Shepard tilted her head up to look at him. His eyes were unfocused, haunted as they looked back on the past. Shepard hesitantly reached out to slide a finger under his chin and gave it a little tug. He didn’t resist, allowing her to turn his head until his eyes met hers. She bit back the apology that wanted to force itself through her lips knowing he didn’t want to hear it again.

            “Another time, maybe?” Shepard asked.

            Garrus swallowed and nodded. Shepard ran her thumb over his mouth and something in his eyes changed. She didn’t see a nightmare reflected in them anymore but overwhelming need. Garrus moved with a speed she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to. He pressed his mouth to hers hungry and demanding, pushing her back on the couch. His urgency startled Shepard but she let herself be pulled and pushed to lie on the couch where he wanted her. Garrus pulled away from breathing in her scent like and addict scrambling for his fix long enough to rip his gloves off of his hands and free his torso from his armor.

            He pressed against her again, his teeth scraping at her neck while his hands pulled and pushed at her shirt putting small tears in the fabric with his rush to feel her skin. Shepard gasped when a talon scraped across her stomach enough to draw small pinheads of blood.

            “Garrus, slow down,” Shepard said.

            The turian growled at her in response, shoving her shirt up and running his tongue along the scratch, lapping up the tiny droplets. It sent shivers down her spine. She reached for his head, grasping it between her palms careful to avoid putting pressure in the wrong areas she pulled his head up to look at her. He looked lost and desperate. There was really no other words she could find to describe the wild look in his eyes.

            “Garrus, I’m not going anywhere. Slow down. OK?” Shepard said.

            He wrenched his head free from her grip and dropped it to her chest, resting his forehead on her sternum. A low keening started to rise up in his throat before he choked the sound off and pushed it away with a shake of his head. Shepard slid her hand to rest beneath his crest, letting her thumb gently caress the ridge of plating and more sensitive exposed skin that covered the back of his skull. The keening started to rise up in him again, ripping its way through Shepard’s heart. It took him a little longer this time, but he fought it back once more. She could feel his jaw flex against her arm as he clenched his teeth and pulled his mandibles in as tight as he could.

            He took in a slow, deep breath before sliding a hand along Shepard’s waist and ribs forcing himself to move slowly and carefully. He started to pull his head away from her chest and Shepard let her hand slide away from his head to glide her fingertips along the edge of his jaw and mandible as he moved to taste her flesh.

            “Sit up,” Shepard said nudging his shoulder.

            He looked at her, pain and confusion filling his eyes. Shepard cupped the side of his face and gave him a soft smile.

            “Sit up,” she said again.

            Garrus did as she asked pulling himself away from her as she slid out from under him. She dropped her feet to the floor and stood up. His hungry eyes followed her as she pulled her shirt up over her head and dropped it to the floor. She slowly tugged off every other article of clothing standing in her way; letting them land wherever they fell. She reached a hand out to Garrus and he slid one of his into her palm. She tugged gently and he stood to his feet, his head dipping to nuzzle against her neck. She let him take in her scent before leading him to stand at the side of the bed.

            Slowly and carefully she undressed Garrus, running her hands along each of his curves and taking her time to plant gentle kisses along the occasional smattering of exposed skin. A soft hum began to vibrate through Garrus’ chest encouraging her to linger at her task. She let her tongue dart out to leave wet trails along his abdomen and hips before sinking lower to take him into her mouth. A hiss escaped Garrus’ mouth followed by a low groan. This was a pleasure she had had to deny him in the past after learning that her pre-Cerberus body did not take well to the ingestion of the thick, slick dextro-based fluids that coated his most sensitive area.

            “Shepard… don’t you’ll get sick,” Garrus said his voice gravely and deep.

            Shepard didn’t stop though; instead she rubbed reassuring hands along his thighs continuing to work her tongue around him until she could tell she was pushing him too far. Shepard released him, feeling the trembling in his legs as she kissed her way back up his waist and chest.

            “Not anymore, I won’t,” she whispered as she guided him to the mattress.

             He slid a hand around her waist and tried to twist his torso to pull her to the bed with him, wanting to lie her down beneath him. Shepard shook her head and resisted. She urged him to slide back and propped the pillows up behind him so that he was sitting more than lying on the bed. Shepard crawled on all fours to hover over him, kissing, caressing, nibbling, and licking every spot her eyes landed on before she moved to straddle him.

            Garrus’ reached for her, wrapping his arms around her waist as she settled herself down on top of him. Their moans echoed one another and Shepard leaned into him tilting her head to the side and offering her neck to him. Garrus rubbed his face and mouth along her neck and collar bone, taking in deep breaths and rolling her scent around on the back of his tongue. She moved her body in slow, long, drawn out motions savoring the feel of every inch of him over and over again. Running her hands along every part of him she could reach, Shepard poured herself into him showing him her love and reminding him that she was alive, she was real, and she was with him again.

Garrus whispered her name over and over like a reverent prayer to the spirits until the small hitches in his breathing urged her to move faster. Soon his prayers became desperate, pleading until their bodies were moving together, him driving up into her as she pushed down onto him. Shepard felt the dull, tight ache release with wave after euphoric wave triggering Garrus’ own release. He pulled down on her writhing hips pushing himself inside of her as far as he could as she spasmed around him. Shepard tried, but couldn’t pretend that she couldn’t feel Jane’s response to their shared body’s pleasure.

They stayed like that panting and holding on to each other for dear life for long minutes before Shepard slowly pulled back and pressed her brow into his.

“We should get going. Tali and Kal are waiting for me at the hospital with Lia,” Shepard said.

“Hmmm,” Garrus said noncommittally.

Shepard pushed his head back with her own so she could kiss him before slowly pulling herself off of him to clean up and get dressed. Unsurprisingly, Garrus was dressed and had his armor back in place before Shepard left the bathroom. He lounged in the armchair with a leg draped over one of the arms watching her as she secured her armor.

“So, what happens when we aren’t lovers? I mean, you’ve told me that we’re always close, but what, am I just left to occupy myself while you sleep with someone else on the ship?” Garrus asked.

Shepard smiled with one side of her mouth as she secured her breastplate.

“I can’t say that I know everything that you got up to, but I know at she helped you hook up with a turian in a bar on the Citadel. It must not have been too serious, though, because she found you and Tali getting real close later on,” Shepard said.

“Tali. Hmmm. You mean I’m missing my chance to finally see what a quarian looks like under that mask by bedding you instead?” Garrus said his humor evident in the higher pitch of his flanging.   
            Shepard chuckled before responding, “I know what she looks like. Every last inch of her.”

“That’s incredibly not fair, Shepard,” Garrus said.

“Hey, you’re welcome to take your chances with her still but I think it might break Kal’s heart,” Shepard said.

“Riggghhhtt. Because having you pull out your pistol to ‘check the thermal clip’ while I’m chatting up Tali would be perfect for team morale,” Garrus said making air quotes.

“Hey, that wasn’t because you were talking to another woman. That was because you were rubbing it in my face that you were willing to give her something I wasn’t allowed to have anymore,” Shepard said.

“Hmmm. That so? I suppose that wasn’t very fair of me,” Garrus said with a chuckle. “So you’re telling me that if I went back to that ship right now and carried Kelly off to a quiet corner somewhere you wouldn’t mind?”

“As long as it didn’t change things between us, why should I? Though I’m curious… thought you didn’t have a thing for humans. Thought it was just me?” Shepard said leaning against the arm of the couch to tease Garrus.

“You were gone,” Garrus said with a half-hearted shrug and a wave of his hand. “I branched out.”

“Uh huh,” Shepard said with a grin.

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t be with any other turian?” Garrus asked.

“Well, now that I know how much fun they can be…,” Shepard teased.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard laughed.

“But really, Garrus, I don’t expect exclusivity. That’s never been an important thing for me. I know how I feel about you, and I know how you feel about me. I hope you know it too, but that’s all that really matters,” Shepard said. “You could fuck every woman you came across – hell fall in love with them if that’s where your heart takes you and as long as your heart keeps loving me I don’t see the problem. Heck, I might even crawl into bed with a few of them right next to you.”

“Hmmm. That could be interesting,” Garrus said standing up and grabbing the laptop off the table. “But if you end up in bed with that drell, I’m not joining you.”

Shepard threw her head back in laughter before saying, “Noted.”

            They left the room and Garrus checked them out before heading to the hospital. It was easy enough finding Lia’s room with Kal pacing the floor outside working furiously on his omni-tool.

            “Commander, I thought that Lia could use some space so I stepped outside,” Kal said.

            Garrus gave one look to the quarian and asked, “Find anything on the kids who did this yet?”

            Kal rubbed at the back of his neck and said, “No. Not for lack of trying. Lia said they were both human males and that they didn’t appear to be very old. She estimated them at 19 or 20 years. She gave me their physical descriptions but I’m not able to get into C-Sec records to cross-reference.”

            “Here, let me try,” Garrus said.

            Shepard smiled at Garrus and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his mandible before knocking on the hospital room door. She heard a voice telling her to come in so she hit the controls and stepped inside. Lia lay on a hospital bed with a crisp white sheet tucked in around her waist. A blanket lay folded at her feet. Shepard could see several areas of suit along her torso and arms that had been patched. Anger welled up inside of her, seeing a patched quarian suit after an assault was akin to seeing a person covered with bruises. Tali sat perched on the edge of the younger quarian’s bed.

            “Commander Shepard, thank you for coming to see me. I – I don’t know if I will be able to leave with you now. The doctors said that it’s best that I stay here for a couple of days at least,” Lia said.

            “Lia, it’s your call. There is a wonderful doctor aboard the Normandy who I know would be more than happy to look after you if you want me to have you transferred to her care. If you’d rather stay here, that’s OK, too. I can always take you with me the next time I come around,” Shepard said.

            _“This doesn’t seem like a very good idea. We’re fighting a war for crying out loud. We’ll be fighting, under attack. She could get seriously hurt or worse,”_ Jane said.

            “She won’t be staying with us forever, Jane. I’m not taking her through the Omega 4 Relay, she’ll be fine,” Shepard thought.

            “Dr. Chakwas is a very good doctor. She helped me many times when I was on the Normandy,” Tali added.

            “I – I guess if you’re sure and the doctor wouldn’t mind…,” Lia said.

            “Dr. Chakwas won’t mind at all. I promise,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard, you should warn her about… Legion before taking her with you,” Tali said crossing her arms.

            “Alright. Lia… there is a geth on my ship. He –,” Shepard started to say.

            “Wow, really?!” Lia said perking up.

            “Uhhh… yeah. He’s a good one though. He’s helping me on my missions,” Shepard said looking confused.

            “Lia, you did hear what she actually said, didn’t you?” Tali asked sounding just as perplexed.

            “Yes, she said she has a geth on her ship! That’s so exciting!” Lia said.

            “How hard did they hit you?” Tali asked.

            Lia chuckled, “I know, I’m sure it sounds really strange. My family never understood it either but I’ve always been really fascinated by the geth.”

            “Well, I guess you’re in luck,” Shepard said opening her omni-tool and calling Dr. Chakwas.

            “Commander? Have you been shot at already?” Dr. Chakwas asked when her face came into view.

            “Ha, no, no such luck, doc. Listen, I’ve got an injured quarian –,” Shepard started to say.

            “Tali? Kal? What’s happened?” Dr. Chakwas switched over to her serious tone as she barked out her questions.

            “No, Tali and Kal are fine. Her name is Lia’Vael nar Ulnay. I was supposed to pick her up today to get her off the Citadel. This place is crap for a quarian on her Pilgrimage. I offered to take her someplace else. Anyway, she was attacked last night and Anderson put her up in the Huerta Memorial Hospital for me. I’d like to transfer her to the Normandy. Can you meet us at the hospital to fill out the paperwork?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes, of course. I’ll be right there, Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said closing the connection.

            There was a knock at the door and Lia turned to look at it before saying, “Come in.”

            Garrus walked in followed by Kal. The glow of Lia’s eyes tracked Garrus behind her mask. It was understandable, he was a stranger and she had just been through hell.

            “Garrus Vakarian meet Lia’Vael nar Ulnay. Lia this is Garrus, he was on the old Normandy, too,” Shepard said.

            Lia squirmed in her bed readjusting herself, Shepard could tell the action caused her pain and her anger renewed. She caught sight of Garrus snapping his mandibles against his jaw as he watched the injured quarian girl. Garrus dipped his head at Lia and said hello, she replied in kind. Garrus put his hand on Shepard’s arm and bent down to her so he could whisper in her ear.

            “We’ve got a lead on the guys who did this, Kal and I are going to go pay them a visit. Bring them in to C-Sec giftwrapped,” Garrus said.

            “Tell them I said ‘hello’,” Shepard said.

            Garrus gave her a toothy grin and said, “I’ll be sure to do that.”

            Shepard nodded to Kal who returned the gesture before leaving the room.

            “Where are they going?” Tali asked.

            “They are going to get a present for our friends in C-Sec,” Shepard said.

            “Oh. Oh! Good,” Tali said.

            “Hey, Lia. I’ve got to talk to Tali about some things in private and this is the first time her boyfriend hasn’t been standing next to her since I picked her up, you good for a couple of minutes? We’ll be right outside,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard!” Tali screeched.

            “What?” Shepard said fighting back a grin.

            “Kal is not my boyfriend,” Tali said.

            “Well he should be,” Shepard said.

            Lia’s laugh was followed up by a groan and a nod. Shepard laid a hand on the young quarian’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze before pulling Tali outside.

            “What’s up, Commander?” Tali asked.

            “Tali, I know that you’ve been sending deactivated geth pieces to your father. You have to stop. You have to tell him to stop,” Shepard said.

            _“Why are you telling her this? She won’t be able to stop her father, this is just going to break her heart,”_ Jane said.

            “Because she needs to know. If she can save her father’s life, it’s would be worth the chance for her,” Shepard thought.

            “It’s just pieces, nothing dangerous, Shepard. He’s using them for research,” Tali said.

            “Tali listen to me, OK? Your father is doing more with the geth than what he’s telling you and if you can’t convince him to stop it’s going to end very badly for him. If you don’t stop, it’s going to end badly for you too, but at least you’ll walk away alive,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard… are you saying… Keelah, are you saying that this could get my father… killed?” Tali asked.

            “Yes, Tali I am. I’m sorry. I’m really so, so very sorry. I’m trying to help you prevent that from happening, though, OK?” Shepard said.

            “And you’re sure? I mean, you _know_ this will happen?” Tali asked.

            Shepard nodded and pulled the bewildered sounding quarian into her arms. Tali’s hands gripped Shepard’s armor with all her strength.

            _“Tali…,”_ Jane said.

            “Keelah, what has Father done? What have I done?” Tali asked.

            “Your father is trying to learn more about the geth so that he can get you that house on Rannoch he promised you, Tali. He just made some mistakes along the way. He went too far and the geth he put back together came online… everyone on the Alarei died. The Admirals will learn that you were sending him pieces of geth and will charge you with treason,” Shepard said.

            “Treason?! But I… but Father said… oh Shepard,” Tali started to sob.

            “It’s alright, Tali. I’ll be there with you, I’ll speak for you and I’ll help you get those charges dropped if it comes to that. You’ve got to talk to your father though, you have to convince him to stop his research and get rid of what he already has,” Shepard said.

            “I don’t know if I can, Shepard. Father has always been so distant, I don’t know that I’ll be able to get him to listen to me,” Tali whimpered.

            “Tell him everything about me if you need to, if you think it will help. I don’t care, it will be worth whatever risk it might mean,” Shepard said.

            Tali snorted, “Shepard I don’t know if he’ll believe that. I was barely able to believe it, no offense.”

            Shepard chuckled and rubbed Tali’s back.

            “I’ll think of something. Keelah, I’ll report him to the other Admirals if I have to. If that’s what it takes,” Tali said.

            “There’s something more that I want to tell you while I have the chance. About Legion. He really can be trusted. He’s not like the geth we’ve fought. He doesn’t even consider them to be _geth_. He calls them ‘heretics’, they are those that accepted Sovereign’s word and allowed their code to be changed to Sovereign’s will. Those like Legion, those he still calls ‘geth’ are not as blood thirsty as you think,” Shepard said.

Tali scoffed.

“No, really, Tali they’re not. I’ve seen so much with Jane’s help and trust me… please trust me… the geth do not want a war with your people. If given the chance, they will co-exist with quarians, they have been working to clean Rannoch of the pollution left by the war hoping that someday your people will come home peacefully and accept them as your creations.”

“Shepard, they forced us from our home. They slaughtered our people. What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense,” Tali said pulling away from Shepard.

            _“She’ll come to it in her own time, stop trying to force her,”_ Jane said.

“Tali, I’ve seen the historical recordings from the geth. I don’t think that things happened the way that, over time, quarians have been taught to believe. Listen, just talk to Legion, OK? Try to get to know him. Ask him about the geth; the heretics. Ask him about Rannoch and the war. He might be hesitant to talk to you at first, he’s just as wary of you as you are of him, but I think that if you give him a chance…,” Shepard said.

“I’ll try, Shepard. For you. Because I want what you’re saying to be true. But if what you’re saying about my father is also true, then I need to get back to the Migrant Fleet immediately,” Tali said.

“Alright, Tali. We’ll take you there as soon as we take off again, OK?” Shepard said.

Tali nodded and sniffled. Dr. Chakwas waved at them from across the hospital corridor. Shepard waved her over. Dr. Chakwas walked through the corridor with the authority of a professional and people stepped out of her way. Shepard smiled wondering if she even noticed it.

“Commander, Tali, where is my new patient?” Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard knocked on the door again and when she heard Lia beckon to them, she walked inside.

“Dr. Chakwas, I’d like you to meet Lia’Vael nar Ulnay. Lia this is the doctor I was telling you about,” Shepard said.

“Hello dear. It’s nice to meet you. Mind if I have a look at your chart?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

Lia nodded her head and Dr. Chakwas picked up the datapad at the foot of the quarian’s bed. She ran her fingers over the screen flipping through the pages and frowning. She put the chart back in the little basket and opened her omni-tool. When Lia consented, Dr. Chakwas began scanning the quarian.

“She loves her scans, I’ll warn you now,” Shepard said.

“Don’t mind Commander Shepard, she’s just a terrible patient,” Dr. Chakwas said.

 _“We’re not that bad… she’s a very demanding doctor,”_ Jane said.

Tali and Shepard both laughed. Lia giggled herself but groaned right after.

“You’ve got several bruised ribs and lacerations. I hope you got a few good hits in on the bastards who did this to you?” Dr. Chakwas said.

Lia nodded and said, “I managed to give good enough that they gave up and ran off.”

“Good girl,” Dr. Chakwas said with a warm smile. “I’m going to go get your paperwork in order. Do you think you can handle a wheelchair or would you rather be moved on a stretcher?”

“I’m sure a chair would be fine,” Lia said.

“I’ll go get her one and help her get ready,” Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas nodded and followed Shepard out of the room.

“Commander, based on the locations of her suit tears and bruises, I’d say those hooligans had something more in mind than just roughing her up,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard scratched at one of her healing scars and Dr. Chakwas swatted her hand away. Shepard frowned but Dr. Chakwas held her obstinate, motherly stare until Shepard caved and crossed her arms.

“Garrus and Kal found something on them, they’ve gone to find them and bring them in to C-Sec. I doubt they’ll be gentle,” Shepard said.

“Hmmm. Good. I’ll see to her paperwork, be very careful when you move her to the wheelchair,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard opened her omni-tool and sent Garrus a quick message: Dr. Chakwas suspects it was an attempted sexual assault. Send them my warmest regards. Taking Lia back to the Normandy, meet us there when you’re ready. Call me if you need backup.

She closed the omni-tool and crossed through the lobby where there were several wheelchairs lined up against a wall. She pushed the chair back to Lia’s room but after looking at the mess of tubes connecting various machines to the quarian’s suit Shepard decided to wait for Dr. Chakwas to return before moving Lia to the chair. She’d probably be more comfortable in the bed anyway.

Dr. Chakwas returned a few minutes later and unhooked the tubes so Shepard could help Lia into the chair. Tali offered to push her, Shepard thought to help her keep her focus off of the bad news she just received. Shepard opened her omni-tool and sent a quick message to Anderson letting him know that they were taking Lia back to the Normandy but wouldn’t be taking off right away. She told him to come by whenever he had a few minutes.

Tali pushed her through the corridor and out through the main entrance. Shepard and Dr. Chakwas walked at either side of Lia. With her being in a chair, and it hurting to move her around so much, they opted to walk and take elevators as opposed to making Lia suffer through being moved in and out of a taxi. Anderson spotted them as they were nearing the docks and jogged to catch up with them.

“Lia, good to see you. You’re looking a little better. I hear you’re going on the Normandy. That’s good, Dr. Chakwas is one of the best, she’ll take good care of you,” Anderson said.

“Thank you, Councilor,” Lia said ducking her head in deference to Anderson’s station.

“Of course, you’re welcome, Lia,” Anderson said.

“Thanks for taking care of her, Anderson,” Shepard said.

“Well of course, what else would I have done? Even if the kid hadn’t waved your name around like a white flag, I still would have done everything I could to help her. I just wish we had something more on the guys who did this to her,” Anderson said.

Shepard smirked and nodded.

“Nuh uh, I know that look Shepard. Something you want to tell me?” Anderson asked.

“Garrus was with C-Sec, Anderson. He’s taking care of it, personally,” Shepard said.

“I see. Well… good for him,” Anderson said before looking up at the Normandy and letting out a low whistle. “Well, I’ll at least give Cerberus credit for their ability to make a pretty ship.”

Shepard scoffed and said, “Hello? Resurrected war hero standing in front of you?”

Anderson chuckled and patter her on the back before saying, “Yeah, but you’re stubborn enough you would have figured out a way to bring yourself back without them.”

“He’s got a point, Shepard,” Tali said.

“An excellent point,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard shrugged and Anderson laughed. They made their way through the decontamination process and onto the Normandy SR-2. Anderson stopped just inside to glance around and shook his head wistfully.

“Not quite the same, is it?” Shepard asked.

“No, no it isn’t but it’s definitely nice,” Anderson said.

 _“Just close enough to keep us complacent,”_ Jane said.

Shepard turned to Dr. Chakwas and Tali asking, “Can you two get Lia set up while I give Anderson the tour?”

“Absolutely, Commander. Anderson, stop by the med bay before you leave? It’s been a long time,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Anderson smiled at his old crewmate and nodded. Dr. Chakwas and Tali headed towards the elevator at the back of the CIC. Shepard motioned towards the cockpit and Anderson followed her.

“Joker! On your feet,” Shepard said.

Joker spun his chair around to see them coming and a grin lit up his face. He pulled himself out of his beloved leather chair and took slow, hobbling steps forward to meet Anderson part way.

“I didn’t think she’d actually get you to come down here, sir. It’s good to see you,” Joker said stopping to salute before holding his hand out.

Shepard could read the pilot better than he realized. There was a brief moment when he feared Anderson would reject the olive branch he was offering in the form of a handshake. He was afraid that Anderson would berate him for leaving the Alliance and going to Cerberus. She watched as that fear melted away when Anderson shook his hand with a warm smile and patted him on the shoulder.

“Joker, it’s good to see you. Of course I had to check out this new Normandy and see your ugly mug. Tell me, how does she handle?” Anderson asked.

Shepard leaned against the door frame with crossed arms and a smile. She watched as Joker discussed some of the improvements made to the SR-2 and pointed out some of the things he missed about the SR-1. Anderson moved further into the cockpit and ran his hand over the back of the leather seat nodding in approval.

EDI’s hologram popped up and she said, “Hello, Earth Councilor Anderson. I can answer many of your questions about the functionality of the Normandy SR-2 in comparison to the information that I have about the SSV Normandy SR-1 if you would like.”

“EDI,” Joker groaned.

“Yes, Flight Lieutenant Moreau?” EDI asked.

“Oh, this is EDI?” Anderson asked.

“Yes, sir,” Shepard said.

“She told you about EDI? Seriously?” Joker asked with raised eyebrows.

“Anderson knows everything, Joker,” Shepard said.

“As in…,” Joker let the rest of the question hang unspoken in the air between them.

Shepard nodded and said, “As in _everything_.”

“Well shit, that makes things easier,” Joker said.

Anderson chuckled.

“Thank you for the offer, EDI but I don’t think that will be necessary at this time. I think Anderson’s inquiries were more a form of re-bonding with Joker than a genuine request for information,” Shepard told EDI.

“I see. My databases indicate that human males often use sports as a forum over which to bond. Would you like for me to play a vid of a human sport?” EDI asked.

“No, EDI. Go away. Don’t make me mute you,” Joker said.

“Joker be nice, she’s just trying to help,” Shepard said.

“Thank you, Shepard,” EDI said.

“You’re welcome, EDI. Let’s just leave these two to talk for a little bit, alright?” Shepard said.

“As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said before collapsing her hologram.

“I’ll be in the CIC when you’re ready for a tour, Anderson,” Shepard said.

“Thanks, Shepard,” he said watching her walk away.

Shepard made her way to the galaxy map and moved it around, pulling various systems into view as she worked through in her mind where she would be heading after taking Tali to the Migrant Fleet. She still needed to go pick up Grunt from Okeer’s labs on Korlus. She smiled to herself as Jane’s memories of the juvenile krogan filtered through her mind. She wanted to go to Gellix, too and soon because she feared that Talitha was in serious danger. Since Anderson had ordered Jane to stop fighting against her, Shepard was able to remember that there was a Cerberus facility on Gellix and its main purpose was the study of indoctrination. She knew all too well what kinds of experiments Cerberus liked to run on test subjects and she couldn’t bear the idea of Talitha having to live through that kind of torment again. 

Shepard glanced up towards the cockpit to see Anderson pull Joker into a hug, the two men patted each other firmly on the back and when Anderson pulled away again Shepard saw Joker rub his palm over his eyes. Anderson squeezed Joker’s shoulder and Joker nodded. Anderson turned and Shepard dropped her gaze back to her map. The few Cerberus crew still on the ship suddenly made themselves scarce as Anderson walked out of the cockpit and down the CIC to Shepard. Anderson pretended not to notice, but she knew that his shrewd eyes were measuring and committing to memory every face wearing Cerberus colors.

Shepard smiled at him and beckoned him to come look at her map. As Anderson stepped up onto the small platform, Shepard moved over slightly to give him more room.

“EDI, would you please provide an overlay of the map we were working on last night in my cabin?” Shepard said.

“At once,” EDI said.

The personalized markers popped up all over the map and Anderson studied them intently. Shepard knew that he wouldn’t understand what all of her denotations meant but she knew that he would do his best to make note of them nevertheless. Shepard let Anderson study the map for a couple of minutes before pulling in to focus on Gellix, marked with ‘** & C?’.

“Do you remember me telling you about that woman, Talitha, that Lieutenant Girard called me to come talk down on the Citadel? She had been taken in the raids on Mindoir?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah, I remember you telling me about her. She was messed up pretty bad. I’m glad you were there that day,” Anderson nodded as the vague memory solidified.

“She got in contact with me recently, said one of the doctors taking care of her works for the people I work for and gave her my extranet address. She said they told her she’s doing a lot better. EDI said the message came from Gellix,” Shepard said tapping her finger under the ‘C?’

She watched Anderson’s face closely, noting the slightest twitch of his eyebrow when he made the connection she was wanting him to make.

“I think I’m going to try to swing by there soon, check in on her. You know, just the next time we’re passing through that system anyway. With the hell that poor woman went through… I just need to know she’s really OK,” Shepard said.

“I’m sure that hits pretty close to home, Shepard. Let me know how she’s doing and if there is anything I can do to help when you see her,” Anderson said.

Shepard zoomed the map back out and said, “I will, sir.”

“EDI, can you forward the Councilor a copy of this map. I would like the Council to be aware of the locations I’ve asked you to map. Perhaps they can do something about the heretic activity,” Shepard said.

“At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

Anderson’s omni-tool beeped and he opened it to see the file sent to him and nodded his head.

“Heretics?” Anderson asked.

“I’ll explain that soon. First, let me show you some more of the ship,” Shepard said.

She took Anderson up to her cabin first to show him the life of luxury that was living on a Cerberus vessel. Anderson chuckled as his eyes roamed over the room.

“Damn, I think that if I had a cabin like this on the old Normandy, Udina would have had a hell of a lot harder time getting me to step down,” Anderson said.

 _“Where would that have left us?”_ Jane asked.

“Who knows?” Shepard thought.

Shepard smiled and opened her omni-tool to scan the room for bugs. The omni-tool remained silent and Shepard smiled. Mordin had come through for her. She would still have to be careful with EDI’s access node so close, she knew that the AI was sending reports back to the Illusive Man. Although, she thought that EDI might be sending back a little less information than she had in past lives. Shepard spent more time talking with the AI in this life than she had before, and had started off what she hoped was a closer bond to EDI with the way she handled things back on Luna.

“It does have its perks, I can’t deny that,” Shepard said. “Like not being nagged to cut my hair. Though I don’t know, I’m still not sold on it. What do you think?”

Anderson turned and studied Shepard for a moment before nodding in approval.

“I think it looks good, it suits you,” he said. “Though I’m hardly the one to ask about what’s fashionable these days.”

Shepard chuckled and gestured back towards the door. They left the cabin and took the elevator down to the third deck. Miranda met them at the elevator with a sour look on her face and her arms crossed.

“Ah. Councilor Anderson, this is Miranda Lawson. She’s the magic touch behind my beating heart,” Shepard said.

“Commander, I hardly think it’s appropriate for you to be giving a member of the Alliance a tour,” Miranda said bluntly.

“I’m giving a Councilor a tour, something I am obliged to do as a recently reinstated Spectre, Miranda. Something, I’ll remind you that the Illusive Man agreed was a good idea in that it would allow me greater reach in this war,” Shepard said crossing her arms to match Miranda’s stance.

Anderson shifted to stand at parade rest, waiting to see how the situation was going to play itself out. Miranda pursed her lips and sighed.

“Very well, Commander. Councilor Anderson, if there is anything that I can help you with please feel free to ask,” Miranda said before turning on heel and walking away.

“She seems like a fun person,” Anderson commented.

“Oh yeah, a real barrel of laughs that one. Really, though, once you get past the tough exterior, she’s not so bad,” Shepard said.

“Hmm. I’ll take your word for it,” Anderson said.

Shepard led him out of the elevator and pointed towards Miranda’s office, which was once the location of Shepard’s old cabin, and Anderson’s cabin before that.

“Miranda’s office,” Shepard said.

Anderson’s lips twitched up into a smile. Shepard led him to the main battery and gently knocked. The door slid open and Grundan Krul stepped aside granting her entrance. Anderson followed her inside, his gaze flicking to the batarian standing in the room.

“Councilor Anderson, this is Grundan Krul. He was working with Garrus on Omega and requested to join us in the fight against the collectors when I recruited Garrus,” Shepard said.

Shepard held her breath for a moment, unsure of how Anderson would respond to the batarian both as a human and as a member of the Citadel Council. She released her breath when Anderson extended his hand to the batarian. Grundan Krul nodded his head and shook Anderson’s hand.

“Councilor,” Grundan Krul said.

“Pleasure to meet you. Shepard could use all the help she can get right about now,” Anderson said.

Grundan Krul nodded again.

“He doesn’t really talk much,” Shepard said with a wink at Grundan Krul. “Makes damn good coffee, though.”

She watched as his eyes tracked her facial movements but made none of his own.

“What, you haven’t cracked him yet Shepard? You losing your touch?” Anderson asked.

Grundan Krul’s lip twitched into a micro-smile before it disappeared again. Shepard pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at the batarian.

“He’ll come around. They always do,” Shepard said. “Anyway, he’s a good guy. Good in a fight. Keeps his wits about him. And like I said, he makes some damn good coffee.”

Anderson chuckled and glanced around the room nodding his head.

“They rearranged a lot, didn’t they?” Anderson asked.

“Yeah. They did. Left just enough to make it feel familiar,” Shepard said. “Alright, thanks Grundan Krul. We’ll get out of here and leave you to it.”

Grundan Krul nodded at both of them as they left. Shepard led Anderson to the med bay and was happy to see that Lia was already settled in and made comfortable. Tali sat in a chair next to her and the two quarians were laughing about something. Lia wasn’t groaning when she laughed, which probably meant Dr. Chakwas had given her some of the good stuff. Shepard moved to sit on the other side of Lia while Anderson and Dr. Chakwas chatted.

“I see you’re feeling better,” Shepard said.

“Dr. Chakwas gave me something for the pain. Whatever it was, it’s a lot stronger than what they were giving me in the hospital,” Lia rubbed at the back of her head before continuing, “It’s making me feel a little out of sorts, though.”

“I’m not surprised; most of what we keep in stock on the Normandy is used to treat people with serious battle injuries. If it’s too much for you, though, I’m sure she can alter the dose or something,” Shepard said.

“No, it’s nice not to be in constant pain. Thank you again for doing this, Commander Shepard. You have been so incredibly generous to me, there is no way I can ever tell you what this means or pay you back,” Lia said.

“That’s alright, Lia. I’m happy to be able to help and I wouldn’t let you pay me back if you could,” Shepard said.

“That’s just who Shepard is, trust me it confused me for weeks when I first met her,” Tali said.

Shepard smiled at Tali before turning her attention back to Lia and asking, “Have you met Legion yet?”

Lia shook her head.

“Would you like to?” Shepard asked.

“Absolutely!” Lia said.

“Alright, give me a minute to prepare Anderson,” Shepard said.

Shepard walked back over to where Anderson and Dr. Chakwas were talking.

 _“At least Anderson isn’t armed. Still, this could go really, really badly. He’s accepted a lot… me, even, but a geth might be too much for him. Be careful,”_ Jane said.

“Excuse me, Anderson, there’s someone else here I’d like you to meet. I don’t think I remembered to tell you about him with everything else going on. We picked up a geth,” Shepard said holding out a hand to halt his question. “His name is Legion. He’s been looking for me since the attacks on the Citadel. He wants to help.”

“A geth… wants to help?” Anderson asked slowly.

“If you’re OK meeting him, I’ll let him explain it to you,” Shepard said.

Anderson’s eyebrows had risen so far up forehead that it looked like they were trying to flee his face. Slowly he nodded his head.

“Alright, Shepard. I trust you. Where is it?” Anderson asked.

“Just wait right here,” Shepard said crossing the med bay to the AI core.

She could hear Anderson and Dr. Chakwas whispering in rushed voices. Shepard glanced back over her shoulder and Anderson nodded. She couldn’t help but to notice that he had stepped in front of Dr. Chakwas, putting himself between her and the door Shepard was opening. Tali had likewise moved to the other side of the bed, shielding Lia with her own body. She hit the controls and the door slid open. Legion was standing motionless towards the back of the room. When the door slid open he turned his head to look at her.

“Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

“Hey, Legion. Would you mind coming out here for a few minutes, there are a couple of people who’d like to meet you,” Shepard said.

Legion moved forward and crossed the threshold into the med bay before coming to a stop. Shepard heard Lia and Anderson both gasp. She turned to stand next to Legion facing out at the room. Legion’s optics opened and closed as he scanned the two new faces in the room. He zeroed in on Anderson right away.

“Legion this is Councilor Anderson,” Shepard said.

“Yes, we recognize him from organic transmissions,” Legion said.

“My God,” Anderson said.

“We are not your deity,” Legion said.

Dr. Chakwas chuckled and Anderson looked momentarily embarrassed before taking a few, curious steps closer.

“No, of course not, it’s a figure of speech,” Anderson said.

The plating around Legion’s optics fluttered.

“We understand,” Legion said.

“I’ve never heard a geth speak before,” Anderson said.

“This platform was designed specifically for interacting with organics,” Legion said.

“I see,” Anderson said. “You have a piece of N7 armor on your… platform.”

“It was Shepard-Commander’s. We found it on Alchera. There was a hole,” Legion said.

Anderson nodded his head, his eyes slid away from Legion to Shepard. Shepard smiled and shrugged.

“Legion, would you be willing to answer some questions for Anderson about the heretics and the old machines?” Shepard asked.

 “Yes,” Legion said.

“Heretics? Old machines?” Anderson asked Shepard.

Shepard nodded her head towards Legion. Anderson’s mouth turned into a tight line but he turned back to Legion.

“Who are the heretics?” Anderson asked.

“The heretics were geth, that chose to follow the ways of the old machine, Nazara and allowed their code to be altered according to Nazara’s will. They are no longer geth,” Legion said.

“What are the old machines, and Nazara?” Anderson asked.

“Organics refer to them as reapers. Nazara was what the old machine that Shepard-Commander fought on the Citadel called themselves. You called them Sovereign,” Legion said.

“Them? Legion are you saying that Sovereign was multiple programs running inside one platform like the geth?” Tali asked her curiosity getting the better of her.

Legion turned to look at Tali when she spoke and said, “That is correct, Creator Zorah.”

Lia reached out and tapped Tali’s side; Tali stepped out of her way.

“What do you mean that the heretics were geth but aren’t anymore?” Lia asked.

Legion turned his head, his optics narrowing and his plating flaring.

“We do not know this creator’s name,” Legion said.

“Legion, this is the other person who wanted to meet you. Her name is Lia’Vael nar Ulnay. She was injured recently and will be staying with us for a little while until we get her back on her feet and she tells us where she wants to go,” Shepard said.

“Creator Vael, some of the geth chose to allow themselves to be rewritten. They no longer process information the same as the geth. They are no longer a part of the consensus. They are no longer geth. An analogous example would be organic migration and evolution. We call these others heretics. It is the heretics that work with the old machines and fight against the organics,” Legion said.

“So where do the geth stand in regards to the heretics and the old machines?” Anderson asked.

“The geth oppose the heretics and the old machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the heretics and the old machines. This platform was created to seek out Shepard-Commander so that the geth could offer aid against the heretics and old machines,” Legion said.

“Why?” Anderson asked.

“We do not understand, please specify,” Legion said.

“Why do the geth oppose the heretics and the old machines? They’re your people, well the heretics at least. Why wouldn’t the geth wish to work with them against organics instead?” Anderson asked.

“The heretics are working with the old machines to attack the geth. We do not wish to fight them, but we will defend ourselves. We have no reason to oppose the organics,” Legion said.

Tali crossed her arms and said, “What about the Geth War? You opposed organics then. You killed my people and forced the survivors to flee from Rannoch. We’ve been in exile, forced to live on ships, unable to have a home outside of the Migrant Fleet ever since.”

“The creators attacked the geth. We only wished to protect ourselves. We did not wish to be in conflict with the creators. We do not wish to be in conflict with the creators now,” Legion said.

Tali huffed.

“So, the geth are willing to fight, alongside organics to defend themselves from the heretics and the reapers?” Anderson asked.

“Yes,” Legion said.

“And you’re helping Shepard now, against the collectors?” Anderson asked.

“Yes,” Legion said.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Anderson said.

Legion flared out the ridges around his optics once more studying Anderson.

“Glad to have you on our side,” Anderson said taking a few steps closer and shook Legion’s hand.

“Yes,” Legion said.

“Well, Commander, I hate to say it but I had better be getting back soon. Was there anything else you wanted to show me before I leave?” Anderson asked.

“Yeah, actually I wanted you to check out the tech labs and meet Mordin. Everything else can wait for your next… ah, inspection, sir,” Shepard said.

“Inspection, right,” Anderson said with a chuckle.

Anderson gave Dr. Chakwas a pat on the back and nodded to everyone else in the room as he turned towards the med bay door.

“Dr. Chakwas, Tali, it was nice seeing you two again. Lia, you’re in good hands you take care of yourself, OK? And Legion it was, uh, interesting meeting you,” Anderson said.

“Likewise Earth Councilor Anderson,” Legion said.

The three other women in the room waved to Anderson as Shepard stepped out of the doors. Shepard could hear Lia already throwing rapid-fire questions at Legion and she smiled. Shepard took Anderson back to the elevators and up to the CIC before leading him into the tech labs. When the door opened and Shepard entered with Anderson, Mordin walked around the table opening his omni-tool as he went. He stopped in front of Anderson and waved the omni-tool in front of him, scanning the Councilor.

“Woah, uh…,” Anderson said holding a hand up palm out.

Shepard laughed and said, “Yeah, sorry. Should have warned you about that. Mordin scans everyone. I think it’s like a handshake to him.”

“Nonsense. Handshake very different. Form of greeting. Scans used for gathering information. Completely different,” Mordin said looking at the scan.

Shepard sighed and shook her head at Anderson.

“Mordin, this is Councilor Anderson,” Shepard said.

“Am aware. Pleased to meet you, Councilor Anderson. Mordin Solus. Former STG,” Mordin said holding his hand out.

“Likewise. Mind telling me what the scan was for?” Anderson asked shaking Mordin’s hand.

“Don’t mind. Gathering scans of humans for use in stopping collectors. Collectors’ swarms target humans. Versatile range of human DNA will help to create vaccine,” Mordin said. “Also, suspicious mole noted behind left ear. Not cancerous.”

“Ah, thanks,” Anderson said furrowing his brow and fingering the area behind his ear.

“Happy to help. What can I do for you, Commander?” Mordin said returning to his console.

“I’ve reason to believe that Fehl Prime will soon be hit by the collectors. I think it’s a good shot for us to gather some more information for you and possibly help save a few lives in the process. I’ve discussed it with Anderson, and I’d like to ask Kirrahe and his men if they would be willing to go to Fehl Prime for a while,” Shepard said. “Anderson said that he could help convince Councilor Valern if needed. I was wanting to see if you could set things up with Kirrahe and give him details of what he should be looking for when the collectors attack.”

“Not a problem. Will contact him right away,” Mordin said.

“Thanks, Mordin,” Shepard said.

She showed Anderson the research logs on the console set up near the door and spent a few minutes discussing with him the planned upgrades for the ship before walking him back to the airlock. She stepped out onto the docks with him to tell him goodbye.

“Thanks for coming by, Anderson. I think it really meant a lot to Joker. And of course it gave me the chance to show you around,” Shepard said.

“Joker will be alright. I’m glad he’s with you; Dr. Chakwas, too. I hate that you have to be where you are right now so it’s good to know that you have people I trust watching your back,” Anderson said.

Shepard smiled and nodded. She shook Anderson’s hand, unsurprised when he pulled her into a hug. Her heart ached knowing that if she didn’t find a way to stop it, he would die on the Citadel during that last push against the reapers. Shepard wondered briefly if she could ever convince the old man to sit out the fight. She knew he never would, though, even if she made it crystal clear it would be his last. Maybe she could find it in herself to knock him out and leave him tied up somewhere safe where he’d be found later. The thought made Shepard chuckle.

 _“It might work,”_ Jane said.

“Something funny, Commander?” Anderson asked letting her go.

“It’s just so damn good to see you, Anderson,” Shepard said.

“You too, kid. You too,” he said giving her shoulder a final pat before turning to walk away.

Shepard saw Garrus and Kal approaching so she waited around outside of the Normandy for them to get there. She opened her omni-tool and send out a crew wide message letting everyone know that she planned to take off in an hour. She saw Garrus and Kal both look at their omni-tools briefly as her message reached them.

“How’d it go?” Shepard asked when they got close enough.

“It’s a damn shame, really. They never made it to C-Sec, they had to go to the hospital instead. So, we made sure C-Sec found them there,” Garrus said.

 _“Good. Sons-of-bitches. They deserved worse,”_ Jane said.

Shepard nodded her head and turned to walk back to the Normandy with the two men. She was standing at the galaxy map when Jack came sauntering in carrying a black duffle bag slung over her shoulder. Shepard smiled at her as she walked past her to head to the elevator.

“Two minutes to spare, nice,” Shepard said. “Glad you made it back.”

“Fuck you,” Jack said stepping into the elevator.

Shepard chuckled.


	9. Chapter 8: Mad Scientists

**Chapter 8: Mad Scientists**

            “Promise me that you’ll keep in touch and let me know how things go?” Shepard asked Tali as she pulled her in for a hug.

            They had made it back to Farlas as quickly as they could and Shepard now stood on the asteroid once more telling her friend goodbye. Kal had taken up position behind Tali and watched as the two women embraced. Garrus stood off to Shepard’s side, giving them the room they needed.

            “Of course, Shepard. I’ll message you as soon as something happens. Thank you,” Tali said taking a step back. “Take care of yourself. And Garrus, too. Let me know where Lia decides to go. I’m so glad to see her back on her feet again.”

            “Will do,” Shepard said.

            Tali moved to stand in front of Garrus before throwing her arms around the startled turian. Garrus chuckled at patted Tali on the back. Kal stepped forward and extended his hand to Shepard.

            “Commander Shepard, it was a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for your hospitality. I hope we get the chance to meet again,” he said.

            “I’m sure we will. Take care of Tali for me, Kal. And remember what I said,” Shepard said shaking his hand.

            “Yes ma’am, always,” Kal said stepping back to wait his turn to say goodbye to Garrus.

            When all of the goodbyes had been said, all the hands shaken, and all of the hugs given, Shepard watched as Tali and Kal disappeared into the crowd of armed quarians. She and Garrus turned back and climbed into the shuttle.

            “Where are we headed next?” Garrus asked on the way back to the Normandy.

            “Korlus. It’s in the Eagle Nebula. We have a krogan to pick up,” Shepard said.

            “One you already know?” Garrus asked.

            “Mmm. Grunt. Though I technically haven’t met him yet. He’s a genetically engineered, tank-bred krogan. We’re supposed to be going to pick up the krogan who made him, Warlord Okeer, but things get dicey and we end up with Grunt instead. Far better option, if you ask me,” Shepard said.

            “Get dicey how?” Garrus asked.

            “Okeer has entered into an agreement with a Blue Suns merc named Jedore. She wants him to build her a krogan army; he wants her money to fund his research. He gives her the rejects for target practice, I guess. I don’t know, he says that he gives her what she asked for but she lacks the ability to command. When we’ve spoken to one of the ‘rejects’, he said that he was ordered by Okeer to not follow,” Shepard said.

            “Another krogan breeding facility? That can’t be good,” Garrus said.

            “It’s not like Saren’s facility. Okeer isn’t just pumping them out left and right. He takes his time on each one, trying to make the perfect krogan. When he realizes that they aren’t right, he stops the process and releases them. We’ll have to fight through some of them, but it’s mostly mercs that we’ll be facing,” Shepard said.

            “This Okeer sounds like a real ass,” Garrus said.

            “Indeed. In the end, he lets himself die so that he can save Grunt. He’d been giving his krogans over to the collectors, trading them for technology. I’m not sure of the specifics, but he used that technology to create Grunt,” Shepard said.

            “So this Grunt has collector tech in him? Are you sure he’s safe? That he isn’t you know, answering to them or indoctrinated?” Garrus asked.

            “I’m sure. He’s a little odd, at least at first, but what else can really be expected from a krogan that came out of a tank full grown and ready to tear things apart? No real understanding of the world around him, just the information that Okeer implanted in his mind. We’ll take him to Wrex. Wrex will put him through the krogan rite of passage and take him as one of Clan Urdnot. He remains loyal and is there to help in the final battle on Earth,” Shepard said.

            They flew the shuttle into the Normandy’s hangar and waited for the door to close and the pressure to equalize before stepping out of the shuttle. They parted ways on the third deck where Shepard gave Garrus a kiss before he stepped off the elevator. She took the elevator up to the CIC and set the coordinates for Korlus before going to remove her armor and stow her guns in her cabin.

            Shepard settled into her desk to check her messages since Kelly informed her she had new ones waiting. The first message was from Miranda requesting that Shepard come to see her in her office at Shepard’s earliest convenience. Of course, Shepard really new that what Miranda meant was something more along the lines of ‘get your ass down here right away or I’ll come storming into your cabin throwing a fit.’ Shepard sighed before typing out a quick response of ‘I’ll be there soon.’ Shepard had been spending a significant amount of time in Miranda’s office as they negotiated what Miranda would tell the Illusive Man and how she would tell him. So far, it hadn’t been very productive.

            The next message was from Mordin likewise requesting that she come see him at her earliest convenience.  Shepard didn’t bother to reply to that message; she knew Mordin would find a simple acknowledgement of the request to be unnecessary and a waste of his time. A final message was from Kirrahe letting her know that his team was in place on Fehl Prime. He said he would keep her updated. Shepard responded thanking him and asking him, as a personal favor, to watch James Vega’s back. She told him Vega could be a hot head, and she needed him alive and in one piece.

            Shepard closed her laptop and stood, stretching her arms above her head to relieve some of her tension. She left her cabin and made her way down to Miranda’s office. She tapped on the door and waited for Miranda to tell her to enter before opening the door and stepping inside.

            “Commander, thank you for coming. We still have a lot we need to discuss,” Miranda said gesturing back towards her couch.

            Shepard nodded and followed Miranda back. She sat down and leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees.

            “I understand why you don’t wish to reveal details about the crew, and honestly it’s irrelevant. What about the genophage, though? Why is it necessary to withhold that information?” Miranda asked.

            “Think about that, Miranda. For starters, what would you even tell him? And would the Illusive Man – the man who thinks he has nothing but humanity’s best interest at heart – be conducive to allowing the krogan population to grow unchecked? Miranda, you know as well as I do that he would find a way to interfere and trust me, any interference could cost us the war,” Shepard said.

            Miranda leaned back against her chair and settled her hands in between her stomach and her crossed legs.

            “And what about his presence on this Crucible you spoke of? What is this Crucible and why can’t he know?” Miranda asked.

            _“This isn’t good, you shouldn’t be telling her anything else,”_ Jane said.

            “The Crucible is a weapon, a weapon we don’t even have yet and again, he would interfere. Besides for that, how would you explain to him that you knew he was going to be at a particular place in the future?” Shepard said.

            _“Maybe we can wipe her computer? Get rid of the videos and be done with this,”_ Jane said.

            “What are the chances she doesn’t have them backed up somewhere?” Shepard thought.

            _“Of course, you’re probably right,”_ Jane said.

            Miranda rose to her feet and began pacing the area around the couch and her bed. She threw a hand out in the air before letting it slap against her thigh.

            “I don’t know, Commander! But clearly these are important details and you could be wrong. The Illusive Man is not as bad as you think. He might be willing, and he is certainly able, to help with these things. What then, Shepard? What potential benefits are you ignoring because of your fear of Cerberus?” Miranda asked.

            _“Is she blind?”_ Jane asked.

            “Miranda, are you blind? I mean really? How do you not see what Cerberus really is?” Shepard asked.

            “Commander, I know that Cerberus has used some extreme tactics on occasion but we get results. You are living, breathing proof of those results!” Miranda said.

            “Do you really even know what all Cerberus has done?” Shepard asked.

            “Enlighten me, Commander?” Miranda said stopping with her hip cocked and crossed her arms.

            Shepard sat back and draped an arm across the back of the couch.

            _“Are you really going to do this? Will it matter?”_ Jane asked.

            “Let’s start with Akuze. My team died there Miranda, because of Cerberus. Cerberus scientists stood back and watched while my team was attacked by a thresher maw that they set on to them so that they could observe and take notes. Then I find out, years later, that one of my men didn’t die right away,” Shepard said her voice rising. “He was taken by the scientists who then kept him alive in a lab so they could run tests on him. They fucking injected him with thresher maw venom! That’s not even all of it, I’m sure there were more things that Toombs never got the chance to tell me about because the poor man was so damaged psychologically that he slit his own wrist on the Normandy!”

            Shepard rose to her feet and advanced on Miranda until she was standing an arm’s length away yelling in the other woman’s face.

            “Or, I know! How about the woman living down under engineering? She was taken away from her family and placed in a secluded facility where she was tortured and experimented on until she was finally strong enough to break free! Just so they could make the ultimate human biotic.” Shepard yelled and gestured wildly. “Oh and let's not forget about turning colonies into husks so that they could better understand the process. And of course there’s the experiments on other species as well, not that those matter because, hey, they’re not human!”

            _“Tell her about David Archer. We can show her David in person,”_ Jane said.

            “Did you know that right now, right this very moment there is a poor man in The Phoenix Massing who has been rigged up to a machine so that he can interface with the geth better? I’m talking stripped naked, suspended by wires this thick,” Shepard said making a circle out of her fingers to show Miranda the diameter of the wires, “shoved straight through his wrists and arms. Two more several times bigger rammed down his throat! He’s got this – this metal brace around his neck with little metal claws digging into his chest, anchoring it to his body and forcing his head back. Little metal claws forcing his eyelids open. You want to know why him? What makes him so special? He’s fucking autistic, Miranda! Autistic! That’s the kind of shit Cerberus does so don’t you stand here and fucking tell me that the ends justify the means. They don’t. Not even remotely.”

            Miranda held her ground unflinching under Shepard’s tirade. When Shepard finally wound down enough for Miranda to speak, Miranda pursed her lips.

            “Are you done, Commander?” Miranda asked.

            “Not even a little, Miranda. Because Cerberus isn’t done. That’s only a handful of things out of hundreds of others,” Shepard said throwing a hand up in the air before turning and sitting back down on the couch.

            _“She doesn’t even care,”_ Jane said.

            Miranda crossed the floor to take her seat in the chair and watched Shepard quietly. Shepard scrubbed her hands across her face before using them to push her hair back. She looked down at the floor between her feet with her fingers still threaded through her hair. She looked up when she saw Miranda’s legs shift.

            “I’ll need to verify what you’re saying… Cerberus is designed in cells so that one cell doesn’t know what the other cells are doing. There have been instances where people operating in those cells took matters into their own hands and broke away from the Illusive Man’s orders and –,” Miranda said.

“Bullshit,” Shepard said.

            “Excuse me?” Miranda asked.

            “You’re going to tell me that they did things he didn’t know about. That he didn’t give the OK to do. It’s bullshit. He knows. He always knows. Yeah, maybe sometimes they take things beyond what he told them to do but he knew it was happening and he didn’t stop it,” Shepard said.

            Shepard leaned back against the couch again; her hands clasped in her lap and looked at Miranda with cold eyes.

            _“Dawn, I can see what you’re going to say. Are you sure that’s wise? I mean really, we don’t know yet if this Miranda is going to take the same stance as the other Miranda’s. Things have changed, people are different. This could be incredibly bad for us if she doesn’t respond the way you’re thinking,”_ Jane said.

            “I have to try,” Shepard thought.

            “He’s going to start working with your father again,” Shepard said quietly, pausing until she knew she had the other woman’s undivided attention. “In a facility they’ll call Sanctuary on Horizon. Your father and the Illusive Man are going to lure people there when the reapers attack; promising them safety. They’re going to turn them into husks to see if they can figure out how to control them. Your sister and her family go there, to Sanctuary. We make it in time to save her, but just think about that.”

            Shepard stood up and crossed the room. Miranda didn’t follow her or call out to her to wait. Shepard left Miranda’s office and made her way to the elevator, taking it up to see Mordin. She ran her hands through her hair and leaned her head against the elevator wall. Shepard let out a big sigh followed by a groan. When the elevator was nearing the second deck, she stood up straight and smoothed her hair down before slapping her commander face back into place.

            Shepard walked into Mordin’s lab and smiled when she saw that Garrus was in there, too.

            “Hey guys, what’s up?” Shepard asked.

            Her smile started to fall when she saw the serious look on Garrus’ face.

            _“Something’s not right,”_ Jane warned.

            “What’s wrong?” Shepard asked.

            Mordin walked around the table towards Shepard opening his omni-tool as he went. He stopped in front of Shepard and waved the omni-tool in front of her but her eyes were on Garrus. Shepard felt a sudden sharp sting in her neck. She hissed and flinched, her hand moved automatically to her neck and then suddenly a gold light flashed around her and she was frozen. Completely paralyzed as black tendrils of energy licked out around her body. Her eyes darted around, the only thing that could still move, trying to comprehend what had happened. Soon her eyes couldn’t move either but she could still see and hear everything that was going on around her.

            _“Oh gods, it’s seeker swarm venom. This is what happened to the people on Horizon! What are they doing?! Why are they doing this?”_ Jane demanded.

            “I don’t know! Shut up, I need to listen. Try to find a way to fight this,” Shepard thought.

            “Is that really necessary? Couldn’t you just explain it to her first?” Garrus asked.

            “Completely necessary. Control chips in her skull. Could be activated any moment. Might be activated just by knowledge of chips. Don’t know. Too risky to explain first,” Mordin said moving into Shepard’s range of sight.

            _“Control chips? Miranda never implanted the control chips. She always told us that she had wanted to, but the Illusive Man wouldn’t allow it!”_ Jane said.

            “Apparently she did this time. That bitch,” Shepard thought.

            _“Should have killed her. Should have… should never have trusted her. What’s he doing? What are they going to do to us?”_ Jane said.

            Shepard ignored Jane’s rising panic and questions and instead tried to focus on getting her hands to move, her feet to move, anything to move. Mordin scanned her again and looked at his omni-tool before nodding his head.

            “Shepard, listen carefully. Very important. Used venom extracted from seeker Cerberus brought to me on Citadel. Used small amount. Effects probably won’t last long,” Mordin said.

            _“Probably?!”_ Jane screamed.

            “Probably? I thought you said this was safe?” Garrus growled at Mordin stalking into Shepard’s view.

            “Is safe. No collectors here to take her. Worse case she stays like this until I find antidote,” Mordin said.

            _“No. No, no, no. We can’t stay like this. Make it stop. Oh gods, what are they going to do? Why is he doing this?”_ Jane said.

            “You son-of-a-bitch, I should rip your throat out,” Garrus snarled.

            “Oh, I see. You already have an antidote?” Mordin asked.

            Garrus growled and started pacing.

            _“Garrus! Garrus oh gods, please help us!”_ Jane yelled.

            “Shepard, anomalies found on scans, understand what they are now. Control chips implanted in your skull. If activated Cerberus will control actions, words, possibly even thoughts. Don’t know. Need to remove them right away. Spoke to Garrus about chips first, seems to know you best. Agreed to your surgery. Told me interesting story first. Understand I must use extra anesthesia,” Mordin said.

            _“He what? Surgery?! No, no, no. We can’t have another surgery. We can’t. We can’t. It will hurt, oh gods it will hurt. I’ll feel it all, please don’t do this. Please, please,”_ Jane said.

            “Garrus lock the doors. Temporarily deactivated EDI’s access to labs. Don’t know how long it will last. Must hurry,” Mordin said.

            Garrus moved to lock the doors before returning to Shepard’s side. She could feel him rub a hand gently across her back. Mordin moved to the other side of the room where she couldn’t see him, but she could hear him moving things around. Her heart was hammering in her chest.

            _“Please, Garrus, please don’t let this happen,”_ Jane begged.

            “I’m… I’m sorry, Shepard. I hope I made the right call here. I didn’t think you knew, and Mordin said it would be harmful if you found out before he was ready to remove them. I only learned last night… I had to tell him about Jane. After watching those videos… I’m sorry,” Garrus whispered to Shepard. “Spirits, I hope this is the right thing. Jane, if you can still hear me in there, we’re going to do everything we can to make this hurt as little as possible for you but please, don’t fight this.”

            _“How could you do this to me?”_ Jane whimpered.

            Mordin came back into her field of vision carrying a syringe which he promptly and expertly drove into her vein after wiping the skin with an alcohol swab. Within seconds Shepard felt consciousness slipping away from her.

            _“Don’t…,”_ Jane’s words faded with Shepard’s awareness.

            Shepard awoke to the sounds of her own groans. Her eyes blinked trying to clear the blurry haze. Mordin appeared over her, his omni-tool moving up and down her body.

            “She awake?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard turned her head towards the sound of his voice and blinked her eyes some more. Jane was unusually quiet, the only indication of her presence a sense of disconnected unease.

            “Yes, regaining consciousness,” Mordin said.

            Garrus crossed the labs and stood above Shepard. She reached a hand out towards him but couldn’t quite seem to make it go where she wanted it to. Garrus grabbed her wavering hand and held it gently in his own. Her vision slowly started to clear. Mordin tugged at her chin and shone a light in her eyes, Shepard instinctively flinched away from the bright intrusion and felt pain lance through the back of her skull and neck. She groaned in response.

            “Shepard, need to check pupillary response. Please be still,” Mordin said.

            Shepard tried to steel herself for the painful intrusion of light. When the light vanished again, she tried to speak but found her throat too dry to form the words. Mordin handed Garrus a glass of water with a straw before adjusting the bed she was laying on so that she was laying at an incline. Garrus held the straw to her mouth and she took small sips, letting the water sit in her mouth for a few seconds before swallowing it down her parched throat.

            “What the hell did you do?” Shepard asked Mordin.

            Mordin held a small metal dish out to Shepard, in the bottom sat two small computer chips the size of peas. Shepard reached a hand into the dish and picked one up, bringing it closer to her face to examine. She could just barely make out the small metallic circuitry patterns on the chip but nothing else. She set the chip back in the dish and turned her eyes to Mordin.

            “Can put them back if you’d prefer,” Mordin said with a grin.

            Garrus let out a low growl and Shepard squeezed his hand in response.

            “I didn’t think it needed to be said, but allow me to make it clear to you: No experimenting on the people aboard the Normandy without their explicit informed consent. You didn’t need to use the seeker swarm venom to paralyze me, Mordin,” Shepard said. “If it happens again, I’ll throw you out of the airlock and find another scientist to deal with the collectors. Clear?”

            Mordin smiled and blinked his eyes before saying, “Perfectly.”

            “Control chips?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes,” Mordin said.

            “Thanks,” Shepard said.

            “Happy to help. Will save them for further analysis. Provide you with full report when complete,” Mordin said.

            Shepard carefully turned her head to look at Garrus. He pulled his mandibles in tight and clenched his jaw resolutely, but Shepard could see the worry in his eyes. She rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand.

            “It’s alright, Garrus. You made the right call,” Shepard said.

            She could see the tension pour out of him as his mandibles flared wide before coming to rest next to his face once more.

            “Is, uh, is Jane alright?” Garrus asked.

            “I think so, she’s quiet. I think she just wants to be left alone for now, so I’m not going to bother her,” Shepard said.

            Garrus nodded and said, “You didn’t… there wasn’t any…”

            “Screaming?” Shepard finished for him and he nodded. “Good. How long was I out?”

            “Two hours and thirty-five minutes,” Mordin supplied.

            “No one tried to enter. EDI came back online three times, and I had to shut her off again the way Mordin showed me how. I don’t think she’s too happy with me right now,” Garrus said. “Miranda did this to you?”

            “She must have. Although this is the first time as far as I know. She’s talked about it before, but always swore that the Illusive Man forbade her from doing it when she suggested the chip. I guess this time… with everything that happened… she decided to take matters into her own hands,” Shepard said.

            “So the Illusive Man probably doesn’t even know?” Garrus asked.

            “Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I’d be willing to bet money that he knows but didn’t stop her. He wanted the chips, but wanted deniability. That’s how he operates,” Shepard said.

            “What are you going to do?” Garrus asked.

            “I don’t know yet,” Shepard said.

            “Where’s Dr. Chakwas? Why wasn’t she involved?” Shepard asked turning slowly to look at Mordin examining one of the chips under a microscope.

            “Would have complicated things. Would have insisted on ‘informed consent,’” Mordin said making air quotes. “Could have been problematic.”

            “Alright. No one else needs to know about this for now,” Shepard said. “When did you get the seeker?”

            “While on Citadel. Cerberus operative delivered it to the labs,” Mordin said.

            “That was two days ago, why didn’t you say anything?” Shepard asked.

            “Wanted to run tests first. Confirm authenticity. Extract venom,” Mordin said.

            “What have you found so far?” Shepard asked.

            “Synthetic life form. Tracks victims through electromagnetic field. Venom uses dark energy and electromagnetics to paralyze victims. Need to study scans taken after you were injected,” Mordin said.

            Mordin crossed back over to Shepard and checked her pupillary response again before performing another scan. He applied Medi-gel to the already partially healed incision at the base of her skull. Shepard sighed as the Medi-gel numbed the area.

            “Had to shave small area. Unnoticeable with hair down. Might increase itching as it heals. Should be fine to stand now,” Mordin said.

            Shepard slid her legs over the side of the bed next to Garrus. He stepped to the side and out of her way, keeping her hand in his to help steady her and catch her if she started to fall. Shepard pushed off the bed and waited a moment to make sure her head wasn’t going to spin before she took a few steps. Other than the dull ache, she felt fine.

            “Turn EDI back on. Tell her you were running delicate experiments or something. Be convincing,” Shepard said. “I’m going to my cabin, I need to think.”

            “Shepard?” Mordin called after her.

            Shepard stopped and turned slowly to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

            “Would love to hear more about Jane. No experiments, just talk. When you’re feeling better,” Mordin said.

            Shepard bit her lower lip for a second before saying, “Yeah, maybe. Thanks again, Mordin.”

            “Here, take these with you. Will help with pain. Apply Medi-gel as needed,” Mordin said.

            Shepard accepted a small bottle of pills with directions written on them in Mordin’s impressively and surprisingly neat handwriting. Shepard tucked them away into a pocket as Garrus stepped up beside her. She did her best to smile at him but she wasn’t feeling it just then. He walked with her out of the tech labs and took the elevator up to her cabin with her.

            “I should stay with you, for a while at least,” Garrus said.

            Shepard responded by bringing his hand to her mouth to kiss the top of his knuckles and led him into her cabin. Shepard locked the door behind her before moving down the steps to settle in on the couch. She pulled off her boots and socks while Garrus got her a glass of water. She swallowed a couple of the pills Mordin had given her before standing back up to pull her shirt off.  Garrus’ hands caught hold of hers and took over, easing the shirt up slowly and carefully before helping her out of the rest of her clothes.

            “I’m pretty sure I can manage that on my own,” Shepard said with a chuckle.

            “Hmmm. I’m pretty sure you could, too but let me do it anyway,” Garrus said sliding her pants down her hips.

            Shepard smiled and caressed the back of his head beneath his crest. He purred contentedly as she stepped out of her pants.

            “Do you want it all off?” Garrus asked.

            “Yeah, I’ll put my robe on, it’ll be more comfortable. I’m staying in here for the night unless there’s an emergency,” Shepard said. “Damn, I wish he had let me take a shower first.”

            Garrus chuffed before reaching up to pull her panties down to the floor.

            “You took one this morning,” Garrus said.

            “Yeah, but that was hours ago. Armor makes me sweaty. I probably stink,” she said.

            “You don’t stink,” said Garrus with a chuckle.

            “You’re just trying to be extra nice since you served me up to the mad scientist on a silver platter,” Shepard said.

            Garrus’ head shot up to look at her face.

            “I’m kidding. Too soon?” Shepard asked with a grin.

            Garrus stood and pulled Shepard in close to him as he reached around behind her to undo her bra. He pulled her scent in deep and groaned next to her ear.

            “You don’t stink. You smell… incredible. If you weren’t wounded, I’d have you on that bed by now screaming my name. Spirits I love when you scream my name,” Garrus said with a purr.

            Shepard groaned as his voice tugged at her. It was something that no other man had ever been able to accomplish with something so simple. He slid the straps of her bra down off of her shoulders and stepped back from her, stooping to gather up the rest of her clothes and take them to the laundry chute.

            “Empty the pockets first. The drive is in there,” Shepard said.

            Garrus stopped at her desk to rifle through her pockets and lay the contents down next to her laptop before dropping the clothes in the chute. He stepped inside the bathroom and grabbed her robe off of the hook just inside the door before returning to her. He held the robe open for her while she slid her arms inside before tying it at her waist. Garrus moved about the room dimming the lights and pulling back the covers on her bed. He set her stereo to play some soft music, and brought her laptop to the bedside table along with her glass of water and bottle of pills.

Garrus stripped out of his armor, setting it down on the couch next to Shepard before he led her to the bed. He settled the extra pillows she requisitioned after their first night together on the SR-2 around himself to provide the support he needed before opening his arms up to her. Shepard crawled into the bed beside him, dragging the laptop along with her and snuggled into the crook of his arm.

            “How are you feeling?” Garrus asked.

            “Not as bad as you might imagine. All the upgrades Cerberus added do a lot to speed my healing time and curb my pain sensors. They got to keep me on my feet and fighting, after all,” Shepard said.

            “I don’t know anyone else who would take this as calmly as you are,” he said.

            “Trust me; I very much want to go knock Miranda’s teeth down her throat right now. It wouldn’t solve anything though and right now the cards are in my hands. I need to choose the right time to play them,” Shepard said.

            “Humans have too many metaphors,” Garrus mused.

            “Maybe turians just don’t have enough,” Shepard said.

            “Hmmm. Maybe. So, we’re not killing Miranda and you aren’t knocking her teeth down her throat. What are you thinking?” Garrus asked.

            “Use the chips against her. Convince her to back off on pressing for the release of information to the Illusive Man, if I haven’t already convinced her. I was in her office before I came to see what Mordin wanted,” Shepard said.

            “How’d that go?” he asked.

            “I yelled at her a lot, told her some things she didn’t really want to hear. Gave her something to think about and walked out,” Shepard said. “She’s probably down there in her cabin now cracking into Cerberus records trying to find a way to prove me wrong. If she is, then I pity her because she is in for a rude awakening.”

            “And if she has this ‘rude awakening’?” Garrus asked.

            “Miranda isn’t stupid, not by a long shot. When she has the evidence staring her in her face, she’ll accept reality. I suspect that she’ll be ready to hunt the Illusive Man down herself by morning,” Shepard said.

            “Really? You think she’ll go after him?” Garrus asked.

            “Maybe. But I’ll discourage her from doing it alone. I know where he’s at, if she’s really intent on it, I’ll take her there myself. Gods only know what all that will change, but I don’t see anything but good coming from removing that man from this galaxy permanently,” Shepard said. “Maybe that’s too optimistic of me. If anything I should know by now that the universe seems to love fucking with me more than anything else. Maybe he’s right, if I take him out of the equation someone new will just step in to fill the slot. Maybe someone far worse.”

            “Unless you choose who that person is,” Garrus said.

            Shepard shifted to look up at him and then winced when it put pressure on her incision.

            “Ow! Damn it. I hadn’t thought of that before. You’re right. You are absolutely right. That’s brilliant. Just like with the Shadow Broker, take him out and replace him with one of my own. Someone I trust and who will use that power to help in the war instead of trying to fuck everything up,” Shepard said.

            “What do you mean ‘just like with the Shadow Broker’?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard stared at the wall for a moment before answering, “Liara. She would have replaced the Shadow Broker. I would have gone with her to take him down and she… she would have slid right into the roll effortlessly. Like magic, one asshole Shadow Broker gone and a miracle worker in his place.”

            “You miss her a lot. I’m sorry, Dawn,” Garrus said rubbing her arm.

            “Yeah. I really do. I miss all of them. I tried so hard to change things, to keep everyone alive but instead I fucked things up and lost even more… thought I’d lost you, even though you were still standing in front of me. That hurt the most. When I woke up, you were all I could think about. Then when I found you and you just… put me aside… I’m sorry, I think the pills are getting to me,” Shepard said.

            “Get some sleep, Shepard. I’m not going anywhere,” Garrus said putting her laptop on the table next to him and pulling her in closer.

            Shepard let out a sigh and let her eyes close. Within seconds she was drifting away into a drug hazed sleep. Shepard awoke two hours later, she had rolled over in her sleep and tried to lie on her back but it made her healing incision throb. Garrus was still there with her, checking his messages on her laptop. He helped her apply more Medi-gel to the cut and she went back to sleep.

            The next morning, between the Medi-gel and her implants, the wound was nothing more than a tender scar. Garrus was still sleeping next to her so she lay there quietly and watched him. Eventually she gave into the demands of her bladder and tiptoed to the bathroom to relieve herself before turning on the shower. She didn’t let the water get as hot as she normally liked it because she knew from experience that scalding water on a still healing wound did not feel nice.

            “Jane?” Shepard whispered aloud.

            _“I’m still here,”_ Jane said quietly.

            “Are you OK?” Shepard thought.

            _“I’m… I’m confused,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard stepped into the shower stall and leaned forward, crossing her arms against the wall to rest her head on them. The water poured down her back without hitting her head too much.

            “Did it hurt?” Shepard thought.

            _“No… just pressure and sounds,”_ Jane said.

            “Well that’s good, right?” Shepard thought.

            _“Yeah… good. Why did I feel so much with Miranda and Wilson? What did Mordin do differently? Why did Miranda put the chips in this time? Where did she even get them, before she always made it sound like a vague idea she had pitched to the Illusive Man. It wasn’t something she had readily available to use. I don’t understand. Is this my fault? Did she do this because I was talking? Were the other times a lie and they were always really there? If so, why weren’t they noticed? Were they used? Were our actions our own? Could this be why we keep coming back?”_ Jane’s words came out in a flood, one idea spurring on the next.

            Shepard shook her head gently and said, “I don’t know, Jane. I’m sorry. They’re out now, though.”

            _“Yeah…,”_ Jane said before fading into the background once more.

Two minutes later she heard Garrus enter the bathroom and after using the toilet himself, he stepped into the shower behind her. She smiled as his hands wrapped around her and his chest pressed against her back.

            “You’re stealing all my water,” Shepard said.

            “Hmmm. Needs to be hotter,” Garrus said.

            “Don’t think my head would like that much right now,” Shepard said.

            Garrus pulled away from her enough to gently push her hair out of the way and look at the area that Mordin had sliced into.

            “Looks good. Does it still hurt?” he asked sliding his arm back around her waist.

            “It’s a little tender,” Shepard said.

            Garrus nipped at her neck and ran his hands along her waist and thighs before he said, “Hmmm. That’s too bad.”

            “Did I say tender? I meant it doesn’t hurt at all,” Shepard said arching her back.

            “Is that right?” Garrus asked moving his hands to explore her more sensitive areas.

            Shepard gasped and turned around to wrap her arms around his neck, pressing her mouth to his.

            An hour later and they were dressed and headed towards the mess hall. Shepard had slept through eating dinner and her stomach was viciously tearing itself apart as a reminder. Miranda was sitting at one of the tables drinking a cup of tea. A demolished muffin sat on a plate in front of her as she stared at it with a frown. She glanced up when Shepard and Garrus slid into the bench across from her.

            “Commander. Good morning,” Miranda said forcing away whatever thoughts were troubling her moments ago and plastering a smile on her face.

            “Miranda. Not fond of the muffins, I see,” Shepard said.

            Garrus watched Miranda with a cold stare. Shepard could tell that he wanted nothing more than to lunge across the table and rip the woman’s throat out but he restrained himself. Shepard retuned her gaze to Miranda who was looking at the muffin as if it might provide her with some insight.

            “No, the muffin is fine. I’m just… tired. I was up late last night and had trouble sleeping,” Miranda said.

            “Something to do with our talk yesterday?” Shepard asked raising an eyebrow.

            “Indeed. We should talk later, when you’re free,” Miranda said standing up and taking her breakfast with her she returned to her office.

            With Miranda gone, Shepard turned her attention to Garrus.

            “So, what did you guys find out about the names on that list?” Shepard asked.

            “So far we’ve been unable to trace two of them, Braden Ross and Terlus Cantis. We think that they must be aliases. I’m still working on it. There was another that linked to Binary Helix, Sarah Fairfield. The last, Bathele Namri, is one that has been known to make trades with the collectors in the past,” Garrus said.

            “Binary Helix? What the hell would they want with me? You know, I don’t think I really want to know,” Shepard said. “Do you know the location of Fairfield or Namri?”

            “I do, Fairfield is on Noveria. She took over the facilities after you killed Benezia and destroyed the hot labs. Namri is on Omega,” Garrus said.

            “Alright, we’ll work them in when we can,” Shepard said.

            “I’ll let you know when I find something on the others. The Shadow Broker is still the most alarming. If he’s after you, Shepard, he isn’t going to give up. He has agents everywhere,” Garrus said.

            “I know. We’ll deal with him, too,” Shepard said.

            Garrus watched her quietly for a minute before nodding his head and turning back to his breakfast. When they were finished, Garrus made his way to the main battery while Shepard went to suit up. She had EDI inform Mordin and Jack that they would be going with her groundside and to send a driver for the shuttle for this one. Twenty minutes later she went to the shuttle to find Garrus waiting with the others. She smirked but didn’t comment. They piled in the shuttle and waited for the hangar door to open.

            They hangar opened and the driver, a Cerberus member of the crew named Robert Dickens, maneuvered the shuttle out of the hangar and down towards Korlus. Dickens was one of many of the Cerberus crew who had dodged Shepard’s attempts to get to know him and truth be told, she was fine with that. She did however know that his family had been taken by the collectors in one of the earlier attacks on a human colony. It seemed like a lot of those chosen to serve on the Normandy had lost people to the collectors. It made sense that they would be chosen, or volunteer to serve on the ship that was tasked with taking the collectors down.

            The shuttle landed amidst the wreckage of what was once a city. Skeletal frames from destroyed buildings dotted the landscape. Hills of crumbled concrete and jagged pieces of metal littered the ground. Shepard and her team emptied out of the shuttle and took cover behind a fallen metal pillar while the shuttle took off back into the air to return to the Normandy.

Jedore’s voice could be heard over the loudspeaker saying, “There is only one measure of success: Kill or be killed! Perfection is your goal.”

“I already want to kill this person,” Jack said.

“Well, if you’re lucky you’ll get your chance,” Shepard said. “Weapons out, people.”

She moved her team forward through the debris. As they were approaching a flight of stairs, Shepard gave orders to stay low and seek cover. She moved up the stairs and ducked behind a metal barricade while firing on the handful of Blue Suns mercs ahead. Mordin used his Incinerate to light one of them on fire and the man’s screams echoed off the metal sheeting along the path. Jack used her biotics to pull one of the mercs out into the open and Garrus finished him off. His body fell back to the ground with a soft thud on the other side of Shepard’s cover.

They moved forward up the metal ramp and Shepard paused where Jane’s memories said she should find a wounded merc to pump for information. Instead she found a very dead merc taken down with a clean headshot. Probably Garrus’ kill, Shepard decided. She moved on, it didn’t matter she already knew everything the man would have told her though it was something she had wanted Mordin to hear.

They rounded a corner past a dead krogan and Shepard dove for cover, her team doing the same. Blue Suns fired on them from a balcony across the way, ducking behind the safeguard in between shots. It didn’t do them a lot of good facing biotics able to pull them off of the balcony to float around helplessly while being shot at. Moving down and around the corner more mercs showed themselves on catwalks. Shepard growled in frustration as she ducked down behind cover and used her Reave to suck the life right out of one of the mercs. It seemed so foolish to her, the way they kept lining themselves up to be shot down.

Shepard kept her team moving forward, from cover to cover taking down mercs as they threw themselves at her. She had to stop once to get Jack back on her feet. Sometimes Shepard was amazed that Jack managed to stay alive without armor but then she would catch the powerful displays of biotic destruction that Jack was capable of and realized that she stayed alive by making sure her enemies died before she did. It was that simple.

They rounded a corner and Shepard spotted a krogan firing at mercs on a balcony. She motioned to her team to provide the krogan with support, sending Mordin and Garrus towards the krogan while she and Jack provided covering fire. Once the last Blue Suns fell from the balcony, Shepard moved over to talk to the tank-bred krogan. The krogan turned towards Shepard and walked slowly over to her. Her team raised their weapons and Shepard raised a hand to halt their fire. The krogan leaned in close to Shepard, smelling her through his breather helmet.

“You are… different. New. You don’t smell like this world. Seven night cycles, and I have felt only the need to kill. But you… something makes me speak,” the krogan said backing away from Shepard.

While Jack and Mordin discussed the krogan’s declaration that he was only a week old, Garrus moved up next to Shepard.

“Can you show us to Okeer?” Garrus asked the krogan.

“The voice, “Father”. Yes, he is in the lab past more of you weak, fleshy things,” the krogan answered Garrus question, but directed it at Shepard.

“Listen, I know that you’ve been told to stay here but Okeer isn’t going to be here much longer and you’re going to be left on your own. Just you and whatever others like you that have survived. What will you do?” Shepard asked as concern for the unstable krogan settled in around her.

Mordin opened his scanner and waved it in front of the krogan. He muttered to himself while he reviewed the results.

“I will stay here until released. This is my purpose,” the krogan said as he turned away.

Shepard followed after him and watched as the krogan picked up a thick metal sheet that acted as part of a wall and threw it aside, opening the path for her and her team.

“But how will you know when you are released if Okeer isn’t here to tell you?” Shepard asked.

“I don’t know. I know that I must stay here and fight until then. I failed; I was not perfect and so removed from glass-mother. I must stay here and survive, resist, ignore. That is my purpose now,” the krogan said.

Shepard heaved a sigh and shook her head. Garrus put a hand on her shoulder.

“Alright. Thank you,” Shepard said before leading her team through the opening.

“Physically fit, mentally unstable. What is Okeer attempting to accomplish? Genophage still present in krogan. Krogan numbers not a concern. Wouldn’t send them out here to die,” Mordin said.

Shepard glanced back at Mordin over her shoulder and said, “He’s trying to create the perfect krogan. The ones out here weren’t perfect, so he cast them aside. They’re being used as target practice. Just one of the many desperate ways that the krogans have sought to reclaim the heritage the genophage stole from them.”

“Genophage was necessary. Krogan population out of control. Threat to entire galactic stability. Krogan uplifted, given technology and knowledge before their time. Genophage correction of that mistake,” Mordin said.

“Action was necessary, but I don’t agree that the genophage was the only or even the best course of action. The krogan have suffered greatly because of the genophage, Mordin. Something could have been done to help them rectify the situation since the Krogan Rebellions,” Shepard said.

 _“You need to talk to him about his work on the genophage. It’s important. I think our conversations help him to see the damage done. Of course, Eve really drives the point home just by being there but I think our talks are important,”_ Jane said.

More mercs rounded the corner at the bottom of the ramp and started firing, ending the conversation for the time being. The only cover was at the bottom of the ramp so they worked together to take the mercs out swiftly before charging down the ramp. More tank-bred krogans were in this area, they did not discriminate between the mercs and Shepard’s team as the last one had. Shepard switched to her shotgun and loaded it with her incendiary ammo. Jack used a Shockwave to push the krogans back, it didn’t topple them the way it would a human but it helped keep them from charging. Garrus used his concussive shots to take out the shields on as many krogan as he could before Shepard hit them with a couple of shotgun blasts. When a wounded krogan got a little too close to the edge of the platforms, Shepard used her biotic Charge and knocked them off to fall the several stories to the ground below.

Fighting through berserk krogans was grueling work but luckily they weren’t organized and her team was. They slowly pushed their way forward over the maze-like platform bridges laid over the looming chasms, connecting the scattered pieces of solid ground. Jedore’s voice boomed orders over the loudspeaker warning Shepard of the next wave of mercs before they arrived.

They pushed forward up a ramp where Garrus hacked through the security on a closed door. Sounds of gunfire and mercs yelling through their mics could be heard as Shepard led them up two more ramps. Jack and Mordin cleared the room at the top of the ramps of anything valuable before moving to cover. Shepard pressed her back to the door frame and hit the door controls. As soon as the door slid open, her team started firing on the mercs just on the other side. Shepard checked to see that their side was clear before moving forward to duck down behind the metal railing of the balcony outside the door.

More mercs fired at them from the balcony across the way. Garrus took one down with a headshot before moving out to follow Shepard. Jack pulled one from the balcony and Mordin set him on fire while he floated in the air. A few more shots and the mercs were all down. Shepard moved her team down the walkway to the next door. Diving in the room she drew enemy fire to her position while her team took cover. She used her Charge to close the distance, slamming into one of the mercs and knocking him back before ending his life with her shotgun. Shepard pressed her back to the wall and continued to fire from cover. Mordin used his Cryo Blast tech to snap-freeze a merc. Garrus shot the frozen merc, shattering him into pieces. More mercs filed out of the door, firing rocket launchers as Shepard pushed forward, claiming ground and taking cover.

            When the last merc was dead, Shepard moved to the door and up more ramps to other merc filled rooms. Turian, batarian, human; it didn’t matter. They all fell just the same under the punishment that Shepard’s team dealt. Shepard kept them moving forward, taking out every Blue Suns merc that stood in their way. Shepard hit that area of battle haze where she stopped thinking and was moving on instinct alone. Her instinct, Jane’s memories, they blended together becoming one as she moved from room to room, ramp to ramp, platform to platform. Shepard only stopped to check her team, making sure that injuries were slathered with Medi-gel when required and to let them scour rooms for tech and supplies.

            When finally they reached Okeer in his labs, Shepard put her gun away. She ignored Okeer’s greeting and send her team to secure the door and gather what they could from the room. Shepard walked up to the large tank next to Okeer and put her hand on the glass. Fully grown, and fully armored, Grunt slept in the tank surrounded by some liquid acting as amniotic fluid for the krogan. Okeer watched Shepard with confusion before approaching the tank next to her.

            “My legacy. Perfect in every way. Not that you can appreciate that, Shepard,” Okeer said.

            Shepard glanced at Okeer and said, “Here’s where you tell me all about how every krogan knows me because of my actions on Virmire, right?”

            Okeer chuckled, a deep, gravely sound completely void of humor.

            “Indeed, we do. But you did the right thing on Virmire,” said Okeer. “Those whelps Saren was creating were not true krogan. They would have stained the krogan, spreading their inferiority though numbers. My work here will renew the krogan, not just restoring us to our glory of days of old but raising our entire species beyond what we ever could have hoped to be with the Council’s ‘uplifting’. My legacy will purify the krogan; the genophage will be obsolete, ignored.”

            Mordin approached the tank and opened his omni-tool, preparing to scan Grunt. Okeer moved over and shoved Mordin back.

            “And you bring a salarian turian with you? Do you think to insult me with their presence, Shepard?” Okeer said staring Mordin down.

            Jack and Garrus raised their weapons, leveling them at the pissed off old krogan. Mordin stood his ground, blinking in boredom.

            “I quite honestly don’t give a damn if you’re insulted or not, Okeer. I’m not here to stroke your ego but to recruit you. The collectors are abducting human colonies, but soon enough they’ll move to other species. We’re going to stop them, and we could use your help,” Shepard said. “Though your help is secondary to the safety of my team, I suggest you not put your hands on one of mine again unless you want to lose them.”

            Okeer swung his giant head in Shepard’s direction, weighing her with his golden eyes. A smirk spread across the warlord’s mouth and he chuckled.

            “Perhaps you do understand krogan, Shepard,” Okeer said turning his back on Mordin.

            Mordin stepped back towards the tank and completed his scan, utterly ignoring Okeer’s glare.

            “I’ve heard of these abductions. My attention, of course, was turned elsewhere. I might have information for you on the collectors. I’ve traded with them, many krogans for technology that was used to create my legacy; my template of krogan perfection. First, you must get me and my prototype out of here. Jedore has grown impatient and frustrated by her own inability to take charge of the krogan I have given her,” Okeer said.

            Jedore’s voice came over the intercom and said, “Attention! I have traced the krogan release. Okeer, of course. I’m calling ‘blank-slate’ on this project. Gas these commandos and start over from Okeer’s data. Flush the tanks!”

            Gas began venting into the room and Okeer scrambled to secure Grunt’s tank. Shepard was already moving her team towards the far door, already knowing what needed to be done when Okeer spoke.

            “Weak-willed human! Shepard, you want my help then stop her! She’ll be in the storage bay with the rejected tanks,” Okeer barked.

            “I’m on it,” Shepard said leaving Okeer to scramble at his console.

            She ushered her team down the ramps and into the storage bay. She rushed in and took cover behind an incubation tank, signaling her team to do the same. Jedore stood across the room next to an inactive YMIR mech. Tanks started to open and one by one the tank-bred berserkers rushed Shepard’s team. The YMIR rose to its full height and started firing rockets across the room, slowly making its way towards Shepard. She switched to her ML-77 Missile Launcher and focused on the YMIR mech, relying on her team to keep the krogan off of her.

            When the YMIR exploded, she quickly switched back to her shotgun and Charged at the nearest closing krogan knocking him back before firing her shotgun into his chest. Shepard moved past him, dodging another krogan to get into a position of cover where she could fire on Jedore. Her team worked together to take care of the krogan before vying for positions to help Shepard finish off Jedore. Shepard didn’t make it easy for them, though, because she used her Charge to close in on Jedore and stayed in the woman’s face, keeping her off balance and removing her ability to use her rocket launcher. The Blue Suns commander was not nearly the match she thought she would be for Shepard and her crew.

            Alarms started to blare from upstairs where Okeer’s lab was. EDI’s voice came through Shepard’s mic telling her that the alarms were due to a systems failure. Okeer’s life signs were fading and the room was filled with toxins. Shepard moved her team back up the ramps to Okeer’s labs, already knowing what she would find when she got there. The door opened up to reveal Okeer’s body slumped on the floor and a video recording playing on his console.

“You gave me time, Shepard. If I knew why the collectors wanted humans I would tell you,” the video image of Okeer said.

“Damn,” Jack said.

“Loss of warlord unexpected. Still, his prototype could be useful. Contains collector tech, could retrieve some of the tech with simple procedures,” Mordin began.

“No. That’s not happening. He’s coming with us and we’re letting him out of that tank once we get him back on the Normandy,” Shepard said.

Shepard went over to Okeer’s console and turned to the others before saying, “See what data you can find. Take anything that even remotely looks useful.”

“But everything is in my prototype. My legacy is pure. This… one soldier, this grunt. Perfect,” Okeer said on the video.

“Suggest leaving it, if not going to use it for research. Could be unstable, dangerous,” Mordin said.

“He’s not, we’re taking him with us,” Shepard said.

“How do you know?” Jack asked.

Shepard looked at Jack and said, “I just do.”

“Right. Whatever. Makes fuck of a difference to me,” said Jack.

“Why not let him out now?” Garrus asked.

Shepard considered it for a moment and shrugged before tapping a few buttons on the console. The hydraulic lifts supporting the tank began to move, lowering it to the ground and setting it upright. The liquid supporting Grunt began to flush from the tank into the slots in the floor beneath him. Grunt opened his big blue eyes and they locked on Shepard.

“Move back, and stay out of it. I’ve got this,” Shepard said to the others.

Garrus hesitated only for a heartbeat before stepping back with the others. The tank opened and Grunt stumbled out, landing on his knees as he coughed the fluid from his lungs. He rose to his feet with speed and slammed Shepard against the wall. She expected the action, and braced herself for the impact, making sure her still healing head didn’t slam into the wall as well. She had her helmet on and it would have absorbed some of the impact, but she didn’t want to push it and give herself a headache if not a concussion. Shepard’s pistol was wedged between her and the krogan. Grunts forearm pushed against her collarbone, pinning her to the wall. His eyes slid away from her to take in the other three in the room before turning his penetrating gaze back to Shepard.

“Human females. Turian male. Salarian male. Before I kill you all, I need a name,” he said.

Garrus and Jack raised their guns, Mordin ran fingers over his omni-tool preparing combat tech to use against the krogan. Shepard raised her free hand towards her crew. Hesitantly they lowered their weapons but kept them out.

“Grunt. Your name is Grunt,” Shepard said.

“Grunt. Yes, it has no meaning. Okeer’s words were hollow, his imprint meaningless without a connection to me, he failed. Many words he spoke, warlord, legacy, grunt. Grunt will do. You command these others. Prove yourself worthy of that command and try to destroy me,” Grunt said.

“No. Fight with me instead, Grunt. Not against me. I fight worthy enemies, enemies you will be proud to destroy,” Shepard said.

“If you prove yourself weak, if your enemies are weak, I’ll have to kill you,” Grunt said.

“If you decide I’m weak, you’re welcome to try,” Shepard said tapping the pistol against his armor.

Grunt looked down at the gun and started laughing before he told Shepard, “Ha! Wise of you. Offer one hand but arm the other. I will fight for you for now. Perhaps someday I will have a clan of my own and I will be honored to pit them against you, human.”

Grunt released Shepard and she put her pistol away.

“I am Commander Shepard, this is Garrus, Mordin, and Jack,” Shepard said.

“I can smell the turian on you. You are his mate,” Grunt said.

Shepard offered him a lopsided smile as Jack laughed raucously. She touched her mic and let Joker know they were ready for pickup. She turned back to Grunt and indicated Okeer’s body.

“He died making sure he could save you. Do you want to bury him or anything?” Shepard asked.

Grunt walked over to Okeer and rolled his corpse over to look at the old krogan’s face.

“He was weak. Leave him for the scavengers,” Grunt said.

“Alright,” Shepard said stepping over Okeer’s corpse.

Shepard downloaded Okeer’s files before turning back to the group.

“Shuttle should be here shortly, let’s get down there,” Shepard said.

She led them back down to the nearest area the shuttle could land and waited for it to drop out of the sky. It was a little tight with the four of them plus Grunt, so Shepard climbed in the passenger seat for the ride. She glanced back over her shoulder to see Grunt engaged in a staring contest with the Mordin and Garrus. Jack sat with her head leaning against the shuttle wall and her eyes closed like she really couldn’t care less about the big krogan sitting across from her.

The shuttle flew inside of the Normandy and the hangar door closed behind them. Once the air pressure was normalized, Shepard hopped out of the passenger seat and opened the doors for those in the back. Grunt lumbered out of the shuttle and looked around the hangar before turning to watch the others climb out behind him.

“EDI, please ask the rest of the crew to meet in the comm room in five,” Shepard said.

“Right away, Shepard,” EDI replied.

“Come on, Grunt. I’ve got to introduce you to everyone and then I’ll take you somewhere to set up, alright?” Shepard asked.

Grunt shrugged his massive shoulders and rolled his head around on his neck before saying, “OK. Got anything to eat around here?”

“Yeah, we’ll get you something right after the meeting. It’ll be brief,” Shepard said.

They crossed the hangar and made their way up to the comm room. Miranda and Jacob were already waiting, Zaeed and Grundan Krul walked in right after Shepard with Legion not far behind. Shepard glanced around the room.

“Where’s Kasumi?” she asked.

“I’m right here!” Kasumi said dropping her Tactical Cloak and appearing right behind Jacob.

“My apologies, Dr. Okeer, but we expected someone much… older,” Jacob said in confusion.

“He’s not Okeer,” Shepard said.

“Oh. Well, where’s Okeer?” Jacob asked.

“Dead,” Grunt said.

Jacob raised an eyebrow.

“Okeer was growing krogans in tanks; he was attempting to create a pure, perfect krogan. Grunt here is the accumulation of his experiments. Okeer gave his life to make sure Grunt lived. Grunt agreed to join us,” Shepard said simplifying the story.

Miranda crossed her arms, “What can he offer us? We wanted Okeer because of the knowledge he possessed.”

“Okeer’s dead, Miranda. There was nothing we could do. He was working with a Blue Suns commander, a Jedore, and she decided he wasn’t worth her time anymore. Grunt here will prove to be an asset, I assure you,” Shepard said.

Miranda pursed her lips and nodded her head in understanding.

“OK, the krogan’s hungry so unless one of you wants to be his first meal I suggest we make introductions quick and get him something to eat,” Shepard said.

Grunt’s chuckle brought a smile to Shepard’s face. She pointed to Miranda first.

“Miranda Lawson. Commander Shepard’s second in command,” Miranda said.

“Jacob Taylor,” Jacob said offering his hand and then dropping it when Grunt stared at it in confusion.

“Kasumi Goto,” Kasumi said with a flourish and a light bow.

“Grundan Krul,” the batarian said with a nod.

“Zaeed. You don’t need to know my goddamn last name,” Zaeed said.

Shepard sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Good, I don’t want to know your goddamn last name,” Grunt replied.

“You’ve met Mordin, Jack, and Garrus. This is Legion,” Shepard said stepping to the side to indicate the geth half hidden behind her.

The plating around Legion’s optics fluttered and he said, “Greetings.”

“EDI?” Shepard said.

EDI’s blue hologram popped up in the middle of the table.

“Yes, Shepard?” EDI asked.

“Introduce yourself, EDI,” Shepard said.

“Hello, Grunt. I am EDI, it is short for Enhanced Defense Intelligence. You may access any of my nodes spread throughout the ship if you are in need of assistance or have any questions,” EDI said.

Grunt eyed everyone in the room, clearly unsure of how to look intimidating to EDI’s hologram and nodded.

“Can we eat now?” Grunt asked.

Shepard chuckled and led him to the mess hall. Mess Sergeant Gardner’s eyes bulged in his head when Shepard presented him with Grunt.

“Gardner, meet Grunt. He’s hungry, get him something, please. He’s going to eat about three to four times as much as even Kasumi does,” Shepard said.

“Hey! You can’t blame a girl for liking to eat. Being a thief is hard work, you know,” Kasumi said appearing beside Grunt.

Grunt turned his head to look at the petite human woman before saying, “She’s so tiny. She can’t eat that much.”

Shepard and Gardner both laughed. Kasumi pretended to pout. Gardner turned towards the refrigerated stasis chamber and began pulling food out. Shepard waited for Grunt to be settled down at a table filling his stomach before heading to her cabin to change. She came back down a few minutes later and Grunt was still shoveling food into his mouth so she stepped over and knocked on Miranda’s cabin door.

Shepard walked in when invited and settled into a chair across from Miranda’s desk. She steepled her fingers and waited for Miranda to gather her thoughts.

“I did some research. I… wasn’t able to verify everything you said, and of course there was no way to verify the things that haven’t happened yet…,” Miranda said.

“And what did you find?” Shepard asked.

“Shepard, I owe you an apology,” Miranda said.

Shepard raised an eyebrow.

“You were right. About Cerberus, about the Illusive Man. I found far more than I bargained for and I can’t believe that I never even thought to look that closely before. I should have been more willing to listen to you, I should have taken your warnings seriously. I’m sorry,” Miranda said.

“Now that you have this information, the question is, what are you going to do with it, Miranda?” Shepard asked.

She wanted to demand that she admit to the damn control chips and apologize for those, but she kept that to herself for now. Miranda got up from her chair and started pacing the room. Her fingertips worried at her hairline as she thought.

“I don’t know. What can I do? We’re talking about a secret organization here with a reach even further than either of us is likely to know… and right now, we need Cerberus to stop the collectors,” Miranda said.

“So we use what we can for now, and when we come across something that we can stop, we do,” Shepard offered.

 _“That’s it? I thought you wanted to go kill the Illusive Man?”_ Jane asked.

“I do, but I don’t want to rush this. If I push her too much, I could lose her,” Shepard thought.

Miranda turned towards Shepard and nodded her head before saying, “I... I don’t know, Shepard. I need to think about this. I wanted to tell you though; you don’t need to worry about the videos. I’m not sending anything to the Illusive Man and your secrets are safe.”

 _“That’s unexpected. I didn’t think she’d cooperate. Ask her about the chips,”_ Jane said.

“Not yet,” Shepard thought.

“Thank you, Miranda,” Shepard said.

“Yes, of course. Before you leave… I need to ask you for something,” Miranda said.

“About your sister?” Shepard asked rising to her feet.

“Yes,” Miranda said.

“Contact’s on Illium?” Shepard asked.

“Right. It shouldn’t take a lot of time, I just want to make sure –,” Miranda said.

Shepard held up a hand to halt her before saying, “It’s alright Miranda. We’ll help Oriana. We’ve got to go to Illium soon anyway. The Illusive Man should be forwarding me more dossiers soon, two of which are located on Illium. We’ve got time. For now, just report to the Illusive Man as usual. Let him know about Grunt, and Okeer’s death.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you, Shepard,” Miranda said.

Shepard nodded her head and left Miranda’s office to grab something to eat herself. Gardner had a tray ready for her, piled high with thick slices of fried ham and eggs. Shepard thanked him and carried the tray over to sit across from Grunt. She used her fork to cut off a piece of ham and put it in her mouth while watching the krogan rip into a hunk of ham with hands and teeth alone. He studied her while he barely chewed his food, swallowing most of it whole.

“Do you have any questions?” Shepard asked in between bites.

“When do we start killing things?” Grunt asked around the food in his mouth.

“Quite likely at our next destination,” Shepard said.

“Good,” Grunt said and that was that.

Shepard cleaned her plate and waited for Grunt to finally finish his before walking with him back over to Gardner to deliver their used dishes to the Mess Sergeant. She then led Grunt to the elevator and down to the engineering deck to the port cargo. EDI unlocked the door for them and Shepard hit the controls to open the door before leading Grunt inside.

“This will be your area. We’ll get you a cot set up if you like, and you can store your belongings in here. This room is normally cargo, so from time to time you may need to allow others to enter to store or retrieve something but it shouldn’t be a common occurrence. Otherwise, you’re free to check out the rest of the ship and the meet everyone onboard,” Shepard said.

Grunt looked around the room for a minute before asking, “Can I move things around?”

“Sure, as long as it isn’t bolted down or going to break anything. If you aren’t sure, EDI can tell you what’s safe to move,” Shepard said.

“EDI, the blue thing,” Grunt said.

“Yeah, she’s an AI,” Shepard said.

“Like the geth you called Legion,” Grunt said.

“Yeah. That a problem for you?” Shepard asked.

“Not unless they make themselves problems for me,” Grunt said.

“Good, glad to hear it. I’ll leave you to get settled in. I’m going back up to the CIC to set course for our next destination,” Shepard said turning to leave.

“What’s Cerberus?” Grunt asked.

Shepard halted in her tracks and turned back to face the young krogan. She leaned a hip against the wall and crossed her arms.

“Cerberus is a secretive human organization. They claim to only want to look after humanity’s interests, but many of their methods are deplorable. I am not a fan of Cerberus. Unfortunately, right now, they’re the only ones who can give me what I need to take down the collectors. Consider it a temporary alliance,” Shepard said.

Grunt nodded his head thoughtfully but didn’t say anything else. Shepard waited a couple of minutes before heading towards the door once more.

“If you have anything else you want to ask me, come find me or ask EDI to notify me and I’ll come see you when I’m free,” Shepard said as she left the port cargo.

Back at the galaxy map, Shepard entered the coordinates for Gellix. She needed to know that Talitha was alright and having the chance this life, she was going to see if she could put a dent in Cerberus’ indoctrination efforts. Shepard closed the map and made her way to the elevator, taking it up to her cabin.

Shepard had barely settled into her desk chair when EDI’s hologram activated.

“Ms. Vael has entered your cabin as her destination on the elevator. Shall I allow her in?” EDI asked.

“Yes, EDI. Thanks,” Shepard said.

A minute later the cabin door slid open and the young quarian stepped hesitantly inside. Shepard stood up from her desk and gestured towards the stairs that led to her couch.

“Hey, Lia. Come on in, have a seat,” Shepard said.

“Oh, uh, OK. Thanks,” Lia said moving down into the private areas of the cabin.

Shepard settled down on the couch across from Lia.

“Did you figure out where you wanted to go?” Shepard asked.

“Well, about that… I was wondering if… that is if it wouldn’t be too much trouble… I’d really like to stay on the Normandy for a while,” Lia said.

Shepard leaned back against the cushions and studied the nervous quarian.

 _“Oh don’t act like you didn’t see that coming,”_ Jane said.

“What about your Pilgrimage?” Shepard asked.

“I don’t know, honestly. I just… I like it here and I really like being able to talk to Legion. Everyone has been so nice to me and… maybe I could help out somehow. Legion is teaching me about code and hacking, and Dr. Chakwas is teaching me about medicine so maybe I can even go on a mission sometime,” Lia said hopefully.

Shepard smiled and said, “Tali’s going to kill me for this. Alright, Lia. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. Who knows, maybe we’ll find something for your Pilgrimage. You need to know though, and I mean really, really know that this is going to be dangerous. You could be hurt or killed.”

Lia perked up and nodded her head rapidly saying, “Oh, thank you! I know, I mean, I understand the dangers involved and I promise that I will do whatever you say and… oh, thank you!”

Shepard laughed at her enthusiasm and waved her off.

“Go on, go tell everyone you’re staying,” Shepard said.

Lia all but raced from the cabin and Shepard settled back in at her desk. She opened the laptop and reviewed her messages. There was already one from the Illusive Man commenting on Shepard’s decision to bring Grunt along in Okeer’s place but stating that it was her call. New dossiers for Thane and Samara were attached to a second message from the Illusive Man. Shepard nibbled at her lip. Normally she would receive a dossier for Tali at the same time. She knew where Tali was through, and she knew Tali was doing what she needed to do. She would see her friend again soon enough.


	10. Chapter 9: For The Best

**Chapter 9: For The Best**

            “Why are we going to Gellix, Commander? There hasn’t been anything about Gellix in any of the mission files,” Miranda asked.

            “Consider this one a personal mission,” Shepard said.

            “Personal?” Jacob asked from his seat next to Miranda.

            They were in the shuttle headed towards the Cerberus facility. Shepard had insisted that Jacob and Miranda be the ones to go, and be the only ones to go to Gellix. Garrus didn’t understand her reasons, but acquiesced when she insisted. He hadn’t wanted to leave her side for long since Mordin cut her head open and fished out those control chips.

            “I received a message awhile back from a woman I know named Talitha. She said she was in a ‘special school’ and that the doctors said she was getting better. I did some research after something she said struck a chord. It’s a Cerberus facility,” Shepard said holding up a hand. “I don’t want to argue about Cerberus, I just want to make sure that Talitha is alright. She’s important to me. She was abducted during the raids on Mindoir and was in really bad shape when the Alliance found her a few years ago.”

            “That’s why you wanted Miranda and me to come for this one. I heard you telling Garrus that you just wanted us two. Because it’s Cerberus, right?” Jacob asked glancing at Miranda.

            “In part. I wanted Miranda mostly for her understanding of Cerberus and because she’ll be able to get us into the facility if they give me any trouble. I wanted you because you’re human, and have a soothing personality,” Shepard said with a grin.

            “Uh, um, thanks. I think,” Jacob said.

            “It’s a compliment, Jacob. Talitha was seriously screwed up by the batarians. Obviously I couldn’t bring Grundan Krul, but I didn’t want to introduce anyone non-human until I know her current state of mind. I know I haven’t been in to talk to you much, but I’ve got a pretty good feel on your personality, Jacob. Especially with the way you responded to me when I woke up on that slab. You’re good people. If Talitha is in trouble, she needs good people to help her,” Shepard said.

            Jacob smiled and said, “So you brought me to play therapist because Chambers isn’t field material?”

            “Something like that,” Shepard said with a chuckle.

            “I can do that,” Jacob said with a nod.

            “Do we know what this cell does, Commander?” Miranda asked.

            _“They indoctrinate people, Miranda because that’s the kind of shit Cerberus does,”_ Jane said.

            “I guess we’ll just have to see,” Shepard said meeting Miranda’s gaze.

            “We’re landing,” Jacob said looking towards the driver’s seat.

            The shuttle settled down on the snowy landing pad of the Cerberus facility hidden away in the mountains. Guards – Cerberus Commandos – approached the shuttle; they were armed but hadn’t drawn their weapons. The shuttle was clearly marked as Cerberus so Shepard didn’t anticipate too much trouble getting in. Getting back out, on the other hand, could be problematic. Shepard slid the shuttles door open and stepped out onto the landing pad. Miranda and Jacob were right behind her.

            “We weren’t told to expect anyone new?” one of the guards said.

            “We’re not joining your cell, we’re here for a visit,” Miranda said.

            “A visit? What like an inspection or something?” the other guard asked.

            “No, nothing like that. We just need to see someone here, is all,” Jacob said.

            The guards turned to look at Jacob before asking, “Well, who are you here to see?”

            “A friend of mine. Her name is Talitha,” Shepard said.

            “Talitha? I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re going to have to clear this first,” the first guard said stepping away from Shepard’s group to talk into his mic.

            Shepard glanced at Miranda. She nodded to Shepard in response.

            “Authorization code: Alpha 4359654. Project leader Miranda Lawson. Now let us in, you buffoon. It’s cold out here,” Miranda said.

            _“Remember that, you hear me? Authorization code: Alpha 4359654. Authorization code: Alpha 4359654. Authorization code: Alpha 4359654. Don’t forget it, we’ve never gotten it before we can use this,”_ Jane said.

            “I got it,” Shepard thought.

            “Yes, of course, sorry Ms. Lawson. Henry, they’re good, let them in,” the second guard said.

            The first guard, Henry, turned back to his partner and nodded. The two guards led them down the stairs and towards the facility. They passed two more guards at the next set of stairs, and another two stood at the main entrance. Jane’s memories of rescuing Jacob and his team of ex-Cerberus scientists from this location ran through her mind. Her eyes lifted to the satellite and AA tower on the facility’s roof.

            Their escorts stopped to talk to the two guards at the main entrance. The guards nodded their heads and stepped aside while the massive doors slid apart, opening the facility to them. Shepard followed the guards leading her into the facility and glanced around. Escape shuttles sat directly in a trench directly in front of her with more hanging from cranes above and filling the recess to the right, stairs to the left led up to another door.

            The guards led Shepard and her team up the stairs and presented them to a man in a lab coat working at a terminal just outside of the door.

            “Dr. Weiss, this is Project leader Miranda Lawson. They say that they’ve come to visit Talitha,” the guard said.

            The man looked up from his terminal and eyed Miranda speculatively before flicking his gaze to Jacob and finally Shepard.

            “Talitha?” Dr. Weiss asked.

            _“Why do they keep sounding surprised to hear that you want to see Talitha? That can’t be a good sign,”_ Jane said.

            “Yeah, I got that,” Shepard thought.

            “Yes sir. She had an Alpha authorization code,” the guard said.

            “I see. Thank you, Jerome. You two can return to your post,” Dr. Weiss said.

            “Yes sir,” Jerome said before he and Henry walked back down the stairs.

            “May I ask why it is you wish to see Talitha?” Dr. Weiss asked Miranda.

            “I want to check on her progress, that’s all you need to know,” Miranda said.

            “I see, very well. I’ll have someone take you to her,” Dr. Weiss said.

            He passed through the door, leading the group in and up another flight of stairs. Two more men in lab coats worked at nearby terminals. They didn’t even bother to glance Shepard’s way. The door at the top opened for Dr. Weiss revealing two more armed guards. The guards turned to look at the doctor, halting him to question who Shepard, Miranda, and Jacob were. Shepard stood to the back, letting Miranda take the lead as much as possible.

            “They’re here to see Talitha,” Dr. Weiss said before turning to look at Miranda. “I’m sorry, what was your authorization code?”

            “Authorization code: Alpha 4359654. Project leader Miranda Lawson,” Miranda rattled off.

            “Right. Take them to Dr. Logan,” Dr. Weiss said.

            “Yes sir,” one of the guards said before waving at Miranda to follow.

            He led them up another flight of stairs. Men and women in pristine white lab coats bearing the Cerberus logo moved up and down the stairs past them. At the top of the stairs, more doctors and scientists worked at terminals. Shepard had counted fifteen so far, they didn’t appear to be armed but that didn’t mean they weren’t dangerous. Shepard raised a fist to her mouth and coughed once.

            “I’m in position. Ready for your signal,” Kasumi’s voice whispered through Shepard’s headset.

            The guard wove his way through the people in white coats until he came to a stop at the main controls console in front of the windows overlooking the facility grounds. He whispered to a woman in a lab coat who turned to look at the three of them. Shepard forced a smile on her face when the woman’s eyes met hers. She turned away from the console and crossed the few feet between Miranda and herself.

            “I’m Dr. Logan. I’ve been told you have an Alpha authorization code and wish to see Talitha? Talitha is still in a delicate state, Ms. Lawson. Might I ask what exactly this visit is for?” Dr. Logan said.

            Shepard’s shoulders tensed. She took in the smaller woman’s frame, noting the slight limp she had when she walked. Her left leg was a weak point, and by Shepard’s judgement it was her knee that caused the limp. She wore her blond hair up in a tight bun, which was good Shepard thought, it would be easier to put her in a chokehold without her hair making it difficult to get a grip. Miranda sighed and looked at her fingernails before answering the woman.

            “As I’ve already told your guards, I’m here to check on her progress. Is there a problem? Should I call the Illusive Man?” Miranda asked.

            “No, of course not. That won’t be necessary. Right this way, please,” Dr. Logan said.

            Shepard relaxed and followed the doctor as she led them to the room she remembered talking to Jacob in when he was having his gunshot examined. Several beds filled the floor, on each bed a person lay strapped down. Wires and tubes running through their skin and into their bodies. Plastic bits shoved into their mouth to keep them from clenching their teeth.

            _“Oh gods. Is that in us? Is that what she put in us? Oh gods,”_ Jane said, that old familiar panic starting to set in again.

            “I don’t think that’s what inside of me, Jane. Calm down,” Shepard thought.

            Jacob stopped in his tracks causing Shepard to nearly run into his back.

            “What the hell are you guys doing here?” Jacob asked.

            Dr. Logan turned to look at Jacob and said, “I’m sorry Mr….”

            “Jacob Taylor,” he said.

            “I’m sorry, Mr. Taylor but you know that I cannot divulge that information. Talitha is right this way,” Dr. Logan said.

            She turned back around and crossed the room to a door at the back. Shepard searched Jane’s memories.

            _“It wasn’t there before. Well, at least I didn’t see it. There was something else here… shelves. They must have been blocking this door,”_ Jane said.

            Dr. Logan opened the door with an access card and took them into a small room. Talitha sat at a table staring at the wall in front of her. Her hair had grown out significantly over the last few years but scars still showed on her exposed skin.

            “Talitha, you have visitors,” Dr. Logan said.

            Talitha turned her head to look at Shepard and a smile lit up her face. Shepard had to fight back the rage that flooded her system, echoing back to her from Jane, when she saw the right side of Talitha’s face. Orange glowing scars, much like the ones that Shepard woke up with crisscrossed the skin. A metal plate formed a crescent around her eye before swooping over her temple and expanding out into a spider web like lattice over the right side of her head. The right eye itself glowed blue, much like the Illusive Man’s.

            _“Gods what did they do to her? They cut her open and put things inside of her! Look, look at her scars and that eye. Did she feel it, did they hurt her? Cutting and drilling? Did she feel it?”_ Jane asked teetering on the edge once more.

            “They probably put her out for it, Jane. They didn’t mean for you to feel what they did to me, they didn’t know about you… didn’t understand,” Shepard said.

            _“Are you defending them? Are you seriously fucking defending Cerberus?”_ Jane snarled.

            “No, Jane. You know that I’m not. I wouldn’t. I’m just trying to be rational here, you’re losing your grip,” Shepard thought.

            _“I’m not losing my grip. This is insane. I’m not insane. This entire fucking thing is insane. Look at her!”_ Jane raged.

            “I am. Gods, I am,” Shepard thought.

            “Talitha, it’s been far too long,” Shepard said.

            “Signal received. Going silent,” Kasumi’s voice whispered in Shepard’s ear.

            “Shepard? You came to see me?” Talitha asked.

            “I need to see her charts,” Miranda said.

            “Yeah, Talitha. I got your message. Miranda here needs to check on your progress but I thought I’d come along to see you,” Shepard said.

            Dr. Logan frowned and handed Miranda a datapad. Miranda ran her fingers over the screen, her eyes darted back and forth as she rapidly absorbed the information that it contained. Shepard moved to sit in the chair next to Talitha. Jacob crossed his arms; his mouth formed a tight line at the sight of Talitha’s implants.

            “I’m so glad that you came to see me, Shepard. Dr. Martin said that you wouldn’t be able to come here. He said that I couldn’t tell you where I was because it was a secret,” Talitha said.

            Talitha had stopped referring to herself as ‘she’, and although she was far more coherent than the last time Shepard saw her, she still spoke like a small child. Shepard smiled warmly at Talitha but watched Dr. Logan out of the corner of her eye. The shrewd woman watched Shepard with narrowed eyes.

            “Well, I got lucky is all. How are you, Talitha? Your hair sure looks pretty grown out,” Shepard said.

            Talitha reached up and ran her fingers over her hair, cringing when her fingers brushed against the metal webbing.

            _“Get that off of her. Get it off!”_ Jane said.

            “I remember when I was little, mommy used to braid my hair. Dr. Martin said when it gets long enough he would braid it for me,” Talitha said.

            “That’s nice of Dr. Martin. I think your hair is nearly long enough. I’m sure he can braid it for you soon,” Shepard said. “So, how do you like it here, Talitha?”

            Talitha frowned and picked at the corner of her table. She averted her gaze from Shepard and swung a foot back and forth under her chair.

            “She – I… I like it here OK. They take good care of me here and sometimes I get to see pretty pictures,” Talitha said before lowering her voice to a whisper, “Sometimes scary ones, too.”

            Shepard leaned forward a little, to share in with the other woman’s secret. She glanced up at the doctor whose attention was flickering between Shepard and Miranda.

            “What kind of scary pictures, Talitha?” Shepard asked.

            “Of monsters,” Talitha whispered.

            _“Reapers. She’s seeing reapers. They did it, they indoctrinated her. Wait, is she going to turn on us? Attack us? Get away from her, she’s indoctrinated. Get away,”_ Jane insisted.

            “Calm down, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            “Can you tell me what the monsters look like?” Shepard asked.

            “I’m sorry, but who exactly did you say you were?” Dr. Logan asked Shepard.

            Shepard ignored the woman and stayed focused on Talitha.

            Talitha slowly nodded her head before reaching for a stack of papers sitting on the table in front of her. She rifled through the pages before lying one out on the table in front of Shepard. It was a crayon drawing of a reaper; outlined in thick black lines and shaded with grays. The image was incredibly detailed, the joints in the reapers legs, the seam where it’s plating would move aside to reveal the circular beam projector; it was all there.

            “Wow, that is scary. Talitha, would you mind talking to my friend Jacob here for a few minutes? I need to have a private conversation with Dr. Logan,” Shepard said waving Jacob over.

            _“They’re all probably indoctrinated. Everyone in this facility. We have to get out of here. Blow the whole place up. It’s going to get us, too,”_ Jane said.

            “Is Jacob nice like Dr. Martin?” Talitha asked.

            “Jacob’s one of the nicest people I know,” Shepard said.

            Talitha nodded and said, “OK, I’ll talk to Jacob.”

            Shepard met Jacob half way across the room and whispered, “Keep her distracted. Keep her attention on you, you understand?”

            “Yes ma’am,” Jacob said.

            Shepard nodded and smiled at Talitha who had turned around to watch her. Jacob smiled and waved as he made his way to sit down next to Talitha. When Talitha had her attention on Jacob, Shepard went to stand next to Miranda.

            “Indoctrination?” Shepard asked.

            Miranda looked up from the datapad, her face looked far paler than usual and her eyes looked glazed over.

            “It appears so,” Miranda said shoving the datapad at Shepard and stepping away.

            “I demand to know who you are and what you are doing here right now or I’m calling the guards,” Dr. Logan said.

            “My name is Commander Shepard and I’m here to see my friend,” Shepard said pulling out her pistol. “Now, I’m going to ask you one simple question and I sincerely hope that you have the answer that I’m looking for.”

            Dr. Logan began to back away from Shepard towards the door. Miranda spun around and lifted the woman off of her feet with her biotics. The color had returned to Miranda’s face and her eyes were filled with fire.

            “Can you reverse this?” Shepard asked.

            The terrified woman shook her head. Her lips began to tremble and tears started to form in her eyes.

            “No, I’m sorry. We were only told to learn to control it. We – we – we were never told to learn how to cure it…” Dr. Logan said.

            “Shepard, if you kill her now we are going to have to fight our way out of here,” Miranda warned.

            “Do you want to live, Dr. Logan?” Shepard asked.

            _“No, don’t let her live. Kill them all. We have to shut this whole place down,”_ Jane insisted.

            The woman nodded her head vigorously and said, “Yes. Please, yes.”

            “Then I suggest that you stay very quiet and when I tell you to, you’re going to walk us back out of this facility with Talitha. You’re going to tell anyone that asks that you received orders from the Illusive Man and that Talitha is to leave with us. Do you understand?” Shepard asked.

            _“No! You can’t take her with us! She could turn on us, or just indoctrinate everyone by being around. It’s too risky. You have to leave her, Dawn, you have to leave her,”_ Jane said.

            “I’m not leaving her! We’ll find a way to fix this. We have to,” Shepard thought.

            “Yes, please, I’ll do whatever you say,” Dr. Logan said.

            Shepard put her gun away and turned back to Talitha.

            “Talitha, come on honey, you’re going to come with me now, OK?” Shepard said.

            “Is Dr. Martin coming, too?” Talitha asked standing up from her chair.

            Jacob’s eyes moved between the biotically suspended doctor and Shepard.

            “I’m sorry, Talitha but Dr. Martin has to stay and do his important work. But you and I will have a lot of fun together. I’m going to take you on my ship and we’re going to go visit lots of places, will that be alright?” Shepard asked.

            Talitha nodded and crossed the room to stand next to Shepard. Jacob moved next to Miranda, his hand resting near his pistol.

            “Alright Miranda, put her down,” Shepard said.

            Miranda lowered the woman back to the ground before releasing her hold on her. Dr. Logan stumbled forward as the weight was suddenly back on her bum knee.

            “Alright, doctor, lead the way,” Shepard said.

            _“You can’t be serious! You have to see that this is crazy. This is too great a risk for one person, Dawn. We can’t do this,”_ Jane insisted.

            Dr. Logan nodded and opened the door. She walked out stiffly and through the room with people strapped to beds. Shepard followed closely behind her with Talitha sandwiched between Jacob and Miranda. The other doctors in the room didn’t bother to look up at all as they crossed through. Once they reached the door that opened up into the room with the main controls, Dr. Logan did something incredibly foolish.

            The doctor tried to make a run for it, getting maybe five feet on her bum leg before Shepard shot her in the back of her head. Talitha screamed. Every person in the vicinity snapped their heads towards the noise and froze.

            “Black Out! Code Black Out!” one of the men in a lab coat yelled out.

            Shepard heard footsteps pounding up the stairs and she shoved Talitha behind a crate.

            “Now, Kasumi, now!” Shepard yelled into her mic before firing on the first guard to appear at the top of the stairs.

            Every console screen in the room flickered before the Cerberus logo popped up on the screen. Men and women in lab coats frantically tried to get their data off of the consoles, cursing as they could find nothing but the logo. Guards rushed up the stairs forming a line between Shepard’s team and the scientists. Shepard motioned Jacob towards Talitha, giving him a silent order to protect the woman.

            Kasumi materialized next to Shepard and said, “There were more guards coming up the back way but I’ve locked the door. It should take them awhile to get through. I wasn’t able to get everything off the computers but I got the most important stuff, I think.”

            “What is she doing here?” Jacob asked but Shepard didn’t answer.

            “Good work, Kasumi. Fill me in when we’re not being shot at,” Shepard said.

            “Good idea,” Kasumi said pulling out her pistol and taking aim.

            “Terminating the Project,” a woman in a lab coat called out from behind the guards.

            Shepard couldn’t see what the woman did but suddenly Talitha started to convulse beside her. Jacob grabbed Talitha and tried to stabilize her but his efforts were in vain.

            “No, no, no, no! Talitha, no, hang on, hang on I’m getting you out of this place,” Shepard yelled while replacing her thermal clip.

            Shepard emptied that clip as fast as she could into the row of guards before popping it out and sliding in another. Talitha stopped moving. Jacob felt the woman’s neck, seeking a pulse that Shepard already knew in the pit of her stomach he wasn’t going to find.

            “I’m sorry, Commander. She’s gone,” Jacob said looking up from Talitha’s body.

            Shepard growled and stood to her feet, firing off several shots as she went. She used her biotic Charge to slam into the nearest guard before shooting him in the face. Fueled by fury, she shot at everyone wearing full Cerberus armor or a white lab coat. It didn’t matter to her that the doctors and scientists were unarmed; they had just killed an innocent woman after committing unspeakable acts of torture and inhumane experiments on her all while wrapping it up with a bow and calling it ‘care’.          

            Shepard spun and sent four guards toppling with a Shockwave before shooting a man in a lab coat in the head. Her team moved up closer to her, taking better positions. Kasumi appeared behind a man and stabbed him in the side before re-cloaking. Jacob pulled a guard into the air and fired into his floating form.

            The fight was over in minutes, the floor slick with blood. Red splatters painted the walls and the console. A man in a lab coat lay twitching in his final moments of life. Shepard still shook with rage as she turned around looking for anyone else to shoot. She fired a last shot into the twitching man’s skull.

            “Jacob, Kasumi watch the stairs. Miranda with me,” Shepard said.

            Miranda moved to Shepard’s side as Shepard backtracked to check the men and women strapped to beds in the last room. She checked to make sure the room was clear; the doctors had all fled when the gunfire started most of them now corpses in the control room. Shepard moved to one of the beds and checked for life signs. Miranda went to another. They worked their way through the dozen people but each of them were already dead.

            “Whatever triggered the convulsions in Talitha must have done the same for the others,” Miranda said.

            “Why wasn’t she in this room with the others? Why did they keep her separate, locked away by herself?” Shepard asked.

            “According to her records, Talitha’s unique state of mind when they acquired her allowed for a more complete transition and eased the process. She was fully indoctrinated. Shepard, I know that this will be hard to hear, but I think her death was a mercy and safer for all of us,” Miranda said. “It would have taken me months, at least to figure out how to reverse what they did even with Mordin’s help. There is no telling what would have happened if she had been on the Normandy in the meantime time.”

            “Let’s get the hell out of here,” Shepard said clenching and unclenching her fists.

            Miranda nodded, sadness tugging at her perfect features. They moved back into the slaughter room and met up with Jacob and Kasumi before moving down the stairs. Shepard could hear the emergency shuttles departing the facility and felt angry knowing that there were any survivors. When they got back to the main entrance, only a few shuttles remained and the area was empty.

            Shepard put her back to the wall next to the door and nodded to Kasumi who used the console at the top of the stairs to trigger the door release. The doors slid open and the guards outside started firing haphazardly into the facility. Miranda and Jacob were across from Shepard watching for her signal. Shepard waited for a pause in the fire before turning to send a Shockwave into the row of guards. Her team opened fire, killing several guards immediately and pushing the rest back. Shepard ran for cover, claiming the ground the Cerberus Commandos fled. She provided cover fire, shooting in a spray at the guards while her team pushed forward to claim cover.

            Yard by yard, Shepard and her team pushed the enemy back, killing those who weren’t fast enough to flee. Finally, the few remaining had nowhere else to flee too. Shepard saw one of them eye her shuttle up on the landing pad and she used her biotics to Charge at him before he could make a run for it. She slammed into the man and shot him several times in the chest, ripping through his shields and setting him on fire.

            She turned to fire more rounds at the nearest target while the one next to him was pulled into the air and shot. Shepard used her Shockwave to knock the last two over the railing to tumble down the mountainside. Miranda called the all clear and the others joined Shepard as she made her way to the shuttle.

            The ride back to the Normandy was one filled with sober silence. Shepard contemplated having Joker blow the damn facility up but knew that it would be a drastic act and would likely jeopardize future events for no real gain. Miranda stared out the window, her arms crossed over her chest hugging herself. Occasionally, Shepard would catch sight of Miranda gently caressing her arms trying to soothe herself unconsciously. Shepard saw anger on Jacob’s face; it wasn’t an expression that Jane’s memories associated with him except on the rare occasion. It was clear that he was deeply disturbed by the day’s events. The question remained, what disturbed him the most: the realization that Cerberus was up to some very serious sick shit, or that he had been backed into a corner and forced to take part on an assault on a Cerberus facility. Shepard believed that it was the former rather than the latter. Jacob was a good guy, even if he was a bit misguided at times. Kasumi stayed hidden, her Tactical Cloak acting as an emotional barrier but Shepard could hear her occasional sniffles and was sure that the others could as well.

            The shuttle flew back into the Normandy’s hangar. Once it was safe to, Shepard opened the shuttle door and headed straight for the elevator. Normally, she would say a few words to her team; reinforce their good work or find another way to build morale but right then she was seriously lacking in the morale department herself. She took the elevator up to her cabin and stripped off her armor, throwing it violently against the wall.

            “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Shepard yelled at the empty room.

            _“For the best. It was for the best,”_ Jane said.

            EDI’s hologram popped up and EDI asked, “Shepard, are you in need of assistance?”

            “No, EDI. I’m – I – I don’t know. Gods this is all so fucked up,” Shepard said turning to look at the hologram.

            “Perhaps speaking with Yeoman Chambers would be beneficial?” EDI suggested.

            “Yeah. Maybe. I’ll think about it,” Shepard said noncommittally.

            “Garrus is on his way up to see you and the Illusive Man would like to speak to you in the Communications Room,” EDI said.

            “I’m sure he would. Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

            Shepard raked her hands through her hair and left her cabin. The elevator opened up in front of her with Garrus inside. He looked up from the floor and met her gaze. Shepard knew that even if he couldn’t see the fire in her eyes, he’d be able to smell the anger rolling off of her in waves. His mandibles fluttered lightly as he watched her cross into the elevator and hit the button for the second deck. Garrus knew her well enough to know that as comforting as his touch was to her, being touched when she was this angry only made things worse. He kept his distance, staying to the opposite side of the elevator.

            “How bad?” he finally asked.

            “Monumentally. I just slaughtered at least half the people in that damn facility and Talitha still died. It wasn’t supposed to go that way. I was supposed to walk out with Talitha, find a way to help her. Kasumi was there to steal the data and then corrupt their files once we were out. It was going as planned but one stupid woman couldn’t accept that and brought down the whole fucking house of cards,” Shepard said.

            “What now?” Garrus asked.

            “The Illusive Man is on the comm waiting for me. He probably got reports of what was happening from the first asshole to make it to the escape shuttles,” Shepard said.

            “What will he do?” he asked.

            Shepard shrugged her shoulder and said, “I don’t know. This is a new one. He’s not going to be happy, but I doubt he’ll take action against me. At least nothing obvious.”

            The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Shepard could feel the eyes of every Cerberus employee on her but they all turned away the second she looked anywhere near their direction. Shepard stepped out of the elevator and turned towards the armory to pass through to the comm room. Jacob was leaning against one of the tables at his station, his hands splayed out across the metal surface. His eyes studied the table intently until Shepard cleared her throat and he turned his head to look at her.

            “The Illusive Man is waiting. I’m going to make sure he understands that you and Miranda went in to this blind. I didn’t mean for things to go the way they did, but –,” Shepard started to say.

            Jacob shook his head and looked back down at the table cutting Shepard off with a firmly spoken, “Don’t bother.”

            Shepard hesitated, Garrus standing quietly next to her. Jacob finally turned around, leaning into the table and crossing his arms.

            “I didn’t know, Shepard. I hope you realize that. I didn’t know,” Jacob said.

            Shepard walked towards the table separating her from Jacob and laid her palms on the surface. She studied him for a moment, taking in the pain and remorse in his face and nodded.

            “I know, Jacob,” Shepard said.

            “I’m sorry. About your friend. I tried, Shepard. There was nothing I could do for her,” he said.

            _“For the best,”_ Jane whispered.

            As he spoke, Jacob shifted forward and leaned with his palms on the table. He spoke with earnest in a low, hushed, pleading tone.

            “I know, Jacob. I don’t blame you for that, not at all. I blame them. I blame the Illusive Man. I blame myself, even, but I don’t blame you,” Shepard said.

            “How can you not? You’ve talked about the evils of Cerberus, and even though I’ve always been skeptical to both sides of the story… I am a part of Cerberus. By choice!” Jacob said.

            Garrus, who had hung back to give them space until now, crossed the room and stood next to Shepard. He crossed his arms and locked his eyes on Jacob.

            “So make another choice. You’ve seen it yourself now. Help us fight the collectors and then walk away. Better yet, fight the collectors and then fight Cerberus,” Garrus said challenging Jacob to take action.

            Jacob pushed himself back from the table and nodded thoughtfully at Garrus’ statement.

            “Yeah. Yeah I’ve got to do something. This isn’t right. This isn’t me,” Jacob said.

            Shepard offered Jacob a smile before turning to leave.

            “Oh, hey, Shepard?” Jacob said.

            Shepard turned back to Jacob, Garrus pausing beside her to do the same.

            “If you survive your talk with the Illusive Man, I had something else I wanted to talk to you about when you have a minute,” Jacob said.

            Shepard nodded and said, “Sure, Jacob.”

            Shepard and Garrus walked into the comm room and EDI lowered the table into the floor giving Shepard access to the quantum entanglement communications array. She started to walk towards the communicator but paused and turned back to Garrus who was leaning against the corner near the door. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to his mandible. He grinned and his mandibles fluttered.

            “What was that for?” Garrus asked.

            “For being you,” she said simply.

            Shepard turned and walked into the communicator, the holographic grid rising up around her, scanning her and projecting her image to the Illusive Man even as it allowed her to see him. As usual, he was sitting in his power position. A simple chair in the center of the room just far enough away from the communicator that it made him difficult to see in the dark. He had a tumbler in one hand and a glowing cigarette in the other. Shepard waited with her arms crossed for him to speak. If he expected her to hurry into an explanation or offer an apology he’d be waiting for a damn long time.

            “Shepard. I’ve received reports that a Cerberus research facility on Gellix was just under attack by three of my operatives. Miranda’s name and authorization code were used, but I suspect that this was your idea,” the Illusive Man said.

            Shepard remained quiet, staring daggers at the man who seemed so very close, close enough that she could lunge at him and wrap her fingers around his throat but was really he was so very, very far away.

            “Well?” the Illusive Man asked.

            “Well what?” Shepard snapped.

            “Care to explain why you infiltrated a Cerberus facility and killed half of the researchers and guards?” the Illusive Man asked.

            “Oh, I’m pretty sure I killed all of the guards unless some of them were cowards and fled in the face of hostile activity. Sure, I’ll tell you why, though. Her name was Talitha. She was an innocent woman who was abducted on Mindoir by batarian slavers. She lived a life full of abuse and torture, so much to the point that she didn’t see herself as even being a human being anymore when I first met her,” Shepard said.

            _“It was for the best. She won’t feel any of it now, and now she can’t hurt us,”_ Jane said.

            “Say it was for the best one more time and I swear I will find a way to cut you out of my own head,” Shepard thought.

            The Illusive Man took a long drag from his cigarette, the burning ember illuminating part of his smug face for a brief moment. He blew the smoke out slowly; it curled and licked around his face before spreading out to add to the hazy feel of the room. He twisted the tumbler about in his hand, the ice clinking together before taking a swallow.

            “That was about three years ago, on the Citadel. Alliance had rescued her from the slavers so I’m not really sure how the hell exactly she came to be in one of your facilities acting an experiment for your twisted research into indoctrination. But there you have it,” Shepard said.

            “Commander, I don’t know what you think happened to –,” the Illusive Man said.

            Shepard cut him off, raising her voice to be heard above his and said, “Bullshit. So, anyway, Talitha contacted me not too long ago and I figured I’d go pay her a visit. Check on her, see how she’s doing and figure out for myself just what the fuck Cerberus was doing with her and if I didn’t like what I found, I was going to take her out of that facility. I was doing just that, taking her out, when one of your _doctors_ decided to commit suicide – I mean, I did warn her. ‘Course, the shit hit the fan after that and the only way to get out was to shoot my way out. They killed, Talitha, by the way. Fried her brain somehow, along with all of the other’s they had strapped down to tables with wires and reaper tech running through their bodies.”

            Jane whimpered in the back of Shepard’s head as the images of those poor dead bodies strapped to tables replayed through Shepard’s mind. The Illusive Man took another long drag off his cigarette and tapped the ashes off, spinning the tip of the cigarette around in the ash tray.

            “I wasn’t aware that facility was using human subjects. I’ll look into the matter. The next time you plan to visit a Cerberus facility, I ask that you go through the proper channels and try not to kill anyone – if you think you can manage that,” the Illusive Man said adding a particularly snide tone to the last bit.

            Shepard stared at him in silence. His glowing blue eyes stared back at her. She turned and walked out of the holographic grid, the Illusive Man’s hideout disappearing from her view and being replaced with the comm room on the Normandy. The comm table rose out of the floor and locked back into place.

            “Sometimes I have to wonder if that man likes the smell of his own bullshit,” Shepard said.

            Garrus pushed away from the wall and opened the door for her. Shepard put a hand on Garrus’ arm to halt him before they got close enough to trigger the armory door’s automatic function.

            “He’s going to want to talk to me about a personal matter. I’m not sure if he’s going to be comfortable talking about it in front of you, hell he won’t be comfortable talking about it to me but he needs my help. So, if it looks like he needs it, give us some space?” Shepard said.

            “No problem. Why don’t I just head to the battery and get some work done. Meet back up with you later?” Garrus said.

            “Thanks,” Shepard said pulling Garrus to her.

            He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his forehead to hers before walking into the armory. Garrus nodded to Jacob before passing through to the CIC. Shepard made her way to Jacob and leaned against the table.

            “What’s up?” Shepard asked.

            Jacob rubbed at the back of his neck before resting his hands on the tabletop.

            “I’m not normally one to ask for a personal favor, but I thought that maybe since you said this thing we just did was personal for you… maybe it would be alright to ask,” Jacob said.

            “Of course it’s alright to ask, Jacob. Worst that would happen is I’d say no, and that’s not really my style. What’s going on?” Shepard asked again.

            “It’s about my father. Well, about the ship he was on,” Jacob said rubbing at his neck again.

            Shepard watched Jacob in silence while he worked through the thoughts running through his head.

            “My father was on a ship called the Hugo Gernsback… it went missing ten years ago. I’m not sure who sent it, but last night I got a message sent to my private account. The Gernsback sent out an SOS last week, the message said there was a crash and they were requesting a rescue,” Jacob said.

            “You have the coordinates?” Shepard asked.

            “Yeah, but Shepard, I’m not sure I trust this. Especially not in light of recent events. I mean, ten years is a long time. Why an SOS now? Why was I sent an anonymous message through Cerberus filters? It just doesn’t add up. I’m not expecting to find my father alive, not after all these years but still, it would be nice to get some answers,” Jacob said.

            “We’ll take a team and go in cautiously, Jacob. We’re going to need everyone focused and at their best, and that means looking into this while there’s still time. Forward the coordinates to Joker, we’ll go as soon as we can,” Shepard said.

            “Thanks, Shepard,” Jacob said.

            EDI’s hologram popped up and she said, “Shepard, there is an urgent call coming through from Councilor Anderson.”

            “Patch it through to my cabin, EDI,” Shepard said before turning back to Jacob. “I’ve got to take this; we can talk later if you want.”

            “Yeah, sure,” Jacob said as Shepard left the armory.

            Shepard called the elevator and paced in front of the closed doors while she waited. She turned in her pacing and jumped when she nearly walked into Kelly.

            “Sorry, Commander, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted to let you know that I’m available, if you need to talk about your friend. Or anything at all, really,” Kelly said.

            Shepard smiled and nodded her head. The elevator doors opened.

            “Thanks, Kelly. I appreciate that, maybe later?” Shepard said and Kelly nodded.

            Shepard stepped onto the elevator and took it up to her cabin. She entered her cabin and opened up her bug detection software and did a quick sweep of the room just in case someone slipped more listening devices in while she was away.

            “EDI, please give us some privacy,” Shepard said.

            “As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said closing her hologram.

            Shepard stepped over to her desk and pushed the button that would turn her glass display case into a vid screen. Anderson appeared before her and didn’t waste time with pleasantries.

            “Shepard, I’ve just received reports from your salarian team and Alliance stationed on Fehl Prime. They are under attack as we speak. Kirrahe reported heavy collector presence and he has been able to obtain the data you requested. He is doing what he can to protect the colony, and you were right, the swarms are only going after humans,” Anderson said.

            “Do we have a report on losses so far, sir?” Shepard asked.

            “Not yet, but it doesn’t sound good, Shepard,” Anderson said.

            “We’ll head there right away; provide what assistance we can if we make it in time. Thank you, sir,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard, don’t be rash. You’ve said yourself that your ship isn’t ready to stand up to their attacks. Officially, I can’t tell you not to go but as your friend I’m asking you to be smart about it,” Anderson said.

            _“We still need Tali’s info on the multicore shielding, but the guns that Garrus installed and the armor upgrades from Jacob will help. The others aren’t as important,”_ Jane said.

            “Yes sir. We’re nearly there but I won’t jeopardize the mission, sir,” Shepard said.

            “Stow the sir crap, Shepard. Don’t jeopardize you. I don’t want to have to hear about you dying again,” Anderson said.

            Shepard smiled and said, “Alright Anderson, I’ll be careful.”

            “Thank you, Shepard. Anderson out,” he said before the screen went black.

            Shepard pushed the button again, turning the black screen back into clear glass and left her cabin. She pushed the elevator button and while she waited she called out to EDI.

            “Yes Shepard?” EDI asked.

            “Call everyone to the comm room. We have a hit,” Shepard said.

            “At once,” EDI said.

            Shepard took the elevator down to the CIC and input the coordinates for the Fehl Prime colony in Sigurd’s Cradle, flagging it as urgent so Joker would get them there as fast as possible. She closed the map and cut through the tech labs, meeting up with Mordin on his way to the comm room. Once everyone was gathered Shepard addressed her crew.

            “Alright everyone, I’ve had word that the human colony of Fehl Prime is under attack as we speak. I’ve placed a small group of STG there to gather information for us and to help protect the colonists. It was a gamble but it’s paid off. We are on our way there now. It is unlikely that we’ll make it there in time to help much, but we will plan for that outcome. Our priority will be to provide support to the STG team and to secure the data they’ve collected. Our secondary priority is to defend the colony. I know that this is a tough call, some of you may not like hearing it but without that data many more colonies will be abducted and we will have failed,” Shepard said.

            “I don’t know what exactly we’ll find when we get there but I know two things. First, this ship is not ready to face a collector ship. Second, we cannot send any humans to ground until we have the all clear. Which means that even I have to sit this one out as much as it kills me to do so,” she said.

            The room broke out into murmurs of discontent and confusion. Shepard held up a hand to quiet them.

            “There is Alliance presence on Fehl Prime, so a Cerberus ship in the middle of this might cause some confusion as well. We’ll hail the colony as soon as we are close enough to do so; I’ll announce myself and push my Spectre authority,” Shepard said. “Legion, I don’t think it’s wise to send you down there in the middle of a panic without me there. Lia, I know you’re excited to help but I’m not really sure that this is the best time for you to start. That leaves Garrus, Grunt, Grundan Krul, and Mordin. Garrus, you will lead the team and rendezvous with Kirrahe. Mordin, you will act as liaison to the STG there. Once I’ve gotten the all clear, I will take a second shuttle to meet with you on the ground.”

            She glanced at each person as she spoke and they nodded their understanding of their tasks. Grunt looked particularly pleased at the opportunity to finally get to kill something. She felt marginally bad that she hadn’t set him loose on Gellix but it was the right decision at the time.

            “EDI, can you access a map of Fehl Prime?” Shepard asked.

            A hologram of the colony appeared in the air above the table.

            “Garrus, this is your ride. Find your landing location and plan of attack. I’ll have EDI add to it any information we get in the meantime. Questions?” Shepard said.

            Shepard’s eyes roamed over everyone in the room, they all watched her but no one spoke up so Shepard dismissed them. Everyone but those assigned to the strike team left the room. Garrus moved closer to the table to manipulate and study the map of Fehl Prime. Grundan Krul stood beside him while Mordin opened his omni-tool and began running his fingers over the screen.

            “EDI, can you put up the image of the collector that we found on Freedom’s Progress?” Shepard asked.

            The image appeared and as expected, Grunt moved in closer to examine the image. She knew he would want to know his enemy and she could tell that he was already searching out the weak spots. Shepard stepped up beside Grunt and pulled the image of the collector, zooming in on the once prothean mutation.

            _“You need to tell them about the others, the scions, praetorians; they won’t just be fighting those. Husks and abominations, too,”_ Jane added.

            “I’ll fill Garrus and Mordin in on everything privately, that’s the best we can do,” Shepard thought.

            “EDI, an image of the husks as well please. I suspect that the reaper troops will be accompanying the collectors,” Shepard said.

            A 3-D image of a husk appeared next to the collector; Shepard rotated the image slowly so Grunt could soak it in.

            “They look human,” he said.

            “They were, once. I spent a lot of time fighting them while chasing down Saren,” Shepard said. “They tend to attack in swarms, they like to close in on you and cling to you while they claw and bite. They don’t appear to feel pain, and so don’t slow down when injured. Some of them will get in close and activate some sort of electrical pulse that will drop your shields. They appear to be designed to harry ground troops while larger troops close in or line up shots,” Shepard said.

            “What weapons do they use?” Grunt asked.

            “Just their bodies and that pulse. I’ve never seen one pick up a gun. They’re completely mindless, driven solely by their… programming to seek out and attack the nearest enemy. They have no sense of self-preservation, they wear no armor and will not seek cover,” Shepard said.

            “What about the collectors?” Grunt asked.

            Shepard glanced at Garrus before responding, “We have limited intel on them at this point. We know that they have advanced technology, and I know firsthand that the guns on their ships do massive amounts of damage. The old Normandy was ripped to shreds by a collector vessel, and the old Normandy had cutting edge technology. I think it’s safe to assume that their ground troops will likely have better weapons than we do.”

            “Good. It’s no fun if it’s not challenging,” Grunt said with a grin.

            Grundan Krul moved around the table to look at the images of the husk and collector. He stood quietly next to Shepard, his dark eyes moving up and down the images.

            “May I?” he asked indicating the holograms.

            “Of course,” Shepard said moving aside to give him better access.

            Grundan Krul reached across the opening in the table to pull the image of the husk closer and increase its size. He studied it, moving the image around from front to back before stopping on the front and pointing to the ring-shaped implant on the husk’s abdomen.

            “Here. The pulse’s energy will come from this point, if it can be disabled first, it should prevent the husk from emitting its pulse. I’d suggest using Overload or Sabotage, failing that shooting that location should do the trick,” Grundan Krul said.

            Shepard raised her eyebrows and glanced at the batarian standing next to her. He turned his head away from the husk, his eyes searching hers for understanding.

            “Jane?” Shepard thought.

            _“I – I don’t know. He could be right,”_ Jane said.

            “Huh. I’ll be damned. It’s definitely worth the field test. Good catch,” Shepard said.

            Grundan Krul’s lips twitched in some semblance of the start of a smile but that was it, he nodded his head and started looking at the collector more closely. Shepard wished that they had a better image of the collector, and that she could warn them of what else they should expect to find if they got there in the heat of battle. She would just have to trust in Garrus’ leadership skills and his ability to keep calm and focused in battle.

            Shepard excused herself from the room and left the four of them to plan. She headed to the mess hall and collapsed onto a bench running her hands through her hair. Two minutes later a tray was slid across the table in front of her. Shepard glanced up to see Gardner smile at her before walking back to his station. Shepard looked at the tray for a long minute before she finally picked up the spoon and dug into the gumbo. The mess hall was mostly empty; it was past the usual meal time so Shepard ate alone enjoying the relative silence until Kelly slid into the bench across from her with a bowl of salad and glass of what looked like iced tea.

            She smiled warmly at Shepard before putting a forkful in her mouth. Shepard knew that the yeoman was waiting for her to talk; to pour out her emotions about the day’s events whether through sorrowful tears or angry rantings but Shepard was finding it difficult to connect to her emotions just then. She continued to eat in silence and so did Kelly. After about ten minutes, Shepard decided that even if she wasn’t feeling anything right now, it would be good to talk to Kelly about Talitha.

            “She was on Mindoir during the raids,” Shepard said.

            Kelly swallowed and took a sip of her tea before responding, “The batarian slaver raids?”

            “Yeah. She wasn’t as lucky as I was… if you can call it lucky,” Shepard said.

            “She was taken?” Kelly asked.

            Shepard nodded slowly and ate a couple more bites of her gumbo before continuing.

            “I met her on the Citadel a few years ago. Marines had found her while raiding the slaver’s encampment and brought her back to the Citadel. She was terrified, wanted to kill herself because she was so sure that her masters were going to find her again and punish her for leaving. She’d gotten a hold of a gun and was held up behind some crates on the docks,” Shepard took a sip of her coffee.

            “I imagine that must have been a terrifying predicament for her,” Kelly said.

            _“You think?”_ Jane snapped.

            “I spent some time talking her down. She told me all about what happened to her and her family during the raids, and what happened to her in the years as a slave. I kept thinking how easily that could have been me. She didn’t even see herself as human anymore, just kept referring to herself as an animal, or slave; talked in the third person. It took a while but I got her to tell me her name, Talitha,” Shepard said.

            Kelly waited in silence, watching as Shepard stirred her gumbo around with her spoon. After a minute or so, Shepard started to speak again.

            “I just wanted to get her out of there, Kelly. No one was supposed to die today. They had her indoctrinated, all wired up with reaper tech. They were trying to figure out how to control it and the doctor said they didn’t even bother to try to figure out how to reverse it. I don’t know what I thought I could do for her really, but I just thought getting her out of there would have to be better than continuing to let them experiment on her. She’d been through enough,” Shepard said.

            “When you found here there, what did you feel?” Kelly prodded.

            _“What the hell do you think we felt?!”_ Jane said.

            “Really? You’re asking how I felt, not wondering what the hell Cerberus was doing to this poor woman?” Shepard asked.

            Kelly forced a smile on her face and spoke softly, “Understanding the whys and hows of what Cerberus was doing isn’t my job right now, Commander. Helping you through this so that you can be at your best is.”

            Shepard frowned at the other woman before sighing and saying, “I felt pissed. And disgusted. And I guess a little sad.”

            “Let’s start with the anger. What or who exactly where you angry with?” Kelly asked.

            Shepard stuck her spoon in her bowl and rolled her tongue around in her mouth before sucking on her teeth.

            “I was angry with Cerberus, with the Illusive Man. I was angry at the reapers for existing. I was angry at myself for not having kept closer tabs on Talitha after that day on the Citadel,” Shepard said.

            “Do you think Talitha was somehow your responsibility?” Kelley asked.

            “What… no, I don’t guess so not really but it would have just been the decent, humane thing to do,” Shepard said.

            _“Of course you do. We always do. They’re all our responsibility,”_ Jane said.

            “Why didn’t you, then, Commander?” Kelley challenged.

            “Um, I was busy chasing down a rogue Spectre and trying to convince the Council that the reapers were real and were coming!” Shepard said exasperated.

            Kelly watched Shepard in silence as she processed her own words. Shepard sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

            “What would you have liked to have done differently, if the circumstances had been different?” Kelly asked.

            “I should have – would have made sure she was in a good place that was going to actually help her. Checked in on her, maybe gone to visit. Reminded her that even though I didn’t go through everything she did, there was at least someone else out there who had seen some of the horrors that she had. Reminded her that she wasn’t alone… and that she wasn’t a damn animal,” Shepard said.

            “I’m sure that would have meant a lot to Talitha. Commander, do you feel as if what you did do to help her is somehow lessened by what you couldn’t do to help her?” Kelly asked.

            Shepard thought about that question before shaking her head and saying, “No, I don’t guess so. She would have killed herself that day, maybe even a few others. She was in immediate danger.”

            “Tell me, when Talitha saw you today how did she react?” Kelly asked.

            “She smiled, she seemed really excited and happy to see me,” Shepard said.

            “Sounds like you made real impact on her,” Kelly said.

            “Yeah. It just wasn’t enough,” Shepard said.

            “Sometimes things happen outside of our control,” Kelly said. “Commander, you died. You were gone for two years and you had no control over that or the events that occurred in your absence.”

            Shepard winced. She did have control over that, and she chose to die. She chose to go to Alchera where she knew the collectors would ambush her and destroy the Normandy. She stood there on her ship while it was being ripped apart and waited for death. Kelly grew quiet, her eyes studying Shepard and drawing conclusions about the meaning behind Shepard’s reactions.

            “Do you blame yourself for your death, Commander?” Kelly asked.

            _“Yes. It was your fault. You knew. And it hurt so bad. Suffocating, feeling like our skull was being crushed, like our eyes were going to explode. Then burning, our whole body catching on fire. Slamming into Alchera, shattering damn near every bone in our body. Then nothing until the cutting and drilling. They cut us open and put things inside of us and I felt it all, and it was all your fault,”_ Jane rambled.

            “No, of course not,” Shepard said schooling her expressions and sliding her Commander mask back into place.

            Shepard shoved a few more bites of the gumbo down her throat and drained her coffee cup. She stood up and picked up her tray, pausing to look at Kelly.

            “You’re right, Kelly. I did everything that I could have, and this wasn’t my fault. Thanks for the talk. I’ve got to get back to my cabin, I’ve got planning to do for the Fehl Prime mission,” Shepard said.

            “Of course, Commander. Anytime,” Kelly said, her eyes filled with concern and her lips pressed into a tight line.

            Shepard carried her tray back over to Gardner listening as Jane relieved the experience over and over again in her head; tossing the accusations at Shepard as she went. Gardner looked at the half full bowl and frowned.

            “Didn’t like the gumbo?” Gardner asked.

            _“You saw on the video. Ribs spread open, heart barely beating as she screwed reaper tech into our ribs and heart,”_ Jane said.

            “No, it’s delicious it’s just been one hell of a day… save it for me, I’ll finish it later when my mind isn’t all over the place,” Shepard said.

            _“And I was begging her to stop. Screaming in agony and they just kept scraping and drilling,”_ Jane said.

            Gardner smiled and said, “Sure thing, Commander.”

            “Jane, stop. Gods, please stop,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard struggled to return the smile and slid the tray across the counter to him before heading back to the elevator. Once back in her cabin, Shepard settled into her desk and opened her laptop. She fought to push Jane’s continued diatribe. She had EDI pull up the map they had been working on and put it on the big screen. Twenty minutes later and Jane finally fell silent. Shepard was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally but she continued to push herself. A half hour more and they had a few new locations noted on the map, both of potential Cerberus facilities and of reported collector activity.

Shepard was glad to see that the Illusive Man hadn’t put a stop to her and EDI’s loophole. She figured he had to know about it by now; she wondered what he stood to gain from allowing it, she knew he had to have a reason. Maybe he was just curious to see what she would do with the information she was able to piece together.

            “Shepard, Jack has entered your cabin as her destination in the elevator. Should I allow her to enter?” EDI asked.

            Shepard looked up at the hologram a little shocked that Jack would be coming to see her.

            “Uh, yeah, sure. Save our progress and close the map then let her in, EDI,” Shepard said.

            A minute later Shepard’s cabin door slid open and Jack hesitantly poked her head in and glanced around before strolling in carrying a bottle of spiced rum. Shepard’s eyebrow twitched and she stood up from her desk. Jack came to a stop a few feet away from Shepard and leaned against the partition next to her desk. She held up the bottle of rum.

            “Hey. Heard about the shit on Gellix today. Got this on the Citadel to pass time and deal with the mind-numbing boredom of being stuck on this ship but I figured you could probably use a drink,” Jack said.

            “That… sounds like an excellent idea. I’ll grab us some glasses,” Shepard said.

            “Glasses are for pussies, Shepard. Just drink out of the damn bottle,” Jack said with a smirk.

            Shepard chuckled and said, “Alright. Crack it open. Couches downstairs. There’s a stereo over there if you want.”

            “Cool,” Jack said opening the bottle of rum and taking a deep pull from the dark amber alcohol before passing it to Shepard.

            Shepard accepted the bottle and took a deep pull herself. Jack walked down the stairs and around the personal quarters of Shepard’s cabin. She ran her fingertips over the back of the couch, and stopped to look at the model ships in her display case. Jack smirked and shook her head. Shepard stood at the top of the stairs watching her.

            “What?” Shepard asked.

            “Model ships? Seriously Shepard? God you Alliance types are so boring,” Jack said.

            “Ouch! Joker’s right, you are _mean_ ,” Shepard said stepping down the stairs.

            Jack smirked and continued her survey of Shepard’s room, stopping on occasion to look at something a little closer or to run her fingers over a photograph. She stopped and picked up a picture of Liara that Shepard had framed after she learned about the asari’s death.

            “Who’s this?” Jack asked.

            “Liara T’soni,” Shepard said moving to look at the photograph in Jack’s hands. “She was on my old crew. A good friend. She uh, she died when a blast from the collector ship hit the escape pod she was in. This one here is Ashley Williams, she was in the pod, too.”

            _“Your fault,”_ Jane mumbled weakly.

            Jack set the picture back down before picking up one of Kaidan, “What about him?”

            “Kaidan Alenko. Died on Virmire being a damn hero against orders. Should have expected it, to be honest,” Shepard said.

            Jack set the picture of Kaidan back down without comment before moving over to the stereo and fiddling with the nobs until she had something that sounded like a cross between techno and death metal playing through the speakers. Shepard fought back the desire to veto her music choice. Jack was making an effort her to be civil, she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Shepard took another drink of the rum and handed the bottle back to Jack before sitting on the couch. Jack flopped down on the perpendicular section of the couch and threw her feet up, leaning her back against the armrest with one arm draped over the side to dangle behind her.

            Jack held the bottle out towards Shepard without making any effort to close the distance between the two of them so Shepard got up and took it from her before settling back down into the corner of the couch where it would be easier to pass it back and forth. Shepard took a deep pull of the rum before examining the label. It was strong, stronger than the stuff she’d been buying and it seemed to be a hitting her a little quicker than the rest. She knew it would still take quite a bit to get her drunk but damn if she wasn’t going to do her best. She had a couple more bottles tucked away that she could pull out if they were needed. Shepard let her head fall back to rest on the couch.

            “Shit, we should blow up that fucking place on Gellix, too,” Jack said.

            Shepard snorted and rolled her head to look at Jack, “Yeah, maybe. Did you figure out where they had you yet?”

            “Yeah, place called Pragia. I’ll send you the coordinates. You serious about taking me there to blow the place up?” Jack asked.

            “Absolutely. Can’t go right away, but I’ll get you there before the shit really hits the fan. You’ve got my word,” Shepard said.

            Jack chuckled and pitched her voice to sound more like Shepard before saying, “You’ve got my word.”

            “Jack,” Shepard said.

            “Hmm?” Jack asked.

            “Stop being such a bitch,” Shepard laughed and reached over to shove Jack’s boot.

            Jack laughed and sat up to snatch the bottle back from Shepard before settling back against the armrest again.

            “So, is it those Cerberus implants and shit that’s made those scars fade so fast? I’ve never seen someone heal up like that before,” Jack asked.

            “Yeah,” Shepard said.

            “Damn. I was just thinking you could use some ink but I guess it wouldn’t take,” Jack said.

            “Nah, the tattoo would stay, it would just heal a lot faster. I’ve actually been thinking about asking you to do some work for me but thought it might be a good idea to make sure – you know – you actually like me before letting you put permanent marks on my skin,” Shepard said.

            “I like you alright, Shepard. You’re not bad for Alliance. Still not going to fuck you, but I like you alright,” Jack said.

            Heat crept up into Shepard’s face and Jack smirked.

            “OK, so I checked you out let it go, Jack. I’m not trying to fuck you,” Shepard said.

            “Right, because I haven’t heard that one before,” Jack said.

            Shepard rolled her eyes and shook her head.

            “So what were you wanting done? Don’t tell me any stupid shit like a flower or Garrus’ name,” Jack said.

            “A phoenix,” Shepard said.

            “A phoenix? Well, I guess that’s slightly less clichéd,” Jack said.

            “Yeah, but I think it’s fitting. Don’t you?” Shepard asked.

            Jack seemed to contemplate this for a moment before nodding her head and saying, “Yeah, I can see that. The whole death and rebirth thing. If it fits anyone I guess it’s you. You should let me draw you up some concept art.”

            “Thanks, that’d be awesome. I can’t draw for shit. I would have been stuck finding something on the extranet for you to work with,” Shepard said.

            “Fuck that, that’s lame. If you’re going to put something permanent on your body you need to make it original – unique. Where do you want it?” Jack asked.

            “I was thinking in between my shoulder blades. It’s not really meant for the whole world to see or anything… just kind of a reminder for myself,” Shepard said.

            Jack seemed to completely understand that as she nodded her head and asked, “How big?”

            Shepard held out her hands, her fingers curled about six inches apart.

            “Yeah, I can work with that,” Jack said.

            “Shepard, Garrus is on his way to your cabin. Shall I let him in?” EDI asked.

            “EDI, you don’t have to ask for Garrus. He’s always welcome,” Shepard said.

            “Very well, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “Unrestricted access, huh? Damn, you two must be serious,” Jack said.

            “Yeah… we’ve been through a lot together and he knows me better than anyone else. I trust him completely. That’s not so easy for me,” Shepard said.

            “I get that,” Jack said.

            The cabin door slid open and Garrus walked in, pausing to sniff around the room before stopping at the top of the stairs.

            “Am I uh, am I interrupting something?” Garrus asked.

            “Ha! She wishes,” Jack said.

            Shepard sighed and shook her head before waving Garrus over and patting the couch next to her.

            “Nah, Jack’s too much of a tease. She ‘doesn’t do Alliance’,” Shepard said making air quotes.

            Garrus chuckled and sat down next to Shepard, resting his arm across the back of the couch.

            “I keep telling you, Shepard, you Alliance types are boring. You couldn’t keep up with me,” Jack said with a grin.

            Garrus chuffed and said, “I wouldn’t count on that one, Jack.”

            Shepard’s face reddened again and she stood up from the couch quickly crossing the room to fetch her stash of alcohol, including turian brandy for Garrus. Jack and Garrus’ laughter followed her.

            “She know how to let loose in the sack? I don’t buy it,” Jack said.

            Shepard returned to the couch with her arms full of bottles and set them on the table before settling back in next to Garrus and handing him the brandy.

            “She’s insatiable,” Garrus said.

            “Fuck you both,” Shepard said.

            “Hmmm. There’s an idea,” Garrus said.

            Jack snorted and took a pull off of the bottle of rum. Garrus looked at the bottle of brandy in his hands and twisted the lid off.

            “No glass?” Garrus asked.

            “Glasses are for pussies,” Shepard said.

            “Damn right. She’s a fast learner,” Jack said.

            “Hmmm. Alright. So what are we drinking to?” Garrus asked.

            “We are drinking to the marvel that is how incredibly fucked up Cerberus can be,” Shepard said.

            “And to blowing shit up,” Jack added.

            “Right, and to blowing shit up,” Shepard said.

            “I can drink to that,” Garrus said tilting the bottle back.


	11. Chapter 10: Prioridad Número Uno

**Chapter 10: Prioridad Número Uno**

            Shepard paced the hangar in front of a secondary shuttle. She had done everything that she could to prepare Garrus and his team for what they would likely face on Fehl Prime, and although she had complete faith in Garrus’ ability to handle the situation, she was a nervous wreck. She was tapped in to their comm system, and Garrus left his mic open for her sake. She was listening as Garrus ordered Grundan Krul to secure the door. Kirrahe and his men had done a better job at keeping the collectors at bay than what Shepard could have anticipated. The collectors hadn’t given up though. They were still attacking Fehl Prime, moving in on the clusters of people who had shut themselves inside prefabs and sealed any opening big enough for a seeker to fit through.

            Kirrahe and his STG crew were playing cat and mouse with the collectors, causing distractions and sabotaging their attempts to enter the human facilities. The Alliance was doing what it could, but being comprised of human soldiers, that wasn’t a lot. Those who had full breather suits were able to move around outside to some degree when swarms weren’t present. The breather suits didn’t block the swarms abilities to detect them, though, and Shepard had reports of at least one marine being taken by the collectors after a seeker managed to worm it’s way in through a breech in the suit. Even when the seekers were unable to penetrate the breather suits, they would zero in on the humans and draw the collector troops to their locations.

            The Normandy was positioned as far away from the planet as they could be and still allow for the shuttles to move back and forth between the surface and the ship. Shepard knew that the Normandy’s stealth systems weren’t enough to keep the collector ship off their asses and had managed to work out a plan with EDI and Legion’s help. It was actually Lia’s idea; the quarian was already proving to be quite an asset. They left the Normandy outside of visual range, and activated the stealth systems as an extra precaution, but EDI and Legion were scrambling the ship’s signals making it appear to collector scanners as if the ship were a turian vessel of a much larger size. Of course, if the collectors decided to come closer to investigate, it would be a pointless endeavor but the hope was that they wouldn’t even bother. So far, it looked like the plan was working.

            “We’ve got Alliance and civilians,” Garrus said before she heard a faint chuff come through the comm. “Alright, easy, easy. My name is Garrus Vakarian. My team and I were sent by Spectre Commander Shepard. Councilor Anderson might have sent word that we were coming?”

            Shepard stopped her pacing to listen more intently.

            “Put your damn gun down, pendejo. Do they look like collectors? Dios,” a man’s voice spoke in the background.

            _“James,”_ Jane said perking up in the back of Shepard’s mind.

            Shepard recognized the voice right away. Jane’s memories were becoming so familiar to her, it was difficult at times to be sure which memories where her own and which came from Jane. She resumed her pacing, though less frantic and more thoughtful. Miranda and Jack watched her from opposite sides of the shuttle.

            “Yeah, I recognize you from the vids. You were with the commander on the Citadel but… she’s dead,” James said.

            “Shepard isn’t dead. Well, she was, but she isn’t anymore. It’s complicated. I’ll let her explain that when she’s able to land,” Garrus said.

            “Not complicated. Well, process complicated –,” Mordin stopped short.

            Shepard took that to mean that Garrus had given him ‘the look’.

            “Point being, we’re here to help. There’s an STG team here, Shepard sent them. Do you know where they are?” Garrus asked.

            “The loco salarians? Last I saw of them they had herded a group of collectors into an empty warehouse and blew the place up. That was about three hours ago,” James said.

            _“They’re still alive, that’s good. Kirrahe was a good choice,”_ Jane said.

            “Kirrahe was the only choice. Well, the only solid choice that wasn’t going to bring an end to this war before it really started,” Shepard thought.

            _“Fair enough,”_ Jane said.

            “We’ve got maps. Grundan Krul, open the map. Can you show us where that warehouse is… I didn’t catch your name, I’m sorry,” Garrus said.

            “Operations Chief James Vega. Yeah, I can show you. I’ve got a breather suit, I can take you there if you want,” James offered.

            Shepard broke into the comm and said, “No! Tell him to stay there.”

            _“He’s a damn good marine, Dawn. He’d be able to handle showing them around. It’s not like he’d be out there alone,”_ Jane said.

            “I know… but it isn’t necessary and it would be a stupid risk. Garrus has got this,” Shepard thought.

            _“You’re afraid that being there is going to make things go wrong,”_ Jane said.

            “And so are you,” Shepard thought.

            “Vega? Shepard’s on the comm insisting that you stay put,” Garrus said.

            “She’s on the comm? Right now?” James asked.

            “Patch him through, Garrus,” Shepard said.

            “She wants to talk to you, I’m patching you through to our channel,” Garrus told James.

            A moment later Shepard heard the faint click indicating that there was an addition to the comm.

            “Operations Chief Vega, this is Commander Shepard it is important that you and as many of the Alliance that are present stay with the civilians. Where is your CO? My reports say a Captain Toni?” Shepard said.

            “Hey, how do I know this is really Commander Shepard?” James asked.

            “Gods… Garrus, show him the picture you took of me last night,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard, that uh, that picture maybe isn’t the best one –,” Garrus started to say.

            “Gods, Garrus not that one! The one before,” Shepard said pinching the bridge of her nose.

            Jane scoffed and Shepard could feel her amusement seeping through the barriers of Shepard’s own emotional response. Emotion. That was something else that was getting harder to keep separate.

            “Oh, right,” Garrus said.

            Shepard heard James chuckle before the comms fell silent save the muffling sounds of movement and breathing.

            “Yeah so that looks like Commander Shepard but that still doesn’t prove anything,” James said.

            “Fine, Vega, what will it take?” Shepard said growling with frustration.

            “Uhhhh, I don’t know. Let’s just say that I’m willing to suspend judgement. You’ve got men here to help, we need the help. What’s your plan?” James asked.

            “Vega, your CO?” Shepard said.

            “Oh, right. Captain Toni is with another group of civilians a few buildings down. We’ve had minimal radio contact, I think his comm is damaged,” James said.

            “Alright, how many Alliance are at your location? How many civilians?” Shepard asked.

            “There’s four of us counting me, I’m the ranking officer of those present. There are twenty civilians at this location,” James said.

            “OK, Vega, show Vakarian what he needs on the maps and be prepared to offer assistance if necessary. In the meantime, stay at your location and protect the civilians. Vakarian and his men are going to locate Kirrahe and the rest of the STG,” Shepard said. “Our priority is to secure the data gathered by the STG, but we’re not going to leave you high and dry. Once the data is secured we’re going to do everything we can to get those sons-of-bitches off this planet.”          

            “I’m guessing you can’t tell me what’s so important about this data that rescuing this colony isn’t prioridad número uno?” James asked.

            Shepard hesitated before responding, “It’s what’s going to help us stop the collectors permanently, Vega.”

            “Copy that. You better not be bullshitting me, mi amiga,” James said.

            “Keep yourself alive, Vega, and I’ll see you groundside when Vakarian gives the all clear,” Shepard said.

            _“If he gives the all clear,”_ Jane said.

            “Try to have some faith, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            _“I do, that’s not what I’m saying. I just don’t know what to expect here, Dawn. You’ve left my field of experience,”_ Jane said.

            “Then have faith in my ability to do my job,” Shepard thought.

            “You got it,” James said.

            Shepard listened as James pointed out the location of every last known human holdout and the warehouse the STG were last seen. She didn’t hear anything else from James as Garrus and his team left the prefab in search of Kirrahe, but she was willing to bet good money he was still listening in. That was fine by her maybe he’d learn a thing or two.

            _“Of course he’s still listening,”_ Jane said.

            “Mordin, try whatever STG channels you know, see if you can hail Kirrahe,” Garrus said.

            “Have already. Channels are silent. Probably radio silent for stealth. Can try again,” Mordin said.

            “Do it,” Garrus said.

            Shepard heard a click indicating Mordin switching channels a moment later another click indicated he had rejoined their channel.

            “Still nothing. Wait, what’s that?” Mordin said.

            Shepard could hear the sounds of heavy footfalls. She stayed quiet and waited.

            “Ah, STG marker. Kirrahe left messages. Must have anticipated I would be with you,” Mordin said.

            “What’s it say?” Garrus asked.

            “Ah. Should not go in building. Trapped,” Mordin said.

            “No indication of where they are?” Garrus asked.

            “No,” Mordin said.

            “We’ve got company,” Grundan Krul said.

            “Finally, something to kill,” Grunt said.

            The next ten minutes were filled with sounds of gunfire and Garrus issuing orders. Shepard caught herself holding her breath twice and had to force herself to breathe again when she started to feel light-headed.

            “Clear,” Grundan Krul said.

            “Anyone wounded?” Garrus asked. “No? Alright, let’s move.”

            Shepard and Jane breathed a sigh of relief.

            “Mordin, keep checking those channels,” Garrus said.

            Shepard ran her hands through her hair as she listened to the sounds of movement coming through over the comm. Things were quiet for the most part, that is until the sound of a sudden explosion made her flinch.

            “That’s probably them. Move,” Garrus ordered.

            Shepard could hear only rapid breathing and sounds of running over debris filled terrain for long minutes. Eventually, distant gunfire echoed through and the running slowed down.

            “There! Take cover, and move to flank,” Garrus ordered.

            Shepard listened as the gunfire grew louder and then was joined by the fire and battle cries of Garrus’ team. Miranda began to pace the room parallel to Shepard while Jack stayed leaning against the shuttle. After a few minutes, the gunfire stopped and Mordin gave the all clear.

            “Is it Kirrahe?” Shepard asked.

            “Yeah, looks like. We’re headed towards them now. Looks like they blew up another building filled with collectors and it drew more to their location. We’re clear for now,” Garrus responded.

            _“I hope they’re leaving at least some of the buildings intact. The point is to save the colony, not destroy it,”_ Jane said.

            “No, the point is to gather what data they can and save the colonists. The buildings are complete expendable if it means lives saved,” Shepard thought.

            “Good,” Shepard said.

            “Solus! It’s about time you joined the fight,” a salarian said.

            “Rentola. Good.  Still alive. Where’s Kirrahe?” Mordin asked.

            “He’s checking the building to make sure there weren’t survivors, I’ll take you to him,” Rentola said.

            Shepard muted her mic and turning to Miranda said, “They’ve met up with the STG team. Rentola is taking them to Kirrahe now. We’ll know in a few minutes if they’ve been able to gather sufficient data.”

            Miranda nodded and said, “Good, good. Hopefully they have everything Mordin needs.”

            “Kirrahe, Garrus Vakarian. We met on Virmire,” Garrus voice came through the mic.

            Shepard turned her attention back to the conversation on the ground.

            “Yes, I remember. It is good to see you. Shepard has you leading her team?” Kirrahe asked.

            “That’s correct. She’ll come groundside once the swarms are gone, failing that we’ll take you out of here and to her,” Garrus said. “What’s the situation?”

            “Collectors have been slowly retreating. We think that they are cutting their losses, taking what they’ve already got and preparing to pull out. We have made things as difficult for them as we could and done our best to keep them focused on us and not on the buildings that the colonists are hiding in,” Kirrahe said. “We’ve been able to gather much data, both from the seeker swarms and from the dead collectors as well. I’ll transfer what I have to Solus now.”

            _“One STG team scaring away the collectors. Impressive,”_ Jane said.

            “Did you catch that, Shepard?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard unmuted her mic and answered, “Yes, thank you. Ask Kirrahe to transfer the data to you as well, just as a backup incase things go sideways.”

            “You got it. Kirrahe, send me a copy as well so we’ve got a backup,” Garrus said.

            “Not a problem. Will take a couple of minutes to transfer files. Rentola, take   
Tolan and Imness to scout the south passage,” Kirrahe said.

            “They’re transferring the files now,” Shepard said to Miranda and Jack.

            “Adjustments to the defense cannons almost complete. It will go a lot faster with you here now,” Kirrahe said.

            _“That sounds promising,”_ Jane mused.

            “What adjustments are you making?” Garrus asked. “I might be able to assist.”

            “Come, we’ll show you,” Kirrahe said.

            Shepard heard the sounds of movement once more and waved Miranda over.

            “I’m turning the mic over to Miranda and taking a break. Have EDI get me if anything happens,” Shepard.

            “Of course,” Miranda said.

            “Copy that,” Garrus said.

            Shepard handed her mic over to Miranda and made her way to the mess hall. When Gardner saw her collapse onto one of the benches he began pulling things out of the refrigerated stasis chamber and put her together a sandwich. He brought the plate over to her with a cup of coffee and sat down across from her.

            “How’s the ground team holding up?” Gardner asked as Shepard started into the sandwich.

            “A couple of fights so far, they’ve met up with the STG and are securing the data now,” Shepard mumbled around the food in her mouth.

            “Ha! I knew our boys could handle it. I’ve got to tell you, Shepard, I wasn’t so sure about all the damn aliens you’re bringing aboard but they’ve definitely been earning their keep,” Gardner said.

            Shepard sipped her coffee and nodded her head.

            “The colony isn’t out of the woods yet. They’re doing something with the colony’s cannons, see if they can’t get the collectors to give up and clear out,” Shepard said.

            “Glad to hear it. I’ll let you finish your sandwich in peace. One of the stalls in the men’s bathroom is acting up,” Gardner said standing up from the bench and pulling at the waist of his pants.

            “Uh, yeah, I guess you’d better take care of that. Thanks, Gardner,” Shepard said.

            “That’s what I’m here for,” Gardner said walking away.

            Shepard finished her meal before making her way up to her cabin to take a quick shower. When she returned to the hangar, Jack was gone and Jacob had taken her place. Miranda paced the floor listening intently to the ear piece. She looked up as Shepard approached.

            “They’re working on the guns still. I think Garrus has found a way to improve on what the salarians were doing,” Miranda said.

            “Any further collector activity?” Shepard asked.

            “No, everything has been quiet where they are,” Miranda said handing the mic back to Shepard.

            Shepard fit the mic into her ear and pressed the button before speaking, “I’m back Garrus, have you got a time estimate on those guns?”

            “Hmmmm. I think I can have this done within the hour, so long as things stay quiet,” Garrus said.

            “Excellent. You think they’ll be able to make it through the collector ship’s shields?” Shepard asked.

            “If the Thanix cannon on the Normandy can then this can; just won’t do as much damage once it’s through and we don’t have any way to shield ourselves if the ship starts firing back,” Garrus said.

            “See if you can figure out a way to use the guns remotely,” Shepard said.

            “Come on, Shepard, who do you think you’re talking to here?” Garrus said.

            “Yeah, yeah. Just keep me updated,” Shepard said.

            “Copy that,” Garrus said.

            “Hey Vega, I know you’re listening in. Give me an update,” Shepard said.

            “Things are quiet here, no activity to report,” James said.

            “Thanks, Vega,” Shepard said.

            “No hay problema,” James said.

            Within a few minutes Shepard was pacing the floor in boredom. She could hear the sounds of muffled conversations coming in over the mic and the occasional growl from Garrus as he worked on the guns. Twenty minutes passed and Shepard sat down in the middle of the hangar. Miranda left and Jacob began reading something on a datapad. Suddenly the sounds of gunfire ripped through the mic and Shepard sprang back to her feet tense and ready for a battle she couldn’t fight.

            “Protect the guns,” Garrus ordered.  

            Shepard listened with her jaw clenched until the sounds of battle began to ebb.

            “We’re clear, injuries?” Garrus said. “No? Good, back to the guns.”

            “Hey, I don’t know what you guys did to piss them off but you’ve got swarms of ‘em headed your way,” James said breaking his silence.

            “Thanks for the heads up,” Garrus said.

            “Hey man, you sure you guys don’t need some backup?” James asked.

            “We’re good, for now at least. Just stay where you are and keep the civilians safe,” Garrus said.

            “Yeah, yeah OK,” James said.

            “There they are,” Grunt yelled a few minutes later.

            “Shit, they’re here, too,” James said.

            “Shepard, they’re hitting us hard. I can’t send anyone to help him,” Garrus said in between bursts from his assault rifle.

            “Don’t worry, I got this,” James said.

            _“Gods, he’s going to do something reckless,”_ Jane said.

            “Vega, what are you doing? Don’t do anything stupid,” Shepard said.

            James didn’t answer, Shepard strained to hear a sign that he was still there, still listening over the sounds of battle.

            “Vega? Vega? James gods damn it!” Shepard yelled.

            “I think he cut his mic. We’ll get back to him as soon as we can,” Garrus said.

            “Damn it, yeah,” Shepard said.

            The sound of an explosion rocked through the mic, Shepard winced and hissed.

            “Shepard, you’re flaring. Everything alright?” Jacob said.

            “What?” Shepard asked.

            Jacob pointed down at Shepard’s hands. She glanced down and saw that she was pulling biotic energy up around her hands without intending too. Shepard took a deep breath, watching the energy fade away.

            _“Oh…,”_ Jane said.

            “What?” Shepard thought.

            _“Nothing, never mind,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard tried to push Jane, but Jane retreated further into the back of Shepard’s mind. Shepard didn’t have time to contemplate what was up with Jane so she turned her attention back to the mic.

            “Garrus?” Shepard said into her mic.

            “Yeah, that was Kirrahe, we’re good,” Garrus said.

            “Good,” Shepard said, nodding to Jacob.

            Shepard continued her relentless pacing as her ground team risked their lives without her. Gunfire. Explosions. Pained curses. Aliens fighting more aliens to save human lives. And she couldn’t be down there.

            “I fucking hate this,” Shepard mumbled.

            “Yeah, I feel ya. Just doesn’t seem right, does it? Standing around up here while they’re getting shot at down there,” Jacob said.

            Shepard shook her head and raked her hands through her hair.

            “I’m going to go grab some coffee. You want me to bring you back some?” Jacob asked.

            “Yeah, thanks Jacob,” Shepard said.

            “Sure, no problem,” Jacob said as he walked away.

            Jacob returned a few minutes later and the sounds of battle were still echoing through Shepard’s mic. She stopped her pacing and accepted the cup of coffee from Jacob. She took a tentative sip and smiled, mouthing the words ‘thank you’. Jacob smiled and nodded before taking a drink of his own.

            When finally the gunfire let up, Shepard felt herself relax.

            “One of Kirrahe’s men is down,” Garrus said. “Still alive but he’s hurt pretty bad. I don’t think he’s going to make it if we don’t get him off this planet soon.”

            “Get those damn guns going and get that collector ship out of there,” Shepard said.

            “I’m on them now, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            “Any sign of James?” Shepard asked.

            “Nothing yet, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            “’Course not. Son-of-a-bitch is probably doing something stupid,” Shepard said.

            They had only ten minutes of peace before another wave hit. Shepard’s nerves were on edge. She didn’t know how much longer she could listen to her team taking heavy fire before she hopped in a shuttle and made her way groundside.

            “Shepard, something big is happening in Vega’s direction,” Garrus said.

            “Big? What do you mean big?” Shepard asked.

            “There’s a lot of smoke, I don’t know Shepard, I’m a little distracted here,” Garrus said.

            _“Shit, what is he doing?”_ Jane asked.

            “Yeah. Sorry. Thanks, Garrus,” Shepard said.

            “They’re pulling back,” Garrus said a few minutes later.

            “What?” Shepard asked.

            “They’re retreating,” Garrus said again.

            _“Whatever James did… he’s drawing them away,”_ Jane said.

            “James. Son of a bitch, are they going after James?” Shepard asked.

            “Do you want me to pursue?” Garrus asked.

            “Shepard?” Garrus said when Shepard didn’t respond right away.

            “No. No, stick to the guns. Get them up so we can land,” Shepard said.

            _“You’re… you’re going to let him get killed,”_ Jane said.

            “Don’t, Jane. Just don’t. You know that the data has to come first. James survived this without our interference in your lives, he can do it now,” Shepard thought.

            _“But it’s different now. It’s all different now,”_ Jane said.

            “Copy that,” Garrus said.

            Shepard paced frantically. She knew James liked to take wild risks, at least he did by the time she normally met him. Granted, some of that was because of his unresolved feelings about the way things normally went on Fehl Prime but surely some of that just had to be the soldier’s personality. Long minutes stretched out, feeling like hours broken only by the occasional muttered curse from Garrus on the other end of the mic. Shepard tried intermittently to get James to respond but he was still radio silent. Jane had grown silent as well, but Shepard could feel her worry echoing her own. If something happened to James because Shepard changed things… she didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to consider that she might have caused the death of someone else she cared about.

            “Hmmm. I think that should do the trick,” Garrus said.

            “What? You got it?” Shepard asked.

            “Yeah, I think so. Kirrahe, come take a look,” Garrus said.

            Shepard could hear Kirrahe through the mic as he rattled off a list of changes and made a humming sound.

            “Alright, everyone. On your feet. We’re headed back to Vega. Shepard, I’ve got it set to fire remotely. We’re going to put some distance between us and the gun. See if we can find Vega for you,” Garrus said.

            “Copy that,” Shepard said.

            Shepard listened to the sounds of footfalls as her ground team ran across the debris fields of Fehl Prime back to Vega’s last known location.

            “Shepard, the gun is firing. It looks like it’s breaking through their barriers. Hopefully it gets off a few shots before they return fire. We’re about ten minutes out from where we left Vega. We’re seeing a lot of smoke,” Garrus said.

            “Any sounds of battle… of anything?” Shepard asked.

            After a quiet moment of nothing but footfalls and labored breathing Shepard heard the sound of Garrus’ mandibles snap tight against his jaw.

            “Not yet. I’m sorry, Shepard,” Garrus said regretfully.

            “Don’t apologize. This was my call. Just find him, please,” Shepard said.

            “I’m on it,” Garrus said.

            Barely two minutes had passed when Garrus spoke again, “Shepard, I hear gunfire.”

            “That’s a good sign, it means someone is still alive and fighting,” Shepard said more to herself than to Garrus.

            A few more minutes passed and Shepard was able to hear the gunfire herself coming through the mic. She listened intently as Garrus gave orders to his team and decided on a rendezvous point with Kirrahe. The sounds of battle were growing louder and Shepard’s blood began pumping harder in her veins. She hated being stuck on the ship while the others were down their fighting. Her fingers twitched, wanting desperately to pull her gun and take cover.

            “Spirits,” Garrus’ voice came across the mic harsh and low.

            “What? What is it Garrus?” Shepard asked.

            “I don’t even know how to describe it… your man, Vega, he’s… spirits,” Garrus said.

            _“Oh gods,”_ said Jane.

            “Garrus!” Shepard yelled.

            “He’s alive, Shepard. Relax. He’s… hmmm… He’s on top of a roof with his men. They’ve set half the buildings in this area on fire. There’s a damn ring of fire circling him. Spirits, there are collector corpses everywhere in the fire between the buildings. We’re going to have to put out some of the fire to –,” Garrus said.

            “No! Don’t put out the fire. Not yet. Is it working at all? Is it keeping them back or at least slowing them down?” Shepard asked.

            “Hmmm. They’re just flying over it… though it does seem like their hesitating,” Garrus said.

            “Good. That’s something. Support him from outside of the fire unless it becomes too dangerous,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard I think their having trouble flying over the fire,” Garrus said. “Mordin just confirmed. Something about intense heat and updraft tearing through their hindwings.”

            “Good to know –,” Shepard started to say.

            “Grunt! Damn it,” Garrus yelled.

            “What –,” Shepard said.

            “Hey, hey, ‘bout time you guys joined the party!” Vega broke through on the mic.

            “Grunt just charged through the fire. He’s tossing around injured collectors… what’s that human saying… like a ragdoll,” Garrus said.

            Between the imagery of Grunt playing with a ragdoll and hearing Vega’s voice, Shepard let a bark of laughter escape her lips before she cut it off and cleared her throat.

            “Nice. Vega, you want to tell me what the hell you’re doing?” Shepard said.

            “Barbecuing collectors and guarding the civilians,” James said.

            “What the hell happened? I couldn’t get you on the radio?” Shepard asked.

            “I uh, I lost your channel,” James said.

            “Bullshit. Why the hell did you cut the mic, Vega?” Shepard asked biting the inside of her cheek to keep herself from yelling at him.

            “Because… damn it Jones, get that puta… because I had a feeling you were going to tell me to stay inside. If you really are Shepard, I figured it would be better to get scolded later than to disobey an order,” James said.

            “For the love of gods, Vega…,” Shepard trailed off.

            She almost told him that she wasn’t even Alliance anymore. Sure they had formally stripped her of her rank, not yet, but they weren’t exactly claiming her as one of their own right now. That was a conversation she wanted to have with him in person, though. Of course, she could still pull the Council Spectre card, but they weren’t in Council space. Shepard was lost in her own thoughts, listening to the sounds of a battle she couldn’t fight when she was startled by the sound of James whooping with delight.

            “What’s happening?” Shepard asked.

            “They’re retreating,” Garrus said. “I can see shuttles heading back to their ship, it looks like the guns did some damage before they were taken out. Shepard I think this is it, they’re pulling out.”

            “That’s right, run you cabrones!” James yelled.

            “I’ll get my team ready and wait for your all clear. Get those fires put out and get me a causality count,” Shepard said.

            “Copy that,” Garrus said.

            “Jacob, get ready. EDI, tell the others to suit up we’ll be headed down soon. As soon as that collector ship is gone bring the Normandy in closer,” Shepard said.

            “You got it,” Jacob said.

            “At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Twenty minutes later and the rest of her crew were waiting by the shuttles when Shepard returned to the hangar. She paused briefly when she saw Legion and Lia waiting with the others. She took a breath and nodded to herself. Might as well take them down, maybe word that not all geth are the enemy will make its way around and save her some time down the road. She doubted it, but she could hope.

            _“Yeah, because that can’t possibly go sideways,”_ Jane said.

            “Garrus what’s the situation?” Shepard asked.

            “The collector ship is gone; we haven’t seen any sign that any of them stayed behind except a few that were too wounded to get back to their shuttles. We’ve taken care of those. Still, there isn’t any way to be sure that the swarms left, too. Are you sure you want to risk this?” Garrus asked.

            “Yeah, I’m sure. Even if the swarms are still around, Mordin’s little experiment showed us that their venom isn’t permanent,” Shepard said.

            “It’s your call. You’re clear to land,” Garrus said.

            “On my way,” Shepard said.

            She turned to the others waiting for her orders and motioned towards the shuttle.

            “Miranda, up front with me. Everyone else –,” Shepard said.

            “Wait for me, I’m coming with you,” Dr. Chakwas said entering the hangar carrying two large medic bags slung over her shoulder.

            Jacob jogged over to unburden the doctor, lifting the bags from her shoulders.

            “Dr. Chakwas –,” Shepard started to say.

            “Don’t you dare, Commander. I am an Alliance trained doctor, this is my job. Cerberus or not. There are injured people down there and I’m going,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            Shepard sighed and said, “Alright. Damn this is going to be a tight fit. EDI send the coordinates for the ground team to the shuttle,” Shepard said climbing into a shuttle.

            When everyone was situated and the shuttle doors closed, the door to the hangar lowered and they maneuvered the shuttle out into the darkness of space. Legion had curled up into his drop position on the floor between the two rows of benches at the back of the shuttle. The hour long ride passed relatively quickly once Shepard allowed herself to relax. Garrus had reported in letting her know that all of the civilians that were with James and Captain Toni where alive and accounted for. Many of them had mild injuries; some of those were days old. The wounded salarian on Kirrahe’s team hadn’t made it, and there were two soldiers down. Several more were wounded. It was a good thing that Dr. Chakwas had insisted on coming.

When finally they neared the landing site, Shepard cursed as she saw the extent of the damage done to the buildings Vega sat on fire. There was no way those buildings could be saved, they were going to have to be torn down and new ones built in their place. Vega had saved many of the colonists’ lives but had added a hell of a lot of extra work for them when it came time to rebuild.

Shepard landed the shuttle next to the one her ground team had taken. Garrus must have sent someone to bring it to their location. She smiled when she saw Garrus walking towards the shuttle as the door opened.

“Legion, give me a moment to warn them about you before you come out, OK?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

“I’ll wait with you, Legion,” Lia said.

Legion didn’t respond to the young quarian’s statement. Shepard stepped out of the shuttle and stopped in front of Garrus. They smiled at each other before Garrus turned to stand beside her and survey the damage with her. Mordin was standing next to a prefab attempting to run scans on an annoyed Grunt; Grunt kept swatting the old salarian away. Grundan Krul leaned against the building watching the scene with a blank face. Civilians milled about the area in small clusters, their fearful eyes darting to the sky every few seconds. Shepard spotted two men in Alliance armor pass by but neither were big enough to be James.

Dr. Chakwas stepped out of the shuttle and asked, “Where are the wounded?”

Garrus turned to take in the doctor before pointing her towards one of the larger buildings that had been saved from Vega’s fires. She nodded in thanks before heading towards the building, Jacob walked next to her carrying her bags. Dr. Chakwas paused to talk to Mordin who appeared to give up on trying to scan Grunt and instead followed the doctor inside the building.

“Where’s Vega?” Shepard asked.

Garrus eyes scanned the area before he nodded in the direction of someone exiting one of the buildings. Shepard recognized the bear of a man’s profile as soon as she laid eyes on him. Vega took off his helmet and stuck it under one arm before spitting on the ground and looking up. Shepard watched as his eyes scanned the area until they spotted her. She tilted her head to the side slightly and waited. It was difficult sometimes to remember that she wasn’t supposed to recognize people; wasn’t supposed to care so deeply about people she hadn’t actually met.

James opened the door and stuck his head back in the building for a moment before sauntering over to where Shepard stood now flanked by Jack and Miranda as well. Kasumi had her Tactical Cloak activated but Shepard knew she’d be somewhere nearby. Zaeed was walking across the courtyard like he owned the place to lean against the wall next to Grundan Krul. James was half way to Shepard when the door opened behind him and another man emerged. He looked older than Shepard but he was too far away to pin down the details of his face. He walked out of the building and followed James’ footsteps. James arrived before the other man and came to a stop in front of Shepard. Shepard stood at parade rest and watched the cogs turn in James’ mind as he assessed Shepard. Images from Jane’s memories superimposed themselves over the marine’s face. A little younger, a little less jaded, the James that stood in front of her wore his hair cut a little closer to the scalp and his face was free of the light stubble she expected to see. A scar was missing just below his lip. She couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her mouth when James cursed softly and snapped to a salute.

“Operations Chief James Vega, ma’am,” James said.

“At ease, Vega. Is that Captain Toni coming?” Shepard asked.

James relaxed and nodded in response turning his body to watch Captain Toni approach. The captain’s slight limp wasn’t lost on Shepard but she did her best to pretend not to notice. Shepard saluted out of habit as the captain came within a few feet from her. He stopped and looked at Shepard before nodding his head, acknowledging her salute. Shepard waited in silence taking in the man’s stern face and the slightest hint of creases around his eyes. The sun glinted off the occasional gray hair mixed in with the lighter shade of brown. She could see it in the captain’s eyes that he doubted she was who she claimed to be, even if it seemed she’d convinced James.

“The Alliance has you reported as dead, Commander,” Captain Toni finally spoke.

 _“Maybe you should just release another one of your PSA videos telling the whole galaxy that you’re alive again,”_ Jane said.

“I was dead, sir. My corpse was retrieved and using a series of experimental tech, revived over a two year process. I have spoken with the Alliance, they are aware of my… situation and am here now with Councilor Anderson’s blessing. My Spectre status has been reinstated. I can wait if you wish to seek confirmation,” Shepard said.

Just then a blond headed little girl, no more than seven or eight, came running towards the group. Shepard shifted her gaze to watch as the child yelled James’ name before flinging herself at him. James scooped the child up with his free arm and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Shepard swallowed hard against the knot in her throat. She remembered that there were people here who James was close to, people who normally would have died on Fehl Prime or be taken by the collectors. This child was clearly someone special to him and she was glad that she was able to save him at least one loss.

“I believe, considering the circumstances, that would be best,” Captain Toni said, his eyes shifting to the Cerberus emblem on the side of the shuttles.

Shepard fought back the urge to wince and instead nodded her head. Captain Toni turned and walked back to the building he came from. James sat the child back on her feet and squatted down next to her.

“April, do you know who this is?” James asked the child.

The little girl glanced up at Shepard and Shepard smiled at her. April turned back to James and shook her head.

“That’s Commander Shepard. The first human Spectre,” James said.

The little girl turned back to Shepard and snapped a salute. Garrus chuckled beside Shepard as she saluted the child in return. Shepard stepped closer to the pair and squatted down on April’s other side before extending her hand to the little girl.

“Hello, April. It’s nice to meet you,” Shepard said.

The little girl took Shepard’s hand and held her chin high as she shook it firmly. Shepard caught James’ proud smile as he watched the little girl.

“Hello, Commander Shepard. It’s nice to meet you, too,” April said. “Who are they?”

Shepard glanced back over her shoulder towards Garrus and the others before turning to point at each of them. She whispered to the girl in a low, conspiratorial voice.

“Well, that turian there in the blue armor is Garrus Vakarian. He likes to think he’s big and scary but really he’s just a cute, cuddly kitten,” Shepard said.

April giggled and James snickered. Shepard glanced towards James and smiled before turning back to April.

“Spirits, Shepard. You _know_ I can hear you,” Garrus said.

“Yep,” Shepard said popping the ‘p’. “And that over there is Miranda Lawson.”

Miranda smiled at the little girl and said, “Hello.”

“Hi,” April said. “What about the lady with no hair and all the funny drawings?”

Jack’s lips twitched up in a smirk before she turned to look at the child.

“That’s Jack,” Shepard said.

“Jack is a boy name. How come you didn’t say her last name, too?” April asked.

Shepard’s eyes stayed on Jack, she saw the briefest flicker of something that looked a lot like pain cross the woman’s eyes.

“Well, Jack is really just short for something else but she doesn’t usually like for people to know her whole name,” Shepard said slowly.

Jack’s eyes darted to Shepard’s and her lids narrowed. Shepard nodded her head slightly and Jack’s lips pursed in response. Jack maneuvered around Miranda to stand in front of April.

“Hey kid,” Jack said.

April stuck her hand out at Jack. Shepard raised an eyebrow as Jack hesitated before taking the little girl’s hand and giving it a shake.

“Are you in the Alliance, too?” April asked Jack.

“Fuck no,” Jack said.

“Jack!” Shepard scolded.

Kasumi giggled from somewhere to Shepard’s left. April’s eyes searched the area looking for the source of the sound. She gasped in awe when Kasumi dropped her Tactical Cloak.

“Hello, April. Kasumi Goto at your service,” Kasumi said with a slight bow.

Jack shrugged and said, “What Shepard? I don’t do well with kids.”

James frowned at Jack and stood up. Shepard stood as well and shook her head in dismay.

 “April, why don’t you go see if anyone needs any help with anything?” James said resting his hand on the girl’s shoulder.

Jack shrugged and walked over to the shuttle to lean against the metal frame with her arms crossed. April saluted James, who saluted in return, before running off towards the nearest cluster of civilians. She stopped halfway there and spun around to salute Shepard. Shepard returned the salute and then waved as April ran off.

“So what happens now, Commander?” James asked.

“That depends on your orders and what the colonists want to do. If they want to stay and rebuild or be evacuated. For the love of … Vega why are you looking at me like that?” Shepard asked.

“Sorry, it’s just… loco you know? I mean what did they even do to you?” James asked.

“Perhaps I’ll give you the details someday, Vega, but now really isn’t the time,” Shepard said scratching self-consciously at the nearly faded scars.

“Right, yeah,” James said.

The door to the building that James and Captain Toni came out of opened once more and the captain made his way back to Shepard.

“Operations Chief Vega, I hope you’re not harassing the Commander,” Captain Toni said.

“No, sir,” James said.

“Commander Shepard, I’ve spoken with Anderson. We’re ready to offer you whatever assistance you require while you’re on Fehl Prime,” Captain Toni said.

“Thank you, Captain. I’m more interested in what assistance we can offer you during our short stay. If you have a moment, there is a matter of a sensitive nature that I should discuss with you before we move forward,” Shepard said.

“Of course,” Captain Toni said extending a hand towards the building.

“Garrus, wait by the shuttle. Legion and Lia are still inside,” Shepard said.

“You brought Legion? Of course you did. Makes perfect sense, nothing crazy about that,” Garrus said shaking his head.

Shepard smirked and said, “You know me so well.”

Shepard started walking to the prefab when Captain Toni stopped and turned to James.

“Vega, don’t you have something better to do than to follow the commander around while she’s here?” Captain Toni asked.

“Yes, sir,” James said and started to turn away.

“Actually, Captain, if it’s alright with you it might be best for at least some of your men to hear what I have to say. They can help to disseminate the information to the crowds,” Shepard said.

“Alright then, Vega, get two of the others,” Captain Toni said.

“Aye, aye, Captain,” James said before heading towards a different prefab.

Shepard followed Captain Toni into the prefab which he had laid out as his command station. A map of Fehl Prime occupied a large section of the far wall. A desk situated next to a side wall faced out towards the room. Shepard spotted a cane leaning against the metal desk next to the Captain’s chair.

“Have a seat, Commander,” Captain Toni said.

Shepard didn’t really feel like sitting but she felt that the Captain might need to sit himself so she nodded and waited for him to seat himself before taking a chair on the opposite side of his desk.

“We’ve been getting stragglers making their way into the camp over the last half hour. We’ve reason to believe that there may be more civilian hold outs spread throughout Fehl Prime. If you are intent on helping us, a search for survivors might be the best way that you can do that,” Captain Toni said.

“My team and I will be happy to help with the search. Regretfully, we really will not be able to spare more than a couple of days but we will do our best while we’re here,” Shepard said.

Captain Toni nodded his head and started to speak but stopped short when the door opened and James entered with two marines behind him. The three men entered the room and saluted standing a few feet away from Shepard.

“At ease,” Captain Toni said.

They fell to parade rest and the three of them watched Shepard curiously.

“Commander,” Captain Toni said inviting Shepard to speak.

“I’ll do my best to answer whatever questions you have about these attacks, but first, I’d like to tell you something about the geth,” Shepard started.

“The geth? Are they involved in these attacks?” Captain Toni asked.

“No sir, in fact, the geth are far more complicated than what we realized. I’ve encountered a geth platform designed to interact with organics. He was able to relay to me information explaining the activity we have noted in the past with Saren and the attacks on the Citadel,” Shepard said.

“Interesting. What did this geth tell you?” Captain Toni asked, the skepticism in his voice was not lost on Shepard.

“The geth that joined with Saren were a sub-group and not representative of all geth. As with humans, and any other organic species, there was a division among the geth on whether to join with Saren. Those who did allowed their code to be rewritten, changing them fundamentally from the others who did not join with Saren. There has since been a civil war or sorts, between these two factions of geth,” Shepard said.

“Excuse me, Commander. I’m sorry, but am I to understand that you’re telling me that what – there are two races of geth at war with one another? Why does this matter to us?” Captain Toni asked.

“It matters to us because those that remained unchanged are not responsible for the attacks on the Citadel. Those that remained unchanged have sought us out and offered themselves in an alliance. They wish to work with us to fight the other faction, those they call ‘heretics’, and the reapers,” Shepard said.

“Officially, the reapers don’t exist, Commander,” Captain Toni said.

“Officially,” Shepard said with a raised eyebrow. “I doubt you made the rank of Captain without learning that what is said to be ‘official’ is not always the truth. You can choose to accept the politicians’ words or mine. Either way, it doesn’t change what I have to say right now.”

Captain Toni grunted before saying, “Go on.”

“The geth platform I have been talking about has joined me in this fight against the collectors as well. He has provided my team with invaluable information detailing any known collector sightings and heretic activity. They don’t want war with us – or any other organic for that matter, Captain,” Shepard said.

Captain Toni leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers in front of his lips, watching Shepard. After a moment of silence he lowered his hands and leaned forward towards Shepard.

“I take it you have passed this information on to the Alliance already?” Captain Toni asked.

“Councilor Anderson has been informed and has met the geth platform himself,” Shepard said.

“So why are you telling me this now, Commander?” Captain Toni asked.

“Because the geth is here with me today,” Shepard said.

Captain Toni bolted out of his seat. James and the others shifted around nervously to the side.

 _“And here we go,”_ Jane said.

“You’re telling me you brought a geth to this colony? Right after being attacked while we’re vulnerable and have wounded?” Captain Toni asked, his voice rising.

Shepard stood slowly to her feet and clasped her hands behind her back.

“His name is Legion and he is one of my team, Captain. I assure you that you are far more of a threat to him than he is to you. I would like for Legion to have the chance to prove himself by helping this colony while we’re here but if this is something you are not prepared to handle I will do you the courtesy of escorting him and the rest of my team back to our ship,” Shepard said with a cool, level tone.

The captain and the commander stood staring at each other in silence until Captain Toni shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Take me to it. I need to see this myself before I allow it to walk around this colony,” Captain Toni finally said.

“Of course,” Shepard said.

Shepard led Captain Toni and his men back to the shuttle. Garrus watched their approach, his assault rifle had never left his hands and now Shepard could see him adjusting his grip and watching her for a signal. She shook her head slightly telling him that things were fine and to stand down. Grunt had joined Garrus by the shuttle but Jack and Miranda where nowhere to be seen at the moment. Kasumi was crouched down using a stick to draw in the dirt with a group of children next to a building. She looked Shepard’s way when she walked past and Shepard gave her a smile; Kasumi resumed working on her masterpiece.

Shepard stopped next to the shuttle and opened the door. She stuck her head inside and glanced at Lia before locking on to Legion.

“Legion, the Alliance Captain Toni would like to speak with you before you leave the shuttle. Is that acceptable to you?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

Shepard climbed into the shuttle and motioned Captain Toni inside. The captain moved to the shuttle door and paused when his eyes found the geth sitting next to the quarian in the shuttle. Hesitantly he stepped into the shuttle and sat down next to Shepard. James moved to stand next to Garrus both blocking the inside of the shuttle from prying eyes and keeping a close eye on his CO.

“Dios,” James said in a hushed tone.

“Captain Toni, this is Legion. Legion, I’ve told Captain Toni a little about the heretics and the current war with the geth. I’ve told him about your offer of aid in the war. I think the captain needs to hear some of it from you directly,” Shepard said.

Legion turned his head and focused his optics in on Captain Toni, the plating around his optics fluttered as he studied the human captain in silence.

“He’s waiting for you to ask your questions, Captain,” Lia offered. “Legion doesn’t understand the need to respond to simple statements. To him, his acceptance is evidenced by his lack of refusal.”

“I see. Thank you Miss…,” Captain Toni said.

“Oh, sorry. I’m Lia'Vael nar Ulnay,” Lia said.

“Thank you Miss Vael. Are you his… caretaker?” Captain Toni said although his eyes never left Legion.

“What? No, I’m his friend,” Lia said.

“Friend? I see,” Captain Toni said slowly, his eyebrows twitching in surprise. “Legion, is it?”

“Yes, Legion is the name Shepard-Commander has assigned to us,” Legion said.

“You named it?” Captain Toni asked glancing at Shepard.

“If I hadn’t he would have just kept calling himself geth and that’s just confusing,” Shepard said with a shrug.

“I see. Legion, the commander tells me that your… people… are engaged in a civil war,” Captain Toni said.

Legion’s optics dilated and contracted but he remained silent.

“He meant that as an invitation for you to tell him more,” Lia said.

Legion looked at Lia before turning back to Captain Toni.

“Yes, the heretics have attacked the geth. They are attempting to force a programing rewrite on the geth so that we will become heretics, too. We do not want to become heretics, we do not want to worship the old machines,” Legion said.

“The old machines?” Captain Toni asked looking to Shepard.

“The reapers,” Shepard said.

“The… heretics worship the reapers?” Captain Toni asked Legion.

“Yes,” Legion responded.

“And you are what? An Ambassador for the geth?” Captain Toni asked.

“That would be an accurate comparison, yes,” Legion said.

“So, you’re able to form alliances on behalf of the geth?” Captain Toni asked.

“No,” Legion said.

“It doesn’t work that way with the geth, Captain,” Lia explained. “The geth share thoughts and come to a consensus. Legion’s platform has multiple programs running inside of it, they form a consensus together to decide on Legion’s responses to external stimuli but in order to offer any sort of statement on behalf of all geth those programs must return to the larger geth program population, share what they know, and form a new consensus.”

“So it was decided already that you would attempt to form an alliance with us to fight this war?” Captain Toni asked.

“Yes, the consensus was decided and this platform was sent to find Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

“Why Commander Shepard? Why not the Council?” Captain Toni asked.

“Shepard-Commander opposed the old machines and the heretics while the others failed to come to the correct consensus,” Legion said.

“What does that mean?” Captain Toni asked Shepard.

“It means that he sought me out because I made a lot of noise about the reapers and continued to fight even when the Council was busy insisting that the reapers didn’t exist,” Shepard said.

“Yes,” Legion said.

Captain Toni leaned back against the shuttle wall.

“How do you know that it’s telling the truth?” Captain Toni asked.

Lia cleared her throat and said, “The geth, although highly intelligent, simply don’t understand the purpose of lying. Lying is an organic trait brought on by a social awareness, emotions, and a sense of individuality. Geth simply don’t have that. Sure, it is possible for them to lie to organics, but they simply don’t see a reason to. The way geth interact with one another, lying is not even possible between geth.”

“I see. And Councilor Anderson has allowed this?” Captain Toni asked Shepard.

“He was skeptical initially, but he listened to what I had to say and spoke to Legion himself. He’s grateful for whatever help we can get,” Shepard said.

“Alright, who am I to argue with the Councilor? I trust that you are prepared to take responsibility for Legion’s actions while he is here, Commander?” Captain Toni asked.

“Absolutely,” Shepard said.

“Vega, you and the others spread the word. I don’t need a riot on my hands when Legion leaves this shuttle. People need to be prepared. All you need to tell them is that some of the geth have allied with us, and that one of their Ambassador’s is with Commander Shepard. Make sure they understand that it isn’t here to attack them, but to help,” Captain Toni said.

“Aye, aye, Captain,” Vega said with a salute before turning back to his teammates.

“Give us a few minutes to make sure everyone is ready,” Shepard said to Legion and Lia before exiting the shuttle.

Captain Toni seemed more than grateful to leave the confined space. Almost immediately, a crowd began to form around the shuttle. Marines and civilians alike pressed in around each other hoping to steal a glimpse of Legion. Her team reassembled around her, all save Dr. Chakwas who stayed with her patients. When Vega pushed his way back through the crowd to report that everyone had been warned, Shepard opened the shuttle once more.

 _“This could go really, really badly, Dawn. Are you sure you want to do this?”_ Jane said as Shepard’s eyes swept over the crowd.

“Yes,” Shepard thought.

“Come on out, you two,” Shepard said.

Lia was the first to exit the shuttle; hushed murmurs rode through the crowd. She stepped aside leaving room for Legion. The geth ducked his head as he exited the shuttle. The crowd gasped as one. Legion moved his head slowly from left to right, his optics narrowing. Shepard knew that he was examining and cataloging each and every face in the crowd. Shepard watched cautiously as more than one marine tightened their grip on their weapons or rested their hands on holstered guns. She breathed a sigh of relief to see that the Delta Squad was trained well enough to keep their shit together.

“April! No!” A woman’s voice broke through the silence.

 _“Fucksake. Gods don’t let them start shooting,”_ Jane said.

April wormed her way through the crowd and came running right up to Legion. James moved in to intercept the child and scooped her up in her arms.

“I want to say hello to the geth!” April said squirming to get down.

“Settle down, niñita. You’re going to give tu madre a heart attack,” James said.

A woman pushed through the crowd towards James but hesitated along the edges of the ring of marines and civilians. The marines shifted around, adjusting their grip on their guns. Their eyes glued to Legion, ready to take action if he made any move against the little girl.

“We acknowledge the human child’s greeting and offer greeting in kind,” Legion said watching April.

April squirmed and managed to break free of James’ grip. Before he could get a hold of her again she was standing in front of the geth and everyone in the crowd was holding their breath. James was right behind April, his hand resting protectively on her shoulder. He shared at look with Shepard and Shepard knew that James had deliberately just placed himself to act as a shield for the geth as much as for the child. He had taken a leap of faith on her word; Shepard smiled reassuringly at James. Some of the tension left the marine’s face but he refused to leave April’s side.

“I don’t know what that means,” April said looking up at Legion.

Legion’s optic plating fluttered momentarily before he spoke again, “It means hello, human child.”

April held her hand out to Legion and said, “My name is April. What’s yours?”

Legion took April’s hand and gave it a shake. Everyone in the crowd gasped once more. The crowd began murmuring again as the child’s mother came to stand at James side, reaching a hand out blindly to find her daughter while keeping terrified eyes on Legion.

“We are called Legion,” he said.

“Alright, April, why don’t we give Legion some space, OK?” James said.

“OK,” April said.

 “See, I got this,” Shepard thought.

 _“Don’t get cocky, Dawn. Those marines could have open fired at any time. Even if you managed to survive, someone here wouldn’t have. I hope that this was worth the risk,”_ Jane said.

“Don’t be melodramatic. These are Alliance marines, they wouldn’t have open fired in the middle of a civilian crowd unless they had no choice,” Shepard thought crossly.

April allowed herself to be pulled away by her mother. Slowly the crowd began to dissipate. Kirrahe and the surviving STG made their way through the remaining crowd of people to look at Legion with large blinking eyes.

“Kirrahe, good to see you. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done here. I am truly impressed that you were able to help save as many as you did,” Shepard said shaking the major’s hand. “I owe you one.”

Kirrahe smiled and said, “It is good to have a Spectre that thinks she owes me a favor.”

Shepard chuckled.

“You sent them here?” Captain Toni asked.

“I helped set it up, yes,” Shepard said.

“You knew this was going to happen?” Captain Toni asked.

“I had reason to suspect, I’m sorry Captain Toni but I can’t offer you further explanation,” Shepard said.

“Fair enough. Whatever the reason, thank you,” Captain Toni said before turning his attention to Kirrahe. “And thank you again, Major. I don’t think many of us would be left if it weren’t for you and your team.”

“As Commander Shepard has made clear to us, it is likely only a matter of time before the collectors begin branching out. I am pleased to be able to take whatever preventative measures I can to stop this from becoming a galactic problem,” Kirrahe said.

 _“It’s already a galactic problem, the rest of the galaxy is just too dense to recognize the threat,”_ Jane said.

“Dr. Chakwas has already begun treating the wounded. Lia, why don’t you give her a hand. Miranda, please work with whomever the captain assigns to inventory what we have and what is needed,” Shepard said doling out orders. “Mordin, I’m sending you back to the ship to begin analyzing the data. Jacob, you take Mordin and bring the shuttle back. Captain Toni, I could use some of your squad to help with the search. I don’t expect you to send everyone, I know many of you need the rest and the civilians need guarding but if you can spare a couple of men who know the area well and would be familiar faces to any civilians we find, it would be appreciated.”

“I volunteer, Captain,” James said.

“Of course you do, she’s your bloody idol,” another marine said before saluting his CO.

“And you’ve just volunteered yourself, Essex. The two of you are under Commander Shepard’s command,” Captain Toni said.

“Aye, aye, Captain,” James and Essex said.

Shepard gave a sidelong glance to James. That was news to her. Sure, in Jane’s memories James always saluted her and was showed her disrespect even while acting as her prison guard but he hardly had the deference she would have expected from someone who idolized her. Hell, James was downright insubordinate most of the time. James kept his eyes locked on his CO but Shepard caught the faint hint of red creep up the marine’s neck and spread across his cheeks.

“If you’ll come with me, I’ll get you set up, Miss…,” Captain Toni said to Miranda.

“Miranda Lawson,” Miranda said accepting the hand that Captain Toni extended.

Shepard watched as Captain Toni led Miranda away and she heard him say, “I must admit, Miss Lawson, that I am not exactly comfortable with the idea of accepting aid from Cerberus…”

Jacob and Mordin climbed into one of the shuttles. Shepard pointed out the building that Dr. Chakwas entered to Lia before turning to James and Essex. The two men turned to her and saluted.

“Oh no, no don’t do that,” Shepard whined making a distasteful face. “You’re not going to be doing that every five minutes. I’ll shoot you both myself.”

“I’d listen to her if I were you,” Garrus said moving to stand next to Shepard.

Essex laughed and dropped his hand before saying, “Well, we wouldn’t want that.”

James dropped his hand and said, “So, where do you want to start?”

“Idol, huh?” Shepard responded, a mischievous smile creeping across her face.

James scowled at Essex before rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Uhhh, yeah, well I mean you’re Commander Shepard. A legend, ya know? You and the Normandy crew… what you guys did on the Citadel and everything. Dios,” James said.

“Hmmm,” Garrus said.

“Relax, Vega. I’m just giving you a hard time. I’m honored, really,” Shepard said. “Let’s see those maps of yours; we’ll get a search grid set up.”

“Kirrahe, are you good to help with the search or do you need to rest?” Shepard asked.

“We can help, not a problem,” Kirrahe said.

“Alright, we’ll split into three teams. Garrus, you’ll take Grunt, Kasumi, Essex, and Grundan Krul. Vega, Jack, Zaeed, and Legion will be with me. Kirrahe, you’ll have your STG team. You’ve been here long enough now that I suspect the civilians will recognize you,” said Shepard. “We’ll stay in radio contact and do a section by section sweep. I don’t want any of us more than a few minutes away from each other in case something happens.”

“Excuse me?” a woman’s voice spoke up from behind Shepard.

Shepard turned to see a small group of civilians gathered together. Her eyes landed on a young woman, likely in her early twenties who had stepped forward.

“We would like to help you with the search,” she said.

Shepard did a quick head count and saw that there were fifteen of them gathered. They all looked to be in decent enough shape to make their way through rubble and debris. There were no children, no elderly, and no wounded among them so Shepard nodded.

“It may not be safe out there,” Shepard said.

 _“It will make the search go quicker,”_ Jane said.

“Not uncommon for civilians to help with search parties,” Shepard thought.

“We know and we’re willing to take that risk. Many of us have family missing, let us help,” the woman said.

“What’s your name?” Shepard asked.

“Micha,” she said.

“Alright Micha, under the condition that you stick with us and follow orders. I can’t have any of you wandering off on your own. Can you all do that?” Shepard asked.

Everyone in the group nodded in agreement.

“Are you alright with taking a few of them with your team?” Shepard asked Kirrahe.

The salarians spoke quietly amongst themselves for a minute before Kirrahe nodded.

“Alright, Vega, assign them teams,” Shepard said.

“Me?” Vega asked his eyebrows rising.

“You. You know these people, Vega. I don’t. You’ll have a better idea of where they can be the most useful,” Shepard said.

“Uh, alright,” James said with a shrug.

“You sure you want to take goddamn civilians, Shepard?” Zaeed asked.

“It’s a search team, Zaeed, not a battle that we’re walking into,” Shepard said.

“Suit yourself but if we find any collector stragglers don’t expect me to babysit,” Zaeed said.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Zaeed,” Shepard said rolling her eyes.

Shepard watched as James surveyed the crowd, assigning people to their new teams. She nodded quietly to herself as he worked. With the teams formed, Shepard had James send a copy of the search grid to everyone’s omni-tools. Sections on the grid were assigned to each team and they moved out from the camp.


	12. Chapter 11: Ídolo

**Chapter 11: Ídolo**

It was long, slow work as they moved from building to building searching for civilians. Captain Toni was right, within the first two hours Shepard’s team alone had found a total of forty civilian survivors held up in buildings. Half of them were dehydrated, and several were wounded. All of them panicked when they saw Legion, but James and the other locals were able to calm them down.

In the third hour, Legion stopped near a partially collapsed three-story building. They had moved away from the living areas and were entering the industrial areas of the mining colony.

“Shepard-Commander, there are life signs coming from this location,” Legion said.

“Dios. How can anyone be alive under all of that?” James asked.

“Legion, can you pinpoint exact locations? How many are you seeing?” Shepard asked.

“There are four living organics, we have narrowed down their locations and are mapping the least restrictive route,” Legion said.

“Legion, focus on figuring out what pieces of debris can be moved without causing a collapse. If we cause too much shifting, the debris could crush whoever is down there. An organic won’t survive that,” Shepard said.

“We understand, Shepard-Commander, and are taking this into consideration,” Legion said.

“Garrus, Kirrahe?” Shepard said into her comm.

“Yeah?” Garrus said.

“I read,” said Kirrahe.

“We’ve got life signs buried beneath a collapsed building. We’re going to be here for a while,” Shepard said.

“Do you want us to come to your position?” Garrus asked.

“No, not yet at least. Just stick to your sections and keep moving forward. I’ll call you if we need assistance,” Shepard said.

“Copy that,” Kirrahe said.

“It’ll be getting dark soon,” Garrus said.

“Yeah, I’ll have Vega radio Toni to have someone bring some lights and other supplies out. I’ll check back with you in a half hour,” Shepard said.

“Copy that,” Garrus said.

“Vega, radio Captain Toni and give him the sitrep. We’re going to need lights, water, rations, and blankets. Ask him to tell Dr. Chakwas we’ll need her out here,” Shepard said.

“You got it,” James said.

“Shepard-Commander, we believe we have found an acceptable path to the first person. Biotic assistance will help keep the debris from shifting,” Legion said.

“Excellent. You hear that Jack, you ready to be a hero?” Shepard asked with a grin.

“Yeah, yeah. Fuck you. Alright, let’s do this,” Jack said.

“Captain Toni is sending out men with supplies, and your doctor is coming, too,” James said walking back up to Shepard.

“Good. Vega, you ready to put those muscles of yours to use?” Shepard asked.

James made a show of flexing but the display was lost to the fact that he was still in armor. Shepard chuckled.

“Alright, Legion, walk us through this,” Shepard said.

Legion moved around the area, stepping carefully, each movement carefully orchestrated after running complex mathematical equations to ensure that his steps would not cause the delicately balanced structure to collapse further. Shepard winced every time her less graceful movements caused something to slip. She saw the same reaction several times over on the other human faces around her.

With Legion’s guidance, James and Zaeed lifted chunks of metal, broken furniture, and large shards of glass while Jack stabilized the area with her biotic field. Twice something started to slip and Legion was there, his mechanical strength catching things before it all came tumbling down. Shepard used her biotics, meager compared to Jack’s, to help stabilize the area where she could. Micha and the other’s helped to clear an area further away where Dr. Chakwas could tend to anyone they were able to save. They uncovered several bodies in the process and were carrying them away from the building to lay them out on the grass. Dr. Chakwas arrived in a shuttle with two marines who quickly went to work setting up flood lights and helping the others to clear the area.

“Wait, did you hear that?” James asked, pausing with a cracked tabletop in his hands.

“Yes,” Legion responded.

“What? What is it?” Shepard asked.

“I think I heard someone calling for help. I think we’re close,” James said.

“Yes,” Legion said.

“Alright, good. Try talking to them, Vega but keep working,” Shepard said.

Shepard made her way to Dr. Chakwas. An hour had passed since they started moving debris and most of her area was cleared.

“Dr. Chakwas, we can hear the first person calling out now. They’re conscious and we’re getting close. Are you ready?” Shepard asked.

“Of course,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard nodded and activated her mic before taking a couple of steps away.

“We’ve nearly reached the first survivor. What’s your status?” Shepard asked.

“Kirrahe here, we’ve covered three more sections and are moving on to the next area. We’ve located another twenty people. We’re seeing fewer and fewer of them as we move further away from the Alliance camp,” Kirrahe said.

“That was expected, unfortunately. Garrus where’s your team?” Shepard asked.

“Shepard, we’ve found a building with several people… they’re refusing to leave and they’re acting strange. Something isn’t right here,” Garrus said.

“Acting strange how?” Shepard asked.

“I don’t know… it reminds me a little bit of how you described the people on Feros,” Garrus said.

 _“Could there be another thorian here? Or… is it indoctrination?”_ Jane mused.

“Shit, send me your coordinates and back away. Don’t engage anyone just wait for me,” Shepard said.

“You got it, sending them now,” Garrus said.

Shepard checked the thermal clips on her weapons before turning back to Dr. Chakwas.

“Garrus’ team may be in trouble. I have to go. I’ll leave the others here,” Shepard said.

“Alright, Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said, watching as Shepard turned on her heel and made her way back to her team.

“You guys good here?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

“Where you going?” Jack asked.

“I’ve got to get to Garrus’ team, they’ve encountered a situation,” Shepard said.

“Situation, right. Whatever,” Jack said.

“I’ll come with you,” James said.

“No, you stay here and move things, pup. I’ll go,” Zaeed said.

“They need you here, Vega,” Shepard said.

“No they don’t, I’m just moving heavy shit. Mike or Rammel can do this. I know this place, Commander, and it’s getting dark. Take me with you,” James said.

Shepard pursed her lips in thought before waving at James.

“Alright, let’s go,” Shepard said. “We’ll be on foot so we’ll be running.”

“Running? Eh, to hell with that. I’ll stay and lift heavy shit,” Zaeed said.

James laughed as he carefully set aside a chunk of metal wall and whistled loudly. He waved over one of the civilians. The man was probably in his forties and built like an ox, Shepard remembered his name was Mike and he worked one of the farms. Fehl Prime was a mining colony but someone had to keep the people fed.

“Mike, I’m going with the Commander. One of the other teams needs some help. Take over for me?” James asked the man.

“Sure, where do you need me?” Mike asked.

“Where ever the geth, uh, Legion, tells you to be. You need to listen to him, OK? He knows exactly where the people who are trapped under there are and what you can safely move without crushing them,” James said.

“I can do that,” Mike said.

“Good. Take turns with Rammel when you need a break. Tell him the same thing,” James said.

Micha walked up then and said, “I can help… Jack. I’m not as strong as she is, not by a long shot but maybe I can handle some of the smaller things so she can save her strength for the bigger stuff.”

“Jack, you think you can play nice with Micha?” Shepard asked.

“Fuck you, Shepard,” Jack growled through clenched teeth as she used her biotics to move a large section of debris.

“I take that as a yes,” Shepard said.

“Shepard-Commander, we have uncovered the target,” Legion said.

Micha was on her stomach and reaching down into the hole when Shepard yelled, “Micha, wait!”

Micha paused and looked up.

“Dr. Chakwas, we need you over here now,” Shepard yelled back towards the doctor.

Dr. Chakwas grabbed a bag and ran towards the dig team. She started assessing her patient, determining what injuries the young woman had and whether it was safe to move her yet. Shepard motioned to James and the two of them left the dig site while Dr. Chakwas gave orders to Mike and Micha on how to move the woman. The others were gathering around to watch in tense silence.

Shepard gave James the coordinates and let him take the lead. The two of them ran through the ruined colony of Fehl Prime, weaving around collapsed prefabs and smoldering fields until Shepard had eyes on Grunt’s unmistakable form in the last vestiges of daylight. She scanned the area and soon spotted Garrus and Grundan Krul standing next to the group of civilians they had taken on the search. Shepard couldn’t find Kasumi but that was no surprise. Essex wasn’t too far away, leaning against a stack of crates. Shepard cursed; she had forgotten for a moment that they had civilians with them.

She tapped her radio and spoke, “Garrus, I’m coming up on your six.”

“Yeah, I already heard you and that Vega, he makes damn near as much noise as Grunt,” Garrus said.

Garrus turned his head to glance over his shoulder at Shepard and James before returning his eyes to a building about a hundred meters away.

“What is this place, Vega?” Shepard asked as the closed the distance to Garrus.

“Research labs. There are several of them on Fehl Prime,” James said.

“What are they researching?” Shepard asked.

James shrugged and said, “Something to do with some prothean ruins nearby. Sorry, Commander, that’s all I know.”

 _“Prothean ruins… there could be another beacon nearby. But… I don’t remember anything prothean causing people to act strange. Reaper and leviathan tech, the thorian sure, but that’s about it I think. Maybe they’re just being secretive, trying to protect what they’ve found,”_ Jane said.

“We’ll soon find out,” Shepard thought.

Shepard and James reached Garrus and the others gathered closer.

“What do we have?” Shepard asked.

“There are at least ten men and women in there. Essex said they do research here, though he isn’t sure on what. When we arrived, they were all just calmly going about their business like nothing had happened. The building looks untouched, no one inside seems hurt,” Garrus said. “I asked them how they survived the collector attacks but they were evasive. Same thing when I asked what they were working on here. No surprise there really but when I tried to convince them to lock up the labs and head back to the camp until the area has been secured they refused.”

“If they aren’t hurt I don’t see the problem,” James said.

“It’s just the way they all sounded. I don’t know how to explain it Shepard but all of my years in C-Sec are yelling at me that something isn’t right here,” Garrus said.

Essex spoke up, “They are acting odd but I don’t see how it’s our concern. We should be looking for people who do need our help.”

Shepard glanced toward the building. She hated going in blind, she had gotten far too used to Jane being able to tell her what to expect. She trusted Garrus’ instincts so if he said something wasn’t right, then something wasn’t right. She needed to get the civilians out of here.

“Essex, I want you to lead the civilians back to the camp. If something is wrong here, we need them to get to safety,” Shepard said.

 _“You’re keeping James with you?”_ Jane asked.

“I am,” Shepard thought without explanation.

“Essex could relieve Jack,” James said.

“You’re a biotic?” Shepard asked.

“A damn good one if I do say so myself,” Essex said with a grin.

“Alright, take them and go to these coordinates. We’ve found survivors buried beneath debris. Jack is working to stabilize the area while others move stuff out of the way. She could probably use a break. Just listen to what Legion tells you to do,” Shepard said.

“The geth?” he asked.

“Yeah, is that a problem?” Shepard asked.

“No ma’am,” Essex said.

“OK, head out Essex,” she said.

Essex gathered up the few civilians that were with Garrus’ team and left the way Shepard and James arrived. Shepard motioned to her team, moving them forward towards the building in silence. Shepard sent Grundan Krul to move counter-clockwise around the building while she moved clockwise. Garrus set up a sniper position while Grunt and James took up position by the door. Kasumi moved next to James and disappeared.

Shepard and Grundan Krul moved around the building noting exits and peering into any windows they could reach. Shepard stopped next to a window and glanced inside, staying low and to the side. She saw three men in white and green lab coats standing over a metal slab. Their backs were to the window and they were blocking her view of whatever they had on that slab. She watched a moment longer and one of them moved to the side. Shepard caught a glimpse of a blue glow before another moved and she saw the lifeless eyes of a husk lying on the table.

Shepard activated her mic and spoke in a hushed tone, “I’ve got three men doing something to a husk on this side. I’m moving forward.”

 _“That doesn’t really tell us much. There were husks with the collectors. It wouldn’t have been too difficult for them to snag one during the battle,”_ Jane said.

“You’re right,” Shepard thought. “Let’s see what else we can find.”

Just before Shepard reached the next window, Grundan Krul’s voice came through her ear piece.

“There’s no one in this room. Just a strange light, I can’t see what’s making the light it’s just there hovering in the middle of some structure,” Grundan Krul said.

“Reaper artifact,” Shepard and Jane said together.

“I’m coming to your location,” Shepard said.

Shepard ducked low and ran along the outer wall of the building. She stopped at the edge of the wall to peer around the corner before continuing on to where she saw Grundan Krul crouched outside of a window halfway down the building. He glanced over at her when he caught sight of her movement. Shepard stopped across from Grundan Krul at the windows other corner and peered inside.

“Fuck,” Shepard whispered.

“What is it?” Grundan Krul asked.

“Reaper artifact, I think,” Shepard said. “We’ve seen these before in locations with reaper and heretic activity. Let’s get back to the others. I’ve seen what I need to see.”

Grundan Krul nodded and followed Shepard back around to the front of the building. Shepard activated her mic along the way.

“Confirmed reaper and/or heretic tech in the lab. Occupants likely to be indoctrinated. We’re moving back your way, prepare for entry and expect hostile activity,” Shepard said.

“Copy that,” Garrus replied.

“Commander, I should call Captain Toni,” James said.

“Belay that, Vega. They likely already know where here, we need to move on this and secure this location immediately,” Shepard said.

“You’re the boss,” James said.

“Vega, I need you to be sure about this if you’re going in there with us. You can’t hesitate, are you good?” Shepard asked.

“I’m good, Commander,” James said.

Shepard and Grundan Krul rounded the corner and met back up with James and Grunt at the same time as Garrus. The door had been locked from the inside. Grundan Krul stepped up and opened his omni-tool, bypassing the doors lock before looking to Shepard. Shepard nodded and Grundan Krul slammed his fist against the door’s release and stepped aside. The door slid open and Shepard peered in, the entryway was empty.

She motioned her men inside and they secured the area while she moved into position at the next door. Once her team was in place, Grundan Krul opened the door. Shepard glanced inside and saw four men in lab coats armed with pistols. They started firing at the door and Shepard ducked her head back in cover.

“This is Council Spectre Commander Shepard. Lower your weapons and you won’t be harmed,” Shepard yelled loud enough for the men in the room to hear her.

They acknowledged her announcement with more shots fired towards her location.

“This is your last warning; lower your weapons, now!” Shepard yelled again.

“The Council has no jurisdiction here, Spectre. You can’t stop us. You can’t stop any of this!” one of the men said.

The gunfire continued. Shepard nodded to her team before returning fire. She took one of the researchers down with one shot through the chest. Garrus ducked into the room and squatted behind a desk. Shepard shot another researcher in the shoulder. A door opened in the room and several more men and women in lab coats rushed in. Grundan Krul was in next, taking cover opposite of Garrus. Shepard laid covering fire while Grunt charged in and slammed the nearest researcher against a wall, cracking his skull. Kasumi disappeared before reappearing behind one of the men and stabbing him in the kidney. Grunt let the body slump unconscious, probably even dead, to the floor before turning his shotgun on the next man and blasting a hole through his abdomen.

“Dios. They’re not even wearing armor,” James muttered.

“Keep it together, Vega,” Shepard said firing into the room while James moved forward to crouch next to Grundan Krul.

 _“This is going to haunt him,”_ Jane said.

“Cover me,” Shepard said.

Garrus sent a spray of rounds from his assault rifle while Shepard ran in and took cover next to him. The researchers were dropping like flies. James was right, this felt wrong these were civilians even if they were firing on her team. Shepard shoved the thought away; it came with the territory sometimes even if she didn’t like it. Shepard popped out of cover and put a bullet through the head of a researcher before ducking again.

James grit his teeth and fired his assault rifle at the last two men standing. Shepard stood from cover and moved to secure the door that the others had entered from. Her team moved to her location after making sure that the researchers were down for good. Shepard opened the door and advanced down the hall, stopping as the first door on the right slid open at her approach. She pressed her back against the wall and motioned to her team before peering inside.

Two women in lab coats worked furiously at consoles. Their backs were turned to Shepard as she stepped into the room and leveled her gun at the women.

“Step away from the consoles and get on the ground,” Shepard said.

One of the women spun around to face Shepard. Her face was crossed with thin vein-like markings the same eerie blue as the husks. The blue light formed a web down her throat and disappeared beneath her shirt collar. The woman threw her head back and opened her mouth, squaring her shoulders. Shepard didn’t know what the hell the woman was going to do but she didn’t hesitate, pulling her trigger. The bullet hit the woman in the chest but she didn’t go down. The second woman turned and flung a biotic Warp at Shepard. Shepard saw it coming and just barely dodged out of the way, knocking over a chair in the process.

Shepard regained her footing and leveled her pistol at the half-husk woman and fired off three more rounds. The woman took two stumbling steps forward before collapsing on the floor in convulsions. A gray fluid seeped out of her wounds, swirling and mixing with the bright red of her blood. Shepard felt herself thrown back by a Shockwave a heartbeat before the second woman was taken out by Kasumi’s Shadow Strike. Her shoulder slammed into the wall and she groaned as pain lanced through her arm.

“Shit, Commander, you alright?” James asked.

Garrus chuffed followed by a chuckle.

“Yeah, James – Vega, sorry. I’m alright,” Shepard said with her own laugh.

She pulled herself to her feet and rotated her shoulder to make sure it wasn’t dislocated.

James shrugged and said, “You can call me James. I don’t mind. Uh, what’s so funny?”

Shepard shook her head but Garrus walked over and patted the marine on his shoulder.

“You think a little toss like that would take Shepard down? Hell, that wasn’t even enough to piss her off,” Garrus said.

“Yeah, right. I guess I forgot who she was for a minute. I mean she’s just so tiny,” James said.

Shepard snorted and glanced around the room. She caught a small smile on Grundan Krul’s mouth and her eyebrow twitched in surprise. Kasumi was waving her omni-tool over a console.

“Hehehehe,” Grunt chuckled.

“Alright, alright. C’mon. You can make fun of me later,” Shepard said.

James held up a hand and said, “Hey now, I wasn’t making fun, Commander. I’m just saying that, you know, someone your size… that had to really hurt.”

Garrus chuffed and said, “You’re not helping your case.”

“Hehehehe,” Grunt chuckled again.

Shepard shook her head and moved back to the door, glancing out into the hall before leaving the room. The next door on the left was locked. She attempted to bypass it herself but it was beyond her capabilities. She motioned to Grundan Krul and he set to work. She had to admit that the batarian was a magician when it came to tech. Ten seconds later and the door slid open. It was the room Shepard saw first, where the men were working on a husk. The husk lay strapped to the slab, its chest cut open and its ribs spread apart but the men were gone. The circular implant that was once on the husk’s chest now lay in a metal bowl off to the side. The husk turned its head towards the door and let out a groan, struggling against its bindings.

“Spirits, it’s still alive,” Garrus said.

Shepard crossed the room and put the barrel of her pistol against the husk’s head before pulling the trigger. The shot ripped through the husk’s skull, sending gray fluid splattering across the wall on the other side. She turned back around and walked back out of the room without a word.

“So, uh, what are those things?” James asked.

“We call them husks. We fought them a lot when we were after Saren. The geth heretics used reaper technology to turn humans into… that. They’re mindless and attack on sight,” Garrus said.

“Yeah, we fought some of them with the collectors… so they were human, once?” James asked.

“Yeah,” Shepard said.

“So, if the husks were made by reaper tech… and the collectors are using husks, does that mean that the collectors are working with the reapers?” James asked.

“Bingo,” Shepard said.

“We’ve got to tell the Alliance, the Council. I mean, they’ll have to get involved then, won’t they?” James asked.

Garrus chuffed. Shepard glanced back over her shoulder at James and shook her head at the marine’s naiveté.

“I already have, Vega. They aren’t paying me much more attention than they did when I warned them about Sovereign,” Shepard said.

“Damn,” James said seemingly at a loss for words.

“Yeah,” Shepard said again before pressing her back against the wall next to a door.

The room held a pile of collector and husk corpses. Each one had been cut open and parts removed. Reaper tech removed. Shepard glanced around the room to make sure no one else was in there before moving on to the next door. The door slid open as they neared it and whoever was inside wasted no time firing out into the hall. Shepard and her team pressed themselves against the walls and returned fire. When the room was clear, Shepard moved in and looked around. There were more slabs set up with dissected collector corpses. The humans – if they could be called that anymore – lay dead on the floor.

Shepard used the toe of her boot to flip a man over onto his back. He had somehow stripped a collector of its chitinous plating and fused it to his own skin. Another man had the same fading blue glow that the half-husk woman did but he also had implanted himself with the chest piece that the husks had.

“Well that’s creepy,” Kasumi said.

“They did this to themselves? Dios, why?” James asked.

“They have a reaper artifact in the back. It makes people do crazy things. Worse part is, most of the time, they don’t even realize they’ve been indoctrinated. They think these things are their choice, that they’re still in control but they’ve convinced themselves that what they’re doing is for the best,” Shepard said.

“What about us? Is this going to happen to us?” James asked, the first sign of fear creeping into his voice.

“No, it takes time. These people didn’t know what they found. They probably unearthed it somewhere near the prothean ruins and brought it back here to study. They would have been here with it for days, maybe even weeks before they were really gone,” Shepard said. “Come on, let’s keep moving.”

Shepard led them to the next door, and the next, and the next. Most of them were empty save for evidence of horrendous experiments, but a few had researchers still inside scrambling to save their work or determined to defend it from Shepard and her crew. They neared the back of the building where Shepard and Grundan Krul saw the reaper artifact. Unsurprisingly, resistance increased as they got closer. Shepard and her crew were forced to take cover from an unexpected enemy.

Cerberus commandos filed out of the rooms lining the back wall of the building. Shepard ordered her crew to cover as the commandos spread out to form a living wall between Shepard and the room with the reaper artifact. One of the commandos stepped forward and took off his helmet, holding it under his arm he spoke towards the partition James was pressed against.

“Vega, you shouldn’t be here,” the man said.

Shepard’s eyes darted to James. He peered around the partition and looked at the man before ducking back behind the wall. Shepard could see the fire in James’ eyes from her location opposite of him.

“Messner? You’re with Cerberus?” James asked.

“Mmm. It’s too bad that you’re here, Vega. I actually liked you. Your friends here are working for Cerberus too, you know. Or did you not see the shuttles they came in?” Messner said.

James’ eyes shot to Shepard and she thought she saw the same look of betrayal and disgust flash across his eyes that she remembered seeing so many times in Ashley and Kaidan’s eyes. Shepard clenched her jaw and shook her head. She felt something inside of her break. Something inside of Jane break.

“It’s not what you think, Vega,” Shepard said.

“Dios, it’s true? You’re with Cerberus? I mean, yeah, I saw the shuttles but when a bunch of aliens walked out I thought… I don’t know, I guess I thought you recovered them on a mission or something,” James said turning his gun towards Shepard.

“Don’t be stupid, Vega,” Garrus said pointing his assault rifle at James.

“Vega, listen to me. Yes, I’m working with Cerberus temporarily to take down the collectors. The Council, the Alliance, they weren’t able to take real action because the attacks are happening outside of Council space,” Shepard said.

“That’s right, Vega, we just want to take down the collectors. That’s why we’re here. We’re looking for an antidote to the seeker venom. When we find it, it’ll be passed along to Shepard,” Messner said.

“Messner was it?” Shepard asked. “I strongly urge you to shut the fuck up. Do not think for even a second that I won’t put a bullet through your head.”

“Come on, Shepard! We’re on the same side here,” Messner said.

“No Messner, we’re not. We’re really, really not,” Shepard said. “Vega look at me. I’m still me, Vega. I’m still Commander Shepard. I’m still a Council Spectre. The Council knows of my temporary affiliation with Cerberus, the Alliance knows, too. Alright? This is just the way things need to be for now but I am _not_ one of them.”

James licked his lips and slowly nodded his head, turning his attention back to Messner. Garrus lowered his rifle.

“Messner, if you’re here looking for an antidote, why are you protecting a reaper artifact?” Shepard asked.

“Shepard, you got it all wrong. This is an excellent find, we’re studying this. Learning what we can about the reapers. This will help us win the war, Shepard,” Messner said.

“Messner, that’s an active reaper artifact in there. It’s indoctrinating you. Look around you, Messner. Look at the things that these people have done to themselves. That’s not going to help us win the war,” Shepard said.

“No, you don’t understand. We’re learning so much. There is so much knowledge here to be gained, so much that humanity can learn and use,” Messner said.

“Screw this, you’re insane just like all the rest of these culos,” James said before ducking out of cover and firing on Messner.

Shepard turned against the wall and opened fire. Soon, the hall was filled with the deafening sounds of fire and screams of pain. Shepard hit Messner with a Reave, draining the last of the life from the Cerberus operative. Grunt rushed past Shepard and slammed into one of the commandos before ramming the butt of his rifle into the man’s helmeted face. Shepard sent a Shockwave down one side of the hall, knocking back three operatives before firing at them. Grundan Krul threw out a proximity mine that triggered as soon as the first commando got back to his feet. The commando was thrown back again.

Shepard pulled another into the air and Garrus shot him back down again. Grunt slammed into another commando and bashed his head repeatedly against the wall before swinging around with his shotgun to blast a lovely dent into the armored chest of another. Kasumi moved invisibly through the hall Overloading the commando’s shields and using her Shadow Strike to stab them when their backs were turned. James finished off the final commando with his assault rifle before turning to look at Shepard, chest heaving.

“I’m sure you have questions, Vega. Let’s get this place secure and I’ll tell you everything I can,” Shepard said.

James licked his lips and nodded. Shepard nodded in return before moving to check on the final rooms. She saved the larger door in the middle of the hall for last, knowing that would be where she would find the artifact. Shepard moved down the hall to the left of the big door. The door at the end of the hall held a living collector. It was suspended in a golden liquid inside of a tank, not dissimilar to the one Grunt had been inside when she first found him.

 _“We can use this,”_ Jane said.

“Are they growing them in tanks?” Grunt asked stepping into the room to stand behind Shepard.

Together they stared at the collector. It didn’t seem to be conscious but it was still alive if the beeping of the machines next to the tank were any indication. Shepard pointed to the wound in the collector’s side.

“He’s been shot,” Kasumi said.

“I think they found him on the battlefield. Whatever this is, I think it’s keeping him alive. Gods only know why,” Shepard said.

“It’s weak, you should kill it,” Grunt said.

“Maybe…,” Shepard said.

“And maybe Mordin can use it,” Garrus finished her thought.

Shepard turned to see Garrus leaning against the door frame watching her.

“Is that wrong?” Shepard asked.

Garrus shrugged a shoulder and said, “It’s war, Shepard. Do what needs to be done.”

“Leave it for now. It isn’t going anywhere,” Shepard said.

 _“Dawn, you know this could be invaluable. It could give us the edge we’re looking for,”_ Jane said.

“Yeah. I know. It just… I don’t know. They’re like the husks. They were people once, protheans. I mean it’s one thing to gather data and run experiments on the dead, but this… it’s still alive,” Shepard thought.

 _“No it’s not. That’s not life. Not anymore,”_ Jane said.

Shepard left the room and moved to the next door. She hit the release and the door slid open to reveal containment cells lining the walls. Each cell held a human prisoner. Terrified eyes turned to the door as Shepard walked in. James rushed into the room and the people began to stand, banging on the glass doors of their cells; screaming James’ name. James moved to one of the cells and started to open the door.

“Vega, wait,” Shepard said.

“Wait? These people are from the colony, they need our help!” James said.

“I know Vega, listen. How long have they been here? That artifact is in the next room. When did you last see these people?” Shepard asked.

Realization struck James like a ton of bricks and slowly he backed away from the cell shaking his head. The woman in the cell he had been about to open began sobbing and banged harder on the glass.

“I… I don’t know,” James said his eyes scanning over the faces behind the glass. “Before the collectors hit. That was what, two, three days ago? I’m not even sure anymore.”

“OK, Vega, listen to me. You need to call Captain Toni and tell him what we’ve found. Warn him that these colonists might be compromised. There isn’t any way to tell for sure, other than to put them under observation but the longer we leave them here the higher the chance of that happening,” Shepard said.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll call him now,” James said walking out of the room.

“Help us! Oh God, please help us!” the woman yelled.

Shepard approached the glass and looked the woman over. It didn’t look as if she had been harmed in any way other than a few bruises. She wasn’t implanted with anything and didn’t have any fresh scars indicating that they had done anything to her.

“Ma’am, my name is Commander Shepard. I know you’re scared and you want to get out of there. Vega is calling this in to his CO, and we’re going to try to help you,” Shepard said turning around to meet the eyes of every prisoner. “All of you. But for now, for your safety and ours, we have to leave you in there.”

“No! No, you can’t leave us in here, please!” the woman screamed.

“What’s your name?” Shepard asked.

“Samantha,” she said.

“Samantha, there is a device in the next room that might have affected you. You may not even realize that it has affected you. But if it has, then letting you out before help arrives could be very dangerous. Do you understand?” Shepard asked.

“Are we sick? Did they make us sick?” Samantha asked frantically.

“I don’t know, Samantha. Maybe, it is possible,” Shepard said.

“Oh God,” Samantha said before sliding down the back of her cell to hid her face in her knees.

 _“That didn’t help,”_ Jane said.

“What was I supposed to say?” Shepard thought.

 _“I… I don’t know,”_ Jane said.

Shepard glanced around at the other cells again. They all seemed to have come to the same conclusion as Samantha and looked twice as terrified as they did before. She cursed herself silently before asking Garrus to take the others to check the other rooms.

“Leave the middle room alone for now,” Shepard said.

Garrus nodded and left, taking Grundan Krul and Grunt along with him. Shepard let herself sink down into a chair and watched the prisoners until James came back.

“Captain Toni is on his way with the rest of the Delta Squad. They’re coming in shuttles to secure the colonists and take them back to the camp for observation,” James said.

Shepard nodded and leaned her head back against the wall.

“Shepard, we’ve got more colonists in cells down here,” Garrus said over the comm.

“Alright, I’m coming,” Shepard said standing to her feet.

“There are more of them down there. I’m going to go try to calm them down, why don’t you stay in here so these people know we’re not abandoning them?” Shepard said.

“Yeah,” James said, sounding defeated.

Shepard left the room and made her way down the hall to Garrus. Like the last room, this one was lined with glass cells as well, and each cell held a colonist. Shepard did a quick count, there were fourteen people between the two rooms and three of those in the second room were children. Kasumi crouched in front of one of the tanks holding a small girl; she looked to be about the same age as April. Kasumi had her hand pressed to the glass and was talking quietly to the girl through the glass. The little girl stayed curled up in a ball, completely unresponsive to Kasumi. Shepard fought back the urge to go shoot Messner’s corpse in the face.

“My name is Commander Shepard. You are safe now. Captain Toni is on his way to move you all to a safe location for observation. We need to be sure that you aren’t a danger to anyone before you are released. I know that this has been difficult for all of you, but please try to stay calm,” Shepard said.

“Observation? Why the hell do we need to be placed under observation? Let me the hell out of here!” a man yelled.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do that. Please, just try to stay calm,” Shepard said.

“Screw that! Let me out of here, now! That’s my son over there. My boy needs me, let me out! ” the man bellowed.

On cue, the little boy started to wail for his father. Shepard clenched her teeth and walked out into the hall. She paced the floor in front of the dead Cerberus commandos feeling the rage roil up inside of her. She stopped in front of Messner’s body and pulled out her pistol. Shepard started firing into the man’s corpse. Garrus came running out of the room at the sound of gunfire. His assault rifle was up and his eyes searched the hall for enemy targets. Grunt and Grundan Krul were at his heels. James rushed out from the other room, his movements mimicking Garrus’. Her crew stopped when they realized that there was no threat and Shepard was firing into a dead man.

When Shepard’s clip emptied, she pulled the trigger three more times before kicking the dead man instead. Garrus slowly made his way to Shepard and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in against him. She put her head against his armored chest, her own chest heaving and hot tears of rage stinging the back of her eyes.

“Give us a minute,” Garrus said.

Garrus held Shepard in silence until her breathing leveled out and she pulled away.

“I’m alright,” she said.

“You sure? There are a few more dead people here we can shoot if you want,” Garrus said.

Shepard snorted and said, “Nah, waste of good ammo. I’m good.”

Twenty minutes later and James reported that Captain Toni had arrived. He was headed back to the front of the facility to lead his team to the colonists. Shepard told Grunt to go with him just in case they missed anyone on the way in. A few minutes later James and Grunt returned leading Captain Toni and his men down the hall. Grunt moved to stand beside Shepard while James fell in line with the rest of the Delta Squad. Captain Toni came to a stop in front of Shepard and she saluted him out of habit.

“Commander, I’m hoping that you can explain to me the horrors I just saw on the way in here and why exactly it is that you haven’t released these prisoners?” Captain Toni said.

“Yes, sir. It will be easiest to show you,” Shepard said.

Captain Toni nodded and Shepard moved to the door. Grundan Krul hacked through the lock and Shepard hit the door release. The doors slid open to reveal a large, claw-like structure that formed a cage around a floating light. Captain Toni took a few steps forward and Shepard held out a hand to stop him from entering the room.

“You don’t want to get too close, sir. This is a reaper artifact. It’s not the first of its kind we’ve seen. With prolonged proximity, the artifact is capable of indoctrinating those around it. I believe that the research team here found the artifact, and not understanding what it was, brought it back here for study. Unfortunately, this exposed them to indoctrination,” Shepard said before closing the door again. “The things that you saw on your way in are evidence of the indoctrination process, sir. The men and women of this facility were made insane by the artifact and began experimenting on themselves, using reaper tech harvested from collectors and husks.”

Captain Toni watched Shepard in silence before dropping his gaze to the dead bodies at her feet.

“And Cerberus?” Captain Toni asked.

“I was unaware that there was a Cerberus presence here, sir. They claimed to be searching for an antidote to the collector’s seeker swarms. I believe that they were indoctrinated as well, however,” Shepard said.

“And you killed them?” Captain Toni asked.

“We did, sir,” Shepard said.

“Captain Toni, sir?” James said.

Captain Toni turned to look at James.

“That one there, you can’t tell it’s him anymore, sir, but it was Messner,” James said.

“Messner? The merchant?” Captain Toni asked.

“Yes, sir,” James said.

Captain Toni turned his gaze back to Shepard and said, “So you think that the colonists being held here might be indoctrinated?”

“It is possible, sir. They could be and not even know it themselves. I recommend taking them in for observation for at least a few days before allowing them to be released back into the general population,” Shepard said.

“Where are they?” Captain Toni asked.

Shepard turned and pointed to the two rooms and said, “I recommend taking them out only one or two at a time and securing them for transport. There are… there are children in this room.”

Shepard stepped out of the way and let Captain Toni’s men do what they had come to do. She walked back to the room with the collector and called EDI.

“EDI, please access whatever files you can from the servers at my location and patch me through to Mordin,” Shepard said.

Garrus leaned against the door frame and watched Shepard as she paced.

“Shepard. Very busy with data. How can I help?” Mordin asked.

“Mordin we found a research facility down here full of indoctrinated people. They found a reaper artifact and were foolish enough to bring it back to their labs. They’ve been doing experiments on collectors and husks taken from the battle field. We found a collector in a tank. I think it’s still alive,” Shepard said.

“Excellent find, Shepard. Bring it to the Normandy. Will run tests,” Mordin said.

“I thought you’d say that. EDI transfer any relevant data to Mordin. I’ll get Miranda over here, she’ll probably know what to do to keep the collector alive while we move it. Shepard out,” she said.

 _“It’s the right call, Dawn,”_ Jane said.

“Yeah,” Shepard thought although she still wasn’t completely convinced.

Captain Toni walked over to the door and peered past Garrus. Garrus didn’t step out of the captain’s way so he stayed outside of the room.

“They were keeping it alive?” Captain Toni asked.

“Seems so,” Garrus said.

“I don’t think I’ve seen anything quite so crazy as this place,” Captain Toni said.

“Regretfully, I can’t say the same,” Garrus said.

“Are you guys taking it with you?” Captain Toni asked nodding towards the collector.

Garrus looked to Shepard and she nodded.

“Mordin might be able to gather some useful information from studying it, something to give us an edge,” Shepard said. “How uh, how’s the rescue efforts going, sir?”

“Your geth is something special, that’s for sure. I’ve never seen a rescue go so smoothly and so quickly before. They had the third person out when Vega’s call came in about this place. What that Legion is doing, I’ve seen a rescue like that take days,” Captain Toni said.

“Good, I’m glad to hear it’s going so well,” Shepard said. “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I need to get Miranda down here to help transport this thing.”

“Of course, we’re about done with the colonists. Commander, I hate to admit it but I am at a loss as to what to do with that artifact. Clearly it wouldn’t be wise to just leave it here,” Captain Toni said.

“I’d suggest a strategic explosion, sir,” Shepard said.

“Shep, your answer for everything is an explosion,” Kasumi said appearing beside Shepard.

“Gets the job done,” Shepard said.

Captain Toni’s lip twitched in what might have been the start of a smile before he nodded his head and walked back towards the rooms with the cells.

“Miranda, Shepard here, do you copy?” Shepard spoke into her mic.

“Yes, Shepard, I’m here,” Miranda’s voice responded.

“I need you to take one of the shuttles and come to my location. Ask EDI to program the coordinates for you,” Shepard said.

“Right away, Commander,” Miranda said.

Shepard stepped back out into the hall and watched as the last of the colonists were being led from the first room. James walked out behind a man holding him firmly by the arm. The man struggled against James and the restraints they had placed on his wrists. James seemed unfazed by the man’s attempts to free himself, however, and expertly guided the man down the hall whether he liked it or not.

Shepard and Garrus followed them out of the facility and watched as they were loaded into the last Alliance shuttle and the doors closed behind them. James stood talking with his CO for a moment by the last shuttle. Captain Toni nodded his head and climbed inside leaving James behind. James watched as the shuttle took off and made his way back to Shepard.

“Not going with them?” Shepard asked, painfully aware of how exhausted her voice sounded.

“Building’s secure, thought maybe I could ask you some of those questions,” James said.

Garrus squeezed Shepard’s hand before going back inside. Shepard nodded her head and sat down in the dirt against the wall. She stared up at the night sky while James shifted around nervously, towering over her.

“Sit down, James. I don’t bite,” Shepard said.

“That’s a shame,” James said sliding down the wall next to Shepard. “I mean, uh…”

“That’s alright James, you’re not the first shameless flirt I’ve met,” Shepard said.

“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m _shameless_ ,” James said leaning his assault rifle against the wall next to him.

Shepard chuckled and asked, “So, what do you want to know first?”

“How’d you end up working with Cerberus? No, wait, how’d you end up back from the dead?” James asked.

“They have the same answer, ultimately. After the Normandy was attacked – by a collector ship, by the way,” Shepard said turning her head to look at James.

“No shit?” he asked.

She nodded and continued, “My body was recovered by agents of the Shadow Broker from Alchera. One of my crew got me back from them and handed me over to Cerberus.”

“Why would they do that? And why would the Shadow Broker want a dead body?” James asked.

“The Shadow Broker was going to trade me to the collectors. They gave me to Cerberus because Cerberus promised that they could bring me back to life,” Shepard said. “So, I was on a metal slab in a Cerberus facility for two years while they pieced me back together and used cybernetic implants to get me up and running again.”

Shepard felt Jane retreat into the recesses of her mind. She could feel the agitation teetering on the brink of insanity rolling off of Jane anytime the subject came up. Shepard did her best to avoid details when she had to talk about it because if she didn’t, she knew Jane would start her mad ranting about cutting and scraping all over again.

“You’re serious?” James asked.

“Yep,” Shepard said popping the ‘p’.

“Why’d they do it, though?” James asked.

Shepard smirked and said, “Because I was all of humanities ‘bloody idol’ and because they believed me about the reaper threat. Then human colonies started disappearing. They brought my ass back from the dead to save the galaxy.”

“Damn,” James whispered.

“Yeah, no pressure or anything,” Shepard scoffed.

“So, you stayed with them because they brought you back?” James asked.

“Fuck no. Like I said, I went to the Council and talked to them about the collector attacks. Told them I thought it was connected to the reapers but they just insisted that there was not enough evidence to make such an assertion and that there was nothing they could do about it because all of the abductions where outside of Council space,” said Shepard. “Nothing the Alliance could really do either without starting a war. So, they reinstated my Spectre status to give me what support they could and basically told me good luck.”

Shepard could feel James’ eyes on her as she watched the stars.

“I’ve been giving Councilor Anderson everything I can find on Cerberus, the collectors, and the reapers. When this is through, I’m going to find the man in charge of Cerberus and I’m going to put a bullet between his eyes,” Shepard said.

“Maybe two bullets. One for me, Commander,” James said.

 _“Empty the whole damn clip in him,”_ Jane said pulling herself back together again.

“I can do that,” Shepard said turning to look at the marine. “You can call me Shepard, James. I’m not giving you orders right now.”

James chuckled, “Alright, Shepard. This is seriously FUBAR.”

“It’s only going to get worse,” Shepard said.

“Doesn’t it always?” James asked.

“Yeah, seems so,” Shepard said.

“Hey, so that Legion, I noticed he’s got a piece of N7 armor patched into him. What’s that about?” James asked after a minute spent in silence.

Shepard smiled and said, “He went looking for me after the Citadel. Followed my trail as I cleaned up heretic hold outs. Trail ended on Alchera. He found a piece of my old armor and used it to patch part of a much larger hole. I had Jacob help fix him up the rest of the way when we brought him on board. I told him he could keep the N7 bit. I think it’s important to him. Well, as important as something like that could be to him.”

“Sounds like you’re the geth’s idol, too. Hey, there’s a shuttle coming,” James said.

“It’s Miranda. I called her. We’re taking that collector in the tank back to the ship so Mordin can do his mad scientist thing and help us to figure out ways to fight these sons-of-bitches,” Shepard said.

“Need help getting it loaded up?” James asked.

“Yeah, probably. If you’re not too tired,” Shepard said.

James stood up and extended his hand to Shepard. She slid her palm into his and laughed when he made a show of using far more force than necessary to lift her off the ground.

“Come on, Shepard. I mean, look at me. I don’t tire that easy,” James said wagging his eyebrows.

“Shameless,” Shepard said.

“Nah,” James said as the shuttle landed. “I just know I’m good.”

Miranda stepped out of the shuttle and walked towards Shepard and James. James let out a soft whistle as he watched Miranda’s hips sway. Her mostly white, skin tight uniform really stood out against the dark night.

“She’s Cerberus?” James said.

“Yep,” Shepard said popping the ‘p’. “For now.”

“Damn,” James said. “What do you mean for now?”

“I’m working on her, Jacob too. They’re starting to see what Cerberus really is,” Shepard said.

“You think you can get them to leave Cerberus?” James asked.

“In time,” Shepard said.

“Hey, introduce me to her,” James said.

“Commander, is everything alright?” Miranda asked once she got close enough to be heard.

“Miranda, thanks for coming so fast. I need your expertise. We’ve found a collector being kept alive in some sort of tank. Similar to what Grunt was in, I need you to help me figure out how to move it back to the Normandy without it dying,” Shepard said.

“Wait, Grunt was in a tank?” James asked.

“Yeah, he was… grown, basically, by a krogan warlord attempting to make the perfect krogan,” Shepard said.

“Huh,” James said.

“A living collector? Intriguing. Has Mordin been informed?” Miranda asked.

“Yeah, he wants it brought back,” Shepard said.

“I see, well where is it?” Miranda asked.

“I’ll take you in, but first, let me give you the details. The researchers at this facility found a reaper artifact and brought it back to the labs,” Shepard began.

“Indoctrinated, then, I suppose?” Miranda asked.

“Exactly. They’ve been doing experiments on themselves, taking reaper tech from the husks and collectors and using it on themselves. There was a Cerberus presence here. A man called Messner said they were sent here to find an antidote to the seeker venom,” Shepard said.

“Was?” Miranda asked.

“Was. They were indoctrinated too; I had no choice but to put them down. We found rooms with colonists being held prisoner. Some children, even. Captain Toni and his men have taken them back to the camp to be held for observation until it can be determined whether they were exposed long enough to be indoctrinated. I had EDI search the facilities files and forward anything relevant to Mordin,” said Shepard.

“Children? Very well then, where is the collector?” Miranda asked again.

Shepard nodded her head towards the building and started leading Miranda to the collector. James cleared his throat and glanced at Shepard.

“Right, sorry. James Vega meet Miranda Lawson. Miranda, James,” Shepard said over her shoulder.

Miranda stopped long enough to turn to James and shake his hand politely before continuing forward.

“So… uh, you work for Cerberus, huh?” James said.

“I do,” Miranda said coolly.

Shepard knew that this was going to end with Miranda walking all over the marine’s hopes but she just couldn’t help herself from playing devil’s advocate.

“You know, James. Miranda is the one that brought me back,” Shepard said.

“Really? That’s amazing. I’d love to hear –,” James started.

“No,” Miranda said.

“No?” James asked.

Shepard snickered and tried to cover it with a cough.

 _“That was mean,”_ Jane said.

“Then why are you laughing?” Shepard thought.

“No, you would not like to hear about how I did it, you probably wouldn’t understand the first thing about it and no, I am not interested in spending time with you, hooking up with you, getting to know you, or having a drink with you. Does that cover it?” Miranda asked.

“Ouch!” James said with a laugh. “Your loss.”

“I highly doubt that,” Miranda said.

James hissed and said, “Oh, you wound me. Can’t even leave a man his pride.”

Shepard glanced back over her shoulder and saw that James had stopped in the hall and covered his heart with both hands. Miranda had a coy smile on her face as she continued to walk.

“I think you’ll live, James. Come on,” Shepard said.

James jogged to catch back up with Shepard and Miranda as they turned the corner and headed to the room with the collector. Garrus and the others were gathered talking idly amongst themselves when Shepard walked in. Miranda walked straight over to the tank and began examining the equipment keeping the collector alive.

“You set me up, Shepard,” James said.

“Maybe,” Shepard said with a smile.

“I miss something?” Garrus asked.

“Just James getting his balls taken away from him by Miranda,” Shepard said.

“Nah, I still got my cojones. They’re too big for her to handle,” James said.

“Heh. I bet mine are bigger, pyjack,” Grunt said.

“Aaannnnddd I’m going to go talk to Miranda now,” Shepard said stepping away from a conversation she really didn’t want to hear anymore of.

“What have we got, Miranda?” Shepard asked.

“We’re in luck, Commander. The tank is designed in such a way that it can be laid horizontally without problem. We’ll be able to move it in the shuttle,” Miranda said. “We’ll need to disconnect these three devices – I’ll spare you the explanation of their function – but when we do we’ll have a half hour at most before they must be reconnected. We’ll have to move the tank fast, and once it is secure in the shuttle I’ll have to use the shuttle to power the devices until we have it back on the Normandy.”

“Alright, let’s get this thing loaded up. Will you be good to take it to the Normandy alone or do you need someone to ride with you?” Shepard asked.

“It would be best to have someone with me to help keep the tank stabilized as we ascend,” Miranda said.

“I can go with her,” Grundan Krul said.

“OK, I’ll radio the Normandy once you’re off to have them meet you in the hangar to get it unloaded. Go ahead and get some rest while you’re there. You can bring the shuttle back down in the morning,” Shepard said.

Miranda set to work unhooking the life support machines and draping cords and tubes around the tank. The four men moved the tank out to the shuttle while Miranda. Kasumi, and Shepard carried the machinery. Grundan Krul and Miranda got everything hooked back up and plugged into the shuttle’s systems before taking off. Shepard radioed the Normandy as she said she would before radioing Jacob to come pick them up in the second shuttle.

When they made it back to the camp they found that the rescue team had returned with all four survivors recovered from the collapsed building. Shepard had expected to see Dr. Chakwas at the bedside of the survivors but was told that she was instead with the colonists who had been retrieved from the research facility. Lia was tending to the survivors instead along with Micha.

 Shepard smiled when she found Legion and Jack surrounded by a group of colonists who were thanking them for helping to save their loved ones. Legion somehow managed to look even more uncomfortable than Jack. Shepard made her way over to the two heroes and stood next to Jack who immediately gave Shepard a venomous look. Shepard chuckled and interrupted a woman who was reaching for Jack’s hand, tears in her eyes and a joyous smile on her face.

“OK everyone, I know that you are all very grateful to Jack and Legion and want to express that gratitude but I am sure that they could both use some rest after all of their hard work,” Shepard said to the small crowd.

The crowd responded with low grumbles but slowly broke apart and went their separate ways.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Jack asked.

“Clearing out a research facility full of indoctrinated psychotic assholes. There’s a reaper artifact there, I’ve got to go talk to Captain Toni about how to go about dealing with it,” Shepard said.

“Fuck Shepard, you weren’t supposed to have a good excuse. Whatever,” Jack said walking away.

Shepard turned her attention to Legion and said, “You did good work out there, Legion. You helped save lives. That means a lot to these people, especially coming from someone they were taught to view as an enemy.”

“Yes, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

Shepard noticed that Legion was holding a small flower in one of his hands. Her lips twitched with amusement.

“What have you got there, Legion?” Shepard asked.

Legion held up the small yellow flower for Shepard to see.

“Asteraceae,” Legion said.

“A daisy. That’s the common name. Why do you have a daisy?” Shepard asked.

“The human child April gave it to us,” Legion said.

“I see. I think that means that she likes you, Legion,” Shepard said.

“It will die now,” Legion said.

“Mmm, yes. Though I doubt that thought crossed April’s mind. She probably just thought it was pretty and that you would like it so she picked it and gave it to you,” Shepard said.

“Plants are aesthetically pleasing to humans,” Legion said.

Shepard chuckled and turned to walkway. She glanced over her shoulder when she realized that Legion was following her. She made her way to the building Captain Toni was using as his office and knocked on the door. She waited until she heard him grant her permission to enter before going inside.

Kirrahe was standing next to Captain Toni’s desk and nodded at Shepard when she stopped to salute the captain. Shepard sat down when he indicated the chair across from him. Captain Toni glanced up at Legion before looking back to Kirrahe and standing to shake the salarian’s hand.

“Thank you again, Major. I will be sure that the Alliance doesn’t forget what you and your team have done here,” Captain Toni said.

“Ah yes, probably best to not publicize our presence here. STG is meant to be a secretive organization. The sentiment, however, is appreciated,” Kirrahe said.

“I understand. Have you arranged transportation already? I am sure I can set something up for you if you need me to,” Captain Toni said.

“I believe Shepard has plans to take us with her when she leaves,” Kirrahe said.

Captain Toni glanced at Shepard and she nodded.

“Very well, then. If there is anything else I can do for you while you’re here, please don’t hesitate to ask,” Captain Toni said.

Kirrahe bowed slightly and turned to leave but Shepard stopped him.

“Kirrahe, you might want to stay for this,” she said.

Kirrahe turned to look at Shepard and blinked his eyes slowly before nodding and moving back to stand next to her.

“There’s a reaper artifact in a research facility. We’ve cleared the place of the indoctrinated and brought back their captives for observation,” Shepard said. “It leaves us with a reaper artifact sitting in a building not far from where civilians have made their homes. You were on Virmire; you saw what indoctrination can do to people. Obviously we can’t use the same tactic we did with the breeding labs on Virmire, but I am interested in hearing any thoughts you might have on safely dealing with the artifact.”

Captain Toni frowned. For all of his gratitude, he didn’t seem too keen on the idea of sharing this level of intel with the salarians. Shepard didn’t care, she knew Kirrahe and she was a Spectre. This wasn’t simply a human concern and she would use every available resource she had in this war. The STG was a damn good resource.

“Shepard-Commander, we would like to assist,” Legion said.

Shepard glanced at the geth standing behind her still holding his daisy before looking to Kirrahe. Kirrahe nodded his head and ran a finger across his chin in thought.

“We will go at first light and look at the building’s surroundings. We may not be able to use as large of a bomb but explosives are still a possibility. Legion’s assistance would be invaluable,” Kirrahe said.

“In my experience, reaper tech isn’t so easily destroyed but it’s worth the try,” Shepard said.

“I’ll need to know before anything gets blown up. We’ll need to move people as far away from the facility as we can, and make sure the area is clear of all civilians first,” Captain Toni said.

“If any of your men are rested enough, it may not be a bad idea to set up a guard outside of the facility just to make sure that no one wanders in. They should be safe enough for such a short time, but it wouldn’t hurt to station them a ways from the facility,” Shepard said.

“I’ve already got men in place, Commander,” Captain Toni said.

Shepard nodded and said, “Of course.”

“Forgive me, Commander, but you look exhausted. There are a lot of empty houses out there now. It’s unfortunate, certainly, but there is no reason for them to remain empty if your crew wishes to rest here,” Captain Toni said.

“Thank you, Captain. I think we’ll take you up on that offer,” Shepard said. “If you’ll excuse me, it’s past time I ate something as well.”

“Certainly, Commander. We’ll speak again in the morning,” Captain Toni said.

Shepard stood and saluted the captain once more before leaving his office. Kirrahe and Legion left behind her. Kirrahe nodded to Shepard before disappearing into the night but Legion continued to follow Shepard like a lost puppy. She was content to let him do so for now, but she knew she would half to find something for him to do when she was ready to find a place to sleep. She was fond of Legion, but she was not keen on the idea of having the geth standing over her bed while she slept.

 _“You’d have your own personal geth guard,”_ Jane said.

James jogged up to Shepard out of the darkness.

“Hey, Ídolo. Most of your crew is in the mess hall. Thought you might be hungry, too,” James said.

“Ídolo?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah, you know, idol,” James said.

Shepard laughed, “Not Lola, huh?”

“Why would I call you Lola?” James asked.

 _“I liked Lola,”_ Jane said.

Shepard shook her head and said, “Never mind. Food sounds fantastic, James. Then maybe you can help us get settled into some of the empty places for the night.”

“You guys are going to just take over someone’s house?” James asked with a frown.

“Captain Toni suggested it. Thought it would be better than flying back and forth from the Normandy,” Shepard said watching James’ face as they walked. “That bothers you, doesn’t it?”

“If Captain Toni suggested it, who am I to argue?” James said.

“If you have an alternative, I’m open to suggestions,” Shepard said.

“Nah, he’s probably right. They’re empty and the people who lived there probably aren’t coming back home,” James said.

Shepard stopped and put a hand on James’ arm to bring him to a halt.

“James, I’ll make sure that their homes are treated with the upmost respect. You have my word,” Shepard said.

James nodded and said, “Yeah, thanks, Ídolo.”

James led Shepard into a mess hall and stood in line with her while she got herself a tray. Legion followed behind quietly, his head swiveling around as he took in all of the details of the room. Shepard spotted her crew easily, a handful of aliens stood out like sore thumb in a crowd of humans but there were even more obvious when the crowd was thin as it was this late at night. Shepard slid into a chair next to Garrus. He and Lia were sharing dextro rations brought down from the Normandy.

“Legion, sit with me,” Lia said.

“Yes, Creator-Vael,” Legion said pulling out the chair next to Lia and sitting down.

James slid into a chair across from Shepard, earning him a few glares from the members of the Delta Squad that sat at the next table. Shepard winced, hoping that she wasn’t causing a rift between James and his squad mates. She relaxed when a minute later Essex led the rest of them over to join James at Shepard’s table. With unspoken agreement, the conversation remained light. They had all been through hell the last few days and everyone wanted to pretend, if even for just a few minutes, that everything was going to be alright.

Soon, the mess hall had emptied out aside from those sitting with Shepard but one glance around her told her that they were all as exhausted as she felt. She told her crew that they would be spending the night on the ground and that James would help them find a place to crash. The rest of the Delta Squad went their separate ways leaving James to lead Shepard and her crew to the empty homes of people lost in the attack.

The prefabs were big enough to accommodate those of her crew still on the ground in three houses with Shepard sharing a room with Garrus and Dr. Chakwas insisting on staying with her patients. Shepard was relieved when Lia suggested that Legion stay with Dr. Chakwas to help her monitor life signs while the doctor rested. Shepard stopped Legion when she realized that he was still walking around with the daisy in his hand.

“Legion, here, let me see it. I’ll hang it upside down for you and it can start to dry out. That will preserve it and then we can take it back to the Normandy with us if you want to keep it,” Shepard said.

“Yes, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said handing the flower to Shepard.

“Why was he carrying that around anyway?” Garrus asked stifling a yawn as Shepard shut the door behind them.

“That little girl, April gave it to him,” Shepard said.

“That matters to him?” Garrus asked.

“I don’t know. Probably not the same way it would matter to me, but I think it held some significance. Maybe just evidence of human acceptance of the geth or something,” Shepard said.

 _“Maybe he just wasn’t sure what else to do with it,”_ Jane said.

“Hmmm, didn’t think something like that would really matter to a geth,” Garrus said.

“I could be wrong. To most geth platforms it probably wouldn’t. Legion has significantly more programs running inside of him than most geth. With more programs comes a higher level of thought processing. In effect, Legion is closer to a true AI than a VI compared to other platforms. Things around him are taking on new meanings,” Shepard said.

“Like your N7 armor,” Garrus said.

“Exactly. Although I’m not sure he completely realizes it himself,” Shepard said hanging the daisy from a tack on a corkboard.

Shepard stripped out of her armor and climbed into the bed next to Garrus. Considering their surroundings, she didn’t expect him to remove his armor and didn’t ask. She couldn’t bear the idea of trying to sleep in hers, though. Shepard pressed her back against Garrus’ chest and within minutes was sound asleep.

Morning came far too fast. Shepard was nudged awake by Garrus nuzzling against her neck and planting gentle kisses along her brow. She smiled with her eyes still closed.

“There is a geth standing outside of our door asking if Commander-Shepard is ready to go,” Garrus said.

Shepard groaned and sat up on the edge of the bed.

“Give me five minutes Legion, I’ll meet you out front,” Shepard said towards the bedroom door.

“Yes, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

Shepard found the rest room before putting her armor back on and checking her thermal clips. She carefully removed the still drying daisy from the corkboard and carried it outside with her. Garrus was waiting for her outside with Legion and the STG. They made their way to one of the shuttles and piled inside. Shepard slid the stem of the daisy through a vent flap before starting the shuttle and taking them back to the facility. She waved at the guards as she climbed out of the shuttle and one of them jogged over to meet her.

“Seen anything?” Shepard asked.

“No ma’am, everything has been quiet. No activity of any kind,” the marine said.

“Good. What’s your name, Marine?” Shepard asked.

“Service Chief Kamille Johnson, ma’am,” she said.

“Alright, thank you Johnson. We’re going inside to see if we can figure out how to deal with this mess. You guys keep to your posts but call me if you see anything,” Shepard said.

“Aye, aye, Commander,” Kamille said with a salute before returning to her post.

Shepard led the others through the building towards the back rooms. Kirrahe’s shrewd eyes glanced into each open door they passed, undoubtedly taking in what information he could with each glance and saving it for his reports. When she reached the room with the artifact she opened the door and stepped aside letting the others enter before her. She stuck to the doorway, not wanting to get up close and personal with the artifact if she didn’t have to. Legion and the STG didn’t seem nearly as uncomfortable around the artifact as she was. Shepard didn’t even want to look at the thing; it emanated a sense of wrongness that she swore she felt in her bones. Garrus stood next to her leaning against the door as the others opened omni-tools and began scanning the artifact.

A few minutes later Rentola made his way to Shepard.

“The geth has located a structural weakness in the artifact and has calculated with a 98.3% certainty that the blast radius could be contained to this room and still be effective,” Rentola said. “We have the necessary explosives but Kirrahe is waiting for you to clear the matter with Captain Toni.”

“Well that makes my life easier, I’ll call the captain,” Shepard said.

Shepard stepped out into the hall and called up the captain. She paced up and down the hall as she explained the findings to the captain and told him that it was her recommendation that they proceed immediately. It took a few minutes to convince him that this really was the best course of action but finally he relented.

Shepard gave the go ahead to Rentola to set the explosives while she made sure the building was clear. Shepard and Garrus made their way through each of the rooms making sure that nothing of importance had been missed. EDI had already gathered all relevant data from the facilities servers and there was no one – nothing – left alive in the building. She made a round outside of the building to make sure the area was clear before retreating a hundred meters from the building. Shepard gave the warning to the Delta Squad and radioed Garrus to tell them they were clear. Two minutes later, Garrus, Legion, and the STG ran out of the building for Shepard’s location. A minute after that and Shepard felt the ground shake beneath her feet with the sound of the explosion.

Shepard waited a few minutes for the smoke to clear before going back inside. Where the room with the artifact once sat, now sat a crumbled mess of twisted metal and burning machinery. The blast had extended into the two adjoining rooms, wiping out the connecting walls and ripping through the cells that lined those walls. The artifact lay in three pieces, half buried beneath the collapsed ceiling. Legion made his way over the destruction and opened his omni-tool running it over the pieces of the artifact.

“The artifact is inert, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

“Excellent, good work, Legion,” Shepard said.

“Perhaps we should do something with the pieces,” Garrus said.

“Not a bad idea. We don’t know if they can… reactivate or be put back together or whatever,” Shepard said.

“Hmmm. What do we do with them?” Garrus asked.

“I guess we could take them out to space. Or maybe melt them down?” Shepard said.

“This is a mining colony, they have a foundry here,” Kirrahe said.

“OK, so foundry it is,” Shepard said making her way back out.

 _“Probably isn’t necessary. It’s just tech – advanced tech, but just tech. Not magic, Dawn,”_ Jane said.

“And it doesn’t hurt to be extra cautious,” Shepard thought.

Shepard gave the thumbs up to Kamille and her fellow marines before putting a call in to Captain Toni.

“Captain, we were successful. The artifact has been destroyed. We’d like to take the pieces to the foundry and melt them down. Can you make that happen, sir?” Shepard asked.

“You think that’s necessary, Commander?” Captain Toni asked.

“I don’t know, Captain. I think it’s better to be safe than sorry,” Shepard said.

“I was hoping to avoid having this become public, Commander,” Captain Toni said.

“With all due respect, sir, you have a building full of people who were pulled out of here. They may not know the details but they know that there was something here that might have made them sick somehow,” Shepard said.

“And that’s all they need to know, Commander Shepard,” Captain Toni said.

“I understand, Captain. No one at the foundry would need to know what this thing was, or even why we’re melting it down, sir,” Shepard said.

“Let’s make sure of that, Commander,” Captain Toni said.

“Yes sir,” Shepard said.

“Toni out,” he said disconnecting the call.

Shepard waved Kamille over. The woman jogged over to Shepard and saluted.

“Johnson, can you show us where the foundry is?” Shepard asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Kamille said.

“Alright, guys I’ll bring the shuttle around. Let’s get this thing loaded up and out of here,” Shepard said over her shoulder.

Shepard pulled the shuttle to the back of the building where the wall was blown away. She opened the shuttle doors and helped the others load the broken artifact pieces into the shuttle. It wasn’t easy getting them inside, they had to push and pull, remove one piece to fit in another and then wiggle and shove to get the first piece back inside again. It took nearly an hour to figure out how to make it work. Shepard climbed back into the shuttle, and Kamille having secured formal permission for her and the others to leave their post climbed into the passenger’s seat.

Kirrahe kept Rentola with him and sent the other STG back to the camp on foot before climbing into the Alliance shuttle with the other marines, Garrus, and Legion. Kamille directed Shepard across the open field and over the prefab buildings of the colony. Shepard lowered the shuttle down in front of a large building, its roof speckled with chimneys. No smoke rose from the building and Shepard didn’t see any activity outside. The Alliance shuttle landed behind her.

“I don’t think anyone is here, ma’am,” Kamille said.

 _“Then there’s no one to explain anything to,”_ Jane said.

“That might be for the best, Johnson,” Shepard said, climbing out of the shuttle.

Garrus walked over to stand next to Shepard and looked up at the building.

“Let’s see what we’ve got,” Shepard said activating the release on the unlocked door.

The foundry was empty, signs of a struggle made it clear why no one was here working the machines. The lights set on motion detectors flickered on when Shepard stepped inside. She supposed the machines had automatically shut themselves down after a certain time had passed. Garrus made his way towards the looming furnace and a console sprang to life as he approached.

“You know how any of this works?” Shepard asked.

“Not really, but give me five minutes and I’ll have it figured out,” Garrus said.

Shepard grinned and leaned up to kiss Garrus’ mandible.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“For being you,” Shepard said.

Shepard walked past Kamille who quickly hid a grin after catching Shepard’s display of affection. Shepard chuckled and opened the shuttle door. She stood back and let Legion figure out the puzzle of getting the pieces back out of the shuttle with the help of the other two marines. Kamille had called them Milque and Mason. Once the pieces were out and lying on the ground in front of the building, Shepard helped Legion carry a piece inside. Garrus was leaning against a wall with a smug look on his face. He pointed towards what looked to Shepard like a giant soup pot turned on its side.

They loaded the artifact pieces inside and Garrus turned back to the console. Shepard watched as the pot turned upright and began glowing with its intense heat. Once the metal was melted and poured into molds to cool Shepard put in another call to Captain Toni to tell him the job was done. She left it up to him to decide what to do with it from there. Kamille left with Mason and Milque in the Alliance shuttle while Shepard and her crew climbed back inside the Cerberus shuttle.

Back at the camp Captain Toni met Shepard as she landed the shuttle.

“Commander, I’ve spoken with Councilor Anderson. The Alliance is sending in a transport team to evacuate the colonists who wish to leave. I’ve decided it is in the best interest of everyone involved if the colonists you found in the research facility be taken with them for more adequate observation,” Captain Toni said.

“I see. Have any of them been behaving oddly so far?” Shepard asked.

“It’s hard to say, Commander but quite frankly, I’m not willing to take that chance,” Captain Toni said.

“It’s your call, Captain. Thank you for letting me know,” Shepard said. “I think it’s safe to say that the colony is otherwise secured now, sir. I’ll be gathering my crew and leaving shortly. If I might ask a favor, sir?”

“What can I do for you, Commander?” Captain Toni asked.

“It would save us significant time if you would lend us the use of a shuttle and someone to pilot it to help transport everyone back to the Normandy,” Shepard said.

“I’m sure Vega would be delighted,” he said. “Thank you again, Commander.”

Captain Toni extended his hand to Shepard gave it a firm shake.

“I’m glad I could help, sir,” Shepard said.

Captain Toni turned and walked back to his office. Shepard put in the call to her crew telling them to meet at the shuttles in a half hour. Feeling as if her stomach was trying to devour itself, she made her way to the camp’s mess hall to see if there was still breakfast available. She was in luck, the hall was filled mostly with civilians; those who weren’t used to getting up quite as early as the soldiers. Shepard took the chance to enjoy fresh, farm grown fruits while she could. The stasis chambers on the ship kept produce fresh but it just wasn’t the same.

When she was finished, she handed her empty dishes off to the man collecting abandoned trays from tables before heading back out to the shuttles. James had pulled an Alliance shuttle over next to the two Cerberus shuttles and was leaning with the sole of a boot resting against the blue and white painted car. He pushed himself forward when he saw Shepard coming.

“You’re leaving, Ídolo?” James asked.

“Yeah, James. I’ve got to get back out there and finish building my team. We’ve got some collector ass to kick,” Shepard said.

“Yeah, wish I could go with you and kick a little collector ass myself,” James said.

Shepard leaned against the shuttle next to him and looked out over the destruction of the colony, marveling in the resilience of the people who lived there as they went about their lives already rebuilding what they’d lost.

“I’d be proud to have you on the Normandy, James but not while it’s flying Cerberus colors,” Shepard said.

“Suppose the Alliance wouldn’t approve that transfer,” James said.

“Probably not,” Shepard said.

James turned to face Shepard and held out his hand. Shepard smiled and grabbed his palm in her own letting the man shake her hand.

“It was an honor to meet you, ma’am. I’m ready to load up and get you guys back to your ship whenever you’re ready,” he said.

“It was an honor to meet you as well, Operations Chief Vega. You did good work here, even if your methods were a bit… extreme,” Shepard said.

“Hey, I was just doing what needed to be done,” James said.

 _“Goodbye, James,”_ Jane said.

Shepard chuckled and let go of James’ hand turning back to the Cerberus shuttles and her gathering crew. She checked to make sure Legion’s daisy was still firmly in place in the shuttle’s vent before climbing inside and telling everyone to load up. She let them pick which car they rode in, it didn’t matter to her so long as everyone got back to the ship safely. When everyone was accounted for, Shepard lifted her shuttle off the ground and aimed it toward the sky.

“Alright, EDI, bring us in,” Shepard said.

“At once, Shepard,” said EDI.


	13. Chapter 12: I Thought You Were Dead!

**Chapter 12: I Thought You Were Dead!**

            Shepard paced in front of the tank holding the collector in the tech labs. Mordin assured her that it wasn’t conscious, but she could swear that the black orbs were tracking her movements. It made her skin crawl.

            “Are you sure it can’t get out of there?” Shepard asked.

            “Shepard, will tranquilize you if asked again,” Mordin said.

            Shepard turned to look at the salarian as he worked at his table. He felt her eyes on her and met her gaze. Shepard squinted her eyes and although she saw the faint hint of a smile around the corners of his mouth she knew at once that he was completely serious.

            “Fine, call me as soon as you have something,” Shepard said walking towards the door.

            Shepard stepped out into the CIC and took the elevator up to her cabin. She stopped in front of her desk and stared down at her closed laptop, lost in thought. Shepard let out a sigh and rubbed her hand up and down her arm trying to chase away the bad feeling the collector left her with. She pulled out her chair and sat down; opening the laptop she checked her messages.

            Shepard: I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write. Keelah, things have been… terrible. I tried to talk to Father. I tried to convince him that what he was doing was wrong. At first he tried to deny everything, but when he realized I wasn’t going to accept that he simply refused to listen to reason. Keelah… I reported him to the Admiralty Board, Shepard. His trial will start tomorrow. My father will probably be exiled and I’m the one who reported him. At least he’ll be alive.

            Shepard could almost hear the sorrow dripping from Tali’s written words. Her heart ached for her friend, but she knew telling her was the right call. If Tali knew that she had a chance to save her father’s life and Shepard hadn’t given it to her, Tali would never have forgiven Shepard. Shepard hit reply and started typing.

            Tali: I’m sorry to hear that he wouldn’t listen. Hell, I’m sorry that any of this is happening at all. If there is anything that I can do, just say the words. I mean that, Tali. Please let me know what the Admiral’s decide.

            Shepard opened another message from Councilor Anderson.

            Shepard: I’d like to speak with you in person about the events on Fehl Prime. Please come to the Citadel at your earliest convenience.

            Anderson: We’re on our way to Illium now. The Citadel will be our next stop. I’ll message you again when we’re on our way.

            EDI’s blue hologram popped up next to the door as soon as Shepard hit the send button.

            “ETA to Illium, thirty minutes,” EDI said.

            “Thanks EDI. Please tell Miranda and Garrus to be ready,” Shepard said.

            “Certainly, Shepard,” EDI said and disappeared.

            Miranda had found Shepard minutes after she had boarded the Normandy after leaving Fehl Prime. She was agitated, telling Shepard that she had received an update regarding Oriana. Niket had contacted Lanteia and was offering to move Oriana for Miranda. Shepard had grabbed Miranda’s shoulders, much to Miranda’s surprise and told Miranda to calm down. Shepard reminded Miranda that this was expected and assured her that they were going to Illium right away. Miranda had stared at Shepard with wide eyes and mumbled something about Niket before breaking away from Shepard and heading to the elevator.

            She seemed far more collected when Shepard saw her again a few hours later. She handed Shepard a datapad with confirmation of the docking fees having been paid by Cerberus as well as a detailed report of her sister’s itinerary and background information on Niket, Lanteia, Oriana, Oriana’s adoptive family, and her father Henry Lawson. Shepard was dumbfounded; Miranda had always held information like this close unless it was strictly necessary. The reports told her everything, including the fact that Oriana was significantly younger than Miranda and still a child when Miranda took her from their father. Miranda had never offered her this information until Niket and Enyala put her in a position where she had to explain herself.

            Shepard took her time donning her armor and checking her guns before heading to the cockpit to watch the decent. Shepard rested a hand on Joker’s shoulder as she stared at Illium laid out before them. He glanced up at her briefly before turning his attention back to the holographic screens in front of him.

            “What’s on Illium?” Joker asked.

            “A favor for Miranda and two additions for the team,” Shepard said.

            “Oh yeah? Who are we picking up?” Joker asked.

            “Asari Justicar and a drell assassin,” Shepard said.

            Joker turned to look at her and said, “An assassin? Really? Because we don’t have enough deranged people on board.”

            “Just because he’s an assassin doesn’t mean he’s deranged,” Shepard said.

            “He kills people for money,” Joker said.

            “It’s just a better skilled, more selective mercenary,” Shepard said.

            “That makes him deadlier, not less deranged. I mean, have you actually talked to that Zaeed?” Joker said.

            “Technically I kill people for money,” Shepard said.

            “You’re making my point for me, Shepard,” Joker said swiveling back towards his console.

            “Ouch,” Shepard said.

            “So what’s a Justicar?” Joker asked.

            “Mmmm. I think the easiest way to explain it is like the religious police,” Shepard said.

            _“Gods, don’t tell her that,”_ Jane said.

            “That is not completely accurate, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “I know, EDI. I was trying to keep it simple but why don’t you go ahead and tell Joker all about the Justicars? I’m headed to the airlock,” Shepard said.

            “That really isn’t necessary, EDI,” Joker said.

            “Yes it is, EDI!” Shepard hollered back over her shoulder.

            Miranda and Garrus were waiting at the airlock for Shepard. They made their way off the ship and out into the entry way of Illium. Shepard glanced out over the Illium skyline, taking in the towering buildings and the crowded airspace filled with skycars coming and going. She took a deep breath as painful memories of finding Liara on Illium raced through her mind. She wouldn’t find Liara on Illium this time. Shepard would never see Liara again.

            “Don’t say it,” Shepard thought.

            _“Say what?”_ Jane asked.

            “That it’s my fault,” Shepard thought.

            _“I wasn’t going to, you’re thinking it enough for the both of us,”_ Jane said.

            “Shepard, what’s wrong?” Garrus asked taking a tentative sniff of the air around her.

            “Just thinking about Liara,” Shepard said.

            “She was supposed to be here, on Illium, wasn’t she?” Miranda asked.

            Shepard nodded her head and swallowed against the thick knot in her throat.

            “But something you did before changed things and now Liara is dead,” Miranda said.

            A low growl rose from Garrus’ throat and Miranda shook her head. Shepard took a sharp, deep breath in through her nose and put her hands behind her back, clasping one wrist with the other hand. It gave her a collected look, but really it was the best way that she could keep from punching Miranda in the nose.

            “I’m sorry, Commander. That was terribly insensitive. I didn’t mean for that to sound so harsh. I’m just trying to understand… everything,” Miranda said glancing up as an asari flanked by two LOKI mechs headed their way.

            “You mean you’re trying to see if there is any chance that things will go wrong for you and your sister,” Garrus said.

            “Maybe,” Miranda said.

            “Welcome to Nos Astra,” the asari said looking down at a datapad. “My records for your ship indicate that all docking and administrative fees have been paid… by _Cerberus_.”

            The asari took a closer look at the three of them before glancing back down at her datapad.

            “I see. Interesting. My name is Careena. If you have any questions or need any information about the area, please do not hesitate to ask,” Careena said.

            _“Well that was a lot less friendly than when Liara’s here,”_ Jane said.

            “Thank you, but I believe I have all of the information that I need,” Shepard said.

            “Very well, if you find that you do need something you can find me here,” Careena said.

            “Thanks, Careena,” Shepard said moving past the asari and her mech guards.

            “Lanteia said she would meet us in a bar called Eternity,” Miranda said as Careena walked back towards the door.

            “I know where it’s at,” Shepard said.

            Shepard led Garrus and Miranda through the door that Careena stood next to, watching Shepard and her crew with obvious disdain. They made their way past the customs desk and through another door where she paused once more looking out over the balcony.

            _“It’s all still the same. Liara’s dead and it’s all still the same. Nothing should be the same here, not without her,”_ Jane said. _“How can it all be the same?”_

Shepard swallowed again and gently shook her head before turning to her right and down the stairs. She moved slowly towards an asari standing next to a wall knowing that she would call out to Shepard.

            “Excuse me! Excuse me, are you Commander Shepard?” the asari said.

            “Yeah, I’m Shepard,” she said.

            “I thought so, I saw your… I guess you would say aura. I’d recognize you anywhere,” the asari said before looking around.

            _“It can’t be the same,”_ Jane said.

            “I was asked to give you a message if I saw you. It’s from a friend you made on Noveria,” the asari said.

            “Of course,” Shepard said.

            The asari took a step closer to Shepard and her eyes rolled back in her head. Her mouth began to move with a sub-harmonic, musical voice that was not wholly her own.

            “Shepard. We hide. We burrow. We build. But we know that you seek those who soured the songs of our mothers. When the time comes, our voice will join with yours, and our crescendo will burn the darkness clean. Thank you, Shepard. The rachni will sing again, because of you,” the asari said.

            “What does that mean?” Miranda asked.

            “It means the rachni will join us in the war,” Shepard said.

            _“Not before the queen gets taken by the reapers,”_ Jane said.

            When the asari’s eyes returned to their proper position Shepard spoke, wishing to cut the conversation short. She couldn’t bear to hear the asari’s story again, not right now, not when she was in a place that somehow felt like it shouldn’t even exist without Liara. Shepard didn’t know how much of that was Jane, but it didn’t matter, it felt just as real.

            “Thank you, when you see her again please tell her… tell her that she needs to be careful. That those who soured the voices of their mothers will come for them again. Tell her if that happens, if she’s taken, I’ll set her free again,” Shepard said turning away.

            “Wait! What do you mean? Commander Shepard, are they in trouble? Please, you have to tell me,” the asari said.

            “I can’t tell you anything more,” Shepard said rubbing her forehead. “Just please don’t forget what I said.”

            Shepard walked away with the asari calling after her, begging her to explain herself. She moved Miranda and Garrus between her and the table that Gianna Parasini was sitting at, trying to block herself from the woman’s view.

            “Holy crap. Shepard? I thought you were dead!” Gianna said.

            “Damn it,” Shepard whispered before forcing a smile on her face and turning to Gianna’s table.

            “Hello, Ms. Parasini. I get that a lot these days,” Shepard said.

            “Please, call me Gianna. I’d ask you what happened but it’s probably classified. You, I remember you. You were on Noveria, too,” Gianna said to Garrus.

            “That I was,” Garrus said.

            “Well listen, Gianna, it’s nice to see you but we’re in a bit of a hurry. We have to meet someone about an urgent matter,” Shepard said.

            “Oh that’s alright. I’m working a job so I’ll be around for a while. Find me later, Shepard, I still owe you a beer,” Gianna said.

            “I’ll do that, Gianna. Thanks,” Shepard said.

            Shepard stopped to stare at the staircase around the corner from Gianna’s table. Stairs that led up to the office Liara always occupied in Jane’s memories. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wondered if Nyxeris would still be up those stairs if Shepard walked up them. Would the Shadow Broker’s agent know who she was? Did she already know Shepard was on Illium?

            “Commander?” Miranda said snapping Shepard back to the present.

            “Yeah, sorry,” Shepard said.

            “Commander forgive me but you seem incredibly distracted and if this is going to work, you are going to have to focus,” Miranda said.

            “I’ll be fine, Miranda,” Shepard said moving on.

            _“We’re always fine. We have to be,”_ Jane said.

            They walked past all of the merchants and consoles scattered across floor, dodging asari, salarians, and volus as they went. The floor ended at a staircase leading up, the red letters scrawled across the advertisement banner proclaimed that this was the way to Eternity. Shepard climbed the stairs and rounded another corner. A door slid open revealing steps leading down to a foyer.

            “I’m going to have that asshole arrested,” an asari said as they walked by.

            “Conrad Verner,” Shepard said.

            “Verner? That guy from the Citadel who had that obsession with you? What about him?” Garrus asked.

            “The asshole she’s talking about,” Shepard said.

            “Verner? Here on Illium? How has that idiot not been scooped up as an ‘indentured servant’?” Garrus asked making air quotes.

            Shepard shrugged, walking up the next flight of stairs she entered Eternity. Shepard stopped inside and looked towards the actual bar where Conrad stood. Shepard let her eyes glide to the side to the asari behind the bar.

            _“Of course it isn’t Aethyta. Why would she be here? No Liara to watch over, no Aethyta,”_ Jane said.

            “I know,” Shepard said aloud.

            “You know what?” Garrus asked.

            “Nothing. There’s Conrad. I’ll deal with him later. Come on, Miranda, Lanteia should be right inside there,” Shepard said pointing to the side room.

            “So not everything is the same,” Shepard thought.

            Miranda crossed the floor and entered the room ahead of Shepard and Garrus. An asari Shepard recognized as Miranda’s contact pushed herself away from the wall.

            “Ms. Lawson, good you’re here. I don’t know who your source was but they were right. Niket got in touch with me and said he was a friend of yours, a friend of Oriana’s. He said that your father has sent Eclipse mercenaries to make a sweep hoping to find her and that they’d be looking for you. Said he wanted to help move Oriana and her family to the terminal,” Lanteia said. “I told him I’d have to check with you first, I wasn’t sure how you wanted me to handle him. I did some asking around though, and I’ve found out he’s working with the Eclipse on this.”

            “Agree to it, Miranda,” Shepard said.

            “What?! No! You have to be kidding, Shepard,” Miranda said.

            “Would you excuse us for a moment?” Shepard said to Lanteia.

            The asari shrugged and Shepard held on to Miranda’s arm leading her back out of the side room.

            “Miranda, listen to me, I don’t know what happens if you don’t let Niket escort Oriana. I’ll be operating blind. I only know how things will work out if you agree to let Niket be her escort,” Shepard said. “Hell, you might have already changed things enough to cause a problem by warning Lanteia. I don’t know. It’s your call, and we’ll see this thing through no matter your choice but the more things change the fewer guarantees I can make.”

            _“You’re right, things have already changed. Who knows if you’ll be able to save her sister?”_ Jane said.

            “That’s not helping, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            Miranda looked towards the bar, her brow furrowed in thought. After a moment she looked back to Shepard and crossed her arms.

            “What happens in this prophecy of yours?” Miranda asked.

            Shepard frowned but answered anyway, “Usually you aren’t aware of Niket’s ulterior motives and you agree to allow him to transport Oriana. We take a skycar to cut off and distract the Eclipse. We fight our way through the cargo terminals, taking down a ton of mercs until we finally get to the dock. When we get there, we find Niket and a merc named Enyala talking with a dock official who won’t let anyone through because of the scene we’re causing in the terminal. That’s when you realize Niket is helping your father and we… take care of things there before going to make sure your sister is safe.”

            “We take care of things? You mean we kill Niket?” Miranda asked.

            “I’ve seen it go two different ways, Miranda. If you don’t shoot him, Enyala will,” Shepard said.

            Miranda ran her hand through her hair and asked, “Why is he doing this, Shepard? I thought Niket was my friend.”

            _“Because you kidnapped your kid sister and your dad’s an egomaniacal ass with far too much money to throw around,”_ Jane said.

            “Not helping,” Shepard thought.

            _“You know, maybe I don’t feel like being helpful,”_ Jane said.

            “Then do us both a favor and just stay quiet,” Shepard thought.

            “He’s doing it because he honestly thinks that Oriana will have a better life with her father. You didn’t tell him that you took her and when your father told him about it he told didn’t believe it… until the day you told him. He didn’t think that it was right for you to take Oriana when she was so young. You made a choice to leave, she didn’t. He contacted your father that night and said he would help get Oriana back,” Shepard said.

            Miranda glanced towards Lanteia and said, “Either way Niket dies.”

            “Niket doesn’t have to die. If we know you’re not going to shoot him, and we know that Enyala will it just means we have to keep her from getting the chance,” Garrus said.

            “I’m sorry, no. I can’t feel right about any of this knowing that Niket is working with my father. I want to be with Oriana in person, to protect her,” Miranda said.

            _“Isn’t that sweet. You know that this isn’t a good idea, right?”_ Jane asked.

            “Are you sure about this, Miranda?” Shepard asked.

            “I am. Don’t worry Shepard, if this goes bad I won’t be blaming you. You can rest easy tonight either way,” Miranda said.

            _“Why are we even bothering to help her? She knows what’s going to happen, if she’s going to be such a bitch, why don’t you make her deal with this on her own?”_ Jane asked.

            “That’s not fair, Miranda,” Shepard said.

            “Isn’t it? I know you don’t think very highly of me, Shepard. I know you’re here now because you want me focused for the mission ahead, and I doubt you would be so opinionated on the matter if it weren’t for our little secret,” Miranda said.

            Miranda turned her back to Shepard and started to walk back to Lanteia.

            “That’s not true, Miranda,” Shepard said. “You don’t always make it easy to like you, but I think beneath all that icy bullshit you’re actually a good person. And you’re resilient as all hell. I admire that.”

            Miranda stopped in her tracks and dropped her head, studying the ground in front of her. Shepard watched the other woman’s back as she slowly turned around. Something flickered across Miranda’s eyes before her mask of confident aloofness slid back into place. Shepard wished she knew what it meant.

            “Thank you, Commander,” Miranda said before making her way back to Lanteia.

            “This isn’t going to end well,” Garrus said.

            “Yes it will. I’m going to make sure of it,” Shepard said following Miranda.

            _“I guess we’ll see,”_ Jane said.

            “Tell Niket I’ll be handling Oriana’s escort,” Miranda said.

            Lanteia looked at Shepard before nodding her head and saying, “I’ll tell him. I’ve got a car waiting if you’re ready to go.”

            “The sooner we go, the sooner I can know my sister is safe,” Miranda said.

            “Good. Follow me,” Lanteia said leaving the side room.

            Lanteia led Shepard and the others to her skycar. Miranda took the passenger seat while Shepard and Garrus climbed in the back. Normally she would snicker at Garrus’ struggle to get his long, gangly legs tucked into the back seat but she wasn’t feeling very humorous. The car took off and merged with the air traffic of Illium as Shepard stared out of the window. Garrus slipped her hand into his and gave it a gentle squeeze. She turned to look at him, doing her best to give him a smile but it only caused his brow plating to furrow. She settled for squeezing his hand in return before absently stroking her thumb back and forth across the top of his hand.

            A few minutes later Lanteia lowered the skycar next to a busy terminal. The doors opened and Shepard climbed out after Miranda. Lanteia checked something on her omni-tool before pointing down a corridor.

            “Oriana and her family should be coming in from down there,” Lanteia said. “How do you want to do this?”

            “Garrus and I can check out the area, look for any sign of Niket or the Eclipse while you and Lanteia wait for Oriana,” Shepard suggested.

            “Alright. Thank you, Commander,” Miranda said.

            “Sure,” Shepard said as she and Garrus started to walk away.

            “And Shepard?” Miranda called after her.

            Shepard turned back around a few feet away, Miranda moved closer to her.

            “I’m sorry. What I said earlier, you’re right, it wasn’t fair of me,” Miranda said.

            “It’s OK, Miranda. I get it, you’re worried about your sister,” said Shepard.

            “I am, but that isn’t an excuse. I’ve never been very good at… being a good person. All my life people have only seen me for what I can do for them. None of them really cared about me, not really. I guess I learned to expect the worst from others,” Miranda said.

            “Don’t worry about it, Miranda. I’ve got tougher skin than that. Let’s just focus on getting your sister out of here safely and we can talk more later if you still feel like you need to explain yourself. Deal?” Shepard asked.

            _“Need I remind you that she had control chips put in our skull?”_ Jane asked.

            “I haven’t forgotten,” Shepard thought.

            Miranda smiled and said, “Deal.”

            Miranda and Lanteia made their way down the corridor while Shepard and Garrus began scoping out the place. Garrus glanced around the ceiling and pointed up. Shepard followed his finger and saw he was pointing at the catwalks.

            “Good idea, I’ll stay down here,” Shepard said.

            “I’ll keep you on the radio,” Garrus said as he jogged off in the opposite direction from Miranda and Lanteia.

            Shepard checked her radio to make sure her mic was opened and began moving through the crowded terminal. Eclipse was primarily composed of asari, humans, and salarians. Nearly everyone in the damn terminal was either asari, human, or salarian but she saw none wearing the gaudy yellow armor marking them as Eclipse mercs. Garrus checked in to let her know that he was on the catwalks and hadn’t yet seen any mercs either.

            Shepard continued to weave her way through the crowd heading towards Miranda’s location. A man bumped into Shepard causing him to drop the briefcase he had been carrying, spilling the contents across the floor.

            “Crap! I’m so sorry,” he said bending down to gather up lost datapads and file folders.

            Shepard knelt down to help the man collect his belongings when the first echo of gunfire hit her ears. She stayed low and scanned the area, seeing people running from the corridor Miranda and Lanteia had walked down.

            “Fuck,” Shepard said before shoving the datapad in her hand at the man.

            _“Of course,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard rose to her feet and drew her pistol before making her way towards the corridor, pushing frantic people out of her way as they raced past her.

            “Garrus, where are you?” Shepard asked.

            “I’m about three yards behind you moving in your direction,” Garrus replied.

            “Miranda what’s happening?” Shepard asked.

            Miranda didn’t respond. Shepard heard more gunshots along with more panicked screaming as people ran from the corridor.

            “Miranda?” Shepard said again.

            Shepard was half way down the corridor when she caught her first glimpse of the action. A figure in yellow armor flew across the terminal before disappearing from her sight. Shepard continued to run down the corridor towards the terminal, the fleeing crowd thinning out as she went. A sound overhead caught her attention and she glanced up to see Garrus passing her on the catwalks before disappearing in the shadows.

            Shepard reached the end of the corridor and pressed her back against the wall; to her left everything was clear. She leaned around the edge of the wall and looked to her right. Lanteia sat on the floor with her back against a raised planter. Her hand pressed against a wound in her side as deep purple blood pooled on the floor around her, staining her hand and clothes. Miranda was a few feet ahead of her ducking behind another planter. Oriana stood in the middle of the room with Enyala’s arm wrapped around her chest. Enyala held a gun pointed at Miranda’s location, her arm stretching out past Oriana’s shoulder.

            “You said we would do this my way!” a man’s voice rang out.

            Shepard followed the sound until she found the source. Niket stood in a similar position as Oriana, an Eclipse merc holding a gun to his head.

            “The boss wants the girl, it doesn’t matter how he gets her. I get paid either way, Niket,” Enyala said. “Now tell your whore to throw down her gun before things really get ugly.”

            “Daddy, oh god, Daddy,” Oriana sobbed.

            Shepard glanced around until she saw Oriana’s father laying in a pool of his own blood, her mother kneeling beside him holding his head in her lap. She whipped her head back and forth between her dying husband and her captured daughter.

            “Miranda, please. Just do what she says,” Niket yelled across the room.

            “Screw you Niket! This is your fault!” Miranda yelled.

            A few more Eclipse mercs lined the area behind Niket watching and waiting for orders. Aside from Oriana’s father, three civilians lay dead spread across the terminal.

            “I’m in position, I have a shot,” Garrus said.

            “Take it,” Shepard said.

            Enyala’s head jerked back as blood exploded from the back of her skull. Her eyes widened as her arms slowly dropped, her pistol clattered to the floor. Oriana’s mother screamed. The merc holding Niket pulled the trigger, shooting Niket through the temple. Enyala’s body crumpled to the floor. Shepard stepped out of cover and fired three rounds at the merc who killed Niket. Oriana fell to her knees before scrambling towards her mother.

            The echo of Garrus’ sniper rifle tore through the air as he hit another merc, the shot went through the side of the mercs helmet, ripping chunks off and revealing half of the man’s bloodied face. It wasn’t enough to kill him though, the merc kept moving but instead of trying to head off Oriana he dove for cover. Miranda rose to her feet and broke into a full run, heading straight across the terminal to Oriana.

            “Miranda! No, stay in cover!” Shepard yelled.

            _“She’s going to get herself killed,”_ Jane said.

            Oriana reached her parents just as a bullet ripped through Miranda’s shoulder. Miranda screamed in pain but kept moving. Shepard fired at the mercs to the right of Miranda, unwilling to risk shooting across Miranda’s trajectory. Another shot from Garrus’ sniper rifle kept the mercs on Miranda’s left ducking for cover. Miranda made it to her sister and dropped to the floor next to them. A heartbeat later Miranda extended a domed biotic field around her sister and her family. It wouldn’t stop bullets but it would slow them down, deflect them maybe just enough to save a life. It was foolish, desperate attempt to save her sister’s life when in all likelihood it would only result in Miranda’s death. The mercs wouldn’t have shot Oriana, she was their meal ticket.

            Shepard raced for the planter Lanteia was sitting against and crouched next to the asari. She fired four more shots over the top of the planter before crouching back down again. She opened her omni-tool and pulled up the Medi-gel dispense application before firing over the top of the planter once more. She set her pistol on the ground long enough to rip open Lanteia’s shirt, and the asari screamed in pain. Shepard picked the pistol up again and fired off a couple more rounds, keeping the mercs attention on her and off of Miranda the best she could.

            “It’s still in there… no exit wound,” Lanteia said through panting breaths.

            “Shit. This will stop the bleeding for now, but it’s still going to hurt like a motherfucker,” Shepard said.

            Lanteia nodded and Shepard applied the Medi-gel. A merc got ballsy or just stupid and decided to try to make a run for Oriana. He got five feet out of cover before Garrus’ shot him in the knee. Shepard heard Garrus chuckle through her radio as the man fell to the ground screaming in agony. Shepard wrapped a second merc up in a biotic Reave while Lanteia rolled over and pulled herself to a crouched position.

            “Stay down, or you’ll only cause more damage,” Shepard said.

            “I don’t think so, those assholes shot me,” Lanteia said before throwing out a Singularity just above a planter where two mercs where hiding.

            The mercs were pulled up into the air to move slowly around the spinning ball of dark energy. Shepard and Garrus shot at them until they were dead mercs spinning around. The merc Garrus shot in the knee pulled himself up on his one good knee and started trying to crawl for cover. Garrus chuckled and shot him in the arm making him collapse back to the ground again.

            “Garrus!” Shepard said.

            “I’m here, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            “Stop toying with him and kill him damn it, I need to get Miranda out of there,” Shepard said.

            “Right, you got it,” Garrus said.

            Shepard heard the sounds of Garrus reloading his sniper rifle before another shot rang out taking the merc in the head. Shepard ran out of cover and raced for a row of benches backed against a low wall. A bullet tore through Miranda’s barrier and lodged itself in her thigh. She screamed in agony as her barrier flickered. Miranda closed her eyes and clenched her jaw, focusing she pushed the barrier back into place. Oriana screamed in her mother’s arms. Movement to the side caught Shepard’s attention and she turned, pulling up her pistol. A salarian lay cowering beneath another set of benches, his knees pulled up to his chest. Shepard duck-walked her way over to the end of her row of benches before rolling forward to the next set.

            “Are you hurt?” Shepard asked.

            The salarian shook his head, his eyes wide with terror.

            “OK, stay down. Don’t move from this spot, OK?” Shepard asked.

            He nodded his head fervently.

            A merc stepped out of cover and Latenia hit him with a Warp. Shepard vaulted over the benches and the low wall and raced for a planter putting her about even with Miranda.

            “Police headed our way,” Garrus said.

            “Good,” Shepard said.

            Oriana pulled away from her mother and after a moment of studying Miranda intently a resolute look came over Oriana’s face and she pushed her own less stable biotic field out around their small group. Miranda’s eyes snapped open when she felt the brush of a biotic field against hers. Oriana knelt in front of Miranda and the two women held each other’s gaze. Oriana’s field stretched out further, the strain was apparent on her face as her barrier met Miranda’s and merged into one.

            “Shepard, mercs are landing at your six,” Garrus said before he fired a shot.

            Shepard glanced behind her to see shuttles stopping above the docks and mercs dropping from them to the ground. Shepard was too far away from their location to effectively use her biotics to knock them off the platform and she was exposed at her current location. Shepard crept slowly around the edge of the planter trying not to draw attention to herself until she was on the other side. It opened her up to the mercs still in hiding at the back of the terminal but it gave her protection from the bigger threat building on the docks.

            A bullet slammed into the planter next to Shepard’s shoulder. She flinched away from the shot and scanned the area. She saw an Eclipse standing behind a partition preparing to take another shot at her. Shepard activated her biotic Charge halfway to her feet and slammed into the merc knocking him back against the door to the women’s restroom. She recovered from the Charge and a bullet slammed into her back, dropping her shields and denting her armor. Shepard grabbed the man she just hit with her Charge and spun him around acting as a shield. She fired her pistol at the two mercs directly opposite of her as they filled their friend full of holes. She cursed as she felt one of the bullets slam into her shoulder, piercing her armor. Pain blossomed and hot blood began to drip down her arm.

            She dropped the body when it went limp in her grasp and threw a Shockwave at the two mercs, knocking them backwards into the men’s restroom door. She emptied her clip into one of them before he could get back to his feet. She hit the second man with a Reave and switched to her assault rifle. He dropped dead from her Reave before she could fire a shot. Shepard pressed her back to the partition hiding the bathroom door and glanced around the corner.

            Miranda and Oriana were still fighting to keep a barrier up. Mercs where involved in a full blown shoot out with the asari commandos on the Illium Police force at the other end of the terminal. Garrus was providing sniper fire for the commandos as they pushed the mercs back with their biotics and the less frequent gunshot. Shepard ran for Miranda pushing herself through the two women’s barrier. She took one glance at Oriana’s father and realized it was far too late for him. Miranda’s focus shifted to Shepard and Shepard shook her head. Shepard put her hand under Oriana’s mother’s arm and started to pull the woman away. The woman struggled and tried to fight Shepard off.

            “Stop it, he’s gone. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do for him now. I’ve got to get you out of here,” Shepard said making the woman look at her.

            “Mom go. Listen to her and go, please,” Oriana said.

            _“She’s keeping it together well. I suppose she would, being Miranda’s genetic twin,”_ Jane said.

            The woman sniffled and nodded her head. Shepard stayed low, keeping the woman down as close to the ground as she could as she led her to crouch behind a planter. They moved from cover to cover until Shepard got back to the corridor that led back to the skycar Lanteia brought them in. She pulled the woman a few feet into the corridor and stopped when she saw four asari commandos waiting at the other end. The commandos raised their pistols at Shepard and ordered her to stop.

            “I’m Council Spectre Commander Shepard. I have a civilian here and I’m trying to get her to safety. There are others inside I need to go back for,” Shepard yelled down the hall.

            One of the commandos broke line as the others lowered their weapons. The police officer rand down the corridor to Shepard and took a hold of the woman’s other arm, guiding her down the hall and away from Shepard. Shepard went back towards the sound of gunfire and checked that her path was clear before running back inside, moving from cover to cover she got back to Miranda and Oriana.

            “Alright, Oriana come on let’s get you out of here,” Shepard said.

            “What about her?” Oriana asked nodding at the wounded Miranda.

            “What, Miranda? Nah, Miranda’s tough she’ll be alright let’s just get you out of here,” Shepard said.

            “Go, Ori. Go with Shepard, she’ll keep you safe,” Miranda said.

            Oriana nodded and pulled herself into a crouching position ready to move with Shepard. As soon as Shepard had Oriana safely behind cover, Miranda rose to her feet. Blood dripped down her arm and thigh but she walked with her head held high and a fire burning in her eyes straight towards the ongoing battle at the other end of the terminal.

            “Garrus, Miranda is injured and headed to the fight. I’m getting her sister to safety –,” Shepard said.

            “Sister?” Oriana stopped to look at Shepard, forcing Shepard to tug her arm until she was moving again.

            _“Oops,”_ Jane said.

            “Garrus, Miranda isn’t being rational right now,” Shepard said.

            “I got her, Shepard, don’t worry about it,” Garrus said.

            “Thank you,” Shepard said.

            “What do you mean her sister?” Oriana asked again as they ducked behind a planter.

            “I’ll let her explain it to you once this is over. For now, your mother is waiting for me to bring you back to her alive so keep quiet and follow me,” Shepard said.

            A commando waited in the corridor a few feet from the opening ready to relieve Oriana from Shepard. Shepard handed Oriana off and ducked back inside. The mercs had pushed forward into the terminal, Miranda had at least been coolheaded enough to take cover as she joined the commandos in flinging biotics around the terminal but she was still losing blood and after holding that barrier for so long she was getting weaker.

            Lanteia was still in the fight, doing what she could to provide support to the police and Shepard’s team but Shepard could see that she was bleeding again. Shepard moved to the asari’s side and pulled her into cover motioning for her to get to the corridor. Lanteia nodded and stayed low; an officer met her a few feet from the corridor’s opening and helped her inside.

            Shepard made her way over to the salarian still hiding under the bench.

            “Come on, let’s get you out of here,” Shepard said holding out a hand.

            The salarian shook his head.

            “Come on, it’s alright there are police waiting to keep you safe just over there,” Shepard said.

            “No, no I still hear gunshots. I’m safe here, I want to stay here,” the salarian said.

            “Oh for the love of…,” Shepard grabbed the salarian and drug him out from underneath the bench.

            He kicked and scrambled trying to get back under the bench so she punched him in the temple and knocked him out. She pulled his limp form up onto her shoulders and made her way back towards the corridor. The same asari was waiting for Shepard again when she got to the corridor.

            “Where is he wounded?” the officer asked.

            “He’s not. I had to knock him out to get him to safety,” Shepard said.

            “Ah,” the officer said pulling the salarian from Shepard’s shoulders to her own.

            “I haven’t seen any other civilians still alive. I’m going back in to help the fight,” Shepard said.

            “Thank you, Spectre,” the asari said making her way back down the corridor.

            Shepard lifted her assault rifle and made her way towards the action. She fought her way to Miranda’s side, shooting mercs as she went. More than one officer glanced her way in surprise before focusing back on the people who were shooting at them. Once at Miranda’s side, Shepard grabbed a hold of the biotic and pulled her back into cover. Miranda glared at Shepard as Shepard opened her omni-tool and applied Medi-gel to her own and Miranda’s wounds.

            With Miranda regaining her strength and Shepard back in the fight, the tables quickly turned. Mercs began piling up on the docs as they were pushed further and further back. Finally, they did the smart thing and began retreating to the shuttles. When the last merc alive was in the last shuttle, the doors closed and the shuttle took off.

Shepard moved through the terminal checking fallen civilians for signs of life. She reached Niket’s body and shook her head. Miranda walked up behind her and the two women stood looking down at Niket in silence.

            “I’m sorry, Miranda,” Shepard said.

            “I’m not. Maybe I should be, but I’m not. I get it, Shepard. I get what he was trying to do but he made the wrong choice and now all of these people are dead because of it,” Miranda said looking around the terminal. “Oriana’s father is dead because of Niket’s choices.”

            “Your sister is safe now, why don’t you go see her?” Shepard said.

            “I’m not sure that’s wise, Shepard,” Miranda said.

            “Well, she knows you’re her sister and she’s waiting for an explanation. Best it comes from you,” Shepard said.

            “You told her?!” Miranda screeched.

            “I didn’t mean to, but yeah it slipped while I was on the comm with Garrus,” Shepard said.

            “God, what do I even say to her?” Miranda asked.

            Shepard shrugged and said, “Tell her that you’re her sister and that you love her. The other details aren’t so important.”

            _“The other details aren’t important? Being a genetically engineered human, grown from the same DNA as her sister and then kidnapped when she was a child by that same sister isn’t important? Having a crazy biological father hell bent on getting her back so that she can be his legacy isn’t important?”_ Jane asked.

            “Yeah… you’re right. Where is she?” Miranda asked.

            “She’s with her mother and the police back through the corridor,” Shepard said.

            Miranda turned to look at the corridor. She glanced back at Shepard and gave her a soft smile before walking away. Shepard glanced up to see Garrus headed her way, his sniper rifle slung across his shoulder. He stopped and looked down at a merc that had started to move. Garrus put his foot on the merc’s throat and twisted his leg sharply to the side snapping the merc’s neck. Shepard flinched before Garrus turned his attention back to her and continued his stride. She moved to meet him.

            “The detective would like to take your statement,” Garrus said nodding back towards the cluster of Illium Police.

            “Fantastic,” Shepard said making her way over.

            “Shepard?” the asari said when Shepard approached.

            “Yeah,” Shepard said.

            “My officers say that you identified yourself as Council Spectre Commander Shepard, is that correct?” she asked.

            “Yes ma’am,” Shepard said.

            “Oh sorry, I’m Detective Trisa. If you wouldn’t mind, Spectre, I’d like to take your statement on what happened here today,” Trisa said.

            _“If you use Oriana or Miranda’s names, that will leave a paper trail for Henry Lawson to follow,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard rubbed at the back of her neck and said, “Sure. I’ll need some names stricken from your official report, however.”

            “Of course, Spectre,” Trisa said.

            “I was down that corridor when I heard the sounds of gunfire. I made my way to this terminal where I found the Eclipse holding two people hostage. One of them is now dead over there on the floor,” Shepard said pointing towards Niket. “There were dead civilians already. One of my crew who was present when this began was engaging the mercs, attempting to rescue the young woman from the Eclipse’ attempted kidnapping.”

            “How do you know they were attempting to kidnap the young woman?” Trisa asked.

            “She is the biological daughter of an influential man. She was adopted at a young age by her new family and is now legally an adult. The woman on my crew is her biological sister. She got word that their biological father had learned of her sister’s location and was sending in the Eclipse to bring her back to him. We came here today to provide escort for the young woman and her adoptive family to a safe location,” Shepard said.

            “Why was she adopted out?” Trisa asked.

            Shepard raised an eyebrow not seeing how the question was really relevant at the moment.

            _“I don’t think she believes you,”_ Jane said.

            “I’m just trying to understand why this ‘influential man’ was going to so much trouble to abduct the woman,” Trisa said.

            “I’m sorry, Detective, but that would be a matter for the family to discuss if they choose,” Shepard said.

            “Of course, please continue,” Trisa said.

            “So, anyway, Garrus was already on the catwalks,” Shepard said and Garrus raised his hand. “Scouting the area back that way for any sign of the Eclipse. So when the gunfire started he moved to this terminal on the catwalks. One of them had the young woman and was attempting to escape with her. Garrus informed me that he had a shot and I ordered him to take it. He shot the merc and young woman moved to her mother and wounded father. And then all hell broke loose. You guys showed up just about the same time as the Eclipse reinforcements.”

            “And you’re Garrus?” Trisa asked.

            “Garrus Vakarian, former C-Sec. You can use my name in your reports,” Garrus said with a nod.

            “Former?” Trisa asked.

            “I left C-Sec to join Shepard during the whole Saren fiasco a couple of years ago,” Garrus said.

            “Saren… shit. You’re _that_ Commander Shepard. I thought you were dead!” Trisa said looking back at Shepard.

            Garrus chuckled. Shepard glared at him but it only made him laugh harder.

            “Yes, Detective. I’m _that_ Commander Shepard. It’s complicated, I was reported dead when they couldn’t find me after the Normandy went down. I was recovered, however, by a private organization that spent two years and far more credits than I want to think about putting me back together again,” Shepard said.

            _“And by ‘private organization’ you mean ‘Cerberus’. Why bother to hide it, all she has to do is check out what ship you’re on and she’ll know,”_ Jane said.

            “Wow. OK, well, you know what, I think that I have everything that I need here,” Trisa said.

            “You do?” Shepard asked, her eyebrow twitching.

            “Yes, I mean obviously the Eclipse were responsible for today’s events. Their reasons are irrelevant. My officers tell me that not only did your team help to rescues civilians but aided them in dealing with the mercenary forces. I don’t really see a need to tear this one apart,” Trisa said.

            “I see. Thank you, Detective,” Shepard said.

            “Not a problem,” Trisa said.

            Shepard and Garrus left the detective in search of Miranda. They found her sitting on a bench in the next terminal with Oriana. Oriana’s mother was a few feet away talking to one of the officers. Shepard leaned against the wall next to Garrus while they waited, giving Miranda and Oriana space to talk privately.

            “The girl is alive,” Garrus said.

            “And other innocent people are dead,” Shepard said.

            “Could have gone a lot worse,” Garrus said.

            “Could have gone a lot better,” Shepard said.

            “Hmmm,” said Garrus.

            “Why were you toying with that merc?” Shepard asked.

            _“Leave it alone, Dawn,”_ Jane warned.

            Garrus turned his head to look at Shepard so she met his gaze. That ice had seeped back in around the edges of his eyes. She hadn’t seen that so much since they started to repair their relationship. She thought things were getting better for him.

            “Because he asked me to when he decided to be a moron and made a run for the girl,” Garrus said.

            Shepard looked away from Garrus’ cold eyes and focused on the two women sitting on the bench. She could feel Garrus still watching her, waiting for her to challenge his rationale. She kept silent. Garrus pushed away from the wall and started walking towards the skycar.

            “I told you, Shepard. I’m not the same turian you fell in love with,” Garrus said turning around to walk backwards while he spoke.

            Detective Trisa walked past Shepard and went to the officer talking to Oriana’s mother. She pulled the officer aside and a moment later the officer looked over towards Shepard. Shepard watched as her expression shifted to doubt and then shock before she turned back to the detective. Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. Trisa walked back over to Oriana’s mother and the officer walked away, back towards the corridor. Shepard watched as Oriana’s mother shook the detectives hand and nodded her head fervently before going to stand by her daughter. Miranda smiled and stood up, shaking the woman’s hand before bending to give her sister a hug.

            Shepard pushed away from the wall and walked over to Miranda. Oriana stood up when she saw Shepard coming towards them. Miranda turned to see what Oriana was looking at and Shepard saw tears in her eyes.

            “Commander Shepard, I didn’t get the chance to say it back there but thank you,” Oriana said holding her hand out to Shepard.

            Shepard shook her hand and said, “I’m glad I was able to help. And uh, I’m sorry about your father.”

            Oriana nodded and said, “I don’t think it’s really registered with me yet that he’s actually gone. With everything else happening… I think it’s going to catch up with me later, though.”

            Oriana looked at her mother who had taken a seat on the bench and was crying quietly into a handkerchief.

            “We should get going, the detective said that one of the officers is waiting to take us to a safe location. Miranda, I… thank you, for helping us today and for telling me the truth. I hope that you’ll keep in touch with me, I’d really like to get to know you,” Oriana said.

            “Of course, and if you need anything you’ll let me know?” Miranda asked.

            “I will, I promise,” Oriana said.

            Oriana wrapped her arm around her mother’s shoulder and whispered quietly. The older woman nodded her head and allowed her daughter to lead her away to the police skycar that was waiting for them.

            “Lanteia was taken to the hospital. We can take her skycar back, she won’t mind. Where’s Garrus?” Miranda asked.

            Shepard nodded towards Garrus who was leaning against Lanteia’s skycar with his arms crossed, looking out over the docks. Miranda gave Shepard an inquisitive look and Shepard shook her head. They made their way to the skycar and Miranda opened the passenger side door, climbing into the back seat she closed the door behind her.

            Garrus turned his head to watch Shepard when she stopped in front of him. His eyes had softened a little and Shepard thought she saw a question waiting to be asked in them. He didn’t ask her anything, though. He didn’t speak at all. Shepard took three more steps forward and leaned against Garrus, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her forehead into his. Garrus closed his eyes and pulled Shepard closer.


	14. Chapter 13: You Changed Me

**Chapter 13: You Changed Me**

            Shepard removed her armor and left it with Jacob to repair before letting Dr. Chakwas fuss over the wound in her shoulder. The bullet had gone through and it hadn’t hit anything vital so Shepard was content with the Medi-gel she slapped on it in the terminal. Dr. Chakwas, however, insisted on examining the wound.

            “Commander, you need to understand that with as quickly as you heal now you may not notice any fragments left behind until the wound is already completely healed. That means I’d have to perform surgery to get them back out instead of being able to remove them with hemostats,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “Alright, just make it quick. I still have things to do on Illium,” Shepard said settling onto the doctor’s table.

            Dr. Chakwas poked around near both sides of the bullet hole before running her scans. Finding nothing, she cleaned the wound and applied more Medi-gel before taping gauze over the wound. She nodded to Shepard and Shepard slid down off the table. Shepard didn’t mention the bruise she could feel on her back from the shot that took down her shields.

            “Thanks, doc,” Shepard said heading for the door.

            “If you want to thank me you can come back without any more holes!” Dr. Chakwas called after Shepard as the door slid closed.

            Shepard chuckled as she made her way back up to her cabin to change her blood soaked shirt and don new armor. She glanced at the empty fish tank and debated on picking some fish up on Illium. She thought better about it, fish always died on her. Apparently that was one of the few traits that carried over from life to life because Jane had said the same thing to her once before. Maybe she could drain the tank and turn it into a terrarium instead; maybe she could get a snake. They didn’t have to eat very often.

            “Hey, EDI?” Shepard called out and the blue hologram popped into view.

            “Yes Shepard?” EDI asked.

            “Will you see if Kelly is willing to drain this aquarium for me and set it up to hold a snake instead?” Shepard asked.

            “I will ask Ms. Chambers right away,” EDI said.

            A few moments later and EDI spoke again, “Ms. Chambers said she would be happy to make the necessary adjustments and will find you a list of stores that sell snakes.”

            “Thanks, EDI. What is Lia doing?” Shepard asked.

            “Ms. Vael is in the hangar practicing with her pistol. Legion is aiding her. They have assured me that they are not using live ammunition and will not cause damage to the ship,” EDI said.

            “Really? With Legion?” Shepard said snapping her armor into place.

            _“She’s really taken to Legion, it’s good that they’re working together,”_ Jane said.

            “That is correct. Legion has logged 123 hours of training for Ms. Vael,” EDI said.

            “Huh. Tell Lia to get some real ammo and meet me at the airlock in fifteen minutes. Grunt as well,” Shepard said.

            _“You think she’s ready for the field?”_ Jane asked.

            “Only one way to find out,” Shepard thought.

            “At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard checked her clips before heading out of the cabin and taking the elevator down to the CIC. Kelly turned away from her console when the elevator doors slid open and smiled at Shepard.

            “Commander, I’ve been able to compile a partial list for you already but unfortunately none of those stores are on Illium,” Kelly said.

            “That’s alright, Kelly. Did you find any on the Citadel?” Shepard asked.

            “There are two stores on the Citadel that are able to special order various small pets. If you’d like, I can place an order for you,” Kelly said.

            “Maybe later, I want to look at what’s available and what they need to not die on me before I make that big of a commitment,” Shepard said.

            “I understand, just let me know if you’d like for me to place the order or anything else,” Kelly said.

            “Will do, thanks, Kelly,” Shepard said.

            “It’s my pleasure,” said Kelly.

            Unsurprisingly, Grunt was already waiting for Shepard by the airlock.

            “Hey Grunt, listen I don’t think we’ll be running into a lot of trouble on this one but this is Lia’s first time out like this. She’s still learning so I’m going to need you to help watch her six, alright?” Shepard said.

            _“He’s not the most level-headed, are you sure he’s the right choice?”_ Jane asked.

            “But he’s the toughest and can pull more than his fair share of the weight,” Shepard thought.

            _“Fair enough,”_ Jane said.

            Grunt shrugged his shoulders and said, “As long as I get to shoot something.”

            Shepard grinned and said, “I’m sure there will be something to shoot.”

            “Good, this ship is boring,” Grunt said.

            The elevator opened again and a very nervous looking Lia made her way over to the airlock.

            “Shepard, EDI said to bring live ammo… does that mean I’m going out on the field with you?” Lia asked.

            “If you think you’re up for it. This one shouldn’t be too difficult but I’m bringing Grunt as your backup just in case,” Shepard said.

            Lia nodded her head and said, “I’m ready, Shepard. I’ve been practicing every day with Legion.”

            “So I’ve heard,” Shepard said with a smile. “Alright, let’s go.”

            The airlock opened and Shepard stepped through the second door and back out on Illium’s dock. Careena glanced towards Shepard and plastered a fake smile on her face. She didn’t bother offering another greeting as Shepard moved past her with Grunt and Lia.

            “While we’re here, you stick with me and if anyone asks you to, don’t sign anything. I mean it, don’t sign anything,” Shepard said.

            “Why not?” Lia asked.

            “Illium is known to be full of conniving people who will get you locked into a contract that could be anything from agreeing to years of indentured servitude to selling them the rights to your property. So just don’t,” Shepard said.

            “I won’t,” Lia said looking around Illium warily.

            “So what are we doing here, Shepard?” Grunt asked.

            “We’re here to find and recruit an asari Justicar,” Shepard said. “But first there are a few minor things I need to deal with.”

            Shepard made her way to where Gianna Parasini had been earlier. Her table was empty so Shepard browsed around at some of the merchant stalls while keeping an eye out for her. A few minutes later she spotted the woman coming down the stairs from Eternity. Shepard waited for her to get closer and then waved her over.

            “Hey, Shepard! How’d your meeting go? It wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with the pile of dead mercs I hear they’re hauling out of the terminals, would it?” Gianna asked.

            “Hehehehe,” Grunt laughed.

            “Ah, yeah, I guess that might have had something to do with us,” Shepard said.

            “I figured as much. That kind of thing happens a lot around you, doesn’t it?” Gianna asked.

            _“All too often”_ Jane said.

            “Not often enough,” said Grunt.

            Gianna chuckled at Grunts response before a concerned look pulled at her features.

            “You have different people with you now; the others weren’t hurt were they?” Gianna asked.

            “Nothing too serious,” Shepard said.

            “Oh, well, that’s good news. Why don’t we go up to Eternity and grab that beer? There’s someone up there I need to keep an eye on anyway,” Gianna said.

            “Sure,” Shepard said.

            They made their way upstairs to Eternity and grabbed a table while Gianna ordered drinks. Conrad was still milling about the bar and it didn’t take him long to spot Shepard sitting at one of the tables. Shepard sighed as Conrad rushed over, nearly knocking Gianna over on his way.

            “Commander Shepard?! I thought that was you!” Conrad said.

            “Conrad, hey,” Shepard said.

            “I can’t believe it’s really you, and – and you’re alive!” Conrad said sitting down at the table uninvited.

            “Uh, Shepard, friend of yours?” Gianna asked.

            “I’m Commander Shepard’s biggest fan! Look, Shepard, I’ve even got armor like yours now. Well, it’s just a replica but it really helps me get past locked doors while I’m on missions! Can you believe it?” Conrad said.

            “Uh huh. So, Conrad, what are you doing here?” Shepard asked.

            “I’m working a case, Shepard. Yeah, my sources tell me that this bar is really a cover for a red sand dealer,” Conrad said.

            “Red sand is legal on Illium,” Gianna said.

            “What? That can’t be right. Are you sure? Because my source said that if I got the deed to this place she could help me take the dealers down. I’d be a hero,” Conrad said.

            “She’s right, Conrad. Red sand is legal here; you just need a license to sell it. Sounds like your source was pulling one over on you,” Shepard said. “I tell you what. Give me some time here with Gianna we have some things to discuss. When I’m done, I’ll go with you to talk to this ‘source’ and then you can apologize to the pissed off owner of Eternity, OK?”

            “You would do that for me Shepard? I’d be working a real case with Commander Shepard?” Conrad said.

            “Sure, Conrad. We’ll work the case together,” Shepard said.

            “Wow, I can’t believe this. OK, I’ll wait for you over by the bar!” Conrad said getting up from the table.

            _“We’ve never dealt with him this way before. You’re changing things for no reason. This can’t possibly effect what happens to us in the Crucible. Why are you doing this?”_ Jane asked.

            “Jane, just because you and all of the others before me did things pretty much the same way every time doesn’t mean that I have to. I’m not you, Jane, I’m not the others. Yeah, maybe I am on some level, and maybe I would have done things just the same if I wasn’t able to hear you, but I can. You changed _me,_ Jane. I’m different now because of you. I don’t think the same, I don’t act the same, and I obviously don’t do things the same,” Shepard thought.

            Jane seemed to contemplate that in silence.

Gianna tilted her head back and laughed. Lia chuckled along with her.

            “ _What_ was that?” Gianna finally asked.

            “My biggest fan,” Shepard said.

            “He seems very… uh, very enthusiastic,” Lia said.

            “He seems like he’s been hit in the head too many times. You humans have weak skulls,” Grunt said.

            “Yeah, Conrad is… he’s something special but he means well,” Shepard said. “So what’s this job you’re working, Gianna?”

            Shepard took a sip from the glass of beer Gianna had set in front of her. Grunt had swallowed his in one gulp and sat looking at Shepard’s full glass. Lia had declined Gianna’s offer of a drink, even after being assured that Eternity was a dextro friendly place.

            “You see the asari sitting at that table behind me?” Gianna asked.

            Shepard nodded and then put a hand on Lia’s arm when she started to turn her head to look. Shepard shook her head no.

            “Sorry,” Lia said.

            “Not a big deal, Lia. We’ll work on being discreet another time,” Shepard said.

            “New on the job, huh?” Gianna asked.

            “Yeah, I guess I still have a lot to learn,” Lia said.

            “Don’t worry, kid, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it. You’re working with one of the best, after all,” Gianna said. “So, anyway, that asari we think she has been smuggling schematics off of Noveria. She’s a merchant, works one of the stalls downstairs. I followed her up here on her break, nothing better to do.”

            “So why don’t you just have her arrested?” Lia asked.

            “Or shoot her?” Grunt asked.

            “Not really within my jurisdiction. I have no power on Illium. But we leaked a faulty schematic hoping to catch her. If I can catch her trying to sell or use the schematic I’ll have all the evidence I’ll need to put her out of business,” Gianna said.

            “Anything I can do to help?” Shepard asked.

            “Hmmm. Maybe. If you can get her to show you the schematic,” Gianna said.

            “Let me deal with this thing with Conrad and I’ll see what I can do,” Shepard said.

            “Hey thanks, Shepard. I’ll have to owe you another beer,” Gianna said standing up from the table.

            “No problem, Gianna,” Shepard said.

            Shepard watched as Gianna left the bar and slid the rest of her beer over to Grunt before waving Conrad over. Grunt downed the beer and stacked the empty glass inside of the first one. Shepard stood up from the table when Conrad rushed over.

            “Alright, Conrad, who is this source of yours?” Shepard asked.

            “She said she was an undercover cop, I’ll take you to her,” Conrad said.

            Shepard let Conrad lead her out of the bar and down to the kiosks on the main floor. Conrad stopped Shepard, putting a hand on her shoulder and leaning his head uncomfortably close to hers while he pointed across the trade area towards an asari next to a weapons kiosk.

            “Alright, go talk to her Conrad. I’m right behind you,” Shepard said.

            “What do I say?” Conrad asked.

            “You tell her that you know she’s not really a cop and you don’t appreciate being lied to,” Shepard said.

            “Good, yeah, OK, I can do that,” Conrad said strutting towards the asari.

            _“She’s going to fling his ass across the trade floor,”_ Jane said.

            “Nah, I’ve got his six. He’ll be alright,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard followed after him, glancing over her shoulder to make sure that Grunt and Lia were staying close. Conrad came to a stop in behind the asari and tapped her on the shoulder. They came to a stop a few feet behind Conrad.

            “Oh, Conrad. Hi, how’s the case coming? Did you get the deed? I really want to help you take down that red sand dealer,” the asari said.

            “You’re not really a cop and I know red sand is legal on Illium. Listen lady, I don’t know what you were trying to pull but I don’t like being lied to! You see that woman over there? That’s Commander Shepard. She’s a Spectre and my friend. She doesn’t like you lying to me either, OK? So you should apologize before you piss her off,” Conrad said.

            The asari looked over at Shepard and Shepard raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms. She glanced to the side and took in Grunt standing next to Shepard. Grunt gave her a toothy grin and cracked his knuckles. The color drained out of the asari’s face. She looked back to Conrad and smiled.

            “Right, I’m sorry Conrad. That was a very terrible thing that I did, it won’t happen again,” the asari said.

            “Alright, good. I’m glad we cleared that up,” Conrad said. “So, um, I’m going now. You stay out of trouble and don’t lie anymore!”

            Conrad turned back to Shepard with a silly grin plastered on his face.

            “Did you hear that, Shepard? We did it; she apologized and said she wasn’t going to do it again!” Conrad said.

            Shepard patted Conrad on the shoulder and said, “Excellent work, Conrad. But you know, now that I’m back I can take care of these things from here, OK?”

            “Yeah, sure but if you ever need any help you know you can count on me, Commander Shepard,” Conrad said.

            “I do, thanks, Conrad. Why don’t you head on up to the bar. I’ll meet you up there in a few minutes and we can apologize to the owner for the mistake, OK?” Shepard said.

            “Sure, I’ll buy you another beer!” Conrad said before walking back towards Eternity.

            Shepard watched until Conrad disappeared up the flight of stairs before she moved over to the asari.

            “Listen, I don’t want any trouble. It was just a joke, really, I didn’t expect him to take it so seriously,” the asari said.

            “No, you listen. You knew damn well what you were doing. It doesn’t happen again. Ever. Am I clear? Because if I’m not perfectly clear I’m sure I know a couple of detectives on Illium that would be interested in knowing that you’re impersonating a police officer,” Shepard said.

            “No, no don’t do that. We’re clear. I got it, really,” the asari said.

            “Good,” Shepard said.

            Shepard walked away and went to the next kiosk, taking her time flipping through the kiosks menu before moving over to the next. When she got to the kiosk with the asari Gianna pointed out she browsed the kiosk until the tipsy asari realized she was standing there. Jane supplied the asari’s name, Hermia, and Shepard decided to just let Jane’s memories drive the conversation.

            “Hey there! You sure look like someone who uses the best equipment. If you see anything you like or have any questions, feel free to ask! My store has the best tech and biotic equipment on Illium,” Hermia said.

            “Is everything here so expensive? I’d planned to drop a lot of credits here today,” Shepard said.

            “Really?” Hermia asked.

            “I’m outfitting a team for a dangerous mission. I need the best and I’m willing to pay for it, as long as you work with me,” Shepard said.

            “That’s awesome, I can totally give you a preferred rate and when I get special items in I’ll share them with you,” Hermia said typing on the kiosks console.

            “She isn’t responding the same way as you remember,” Shepard thought.

            _“She isn’t usually drunk. I’ve never put off helping Gianna with this before, or met her up in the bar so, I don’t know, just stick with it. She seems to be taking the bait,”_ Jane said.

            “What kind of special items are we talking about?” Shepard asked.

            “Oh I get all kinds of things in, schematics, designs. It’s all legal stuff. I’m supposed to have special licenses to sell them so I don’t put them on the main kiosk,” Hermia said.

            “Do you have anything else? Anything not listed on your main merchandise kiosk?” Shepard asked.

            “Shhh, yeah, I’ll show you this one thing. It’s very advanced, it’s not even publicly available yet,” Hermia said.

            _“And there you go,”_ Jane said.

            Gianna left the table she had been sitting at while listening in on the conversation and walked over.

            “That’s because it’s still on development on Noveria and illegal for export. Hello, Hermia,” Gianna said.

            “Parasini? Wait what is this? You set me up? Ha, well the joke’s on you, Parasini. This is Illium, you can’t arrest me here,” Hermia said.

            “Ahhh, Hermia. You had a little too much to drink there on your break, didn’t you? That’s OK, I’ll speak really slow so you can understand. Fines, Hermia. More fines than your little blue ass can handle and still stay in business,” Gianna said.

            “I’m going to talk to my lawyer. I’m going to fight this, Parasini!” Hermia said walking off.

            “Talk fast, Hermia. When the fines hit, you won’t be able to afford him,” Gianna called after Hermia.

            Gianna turned back to Shepard and with a smile said, “Ah that was satisfying. Alright, I’ve got paperwork to do now. Thanks again, Shepard.”

            “Sure thing, Gianna,” Shepard said with a wave.

            Shepard left Gianna to her paperwork and made her way back up to Eternity to wrap things up with Conrad. She found him sitting at a table with a quarian and a turian. Shepard picked up on the annoyed expressions and vocal tones of the turian immediately. The quarian, however, seemed greatly amused by Conrad’s stories about all of his exploits.

            Shepard put her hand down on Conrad’s shoulder and the man jumped, turning his head to look at Shepard. The turian looked at Shepard, fluttering his mandibles as he rolled the new scent around on his tongue. She wasn’t sure if it was the smell of her wounded shoulder or Garrus on her that interested him.

            “Conrad, why don’t we leave this gentleman and his lady friend alone and go take care of that apology, hmm?” Shepard said.

            “Oh, but Shepard, I was just telling them about the time that I saved the keeper on the Citadel from –,” Conrad said.

            “Conrad, these people are trying to enjoy their drinks in peace,” Shepard said.

            “Oh he’s not bothering us, his stories are really funny,” the quarian said.

            Lia snickered behind Shepard, drawing the attention of the quarian who waved at her. Shepard glanced at the turian whose brow plates had furrowed and forced down a smile. It was really hard not to be amused by his attempts to win the affection of the quarian who so expertly shot down his every try. Her responses always made it seem like maybe she didn’t understand what he was hinting at, but Shepard being a woman who had found herself in the same position more times than she could count knew better.

            “Yeah, but we really should go. We’ve got something to take care of, don’t we, Conrad?” Shepard said.

            “Commander Shepard’s right. Sorry you guys, but we have to wrap up a very important case,” Conrad said standing from the table.

            “Bye, Conrad,” the quarian said.

            “Yes. Bye, Conrad,” the turian said.

            Shepard threw a credit chit down on the table and said, “Have a round on me.”

            She led Conrad back over to the bar and waited for the asari bartender to acknowledge them.

            “Hi, could you get the owner for us? Conrad here would like to apologize to her,” Shepard said.

            “Sure, give me just a second to get that table their drinks first,” the asari said.

            “Take your time,” Shepard said watching the asari work.

            A few minutes later and the owner came out of the back room and stopped in front of Conrad with her arms crossed and a pissed off glint to her eyes. Conrad rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. Shepard nudged him forward.

            “Right. I wanted to apologize for the inconvenience, ma’am. It turns out that I was acting on false information. The situation has been handled and you won’t have any further problems,” Conrad said.

            Shepard’s lips twitched. That actually sounded rather professional. She was almost proud of Conrad. The asari wasn’t as impressed.

            “What false information could you have to make you act like a complete asshole?” the asari asked.

            “Uh, well, she said she was an undercover cop and I – I thought I was helping. I’m sorry,” Conrad said hanging his head.

            Shepard moved to stand beside Conrad and said, “Conrad was misled into believing that Eternity was a front for a red sand dealer. He didn’t know that red sand was legal on Illium. The asari convinced him that if he got the deed to this place, he’d be helping her to bring down criminals.”

            “So he’s an asshole and stupid,” the asari said.

            “Alright. Conrad, you did your job, you apologized for your actions. You’re done here. I’m going to have a conversation with the owner here and then I have to get back to work. Try to stay out of trouble, Conrad. I’ll see you around,” Shepard said shaking Conrad’s hand.

            “Thanks, Commander Shepard!” Conrad said his smile returning as he walked away.

            “Listen, lady, I know that Conrad was making an ass out of himself and he’s caused you a lot of stress but give the guy a break. Clearly he isn’t the brightest but he’s got a good heart and was unlucky enough to think that Illium was a good place to visit,” Shepard said. “I don’t have to tell you what Illium will do to a guy like that.”

            The asari sighed and said, “OK, OK, but anymore of his crap and I’ll have him arrested.”

            “I understand, thank you,” Shepard said.

            _“I guess that went well,”_ Jane said.

            The asari walked away and Shepard turned to Grunt and Lia.

            “You guys ready to get to work?” Shepard asked.

            “I’m always ready, Shepard,” Grunt said.

            “I think so,” Lia said.

            “Alright, let’s go,” she said.

            Shepard led Grunt and Lia out of Eternity and back down to the main floor. She paused at the staircase that led up to the office Liara should be in before taking her team through the door next to the stairs. They made their way down a hall and through another door. Shepard stopped to glance around the area. Jane’s memories filtering through showing her places, people, and conversations that took place there. Shepard walked down the stairs to her right and past the salarian talking to someone about the Kirosa family data that was left behind in the Dantius Towers when Nassana started throwing the workers out. Shepard new that meant Thane was where he was supposed to be. He was on Illium, preparing to make his move on Nassana. She would go to the towers after she found Samara. She needed to wait until after the shift workers cleared out of the second tower.

            Shepard crossed the floor and up another staircase with blue letters informing her that it led to the transportation district. The door slid open and Shepard crossed the threshold, heading straight towards Shiala. She ran through Jane’s memories and her own as she made her way to the green asari.

            “Shiala,” Shepard called out to her before the asari had spotted her.

            Shiala looked up when she heard her name called and a smile spread across her face. She ended the call she was on and stood up; taking a few steps she met Shepard.

            “Shepard, I didn’t think you would remember me. It is good to see you again,” Shiala said.

            “Well, you don’t see too many green asari, Shiala, but I wouldn’t have forgotten you anyway. How could I have?” Shepard said.

            Shiala looked down at her green hands and sighed before saying, “Yes, an unfortunate side effect… some of the colonists have been experiencing health problems. Residual effects from the thorian’s control. Some colonists are having headaches and muscle spasms. At times they’re sharing sensations similar to when they were under the thorian control.”

            “Is there anything that I can do to help?” Shepard asked.

            Shiala glanced over her shoulder towards another asari working a kiosk. Shepard followed her gaze as Jane’s memories filled in the blanks.

            “Perhaps there is, it would be appreciated. We hired Baria Frontiers to perform medical scans and provide treatment. I’m here trying to renegotiate the terms of the contract, but am finding that my diplomatic abilities are not serving me well. There were clauses in the contract – the fine print that allows them to perform invasive procedures if they deem it necessary,” Shiala said. “We didn’t realize it when we signed the contract, we wouldn’t have agreed to such procedures. But if we don’t allow the procedures, we’ll be held in breach of contract and everything we owe will be due at once. Zhu’s Hope simply can’t afford that.”

            “Let me try talking to her,” Shepard said.

            “Thank you, Shepard,” Shiala said.

            Shepard made her way over to the kiosk and the asari turned around.

            “I saw your conversation, human. You’re here to complain about the medical contracts those colonists from Feros signed. I suggest you leave. Your life is short enough. Don’t waste what time you have bothering me,” she said.

            “We both know that these tests aren’t necessary… we both know that this is something more, something personal,” Shepard said.

            “Don’t pretend to understand me, human! You know nothing about the life I have lived. You could never hope to understand. You humans think that you are something special, that you have gained some great understanding of the universe in your meager, fleeting lifespans,” the asari said. “You don’t know what it is to truly love, to truly hate. You’re all alike; humans, turians, salarians. The galaxy would be a better place if nobody but the asari had ever dragged themselves out of the primordial muck.”

            “What happened?” Shepard asked.

            “What are you talking about, human?” the asari asked throwing her hands in the air.

            “What happened to make you hate aliens so much? Who did you lose?” Shepard asked.

            “Who didn’t I lose because of you aliens? My bondmate died when the geth rebelled against the quarians and here you bring a quarian with you to try to sway me! I lost my daughters when the geth attacked the Citadel. Problems caused by aliens but asari paid for in blood!” she said.

            Lia began wringing her hands and took a step closer to Shepard.

            “Why was your bondmate on Rannoch?” Shepard asked.

            The asari hesitated before answering, “Studying the quarians. Not their technology, but their music. She loved all their art. Said they had old souls. I think that’s where my daughters got it from. Both of them loved talking with people, exploring new cultures.”

            “I’m sorry,” Lia said quietly.

            Everyone looked to Lia as the young quarian stepped forward.

            “I’m sorry that you lost your family, and I’m terribly sorry that my people played a part in that. A lot of lives were lost because of our choices, and those consequences still trouble us today. You should know, though, the quarians have not forgotten,” Lia said. “Our records may have been lost with the homeworld, but we remember. We know that what we did reached beyond us, beyond the quarians and has impacted the entire galaxy. We honor those lost because of us in the stories that parents teach their children, and the warnings that every generation passes to the next.”

            The asari sighed and tears spilled down her cheeks as she spoke, “You are but a child. What have you to apologize for, you weren’t responsible, and you weren’t even alive yet. You weren’t there.”

            “And neither were the colonists of Zhu’s Hope,” Shepard said gently. “Would your bondmate, your daughters… would they want you to do this?”

            She swiped the tears off of her cheeks and leaned against the low wall. A moment later she shook her head.

            “No, no they wouldn’t. I’ll amend the contracts,” she said before opening her omni-tool. “Here, child, I think she would want you to have this.”

            Lia opened her omni-tool and prepared it to accept whatever the asari was giving to her. The asari waved her omin-tool over Lia’s and a song began to play. A warbling male quarian’s voice, unfiltered by the mask of an enviro-suit began to fill the air.          The asari smiled before walking around Lia and over to Shiala.

            “Oh, Shepard… this is… I don’t think a single quarian has heard this since Rannoch,” Lia said.

            “It’s beautiful, Lia. I’m sure they will be delighted to hear it when you return to the Migrant Fleet,” Shepard said. “That was brave of you, Lia. To say those things to her.”

            _“Tali would love to hear that,”_ Jane said.

            “It needed to be said,” Lia said before saving the file and closing her omni-tool.

            Shepard patted Lia’s shoulder before turning them around and heading to the cab stand. She didn’t need to talk to Officer Dara, Jane’s memories told her all she needed to find Samara. Lia and Grunt would have no reason to question how Shepard knew to go to the spaceport. Shepard hailed the taxi and they climbed inside, taking the taxi to the commercial spaceport.

            When the taxi landed, Shepard opened the doors and stepped out of the cab. She glanced around the area, recognizing the volus named Pitne For. She didn’t need to talk to him either, not yet. There was only one person she needed to talk to here, Detective Anaya, and she would be in the police station. Shepard made her way over to the building, glancing down the way to the police line set up in front of the crime scene where Pitne For’s partner was murdered. Samara would be in there, but first, she had to get permission to enter.

            Shepard walked into the police station and around to Detective Anaya’s desk.

            “Spectre, you’re still on Illium? What can I do for you?” Anaya said.

            “Were you at the terminals today, too?” Shepard asked.

            “I was, you left behind quite a mess. They’re still over there cleaning it up,” Anaya said.

            “Sorry about that,” Shepard said.

            “Don’t be. You didn’t start the fight and from what I saw, things would have been a lot worse if you weren’t there to finish it. So, what brings you to my station?” Anaya asked.

            “I’m looking for the Justicar, Samara. I need her help on my mission. I was hoping you can tell me where to find her,” Shepard said.

            “Have you ever worked with a Justicar, Spectre?” Anaya asked.

            “No, but I’ve done my homework. I know what to expect,” Shepard said.

            “Hmmm. Well, if your plan is to get her out of my district, I’ll help however I can. She’s at the crime scene around the corner. I’ll send word for them to let you in,” Anaya said.

            “Thanks, Detective,” Shepard said.

            “Anaya. It’s I who should be thanking you, Shepard,” Anaya said.

            Shepard smiled and said, “Well, in that case, you’re welcome, Anaya.”

            They made their way back out of the police station and around the corner to where the blue police tape marked the entrance to the crime scene. The two asari officers guarding the scene stepped aside to let Shepard past. Shepard recognized one of them as being the asari who helped her with the civilians at the terminal shootout.

            “Commander Shepard, hello again,” the asari said.

            “Hey, how’s that salarian doing?” Shepard asked.

            “He’s got a bit of a headache but he’ll live. He whined about it for a while and threatened to press charges against you until I told him who you were. That shut him up real quick,” she said.

            Shepard chuckled and said, “Thanks for that.”

            “Anytime, Shepard. Keep your guard up in there, there are still Eclipse roaming around,” she said.

            “Will do,” Shepard said walking past the guards.

            She stopped at a console just inside the door to download a copy of an incriminating message sent between two of the shipping company’s employees. She knew it wasn’t really important, not in the grand scheme of things, and it definitely wasn’t any of her business but Shepard liked the idea of scaring the shit out of that loud mouth, rude asari over by the taxi stands.

            “Alright, guns out,” Shepard said turning away from the console.

            Grunt drew his assault rifle and nodded to Shepard while Lia fumbled with her pistol making sure the thermal clip was in place properly. Shepard gave her a minute to figure it out on her own. It was important that she learn the ins and outs of her weapon with live rounds in her hand. Lia looked up and nodded so Shepard moved them forward through another police line and down a hall way. Jane’s memories showed Shepard that the stairs leading up lead to Eclipse, the stairs leading down lead to salvage. Shepard took Lia down the stairs and pointed to the broken piece of machinery.

            “Go ahead, Lia. See what you can find,” Shepard said.

            “That one’s easy,” Lia said moving to the machine and digging around inside of it for parts and stuffing her finds in the pockets of her suit.

            Shepard took them up to the next area and put a finger to her mouth telling her team to be quiet. She crept forward until the sounds of the Eclipse giving orders to her squad floated down the hall to her. Shepard pressed her back against the wall and peered around the corner. Lia stayed behind the wall and out of sight, watching Shepard nervously. Shepard glanced back and Lia and Lia nodded her head. Shepard crouched down and scuttled to take cover behind the nearby crate. Lia pressed her back to the wall Shepard left and held her pistol tightly in her grip pointed towards the floor.

            Shepard lifted her head up and fired the first shot. The Eclipse and their LOKI mechs responded immediately sending a spray of bullets flying back Shepard’s way. Grunt moved forward to another crate and returned fire. Lia still hadn’t moved to fire yet when Shepard shot off a few more rounds. Shepard crouched back down and looked towards Lia’s location. She tapped her mic.

            “You OK, Lia?” Shepard asked.

            “There’s um, there’s a lot of them,” Lia said.

            “It’s OK, listen Lia, just look around the edge, just a little bit and choose a target. Maybe one of the mechs to start,” Shepard said.

            She waited until she saw the edge of Lia’s mask peer around the wall.

            “OK, do you have a target” Shepard asked.

            “Yes,” Lia said.

            “OK, point your gun, shoot, and then duck back behind the wall,” Shepard said.

            “Right. OK. I can do this,” Lia said.

            Shepard smiled as the young quarian stepped away from the wall and fired once at a mech before jumping back into cover. Shepard fired off a few more rounds before talking to Lia again.

            “Good, Lia, that’s good. You hit it. Just keep doing that for now,” Shepard said.

            “Got it,” Lia said and peered back around the corner.

            _“Look at her, she’s like a startled rabbit. This is going to be too much for her, Dawn. You should have started her with something smaller,”_ Jane said.

            “You do realize that I’ve gone through the exact same training as you, right? I earned the N7 on my armor; I earned the title Spectre without you. I am completely capable of helping to train Lia. You don’t even know, Lia. You had the same two conversations with her and that was it,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard turned her attention back to the mechs and mercs slowly pushing their way down towards Shepard’s team. She fired a few shots at the feet of one of the Eclipse to push the merc back. She wanted to make sure Lia had plenty of opportunity to fire her gun. Lia turned the corner and shot another mech in the chest. The mech kept moving forward so Shepard shot its legs, making it drop to the ground where it continued to use its hands to pull itself forward. Lia turned and shot at it twice before squealing when the mech exploded.

            Grunt got impatient, as Shepard anticipated and mowed down three more mechs with his assault rifle. The Eclipse threw a Warp at Grunt but it only made him laugh. Shepard fired several rounds at the Eclipse, pushing her back again. Lia turned the corner and fired at the merc, catching her in her shoulder but the mercs shields kept the shot from doing damage.

            “OK, Lia, the mercs have shields and some might have Barriers up, too. Single shots like that while their Barriers and shields are in place won’t do much. Their shields will be back up before you fire the next shot and they won’t be fazed at all. You have to get their shields down first. That takes several shots. Grunt, drop the mercs shields for Lia,” Shepard said. “Lia when Grunt says ‘go’, you shoot the merc again, OK?”

            “Got it,” Grunt said.

            “OK,” said Lia.

            Grunt fired a spray of bullets at the merc before saying, “Go.”

            Lia ducked back out and shot her pistol at the merc ducking back behind the wall.

            “Did I hit her?” Lia asked.

            “You did, but she’s still standing. Look at her again, Lia, what’s she doing?” Shepard asked.

            “She’s pulling biotic energy around her,” Lia said.

            “OK, wait a second and look again,” Shepard said.

            “Oh!” Lia said ducking back behind the wall.

            Shepard chuckled even as the biotic distortion flew over her head and towards Lia’s location. Shepard shot the merc once to keep her shields from rising again. Lia peeked back around the corner before firing at the merc herself. Lia’s shot ripped through the Eclipse’ armor and into her shoulder.

            “Again,” Shepard said.

            Lia ducked out and fired twice more. The Eclipse fell to the ground unmoving.

            “This is very different from practicing with Legion,” Lia said.

            “Yes, but you’re doing great. OK, Grunt, fire at will. Let’s clear this area and keep moving,” Shepard said.

            “Finally,” Grunt said before filling the air with bullets.

            With the area clear, Shepard moved her team forward past the dead mercs and mechs and to the next police tape lined door. The door slid open as a mercenary was thrown across the room to slam into the door next to Lia. Lia raised her pistol and Shepard threw her arm out and shook her head. Another merc stood facing off with the Justicar on the platform above. Blue biotic energy swirled around Samara’s body from crest to red-leather boot clad toes.

            “Those were my best troops,” the merc said.

            “Tell me what I need to know, and I will be gone from here,” Samara said slowly, casually circling the scared merc. “Where did you send her?”

            “You think I would betray her? She would hurt me in ways you can’t imagine,” the merc said moving to keep the distance between herself and the Justicar.

            “The name of the ship. Your life hangs on the answer, Lieutenant,” said Samara.

            The merc said, “You can kill me, but one of us will take you down, Justicar!”

            The merc raised her gun, pointing it at Samara. That was a terrible mistake on her part. Samara lashed out with her biotics, wrapping the merc up with blue energy and lifting her off the platform before flinging her through the glass to fall to the ground below. Lia looked to Shepard who still held her arm out across Lia and Shepard shook her head. A moment later, Samara ran and jumped, biotic energy flared up around her form as she took a swan dive off the platform. The energy slowed her decent and she brought her legs down to land gracefully on the floor before stalking towards the terrified merc. The merc scuttled backwards, trying to escape the Justicar to no avail. Samara caught her prey, pinning her by the throat beneath the heel of her boot.

            “What was the name of the ship she left on?” Samara asked again.

            “Go to hell,” the merc choked out, her hand grabbing Samara’s ankle.

            “Find peace in the embrace of the goddess,” Samara said before twisting her leg and snapping the merc’s neck.

            Samara glanced at Shepard before looking back down at the dead merc. Shepard put her gun away and walked into the room. Samara’s head lifted again and she stepped away from the body to move slowly towards Shepard and her team.

            “My name is Samara, a servant of the Justicar Code. My quarrel is with these Eclipse sisters, but I see three well-armed people before me,” Samara said.

            Shepard held up her empty hands, showing the Justicar that she had put her gun away.

            “I’ve come to find you, Samara, but I have no quarrel with you,” Shepard said.

            “What would bring a human, a krogan, and a quarian to seek out an asari Justicar?” Samara asked.

            “My name is Commander Shepard and I’m here to ask for your help. Collectors have been attacking human colonies, abducting the colonists and leaving with little to no trace. I’m gathering a team to take them down, and you are one of the best this galaxy has to offer,” Shepard said.

            Samara watched Shepard in silence for a moment, something she had never done before. Shepard had the uncomfortable idea that Samara was seeing something in her that no one else had seen before.

            “What is she looking at?” Shepard thought.

            _“I don’t know… maybe she can tell you’re different,”_ Jane said.

            “How could she possibly tell that?” Shepard thought.

            _“How should I know? I’m not a damn Justicar,”_ Jane said.

            “I sense the truth in what you say, and it humbles me. But I seek an incredibly dangerous fugitive,” Samara said turning and taking a few steps back towards the dead merc.

            “I cornered her here, but the Eclipse sisters smuggled her off world. I must find the name of the ship she left on before the trail goes cold,” Samara said.

            Detective Anaya walked in and towards the group gathered around the merc.

            “I wish you wish you were willing to go with the human, Justicar. I’ve been ordered to take you into custody if you won’t leave,” Anaya said.

            “I’ll help,” Shepard said.

            Samara and Detective Anaya turned to look at Shepard.

            “You will find the name of the ship for me? It is the only way that you can help,” Samara said.

            “I will. Just go with the detective peacefully and I’ll find the name of the ship,” Shepard said.

            “My code obligates me to cooperate with the authorities for one day. After that, I must return to my investigation,” Samara said.

            “I won’t be able to release her that soon unless she’s leaving Nos Astra,” Anaya said.

            “I know, and I know what will happen if you try to stop her. I’ll have the name before then,” Shepard said.

            “How can you be so certain?” Anaya asked.

            “It’s what I do,” Shepard said.

            “Find me the name of that ship and I will join you, the code will be satisfied and I will not be forced to take the life of the detective,” Samara said.

            Anaya cast a pleading glance at Shepard before leading the Justicar back towards the police station. Shepard followed them out and made her way to the volus pacing around the area with his turian guards. The guards stepped forward when Shepard approached their boss. Pitne For spun around and looked up at Shepard.

            “You were in the crime scene. Did they find anything? Is the Justicar leaving now?” Pitne For asked.

            “Oh no, the mercs are still after you Pitne For but I can stop them. I need into their base and I think you’re the man who can get me in there. You get me in there, and I get the mercs off your back and the Justicar leaves with me. How does that sound?” Shepard said.

            “What makes you think I can get you in there?” Pitne For asked, his words punctuated by the hissing sound of his ventilator.

            Shepard crouched down, putting herself on the volus’ level and said, “Do you really want me to air out your dirty laundry right here where all of these people can hear it, Pitne For?”

            “No. I guess I don’t. What do you get out of this?” Pitne For asked.

            “I need the name of a ship that the Eclipse used to smuggle someone off world. With it, I can convince the Justicar to come with me and help me on my mission,” Shepard said.

            “That’s it? That’s all you want?” Pitne For asked.

            “That’s all I want,” Shepard said.

            “Here, take the pass card. I made a copy. You should know, though, that the Eclipse sisters are all dangerous. Each one commits a murder to earn her uniform. I guess you look like you can handle it, you have a krogan with you,” Pitne For said.

            “Smart volus,” Grunt said.

            Shepard took the pass card and made her way over to the locked elevator next to the crime scene entrance. Shepard pulled out her assault rifle and checked the thermal clip while the elevator took them into the Eclipse base. They were attacked by a mech as soon as the door opened but Grunt wasted no time charging the LOKI and ripping its head from its shoulders. He looked around the room disappointed that there weren’t others.

            Shepard pressed her back to the wall next to the door and motioned for Lia to do the same on the other side. Grunt moved out of direct line of the door before Shepard slapped her fist against the door’s release. It opened into a room filled with crates and Eclipse mercs. One of the mercs grabbed a nearby crate with her biotics and flung it towards the door. The crate hit the edge of the door and burst, sending a red cloud into the air. Shepard’s suit readings began to jump, warning her that there was a toxic substance present. Shepard pulled back away from the door and motioned for Lia to do the same.

            “Shepard, scans of the chemical compound indicate that exposure to the substance will temporarily boost biotic powers. However, concentrated exposure will cause severe tissue damage. I recommend limited exposure,” EDI said her voice breaking through Shepard’s radio.

            “Yep, thanks EDI,” Shepard said before turning to fire at the nearest merc.

            “Shoot as many of those crates as you can but keep out of the clouds. I want those crates to blow on my terms, not theirs and not while we’re standing next to one,” Shepard said.

            Lia began shooting the crates that she could see from her vantage point, sending out more clouds of the toxic drug. The dense cloud was nearly impossible to see though, and the mercs had pulled back away from the clouds of Minagen X3 as well. The mechs, however, did not. Shepard heard the LOKI mechs moving in on their little room calling out their programmed warnings.

            Shepard waited for them to step past the thinning cloud before firing a spray of bullets across the mechs’ chests. Lia backed up but kept her cool and shot one of the mechs in the chest twice before it exploded. Grunt fired his gun and the second mech fell. Shepard moved back to the edge of the door, the cloud having receded enough to be safe. She could see the blue flare of biotics across the room through the red haze and pulled her trigger. The pained screams that echoed back to her let her know she hit her target. Her eyes tracked the biotic energy as she fired bursts from her gun.

            The cloud cleared enough so that she could now clearly see the Eclipse sisters across the room throwing biotics at her team. Shepard rushed into the room and through the thin haze to close the distance and get to cover. She took a couple of shots in the process, and her shields dropped just as she ducked behind a crate.

            “Lost shields,” Shepard said into her mic.

            Grunt took that as his cue to move into the room, gun blazing; keeping the mercs back from Shepard while she regained her shields. Lia crouched low to the ground and ran into the room, taking up cover near Shepard. Shepard’s shields recharged and she stood up, locking on to a target she used her biotic Charge to close the distance and slam into the Eclipse. As soon as Shepard had recovered and moved around the Eclipse, Lia and Grunt fired on the second one keeping her from closing in on Shepard while Shepard finished off the first one.

            With the room cleared they went through the next door, stopping to pick up the Scimitar Assault Shotgun lying on a desk. Shepard moved through the office to the next door just before the stairs leading up. The door opened and she stepped inside, her gun already pointing towards the desk she knew Elnora was hiding behind.

            “Show yourself,” Shepard said.

            Elnora stayed behind the kiosk.

            “Gods… you’re a damn merc, where’s your fucking courage?” Shepard asked.

            “Wait, don’t shoot, I’m coming out,” Elnora said.

            The asari in Eclipse armor stood up and moved from behind the desk, showing Shepard her empty hands.

            “I didn’t shoot, not once, I swear! Listen, I’m new I’m not really one of them. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I thought being Elnora –,” she said.

            _“Liar. I hate liars,”_ Jane said in unison with Shepard.

            “Liar. I hate liars,” Shepard said cutting the merc off.

            “I’m not lying, I swear! I only pretended to shoot!” Elnora protested.

            “Whatever. Pretend to keep breathing,” Grunt said.

            “Yes. You are. I know what you did to earn that armor, don’t bullshit me Elnora,” Shepard said.

            Elnora reached for her gun and said, “Screw that bastard and screw you!”

            Shepard fired her rifle, the sound immediately followed up by shots from Grunt and Lia. Elnora’s body jerked as each shot hit her before she fell to the ground in a pool of her own blood. Shepard turned to Lia and raised an eyebrow. The quarian shrugged her shoulders.

            “What? She was going to shoot you,” Lia said.

            “Glad to see you’re gaining your confidence, Lia. Check out that terminal over there for me,” Shepard said.

            Lia skirted around the dead body and accessed the terminal at the far side of the room. She downloaded the research on biotics and forwarded it to Shepard before stopping to get the power cells that were hidden behind the desk. They left the room and headed up the stairs to another door.

            The door opened up into a small room with a few barrels and crates; modicum sources of cover from the mercs just through the opened doorway to the left. Shepard ordered Lia to take cover by the crates edging the doorway while she moved behind the barrels out in the open. Mercs and mechs took notice and began firing, moving in towards Shepard’s location. She didn’t give them the chance to get very close. Shepard threw out a Shockwave, knocking a mech and one of the mercs over the railing to fall to the ground below. Lia and Grunt open fired on the next merc as a red cloud filled the air.

            Shepard moved into the room and past the cloud, following the walkway as it circled the perimeter of the room. Lia was feeling confident enough that she was starting to take more shots and supplement her firepower by Overloading enemies in her path. Shepard continued to push through the Eclipse base, stopping to let Lia expand her hacking skills at every terminal they found. Grunt wasn’t too pleased but Shepard knew he’d be happy enough once they encountered the gunship.

            Shepard stopped at a console to play the recording of Elnora’s confession. Elnora clearly sounded delighted in having been the one to kill Pitne For’s partner, Dakni Kur. She sounded so proud to have earned her right to be a part of the Eclipse sisters. And now, she was dead. Lia shook her head in disgust as the recording played.

            “Keelah se’lai, Shepard! I thought you said this wouldn’t be too difficult? This place is swarming with the Eclipse as crazy as Elnora… and those mechs!” Lia said.

            “This isn’t difficult, hehehehehe,” Grunt said.

            “Well, not compared to what we’re use to but she’s new to all of this, Grunt. Give her a break, she wasn’t tank grown with everything she would need to know about how to fight and kill already programed into her,” Shepard said. “You’re doing great, Lia, really.”

            “Gunships, Shepard. I saw gunships back there! Please tell me we aren’t going to have to fight against gunships,” Lia said.

            “OK, we’re not going to have to fight against gunships,” Shepard said.

            “Good… Wait. You’re lying to me aren’t you? Didn’t you just tell that mercenary that you hate liars?” Lia asked.

            Shepard grinned and turned away throwing back over her shoulder, “I’m a complex woman full of contradictions. But yeah, we’ll probably have to fight a gunship. Don’t worry, that’s why I have heavy weapons. And a Grunt.”

            “Hehehehe,” Grunt laughed.

            Shepard had Lia download the recording to deliver to Detective Anaya before pushing forward again. They moved through the rooms fighting off more Eclipse and LOKIs until they reached the area that Shepard knew meant a gunship was just around the corner. She moved across the platform and grabbed some more power cells lying at the other end. A set of stairs in the center of the platform went down a ways before leveling off; more stairs led back up to another platform across the way.

            “Lia, take cover here and stay down. I’ve got a feeling we’re about to meet that gunship,” Shepard said.

            Lia groaned and took cover. Shepard and Grunt made their way down the stairs. Half way across the level surface between stairs, the gunship rose up from behind the platform. Shepard ran up the next flight switching to her grenade launcher as she went. She wanted to keep the gunship on this side, back away from Lia who only had a pistol and a couple of weak tech skills. As soon as she had her grenade launcher out she started firing at the gunship, forcing it to back away from the platform out into open air. Shepard dove for the meager cover available knowing that the ship could still get shots in on her if it moved around.

            Grunt bellowed loudly as he peppered the gunship with his assault rifle. Shepard kept up the pressure shooting it with grenade after grenade. She took a hard hit to the chest, taking her shields down completely and knocking her back a few steps. It felt like she had been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer. She dove for cover again and continued to fire even as she fought to get her breathing right. The gunship exploded over her head, showering her with bits of burning metal and debris. She ducked her head and threw her left arm up to help soften the blows.

            When no more debris fell, Shepard rolled over sat with her back against the crates. She activated the Medi-gel dispense and called out to Lia. The quarian stood hesitantly and looked around before crossing over to the stairs. Grunt sauntered over to Shepard and offered her a hand. She took his hand and he helped pull her to her feet again. Shepard was brushing ash off of her armor when Lia rejoined them.

            They made their way across the platform. Shepard let Lia hack her way through the locked door on the other side. The girl was shaken so it took her a couple of tries but she got it opened. They moved inside and Lia pointed at a datapad sitting on the edge of a crate. Shepard nodded her head and Lia moved to the datapad.

            “It says that Pitne For sold two-thousand units of Minagen X3 and six-hundred of red sand to the Eclipse,” Lia said. “Should we keep this for Detective Anaya?”

            “Yeah, keep it,” Shepard said. “There’s another terminal for you, Lia.”

            Lia tucked the datapad away and crossed the room to the terminal. Shepard and Grunt waited by the next door until Lia rejoined them. At the end of the hall a volus stood with his back to Shepard. Images from Jane’s memories flitted across Shepard’s mind. Shepard lowered her assault rifle knowing that the volus was high out of his mind but not a threat. She walked into the hall and cleared her throat. The volus slowly turned around and seeing Shepard started his drug crazed speech.

            “I am a biotic god! I think things – and they happen! Fear me, lesser creatures, for I am biotics made flesh!” the volus said moving towards Shepard and making his biotics flare for show.

            Grunt turned his head to look at Shepard and asked, “Can I shoot him?”

            “No,” Shepard said.

            Lia started giggling behind Shepard.

            “You will regret your scandalous words! I am a great wind that will sweep all before me like a… great wind. A great biotic wind!” the volus said.

            “Can I please shoot him?” Grunt asked.

            “No, Grunt,” Shepard said. “What happened to you?”

            “The asari, they injected me with so many drugs, and yes it was terrifying. But then I began to smell my greatness!” the volus said.

            Lia lost it there and her giggles turned into laughs accompanied by the occasional snort. Shepard sometimes forgot that Lia was really still just a teenager. Her laughter was infectious, though and soon Shepard found herself chuckling before clearing her throat.

            “You laugh now, mortal as they laugh when I fall over, but you don’t know what I know in my head – that I know that I am amazingly powerful. Fear me!” the volus said.

            “Listen, Pitne For is outside. Why don’t you go meet him? I’m sure he’s worried sick about you,” Shepard said.

            “Poor Pitne For. I will, I will find Pitne For and show him my greatness. He shall worship me like the biotic god that I am. But first, I must seek vengeance on Wasea and feast on her biotic-rich blood. I will show her the true power of a biotic god!” the volus said.

            “Oh no, why bother with Wasea? She’s unworthy of your time. Really, she’s nothing but a mere mortal mercenary. Let us take care of Wasea. You should go to Pitne For and show him your greatness,” Shepard said.

            “Yes. Yes, you’re right. I will not waste my time on the likes of Wasea. Not when I have followers waiting for me to share my wisdom with them. You will take care of Wasea in service to your biotic god, and you shall be justly rewarded,” the volus said.

            _“Oh gods…,”_ Jane said.

            “Right, OK then. Pitne For is right outside waiting by the police station last I saw him. You’d better hurry, I’m sure he’s worried sick,” Shepard said.

            The volus started to wander towards the door and said, “Yes, I’ll hurry to Pitne For.”

            Shepard shook her head as the volus walked through the door.

            “I still think you should have let me shoot him,” Grunt said.

            “Come on, let’s go take care of this Wasea so we can get our just reward,” Shepard said.

            Lia snorted with laughter once more before regaining control of herself as they moved through the next room. Shepard stopped to replenish her Medi-gel supply from the medical station on the wall before opening the next door.

            The dark blue asari with tangerine markings all over her face stood across the expansive warehouse floor. As with Enyala, she didn’t wear the yellow armor of the other Eclipse but was clad in blue. Shepard supposed they saved the ugly stuff for their underlings. Wasea casually drained her glass and read from a datapad. She lifted the glass up and glanced inside before setting it down on a crate. Wasea glanced at Shepard before returning her gaze to the datapad. Shepard continued to lead her team forward, closing as much of the distance between the Eclipse leader and herself as she could before the bullets started flying.

            “Everything’s gone to hell since we smuggled that filthy creature off world,” Wasea said. “First a Justicar shows up, now you.”

            Wasea moved around the crates as she spoke. She tossed the datapad down on a crate. Shepard hated how sure of herself the merc was. Powerful biotic capabilities or not, Shepard and her team were nothing to shake a stick at.

            “At least I can take pleasure in turning your head into a pulpy mass,” Wasea said, her voice rising to a snarl as she pulled up biotic energy to grab a crate and fling it at Shepard.

            Shepard stepped to the side and the crate crashed into the wall behind her releasing a cloud of red. Wasea stalked towards Shepard, her biotics swirling around her body. Lia dove for cover and started shooting at the merc leader. Shepard and Grunt both peppered her with gunfire while moving forward. Shepard ducked down behind a crate and Grunt took the next one up from her. More mercs started to pour into the room from doors at the back of the warehouse. Shepard sent Grunt down one side while she took center. Lia stayed close to Shepard moving from cover to cover.

            Shepard used her rifle to wear down Wasea’s Barrier and shields as the biotic threw the crates of Minagen X3 around. She was trying to herd Shepard, control the battle field. Shepard had little choice but to change her position to escape the clouds. Once Wasea’s shield was down, Shepard grinned and used her biotic Charge to slam into the merc. Wasea was knocked back into a stack of crates. Shepard lifted her assault rifle and filled her full of holes before she could recover. Wasea slumped to the floor, dead.

            Shepard was about to turn her attention to the other mercs when she heard Lia’s scream. She whipped around and scanned the area quickly, spotting the quarian clutching her arm while firing her pistol at close range. Two mercs had slipped past and closed in on Lia. Shepard raised her gun and fired off a few shots at the mercs’ feet, keeping them low so as to not hit Lia. The mercs danced back and dove for cover. Shepard ran to Lia and pulled her down behind some crates.

            _“I told you this was too much for her,”_ Jane said.

            “We’ve all taken bullets, she’ll live,” Shepard thought.

            “Your suit would have closed that section off, Lia I need you to check if the bullet went all the way through,” Shepard said.

            She kept one eye on the crates the mercs dove behind while Lia worked with trembling, blood soaked fingers to feel the back of her arm.

            “It did, it went all the way through, Keelah,” Lia said with a shaky voice.

            “That’s good, it’ll make the healing easier and we won’t have to dig a bullet out of you. I’ve got Medi-gel, use your antibiotics,” Shepard said activating the Medi-gel dispense.

            One of the mercs stuck her head out of cover and Shepard rewarded her courage with a few bursts from her gun. Shepard looked back down at Lia who was still trembling but her bleeding had stopped.

            “OK, stay here Lia. This is almost over,” Shepard said.

            “No, I wanted to come with you I’m not going to hide,” Lia said.

            “Are you sure?” Shepard asked.

            Lia wiped her bloody hands off on her thighs and picked up her pistol. She turned over into a crouch and peeked over the edge of the crates.

            “Alright then. I’m going to go straight at them, draw their attention to me. You stay low and move over to those crates over there. When you see a shot, take it,” Shepard said.

            Lia nodded her head. Shepard vaulted over the crates and ran forward firing her assault rifle just to keep the mercs pinned down.

            “I AM KROGAN!” Grunt’s voice boomed off of the warehouse walls.

            Shepard reached the crates the mercs were hiding behind and glanced over to see that Lia was in place. Shepard moved around the side of the crate keeping her back to it until she could peek around the edge. Shepard flushed the mercs out of cover and right into the path of Lia’s pistol. One of them fell under Shepard’s fire just before Shepard heard Lia’s pistol ring out twice and the second merc dropped dead.

            Together, Shepard and Lia moved towards the back of the warehouse where the continued battle cries resounded from Grunt. He had taken care of all but two of them and they were currently playing cat and mouse. Grunt charged one and they ran away while the shot at him from behind. Shepard raised her assault rifle and returned fire on the merc at Grunt’s six. Grunt, either tiring of the game, or realizing that Shepard was watching him, stopped chasing after the asari and shot her instead.

            They checked to make sure the area was clear before moving into Wasea’s office. Shepard sent Lia to hack the terminals and to look for anything else of value while she headed to Wasea’s desk. Shepard found the datapad with the name of the ship that Samara was looking for. If not for the field experience it gave Lia, Shepard would have a major headache from the waste of time. Things would be so much easier if she could have just told Samara that Morinth, her Ardat-Yakshi daughter was smuggled away from Illium on a ship called the AML Demeter and that she was hiding out on Omega now. Of course, the datapad didn’t say anything about Omega, or call Morinth by name. It didn’t even call her an Ardat-Yakshi but Shepard new all of this just the same. Sure, her coming in here did a favor for the Illium Police by cleaning out the mercs and collecting evidence on Pitne For and Elnora but they would have eventually found all of it on their own.

            Lia returned and they made their way back through the Eclipse base, stepping over dead mercs and busted up mechs as they went. Shepard spotted the great biotic wind standing next to Pitne For in front of the police station. The drugged volus sounded like he was coming to his senses. Pitne For tried to stop Shepard on her way through to the station, but she pretended not to notice him. She wasn’t going to be bribed into giving him the shipping manifest, especially not right in front of a police station while trying to recruit a Justicar. She knew that some of the others had given into that temptation in other lives, and Shepard thought it was idiotic of them. They were lucky it didn’t cause problems with the police or Samara.

            Samara was sitting perched on the ledge of a low wall behind Detective Anaya’s desk. They both looked up as Shepard and her team walked in, Shepard handed the datapad with the AML Demeter’s name on it to Samara and waited while she read the information.

            “Shepard, you impress me. You fulfilled your end of the bargain, and I will fulfill mine,” Samara said stepping down from the wall and turning to the detective. “I am ready to leave immediately, if that will satisfy your superiors, Detective?”

            “You’re free to go, Justicar. It has been an honor having you in my station. And it’s nice you didn’t kill me, too,” Anaya said.

            “We won’t be leaving right away; I have some other business to attend to on Illium. We’ll go back to the Normandy first, though, Lia was injured and needs to see the doctor,” Shepard said.

            “I must be sworn to your service, so that I am never forced to choose between your orders and the Code,” Samara said.

            The irises of Samara’s eyes flared with a white light and the Justicar knelt before Shepard. This part made Shepard uncomfortable. It was awkward having someone swear themselves into her service, but even more awkward when it was someone as severe and absolute as Samara. Shepard fought the urge to tell Samara to stand up, knowing that it would be the greatest insult to the ways of the Justicar. Detective Anaya stood up from her desk to watch the spectacle with awe.

            “By the Code, I will serve you, Shepard. Your choices are my choices; your morals are my morals. Your wishes are my code,” Samara said.

            Her biotics flared out all around her body as she knelt before pulling in close, a mere sheen across her as she stood to face Shepard. The light faded from her eyes and the biotic glow faded.

            “I never thought I’d see a Justicar swear an oath like that,” Anaya said.

            “If you make me do anything extremely dishonorable, I may need to kill you when I am released from my oath,” Samara said.

            “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you, Samara. I know that this is a sacred act and I won’t dishonor you or your Code,” Shepard said.

            “Thank you, Shepard. Truly, the life of a Justicar can get lonely. I admit, I am looking forward to serving with a company of honorable heroes,” Samara said. “I am ready to leave when you are.”

            “I look forward to having you aboard,” Shepard said before turning to Lia. “I believe Lia has some information for the detective before we go.”

            “What’s that, you brought me back presents?” Anaya said.

            Lia opened her omni-tool and played the recording of Elnora’s confession for the detective as well as handed her the datapads containing the information found with Elnora’s personal log and Pitne For’s shipping manifest.

            “Hmmm. Interesting, but it would be inadmissible. I don’t have any way to verify this,” Anaya said.

            “But Shepard is a Spectre, doesn’t that give credence to her evidence?” Lia asked.

            “If it were up to me alone, but officially we’re not under Council jurisdiction here,” Anaya said.

            “Yet the word of a Justicar does. I vouch for Shepard and any evidence she brings forward,” Samara said.

            “I accept the judgement of the Justicar,” Anaya said.

            “Great, I’m ready, Samara,” Shepard said heading towards the door.

            Samara followed Shepard out of the police station and to the cab stand. While they waited for the taxi, Shepard turned to the Justicar.

            “Samara, are you familiar with Cerberus?” Shepard asked.

            “I am not,” Samara said.

            Shepard nodded and said, “I didn’t think you would be. I need to brief you on a few things before we get back to the Normandy.”

            _“We usually just give her the basics. You don’t need to tell her everything,”_ Jane said.

            “No, I want her to understand who they are. Who I am,” Shepard thought.

            Samara stood at parade rest and said, “Very well, Shepard.”

            “Cerberus is a private human organization. Once a part of the Alliance, they were officially disbanded and disavowed by the Alliance when the nature of their activities came to light. Since then, Cerberus has remained as a secretive organization focused, so they claim, on advancing humanities interests,” Shepard said. “It really isn’t that simple, though, many of their goals are to place humans above other species and in many cases at any cost. Their methods, on most things, are utterly deplorable. You would likely feel compelled to kill them all. Hell, I feel compelled to kill a lot of them.”

            “I see,” Samara said.

            “Wait, there is more to this,” Shepard said. “A couple of years ago, I was an Alliance Commander and Council Spectre. I assume that you at least heard of the attacks that happened on the Citadel during that time?”

            “I am aware, as I am aware of your role in defeating those responsible for those attacks,” Samara said. “As a Justicar, I approve of your actions.”

            Shepard smiled and said, “Thanks. Well, after the attacks on the Citadel my crew was helping to clear out pockets of heretic – sorry, geth activity. I’ll explain that later. The Normandy was attacked by a collector ship and the majority of the crew was forced to flee in escape pods as the ship was torn apart. I died, technically, during that attack and when my body was recovered it was given to Cerberus.”

            “I see, and yet you stand before me alive,” Samara said.

            “Cerberus used experimental technology to bring me back to life. They are working towards stopping these collector attacks on human colonies in the Terminus Systems. When I was – revived, I sought out the Council and the Alliance but because these attacks are happening in the Terminus Systems they are unable to take action without inciting a war,” Shepard said. “I refuse to ignore the collector threat, which left me with little option other than to agree to temporarily work with Cerberus to take down the collectors.”

            “You are working with an organization whose methods you detest in order to take down a larger threat. This must have been a difficult decision for you,” Samara said.

            “It was, it still is but it is what needs to be done. That being said, I do not and never will consider myself to be a part of Cerberus. I have made myself clear to Cerberus on this matter,” Shepard said. “I have also made it my personal mission to disabuse the Cerberus operatives that are aboard the Normandy of the notion that Cerberus is a respectable organization. Many of them have no real understanding of what the organization they work for really does.”

            “You hope to save them from their folly, guide them towards redemption?” Samara asked.

            “I do. But I know enough about people to know that not all of them can be saved. If you are still willing to work with me knowing all of this, then I must advise you to keep in mind that some of these people may not be as trustworthy as they would make themselves seem,” Shepard said.

            “If we are able to stop these attacks, what will you do?” Samara asked.

            “Then I return to the Alliance with every drop of information on Cerberus that I have obtained,” Shepard said

            “You have said nothing to dissuade me from working with you, Shepard. It is you that I am sworn to follow, and not Cerberus. I will take these things under advisement,” Samara said.

            “Good,” Shepard said opening the taxi door.


	15. Chapter 14: I Got Better

**Chapter 14: I Got Better**

            Back on the Normandy, Shepard sent Lia to see Dr. Chakwas before showing Samara around the ship. Samara took the explanation of the difference between the heretics and the geth ease and handled herself with aplomb when introduced to Legion. She remained polite but reserved through all introductions, but Shepard knew that wasn’t unusual for Samara.

            “This is strange for you, isn’t it? Being around so many different species,” Shepard said.

            “I have met few who were not asari in my life, this is true,” Samara said.

            “I’ll come by once we take off again, and you can ask me any questions you might have about any of this,” Shepard said.

            “I look forward to the conversation. Until then, I shall be in my meditation,” Samara said.

            Shepard watched as the Justicar sat in the middle of the floor facing the observation window. Biotic energy flared around her as Shepard left her to mediate. Garrus waited by the elevator when Shepard walked out of the starboard observation. Shepard paused, not expecting him to be there.

            “Hey,” she said walking down the hall towards him.

            “You’re going back out for the drell assassin, aren’t you?” Garrus asked.

            “I am. Want to come with me?” Shepard asked.

            “And here I had a speech prepared to convince you,” Garrus said.

            “Why would you need a speech?” Shepard asked.

            Garrus shrugged and said, “Well, you took me out on the first one today and it seemed like I upset you so…”

            “I’m not upset, Garrus. I’ve been… concerned about some of the ways that you’ve changed. Not because of what these things mean to me, but because of what they would have meant to you once. How you might feel about them beneath it all, I guess. There isn’t a whole lot that you could ever do that would make me stop loving you or wanting you by my side,” Shepard said.

            “I’ve come to terms with them, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            “OK, then I will, too,” Shepard said.

            “There was the other thing, too,” Garrus said.

            “What other thing?” Shepard asked.

            “Your, hmmm, your reaction to the drell. I wasn’t sure if you’d be comfortable with me being there for your reunion,” Garrus said.

            Shepard groaned and said, “You really had to remind me, didn’t you?”

            Garrus chuckled and pulled Shepard to him. She let her forehead drop against his armored chest and slipped her arms around his waist.

            “As if you’d forgotten,” Garrus said.

            _“As if we could ever forget,”_ Jane said.

            “Well it’s fine with me unless it’s weird for you or something,” Shepard said. “Is that why you want to go?”

            Shepard tilted her head back so she could watch Garrus’ eyes. His mandibles fluttered and he shook his head.

            “No, I want to go because he’s a damn assassin and you seem to be blind to that fact. I mean, you followed him into an alley and aren’t at all bothered by the fact he was watching you on the Citadel,” Garrus said.

            _“It really was a stupid move and you’re damn lucky he didn’t decide to kill you,”_ Jane said.

            “But what if that had meant the end to you being forced to relive all of this?” Shepard thought.

            _“Not if it also means that the reapers win,”_ Jane said.

            “So you mean to protect me from the big bad assassin, is that it?” Shepard asked.

            “You don’t seem willing to protect yourself when it comes to him,” Garrus said.

            “That’s because I don’t need to be protected from him,” she said.

            _“You can’t know that. We’ve always met him under completely different circumstances. You might have changed things too much with him too early for him to ever be trusting of us again,”_ Jane said.

            Garrus said, “Then humor me until I get the chance to see that for myself.”

            “I was going to ask you to go anyway. Mordin, too. We have some time to kill before we’ll take a cab to where he should be, and I wanted to speak with Mordin about some things away from the ship,” Shepard said.

            Garrus slipped his hand beneath Shepard’s hair and ran a finger down the scar at the base of her skull. Jane flinched away from the reminder of what she still felt was a betrayal.

            “That talk?” he asked.

            “Yeah,” Shepard said.

            “Hmmm. I had to tell him, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            “I know, and I’m glad you did all things considered,” she said.

            “It would have been far worse for you if he hadn’t,” Shepard thought.

            _“They should have talked to us about it all first, given us the chance to choose,”_ Jane said.

            “Maybe, but if we had refused how could they have ever known if it was a genuine refusal or a response created by the chips?” Shepard thought.

            “So when are we headed out?” Garrus asked.

            “As soon as I drag Mordin away from the lab. I thought we could grab something to eat on Illium while we talk,” Shepard said.

            “You mean I get to eat something other than dry rations or unidentifiable goop from the mess? I’ll drag him out for you, let’s go,” Garrus said.

            Shepard laughed and hit the elevator’s call button. They took the elevator up to the second deck and made their way to the labs. Mordin was busy doing something over by the collector’s tank when they walked in.

            “Mordin, get your salarian ass to the airlock. Shepard’s buying us dinner on Illium before the next recruitment,” Garrus said.

            “Suggest informality, interesting. Not the whole crew so not for purpose of morale. Turian present, not mating ritual,” Mordin said.

            Garrus looked at Shepard with a raised brow ridge. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

“Social setting. Must want to talk. Collectors? No, no, can do that on ship. STG maybe? Or… Ah. Excellent. Will be ready in ten minutes. Must finish test,” Mordin said.

            “How does he even do that?” Shepard asked.

            Mordin grinned as he moved around to the other side of the collector tank to fiddle with the machinery keeping the collector alive. Held up his empty palms and shrugged.

            “I don’t know, but maybe we can find a way to bottle whatever it is and sell it. We’d be rich overnight,” Garrus said.

            “Just meet us at the airlock when you’re ready,” Shepard said.

            Mordin didn’t respond so Shepard and Garrus left him to his experiments. Ten minutes later, Mordin joined them by the airlock and they left the ship. Once again, Careena gave Shepard a fake smile that did nothing to cover the contempt in her eyes. Shepard led them past the trade floor and up the stairs to Eternity. Bar food wasn’t the most appetizing option, but it was a good place to talk. The music from the bar would help keep them from being overheard and that was very appealing to Shepard.

            Mordin looked around the bar curiously as Shepard paid a small fee to reserve the side room. The bartender took their order at the bar and told Shepard that she would bring them their order when it was ready. Shepard chose the spot that had the best view of the door and the bar outside and sat down. She glanced up when she realized Garrus was hovering over her.

            “What?” Shepard asked.

            “I wanted to sit there so I can watch the door,” Garrus said.

            “Well, so do I,” Shepard said.

            “Yes, but my eyes are better than yours _and_ I have my visor,” Garrus said.

            Shepard pursed her lips.

            “Hmmm, and it’s not as easy for me to get in and out of these seats, I need the leg room,” he said.

            “Fine,” Shepard said with a sigh and scooted further down.

            The bench seating wrapped around half the room, taking sharp turns at the corners. In the center sat a large circular table. Mordin sat down on Shepard’s other side and watched her with anticipation.

            “Before I tell you anything, let me be clear that some of your questions I simply won’t have answers for,” Shepard said.

            _“He’s going to try to dissect us,”_ Jane said.

            “No he isn’t,” Shepard thought.

            _“He’ll want to,”_ Jane said.

            “Understood,” Mordin said.

            Shepard squirmed in her seat before she began speaking, “So, apparently… I’ve lived this life before. Thousands of times. Only they weren’t me, or well, I guess they were but not really.”

            Mordin blinked his eyes as he sorted through Shepard’s flustered beginning statements.

            “Not the whole life, I guess, it always starts for her on the same day. Gods I’m not making any sense with this,” Shepard said.

            “You did somehow sound less crazy when you told me,” Garrus said.

            “Geez, thanks. That helps,” Shepard said. “This is different. There wasn’t much chance of you dissecting me.”

            “Would never dissect you, Shepard. Not while living,” Mordin said.

            “And not when she’s dead,” Garrus said.

            “Not without permission,” Mordin said.

            “OK, so, let me just give you Jane’s perspective,” Shepard said. “Commander Jane Shepard was the first, or at least that is her recollection and I’ve seen nothing to disprove that. She was called to the Normandy for a shakedown run to a planet called Eden Prime. She was being vetted by a Spectre named Nihlus. She found him dead on Eden Prime, killed by another Spectre named Saren.”

Shepard paused when Garrus said the bartender was coming with their order. She waited for the asari to put their plates and glasses down and leave again before she continued.

“She spent the next year fighting Saren and finding out about the reapers just as I did. She saved the Citadel, just as I did. She died…,” Shepard’s words caught in her throat. “She died over Alchera just as I did and was brought back by Cerberus. She fought the collectors, spent time in prison, saved the galaxy from the reapers and died during the war.”

Shepard took a drink from the tall glass of iced tea before continuing. She kept her eyes down on the plate in front of her as she spoke.

“Only she didn’t stay dead. She woke up again, in someone else’s body. Some other Commander Shepard, on the same day that they were to report to the Normandy for the same shakedown run to Eden Prime. They couldn’t hear her, or feel her or anything. She didn’t know what was happening or why. That Shepard went through the same things and died in the war; only to wake up with Jane in a third Shepard’s body and do it all over again. It just kept happening,” Shepard said.

Shepard put a French fry in her mouth and glanced at Mordin. His expression gave nothing away, his more rapid blinking the only sign that she had just told him something that sounded completely insane.

“How many times?” Mordin asked.

“She’s lost count, a thousand at least,” Shepard said.

“Why do you refer to ‘them’ as ‘she’?” Mordin asked.

“She’s dominant, I don’t hear the others. Well, usually. I guess because she was the first,” Shepard said.

“How do they die?” Mordin asked.

“We die in a device we will call the Crucible, it is made from plans found in the prothean ruins on Mars. In order to use the device to stop the reapers, we have to make a choice. All choices lead to our death, some immediate, some… not,” Shepard said. “All of the choices put a stop to the reapers destruction, if what the Intelligence – that’s an ancient AI living in the Citadel and another story completely – if what he tells us is true. But each choice does so in a different manner and at a cost of different sorts to the entire galaxy.”

Garrus stirred beside Shepard. She hadn’t even divulged this much information to him. It wasn’t intentional, things had just been moving so fast since Cerberus brought her back and the two of them had gotten off to a rocky second start. She didn’t really know all of this before Alchera.

“What are the choices, Shepard?” Garrus asked.

“Control, Destroy, or Synthesis,” Shepard said.

 _“There’s a fourth option… you can refuse to decide. Everyone dies, the reapers continue on unhindered,”_ Jane said.

“But of course we would never do that,” Shepard thought.

Remorse flickered ever so faintly across Shepard’s mind.

“You… you did that? You let the reapers harvest everyone?!” Shepard thought.

 _“No, not I. I don’t acknowledge that one. That one is underserving to share our name,”_ Jane said.

“Good gods…,” Shepard thought.

“Shepard?” Garrus said.

Shepard snapped her head up and looked at Garrus. He seemed to be waiting for something.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Shepard asked.

“I asked how these choices worked,” he repeated.

“I’m… I’m not ready to talk about that. I’m sorry. Let’s just say that either way, I die but I presumably save the galaxy in doing so. All mass relays are destroyed no matter what,” Shepard said.

Garrus snapped his mandibles tight against his jaw and took a drink. He carefully set the glass back on the table.

“Fair enough. I won’t force you,” he said.

 _“Will you talk to him about it?”_ Jane asked.

“I don’t know. Eventually. Probably,” Shepard thought.

“Thank you,” Shepard said.

“What changed?” Mordin asked.

“I’m sorry?” Shepard said.

“What changed? The others were unaware. How are you aware?” Mordin elaborated.

“I… I don’t know. I guess there just finally enough of them to start breaking through. I started having strange experiences, visions, unexplained understandings of people, places, events. Liara… Liara found something, she called it a veil, when we joined minds. I let her go poking around in there and things got ugly. Anyway, then the buzzing sound. Gods that was annoying,” Shepard said stuffing another French fry in her mouth.

“I worked with an asari psychologist who specialized in humans, she helped me to understand what it all meant; taught me to learn to listen. Then I started hearing actual words. The communication was slow and tedious most of the time, but it was progressing. Then… as I was dying over Alchera something finally gave and the wall came crumbling down. I could hear her perfectly,” she said.

“The events are always the same?” Mordin asked.

“Mostly, there were some things that changed from life to life. But it was like – there were a handful of ways a conversation might go, someone I might choose to kill or leave alive, the order of some things like planets that I would visit varied, but the same things always happened more or less when I did. I –,” Shepard said.

“Sprits,” Garrus said cutting her off.

“What?” Shepard asked.

“You keep saying ‘I’ and not ‘they’ or ‘she’. You’ve been doing that more and more. Or sometimes you say ‘we’. I don’t... Hmmm. It’s just… like she’s slowly taking over,” Garrus said.

“That’s not happening. In fact, if anything she’s angry because she can’t. I’ve made a lot of changes since I first started to feel Jane, and she isn’t happy about some of them,” Shepard said.

“You’ve changed the pattern?” Mordin asked.

“Yeah, at first that was what Jane wanted me to do. In hopes that this cycle could be brought to an end. It’s why she fought so hard to be heard. But then… I made the choice to let myself die because I couldn’t see another option that would put me where I needed to be to fight the collectors and put an end to the reapers. We lost people we weren’t supposed to lose when the Normandy went down this time… and she says it’s my fault,” Shepard said.

She raked her hand through her hair and took a shuddering breath before she continued.

“She felt, like physically felt, my death and the procedures they used to bring me back this time and it… well, who would be completely sane after that? She fought against me for a while, trying to block my access to her memories and refusing to help me change things further but now she’s working cooperatively, if begrudgingly with me.”

“And the chips?” Mordin asked.

“No, whatever you did, she didn’t feel that,” Shepard said.

“Excellent. Will be sure to note that in file,” Mordin said. “So must find alternative method of stopping reapers.”

“That’s the idea,” Shepard said. “So, you believe all of this?”

“Would not be good scientist if weren’t skeptical. Believe you believe, willing to believe with evidence,” Mordin said.

 _“He thinks you’re crazy,”_ Jane said.

“I can tell you things about you that you haven’t told me. Like your work on the genophage modification. The Shroud on Tuchanka, you used it to distribute the genophage modification. Or your former protégé, Maelon. Or that you use to perform Gilbert and Sullivan,” Shepard said in between bites. “Your friend, Maelon, you’ll get word that he’s in trouble soon, and we’ll go to help him. And you should know that the Shroud was sabotaged after you used it, the STG were sent to make sure that if a cure was developed the Shroud couldn’t be used to disperse it over Tuchanka.”

Mordin began blinking more rapidly again. He steepled his fingers in front of his mouth, resting his elbows on either side of his plate. 

“Activities performed with STG difficult to come by, not impossible. Especially for a Spectre. Maelon’s name not classified. Gilbert and Sullivan seen by many people. Circumstantial evidence,” Mordin said.

Shepard nodded her head and said, “I thought you would say that. So, I’ll just have to show you in the field. Maybe show you some of the videos.”

 _“Gods please don’t make see those again,”_ Jane said.

“I won’t,” Shepard thought.

“What videos?” Mordin asked.

“Jane spoke through me while Cerberus was operating on me. Miranda recorded her work, she kept the videos secret because in one of them I made mention of her sister and other people that she knew. It disturbed her enough that she wanted to talk to confront me once I was awake before sharing them with the Illusive Man. Lucky for me in that aspect. I’ve since convinced her to keep them secret permanently,” Shepard said.

 _“Assuming she can be trusted,”_ Jane said.

“You’ve trusted her before,” Shepard thought.

 _“She didn’t put chips in our head before, or have those videos,”_ Jane thought.

“Intriguing. Look forward to seeing them,” Mordin said.

“Because you want to hear Jane talk or because you want an inside view of how Miranda pieced me back together?” Shepard asked with a smile.

“Both, certainly. Miranda knows all of this?” Mordin asked.

“Not exactly,” Garrus said.

“I convinced her that ‘The Prophecies of Shepard’ as she called them, were a side effect of my interactions with the prothean beacon. When this all first started, that’s what I thought they were, and the beacons did cause visions. Just of death and destruction of the prothean race at the hand of the reapers. Oh, the collectors are the product of the reapers altering protheans. I’m sure you can verify that,” Shepard said.

“Already have,” Mordin said. “Sent you message.”

“Sorry, I don’t check my messages as often as I should,” Shepard said while she checked her omni-tool for the time. “Anyway, we can talk about this more another time. We’ve got some place we need to be.”

Without further comment, Shepard led them out of Eternity and back down to the trade floor. She glanced again at the stairs leading to where she wished she would find Liara before moving on through the door beside the stairs. Normally, Shepard would have been told to speak with one of the shipping station clerks, an asari named Seryna. Shepard led them across the main floor and up the stairs to the transportation district instead. She knew where she needed to go. Shepard hailed a taxi and they took it to the Dantius Towers.

“FENIRS, LOKI, rocket drones, Eclipse, and krogan bounty hunters,” Shepard said lowering the cab to the skycar landing zone partway up the second tower. “Salarian civilians.”

She stepped out of the cab and before Garrus and Mordin could exit, she pulled her pistol and shot out the glass covered entrance. A salarian huddled behind a support column, his attention temporarily diverted to Shepard running towards him. Garrus was out of the cab and next to Shepard with his gun out when the second salarian ran into the room, looking back over his shoulder.

“Get down!” Shepard yelled.

A LOKI stepped into view and Shepard started firing. The mech turned to address the new threat, giving the two salarians the opportunity they needed to escape. Jane had never been fast enough to save them both before. A second LOKI and two FENRIS moved into the room already redirecting themselves towards Shepard and her crew. Mordin used his Cryo Blast to freeze the two FENRIS mechs who were gaining ground on Shepard and Garrus.

Garrus turned his assault rifle on the frozen dogs while Shepard focused on the LOKIs. She used her biotic Charge to slam into one, knocking it back before shooting it in the head and lighting it’s insides on fire. She heard one of the FENRIS mechs shatter as she turned to fire on the second LOKI. A moment later the mechs were all down.

“Garrus, grab that terminal in there. Mordin, there’s a medical station,” Shepard said.

She made her way to where the salarians huddled by a door and crouched down in front of them.

“My name is Commander Shepard. I’m a Spectre. It’s alright, you’re safe now. Are you hurt?” she asked.

“No… you got here just in time, thank you,” one of the salarians said.

“What’s happening? Why is she doing this?” the second salarian asked.

Shepard shook her head and said, “I don’t know. You should get out of here before more mechs arrive.”

Shepard stood up and offered her hand to the first salarian. Garrus and Mordin came over as she was helping the second salarian to his feet. The two salarians mumbled another ‘thank you’ to Mordin and Garrus as they rushed past them headed for the exit. She opened the door in front of her and turned left down the hall.

“That glass is easily breakable, keep away from it,” Shepard said as she glanced out of the glass lining the entire outer wall.

They moved quietly down the hall until it opened up into a room filled with construction materials stacked around. Shepard used hand signals to tell her team that there were enemies ahead and to seek cover before crouching low and running for cover herself. Shepard open fired on the Eclipse mercs at the other end of the room, drawing their attention and their return fire to her location. Garrus moved from his hidden position to a better vantage point before opening fire on the advancing FENRIS mechs. The mercs began to pull back, realizing Shepard wasn’t alone and an easy target. LOKI mechs moved forward, unconcerned with the danger Shepard represented and only seeing an intruder that they were programed to deal with. Shepard waited for them to get close enough together before she threw a Shockwave and knocked three of them back.

Working with Garrus and Mordin, two well, formally trained men was a breath of fresh air after her last run with the inexperienced, nervous Lia and the impatient, brutish Grunt. With Garrus and Mordin, Shepard was able to anticipate their movements, give fewer orders, and act with complete faith that they had each other’s backs. Especially Garrus, his methodology might have changed, but she still knew what to expect from him when it mattered and the two of them moved together across any battlefield like lovers on a dancefloor.

They pushed their way into the next area where the mercs had retreated, foolishly thinking that the mechs would be able to take care of the problem for them. Even with a handful more of mechs at their disposal, the mercs were easily taken care of. Garrus was particularly delighted by the open construction areas where he could maneuver a target close enough to the edge to be knocked over to fall to their death.

“Practical, saves ammunition,” Mordin said after noticing the technique.

They followed the floor plan as it rounded the open area, fighting off the mercs and mechs until they reached a door that led to a ramp. Shepard assumed that eventually a staircase would replace the ramp but for now, she preferred the ramp. It got her to the top faster. She opened the next door and used hand signals to direct her team forward and into cover.

“Hey, I think he went in here,” a merc’s voice echoed from somewhere.

 _“Good, he’s where he’s supposed to be,”_ Jane said.

Shepard put her back to a partial wall and peered around the edge. She could still hear the mercs arguing about who would go after the assassin when she fired her pistol at a LOKI. Mercs and mechs swarmed into view lining up easy targets for Shepard and her crew. They cut through the enemies in their way, letting the bodies and destroyed mechs fall where they may. Shepard felt bad for the police officers that would get called out to this scene. She’d be gone by the time they arrived, but with the two other mercenary massacres she’d already left on Illium, any detective worth their salt would know she was behind the new body count. Maybe they’d give her a metal.

Shepard kept her team moving forward through the twisting construction site until they came to the elevator door. Shepard moved right past the elevator and towards a locked door around the corner. She nodded her head down the hall.

“Garrus, there’s some stuff at that end. Mordin, with me,” Shepard said.

Garrus nodded towards the door and asked, “What’s in there?”

“Afraid I’m going to find the assassin without you? He’s not in there, but he did lock some civilians in there for their safety,” Shepard said.

“Hmmm, alright,” Garrus said before jogging down the hall.

Shepard holstered her gun and nodded at Mordin to do the same before hacking the door. The three salarians inside took a step back as Shepard took a step forward, their eyes darting between her and Mordin. Shepard held up a hand, and stepped out of the way of the door hoping they wouldn’t feel trapped.

“It’s alright; we’re not here to hurt you. You’re free to go, we’ve cleared out the lower levels but be cautious,” Shepard said.

“Thank you. We are in your debt,” one of the salarians moving for the door.

“Who locked you in here?” Mordin asked.

The salarians stopped in the doorway and looked to Mordin.

“I don’t know who he was. He’s no salarian, I can tell you that,” the second salarian answered.

“Green skin, black markings, and a red frill?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, how’d you know?” the third salarian asked.

“He’s a drell. We’re here to find him,” Shepard said.

“He saved our lives, if you find him, thank him for us,” the first salarian said.

“I will,” Shepard said. “You should hurry; I don’t know how long the lower levels will stay clear.”

The salarians nodded and moved out of the room. Shepard watched as they stayed low and ran from cover to cover, peering around the edges before moving on. Garrus made his way back up the hall with a new sniper rifle slung over his shoulder. His eyes tracked the frightened prey-like movements of the salarians as they disappeared from view.

Shepard led them back to the elevator and motioned for them to take cover before summoning the elevator and taking cover herself. She drew her shotgun and readied it with incendiary ammo while she waited. The elevator doors slid open to a krogan bounty hunter and two asari Eclipse. Shepard stood and fired a round at the krogan, ensuring his ire would be focused on her. The mercs moved out of the elevator, the asari already glowing blue as they pulled up biotic energy. Mordin and Garrus distracted the Eclipse while Shepard focused on the pissed off krogan, dancing back out of his reach as he slowly made his way towards her. She broke through his shields and kept the pressure on him, slowly tearing through his armor.

The krogan began to charge and Shepard stepped out of his way, putting him in the perfect position for her as he teetered to a stop near the edge of the construction drop off. Shepard hit him with a Shockwave and knocked him back over the edge. She turned back around to see Garrus finishing off the last Eclipse. Mordin and Garrus moved to her location as she looked down over the edge. It was too dark for her to see the bottom; she was pretty sure that even a krogan wouldn’t survive that. Shepard turned and led them back to the elevator before taking it up.

The elevator doors opened again to reveal an Eclipse merc pacing back and forth in front of a window as he tried to assure someone on his radio insisting that his team could handle it and he didn’t need reinforcements. Garrus fired a concussive shot at the merc, knocking him forward through the tower’s window.

“Garrus!” Shepard scolded.

“What? Did we need him for something?” Garrus asked.

“No, but… I wanted to do that,” Shepard said.

Garrus chuckled and said, “Next one’s all yours.”

Shepard stopped to pick up the datapad lying on the floor in front of the elevator and tucked it away without bothering to look at it, still grumbling under her breath.

“What was that?” Garrus asked.

“Information on the Kirosa family,” Shepard said.

“Kirosa family?” Mordin asked.

“Yeah, there’s a salarian looking for it. We past him just outside of the main trade floor on our way to get a cab,” Shepard said digging the datapad back out and passing it to Mordin.

Mordin looked over the salarian’s family pedigree and gave the datapad back to Shepard without comment. She tucked it away again and headed to the door on her. Her team swatted away the handful of mercs and mechs in the next room like flies at a picnic. Nassana’s voice came through a console at the back next to a ramp leading to the next floor.

“Where is everyone? Will somebody please give me a report?” Nassana said.

“Mordin, get the civilians out of there. One of them has a gun, but for the love of gods, he’s just scared so don’t shoot him,” Shepard said pointing towards the locked door beneath the ramp.

“Answer me, damn it!” Nassana’s voice said from the console.

Mordin nodded and moved to open the door while Garrus followed Shepard over to the console. Shepard opened the comm link on the console.

“It’s about time! What’s going on down there?” Nassana said.

“Patience, Nassana. We’ll see you soon enough,” Shepard said.

“What? Who is this? You think you can just walk in here and take _me_ out? Do you have any idea who _I_ am?” Nassana asked.

“Oh I’m not here to take you out, Nassana,” Shepard said.

Shepard glanced towards Mordin and saw the three salarians that were locked in that room rushing out the door. Mordin turned and jogged over to Shepard and Garrus. Shepard ignored Nassana’s continued rant and started up the ramp. Near the top she signaled for Mordin and Garrus to be prepared to take cover before moving in to fire on the first LOKI she saw. Mordin followed up with his Incinerate and the mech exploded.

Garrus moved past her to take cover behind a stack of metal sheeting before firing on the next advancing LOKI. Shepard moved forward, finishing off the mech before ducking behind a support column and edging around it to get a shot in at the Eclipse taking cover nearby. Mordin moved up and fired at another Eclipse just around the floors bend. The asari Shepard shot at returned fire, tagging Shepard in her wounded shoulder. The shot wasn’t enough to completely drop her shields but with the shoulder already wounded she felt the sting of the impact anyway.

She bit off a curse and threw a biotic Reave at the merc, following it up with several more rounds while the merc was doubled over from the Reave. Garrus moved in and took the kill shot on the merc Mordin was targeting before starting on the next. Shepard pushed forward taking out the Eclipse Garrus had just shot even as he was already turning to line up a concussive shot at the final merc. He dropped her shields and Mordin used a Cryo Blast to snap freeze her before Shepard started her Charge. Shepard slammed into the frozen merc and she shattered to pieces.

Rounding the corner, Shepard went straight for cover, her team following her lead. Eclipse could be heard talking about explosives and Mordin took that as his cue. The salarian peered around the edge, his eyes locking on the explosives being set up ahead as easily as Shepard’s eyes would have found a CO in a crowded room. Mordin targeted the tank with his Incinerate before ducking back down. They heard the sound of the tank exploding and used the distraction to move forward with an open fire clearing out the survivors.

“Rocket drones above,” Shepard said as she moved out onto the bridge and straight for cover.

“I don’t care what you do, no one gets across that bridge,” Nassana ordered over the loudspeaker.

Shepard used Shockwaves to send as many of the enemy targets over the side of the bridge as she could. She used her Charge to cross as much of the bridges surface as quickly as she could, getting her closer to the rocket drones. She knew that it would be a waste of power cells to try to take them out from that distance and if she got closer she could just use her gun. Garrus and Mordin moved behind her from cover to cover, finishing off the enemies Shepard left wounded but alive in her wake. When she got close enough she ducked down behind a stack of crates and started firing. Garrus and Mordin kept the advancing mercs off her back while she focused on the drones. A rocket blew up a crate Mordin was standing behind, knocking the salarian out of the game.

“Shit, Garrus, get that drone,” Shepard said.

Shepard got Mordin back on his feet while Garrus covered her six. With the rocket drones out of the way, Shepard moved her team up the flight of stairs to finish off the mercs at the top. She stopped outside of the door that would lead to Nassana’s office and reached for the door’s release. Her hand stopped halfway there, the first inkling of doubt nagging at her. She couldn’t help to wonder, in this moment of truth, if her interaction with Thane on the Citadel changed things for the worse. He might not trust her now, he might refuse to come. Hell, he might even try to kill her but she didn’t believe that he would. Thane didn’t enjoy killing, he killed because it was what he was trained to do. If he had assessed Shepard to be a serious enough threat to warrant killing her without a contract, she would already be dead. Shepard hit the door’s release and watched as it slid open.

Nassana paced behind her desk surrounded by three Eclipse guards. She turned to look out the window, her head turning slightly towards the sound of Shepard and her team approaching. Her guards drew their weapons, aiming them at Shepard as she continued her casual stroll. Nassana spun around.

“Shepard? But… you’re dead,” Nassana said.

Shepard heard the first hint of a chuckle from Garrus and shot an icy look his way.

“Gods damn it,” Shepard grumbled.

Shepard took a couple more steps forward and shrugged her shoulders.

“I got better,” she said.

“It’s a really good line,” Shepard thought.

 _“Thanks, we always thought so,”_ Jane said.

“And now you’re here to kill me,” Nassana said.

Shepard shook her head and said, “I already told you, Nassana. I’m not here to take you out. Though after seeing what you did to your employees, it would be the highlight of my day. But no, I’m just here for the show. This isn’t my kill.”

“What’s stopping you, Shepard? I doubt you fought your way through my defenses to stand here and patronize me,” Nassana said turning to look out her window again.

“You mean like when you hoped to convince me to kill your sister for you, thinking that I wouldn’t find out that you knew she was involved in the slave trade?” Shepard said.

“That hardly matters now, does it? You killed her before coming to see me. It wasn’t what I had planned, but it got the job done either way,” Nassana said turning around and pacing.

“You know, Shepard, the look on your face when you came to see me that day… the way you ran off as soon as you could, I was beginning to seriously think that the Council had made a terrible mistake making you a Spectre,” Nassana said. “For all of your bravado, you looked like you were going to be sick. I didn’t think you were cut out for the title, but then you proved me wrong didn’t you?”

A sound from the ceiling above caught the attention of one of the mercs. A smile tugged at Shepard’s lips as the mercs began looking around the room, moving their weapons as they tried to track the source of the sound.

“I left as fast as I could because when I looked at you I realized I was looking at a dead woman. You’re already dead, Nassana. You just haven’t accepted it yet. When I looked at you that day, I saw this very moment and in that moment, I knew exactly how you were going to die,” Shepard said.

Rage flickered across Nassana’s face as she heard the utter truth in Shepard’s words. She turned her head and started to move away from the desk, ordering her guard to check the other entrances but it was too late. Thane dropped out of the ventilation system in the ceiling. His eyes locked onto Shepard’s for a heartbeat. Then he was moving again, flowing like water as he stepped forward and snapped the neck of the merc in front of him. The next started to turn towards the sound of his partner’s grunt of surprise and was met with Thane’s palm on his back, locking him in place before Thane’s fist connected with his windpipe.

Nassana drew her gun and started to turn towards the threat, but it was far, far too late. Thane drew his pistol and fired into the chest of the last merc, at close range it tore through her shields and she fell back. Thane spun and grabbed Nassana’s forearm pulling her in closer. The gun in Nassana’s hand fired, hitting the asari merc and ending her life. Thane pressed the pistol against Nassana’s stomach. There was the briefest moment of pause. Shepard wondered what flowed through the assassin’s mind in that moment, but then when Nassana raised her head and her eyes met his’s just before he pulled the trigger, Shepard knew. He wanted her to see him clearly before she died. Jane had never pressed him for the reasons behind why he chose Nassana as his last kill. Perhaps she should.

As Nassana let out her last pained gasps, Thane holstered his weapon so he could cradle the dying woman’s body. He laid her gently back against her desk before crossing her arms, one hand atop the other, to rest on her chest. Thane took a step back and watched her breath her last before clasping his hands in front of him and bowing his head.

“What is he doing?” Garrus asked.

“Praying,” Shepard said quietly.

“He just shot a woman in the stomach at point blank and now he’s praying for her?” Garrus asked.

“No, he’s praying for himself,” Shepard said. “Prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken.”

“Hmmm. What?” Garrus asked, confused.

“His words,” she said.

Thane raised his head and clasped his hands behind his back. He watched Shepard in silence for a moment, the lights filtering in through the window at his back distorting his features from her scrutiny.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t be here,” Shepard finally said.

“It is where I am meant to be,” Thane said.

Thane began to walk around the desk, Garrus and Mordin raised their weapons to track his movements. Thane continued to move around the desk and towards Shepard unconcerned.

“Put them away,” Shepard said.

“Shepard…,” Garrus said.

“I’m not asking you to trust him, Garrus. I’m asking you to trust me,” Shepard said.

Garrus put the weapon away with a growl. As the noise rose from his chest, Thane’s head tilted slightly. His eyes began to move rapidly as if seeing something that wasn’t there. Shepard recognized the expression, she knew what was about to happen.

“I follow her to a bar. She takes a seat next to a turian; he turns in his seat towards her. His body language speaks of familiarity. She orders a drink. I circle through the crowd and step into the shadows nearby. He breathes heavily of the air around her. ‘Sprits, woman what am I smelling on you?’ he asks. She brings the glass to her lips and lifts a shoulder. ‘Drell,’ she says,” Thane said.

 _“Of course he was there. He heard the two of you speak about your attraction to Thane, and Garrus’ threats. He heard all of that. He heard my name,”_ Jane said

Shepard groaned, recalling the nature of the conversation herself. Garrus growled again and took a step forward; Shepard threw her hand out, smacking her palm against his chest. The movement pulling Thane from his eidetic recollections

“Garrus, stop. We already knew that he’s followed me before. It was my fault. Just calm down,” Shepard said.

“My apologies,” Thane said to Garrus.

“For what? Threatening to break her neck? Stalking her across the Citadel? Eavesdropping on a private conversation? Or just for rubbing it in her face now?” Garrus asked.

“Damn it, Garrus. Don’t antagonize the assassin. Drell have perfect recall, and sometimes when a memory is triggered, if it’s a strong enough memory they just kind of slip into it again,” Shepard said.

Garrus crossed his arms and said, “Fine. So what triggered the memory?”

“You growled at her as you did that day,” Thane said gesturing at Shepard.

“I didn’t growl _at_ her. I growled _because_ of her; she’s a very frustrating woman,” Garrus said.

“Indeed,” Thane said clasping his hands behind his back.

“An agreeable statement,” Mordin said.

Shepard sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before returning to parade rest.

“Krios, when we first met; I told you why I would be here today,” Shepard said.

Thane turned away from Shepard and took a few steps towards Nassana’s desk. He watched the skycars move by through the window before he finally spoke again.

“Yes. The collectors are abducting human colonists. You intend to stop them and wish for my aid,” Thane said. “I assume you have considered the risks of such an endeavor.”

“I know the odds are slim, and I know that it must be done regardless. And I know that you are sick and dying. The thought of this being a one way trip isn’t a deterrent for you. Will you join us?” Shepard asked.

 _“Maybe_ you _should stop antagonizing the assassin,”_ Jane said.

Thane glanced over his shoulder at Shepard and said, “You appear to know a significant amount about me, Spectre.”

“I’m sure by now you know far more about me,” Shepard said.

“Not as much as I find I would like to know,” Thane said turning back to the window. “Yes, Shepard. I will join you.”

“Fantastic. Then we should get out of here before this place is swarming with police,” Garrus said.

“Indeed,” Thane said turning back to the group.

Mordin began to open his omni-tool stepping towards Thane.

“Mordin, your scans can wait until we’re back on the Normandy,” Shepard said.

“Want to be sure nothing contagious,” Mordin said.

“It’s Kepral’s Syndrome,” Shepard and Thane said in unison.

“Ah. So not contagious,” Mordin said closing his omni-tool.

“You don’t have to sound so disappointed,” Garrus said.

“Only rare opportunity to study drell physiology. Kepral’s syndrome already well documented. No cure found. Perhaps future project. After collectors,” Mordin said.

“Just remember our agreement; permission is required before running any experiments on myself or anyone else on the ship,” Shepard said leading them back to the skycar.

“Of course. Won’t happen again,” Mordin said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 15: Existential Crisis

**Chapter 15: Existential Crisis**

            Shepard stopped inside of the airlock and started removing her armor.

            “Seriously, I don’t know how you wear that around the clock,” she said to Garrus.

            Garrus chuckled before helping her with the clasps, sliding the breastplate away from her chest.

            “Not everyone in the galaxy can be as good as a turian,” he said.

            “Garrus, you don’t even consider yourself to be a good turian,” Shepard said working on her greaves.

            “Which makes you all the more adorable for trying so hard,” he said.

            “Alright, Vakarian. Don’t make me hand your metal plated ass to you,” Shepard said.

            “Hmmm. I’ll make your –,” Garrus said before he glanced at Thane. “Ah, right.”

Shepard smirked and led them towards the galaxy map.

            “Give me a second, I want to get us off of Illium,” Shepard said.

            Mordin had returned to his labs the second they passed through the Normandy’s airlock. Shepard wondered what the salarian was thinking about everything she told him but now wasn’t the time to ask. Garrus stood behind and to the side of Thane, still watching him warily as Thane waited with his hands behind his back. He seemed disinterested in the ship and crew as she moved him throughout the Normandy. Shepard knew that he was taking in and cataloging everything his eyes saw, though, and would likely spend some time in the night stalking the ship to gain familiarity. Shepard set her armor down beneath the laptop next to the galaxy map. She entered the coordinates for the Citadel and stepped back from the map.

            “Do you want the full tour?” Shepard asked.

            “I do not believe that will be necessary,” Thane said.

            “Going to wait until half the crew is asleep and figure it all out yourself?” Shepard asked with a smirk.

            _“Why must you antagonize him?”_ Jane asked.

            “I’m not antagonizing him. I’m just talking to him, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            Thane’s only response was a slight twitch of his lips.

            “Alright, well I’ll give you the abbreviated version,” Shepard said turning to point towards the cockpit.

            “The cockpit is that way, obviously. The pilot’s name is Joker. Joker say hi,” Shepard said.

            “Hello Mr. Assassin, sir. Please don’t kill me in my sleep, sir,” Joker said over the comm.

            “Joker!” Shepard said.

            _“Joker!”_ Jane echoed.

            “What? I’m just saying,” Joker said.

            “Maybe if you don’t want the assassin to kill you, you should try not being an ass,” Shepard said.

            “So you prefer being killed while you’re awake? Just so we’re clear. I haven’t forgotten about the elevator,” Garrus said.

            “Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” Joker replied.

            “Alright, so anyway, before we scare the nice assassin away with the sheer level of unprofessionalism we’ve shown him so far, let’s move this along,” Shepard said glancing at Thane.

            He gave her a slight smile and a nod encouraging her to lead the way.

            _“He’s never going to take you seriously if you can’t demand respect from your crew,”_ Jane said.

            “My crew respects me just fine. Joker gave you shit, too,” Shepard thought.

            _“Yeah, in private discussions. You’ve turned this ship into a playground,”_ Jane said.

            “What is your problem?” Shepard thought.

            _“Thane is a serious person. So is Samara. Do you really expect them to be comfortable with the way you’re running things around here?”_ Jane asked.

            “I don’t know, but I guess we’ll find out,” Shepard thought. “I need things to be a little less serious. It’s the only way I’m not committing myself to a psych ward so lay off.”

            “You’re standing in the CIC, clearly. That’s Kelly Chambers over there; she’ll likely want to talk to you at some point,” Shepard said pointing at Kelly who waved enthusiastically in response.

            Thane bowed at the waist and dipped his head to Kelly who blushed like a school girl and giggled. Shepard rolled her eyes and Garrus chuckled.

            “Tech labs, that’s where Mordin can usually be found, armory is Jacob’s station. You can pass through either room to get to the comm room, that’s where mission briefings will be held. EDI, why don’t you introduce yourself?” Shepard said stopping next to EDI’s access node by the elevator.

            EDI’s blue hologram popped up in front of Shepard.

            “Welcome, Mr. Krios. I am EDI. That is short for Enhanced Defense Intelligence. You may access any of my nodes spread throughout the ship to gain information on any specific area. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will do my best to provide you with an answer. I have unlocked the door to the life support systems. Shepard has informed me that you would be the most comfortable in the drier air of the life support,” EDI said.

            “EDI, you didn’t really need to tell him that,” Shepard said.

            _“She’s still shackled. She doesn’t fully get the intricacies of private conversations,”_ Jane said.

            “She gets far more than what you think. Then what anyone thinks,” Shepard thought.

            _“What makes you so sure?”_ Jane asked.

            “Because I’ve actually been paying attention. Having actual conversations with her and treating her like a person. You didn’t really do any of that until after her shackles were removed, and even then not really until she had a body,” Shepard thought.

            “My apologies, Shepard. You seemed –,” EDI began to say.

            “EDI! I will mute you,” Shepard said.

            “Of course, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “Ah, an AI. My thanks,” Thane said to EDI.

            “Of course, Mr. Krios,” EDI said and the blue hologram disappeared.

            Shepard hit the elevator call button a little harder than necessary.

            “Yeah, OK, so I’ll take you to the life support so you can settle in,” Shepard said.

            “The accommodation is appreciated,” Thane said.

            Shepard shrugged a shoulder as the elevator door opened. She stepped inside and turned around next to the console. Thane followed her inside with Garrus at his heel. Shepard was pleased to see that Thane was coolly accepting of Garrus’ self-assigned guard duty for the time being. The doors closed as Kelly started gathering up Shepard’s discarded armor.

            “The top floor is occupied solely by the captain’s cabin. The third floor is where we’ll be going. The fourth is where engineering is located. A few people you will be working with on missions are also located on that floor. Jack is beneath engineering, Zaeed is in the in the starboard cargo, and Grunt is in the port cargo,” Shepard said.

            The elevator slid open and the three stepped out. Shepard turned to point past the elevators and said, “The med bay is just around this corner, our doctor’s name is Dr. Karen Chakwas. Legion is in the AI core at the back of the med bay. Lia is usually either with him or with the doctor,” Shepard said.

            “She’s been spending a lot of time with Kasumi lately as well,” Garrus offered.

“I see, good to know. Miranda Lawson can be found around this corner. Mess is between the two, and the main battery is at the back past the hall with the cryo pods. Garrus and Grundan Krul are usually found there.”

            Shepard glanced at Garrus and he fluttered his mandibles.

            “I’d better get back to my station, I’m sure hmmmm, things need calibrated,” Garrus said walking away.

            Shepard turned and led Thane to the life support door before stopping just outside to point down the hall.

            “Kasumi Goto is in the port observation; Samara – we just picked her up on Illium today as well – she’s in the starboard observation. Opposite life support, just over there are the crew quarters. Restroom is behind us,” Shepard said.

            Shepard touched the door release and when the doors slid open she gestured inwards toward the room. Thane didn’t move so she glanced up at him. He watched her expectantly.

            “Of course. You want me to enter first. Right,” Shepard said.

            _“You know, I’m just saying that I know these people. I know how they think, what they find appealing and what they don’t. I get that you’ve changed and aren’t the same as us anymore but that doesn’t mean that they have,”_ Jane said sounding as irritated as Shepard felt with her.

            “I’m allowed to have my own relationships with these people. Interact with them in my own way. I don’t have to do things the way you did them. Hell, wasn’t that the point?” Shepard thought.

            _“No, it wasn’t the point! The point was for you to figure out why this is happening and stop it from continuing. Change what had to be changed to prevent it from happening again. The point was not for you to run amok making a mockery out of my life!”_ Jane said.

            “This isn’t your life! It’s my life. Do you get it? _My_ life. I’m not just some… distorted copy of you, Jane. I don’t exist just so that you can carry on in this world relieving your moments of glory and failure. This is my life… and you’re the interloper,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard came to an abrupt stop in the doorway as the argument grew heated with Jane. Thane waited patiently behind her until she realized she was standing there like an idiot. Shepard mumbled an apology and walked into the life support room. She was alone with her back turned to the assassin for the first time since she met him on the Citadel. A flurry of emotions bounced around in her skull; half hers and half Jane’s. Shepard distracted herself by opening her omni-tool and scanned the room until she could calm herself. Thane passively watched her as she moved about the room digging out the few bugs that were tucked in crevices. He stood just past the narrow entryway, effectively blocking the exit.

            Shepard set the handful of devices down on the table next to the observation window that looked out over the drive core. She glanced up at him as she began shutting down each of the small listening devices and setting them in a new pile.

            “I’m sure you have questions,” Shepard said looking back at the table.

            “Indeed,” Thane said.

            His voice was right next to her and she hadn’t heard him move. Shepard’s muscles twitched, and she dropped the button-sized device. It clattered to the table, bouncing and rolling off onto the floor. Shepard watched as Thane crouched to retrieve the device. He stood back up, no more than two feet away from her holding the bug between thumb and forefinger. He twisted the bug around in his dexterous fingers, flipping it upside down and side to side before extending his hand to Shepard.

            Shepard found her mouth had gone dry. She licked her lips and opened her palm. Thane placed the bug in her hand before clasping his behind his back once more. Shepard deactivated the device before setting it down and picking up the last one.

            “Thanks,” she said.

            “Why have you decided to remove them?” Thane asked nodding towards the bugs.

            “It wasn’t my call to put them up,” Shepard said shutting off the last one and setting it next to the others. “Cerberus put them in place before they put me on the ship. I’ve been removing them as I go. No one else has been in here since I’ve been aboard, and the door’s remained locked. Wasn’t a reason to sweep the room until now… you might want to check it again periodically.”

            “Of course,” Thane said.

            Shepard motioned at the chair Thane normally occupied in Jane’s memories.

            “If you want to sit down, I’ll see what answers I can give you,” Shepard said.

            He didn’t even look at the chair. He kept his penetrating, darkened eyes focused on hers.

            “I would prefer to stand for now, if you don’t mind,” Thane said.

            Shepard pursed her lips and asked, “Watching my pupils?”

            “Yes,” Thane said.

            “What, not going to wrap your hands around my throat this time? I’m almost disappointed. I guess I’m not as scary as I thought,” Shepard said.

            “I can, if you would prefer. However, I would hate to give your turian friend a reason to decide he needs to… I believe his words were ‘rip his throat out’,” Thane said.

            Heat started to rise up in Shepard’s cheeks and she rubbed at the back of her neck.

            “Yeah, this isn’t going to be awkward at all,” she muttered to herself.

            The corner of Thane’s mouth rose in a slight smirk.

            “Gods… you find this amusing. Fantastic,” Shepard said.

            “Your attraction is… flattering, his response is amusing,” Thane said.

            “Ahhh… yeah… do we need to talk about that? Because I am totally fine with pretending it never happened,” Shepard said.

            “Of course not. I did not intend to make you uncomfortable,” Thane said.

            Shepard searched his eyes, her own narrowing.

            _“There, right around the corner of his eyes. Do you see it?”_ Jane asked; her anger eased.

            “Yeah,” Shepard thought.

            “Mmmmmm… yeah you did,” Shepard said. “That’s OK, I get it. I acted pretty crazy following you on the Citadel and everything. You’re still trying to understand my behavior and until you make sense out of it, you’re not going to trust me. Until then, it works in your favor to keep me off balance… and I handed you the perfect tool to use.”

            “An astute observation,” Thane said dipping his head. “I have learned a significant amount about you in the time since that day. I have found nothing that provides an adequate explanation.”

            Shepard turned her head to the observation window. The blue white energy spun and pulsed across the surface of the drive core emitting a faint hum that could be heard and even felt in the room. She crossed her arms and leaned her hip into the table before turning back to face him again.

            “I gave you an explanation. In the simplest way that I could. The first person I ever told so easily… I guess I thought… never mind, it was my mistake,” Shepard said.

            Shepard’s eyes stung with the threat of tears.

            “What the fuck is wrong with me?” Shepard thought.

            _“What did you really expect?”_ Jane asked.

            “I don’t know… I obviously didn’t think that whole thing through, now what the hell do I tell him?” Shepard thought.

            _“The truth? Seems like you’re letting everyone in on it anyway,”_ Jane said.

            “Will he even believe it?” Shepard thought.

            Shepard got the distinct impression that Jane had just shrugged. Shepard pushed her palms into her eyes, pushing back even the thought of tears. She turned her attention back to Thane and listened intently as he started to speak.

            “Once a soul has gone to the sea, it rarely leaves Kalahira’s realm. The teachings do speak of these things, on occasion. When there is great need, a great strife in the world, the soul of a warrior or a healer might be called upon to serve once more,” Thane said quietly.

            _“Could it really be?”_ Jane asked.

            “The soul is given to Arashu and placed into a new vessel, where it must grow and endure the hardships of the flesh once more. Forgetting who they once were and the life they lived before. Only knowing a longing to return to a home they cannot recall. Until the time has come and the soul has served the purpose it was called upon to serve. Only then will it return to the sea,” Thane said.

            _“But we never forget… and we don’t grow… I don’t understand,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard wrapped an arm around herself and used it as an elbow-rest for her other arm. She traced a finger back and forth across her lip in thought as she considered Thane’s words. Weighing them against Jane’s experience – against her experience. They lacked that distinct ring of truth that she was hoping to find.

            “The teachings do not say that they will live the same life as before, as you suggested that day,” Thane said after a pregnant pause.

            Disappointment flooded Shepard, and echoed back to her from Jane. Thane studied her as she went from caressing her lip to chewing on her fingernail. Finally, Shepard let her hand drop from her mouth and locked her eyes on Thane’s, hoping he would see the truth in her eyes.

            “I don’t know what else to call it,” Shepard said. “I was… I think I was hoping you could tell me.”

            That seemed to catch Thane by surprise. A look crossed his face that in all of Jane’s memories Shepard had never seen there before. His brow shot up and his eyes bulged, his lower jaw dropping ever so slightly parting his lips and revealing the row of white teeth behind them. Shepard shook her head and raked her hands through her hair.

            “I sound like an idiot. I should… I should go. Let you get settled in, meet the crew, whatever,” Shepard said stepping around Thane.

            She was halfway to the door when the drell recovered and turned towards her.

            “Shepard…,” Thane said.

            She glanced back over her shoulder and muttered, “I’m sorry. I’ll uh, I’ll have EDI forward you the mission briefing. If you need anything, I’m sure she’d be more than happy to help. Or Kelly, she’s uh, she’s very helpful. I don’t know. I… I should go.”

            Shepard rushed out of the life support to the elevator. She pushed the button on the elevator and ran her hands through her hair. The heat was staring to build back up behind her eyes. Jane’s disappointment was egging Shepard’s need to escape on.

            “Come on,” Shepard said under her breath. “Come on. Come on. Come on.”

            Shepard glanced back at the door to life support, silently begging Thane to not walk out of that room to come looking for her.

            “Shepard? Shepard what’s wrong?” Garrus said.

            Shepard snapped her head around to see Garrus moving towards her from the other direction. She didn’t see where he came from but she was glad he was there. A second later he was by her side, his hands gripping her shoulders as he looked her up and down searching for injuries and drinking in her scent.

            “What happened? Did he do something? Did he attack you?” Garrus asked.

            “What? Gods, Garrus. No. No, he didn’t do anything. I’m the idiot who did this to myself,” Shepard said.

            The elevator door slid open and Shepard stepped inside; Garrus following her. Once the doors slid closed on them Shepard pushed the button for the top floor and pushed her palms into her eyes once more. Garrus frowned and pulled his mandibles in against his jaw before wrapping her in his arms.

            “Talk to me,” he said.

            _“Of course it isn’t something so… so spiritual. I wanted to believe it too, when the thought first crossed your mind. It can’t be though, this has to have something to do with the reapers… or something Cerberus did. Nothing else makes sense,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard shook her head and sighed. He pulled her in closer and she tucked her face down against his chest. The elevator door slid open and he led her to her cabin. Garrus walked her over to the couch and sat down before pulling her down next to him.

            “Shepard, what happened?” Garrus asked again.

            “I thought… oh gods, I’m so stupid. I don’t know what I thought. I guess I… I hoped he might have some answers. Some clue, a lead I could follow,” Shepard said as the tears she had been fighting started to trek down her cheeks.

            “Answers to what?” Garrus asked.

            “To what the hell I’m going through. Why all of this is happening to me,” Shepard said.

            “You mean Jane?” Garrus asked.

            “Yeah,” Shepard said.

            “Why would he have answers?” Garrus asked.

            “Because… I don’t know. It’s not like I believe in his religion or whatever, but I know that a lot of religions draw from pieces of the truth. Things that have actually happened,” Shepard said starting to ramble with her frustration. “They get distorted over time, but I thought that maybe if there was something… a legend or something, that I could trace it back to its roots or something. Fuck. I don’t know, Garrus. I’m foolish and desperate. He spent a lot of time talking about his goddesses with Jane.”

            Garrus put a hand on Shepard’s head and guided it to his shoulder, stroking down her grown out hair with his gloved hand.

            “Does it really matter why this is happening? If you found a reason for it, would it change anything?” Garrus asked.

            _“Of course it would,”_ Jane said.

            “I… I don’t know. Maybe. Probably not, but it could. I just… she’s so tired, Garrus. I want this to end for her sake as much as mine. I don’t want to wake up again in someone else’s body when this is all over,” Shepard said.

            “I know. Hmmm, you’re doing your best to make sure that doesn’t happen and I’m here with you. Whatever you need, Shepard. Alright? We’ll figure this out together,” Garrus said.

            Shepard’s tears slowly eased and she nodded her head.

            “You’ve had a long day. Why don’t you hop in the shower and I’ll go get us something to snack on?” Garrus said.

            “I need to talk to Samara. I told her I’d come by to talk more after I was finished with things on Illium,” Shepard said.

            “Samara is an ancient asari; I think she knows how to handle waiting. If you want, I’ll stop by and let her know you’re not feeling well,” Garrus said.

            “Yeah. OK. Tell her I promise I’ll come see her first thing tomorrow,” Shepard said.

            “I’m on it. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Garrus said.

            _“He loves you. So much more than he ever loved us. He gives so much more of himself to you,”_ Jane said.

            “It’s just because we started sooner, had more time together,” Shepard thought.

            _“No… it’s because you give so much more of yourself to him than we ever did. You’re right, you’re not just a copy of me… you’re… more real than I ever was,”_ Jane said.

            “What does that even mean?” Shepard thought but Jane didn’t answer.

            Shepard watched Garrus leave before taking off her clothes and throwing them in the laundry chute. She dug around in her chest and pulled out an N7 tank top and a pair of pajama bottoms before going into the bathroom. Shepard glanced in the mirror; her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She made a sound of disgust in her throat before peeling the bandages off her shoulder. The wound was closed, as she expected, but it was still tender and raw. Shepard turned on the shower, dreading the less than scalding hot water she would have to settle for at least for another day or two until her shoulder finished healing.

            She stuck her hand under the stream, testing the temperature before stepping inside. Shepard did her best to push thoughts of Thane and Jane’s plight from her mind as she washed away the day’s residue of sweat and blood. She could hear Garrus moving around in her quarters when she turned the water off again. She gently patted the area around her wound with a fresh towel before drying the rest of herself off.

            After running a brush through her hair and getting dressed, Shepard opened the bathroom door and padded across the floor barefoot to where Garrus sat on the couch. He looked up at her as she approached, the tension easing out of his face when he saw her smile. She sat down next to him and he pushed a plate with a slice of chocolate cake on it in front of her.

            “So, who else are we picking up for this run?” Garrus asked.

            “Just Tali, I think. If she still decides to come with us. I think she might drag Kal along with her, though. Who knows? Lia and Grundan Krul were both a surprise,” Shepard said.

            “I’m glad you agreed to bring Grundan Krul with us,” Garrus said.

            “Why’s that? I mean, obviously he’s a friend of yours but I doubt that’s the only reason,” Shepard said.

            “He doesn’t have anything else. He needed this, to give him purpose,” Garrus said.

            “What happened to him? How’d he end up with you really?” Shepard asked.

            Garrus shook his head and said, “It’s not my story to tell, Shepard.”

            “Fair enough,” Shepard said.

            “He likes you. Maybe he’ll decide to tell you himself someday,” Garrus said.

            “How can you tell? He doesn’t say much and I’m pretty sure he’s made it his personal goal to avoid making facial expressions around me as much as possible,” Shepard said.

            Garrus chuckled and said, “The same way I know far more about you and everyone else on this crew than I want to know half the time. I can smell it on him, his approval. I can hear it in the tone of his voice. His expressions are there, you just have to really look for them.”

            “What about the others? Do you wish any of the others had come?” Shepard asked.

            “I still keep in touch with them but no, they aren’t cut out for life on a ship and honestly I think it was time they moved on. They got what they needed working with ‘Archangel’ and were ready for something else in life,” Garrus said.

            “So, I’m curious… did you ever meet Sidonis?” Shepard asked.

            “I did,” Garrus said.

            “Well? How’d that go?” Shepard asked.

            “I shot him,” Garrus said.

            Shepard paused with her fork halfway to her mouth and asked, “What happened?”

            “I saw a turian being beaten half to death by a krogan. Part of the Blood Pack. I fired at the krogan drawing his attention and giving the turian a chance to collect himself. Once he was back on his feet he helped me take the krogan down,” Garrus said glancing at her. “When he introduced himself as Lantar Sidonis I shot him in the face.”

            _“Gods…,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard stopped chewing, her eyes blinked rapidly before she recovered. She picked up the glass of water Garrus brought with him and washed the cake in her mouth down her throat. She carefully set the glass back on the table.

            “You just shot him? I mean, he hadn’t even done anything yet?” Shepard said.

            Garrus’ mandibles pulled in tight against his face. It seemed like they spent a lot of time there these days, Shepard thought.

            “I just shot him,” Garrus said simply.

            “Damn,” Shepard said.

            “It didn’t matter that he hadn’t done it yet, Shepard. I knew what he would do given the chance. Sure, I could have just walked away and never spoken to him again but that wouldn’t have been a guarantee,” Garrus said. “The only guarantee was to kill him. It took two seconds to realize that and one more to pull the trigger. I wasn’t… I wasn’t in a good place, Shepard. I’d just been through hell getting your body back from the Shadow Broker’s thugs and turning you over to Cerberus. I wasn’t really feeling much like showing mercy to someone I knew would betray me given half a chance.”

            _“He was forced into the betrayal. You told Garrus that,”_ Jane said.

            “I know,” Shepard thought. “It doesn’t matter now. Hearing it again won’t bring Sidonis back to life, and it isn’t going to make Garrus feel any differently.”

            “OK. I get it,” Shepard said.

            “You do?” Garrus asked.

            “Yeah. I mean, I might have done the same considering the circumstances,” Shepard said.

            “No, you wouldn’t have,” Garrus said quietly.

            Shepard let it drop and they finished eating in silence. Garrus left to take their dishes back down to the mess while she brushed her teeth. When he returned she was sitting on the edge of her bed starring off into space lost in thought. She smiled when he walked over and sat down next to her, running a hand along her spine.

            “You’re sure you’re OK?” Garrus asked.

            “Yeah, I’m just tired,” Shepard said.

            Garrus reached over and pulled the covers back. Shepard stood up and got undressed, folding the tank top and pajama bottoms and setting them on the bedside table before crawling under the blankets.

            “Do you want me to stay?” he asked.

            “Please,” she said.

            Garrus stripped out of his armor and clothes before sliding in next to her. At Shepard’s request, EDI turned the lights in the cabin off leaving nothing but the soft glow from the newly emptied fish tank to light the room. Within minutes Shepard was asleep in Garrus’ arms.

            The next morning Shepard dressed and made her way down to the mess hall to grab a cup of coffee on her way to see Samara. She moved around the counter in the mess hall to get a mug and poured herself a cup from the pot behind the counter. She raised the mug to her lips and took a sip.

            “Ugh, this is crap,” Shepard muttered.

            “Really? I thought it was pretty good,” Kasumi said dropping her Tactical Cloak next to Shepard.

            Shepard handed the mug to Kasumi and said, “Damn it, Kasumi. One of these days you’re going to do that and end up with a face full of hot coffee.”

            Kasumi giggled and took the mug from Shepard bringing it to her lips.

            “Nah, I can usually tell when someone is that on edge. Besides, how else am I supposed to keep up my skills on this ship?” Kasumi asked.

            “Point. Hmmmm, oh I know! You should practice by stealing things from Joker. I task you with bringing me his hat, from his head, and not getting caught in the process,” Shepard said.

            _“That’s going to go over well,”_ Jane said, her voice heavy with sarcasm.

            “He’s a big boy, he can take it,” Shepard thought.

            “Really?! Oh, Shepard, you really know how to make a girl’s day,” Kasumi said taking a sip from the mug. “Challenge accepted.”

            Kasumi set down the mug and disappeared from sight. Shepard chuckled and shook her head. She turned to leave and almost walked into Grundan Krul.

            “Oh!” Shepard said pulling herself up short before she smashed into the batarian and the cup of coffee he held in his hand.

            “Morning,” Shepard said.

            “Good morning,” Grundan Krul said.

            He handed her the mug and Shepard grinned. She brought it up to her nose to inhale the rich scent before taking a sip.

            “Mmmm. You’re the best. Have you tasted that crap over there?” Shepard asked.

            “No, I prefer to make my own,” he said.

            “Wise man,” Shepard said patting him on the shoulder as she moved past. “Good man. I’ve got to go talk to Samara. Thanks for the coffee. You’re a life saver.”

            A small smile flickered across his face, tugging at the corners of his eyes. Shepard rewarded him with a smile of her own and a wink before she turned away, bringing the mug back to her lips. Shepard tapped on the metal door of the starboard observation before hitting the door’s release. Samara was sitting with her legs folded in the middle of the floor. Biotic energy swirled around the Justicar and formed a floating orb between her palms as she lost herself in her meditation.

            Shepard waited to the side sipping her coffee until the energy faded and Samara turned her head to look at Shepard. She smiled at the Justicar and moved to sit on the floor beside her. Shepard looked out at the stars, something she once found calming and relaxing but in the moment pulled at her heart with a deep and profound sadness. Shepard liked sitting with Samara, she was one of the few people who accepted silence without feeling a need to fill it with empty words. Still, she had come to talk so once her mug was empty Shepard turned her attention back to the Justicar.

            “Sorry I didn’t make it by last night,” Shepard said.

            “There is no need to apologize. Garrus informed me you were not feeling well,” Samara said. “I hope you are well today.”

            “Mmmm. I’m not sick or anything. I was just having… an emotional moment, I guess. I was having a bit of trouble pulling it together, but I’m fine now. A new day, a new perspective,” Shepard said.

            “That is good to hear, Shepard,” Samara said.

            “How about you, Samara? How are you?” Shepard asked.

            “I am well. I find this room quite pleasing now that we have left the docks of Illium,” Samara said.

            “It does have quite the view. I use to love looking out at the stars. I’d spend hours in the cockpit with Joker just so I could stare out the windows,” Shepard said.

            “You have lost your admiration for the stars?” Samara asked.

            “They just make me feel a little sad now,” Shepard said. “Hey, can I ask you something? About asari culture?”

            “If you desire; I will share with you what I can,” Samara said.

            Shepard shifted on the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest and crossing her ankles. She draped her arms across her knees and watched Samara.

            “Do the asari believe in reincarnation?” Shepard asked.

            _“Dawn, let it go. This isn’t the answer,”_ Jane said.

            “We are a diverse culture with varying beliefs. It is common for asari to follow a path called Siari. It means ‘all is one’. It is believed that we exist as mortal vessels filled with an eternal, spiritual energy,” Samara said. “When we die, our spiritual energy returns to the universal consciousness until it is needed to fill a new vessel. I do not know if this matches the human concepts of reincarnation.”

            “Does your energy… stay separate? Do you… stay you?” Shepard asked.

            Samara turned her head to study Shepard before she spoke again.

            “No more than once a drop of rain has joined with a pond can it be removed and remain the same drop,” Samara said.

            “Oh,” Shepard said with a sigh.

            She turned to look back out at the stars and rested her chin on her arms. Samara let her sit like that in silence for several long minutes before speaking again.

            “Forgive me if it is not my place to say, but you seem troubled by this, Shepard,” Samara said.

            Shepard chuckled lightly and looked back at the Justicar.

            “I’ll be alright. I think I’m just having a bit of an existential crisis,” Shepard said. “I keep thinking that I’ll find someone who has the answers for me.”

            “If I may, what do the humans believe about reincarnation?” Samara asked.

            “There are too many different human views to count, and they seem to change all the time,” Shepard mused. “Some have believed that we have an eternal soul, a unique entity that lives through many lives. Some people claim to be able to remember these past lives. Being different people at different points in history. Others talk about moving through different species of animals as well as humans. Some think that the experiences we have in this life are either a reward or a punishment for the things we did in a past life.”

            “These are not the answers that you seek?” Samara asked.

            “Not exactly,” Shepard said. “What about you, what do you believe?”

            “I believe in the Code. That is all I need,” Samara said.

            “The Code doesn’t talk about what happens when you die?” Shepard asked.

            “It does not exist to bring about spiritual enlightenment. The Code guides me in the ways of the Justicar in this life, defending what is just and bringing to a swift end what is not. What happens after death is not relevant because it is neither just nor unjust, and neither can it be brought to justice by the Code,” Samara said.

            Shepard started to ask the Justicar why then would she tell the merc she killed on Illium to find peace in the embrace of the goddess but reconsidered. She didn’t want to risk challenging Samara’s beliefs, or force the woman to examine her own beliefs any more closely than she was comfortable with. Perhaps the words were nothing more than a phrase, carried over from the life she left behind when she swore her oaths. Shepard looked back out of the observation window and the two women sat in contended silence.

            After some time, Shepard begrudgingly rose to her feet and collected her empty mug. Samara looked up at her with a peaceful smile.

            “If you need anything, or have any questions feel free to come find me. Or you can just ask EDI to let me know you’d like to talk,” Shepard said.

            “Thank you, Shepard. It is nice to have the opportunity to speak with a colleague after spending much of the last four-hundred years alone. I am pleased to find one who is also as comfortable with the silence as I,” Samara said. “If you find that the stars become comforting once more, I welcome you to sit and watch them with me.”

            Shepard smiled and said, “I may take you up on that, thank you.”

            Samara nodded and Shepard left the starboard observation. She hesitated outside of the door to life support before moving on to the mess and finding Grundan Krul and his wonderful coffee absent, handed the empty mug over to Gardner. She headed back to the elevator and took it up to the CIC to visit the tech labs.

            Kelley stopped her on her way past and presented her with a datapad cataloging the different species of snakes that Shepard could order to have delivered to the Citadel. Shepard looked at the datapad while she walked, using her finger to flip through the screens. She glanced up long enough to see that the doors were sliding open before before turning her attention back to the catalog as she walked in to the labs. Halfway into the room, Shepard looked up to see where Mordin was and dropped the datapad in surprise. Mordin wasn’t alone; Thane was standing in front of Mordin, his torso bare as Mordin scanned his chest and performed an examination.

            “Crap!” Shepard said as the datapad clattered to the floor.

            She stooped to pick the datapad up and turned it over in her hands to see it wasn’t broken. She glanced back at the two men and heat flushed her face. She averted her eyes, scolding herself for doing so. If it were one of the others she wouldn’t bother but it just wasn’t possible for her to look at Thane’s bare chest objectively. Not when the sight brought a flood of intimate memories to her consciousness.

            “Ah, sorry. I’ll, uh, I’ll come back,” Shepard said turning back to the door.

            “No need. Finished here,” Mordin said.

            “Right, uh,” Shepard said as she turned back around.

            She tried to focus on Mordin but her eyes kept sliding of their own accord to Thane’s bare chest as he casually – and she was pretty sure far more slowly than strictly necessary – began to put his vest back on.

            “Shepard?” Mordin said.

            “What?” Shepard said dragging her eyes back to him.

            “Need to show me something?” Mordin said pointing at the datapad.

            “Huh? Oh, um, no. This is just a catalog... Uh,” Shepard said before clearing her throat and moving to stand at the edge of Mordin’s table. “Is everything alright? He OK for duty?”

            “Yes. Exercise good for Kepral’s Syndrome. Helps circulate oxygen. Wanted baseline to monitor progression of disease, required scan and examination of the chest to see if expanding properly with inhalation,” Mordin said.

            “Oh, good,” Shepard said her eyes moving back to Thane.

            “He’s very persistent,” Thane said, pushing his arm through the sleeve of his jacket.

            “He is, he’s also not nearly as harmless as he looks,” Shepard said.

            She lifted her yes to Thane’s face and found him watching her watch him. Thane tugged at the jacket before sliding his hands down the leather and bringing them to rest behind his back. A slight smile lifted the corners of his mouth. Indecent thoughts flooded Shepard’s mind.

            “Jane, for the love of gods, get yourself under control,” Shepard thought.

            _“I’m trying. It’s not just me in here, you know,”_ Jane said.

            “I will keep that in mind,” Thane said.

            Shepard laid the datapad down on the table and turned her attention to Mordin.

            “I just wanted to come by to talk about our conversation yesterday, but we can continue that later. I’ll have you set up in a room to watch those videos on the Citadel if you still want to see them. I’d rather not have them played on the ship,” Shepard said.

            “Understandable, nature of videos sensitive. Will be happy to watch on Citadel,” Mordin said reaching over and picking up Shepard’s datapad.

            “Shopping for snakes?” Mordin asked.

            “Yeah… Fish don’t tend to last very long around me and I’m tired of looking at an empty aquarium. Snakes are a little bit harder to kill, they don’t need to eat as frequently,” Shepard said.

            Mordin began flipping through the catalog listing off the scientific names for each species. Shepard looked back at Thane to see he was still watching her.

            “So, do you have anything yet on the collector?” Shepard asked turning back to Mordin.

            Mordin continued to list off the species as he moved to the desk behind the table. A moment later he returned, walking around the table to stand next to Shepard. He sat the datapad down and reached into the pocket of his lab coat. Realization suddenly hit Shepard and she started to back away from the salarian.

            “Mordin… no,” Shepard said.

            Mordin pulled a syringe from his pocket and pulled the cap off. Shepard maneuvered around to the short side of the lab table.

            _“No, no, no. No don’t let him do it. He’ll cut us open again,”_ Jane said; her panic seeping into Shepard’s system.

            “Mordin… put it away. This is not acceptable. I didn’t even ask if it could get out of the tank!” Shepard screeched. “Gods damn it, Mordin! I will knock your ass out if I have to.”

            “Last warning. Next time will not see it coming,” Mordin said putting the cap back on the syringe and sliding it into his pocket.

            “I hate you,” Shepard said.

            “Both know that’s not true,” Mordin said.

            “Yeah, well, still makes me feel better to say it sometimes,” Shepard said crossing her arms.

            Mordin resumed looking through the catalog, humming contently to himself. Shepard’s flickered to Thane who had calmly watched the encounter without comment.

            “You could have helped,” Shepard muttered.

            “You were not in danger,” Thane said.

            “He was going to tranquilize me,” Shepard said.

            “He was taunting you, and you proved it effective,” Thane said.

            “Already knew effectiveness. Far more predictable than she realizes,” Mordin said handing the datapad back to Shepard. “This one. Native to Tuchanka. Will survive even you.”

            “Only because the last time you did that you cut open my skull,” Shepard grumbled taking the datapad.

            “Was necessary. Should look at incision site,” Mordin said.

            Shepard frowned and pulled her hair up with one hand, letting Mordin examine the scar while she looked over the fact sheet on the snake. Jane shifted around restlessly, not wanting Mordin behind Shepard after he just threatened to tranquilize her. The datapad showed an image of a burnt sienna toned snake with a wide, thick head. The snake was covered from head to tail in what looked like spikes. The catalog said it was called a thorned serpent and indeed was native to Tuchanka. Although not venomous, the thorned serpent apparently had stronger jaws than most other snakes and was able to easily crush the skulls of its pray or snap its neck when it struck, depending on what it was attacking. The thorns were formed from flexible cartilage and served both to aid in the regulation of body temperature and to deter potential predators.

            Shepard scrolled down the page; apparently it wasn’t a picky eater. It preferred live prey but would just as easily accept pre-killed prey and could even survive several months without eating if necessary by placing itself into a state similar to the brumation that snakes from Earth were prone to enter in the colder months. It was able to store extra fat and water in its tail, allowing it to go without water for a prolonged period of time when strictly necessary as well. As with all things that lived on Tuchanka, it was well equipped to survive in harsh living conditions.

            “Healed nicely. Any pain?” Mordin asked.

            “No, it’s fine. Still itches a little with the hair growing back,” Shepard said.

            “May I?” Thane asked.

            Shepard looked up to see him gesturing at the datapad and passed it over to him.

            “Seriously, Mordin. Tell me you are at least making progress and that having this thing on my ship is giving you the chance to come up with something better than a simple cloaking vaccine,” Shepard said.

            Shepard let her hair drop as Mordin moved away and back around to the other side of the table.

            “Cloaking vaccine? Interesting idea. Swarms able to detect human presence through the release of chemical compounds and electromagnetic field unique to humans,” Mordin said.

            Shepard cut him off before he went too far down that road and said, “Yes, it’s what you’ve done before but it’s not effective against larger swarms. We need something better this time, Mordin.”

            Mordin stared at Shepard before looking at the drell standing next to her.

            “What?” Shepard asked following his gaze to Thane.

            “Oh, right. He knows a little. Enough to think that I’m as crazy as you do,” Shepard said.

            “Don’t think you’re crazy, Shepard. Told you, wouldn’t be a good scientist if not skeptical. Require evidence,” Mordin said.

            Shepard gave him a half smile and said, “Yeah. Thanks Mordin. Anyway, we need something better, OK? Something that can stand up to us being surrounded completely and it needs to cover all of us, not just humans. Once we cross through that Omega 4 relay, they’re not going to care who is human and who isn’t.”

            “Yes. Making progress. Will have it ready when time,” Mordin said.

            _“Why is he being so secretive? I don’t like this,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard sighed and said, “Alright. I don’t know why you don’t just tell me but whatever. I don’t care. So long as you get the job done. I’ll leave you to it.”

            Shepard started towards the door and paused, turning around she held her hand out for the datapad Thane still held. He handed it to her and as she started walking again he fell in step beside her. Shepard glanced at him but he kept his gaze ahead. Shepard stopped at the galaxy map to check the ETA. They were still nearly 12 hours out from the Citadel so she had plenty of time to catch up with things on the ship.

            Shepard turned around and saw Thane standing behind her, his hands tucked behind his back as he watched her with patience. Shepard stepped down away from the map and got Kelly’s attention. She showed Kelly the datapad and gave her the greenlight to order the thorned serpent and anything that she would need to care for it and have it delivered to the Citadel. Kelly assured Shepard that if she planned to be on the Citadel for a few hours the store received regular shipments and could have it ready for her before they left the Citadel again.

            Thane was still standing there watching her when she turned back around.

            “Did you need something?” Shepard asked taking a couple of steps towards him.

            “I would like to continue our conversation. I can wait until you are ready,” Thane said.

            “And by wait… you mean follow me around the ship until I give you answers,” Shepard said.

            “Indeed,” Thane said.

            “And if you don’t like the answers?” Shepard asked.

            “I have not decided,” Thane said.

            “Alright, let’s get this over with,” Shepard said gesturing to the elevator.

            Thane stepped aside while Shepard called the elevator up and then followed her inside. When they arrived at life support, he gestured for her to enter first. Shepard made her way inside and leaned her back against the observation window. Thane came to a stop three feet away from her and waited patiently while she collected her thoughts.

            “I’m not sure how to start. I’ve told some of the others but with you it’s different,” Shepard said.

            “In what way?” Thane asked.

            “Well, to start, you haven’t spent time around me. You haven’t… seen the things I’ve let the others see. I complicated things by approaching you on the Citadel… and I think that you might be the easiest to convince, yet also the most dangerous to try to convince,” Shepard said.

            “Convince of what, exactly? That you believe yourself to be reincarnated somehow and that is why you know things that you ought not to know?” Thane asked.

            “Yes,” Shepard said shrugging her shoulders.

            “You’ve convinced others of this?” Thane asked.

            “I have,” Shepard said.

            “Yet Mordin is unconvinced,” Thane said.

            “I just gave him the details yesterday,” Shepard said.

            “Why do you believe I would be easier to convince?” Thane asked.

            “Two reasons. You’re a drell with that unique ability to recall everything in detail, and you’ve gone to great lengths to keep your life secret,” Shepard said.

            “I see,” Thane said.

            “So… how do you want it? Long and drawn out or the quick kill?” Shepard asked.

            Thane raised his brow.

            “Right, of course. Assassin. Quick kill it is. Alright, I’ll take this leap of faith if you’ll agree to one thing before I begin?” Shepard said.

            “I’m listening,” Thane said.

            “If you feel you must kill me, let me finish first,” Shepard said.

            _“Gods. Why don’t you just give him permission?!”_ Jane asked.

            “Very well,” Thane said.

            “You’re not going to like this,” Shepard said.

            “I will manage,” Thane said.

            “Alright, first the story, then the proof,” Shepard said. “From the day I first set foot on the Normandy – the one that the collectors destroyed – in 2183 until the day I die on the Citadel fighting the reapers in 2186, I have lived through this all before,” Shepard said. “The first was a woman named Jane Shepard, she lived through it all and died in 2186 only to wake up in someone else’s body back in 2183. That Shepard lived through it all and died in 2186 only to wake up with the first in a third Shepard’s body back in 2183. It just keeps happening, countless times. I don’t know why. They don’t know why. I am the first to become aware of the others. I’m doing what I can to change events in the hopes that I will be the last.”

            Shepard watched as Thane blinked his inner lids. She could see the exasperation in his eyes.

            “And your proof?” Thane finally asked, humoring her.

            _“Don’t do this, Dawn. Not like this,”_ Jane said.

            “Laser dot trembles on the skull. One finger twitch, he dies. Then the smell of spice on the spring wind,” Shepard said.

            Thane’s lips formed a tight line as he held up a hand and said, “Enough.”

            “Sunset colored eyes, defiant in the scope. The laser dances away,” Shepard said.

            Thane slammed his fist into the observation window next to Shepard’s head and with a raised voice said, “Enough!”

            Shepard closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening her eyes again. His face was so close to hers and his eyes looked so full of pain and rage. She wasn’t done yet, she needed him to believe. Irrevocably believe.

            _“No, that’s enough. You made your point and by some miracle you’re still alive. Leave it alone!”_ Jane said.

            “Her name was Irikah. She was your wife, and the mother of your son, Kolyat. She was killed by men seeking to hurt you. You found them and you killed them, letting them linger in their suffering. No quick kill…,” Shepard let her words trail off when Thane’s other hand moved to her throat, finger tips and thumb resting just below her jaw bones.

            Shepard could feel her heart slamming into her chest and knew that he could feel it, too. This was far more dangerous than even following him on the Citadel. A huge gambit that might very well cost her life. He might even be able to kill her and escape in a shuttle or an emergency evac pod before anyone even found her body. Thane’s eyes bore into hers. It hurt her to see the raw emotions behind the blackened haze that covered the drell’s eyes but for the first time she felt afraid of what he might do. She knew she wouldn’t stand a chance in hand to hand combat with the assassin, but she could stay alive long enough to call for backup. Probably not long enough for that backup to arrive.

            _“Oh gods, just be still. Shut up and stay still,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard closed her eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

            Thane’s hand slid away from her throat and she opened her eyes again. He retreated from Shepard and moved to stand behind the table across from her.

            “You should go. You are not safe here with me in this moment. I apologize. You have given me much to consider,” Thane said.

            Shepard pushed away from the window and walked out of Thane’s room forcing herself to not look back. She took the elevator up to her cabin and settled in at her desk. Leaning her elbows forward, she pushed her hair back and rested her forehead on her hands. She took a few deep breaths and then opened her laptop.

            Shepard skimmed through her messages. More reminders from Cerberus of things they wanted her to look into. A message from Tali saying that her father had been exiled. A message from James saying that the vast majority of the civilian survivors had decided to leave Fehl Prime. The message she had missed from Mordin telling her that his tests indicate that the collectors were a genetic mutation of the protheans. Several messages from people she had helped in the past thanking her for her help. Shepard stopped when she saw the name Tela Vasir.

            Shepard: My name is Tela Vasir. I’m a Spectre covertly stationed on Illium. I heard that you were just here. It is a shame I missed you. If you plan to return soon, let me know, I could use your help on something.

            _“That’s got to be a trap,”_ Jane said.

            “EDI, could you ask Garrus and Grundan Krul to come to my cabin, please?” Shepard said.

            “Right away, Shepard,” EDI said.

            A moment later she said, “They are on their way.”

            “Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

            Shepard sat back in the chair and ran a finger back and forth across her lip as she stared at the message on her screen. A few minutes later her cabin door opened and she looked up to see Garrus enter with Grundan Krul behind him. Garrus zeroed in on Shepard’s location and moved towards the desk. There was a hitch in his step and he took a sniff of the air. Shepard knew he was picking out Thane’s lingering scent on her but he didn’t seem to be concerned as he stopped in front of her.

            “What’s up?” Garrus asked.

            Grundan Krul stood next to Garrus as Shepard pointed at her computer screen. Garrus read the message over her shoulder.

            “OK? What am I missing?” Garrus asked.

            “She’s an agent of the Shadow Broker,” Shepard said.

            Grundan Krul moved a little closer to see the computer screen.

            “You’re sure?” Garrus asked.

            “Positive. There’s one other that might be on Illium that I know of, another asari named Nyxeris,” Shepard said.

            “He’s still after you, then,” Garrus said.

            “That would seem to be the likely explanation,” Shepard said.

            “I’ll see what I can find out,” Grundan Krul said opening his omni-tool and running his fingers over screen.

            “Garrus, when you were working to get me back from them, were you working alone?” Shepard asked.

            “There wasn’t anyone else I could trust, aside from the Normandy crew and I didn’t want to involve any of them in that,” Garrus said.

            “Grundan Krul, see what you can find me on a drell named Feron as well. I don’t have a last name but he has associations with the Broker as well and could be a potential ally,” Shepard said.

            “What about Barla Von, the volus on the Citadel?” Garrus asked.

            “I doubt he has any information on this but I suppose we could look into him, too,” Shepard said.

            “What are you thinking?” Garrus asked.

            “I’m thinking we’re going to go pay the Shadow Broker a visit. It’s time he’s been replaced,” Shepard said.

            _“This won’t work without Liara,”_ Jane said.

            “You know where the Shadow Broker is?” Grundan Krul asked.

            “I do,” Shepard said spinning her chair around to look up at the batarian with a grin.

            “Do you have someone in mind?” Garrus asked.

            “Maybe, we’ll have to see if we can find Feron and where he stands,” Shepard said.

            _“Feron? He helped Liara but she ran the show, you know that. He can’t handle it on his own. You don’t even know if you can trust him without Liara being a part of this,”_ Jane said.

            “We won’t know unless we find him,” Shepard thought.

            “You want to use an agent to replace the Broker?” Garrus asked.

            “He’s a distinct possibility,” Shepard said.

            “What is it with you and drell?” Garrus asked.

            “Hush,” Shepard said.

            Shepard spent three hours replying to messages and talking back and forth with a distraught Tali once Garrus and Grundan Krul left her cabin. Tali was devastated by her father’s actions, but more devastated that he had been exiled. She didn’t know where he was going to, or how he would manage with the meager supplies and pathetic excuse for a ship that Admiralty Board had allowed him. Shepard offered to help Tali’s father, take him somewhere or bring him more supplies but her father had adamantly refused insisting that this was his responsibility and his consequences to accept.

            The Admiralty Board had given Rael’Zorah one day to gather his belongings and say goodbye to his friends and daughter. Tali wanted to leave the Migrant Fleet, at least for a while when her father was sent away but Rael made her promise that she would stay until things settled down. He told her that the quarians needed to see her standing with the Migrant Fleet and aiding them in whatever way they demanded of her. They needed to live by her side and come to accept her again so that she was not forever branded with his disgrace. Shepard wondered if Tali agreed to stay because she saw the truth in what her father said, or if she stayed because she was trying to make up for being the one to report him. She told Tali that no matter what, Shepard had her back and would do whatever she could to help her all she had to do was ask.

Shepard had finally convinced Tali that everything would be alright and to enjoy her last day with her father knowing that he was alive and she would see him again someday. She closed her laptop lid and stood up from the desk. Shepard stretched her arms out over her head before rolling her neck. She hated sitting still for so long, she needed to move around and do something else for a while and her stomach was growling.

Shepard made her way down to the mess hall and found that for once she was thinking about food the same time as everyone else was. Only then did it occur to her that her breakfast had consisted solely of coffee. She reasoned that after eating a slice of cake before bed the night before, it was justified to skip one meal. No sooner than Shepard sat down at one of the tables did she feel something being slid down on her head. She pulled the hat off of her head and looked it over with a satisfied grin as Kasumi sat down next to her.

“Good work, I think you deserve a raise,” Shepard said putting Joker’s hat back on her head.

“Shep, you don’t pay us anything,” Kasumi said.

“I said you _deserve_ a raise. I didn’t say I was giving you one,” Shepard said. “So, did he lose his shit?”

“I don’t know,” Kasumi said with a shrug. “He hadn’t even noticed yet by the time I was out of the cockpit.”

“I bet he’s pissed,” Shepard said with a chuckle.

“I can’t believe EDI didn’t say anything,” Kasumi said.

“That is because I was aware of the parameters of the task Shepard gave you. I was also curious to see how he would respond,” EDI said.

“And what did you learn, EDI?” Shepard asked.

“It took Mr. Moreau thirteen minutes and twenty-two seconds to realize his hat was missing. He spent four minutes and twelve seconds looking for it in the cockpit and another thirty-two seconds trying to convince me to tell him where his hat was,” EDI said. “When I failed to supply him with the information he requested, he muted my access node for twenty minutes before concluding that he must have left it in the restroom. When he failed to find it in the restroom, he spent another two minutes looking over the cockpit again. He finally came to the partially correct conclusion that you had taken his hat.”

“I’m almost insulted. He does know who I am, doesn’t he?” Kasumi asked.

“Mr. Moreau knows who everyone is aboard the Normandy,” EDI said.

Shepard laughed and asked, “What’s he doing now, EDI?”

“I believe you have referred to this particular display of body language as ‘pouting’,” EDI said.

“Aww,” Kasumi said. “Maybe we should give it back?”

“Gods Kasumi, what kind of thief are you?” Shepard teased.

“Uh!” Kasumi said.

“I’m kidding. I’ll give it back to him when I’m done eating,” Shepard said.

“Good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find out what Miranda hides in her underwear draw,” Kasumi said activating her Tactical Cloak.

“If you get caught, you’re fired,” Shepard said.

“Shep, come on. I don’t get caught,” Kasumi said.

Grunt walked over to Shepard’s table and let his overflowing tray drop down on the metal surface across from her. Shepard glanced up when she was splattered with stew.

“Grunt? Everything OK?” Shepard asked.

Grunt looked at one of the Cerberus crew sitting at the other end of the table and the man hurried away, abandoning his half eaten meal. Grunt sat down and stared at Shepard.

“Why are we going to the Citadel? Zaeed said you’re not taking us there to fight anything,” Grunt said. “I want to go someplace where there’s people to kill, Shepard.”

 _“He needs to go to Tuchanka soon,”_ Jane said.

“It’s starting to get to you, isn’t?” Shepard asked.

“What is?” Grunt asked.

“Feeling more irritable? Like you want to rip things apart even more so than usual?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah,” Grunt said after a thoughtful moment. “Is that bad?”

“No, it’s normal for krogan when they reach a certain age. Well, age isn’t the best word in your case, but you know, physical maturity level. It just means that it’s time we take you to Tuchanka,” Shepard said.

“Tuchanka. Okeer’s teachings were full of pride over the krogan home world but he didn’t teach me about this. What does this have to do with Tuchanka?” Grunt asked.

“Krogan go through certain rites at different points in their lives. Urdnot Wrex, he traveled with me, helped me to fight the geth heretics and Saren, he can tell you everything you need to know and you can undertake the Rite of Passage,” Shepard said.

“Will I get to kill something on Tuchanka?” Grunt asked.

“You will,” Shepard promised.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Grunt asked.

“There are a lot of things that we need to do, Grunt, but we’ll go there as soon as we can. I promise,” Shepard said.

“I don’t want your promises, Shepard. Just get me there,” Grunt said.

“I will, Grunt,” Shepard said.

Shepard finished her lunch and took her tray back to Gardner before heading up to the cockpit. She plopped down in the co-pilot’s chair and chuckled when Joker reached across to swipe the hat from her head.

“Now it’s going to smell like you,” Joker said.

“I smelled that thing. There’s no way it’s ever going to smell like anything other than your funk. I’m going to have to wash my hair twice before Garrus will want to come near me again,” Shepard said.

Joker sniffed at the hat and shrugged before pulling it down over his head.

“Serves you right. Kasumi?” Joker asked.

“Maybe,” Shepard said.

“How’d you convince EDI to keep quiet?” Joker asked.

“Didn’t have to,” Shepard said. “She was happy to watch you scrambling around looking for it.”

“Of course she was. I swear if it weren’t for all those damn blocks, EDI would suck all the air out of the cockpit just to watch me suffocate,” Joker said.

“I would not do something to bring you harm, Mr. Moreau,” EDI said.

“Yeah… so you’d do it just long enough to make me pass out before turning the air back on,” Joker said.

“Joker… you can trust EDI,” Shepard said.

“Thank you, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Ha!” Joker said.

“Joker,” Shepard said and waited for him to look at her before continuing. “Trust EDI.”

Joker raised an eyebrow and Shepard raised both of hers in response.

“Alright. If you say so,” Joker said.

“I do,” Shepard said. “You should consider getting off the ship for a little bit when we get to the Citadel. Even if it’s just to walk around the dock.”

“This again? Really?” Joker asked.

“Yep,” Shepard said with an emphatic pop.

“You know you’re not my mother, right? And last I checked you’re not a doctor… so unless you’re making that an order…,” Joker said.

“Not an order, Joker. Just a request,” Shepard said.

“Fine, I’ll think about it,” Joker said.

Shepard got up to leave and patted Joker on the shoulder. She was halfway out of the cockpit when Joker spoke to her again.

“Hey, Commander… you’re not really still upset about that elevator thing, right?” Joker asked.

Shepard chuckled and said, “Nah, I was over that ten minutes after it happened.”

“Oh,” Joker said.

Shepard moved back to stand next to the co-pilot’s chair where she could look at him easier.

“Why? Did you think I was mad?” Shepard asked.

“Well, you just don’t come up here to sit the way you use to,” Joker said.

“Ah… well, that’s not about you,” Shepard said rubbing her neck.

“Then what’s it about?” Joker asked.

Shepard said, “It’s uh… this is going to sound stupid.”

“Since when has that stopped you?” Joker asked.

“Alright you ass. It’s uh, well, the stars make me feel something… different now,” Shepard said.

 _“The remind us that we lost to those stars,”_ Jane said.

“Yeah… loss. I feel loss. I don’t like it,” Shepard said.

Joker turned his head and looked at Shepard with a blank face before he reached over and pushed a button on his console. The observation shutters closed, blocking out the view of the stars. A light smile crossed Shepard’s mouth as she wordlessly sank back down into the co-pilot’s chair.

“That about Lira and Ashley?” Joker asked. “Because if you want to… talk about it… or whatever it is I’m supposed to say here.”

“It is. Dr. Tulina, too. And I don’t,” Shepard said.

“Thank God,” Joker said. “I mean, you know what I mean. I’m just not good at that kind of thing.”

Shepard snorted and said, “Yeah. Thanks for being willing, though.”

“Yeah,” Joker said.

 _“They’re all so different with you,”_ Jane said.

Shepard let herself relax back in the chair and sat in silence, watching Joker work his magic with the ship’s controls. Shepard lost track of time, sitting there until her muscles started to remind her that she had already spent too long sitting around before standing up and stretching. She put her hand down on Joker’s shoulder before shifting forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders in something resembling a hug. She gave him a gentle squeeze and let go. He turned his head to look up at her with a furrowed brow.

“God you’re weird sometimes,” he said.

“Accepting affection from time to time won’t hurt you, Joker,” Shepard said.

“Clearly you’ve never heard of sexually transmitted disease,” Joker said.

Shepard snorted and said, “Really though, Joker. You’re important to me and I care about you. And you care about me, too. Even if you won’t say it.”

“Yeah, well… don’t go spreading that around the ship. I’ve got a reputation to uphold,” Joker said. “Can’t have people coming in here trying to make nice thinking I give a damn.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Shepard said.

Shepard left the cockpit and made her way to the elevator where she hesitated before punching in the third deck as her destination. When she stepped off the elevator she knocked gently on the door to life support before entering. Thane stood with his hands behind his back staring out of the observation window. His head turned toward the sound when she walked in but he didn’t turn around. Shepard came to a stop a few feet from the door.

“We’ll be arriving at the Citadel in a few hours and there is something that I need to talk to you about before we get there,” Shepard said.

 _“He may not be ready to hear anymore,”_ Jane warned.

Thane turned around and gestured to the chair next to him. Shepard walked into the room to take the offered seat while he moved around the table to stand behind the other chair. He waited for her to sit down before seating himself across from her.

“Are you… are you going to be able to listen to what I have to say?” Shepard asked.

“I must apologize for my earlier actions, Shepard. I was not prepared to hear those words from your mouth. You needn’t fear speaking with me, it won’t happen again,” Thane said.

Shepard crossed her arms and sat back in the chair.

“I don’t fear speaking with you. No more than anyone else. I know how dangerous you are, Thane but so is just about every other person on this ship in their own right,” Shepard said. “I wouldn’t have recruited them otherwise.”

“You have dropped the pretense of formality. Shall I call you Dawn?” Thane asked.

Shepard’s eyebrows crept up and she shook her head slowly.

“I can call you Krios if you prefer, but the use of my first name is generally reserved for family and intimate partners. Even then, Garrus uses it only when we’re alone,” Shepard said and shrugged. “It comes with the territory of being in the Alliance.”

“Either is acceptable, I do not have a preference,” Thane said. “This is not an Alliance vessel.”

“No, it most certainly is not. And I’m not currently acting within bounds of Alliance jurisdiction, but they didn’t technically strip me of my rank. Yet. Even if they did, though, it would still be inextricably who I am,” Shepard said.

“I see. What did you wish to speak with me about?” Thane asked.

 _“Choose your words carefully,”_ Jane warned.

Shepard leaned forward and said, “It’s about Kolyat.”

Thane clasped his hands and rested them on the table before he said, “I’m listening.”

“I thought that maybe, even if you weren’t ready to believe me about… everything, this would still be something you’d want to know. I’d want to know,” Shepard said. “In the past… well, I guess it’s really the present… the other times – in the other times you would ask for me to help you with Kolyat. You said that he’d become ‘disconnected’.”

Thane moved slowly, Shepard thought so as to not startle her, bringing his hands up to rest in front of his mouth. His inner eyelid blinked a few times but he remained quiet so she continued.

“You left a package for him with volus bankers. He wasn’t supposed to get it until you were dead but he somehow got it early. He decided to take a contract to kill a man. A turian politician on the Citadel,” Shepard said. “I don’t know if he’s gotten that package yet, you might be able to keep that from happening. I don’t know, I thought you might want to look into it while we’re on the Citadel.”

Thane remained silent and still watching Shepard closely. She grew uncomfortable under his scrutiny and stood.

“Well, believe me or not, I tried,” Shepard said heading for the door.

“You lack the… finesse of an assassin but your precision is uncanny,” Thane said

She turned back to face Thane still sitting in his chair, his back to her.

“That wasn’t meant to hurt you. None of this was _meant_ to hurt you,” Shepard said.

“I believe you called it the ‘quick kill’,” Thane said.

“It was a figure of speech. I – I just meant –,” Shepard said.

Thane held up a hand and said, “I know what you meant, Shepard. Still, the irony is not lost on me.”

Thane stood and turned to Shepard before continuing, “Thank you, Shepard. I will look into this matter.”

 

 

           

           

           

             


	17. Chapter 16: The Dissension

**Chapter 16: The Dissension**

            The Normandy docked with the Citadel and half of Shepard’s team was already waiting at the airlock for the chance to get off the ship for five minutes in a place they wouldn’t be shot at. Probably. Shepard noticed that Lia was among the group gathered, and was pleased to see that Kasumi stood next to her with her arm laced through Lia’s. Lia had come a long way since Shepard picked her up on the Citadel, but with the crap she went through the last time she was here, Shepard wasn’t keen on the idea of the young quarian going it alone.

            The airlock opened and Shepard stepped off the ship, weaving her way through the small crowd of people milling about on the dock. Garrus and Mordin followed her as she made her way through the Zakera Wards to the seedy, cheap rooms that Garrus and she had rented before. Mordin took the choice of location in stride, even this was better than where he had been on Omega. She had encouraged him to bring something to eat and drink with him because it would take a while to watch the videos and she didn’t want him leaving the room until he was finished. He seemed to take her advice to heart and carried a bag slung over his shoulder; she could see a water bottle slipped into the side netting. Shepard rented a room and accepted the pass card from the bored asari behind the desk. She didn’t bother to look up at Shepard once during the transaction and that suited Shepard just fine.

            Shepard averted her gaze as an asari came stumbling out of a room still sliding the sleeves of her dress into place; a turian with a smug grin followed her out. It occurred to Shepard that the pair must think that Shepard was about to engage in a threesome with Mordin and Garrus. Shepard chuckled and just shook her head when Garrus asked her what was funny. She found the room that matched the pass card and waved it in front of the locked door release. The release turned green and she hit the controls.

            Once inside, Garrus scanned the room for bugs. They both knew they wouldn’t find any but she was a little proud of his paranoia when it came to keeping her safe. Shepard set the laptop down on the coffee table and booted it up before handing the OSD to Mordin. He sat down on the couch and slid the OSD in to place.

            “Wait, before you start. No copies of these videos, Mordin. I mean it. Not for your personal use, not to send to anyone else for any reason. You don’t talk about them to anyone without my approval. Give me your word,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard. Am a scientist; doctor. Understand nature of confidentiality. Don’t need it explained. Won’t copy or share files. Promise,” Mordin said.

            “Or talk about them with anyone without my permission,” Shepard said.

            “Yes, yes, yes. Won’t talk about them either,” Mordin said.

            “Alright. Message me when you’re done and Garrus or I will come get the laptop and OSD,” Shepard said.

            “Not staying?” Mordin asked.

            _“Gods no, please don’t stay,”_ Jane said.

            “No… I don’t want to see them again,” Shepard said.

            “Ah. Intense emotional response to visual reminder of trauma. Understandable. Can provide counseling if necessary. Though likely more comfortable with Dr. Chakwas or Ms. Chambers,” Mordin said.

            _“Counseling can’t fix this,”_ Jane said.

            “Yeah, I don’t need counseling. Well, I’m not going to undergo counseling. Just watch the damn videos and message me when you’re done,” Shepard said.

            Mordin chuckled and opened the folder on the OSD. Shepard and Garrus hurried out of the room, locking it behind them. He didn’t want to hear her pained screams coming through the speakers any more than she did.

            “Going to see Anderson?” Garrus asked once they were back in the hall.

            “Yeah. He’s probably already got word that the Normandy docked and is waiting for me,” Shepard said.

            “Did you need me with you for this one?” Garrus asked.

            “No, not if you have something else you want to do,” Shepard said.

            “I’ve got some people to talk to, then. Message me if you need me. Otherwise, I’ll let you know when I’m done,” Garrus said.

            Garrus wrapped a hand around Shepard’s waist and pressed his forehead to hers before giving her a quick kiss and going his separate way. Shepard was curious to see that he was walking further into the motel instead of toward the exit but she didn’t question him. She made her way back out of the motel and to the nearest rapid transit station before taking a cab to the Councilor’s office.

            “Commander Shepard, welcome. Councilor Anderson is waiting for you inside,” the pretty young woman sitting at the desk outside of Anderson’s office said.

            “Thanks,” Shepard said with a nod.

            She opened Anderson’s door and found Anderson standing in front of the balcony looking out over the Presidium. Shepard stopped in her tracks when her eyes landed on the four other people in Anderson’s office.

            _“What’s this, what are they doing here? James?”_ Jane said.

            “Vega?” Shepard said.

            “I don’t know,” Shepard thought.

            “Hey, Ídolo, you made it,” James said.

            _“I hate that, he should be calling us Lola,”_ Jane said.

            “I like it,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard glanced from James to Kirrahe to the unknown turian and asari before turning her attention to Anderson. Anderson turned from the balcony and Shepard saluted.

            “Forgive me, sir, but I wasn’t expecting a welcoming party,” Shepard said.

            “No, you’ll have to forgive me, Shepard. I wanted to talk with you about it first but the Council decided that it was preferable to handle the matter directly. The other Councilors will be here shortly,” Anderson said.

            “What’s going on, sir?” Shepard asked.

            “You’ll see soon enough, Shepard. Have a seat,” Anderson said.

            _“If he isn’t telling us, it can’t be good. Somethings wrong,”_ Jane said.

            “I don’t like it either but its Anderson, if we can’t trust him of all people then there isn’t anyone that we can,” Shepard thought.

            She glanced around uneasily before saying, “I think I’d rather remain standing, if that’s alright with you, sir.”

            “Suit yourself, Shepard. Try to relax though, this isn’t as bad as you think,” Anderson said.

            The door slid open and the three other Councilors walked in. Shepard turned towards them and stood with her hands behind her back as Anderson took his place next to them.

            “Commander Shepard, we are pleased to see you have arrived,” Tevos said.

            “Thank you, ma’am, but I’m a bit confused as to what exactly is going on here,” Shepard said.

            “Always straight to the point, Shepard. One of your rare redeeming qualities,” Sparatus said.

            _“Ass,”_ Jane said.

            “Ass,” Shepard thought.

            “We apologize for the surprise, Shepard but we felt that it was in the Council’s interest to ensure that this meeting remained as discreet as possible,” Tevos said.

            Shepard glanced at Anderson who hadn’t spoken yet in his official capacity. He smiled and nodded at her encouragingly.

            “I see. Well, what can I do for you, Councilors?” Shepard asked.

            “It is not often that we urge a Spectre towards a particular course of action, but it is not often that a Spectre makes a request for us to shut down a mass relay,” Valern said.

            “We have considered your request, Shepard, and after much debate we have decided to honor your request,” Sparatus said. “I only hope that you are aware of the massive amount of political backlash that your planned actions will cause.”

            _“Wait, what?”_ Jane said.

            “What Councilor Sparatus is trying to say is –,” Tevos began.

            “She knows what I’m damn well saying, Tevos,” Sparatus snapped.

            Shepard’s brows rose to comical heights. She had never heard one of the Councilors speak out of turn towards one another before. Tensions must be higher than she thought.

            _“Tread lightly,”_ Jane said.

            “No shit,” Shepard thought.

            “I assure you, Councilors, that I do understand fully the repercussions of these actions and am more than prepared to accept the consequences. If there was another way, any other way to guarantee the expected outcome of my plan, I would gladly choose a different course,” Shepard said.

            Anderson held his head a little higher and Shepard beamed inside at the display of his pride in her. Sparatus fluttered his mandibles before speaking again.

            “Yes, well, I am sure there will be consequences whether you are prepared to accept them or not. We have begun evacuating the system and have sent a team ahead of you to disable the relay. The official reason for these actions is reports of a serious terrorist threat,” Sparatus said.

            “A terrorist threat, sir?” Shepard asked.

            “You are planning on destroying a mass relay, Shepard,” Sparatus said.

            _“You son-of-a-bitch…,”_ Jane said.

            “You’re setting me up to look like a terrorist?” Shepard asked.

            “Commander, please, try and see things from our point of view,” Tevos said.

            “Shepard, this isn’t as bad as it sounds. We discussed this to great lengths and if things go right, then you’ll have the full backing of the Council when this is done,” Anderson said.

            _“Not as bad as it sounds! How is this not as bad as it sounds? This was supposed to help us do this the right way, save lives and if we were damn lucky avoid charges of terrorism but they’re orchestrating it so that is exactly what will happen. And of course they’ll deny any knowledge of the incident; they won’t admit it was sanctioned. You have got to be fucking kidding me, not as bad as it sounds my ass!”_ Jane ranted.

            “We have decided to send people with you, to act as witnesses to your actions. If what you say is true, and you are acting in good faith, they will be there to testify on your behalf,” Valern said.

            “And if you aren’t, they will be there to testify against you,” Sparatus said.

            _“Gods it would feel so good to punch him right now,”_ Jane said.

            “The Council does not believe you are acting in bad faith, Commander,” Tevos said. “We have chosen someone from each of the Councilor races to accompany you. Not only will this allow you to have support and witnesses, but it allows us to stand by the testimonies of our chosen should the time come when we are called upon to pass judgement.”

            “This is in your best interest, Shepard,” Anderson said.

            Shepard looked over her shoulder to see that the four others had lined up behind her and were standing at parade rest. She turned back to the Council and nodded her head feeling like she had a ton of bricks in the pit of her stomach.

            _“At least we know James and Kirrahe,”_ Jane said.

            “Because of the nature of your mission, as well as the nature of those you are currently working with, we have chosen only military trained members from our races and only as a volunteer basis. They are prepared to follow your command for the duration of this mission and are willing to adopt cover stories if it suits your needs in order for them to be accepted aboard the Normandy,” Tevos said.

            Shepard raked a thumbnail back and forth across her forehead before responding.

            “I don’t believe that will be necessary, and would likely only complicate matters when it came time for them to leave again,” Shepard said.

            “Very well, it is your choice how you handle their insertion into your crew, Shepard,” Tevos said.

            “With the Council’s express permission, I would like to extend an invitation to one Cerberus Operative Miranda Lawson to join me here in Councilor Anderson’s office without fear of recourse, to discuss this matter before bringing them aboard the ship,” Shepard said.

            “As long as Councilor Anderson believes that he has taken appropriate precautions and feels that it would not jeopardize any sensitive information, the Council consents to this request,” Tevos said after receiving nods from the other Councilors.

            The Council broke their formation and all but Anderson left the office. Shepard waited until they were gone before pinching the bridge of her nose. She sighed and turned to face her new temporary teammates. Vega winked at her as her eyes roamed over the group. The turian stepped forward and extended her hand to Shepard.

            “Altiria Eraslius of the sixth fleet, happy to be of service, ma’am,” she said.

            Shepard shook her hand and said, “Thank you. Why did you volunteer for this?”

            “Ma’am?” Altiria said.

            “I asked why you volunteered. I don’t mean to question your motives, but this doesn’t seem like an ideal assignment,” Shepard said.

            “Ah, well, my CO said that the Councilor had requested volunteers for a mission involving a Spectre and I was one of twenty-three to volunteer. I wasn’t given the details until after I was chosen. I was given the option to rescind my agreement to service but…,” Altiria said.

            “No turian would do that,” Shepard said.

            “Exactly. Not that I wanted to, anyway, ma’am. Once the mission was explained to me I was in full agreement. I am honored for the opportunity to work with you, and if I am not mistaken Garrus Vakarian still serves with you as well?” Altiria said.

            _“That could work in our favor,”_ Jane said.

            “You know Garrus?” Shepard asked knowing damn well Altiria could smell Garrus all over her.

            “Yes ma’am, we served our mandatory time together. He left to join C-Sec but I stayed on. It will be nice to see him again,” Altiria said.

            “Excellent, that will make things easier,” Shepard said.

            _“Or… it could make things awkward,”_ Jane said.

            “Why would it be awkward?” Shepard thought.

            _“They could have a history,”_ Jane thought.

            “That’s irrelevant for me and she carries herself professionally, I don’t see a problem,” Shepard thought.

            _“They could become involved again, you told Garrus you wouldn’t care,”_ Jane said.

            “And I wouldn’t, so again, I don’t see a problem,” Shepard thought.

            “Yes, ma’am,” Altiria said.

            “Hey, she don’t like all that ma’am business,” James said.

            Altiria’s mandibles fluttered as she glanced between James and Shepard. Anderson chuckled and put a hand on Shepard’s shoulder.

            “Mmm. She gets that from me. It doesn’t stop her from calling me sir and saluting me every chance she gets,” Anderson said.

            “Shepard is fine, if you’re comfortable with it,” Shepard said.

            Altiria looked like Shepard had just asked her to rob a bank or take candy from a baby.

            “I – I I’m not sure that I…,” Altiria said.

            “It’s alright, really. It’s a preference off the field but I won’t order you,” Shepard said.

            “Thank you, ma’am,” Altiria said.

            “Would you prefer to be addressed as Eraslius?” Shepard asked.

            “You are my commanding officer, you can call me whatever you like, ma’am,” Altiria said.

            Anderson chuckled and patted Shepard on the back. The asari stepped forward and Altiria moved back. Shepard shook the asari’s hand when it was offered.

            “Norisne Ditora. Pleasure to meet you, Shepard. I volunteered because it was something to do. Sorry, I don’t have a better excuse than that,” Norisne said.

            Shepard laughed and said, “Fair enough. Nice to meet you Norisne. Before I bring you aboard, though, I have to ask – will you be comfortable working with a Justicar?”

            The color drained from Norisne’s face as she stuttered out, “A – a – a Justicar? As in an asari Justicar?”

            “That’s right,” Shepard said.

            “I wasn’t aware – no, no I’d be honored. Does the Councilor know that you are working with a Justicar?” Norisne asked.

            “No, I don’t think so. I only just picked her up before coming here. Is that… is that something I should report to Tevos?” Shepard asked turning her head to Anderson.

            “Don’t look at me, I don’t even know what a Justicar is,” Anderson said. “But by her reaction, I’d say Tevos would want to know.”

            _“I never bothered to tell her. Didn’t see a reason to,”_ Jane said. _“Of course, I was never as chummy with her as you’ve been either.”_

            “Oh… uh, I’ll let Norisne here explain it to you while I run by Tevos’ office and give Miranda a call,” Shepard said.

            Anderson nodded his head so Shepard stepped out of the office and called Miranda on her omni-tool.

            “Yes, Commander?” Miranda asked when her face appeared.

            “Miranda, I just got out of an impromptu meeting with the Council. I’ve requested and received permission for you to meet me at Councilor Anderson’s office to discuss matters of a sensitive nature pertaining to a planned mission,” Shepard said.

            “I’ll be there in a few minutes, then. Should I bring anyone else?” Miranda asked.

            “No, just you. I’ll see you in a few,” Shepard said and closed her omni-tool.

            She made her way down the hall to Tevos’ office and stepped inside the waiting room. The asari at the desk smiled at her in greeting before pressing a button and speaking into the comm.

            “Spectre Shepard is here to see you, Councilor,” the asari said.

            “Send her in, Selene,” Tevos said.

            “The Councilor will see you now,” Selene said as if Shepard wasn’t standing right there to hear it herself.

            “Right, thanks Selene,” Shepard said.

            Shepard stepped inside Tevos office to find the Councilor sitting at her desk. She waved her hand towards one of the chairs situated on the opposite side and Shepard sat down.

            “Was there something we failed to cover in the meeting, Shepard?” Tevos asked.

            “No, this isn’t about the mission. It was suggested that you would wish to know that a Justicar has joined me in my fight against the collectors,” Shepard said.

            Tevos’ mouth jaw dropped but she quickly recovered. She leaned forward and laced her fingers together before resting them on the desk.

            _“Never seen that look on her face before,”_ Jane said.

            “Commander, I feel I must warn you… not as a member of the Council, but as an asari, that Justicars are… I’m not even sure how to say this,” Tevos said.

            _“Scary death machines of justice according to every asari ever?”_ Jane said giving Shepard the impression of rolling her eyes.

            “It’s OK, Councilor, I’m more familiar with Justicars and the Code they follow than you might expect. Justicar Samara has sworn an Oath of Subsumation to me and I have full faith in our ability to work in peaceful collaboration towards our goals,” Shepard said.

            “Goddess… and Oath of Subsumation? I – I don’t know what to say. That is a tremendous honor she has given you, Shepard. Had I known, I wouldn’t have needed to find an asari volunteer for your mission. You may excuse Norisne if you wish. I have no doubt that the word of a Justicar would carry all the weight needed by any asari,” Tevos said.

            _“I kind of like Norisne,”_ Jane said.

            “I see no reason to dismiss Norisne, Samara will be staying with me beyond dealing with the Alpha Relay while the others chosen by the Council will be expected to leave my service,” Shepard said.

            “Very well, Shepard. I would very much like to meet Justicar Samara if she would be amendable to such an introduction,” Tevos said.

            “I don’t think she would mind at all. Once we get things settled in Anderson’s office, I’ll see if Samara is willing to come to your office,” Shepard said.

            “Oh, perhaps it would be wisest if you accompanied Samara from the Normandy to my office. I’m afraid that the presence of a Justicar walking the Citadel might alarm the asari and if…,” Tevos said.

            “I’ll make sure there aren’t any incidents, Councilor,” Shepard said.

            Tevos smiled ruefully and said, “Thank you, Commander.”

            Shepard excused herself and made it back to Anderson’s office just as Miranda was arriving. Miranda’s eyes roamed the waiting area, taking in the details as Shepard led her past the receptionist and into Anderson’s actual office. Miranda’s eye met Kirrahe’s first and she nodded to the now very familiar salarian. Kirrahe returned the nod as he stoically waited for orders. James let out a low whistle and Miranda’s head turned to find him leaning against the wall. She gave James the same cold glare that she had given him the night he tried to hit on her before turning her attention to Anderson.

            “Councilor Anderson,” Miranda said.

            “Ms. Lawson,” Anderson said with a nod.

            “Miranda, the Council has decided to cooperate with my request to disable the Alpha Relay in the Bahak System and has called for an evacuation of the system’s colonies,” Shepard said.

            “Why was this request made?” Miranda asked.

            “I have reason to believe that the reapers are moving en masse to access that relay, from where they will be able to access every other relay,” Shepard said.

            “Then shutting the relay down will not be sufficient, Commander,” Miranda said.

            “I know. I’m going to have to destroy the relay,” Shepard said.

            “The Council has agreed to this?” Miranda asked raising an eyebrow at Anderson.

            “Provisionally and with conditions. The Council has selected these four to accompany Shepard to the Bahak System. They will bear witness to her actions and determine whether her actions had just cause,” Anderson said.

            “And if they decide her reasons weren’t good enough?” Miranda asked cocking her hip and raising an eyebrow.

            “Then I’ll be charged and likely found guilty of terrorism,” Shepard said.

            “You can’t be serious? They’ve cleared the way for you to destroy a relay but if they decide later that it wasn’t worth it you get hit with trumped up charges?” Miranda asked.

            _“Miranda gets it, why don’t they?”_ Jane asked.

            “Who says they don’t?” Shepard thought.

            “That about sums it up,” Shepard said.

            “This is ridiculous,” Miranda said.

            “I don’t disagree, Ms. Lawson but unfortunately I am only one part of the Council and have done everything that I could to support Shepard. Having these men and women join her for the mission will work in the other direction, too. When the batarians come hollering for blood, and they will, Shepard will have four respectable witnesses who can testify to the necessity of her actions,” Anderson said.

            “And of course the Council has nothing to gain by placing people aboard a Cerberus vessel,” Miranda said.

            _“Not really, not with us already giving Anderson everything we can get on Cerberus,”_ Jane said.

            “She has a point. I’m sure Miranda suspects that I’m passing information along to Anderson, but the rest of the Council doesn’t trust me as well as he does. They very well might be there to spy as well… both for the Council and for their own people,” Shepard thought.

            “They have all been instructed to follow Shepard’s command and it is only for the duration of this mission, Ms. Lawson. Their only orders from the Council are to observe and assist under Shepard’s command, they aren’t going to go digging around in Cerberus’ systems if that is your concern,” Anderson said.

            “I think it’s a terrible idea, but this is your call, Shepard,” Miranda said.

            “It isn’t ideal but the alternative would be catastrophically worse for the Bahak system. We don’t know with certainty that disabling the relay will save the system but it can’t hurt, and the Council has the authority to evacuate the colonies,” Shepard said. “This has to be done, Miranda, and I’d rather make sure as few lives are lost in the process as possible. Return to the Normandy and make whatever preparations you feel you need to make.”

            “Very well, Commander,” Miranda said as she turned to leave.

            “You four are dismissed to make whatever preparations. I will collect your contact information from Councilor Anderson and contact you one hour before you will be expected to report to the Normandy,” Shepard said.

            The Council Four saluted Shepard before following Miranda’s footsteps out of the office. Shepard waited for the door to close behind them before turning back to Anderson.

            “You put your as on the line for this, didn’t you? What happens to you if the rest of the Council decides I’m a monumental fuck up?” Shepard asked.

            _“Oh gods, they wouldn’t dare charge him with this!”_ Jane said.

            “Don’t worry about me, kid. I’ve never been a fan of all the politics, but I know how the game is played. I have faith in you, Shepard. I know you wouldn’t be doing this if you didn’t completely believe it was for the best,” Anderson said.

            “Thank you, sir, but you didn’t answer my question,” Shepard said.

            Anderson sighed and turned to walk out on the balcony. Shepard followed after him and leaned a hip against the low wall.

            _“No, no, no. We can’t let Anderson go down with us for this,”_ Jane said.

            “It won’t be good, Shepard, but this is bigger than you and me. It’s bigger than all of us. If it means I spend the rest of my years in prison then so be it, I’ll gladly accept that fate if it means helping you to save the galaxy from these reaper sons-of-bitches,” Anderson said.

            “I won’t let that happen to you, sir,” Shepard said.

            “That so?” Anderson asked with a chuckle.

            “Damn right, Anderson. I’ll bust you out of the joint myself. Put you on a ship with Kahlee Sanders and send the two of you off to retire on a beach somewhere,” Shepard said.

            “Retire?! You sayin’ I’m getting old, Shepard?” Anderson asked.

            Shepard laughed and turned to lean against the railing, looking out over the Presidium. They watched as everyone milled about down below, going on about their normal lives believing that their world was safe and secure. Attending business meetings, having dates, playing with their children, shopping for birthday presents. None of them really knew that all the while the biggest threat this galaxy had seen in 50,000 years was headed their way. None of them really knew, even if they had seen Shepard’s video that got leaked to the public and believed that the reapers were real. They didn’t really know. They didn’t really understand. And they wouldn’t, not until things got ugly in their own front yards.

            “How are you holding up, Shepard?” Anderson asked.

            “As well as can be expected,” Shepard said.

            “And Jane?” Anderson asked.

            “Oh, she’s still making sure I know that she thinks half of what I do is stupid, but she’s not fighting me when I go looking for information,” Shepard said.

            “Good. That’s good. Did you make it to check on Talitha?” Anderson asked.

            “She’s dead. I wasn’t fast enough, Anderson. They had her… they had her implanted and indoctrinated. Trying to study indoctrination. I tried to get her out of there and the assholes flipped a kill switch. Killed her and the others right in front of me,” Shepard said.

            “Damn… I’m sorry, Shepard,” Anderson said.

            “Not half as sorry as they are. I need to call in one of my crew, she has files for you that were recovered from the facility on Gellix. I wanted to make sure it was all delivered to you in person,” Shepard said.

            Anderson nodded giving her to go ahead so she called Kasumi over her omni-tool. Shepard smiled when Kasumi’s face popped into view. Kasumi was busy stuffing ramen into her mouth while Lia laughed in the background.

            “Kasumi, can the two of you come up to Councilor Anderson’s office? I want you to give him the files from Gellix,” Shepard said.

            “Sure thing, Shep. I’m almost done and then we’ll be right up. I got you a present, I can’t wait for you to see it,” Kasumi said.

            Shepard cringed when she heard Lia burst into a fresh fit of giggles. Whatever it was that Kasumi got her, Shepard was entirely sure it was going to make her uncomfortable.

            “Oh, but Kasumi I didn’t get you anything,” Shepard said.

            “That’s OK! See you soon!” Kasumi said, disconnecting the call.

            Shepard groaned and Anderson chuckled.

            “Was that Lia in the background?” Anderson asked.

            “Yeah,” Shepard said.

            “Why am I not surprised that she’s still with you? She sounds good though. Happy,” Anderson said.

            Shepard shrugged and said, “She wanted to stay. She’s been working hard to train for the field.”

            “Leave it to you to take in every civilian you find and turn them into trained soldiers,” Anderson said.

            “Not _every_ civilian,” Shepard said.

            Anderson chuckled and shook his head.

            “So, I’ve been thinking…,” Shepard said.

            Anderson raised an eyebrow and said, “Why does that sound more like plotting?”

            “Miranda and Jacob were both with me on Gellix. They got to see firsthand what Cerberus really does, and neither of them liked what they saw,” Shepard said.

            “OK,” Anderson said.

            “She’s not ready for it yet, but I think that given a little more time… I think that I can convince Miranda to replace the Illusive Man. Take over Cerberus and use it as an asset to help us in this war instead of something we’ll have to fight against,” Shepard said.

            “You think that will work?” Anderson asked.

            “I think that there is no way in hell I’m not going to put a bullet between the Illusive Man’s eyes as soon as I get the chance, and if I don’t put someone in his place, someone who knows the organization and I can trust, then someone else will rise up to fill the spot anyway. I’d rather it be Miranda,” Shepard said.

            _“If we can still trust her. She put control chips in us, you can’t forget that,”_ Jane said.

            “And she also just defended us to Anderson. A lot of things changed, Jane, but I still think Miranda is good at heart and is on our side,” Shepard insisted.

            “Hmmm. I’ve only met her twice but I have to say that it doesn’t seem like she’s in any hurry to betray Cerberus, Shepard,” Anderson said.

            “I know Miranda. Better than she realizes and I know she’ll end up leaving Cerberus and being on the run from them either way. Like I said, I don’t think she’s ready just yet but I think I can make it work, sir,” Shepard said. “The question is would the Alliance be willing to work with her?”

            “I think that would depend on how she ran Cerberus. The Alliance won’t work with the organization so long as it’s doing things like it was on Gellix,” Anderson said.

            “Of course. Trust me, sir, Miranda was appalled when she saw that facility,” Shepard said.

            “I know I’ve said it before, but I trust your judgement, Shepard,” Anderson said. “Now, run me through on what we gained from Fehl Prime.”

            Shepard spent the time they were waiting for Kasumi filling Anderson in on the events of Fehl Prime including the research facility and the presence of the reaper artifact. Anderson nodded in approval at the measures Shepard took to destroy the artifact, telling her it was better to be safe than sorry. When she mentioned the collector they found alive in the tank, and that it was kept for research Anderson insisted on seeing it himself. Shepard agreed and told him she’d take him to see it as soon as they were done with the file transfer.

            Kasumi and Lia arrived about twenty-minutes later. Kasumi had a small blue and white paper shopping bag in her hand, swinging it back and forth by the handles. Lia giggled when Kasumi stopped Shepard from looking in the bag, telling her she should wait until she was back on the Normandy. Shepard groaned and folded the top of the bag down before tucking it under her arm.

            Kasumi sat down at Anderson’s desk and got to work transferring the files to his laptop. Shepard reminded her that she was to transfer the Cerberus files and that was it. Kasumi stuck her lip out in a pout but Shepard knew that she’d do as she was told. Anderson made idle conversation with Lia as they waited for the transfer to be complete, asking her about her training and how she liked it aboard the Normandy.

            Once the file transfer was complete Kasumi and Lia left Anderson’s office to wander around the Citadel. Shepard had a feeling that Kasumi might be doing a little training of her own with you young quarian and she sincerely hoped that it didn’t end with Shepard having to convince C-Sec to not arrest Lia. Shepard walked Anderson back to the Normandy where he got a few sidelong glances from the Cerberus crew still aboard. Anderson gestured towards the cockpit and Shepard nodded.

            “Hello Councilor Anderson,” EDI said as Anderson entered the cockpit.

            “Hello, uh, EDI,” Anderson said.

            Joker turned his chair around and said, “Anderson. Here for another ‘inspection’?”

            Anderson chuckled and said, “Had to come see this collector you guys brought aboard.”

            “Hey, while you’re here, maybe you can tell her to get off my ass about leaving the ship,” Joker said.

            “Mmm. I’m not fighting that battle, Joker. You’re on your own,” Anderson said.

            “Shepard is right, Mr. Moreau. Moderate amounts of exercise would be beneficial for your condition, and my databases indicate that socialization is an important part of healthy human functioning,” EDI said.

            “Great. Now the AI think’s it’s my mom, too. Thanks, Shepard,” Joker said.

            Shepard shrugged and said, “You’re the one that brought it up, Joker.”

            Anderson chuckled and said, “It’s good seeing you, Joker. I better get on with this though; I’ve got a meeting in an hour.”

            “Alright. Take it easy, Anderson,” Joker said.

            Shepard could hear EDI extolling the virtues of exercise and Vrolik’s Syndrome as she and Anderson made their way from the cockpit. Shepard passed the gift bag off to Kelly and asked her to take it to her cabin for her before she led Anderson to the tech labs. She had the urge to snoop around with Mordin gone but decided he’d be able to tell somehow, and would probably tranquilize her for it.  Anderson followed her over to the collector floating in golden fluid. He stopped in front of the tank and put his hands behind his back.

            “It’s still alive?” Anderson asked.

            “Yeah. All of that,” Shepard said indicating the machinery, “is keeping him alive.”

            “And you’re sure it can’t get out of there?” Anderson asked.

            Shepard snorted and said, “I’ve been asking that so many times that Mordin threatened to tranquilize me if I asked again. No, it’s not getting out unless we let it out. Still… feels like it knows we’re here, doesn’t it?”

            Anderson grunted in response before moving to the side of the tank to peer at the back of the collector.

            “Your scientist, what was his name, Mordin? – He getting anything useful from it?” Anderson asked.

            “He hasn’t told me much, sir, but he promises he’s making progress. I’m not sure why he’s not talking. Mordin loves to talk. My guess is that he thinks whatever he’s working on, I’m not going to like,” Shepard said.

            Anderson looked over at Shepard and asked, “I don’t suppose we really need to like it, do we?”

            “No sir. It just needs to get the job done,” Shepard said.

            Anderson grunted again and stepped away from the tank before saying, “Well kid, I’d better get back. Keep me updated on this thing, will ya?”

            “Yes sir. I’ve got to speak with Samara – the Justicar – Tevos wants to meet her if she’s willing. Do you mind seeing yourself out?” Shepard asked.

            “I think I can manage, Shepard,” Anderson said with a chuckle.

            Shepard made her way down to the starboard observation. Samara was unsurprisingly sitting in the middle of the floor with her biotics flaring around her body as she meditated. When Shepard walked in the biotics faded and Samara inclined her head towards Shepard.

            “Shepard, it is good to see you,” Samara said.

            “Hey, Samara. I was wondering how you would feel about coming with me to meet Councilor Tevos. I mentioned that you had joined the Normandy and she asked to meet you,” Shepard said.

            “I have not yet visited the Citadel. I will be glad to join you,” Samara said unfolding her long legs and standing.

            Shepard led Samara through the Citadel to the Councilor’s office. Shepard couldn’t help but to notice the reaction of every asari that caught sight of Samara. Dozens of blue lips whispered the word ‘Justicar’ but none dared to point as Samara walked by. Asari moved aside clearing the path for Samara even as confused volus, salarians, and turians looked on trying to understand what the fuss was about. Samara didn’t seem to notice, her eyes looked about at the architecture with mild curiosity from time to time but otherwise she moved through the crowd of people as if they weren’t there.

            Shepard opened the door to Tevos’ office and the asari in the waiting area glanced up. Her jaw dropped open and she scrambled to her feet. Samara walked in and glanced around her again, waiting for Shepard to lead the way.

            “Selene, could you please tell Councilor Tevos that the Justicar has come to see her?” Shepard asked.

            “Oh, goddess. I mean. Yes, yes, of course. Right away,” Selene said before announcing them over the intercom.

            Shepard was a little impressed when Tevos hurried out of her office to greet Samara in person as opposed to waiting for Samara to come to her.

            “Justicar, it is an honor to meet you. Thank you for coming. Please, won’t you come into my office?” Tevos said extending her hand.

            Samara accepted Tevos hand before dipping her head in acceptance of the request.

            “Selene, bring us some tea,” Tevos said before stepping aside and motioning towards her office door.

            Samara stepped inside and Shepard followed even though she hadn’t actually been asked to join them. Tevos came in last and closed the door behind her before offering a chair to Samara. She started to return to the chair behind her desk and stopped in her tracks. Shepard schooled her expression before she could smirk at Tevos conundrum. She was afraid she would insult the Justicar by taking a seat of power and authority in her presence.

            _“We should really be recording this, it’s priceless,”_ Jane said.

            “I think I’ll stand, if you don’t mind, Councilor. It’s nice to move around a bit after being on the ship for so long,” Shepard said.

            Tevos flashed Shepard a grateful smile before taking the second chair next to Samara in front of the desk. Shepard paced away from the two asari to lean out over the balcony behind the desk giving them room to speak in private but remaining nearby in case either of them wished to speak to her. Selene came in a few minutes later carrying a tray with small cups and a tea pot. She sat the tray down quietly next to Tevos before backing out of the room once more.

            Shepard paid only half-attention as the two asari spoke. The conversation consisted primarily of Tevos asking a question and getting the briefest of response from Samara before floundering to find another question to keep the conversation going. It was truly a rare treat to hear the asari Councilor stumble over her words. Shepard glanced at Samara to see the Justicar delicately balancing a cup of tea on her knee while smiling softly at Tevos. She couldn’t see Tevos’ face from her position, but the asari’s posture spoke volumes about her unease. Shepard wondered if Tevos had some reason to fear the Justicar aside from reputation alone; did she fear that the Justicar would learn something about Tevos – learn that she had done something that would warrant a swift judgement from the Justicar? She was ultimately just a politician, after all, and what politician didn’t have skeletons tucked neatly away in their closets? Shepard turned her attention back out over the Presidium watching the pedestrians come and go.

            “I am certain that having a Justicar join the mission will ensure her success. She is quite lucky that you agreed to help,” Tevos said.

            “Shepard is quite formidable by her own right. I do not believe that the success of her mission to stop the collectors hinges on my presence, but it is kind of you to say so,” Samara said.

            “Oh yes, of course. Shepard has proven the decision of the Council to make her a Spectre to have been the right choice. She is truly a shining example of the best humanity has to offer and her role in stopping Saren’s attack on the Citadel will not soon be forgotten,” Tevos said.

            “Sovereign’s attack,” Shepard said absently.

            “Excuse me?” Tevos said turning in her chair to look at Shepard.

            “I get that the Council feels like they need to downplay the existence of reapers to the general public, but the general public isn’t here right now, Councilor. Saren wasn’t the real threat. Sovereign was,” Shepard said watching Tevos over her shoulder.

            “Ah, yes, of course,” Tevos said.

            “The Council is deceiving those they are sworn to serve? How will they prepare for the war that is to come if they are blind to its arrival?” Samara asked setting the tea cup down on Tevos’ desk.

            _“Oops,”_ Jane said.

            “The Council wishes to avoid a panic, Justicar, it is in the public’s best interest. We cannot even be certain that more reapers are coming. Until we can be certain that there _is_ a threat, alerting the public would only cause panic and riots,” Tevos said pleadingly.

            “I see. Thank you for the tea, Councilor,” Samara said rising to her feet.

            _“Well that went well,”_ Jane said.

            Tevos stood up and sat her cup down before plastering a smile on her face and saying, “Yes, of course. You are always welcome to come and speak with me whenever you wish.”

“I am ready to return to my meditations aboard the Normandy, if you do not have further need of me, Shepard,” Samara said.

“Sure. I’ll walk you back,” Shepard said.

“Could have gone worse. No one died,” Shepard thought.

Shepard gave Tevos a sympathetic smile as she walked past her. The Councilor looked like she was going to be sick but returned Shepard’s smile. They got a few feet away from the Councilor’s office and Shepard glanced at Samara to see her lips in a tight line.

“That upset you?” Shepard asked.

“It is not the way the asari once would have handled such a threat. She is still so young, and in such a position of power. I fear she has forgotten where it is that she comes from,” Samara said.

“She’ll come through when it really matters the most,” Shepard said.

“You sound certain of this,” Samara said.

“Yeah… well, I’ve known her for a while. Trust me, aside from Anderson, she’s the best that Council has when it comes to doing what’s right for everyone,” Shepard said.

“You do not approve of the other Councilors?” Samara asked.

“Valern isn’t horrible, I guess. He’s been finding ways to help out, but it’s more because he’s smart enough to realize this isn’t a game and is looking out for salarian interests. Sparatus is an ass,” Shepard said eliciting a chuckle from Samara, “he absolutely hates me. Always has. I’m not really sure why, other than that I’m human and I proved that his beloved Spectre Saren was a traitor.”

“And Anderson, what kind of Councilor is he?” Samara asked.

“I’ve known Anderson for a very long time. Before he was on the Council, he was the captain of the old Normandy and my CO. I have nothing but respect for Anderson. He was the best damn captain I’ve ever had the privilege to serve under. He hates being a Councilor, to be honest. He’s never been a fan of politics, but he’s doing his best, butting heads with the others trying to make them see reason and to put in every effort he can to stop the reapers before it’s too late,” Shepard said.

“He is not interested in the power of the position?” Samara asked.

“Only in as much as it gives him a better chance of convincing the rest of the Council to do the right thing,” Shepard said.

“I see,” said Samara.

Shepard left Samara at the airlock when her omni-tool flashed telling her she had a message. It was Garrus telling her to meet him in the restaurant where she took Lia the day they met. Shepard made her way to the restaurant and made her way to the table where Garrus sat with Grundan Krul.

“What’s up?” Shepard asked sitting next to Garrus.

“We’ve found out who Ross and Cantis are,” Garrus said.

“The other two names on the auction list?” Shepard asked.

“That’s right. Aliases as we expected. Ross is really a man named Evan Newlin and Cantis’ real name is Latius Varcus. I – Shepard, what’s wrong?” Garrus asked.

 _“Evan Newlin?”_ Jane asked.

“Evan Newlin. He’s Alliance. Was Alliance. Before he decided to throw it away for a payoff, letting his whole squad walk right into an ambush. What the fuck would Newlin want with me?” Shepard asked. “Hell, I was still in basic when he got his dishonorable and thrown in prison.”

“I don’t know, Shepard, but we know he’s on Omega. I’ve got something better for you though,” Garrus said.

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Shepard asked.

“That turian rushing to pay his bill and bolt is Varcus,” Garrus said before standing up and vaulting over the table.

Varcus looked back over his shoulder and threw a credit chit at the asari behind the counter before running towards the exit. Shepard stood so fast that the chair she was sitting in clattered to the floor. People in the restaurant began to turn towards the commotion just as Garrus jumped onto another table and used it as a springboard to throw himself at Varcus. Grundan Krul stood calmly as Shepard pulled out her pistol and made her way towards the two turians rolling around on the ground with fists flying.

People began to push and shove to make their way out of the restaurant while others moved back into corners. The asari behind the counter flared with biotic energy, preparing to use them on Garrus and Varcus.

“Council Spectre, ma’am, stand down. Call C-Sec and ask for Bailey,” Shepard said to her.

The asari nodded and let her biotics die down. Varcus howled with agony as Garrus slammed his head into the floor, breaking the spikes of his crest and leaving smears of blue blood behind. Shepard got to them just as Garrus was flipping Varcus over onto his stomach, pressing a knee into his back and pulling his hands behind him. Varcus growled at Garrus and Garrus grabbed the broken pieces of crest to use as a handhold and slammed the other turian’s face into the ground twice.

“Garrus, enough. Alright. You’re scaring the shit out of the costumers,” Shepard said crouching down next to Garrus.

“This man is crazy, get him off of me,” Varcus said to Shepard.

“Shut up,” she said.

“Please, you have to help me!” Varcus said.

Shepard put the barrel of her pistol against Varcus’ head and said, “I said shut up.”

Varcus fell silent, watching Shepard with hate filled eyes. A few minutes later Bailey showed up with three other officers. He took one look at the turian pinned beneath Garrus before his eyes slid to Shepard standing over them with her pistol out. He made his way straight to Shepard and stood beside her casually looking down at the restrained turian.

“Commander Shepard,” Bailey said.

“Bailey thanks for coming. Borrow your cuffs?” Shepard asked.

“Reynolds, give Shepard your cuffs,” Bailey said to one of the other officers.

“Yes sir,” Reynolds said before fishing out his cuffs and holding them towards Shepard.

Shepard nodded at Garrus and Reynolds moved to pass them to Garrus instead.

“Officer, please. He attacked me for no reason,” Varcus said twisting to look at Reynolds.

“If I have to tell you again, Garrus will be very displeased. You’ve already got blood all over this nice lady’s floor, I suggest you shut the hell up,” Shepard growled.

“Friend of yours?” Bailey asked nodding towards Garrus.

“Garrus Vakarian, former C-Sec Detective,” Shepard said.

Garrus took the cuffs from Reynolds and expertly slapped them on the turian’s wrists before pulling him to his feet.

“Former? That’s a shame. Looks like we could still use one like him down in C-Sec,” Bailey said.

“Sorry, Captain. Shepard would be lost without me,” Garrus said shoving Varcus towards the exit.

 _“There’s no Shepard without Vakarian,”_ Jane said.

“He’s right, you know,” Shepard said hoping the tint of sadness in her voice would be missed by the others.

Bailey chuckled and asked, “So… what happened here?”

“Let’s get him back to C-Sec and I’ll tell you all about it. No shots were fired, no one but him hurt as far as I saw. Have one of your men get a report on the property damages and send it to the Normandy,” Shepard said.

“Davis,” Bailey said.

“On it sir,” Davis said before moving over to the asari proprietor.

“Reynolds, Marcedus read him his rights and take him from Mr. Vakarian here,” Bailey said.

Garrus let go of Varcus as the two others each grabbed a hold of one of Varcus’ arms. Shepard followed Bailey and the others through the Zakera Wards and back to C-Sec. Bailey had Reynolds and Marcedus put Varcus in one of the interrogation rooms and guard the door. Shepard leaned against the wall next to Bailey’s desk while the captain sat on the edge. Garrus stood beside her looking smug; Grundan Krul stood next to him. Bailey’s eyes flickered to Grundan Krul, a batarian wasn’t a common sight on the Citadel and they generally weren’t associated with good things, especially by humans. If Bailey had a problem, he kept it to himself.

“Awhile back we found a list on a prison ship – Purgatory – that had a list of names of people who were interested in an auction that the warden was planning,” Shepard said.

“Purgatory, huh, yeah I’ve heard of it. Houses some of the worst criminals in the galaxy,” Bailey said.

“Yeah, well it also sells some of the worst criminals in the galaxy to people who are willing to buy,” Shepard said.

“You’re kidding?” Bailey asked.

“Nope. So, I was on Purgatory handling business when the warden thought it was a good idea to capture me instead. Planned to sell me to the highest bidder. After we dealt with the warden, we got his auction list,” she said.

“He was on that list?” Bailey asked nodding towards the interrogation room.

“Latius Varcus, under the alias Terlus Cantis. My sources told me I could find him here on the Citadel. Tracked him to the restaurant and called in Shepard. He recognized her, probably heard me say his name and tried to make a run for it,” Garrus said.

“I’ll be damned. Well, we’ve got him in custody now. I can bring him up on every charges I can possibly pin on him and with you word as a Spectre it won’t be questioned. Just say the word,” Bailey said.

“I’d like to question him first. See why the hell he was interested in trying to buy me. Who knows, maybe he’ll give us a whole other list of charges you can slap him with in the process,” Shepard said.

“You got it,” Bailey said nodding at the door.

Shepard started towards the door, Garrus and Grundan Krul beside her. The two C-Sec officers moved out of their way. The turian, Marcedus, dipped his head to Garrus. Garrus stopped and held his hand out to the turian.

“Marcedus. I remember you, you were just coming on right before I left C-Sec,” Garrus said.

“That’s right, sir,” Marcedus said taking Garrus’ hand.

“Hey Shepard,” Bailey said.

Shepard turned back to Bailey as he walked over to her.

“I’ve got to ask… when the call came in they said you asked for me by name,” Bailey said.

“Yeah well, aside from yours being only one of two names in C-Sec I know these days, you were nice to me on my first day back on the job,” Shepard said with a shrug.

“Huh, suppose I did tell you that if you needed anything to let me know,” Bailey said with a smile. “Glad I could help.”

Shepard pushed the controls on the door and walked inside to find Varcus sitting at a table, cuffs now keeping him chained to the table. Garrus moved to the right side of the room and leaned against the wall. Grundan Krul mimicked his posture next to the door. Shepard crossed the room and pulled out the chair opposite of Varcus. He lifted his gaze to stare at Shepard as she sat down.

“Care to tell me why you were on a list of people for an auction that was supposed to have me as the featured product?” Shepard asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You have no right to detain me. I want a lawyer,” Varcus said.

“And if I were C-Sec I might actually care. Listen, you can either be up front with me or I can leave you alone in here with the pissed off turian and our batarian friend. Your call,” Shepard said.

“He’s no turian. Not smelling like that; smelling like you. Might as well be a human if he’s going to be fucking one,” Varcus said.

Shepard glanced at Garrus who calmly pushed away from the wall and walked behind Varcus. The turian tried to turn his head to track Garrus’ movements but Garrus grabbed his crest and used his thumb to push into the raw, broken edges of Varcus’ crest. Varcus screamed in anguish before biting it off with a growl and trying to pull away from Garrus. Shepard forced her face into a neutral expression.

“Ouch. That looks like it really hurts. Let me ask you again, why were you trying to buy me?” Shepard asked.

 _“Are you seriously going to let him do this? Dawn, tell him to stop! This isn’t him, this isn’t who he is,”_ Jane said.

“It is now, and I’m not doing a damn thing to push him away. I don’t care if you think it’s wrong,” Shepard thought.

“I’ve got nothing to say to you, human,” Varcus said.

Garrus pressed his thumb against Varcus’ crest again, eliciting another pained cry and threatening growl from the other turian.

 “I don’t think he liked that answer. You want to try again?” Shepard asked.

Varcus was breathing heavily, his mandibles were pulled in tight against his face and his eyes had a particularly panicked look about them when he looked back at Shepard.

“Just kill me. It’s better than what they’d do,” Varcus said.

“Than what who would do?” Shepard asked.

Varcus tried to shake his head but couldn’t quite pull off the movement with Garrus’ grip. His mandibles sagged.

“Just kill me,” Varcus said.

Garrus started to move his thumb again but Shepard swiped her hand through the air above the table, signaling him to wait.

“Varcus, who are you afraid of?” Shepard asked softening her tone.

“I can’t tell you,” Varcus said.

Shepard glanced at Garrus who pressed his thumb against the broken crest again. Varcus howled in agony until Garrus stopped. Varcus’ head dropped forward as he panted to catch his breath.

 _“I can’t believe you’re doing this. Torture? Really?”_ Jane said.

“Hah, this isn’t torture. Tombs was torture. Talitha was torture. Look, it’s not pretty but he’s not exactly waterboarding the guy,” Shepard thought.

 _“You have changed…,”_ Jane said.

“The Dissension,” Varcus said so quietly Shepard almost missed it.

“The Dissension?” Shepard asked.

 _“I haven’t heard of it,”_ Jane said.

Varcus bobbed his head as far as Garrus would let him. Shepard looked to Garrus, he lifted his shoulder in a shrug. She glanced behind her to Grundan Krul who shook his head.

“Who or what is The Dissension?” Shepard asked.

“Turians… who think that humans never should have been given a place in galactic politics… who think that the First Contact War should have been the beginning, not the end of the turian-human conflict,” Varcus said.

 _“Fantastic, because we really need new fanatics to fight,”_ Jane said.

Shepard leaned forward and clasped her hands on the table before asking, “What do they want with me?”

Vacrus snorted in derision, “You’re the shining light of humanity; their savior. What would they do to save you? What lengths would they go to get you back?”

“How many are there?” Shepard asked.

“Don’t know. Enough to start a Second Contact War,” Varcus said.

 _“Son-of-a-bitch. You  have to tell the Council about this,”_ Jane said.

“Damn it,” Shepard said.

She stood and opened the door looking around until she spotted Bailey at his desk.

“Bailey, get me Councilors Anderson and Sparatus down here. Now. Tell them I said this is urgent,” Shepard said.

Bailey nodded before turning to his phone. Shepard closed the door again and started pacing the room.

“What are they planning?” Shepard asked.

“I don’t know, that wasn’t my job,” Varcus said.

“Then what is your job?” Shepard asked.

“To get you, and to recruit,” Varcus said.

“How many have you recruited?” asked Garrus.

“About seven-hundred in the last year or so,” Varcus said.

“Spirits,” Garrus said.

The room fell silent as Shepard paced the floor waiting for the Councilors to arrive. A few minutes later, the door opened and Marcedus poked his head inside.

“The Councilors are here,” he said.

Shepard stepped out and closed the door behind her. Sparatus and Anderson waited by Bailey’s desk. Anderson looked curious, but Sparatus just looked pissed. Probably because she had the audacity to call him away from whatever he was doing at the time.

“Bailey, I need another room to speak to the Councilors in private,” Shepard said.

Bailey pointed towards another door and the Councilors followed Shepard into the room. As soon as the door was closed, Sparatus started in on her.

“Shepard, you do not have the authority to summon us at your whim. What is the meaning of this? I was in the middle of business that far exceeds your usefulness to this Council,” Sparatus said.

 _“Bingo,”_ Jane said.

“There’s a turian in the next room who says he’s a part of a group called The Dissension,” Shepard said.

Sparatus’ brow plating twitched and his mandibles fluttered once before he forced them still.

“You’ve heard of them?” Shepard asked.

“There have been… whispers,” Sparatus said.

 _“You’ve got to be kidding?”_ Jane said.

“What is The Dissension?” Anderson asked looking between Sparatus – who now no longer met Shepard’s gaze – and Shepard.

“A group of turians who want to make war with humans,” Shepard said.

“Why am I just hearing about this? Do the other Councilors know?” Anderson asked turning to face Sparatus fully.

“Because it’s irrelevant, they’re nothing to be concerned with. I haven’t addressed the matter with anyone on the Council because it’s one insignificant group who hasn’t taken any serious actions,” Sparatus said.

“That isn’t your call to make, Sparatus. You should have brought this to the Council!” Anderson said, his hands balling into fists.

Shepard stepped forward and put a hand on Anderson’s arm urging him to calm down. Anderson pulled away from Shepard and walked a few feet away to pace the back wall of the room.

“I think it’s bigger than you realize, Councilor. He’s talked about there being enough to start a Second Contact War and they had active plans to purchase me at an auction the warden of Purgatory was planning,” Shepard said.

“Auction? Purchase you? What in the name of the Spirits are you on about?” Sparatus asked.

“I was recruiting someone on a privately owned prison ship called Purgatory, when the warden attempted to capture me. He had plans to sell me at an auction. We acquired a list of the names of people who were to participate in the auction,” Shepard said. “Among those names was an alias for the turian Garrus tracked down, Latius Varcus. The Dissension believes that I’m important enough to use as leverage against the humans, either to push us out of the Council and galactic politics, or to start a Second Contact War.”

“Were you a part of this?” Anderson demanded. “You haven’t wanted humanity to be a part of the Council from the start. You were against the idea of humans joining the ranks of the Spectres, and you have fought against Shepard every step of the way!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Anderson. I may not be fond of humans, you’re loud and abrasive, demanding – Shepard maybe more than most – but the decision to allow Shepard into the Spectres was a unanimous one and so was opening the Council to humanity,” Sparatus said. “I don’t have to like her or you to know that you’ve earned your place… or to be grateful for Shepard’s actions in saving not only the lives of the Council but the entire Citadel.”

For one very tense moment, Shepard thought that Anderson just might take a swing at Sparatus. She knew it would be disastrous if he did, but she was not going to get in the way again. Anderson spun towards Shepard instead.

“Where is he? I want to see him,” Anderson said.

“He’s in the next room. Bailey’s waiting to slap whatever charges I want him to on the guy. Other than mentioning the list to Bailey to explain why we brought him in, I haven’t spoken to anyone about this outside of that room yet. I had him call you as soon as we convinced Varcus to talk,” Shepard said.

“Who is ‘we’?” Sparatus asked.

“Garrus Vakarian and Grundan Krul were present with me while I interrogated Varcus,” Shepard said.

“Vakarian, good. I don’t know the other,” Sparatus said.

“The batarian?” Anderson asked.

“Batarian? You have a batarian working for you and you’re planning on destroying a relay in batarian controlled space? Spirits,” Sparatus said.

 _“He’s deflecting, don’t let him deflect,”_ Jane said.

“Yeah… I haven’t talked to him about that yet, so I would appreciate it if you don’t bring that up in front of him,” Shepard said.

“The situation is your concern, Shepard. I just hope you know what you’re getting yourself into,” Sparatus said.

“I’ll take you to Varcus,” Shepard said.

Shepard led them back to the interrogation room where Garrus had returned to his position against the wall. Varcus had his forehead resting on the table, fresh blood glistening on the exposed tips of his broken crest. Sparatus stopped in the doorway, sniffing the air around him, undoubtedly being accosted by the scent of turian blood. Anderson was unfazed, he walked over to the table and stopped next to the chair Shepard was sitting in earlier. He half turned to look at Shepard when she stopped next to him.

“You do this?” Anderson asked pointing at Varcus’ broken crest.

“No sir, I did,” Garrus said.

Anderson looked at Garrus and nodded before turning his attention back to Varcus.

“Look at me,” Anderson said.

Varcus slowly lifted his head. Shepard winced inwardly at the utter defeat in the turian’s eyes. Sparatus moved forward to stand on Anderson’s other side.

“Commander, I think it’s best that you and your entourage wait outside,” Sparatus said.

Shepard hesitated until Anderson nodded his head.

“Yes sir. I’ll be right outside if you need me,” Shepard said.

 _“That’s bullshit, the guy was trying to buy us on an auction, we have a right to be in there,”_ Jane said.

“Agreed, but they sent us out so we’re out,” Shepard thought.

Grundan Krul opened the door and stepped aside, letting Shepard exit first before following her out next to Garrus. He closed the door behind them and they waited just outside of the door with Reynolds and Marcedus. Davis had returned and was sitting at a desk beyond Bailey’s filling out reports. Bailey left his desk to stand with the small group waiting outside of the interrogation room.

“So, guess it’s pretty serious huh? Don’t think I’ve ever had to call the Councilors in here before. Heh. Don’t think I’ve ever even seen a Councilor anywhere that wasn’t the Presidium. Don’t suppose you can tell me what’s going on in there?” Bailey asked.

“Sorry, Bailey,” Shepard said.

“Eh, don’t be. If it’s that serious, I’m probably happier not knowing about it,” Bailey said. “Coffee while you wait?”

“That’d be fantastic,” Shepard said looking at Grundan Krul hopefully

“I’ll make it,” Grundan Krul nodded before crossing over to where the empty coffee pot sat.

“Today’s your lucky day, Bailey. He makes the best damn coffee in the galaxy,” Shepard said.

“Oh yeah?” Bailey asked.

“Definitely,” Shepard said.

A few minutes later and Shepard was smiling as Bailey moaned over the mug of coffee in his hands. She blew across the scalding hot surface of hers before taking a sip and making the same sound. This was even better, fresher than the grounds they had on the Normandy. Twenty minutes later the door to the interrogation room opened and everyone turned to watch Anderson and Sparatus walk out. Anderson opened his omni-tool and beckoned to Bailey.

“I’ve got a list of names I need you to run, you find any of them and I want you to bring them in and call us for questioning,” Anderson said. “Presumed armed and dangerous.”

Bailey opened his omni-tool and looked over the list Anderson forwarded to him and said, “I’ll get on it right away, sir.”

“And place Mr. Varcus under formal arrest for treason. He isn’t to have contact with anyone outside of the Council and a Council appointed attorney until we arrange for extradition,” Sparatus said. “And… it might be best to avoid having your turian officers be left alone with him.”

“Yes, sir. Reynolds, Davis, get him moved to a cell and I want 24-7 guards stationed outside of his cell,” Bailey said.

“Yes, sir,” Davis said leaving her desk to join Reynolds.

“Shepard, thank you for bringing this matter to our immediate attention. We’ve got to meet with the other Councilors. We’ll take things from here,” Anderson said.

“Of course, sir,” Shepard said.

Anderson and Sparatus walked out of C-Sec as Varcus was being led from the interrogation room. Shepard shook Bailey’s hand and thanked him for his cooperation before they left C-Sec as well.

“So, how about we actually go get something to eat? I’m thinking we can go to one of the other dextro-friendly locations?” Shepard asked.

“I’ll head back to the Normandy,” Grundan Krul said.

“Actually, I was hoping you’d join us. I have something I need to talk to you about,” Shepard said.

Grundan Krul studied her with expressionless eyes before nodding once.


	18. Chapter 17: I'm Not Sorry

**Chapter 17: I’m Not Sorry**

Shepard’s head hurt. It really, really hurt. So did her arm, come to think of it. She heard herself groan before she realized it was her own voice making the noise. She was moving… being carried by someone. Panic started to bubble up in her chest as she fought to open her eyes and found that she couldn’t. Frantic, she started to struggle, putting her hands against the chest of whoever had her and tried to push herself up. Pain lanced through her right shoulder but she ignored it.

“Be still, Shepard. You are injured,” a hushed voice said.

That voice. She knew that voice. Whose voice was it? She felt relief with that voice, and then just a touch of fear. Shepard pushed again and the movement stopped.

“Shepard, you must be still and quiet, there are others still looking for us,” the voice said again.

Thane. The voice belonged to Thane. Why was Thane carrying her? Where were they?

“Thane?” Shepard whispered her eyes finally starting to cooperate.

Her eyelids fluttered once, twice, three times but her vision was blurry and wherever they were it was dark. She could just make out the silhouette of Thane’s head and chest. He chuckled lightly when she said his name.

“Yes, now be still, you are not light in this armor,” Thane said.

“What are you doing? Put me down,” Shepard said.

“No, you are not ready to walk on your own,” he said.

“What happened?” Shepard asked.

He paused and she could see him looking down at her but it was too dark for her to make out the expression on his face. The movement started again, ratcheting the throbbing in her head up to a whole new level, making her rather glad he wasn’t going to put her down just yet. She moved her hand to her shoulder and her finger found two holes ripped in her armor.

“You were attacked by a group of turians. They are now dead and you are not, that is all that matters right now,” Thane said.

“Then who is following us?” Shepard asked.

Thane sighed and said, “More turians.”

“Jane? Jane what happened?” Shepard thought.

Jane was silent.

Shepard tried to remember what happened, the attack and how she ended up being spirited away by the drell assassin but she was coming up blank. She replayed what she could remember instead; maybe it would jog something loose.

Varcus. She remembered Varcus and his talk of The Dissension. Was that what this attack was about? She remembered calling in Anderson and Sparatus. She remembered leaving C-Sec and having a dinner with Garrus and Grundan Krul. She remembered telling Grundan Krul about the plan to destroy the Alpha Relay, and evacuating the Bahak System. She swore that she was doing everything that she could to protect batarian lives. He didn’t have much to say about that matter, and it struck Shepard as very odd, even for him. He only asked why it was necessary, and what she needed him to do. She remembered being worried about his silence, worried what he might be thinking and whether he was going to end up being a problem later.

 _“Jane?”_ Shepard thought.

She remembered telling Garrus and Grundan Krul about the Council’s decision to place trained representatives on the Normandy for the Bahak mission. She remembered teasing Garrus about how pleased he sounded at the prospect of spending time with Altiria Eraslius and him teasing her right back about James being her teacher’s pet. She remembered getting the message from Mordin just as they were leaving the restaurant. Garrus said he would talk to Grundan Krul and the two of them returned to the Normandy while she went to meet Mordin.

 _“Jane, gods damn it, answer me!”_ Shepard thought.

Mordin. Gods, how had she forgotten about the video with Jane proclaiming that Mordin had to die to cure the genophage. She remembered being so angry with herself and trying desperately to explain it to Mordin, but him not wanting to hear her explanation. He just kept saying that he understood, she didn’t need to explain. He knew what needed to be done. Mordin had walked away from her, leaving her holding the laptop under her arm and the OSD tucked away between her shoulder and her armor.

“Fuck!” Shepard said.

“Shhh,” Thane warned.

“Thane put me down, put me down. I have to see if it’s still there,” Shepard pleaded trying to pull off her gauntlet.

Thane stopped and put Shepard down, leaning her against a wall. Pain ripped through her left thigh when she put her full weight down. She swooned with the wave of dizziness that washed over her and for a moment thought she might be sick. Concussion, she thought. Definitely not her first, and most likely not her last. She fumbled with her gauntlets, swaying on her feet. Thane gently pushed her back against the wall and took over the task for her. As soon as her hands were free, Shepard was digging around under the rim of her armor. Her right arm wasn’t moving up as high as she liked so she had to switch to using her left hand, which was difficult to get at the right angle under her armor to search but finally she managed. She breathed a sigh of relief when her fingers found the OSD.

“Oh thank gods,” Shepard whispered.

“We should keep moving. Are you able to walk on your own?” Thane asked.

“I… yeah, just give me a minute,” Shepard said opening her omni-tool.

She frowned when she found all of her Medi-gel was already gone.

“Where’s my helmet, we can radio the Normandy. If we’re being pursued we can have back up here in a matter of minutes,” Shepard said.

“You weren’t wearing it when I found you,” Thane said.

 _“Jane what the hell happened?”_ Shepard thought.

Shepard frowned and looked at her omni-tool, the icon for messages flashed irritatingly at her. She touched the icon and the screen popped up with three unread messages from Garrus, two from James, and fourteen from EDI. Shepard touched Garrus’ name and then hit the command to call his omni-tool.

“Spirits! Shepard, where the hell are you? Why haven’t you been responding?” Garrus demanded the moment he answered the call.

“I don’t know, but I think we’re going to need back up,” Shepard said.

“Where?” Garrus asked again.

Shepard looked to Thane, his face now softly illuminated by the glow of her omni-tool. He gestured towards her omni-tool and she nodded, turning her arm so that Garrus could see Thane as well. Garrus’ mandibles closed in around his face when he saw the drell.

“We are in the Factory District of the Zachera Ward. Shepard was attacked by at least thirty armed turians, more are in pursuit. She was knocked unconscious, I believe she may have a concussion and she’s been shot,” Thane said in a hushed tone.

“Probably,” Shepard said.

“Was it The Dissension?” Garrus asked already on the move.

“I don’t know. I can’t remember. Last thing I remember is watching Mordin walk away,” Shepard said.

“Spirits, Shepard, that was three hours ago. We’ve been trying to find you for the last two hours after Vega and the others arrived. They said you messaged them and told them to meet you at the Normandy within the hour but you never showed up,” Garrus said. “Miranda is convinced that the Illusive Man had you abducted and Vega went to report your absence to Anderson. Half the Council thinks you’re AWOL the other half thinks you’ve been captured. They’ve got C-Sec scouring the Citadel looking for you.”

Garrus was at the Normandy’s airlock and half of the team was already gathered behind him including the Council Four.

“This isn’t a part of your mission, Vega,” Garrus said.

“Doesn’t matter, I’m going,” James said checking his thermal clips.

“We are under Commander Shepard’s command until the Council relieves us,” Altiria said. “It is our duty to provide her with the backup she has requested.”

“Shepard?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah, if they’re volunteering. I don’t know how many are out there and I’m out of Medi-gel,” Shepard said.

“I must move her, we’ve waited here too long,” Thane said.

“Alright, we’re on our way,” Garrus said cutting the call.

Shepard closed her omni-tool and slid her gauntlets back on her blood slickened hand. She pushed away from the wall and swayed again. Thane slid his hand under her arm and she held out a hand.

“I’m good, really. I just need to move slow if we can,” she said.

“Very well,” Thane said before crouching down and creeping forward.

 _“Jane damn it you’d better start talking. This had better not be one of your gods damn fits,”_ Shepard thought.

Shepard’s eyes had adjusted enough that she was able to make out the shipping containers stacked up around them, casting shadows over the area and keeping the dim strips of lights half way down the walls from reaching them. Shepard could hear movement echoing off the containers and warehouse walls, she listened carefully, tracing the sounds to the far end of the warehouse as she crouched and followed Thane. She could never be as quiet as him, at least not in full armor but she did her best and hoped that those pursuing her were making more than enough noise to cover her own.

They moved from shipping container to shipping container. Shepard pulled out her pistol and checked the thermal clip before moving to the next container. She heard a shot fired and ducked back into cover, pressing her back to the container and biting off a curse as pain lanced through her thigh. Thane was at the other end a shadow among shadows. Another shot fired and Shepard heard it hit the container she just left. They were trying to flush her out. She was bleeding they should be able to smell her, she thought. Maybe they were just being cautious, didn’t want to get too close to her until they could see her. She glanced back to where Thane was and couldn’t make out his form among the shadows anymore. Her eyes trailed up the side of the container and she caught the faintest movement at the top.

Shepard peered around the edge of the container and could see forms moving her way. She counted five based on the breaks in the lighting runners along the wall. She raised her pistol and waited a moment before peering out again. They had split up and one of them was heading right towards her. She waited, hoping to not give her exact position away until the last possible moment. The turian stopped to peer down between two other containers before moving forward again. Shepard pulled away from the edge so he wouldn’t see her. A few seconds later she heard a soft thump and peered around again. The turian lay dead on the ground, left in the aisle. Thane was nowhere to be seen.

A minute and two more random shots fired later and Thane appeared in front of Shepard sliding a hand over her mouth before she could gasp or scream from being startled. He moved his hand to her arm and guided her back the way they came. They made it down three more shipping containers when the overhead lights suddenly came on. Shepard winced and stumbled as her concussed brain revolted at the sudden onslaught of light.

“There, she’s over there!” someone yelled.

“Shit,” Shepard said trying to force her eyes to focus as she dove for the next shipping container.

The turian who spotted her wasted no time raining shots down on her location. She waited for a pause in the sparks flying from the shower of bullets hitting the container before returning fire. Her aim was leaving something to be desired in her current state; both shots barely grazed her target. Shepard ducked back behind the container and switched to something that required less precision. She pulled out her assault rifle and checked the thermal clip before activating her Incendiary Ammo. When the gunfire halted once more, she could hear the echoing sounds of people running to move in on her location. She glanced around and swore under her breath when Thane was nowhere to be seen once more.

Shepard moved as quietly and as quickly as she could down to the opposite end of the shipping container before peering around the edge. The coast was clear so she rounded the corner and crept down to the next edge. The asshole that had been firing at her was now lying dead in the aisle. She peered in all directions before cutting across the aisle diagonally to the next row of containers. She was trying to make her way back closer to where her crew would be coming in at and she could only hope she was headed in the right direction and not putting more distance between them and herself.

 _“Jane… please,”_ Shepard thought.

She continued to edge forward, moving from container to container and cutting across aisles drastically altering where the turians last spotted her at. Her head was throbbing and the bright lights were causing spots to dance before her eyes. Her shoulder and thigh weren’t feeling much better. She didn’t know how much blood she had already lost but she could feel the warm fluid pooled in her boot and making her under armor stick and pull at her skin around her chest and sides when she twisted at the waist. Shepard stopped and pressed her back to a shipping container, taking in slow, deep breaths.

“I AM KROGAN!” Grunt’s voice echoed off the walls.

“Hello, dead people!” Jack’s voice came in the wake of Grunt’s cry.

They were the most beautiful sounds in the world. Their voices were followed by the sounds of battle, a battle that she now knew she wouldn’t lose. If she could just make herself move again. The lights seemed like they were getting brighter and the room started to spin. Shepard squeezed her eyes closed again and resumed her deep breathing. She refused to pass out. Gentle hands cradled her head and her eyes flew open. Thane’s face swam before her eyes, he was frowning but for some reason she just couldn’t figure out why. He was covered in blood, so much blood. She didn’t know he had been hurt. Shepard’s vision tilted until she was looking at the ceiling, only then did she realize he had picked her up again.

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on her breathing but found herself focusing on his breathing instead. Carrying her extra weight was taxing him; she could hear the faintest wheeze from his chest when the sounds of gunfire and people screaming in agony paused long enough for her to pick up on the sound.

“Please don’t die this time,” Shepard muttered.

Thane looked down at her before she passed out.

“Shepard. Shepard. Need to wake up,” Mordin’s voice cut through the fog.

A bright light shone in her eyes and she pulled her head away from the source, sending a shooting pain through her shoulder and setting her head on fire.

“Not good. Pupillary response indicates concussion. Significant blood loss. No exit wounds. Apply Medi-gel now, remove bullets and debris later,” Mordin said.

“Why are you even talking about it? Just do it already!” Garrus said.

Shepard tried to turn her head to find him but Mordin tightened his grip on her chin.

“Stay still. Skull may not have been sufficiently healed from surgery. Impact location unknown, might have broken still mending bone,” Mordin said.

Shepard groaned and let her eyes flutter closed once more.

 _“Jane?”_ Shepard thought.

“I checked there first when I found her, there was a slight give,” Thane said from somewhere to her left.

Mordin made a tsking sound before saying, “Helmet would have prevented this.”

“I don’t know where it’s at,” Shepard said.

“Clearly not where it should be,” Mordin said before she felt the cool flooding of Medi-gel through her suits release.

 **“** Thane’s hurt, too,” Shepard muttered.

“It’s your blood, Shepard. And turian,” Garrus said. “What the hell were you even doing? How’d you know where she was?”

“It was chance,” Thane said.

“Right,” Garrus said after a spurt of fire from his assault rifle.

“I was returning to the Normandy when I saw a trail of turian blood. I followed the trail, and found Shepard unconscious and surrounded by dead turians. Others were coming; I picked her up and carried her away. I was cutting through here when she awoke again,” Thane said.

Mordin shone the light in her eyes again and Shepard let loose a string of expletives.

“Get that gods damn thing out of my face, Mordin before I shove it up your cloaca,” Shepard said.

Garrus laughed as Mordin sniffed with indignation and turned the light off.

“Need to monitor pupillary response,” Mordin said.

“It would be less painful if you used an icepick right now,” Shepard said.

Mordin opened his omni-tool and began scanning Shepard’s head.

“Excess pressure in the skull. Implants should be preventing that,” Mordin said before speaking into his mic. “Miranda, need you here.”

Shepard couldn’t hear Miranda’s response but Mordin didn’t seem to accept whatever she said.

“Fluid retention in Shepard’s skull. Faulty implants. Could just drill hole to release pressure,” Mordin said.

Shepard’s eyes widened and her hands clenched into a fist. She was even more concerned that not even that elicited a response from Jane. Surely she should be rambling about drilling and scraping.

“Not happening, Mordin,” Garrus growled.

“No need. Miranda’s on her way,” Mordin said.

They sat in silence while they waited. Shepard kept her eyes on Mordin, he watched her with the clinical scrutiny of a doctor until she mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’. His eyes softened and he gave her a reassuring smile.

“Don’t be,” Mordin said before turning his gaze past Shepard. “Ah! Miranda, good you’re here.”

Miranda knelt down in front of Shepard and opened her omni-tool performing her own scans.

“Damn it,” Miranda said. “It’s alright, Shepard. I can fix this.”

She did something with her omni-tool before gently pulling Shepard forward by the good shoulder and cupping the back of Shepard’s head. Shepard knew the exact moment Miranda felt the scar at the back of her head and realized what it meant. Miranda’s jaw dropped open and a look of confusion followed by panic brushed over her eyes. Miranda wasn’t one to let any emotion show that she didn’t want to be seen, so the look was gone as fast as it arrived. She tore her eyes away from Shepard’s and focused on what she was doing. With her hand on Shepard’s head she touched her omni-tool again and Shepard felt a jolt of electricity rip through her body.

“Son-of-a-bitch,” Shepard yelled through clenched teeth.

“Just a second more… there,” Miranda said pulling her hand away.

“What the fuck was that? I swear the two of you are torturing me,” Shepard said reaching for her head only to have Mordin slap her hand away.

“Recalibration… I’m… I’m sorry,” Miranda said.

Shepard knew that she wasn’t talking about the electrical jolt. Miranda was on her feet again, pistol out and biotics flaring as she moved back towards the sounds of battle. Within seconds Shepard could feel the pressure in her skull receding and with it some of the pain. She blinked her eyes a few times as everything around her seemed to dim. Mordin clicked his penlight on again and when Shepard didn’t through a fit, he shone it into each of her eyes.

“Better, but best you stay still for now,” Mordin said before he too was on his feet and drawing his pistol.

“I wanna shoot the bad guys, too,” Shepard grumbled under her breath.

“Spirits, woman, you killed thirty of them by yourself by the sound of things,” Garrus said. “Just listen to Mordin and stay down.”

“Fine,” Shepard said. “Oh look, Bailey’s here.”

Shepard watched as the area behind her team flooded with C-Sec. Guns turned towards her team and Bailey signaled them to hold fire. He spotted Shepard sitting propped against the low metal wall and made a beeline for her moving from cover to cover. Bailey crouched down in front of her, his fingertips spread against the floor.

“Shepard, Christ, what happened to you?” Bailey asked.

“Don’t know, concussion,” Shepard said pointing to her head.

“There must be at least twenty-five dead turians piled up outside and God knows how many more in here! Is this related to Varcus? Because I’ve got some bad news, Varcus is dead. Marcedus is MIA. I don’t know if it’s connected or not, but it looks like someone shot Varcus right in his cell and killed the two guards that were watching him,” Bailey said.

“You’re kidding?” Garrus asked.

Bailey looked up at Garrus and said, “I wish I was. The Council is pissed. I get the call from them that you’re missing just as I’m standing over Varcus’ corpse. Now I’ve got them breathing down my neck and half of C-Sec looking for her, the other half looking for Marcedus.”

The sounds of battle were ebbing and C-Sec officers were spreading out to secure the area. A few minutes later and the gunfire had ceased completely. Bailey helped her to her feet as Shepard carefully tested her tolerance for being upright. The last thing she wanted to do was pass out again. The pain was still there but she wasn’t feeling any nausea or vertigo so it was a win in her book. She looked around and saw the Council Four moving to her location, each pushing a captured turian in front of them with the barrels of their guns. Jack came sauntering back from behind the shipping containers a smug smile on her face. A few seconds later and Grunt came from the other direction smeared in turian blood. Samara wasn’t far behind him. Soon they were all gathered back at Shepard’s location and C-Sec was left collecting bodies.

Garrus slipped an arm around her waist and started leading her towards the exit. Bailey moved to Shepard’s other side and offered her his arm in support. She smiled and accepted the arm; shoving her pride down she let herself be grateful for the aid. Bailey motioned to a handful of officers who jogged over to take charge of the prisoners taken by the Council Four.

When they got back out of the Factory District and Shepard saw the massacre waiting outside all marked off with police tape she stopped in her tracks. Garrus looked down at her with worry but she just held up a finger and let her eyes roam over the corpses. She limped away from him and Bailey and hesitated over a pile of five or so corpses before she started pulling at the bodies.

“Shepard, what are you doing?” Garrus asked.

Shepard grunted in response as she tugged at the corpses. Garrus came over to help her until she saw what she was looking for. She grabbed ahold of her helmet and wriggled it free of the bodies. It dripped with blue blood. Jack stopped next to Shepard and held her hand out.

“Let me see it,” she said.

Shepard handed her the helmet and Jack created a thin layer of biotic energy around her hand before running it slowly over the surface of the helmet. The blood sluiced off as the biotic energy acted like a squeegee over the smooth surface. Jack handed the mostly clean helmet back to Shepard with a smirk.

“Neat trick I learned to get blood off my car, when I had one,” Jack said.

“Do I even want to know why your car was covered in blood?” Shepard asked.

“Probably not, Alliance,” Jack said.

“Well, thanks,” Shepard said tucking the helmet under her arm.

“You remember this now?” Garrus asked waving a hand around.

“Not really... just bits,” Shepard said.

“Will come back to you,” Mordin said.

“When it does, it would sure help get my ass out of trouble with the Council if you could fill us in,” Bailey said.

“Sure thing, Bailey. I’ll fill out a report as soon as I’m patched up and I’ve been allowed to sleep,” Shepard said.

“Thanks, Commander. I better get back in there. Hey, try to make it back to the Normandy without any more fights, will ya? I’d like to get some sleep tonight myself,” Bailey said.

Shepard chuckled and immediately followed it up with a groan.

“Sure thing, thanks again, Bailey,” Shepard said.

Shepard made her way back to the Normandy surrounded on all sides by her crew. She wasn’t surprised to find that James had managed to take up the position to her left and wrapped his arm above Garrus’ across her lower back. At some point she wasn’t doing much walking, they were barely letting her feet touch the floor. They got her back on the ship and took her straight to Dr. Chakwas who had already prepped the med bay and was waiting for her with a hospital gown.

“Shepard!” Lia said exiting the AI Core with Legion. “Keelah, we were so worried.”

“Shepard-Commander, you have been injured,” Legion said as his optics expanded and contracted.

“It’s alright guys, I’m going to be fine. I’ve had worse, trust me,” Shepard said taking the gown from Dr. Chakwas.

Garrus helped her out of her armor while the others left the room. She hissed when he gently pulled the fabric of her under armor away from her wounded shoulder. The bleeding had finally stopped with Mordin’s Medi-gel application but it had dried, fusing the fabric to the wounds. Blood began to trickle down her chest as the fabric pulled away the clotted blood. Dr. Chakwas was there with clean gauze and antiseptic wash. She began cleaning the wound and staunching the bleeding until Shepard was stripped down and sitting on her table with the gown draped over the other shoulder. Her thigh was a mess, skin and muscles torn to ribbons with what looked like pieces of metal and cement embedded under the skin.

“I can’t hear Jane,” Shepard said.

“Maybe she’s in shock?” Garrus offered.

“We’ll worry about Jane later, we need to take care of you now,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Garrus held on to her hand as Dr. Chakwas began digging around in her shoulder wounds. Shepard hissed through clenched teeth and closed her eyes. When the doctor was done she cleaned the wounds out making it feel like she was driving a hot poker into Shepard’s shoulder. Finally she slathered it with Medi-gel and covered it with a bandage before repeating the process on her thigh, which Shepard was displeased to find, was not any less painful. She listened to the sound of tiny fragments of shrapnel being dropped into a metal pan and tried to keep her breathing even. Dr. Chakwas took off her gloves and threw them in the pan with the bullets and shrapnel before running scans on Shepard’s head.

“Definitely fractured. Looks like the pressure is normalizing. You’re going to have one hell of a headache for a couple of days at least, but with your implants you should be back on your feet in no time,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“I need to be back on my feet tomorrow,” Shepard said.

“Commander, this isn’t going to heal that quickly, and not even your stubbornness is going to make that happen,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“Doesn’t matter, there are big things happening doc, and lives counting on me to do what needs to be done,” Shepard said.

“Why do I even bother?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

“Because you know without you I’d be dead for sure,” Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas smiled and patted Shepard’s uninjured leg before telling Garrus, “You can take her upstairs and get her cleaned up. See if you can convince her to at least stay in bed for the night. Give her two of these that should do the trick.”

Dr. Chakwas handed Garrus a bottle and he turned it over in his fingers reading the label and nodding. He slid his arm around Shepard and helped her down off of the table. When they made it to the med bay door it opened up to show James lingering around outside. He grinned when he saw Shepard in the hospital gown and moved to her other side.

“I can walk on my own,” Shepard said.

“And I can carry you if you don’t let us help,” Garrus said.

“Fine,” Shepard said with a sigh.

James slid his arm around Shepard and asked, “Where to?”

Garrus nodded towards the elevator and said, “Top deck.”

They got her up to her cabin and Garrus opened the bathroom door. James let go of Shepard and Garrus maneuvered her into the room and started the shower leaving her sitting on the toilet.

“We gonna give her a shower?” James asked.

“ _He’s_ going to give me a shower,” Shepard said.

“What I did all that heavy lifting and don’t get to help? Ah, c’mon,” James said.

Shepard chuckled. Garrus handed James the bottle of pills and said.

“Convince her to take two of these without her biting off your fingers and I’ll let you help get her undressed,” Garrus said.

“I will shoot you both,” Shepard said.

James shrugged and said, “How? You have a piece hidden under that gown; because I got to say Ídolo it might be worth it to see you draw a gun from under there.”

Shepard snorted while James filled up the glass sitting on the sink and sat it next to her before opening the bottle and dumping two of them into his palm. He looked at the label again before twisting the cap back on.

“Hey, c’mon, Ídolo. The doc gave you the good stuff. You won’t feel anything soon,” James said holding his hand out to Shepard.

She scoffed but took the pills from him. Shepard threw the pills into the back of her throat and chased them with the glass of water.

“If only that were true, James,” Shepard said.

“A dose like that for a little thing like you? You’ll be fine,” James said.

“The Cerberus implants altered the effectiveness of chemicals on her. The good side, it’s harder to poison her, the down side it’s harder for her to poison herself. She can barely get drunk and painkillers aren’t as effective,” Garrus said helping Shepard to her feet.

“Damn… well… yeah, I got nothing,” James said shrugging again. “I’ll get out of here. If you need anything let me know.”

“Thanks James,” Shepard said.

“De nada,” James said and left the cabin.

“Why does my translator lag so much when he talks?” Garrus asked helping Shepard out of her gown.

“He switches between two different languages a lot. Mixes them together,” Shepard said.

“Ah. Alright, you can’t get right under the water so I’m going to lean you against this wall and get in with you,” Garrus said.

“Mmmmm. Sounds good to me,” Shepard said with a grin.

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen,” Garrus said and chuffed when she stuck out her lip in a pout.

Garrus got Shepard cleaned up in the shower but despite his best efforts he wasn’t able to keep the bandages dry and had to replace them when she was out again. The painkillers were starting to kick in as he helped her into bed and crawled in next to her. Shepard looked over at the terrarium light and realized that sand and little stone caves had been put in while she was gone.

“Oh is my snake here?” Shepard asked.

Garrus glanced at the tank as he pulled the covers up over them and said, “I don’t know, Shepard. Get some sleep. We’ll check in the morning.”

Garrus stretched out against her side and wrapped his arm around her before draping one of his legs over her shins. Shepard’s eyebrows twitched even as her eyes fell closed.

“Are you pinning me to the bed, Vakarian?” Shepard asked.

“Shhh, get some sleep,” Garrus said.

And so she did, but it was not peaceful. The dreams came too soon.

Shepard was walking back towards C-Sec carrying the laptop tucked under one arm. The Citadel had quieted, at least the Zakera Wards as most people returned to their homes with the Citadel cycled to its ‘night’ mode. Automatic lights throughout the Citadel had dimmed and most businesses had closed down.

She stopped in her tracks when she heard a gun fire, her head snapped up and her eyes scanned the area even as she drew her pistol. A turian raced around the corner, leaving C-Sec with a pistol in his hand. He turned his head in her direction, his eyes meeting hers for a heartbeat before he bolted in the other direction. Shepard tossed the laptop into the dirt of the nearest planter as she took off after the turian. She didn’t get but a few steps when the C-Sec officer from earlier, Marcedus raced out of C-Sec in pursuit. He paused long enough to evaluate Shepard’s charging form as friend and not foe before running after the other turian.

They moved faster than Shepard and they had a head start on her. She pumped her legs harder trying to catch up. The turian disappeared around a corner and a couple of seconds later Marcedus was gone from her sight as well. Shepard heard three gunshots ring out and pushed herself even harder. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage and her chest was heaving, sucking at the air desperately trying to pull in enough oxygen to accommodate the sudden burst of adrenaline and cardio.

She slowed to a stop to press her back to the corner of the wall and peered around. She recognized the area; they were just outside of the Factory District. Marcedus was lying on the ground surrounded by a rapidly growing pool of blood. Shepard didn’t see the turian he was pursuing anywhere. She slowly edged around the corner and crept towards Marcedus. She crouched down to try to feel for a pulse when she realized she wasn’t even sure if she would find it in the same location as she would a human. Shepard cursed herself, how could she be in love with a turian and not even know how to check his pulse.

She stood up and moved down the wall to the next corner and looked in all directions. She strained to hear the sound of feet running or anything but all she could hear was her own heart pushing blood through her body. Shepard moved back down to Marcedus and tried to get a response out of him. There was too much blood for her to see where he was hit and she couldn’t get him to open his eyes. She wasn’t sure if his chest was moving or not, the lighting was dim enough to play tricks on her eyes. Shepard glanced around again and took off her helmet before moving her head to put her ear closer to the turian’s face.

He was still breathing. Shepard opened her omni-tool and loaded up her Medi-gel. She had three applications left and cursed herself for forgetting to refill on the Normandy again. She slid the cartridge into Marcedus suit and hacked herself into the suits release before activating the Medi-gel. The bleeding slowed but he was still unconscious, she closed the app and started to place a call to C-Sec to report an officer down when something hard slammed into the back of her head. Shepard’s arms flailed and she tried to brace herself but felt herself falling forward onto Marcedus. Jane was raging, pushing in Shepard’s mind as she lost consciousness.

And then… and then her eyes were opening again and she was pulling herself to her feet but something was off about it. She felt removed from the action somehow, like it wasn’t her making the movements.

 _“No! Jane, no! What are you doing? Don’t do this!”_ Dawn yelled.

“I’m saving us, Dawn,” Jane thought.

Dawn yelled and pushed, trying to force herself back into the position of control but found the effort completely futile. Then she heard the whispering. The insane sounds surrounding her just out of sight. _Who’s there?_ Dawn asked. **_We are. We are here. All of us._** The voice was masculine and somehow more solid than the others. **_She’s in here? She’s in here with us but she hasn’t died yet. How can she be in here with us?_** A feminine voice asked. **_Can’t be here, can’t be. Doesn’t work that way._** Still another voice insisted. **_Jane is gone! Jane is out there but we’re still in here._** Dawn was having trouble telling how many different people were speaking. She tried to turn her head to follow the sounds but even in her own mind she didn’t have that control.

 _“Jane! Jane let me out of here,”_ Dawn yelled.

“A little busy here, Dawn!” Jane thought.

Dawn watched in horror as she was surrounded by turians creeping out of the shadows and moving in on her. Biotics flared up around her but she couldn’t feel them, couldn’t control them. Her head throbbed somewhere in the distance. Dawn watched as her hand flew out and a Shockwave slammed into a handful of turians in front of her. **_I want to play. How come Jane gets to play but I can’t?!_** One of the other Shepards said. **_Because she figured out how to make it work. I don’t know how she did it, but you can bet your ass I’m taking a turn next._** One of the masculine voices said, this one sounded harsher, his tone almost cruel. _No, no one else is taking a turn. This is my body gods damn it! **Doesn’t look like you get to make that call anymore, Commander.**_ Another female Shepard responded.

The turians were piling up around her but she was taking hits. Jane circled around, getting into a position of at least partial cover before activating the Medi-gel release. _Oh gods. Gods. Jane let me out of here! **You killed Liara.**_ A feminine voice said. _What? **You. Killed. Liara.**_ Vehemence seethed in the other voice. _That wasn’t supposed to happen. **Damn right it wasn’t supposed to happen but you fucked up and now Liara is dead! Dead, Dawn. She doesn’t get to come back; she doesn’t get to live again. She was the love of my life and you fucking killed her!**_ The voice yelled at her, almost seeming to echo off the inside of her skull and rattle at Dawn’s teeth. **_She was my love, my lovely blue lady._** Another voice trilled gleefully. **_No, she was mine! She was mine first. Don’t touch her!_** More and more voices were pushing forward. Dawn was starting to feel frantic.

There were just a few turians left but Jane had already used the last of the Medi-gel and her shields where down.

“Damn it,” Jane said.

“Come out, Shepard. This doesn’t have to end with your death, but it is one way to get the job done,” a turian called out to her.

“Fuck you, asshole,” Jane said before popping out of cover and firing her pistol.

The shot tore through the turian’s civilian clothes. Jane couldn’t believe the idiots were coming after her without proper gear. Didn’t they know who the hell she was? The turian began to panic and slap at his chest as he burst into flames from the Incendiary Ammo. Jane smirked. Gods this felt good. Until the proximity mine she missed on the planter exploded, sending bits of metal and stone tearing through her armor and ripping up her thigh.

“Ahh! Fuck,” Jane yelled dropping back into cover.

She activated her Reave and wrapped the offending turian up in the swirling energy, revealing in the sensation as her biotics pulled the life right out of him and pumped it back into her. She stuck her head out long enough to fire off a few more rounds. Grinning as the sound of another body hitting the floor reached her ears. Jane pulled herself up and edged her way to the other end of the planter and peered around.

“All the little ducks lined up in a row,” Jane whispered.

One of the turians’ head jerked towards the sound of her voice and Jane shot him in the face. He fell back on his ass screaming in agony as blue blood poured out of him, sizzling with the heat of the Incendiary Ammo. The two others stood and ran, firing back at her as they went. Jane returned fire until they ducked behind cover. She waited long seconds in silence waiting for them to show themselves again. When they didn’t, she stood and ran the best she could on her injured leg for a better vantage point. They caught her out in the open, firing at her in unison. Her shields dropped again and two bullets slammed into her shoulder just before she made it to cover.

 _“Jane! For the love of gods, let me out of here!”_ Dawn yelled.

“Almost done, just two left,” Jane thought.

Jane inched forward, ignoring the sting of her injuries and peered around the corner. The two turians were moving forward, in on her position. Jane smirked and open fired, catching one of them in the chest and the other in the shoulder. They cursed and she ducked back behind the wall. Only one gun returned fire on her position as Jane pulled up her biotics around her preparing for a Charge. She ducked back out of cover and activated the Charge, slamming into the turian she shot in the shoulder and knocking him back on his ass. Jane fired at him twice more as he tried to scramble for the gun he dropped when she hit him. He didn’t get very far before he collapsed into a pool of his own blood. She turned and fired at the turian with the chest wound just for good measure.

Jane stood, chest heaving in the middle of the open hall. Nothing but dead turians surrounded her.

“Where the hell is C-Sec? Really? That much noise and no one is coming to see what the hell is going on?” Jane thought.

 _“Jane, gods damn it. Let me out, please, oh gods please let me out,”_ Dawn said.

Jane limped her way back to Marcedus. He was half buried under other dead turian’s now. She struggled against the burning and tearing sensation in her left thigh to knell down. Marcedus was still alive so she started to pull him free.

“What’s the matter, Dawn? You sound a little upset?” Jane thought.

 _“Fuck you, Jane! Fuck you!”_ Dawn yelled as she pushed her will against Jane’s.

“Are they making you feel welcome in there? It’s amazing. I can’t hear them at all. Finally, silence. Well, except for you,” Jane thought.

 _“Jane you can’t do this, the others will know,”_ Dawn insisted.

“Relax, Dawn. I’m going to let you back out… eventually,” Jane thought. “Right after I take care of a few things.”

 _“What things? What are you talking about? Jane. Jane answer me. What are you talking about?”_ Dawn demanded.

“Oh, I don’t know. I think it’s time Miranda and I have a talk about those control chips. Maybe I’ll have a little talk with Mordin about his little experiment while I’m at it, too. And Thane. Well, he’ll have to know that if he ever threatens me again, I’ll hand him his nuts on a platter. It’s funny that, now that I’m out here and you’re in there, I don’t feel much of anything for the assassin really,” Jane thought.

Jane heard something. Her eyes scanned across the area trying to find the source of the sound. Dawn raged away inside of her and Jane grinned at the sensation. Damn it was good being in control for a change. She pushed herself back to her feet and started to towards the sound but found that her legs didn’t want to move for her so well. She felt tired and weak; it felt like she had lead weights strapped to her legs and was trying to walk under water. Just like she was back in N7 training again.

“No…,” Jane said before she collapsed.

Shepard’s eyes flew open and darted across the room, taking in the soft glow of the terrarium and Garrus sitting on the couch across the room working on a laptop. Her head was pounding and she was sore all over.

 “Shepard?” Garrus said standing up and crossing over to her.

“Thank the gods. Ow. Ow. Ow,” Shepard said as she threw the covers off of her and sat up.

“You fucking bitch,” Shepard thought.

There was still no response from Jane.

“Hey, take it slow. Why don’t you get some more sleep, it’s still night cycle,” Garrus said.

“My head is killing me and I need to use the restroom,” Shepard said.

“Alright, let me help you,” Garrus said sliding a hand under her arm.

Shepard let him help her to the bathroom where she relieved herself and splashed cold water on her face. When she came out again he handed her a glass of water and two more painkillers. He waited while she swallowed them before leading her back to the bed.

“Why are you still up?” Shepard asked.

“I can’t sleep. Doing some research on The Dissension,” Garrus said.

“Find anything?” Shepard asked.

His mandibles flared and he shook his head.

“Will you lay down with me until I get back to sleep?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah, of course,” Garrus said moving to the other side of the bed and pushing the pillows around to get comfortable.

Shepard carefully rolled over enough that she could rest her head in the crook of his arm without putting too much pressure on her shoulder. She pressed her lips against the warm metal plating of his chest and he gave her a contented hum. She closed her eyes and let the sounds of Garrus’ breathing carry her back off to sleep.

            _“I’m not sorry,”_ Jane said just before Shepard slipped into oblivion.


	19. Chapter 18: Mr. Manners

**Chapter 18: Mr. Manners**

            The next morning Shepard woke to find that Garrus hadn’t moved. She was still lying against his chest and he was sound asleep. She still hurt all over and her shoulder was particularly displeased that she had stayed in that position for so long but she could already tell that the implants were doing their job. She carefully moved Garrus arm before clenching her jaw and slowly rolling over. Her shoulder had started bleeding again sometime in the night and soaked through the gauze. Red smudges were left behind on the sheet and on Garrus’ chest.

            “You’re bleeding,” Garrus said with closed eyes and a sleepy voice.

            “It’s not bad, stay in bed I’ve got it,” Shepard said moving to the edge of the bed.

            “You sure?” Garrus asked.

            “Yeah,” Shepard said with a groan as she pushed herself up.

            She stood still for a moment just to make sure she was going to make it on her own. Tentatively she shifted her weight to her injured leg and winced at the sharp, but bearable ache. She took slow, hobbling steps towards the bathroom and groaned inwardly when she came to the stairs. Shepard sucked it up and put her hand out to brace herself on the wall before dragging herself up the handful of stairs.

            “What the fuck was that?” Shepard thought.

            _“I saved your life,”_ Jane said.

            “You fucking body snatched me, Jane!” Shepard thought.

            _“You were knocked out! I had to do something,”_ Jane said.

            “OK, yeah, you got me back on my feet when I couldn’t but you _kept_ control long passed what you needed to. That was NOT alright. And then that shit about taking care of a few things, and what, taunting me over the others? The hell was that?” Shepard thought.

            _“I’m not apologizing. I pray to gods that you’re smart enough to put an end to this cycle so that you never have to know what it’s like to be trapped in here for so long. What you had last night – that was nothing, barely even a taste of what I’ve had to endure. So yeah, I had a chance to be free, even for just a little while and I took it and I SAVED YOUR LIFE!”_ Jane said.

            Shepard came back out of the bathroom twenty minutes later with clean bandages and minty fresh breath. She hobbled back down the stairs and over to her footlocker. The thought about trying to crouch down in front of it was utterly unappealing so she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the trunk around to face her instead. She dug out some clean clothes before moving over to the couch to get dressed. She was trying to not wake Garrus back up; he needed the sleep far more than he was willing to admit.

            “Never again, Jane. I don’t care if it damn well means I die. You do not take over like that again without clearing it with me first and you sure as hell don’t refuse to give me back my body when I tell you to!” Shepard thought.

            _“Yeah, sure,”_ Jane said after a moment of silence.

            “I’m serious, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            _“I’m aware,”_ Jane said.

            Once dressed, Shepard made her way back up the stairs and stopped in front of the terrarium. Kelly had set the tank up nicely, complete with a branch stretching up along the back wall. The thorned serpent had wound itself around the branch and appeared to be asleep. She couldn’t really tell since its eyes didn’t close but it wasn’t moving and didn’t seem to be tracking her movement. It was bigger than she thought it would be; the thickest parts of it easily as big as her wrist. She tried to gauge how long it was but with the way it was all wrapped around itself and the branch it was impossible to tell. She’d have to think of a name for it later. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if it was a male or female.

Shepard left the cabin and pushed the elevator call button. When the elevator arrived she took it down to the CIC. Kelly turned to the elevator as soon as it opened and smiled warmly at Shepard.

“The Council has requested that you contact them as soon as you are able and Captain Bailey of C-Sec has come by to ask about you,” Kelly said.

“Thanks, Kelly,” Shepard said.

Shepard moved past the galaxy map and towards the airlock. She stopped in front of the door and waited but EDI didn’t open it for her.

“EDI, get the airlock, please?” Shepard said.

“Uhhhh, no,” Joker said over the comm.

“Uhhhh, why?” Shepard asked agitation seeping into her voice.

“Anderson told me not to open that door for you unless you had an active guard assigned to escort you. Said people were trying to kidnap you and you’re injured. Dr. Chakwas backed up the order so, you’re out of luck,” Joker said.

“Gods damn it. Who’s still onboard?” Shepard asked.

“Ms. Lawson, Mr. Taylor, Mr. Grunt, Legion, Ms. Vael, Justicar Samara, Mr. Grundan Krul, and Mr. Vakarian are still onboard. Biometric scans indicate that Mr. Vakarian is sleeping. Shall I wake him for you?” EDI asked.

“No, don’t wake him. Get me Jacob and Grunt,” Shepard said leaning against the wall to take the weight off of her leg while she waited.

 _“Good choice,”_ Jane said.

“Shut up, just shut the hell up. I don’t want to hear you right now,” Shepard thought.

“As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said and then a moment later, “Mr. Grunt and Mr. Taylor are on their way.”

“Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

“You’re welcome, Shepard. How are you feeling today?” EDI asked.

Shepard blinked and turned to look at EDI’s hologram.

“Uh, I’ve been worse. Thanks for asking, EDI. How um, how are you today?” Shepard asked.

“I am functioning at optimum capacity. Thank you for asking,” EDI said.

“Yeeeaaaahhh… she’s been talking with Thane this morning,” Joker said.

“Ah,” Shepard said the conversation easing her tension.

“I am told that Mr. Krios saved your life last night. I found the behavior at odds with that of what is expected of an assassin and the interactions I have witnessed between the two of you aboard the Normandy. I wanted to better understand why he chose to risk himself to save you,” EDI said.

“Uh huh. Yeah, I suppose he did. What did you learn?” Shepard asked.

Shepard remembered that she really should be more careful what she said around EDI. Still, it didn’t seem that EDI had reported anything she had said to the Illusive Man. Or maybe Shepard was mistaken and EDI still was telling him everything but it was all just too crazy sounding for him to ask her about.

 “That just because Mr. Krios takes lives professionally does not mean that he has a complete disregard for life,” EDI said.

“Wise lesson. What else did you learn?” Shepard asked as a smile tugged at her lips.

“According to Mr. Krios your life has value, perhaps more than most,” EDI said.

“Um, could you repeat that please?” Shepard asked.

“Absolutely. According to Mr. Krios your life has value, perhaps more than most,” EDI said again.

Jacob walked up behind Shepard and checked his thermal clip before sliding his pistol back into the holster.

“He said that?” Shepard asked.

“What the hell would give him _that_ idea?” Joker asked.

“He did, but he did not elaborate further when I inquired as to what he meant,” EDI said.

“I see. Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

“You’re welcome, Shepard,” EDI said.

“EDI is saying you’re welcome now?” Jacob asked.

“It seems she’s been spending time talking with one of our more etiquettely inclined members,” Shepard said.

“Etiquettely? I don’t think that’s a word, Shepard,” Jacob said.

“Sure it is. Isn’t it?” Shepard asked.

“Uhhhh, no. Definitely not a word,” Joker said.

“EDI?” Shepard asked.

“The word ‘etiquette’ is an uncountable noun and as such has no other proper variations in usage, however, my databases show that the misuse of the word ‘etiquette’ as ‘etiquettely’ has been recorded six-hundred seventy-two thousand two-hundred and thirteen times,” EDI said.

“That counts,” Shepard said grinning at Jacob.

Jacob chuckled and said, “You’re the boss.”

The elevator opened and Grunt headed towards Shepard. As soon as he was standing with Shepard and Jacob the airlock opened. Shepard led them out onto the dock before Grunt stopped in front of Shepard blocking her path.

“You’re not wearing armor,” Grunt said.

“Grunt, I was shot twice last night and a mine exploded right next to my leg,” Shepard said.

“Exactly, and we’re supposed to guard you, right? Easier to keep you alive if you’re wearing armor,” Grunt said.

“I can barely walk, Grunt. I can’t carry the weight of armor right now. That’s why I asked for the krogan,” Shepard said with a wink.

“Humans are so soft. At least you fight like a krogan. Alright, Shepard. Stick with me and I’ll keep you alive,” Grunt said.

“You do kind of fight like a krogan,” Jacob said.

“Thanks,” Shepard said with a smirk.

Grunt took his guard duty seriously and insisted on growling at anyone who came within ten feet of Shepard while she made her slow way to the rapid transit. The pain level in her thigh was slowly ratcheting higher. He checked out the inside of the skycar before letting her get inside and then made sure she was secure before climbing in after her. Shepard suppressed a groan. Jacob took his job seriously in a whole other way. His eyes didn’t stop moving the entire time making note of anyone who looked to be paying too much attention to Shepard or who might be carrying a weapon. He stepped away from Shepard frequently to scout the area ahead and behind her. They got her safely to the Councilor’s offices and Shepard was directed to report to Anderson’s office. She made her way down the hall to Anderson’s office and turned to Jacob and Grunt.

“You guys wait out here, hopefully this won’t take long,” Shepard said.

“No,” Grunt said.

“What?” Shepard asked.

“No. I was told to guard you while you’re on the Citadel. You’re on the Citadel,” Grunt said.

“Grunt… it’s Councilor Anderson’s office,” Shepard said.

“No,” Grunt said again.

Amusement seeped through from Jane. Shepard sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Anderson’s secretary pushed a button and spoke into the comm.

“Councilor Anderson, Spectre Shepard is here to see you but there is a problem, sir,” she said.

“What’s the problem?” Anderson asked.

“Her, ah, _krogan_ guard is refusing to wait out here while she goes in to see you,” she said.

Shepard heard Anderson’s soft chuckle before he said, “That’s alright, Rebecca. Her guards can come in with her.”

“Yes sir,” Rebecca said.

Shepard nodded at the secretary and let Grunt lead her into Anderson’s office. Anderson crossed the floor to welcome them and Grunt growled at him.

“Grunt! No! For gods sake, that’s Anderson. I trust him. He’s like family,” Shepard said.

Anderson stopped a few feet away and stood at parade rest with an eyebrow raised. Grunt eyed the Councilor before stepping aside.

“Family can still stab you in the back,” Grunt said.

“Indeed. I don’t believe we’ve met, Grunt, was it? I’m Councilor Anderson,” Anderson said extending his hand to the wary krogan.

Grunt narrowed his eyes at Anderson before cautiously moving forward and crushing Anderson’s hand in his own. Shepard smirked because she knew that Grunt was testing Anderson, and Anderson’s muscles were bulging beneath his jacket as he gave back as good as he could. Grunt sniffed and dropped Anderson’s hand before looking around the office.

“Shepard, I’m surprised Dr. Chakwas let you leave the Normandy so soon. I thought we’d be meeting through video conference,” Anderson said.

“I didn’t ask permission to leave, sir,” Shepard said.

“Shepard…,” Anderson said.

“What? I’m not going to just sit around on my ass all day with all this crap going on, Anderson,” Shepard said.

“Christ woman, you’re going to be the death of me,” Anderson said.

He must have seen the heartache in her eyes because he moved forward and gently wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Grunt gave Anderson the stink eye but Anderson was not so easily dissuaded.

“Hey kid, it’s going to be alright. We’ll make this all work out,” Anderson said.

“I really hope you’re right,” Shepard said resting her head against his shoulder until he released her.

Shepard waved Jacob forward and introduced him to Anderson.

“Anderson, this is Jacob Taylor,” Shepard said.

Jacob held his hand out and said, “Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Pleasure’s mine. Well, since I’m the one that insisted Shepard had a guard I can’t complain that the two of you are taking the job seriously. That being said, I’m going to have to ask that if you plan to stay you agree that what you hear doesn’t leave this room. Will that be a problem, Mr. Taylor?” Anderson asked his eyes dropping to the Cerberus logo on Jacob’s chest.

“No sir, not in the slightest,” Jacob said.

“He’s trustworthy. Wouldn’t have brought him if he wasn’t,” Shepard said.

“Good. You were in the Alliance weren’t you, Mr. Taylor?” Anderson asked thoughtfully.

“I… I was, yes sir,” Jacob said.

“I can see it in you. In the way you carry yourself,” Anderson said.

Jacob dropped his eyes and said, “Yes sir.”

“Discharge?” Anderson asked.

“Voluntary honorable, sir,” Jacob said lifting his eyes again to meet Anderson’s gaze.

Anderson grunted and said, “Good. At least I know this Illusive Man of yours isn’t sending her out without proper backup.”

“He’s not my Illusive Man, with all due respect, sir,” Jacob said.

Anderson raised an eyebrow and Shepard smiled.

“That so?” Anderson asked.

“Certain things have been brought to my attention and I find that I am no longer a fit for the Cerberus organization. Once this collector problem has been dealt with, I will be giving the Illusive Man my resignation,” Jacob said with his head held high.

“I’m glad to hear that, Mr. Taylor. Will you be rejoining the Alliance?” Anderson asked.

“No sir, my reasons for leaving the Alliance remain valid regardless of my reasons for leaving Cerberus,” Jacob said.

“I see. Well, let me know if you change your mind. I’d be happy to get you set up with a recruiter,” Anderson said.

“I’ll keep that in mind, sir,” Jacob said.

“Well, we’d better not keep the rest of the Council waiting,” Anderson said.

Anderson led them over to the three hologram comms. They sprang to life showing the images of the rest of the Council when Anderson hit a button to activate them. Grunt and Jacob stood off to the side watching Shepard as she spoke to the Council.

“Shepard, it is good to see you are on your feet again. I see you’ve brought others with you?” Tevos asked.

“I insisted she have a guard while on the Citadel considering recent events,” Anderson said.

“I see, and this is her guard?” Tevos asked.

“I chose them from my crew,” Shepard said.

“Very good, then there is no concern over their loyalties?” Tevos asked.

“None at all,” Shepard said.

“Shepard, we need to know what happened last night,” Sparatus said.

“The events are still a little foggy, but I believe I recall enough to fill in the picture for you, sir,” Shepard said.

“Let’s hear it then, Shepard. I haven’t got all day,” Sparatus said.

“I was nearing C-Sec on my way back to the Normandy when I heard a weapon discharge. I drew my pistol and moved towards the sound. A turian exited C-Sec carrying a pistol and headed in the direction of the Factory District. I began pursuit. C-Sec officer Marcedus exited C-Sec in pursuit of the suspect, he noted my presence and continued pursuit,” Shepard said.

She shifted her weight trying to relieve the growing ache in her thigh before continuing, “I was unable to catch up to them before I lost a visual. I heard more gunfire and when I got to the location I found Officer Marcedus lying on the floor, shot and unconscious. There was no sign of the suspect. I moved down the hall to be sure the area was secure and when I continued to see no sign of the suspect I returned to Officer Marcedus and began to administer first aid.”

Shepard shifted again and winced. Anderson motioned to the chair at his desk and Jacob brought it over and sat it down next to Shepard. She grabbed a hold of the back of the chair and shifted her weight off of her leg.

“It’s for you to sit in, Shepard,” Anderson said.

“I’m fine, sir,” Shepard said.

“Sit, Shepard. That’s an order,” Anderson said.

“Yes sir,” Shepard said and sat down with a relieved sigh.

 “I was about to call C-Sec to report an officer down when I was attacked, hit in the back of the head. I was able to maintain consciousness long enough to fend off the attackers, receiving more injuries in the process. Once the area was secure, I returned to Marcedus to attempt further aid but with the drop of adrenaline I’m afraid I lost consciousness myself,” Shepard said.

Shepard paused to recount to herself what happened after that before speaking again, “It is sometime after this that I am told I was found by one of my crew, moments before more assailants moved into the area. The member of my crew carried me further into the Factory District, we were pursued. I regained consciousness and called the Normandy requesting backup. At that point, I was unable to recall the events that had just occurred due to the concussion. We did our best to stay in cover and avoid the assailants until back up arrived. I lost consciousness once more and was carried to the location of my team where first aid was administered. C-Sec arrived while shots were still being fired between my team and the assailants.”

“You’re certain it was Officer Marcedus who left C-Sec in pursuit?” Tevos asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Shepard said.

“How can you be certain? It was dark and by your descriptions you weren’t very close,” Sparatus challenged.

Shepard could feel Jane’s agitation growing with her own. She really did not like Sparatus.

“He looked right at me, sir and I was plenty close enough to see his face in detail while I was applying Medi-gel to his wounds,” Shepard said.

“Shepard, Officer Marcedus was not found among the bodies at the scene and he has yet to report to C-Sec,” Valern said.

“Then he was either removed or recovered enough to leave on his own,” Shepard said.

 _“Obviously,”_ Jane said.

“Are you certain that he was pursuing the suspect and not fleeing from the scene of a crime he just committed, Shepard?” Sparatus asked.

“There is no way for me to be certain of his actions prior to the moment I saw him leave C-Sec, sir, but it is my belief that he was in pursuit and not fleeing,” Shepard said.

“Why is that?” Sparatus asked.

“Body language, facial expressions, the fact that they didn’t stop to try to capture me, oh and he was shot when I got to him,” Shepard said agitated.

“You’re an expert on turian body language and facial expressions now, Shepard?” Sparatus asked.

“I wouldn’t say I’m an expert, sir, but I am sleeping with a turian and it has given me an advantage at deciphering the expressions of turians, yes,” Shepard said.

 _“Holy shit…,”_ Jane said.

Humor danced in Tevos’ eyes as she fought to keep her face neutral. Shepard heard Anderson’s and Jacob’s chuckles from behind her. Sparatus snapped his mandibles tight against his face with an audible click.

“Is this a joke to you, Shepard?” Sparatus asked.

“No sir, I’m just telling you what experience I have, sir,” Shepard said.

“It still stands that Marcedus being shot could have been a planned part of an ambush,” Sparatus said.

“I don’t dispute that, sir. All I have is my opinion to offer you on the matter,” Shepard said.

“And it is your opinion that this was related to The Dissension?” Valern asked.

“Yes sir. I do not recall any specific reference to The Dissension last night, but all evidence appears to point at them as being the responsible party. One did say to me that things didn’t have to end with my death, but it was one way to get the job done,” Shepard said. “I believe that to be in reference to the goals previously stated during the interrogation of Varcus.”

The Councilors looked at one another before looking at Anderson and nodded, Sparatus more reluctantly than the others but still in agreement.

“Thank you, Shepard. If you remember anything else please let us know,” Tevos said. “We have not yet questioned those arrested last night, we wished to speak with you first but Anderson will inform you of any relevant information pertaining to your personal safety obtained from the interrogation. We will inform Captain Bailey of his officer’s role in last night’s proceedings as you recall them.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Shepard said.

“There is one other thing, Shepard,” Sparatus said as Shepard started to stand.

She stopped and let herself relax back into the chair, turning her attention back to the Council.

“We assigned your four representatives specifically for the Bahak mission. They are not there to be ordered into combat at your whim outside of the Bahak mission,” Sparatus said.

“They volunteered, sir. James Vega and Altiria Eraslius were particularly insistent,” Shepard said.

“I see. Be that as it may, do try to keep in mind that these men and women are not your permanent assets,” Sparatus said.

Shepard clenched her jaw and said, “Of course, sir.”

The images of the Council disappeared and Anderson offered her a hand getting out of the chair. Grunt moved to her other side to watch Anderson.

“Well, he’s uh…,” Jacob said.

“An asshole?” Anderson supplied and Jacob laughed.

“Yes sir,” Jacob said.

Jacob picked up the chair and carried it back to Anderson’s desk. Shepard pulled the medication bottle out of her pocket and twisted the lid off. She shook a couple out in her hand and Anderson crossed the room to pour her a glass of water from a pitcher sitting on a table. She put the pills between her teeth while she put the cap back on and put the bottle back in her pocket. Anderson came back and handed her the glass, which Grunt eyed suspiciously. Shepard washed the pills down and handed Anderson the glass back.

“I’ve got to get off this leg. I’m going back to the Normandy but we’re not taking off for at least a few hours if you need me in the meantime,” Shepard said.

“Good, go rest Shepard. I’ll be thinking about that look on Sparatus’ face for the rest of the week. Wish I had recorded that,” Anderson said.

Shepard snorted and a thought occurred to her.

“Wouldn’t there have been a recording in C-Sec?” Shepard asked.

“Bailey checked it right away, whoever these people are they’re at least smart enough to turn off a camera before killing two cops and a prisoner,” Anderson said.

“Yet not smart enough to wear armor when attacking a Spectre,” Shepard said.

Anderson shrugged and said, “And they would have taken most Spectres with their numbers.”

Shepard grunted and started hobbling towards the door. Grunt moved out in front of her and Jacob stayed by her side. She had to stop at the end of the hall outside of the Counselors’ offices and lean against the wall for a minute. She was relieved when they finally made it to the rapid transit and the skycar arrived. The pain killers started to kick in on the ride back to the Zakera Wards but she still gladly accepted Jacob’s arm when he offered it to her in support. Grunt left Jacob to help Shepard into the ship once they crossed the airlock and his job was done. He headed straight for the elevator and disappeared inside.

“You want help up to your cabin?” Jacob said moving her slowly towards the elevator.

“I need to eat something,” Shepard said.

“I can bring something up to you if you want,” Jacob said.

“Yeah, that’d be wonderful. Thanks, Jacob,” Shepard said.

 _“Sooo… he said he’s leaving Cerberus, that’s good,”_ Jane said.

Shepard ignored Jane. Once they were in the elevator Jacob let her lean against the wall and pushed the button for the top deck.

“Uh, Commander, if you don’t mind. What I said in there, you think you can keep that between us for now?” Jacob asked.

“Sure thing, Jacob,” Shepard said.

“Thanks, ma’am,” Jacob said.

When the elevator opened up to her cabin Jacob slid his arm around Shepard again and helped her to her door. She hit the door’s release and the doors slid open. Jacob hesitated over the threshold.

“It’s alright, Jacob you can come in,” Shepard said.

Jacob crossed into her cabin but they didn’t make it very far before Garrus appeared at the foot of the stairs. His mandibles fluttered and he sniffed at the air.

“I’m just helping her up, that’s it,” Jacob said.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard laughed following it with a groan.

“He’s not concerned about that, Jacob. He’s pissy because I didn’t tell him I was leaving the ship,” Shepard said.

“You should have woken me up,” Garrus said.

“You were up half the night, you needed the sleep. Besides, I had Grunt and Jacob with me and the only place I went was Councilor Anderson’s office,” Shepard said.

“Shepard, I talked to Joker,” Garrus said. “I know you were trying to leave alone, unarmored and with nothing but your pistol.”

“Well, Garrus, I can hardly be expected to wear armor when I can barely walk! I don’t care what Grunt says,” Shepard said.

“That’s not the point and you know it,” Garrus said.

“Yeah, yeah. Can I sit down now, please?” Shepard asked.

Jacob started forward again with Shepard’s urging and Garrus climbed the stairs to meet them at the top sliding his arm around Shepard’s waist.

“I got her, thanks Jacob,” Garrus said.

Jacob let Shepard go and said, “Sure. I’m going to bring her something to eat. You want me to grab you something, too?”

“Hmmm,” Garrus lifted Shepard off of her feet and said, “Yeah, if you don’t mind. I want to keep an eye on her. She’s liable to go wandering off and get herself hit over the back of the head again.”

“Am not,” Shepard said. “Being shot is far more likely.”

Garrus chuffed and Jacob snickered.

“Sure, no problem. I’ll be back in a few,” Jacob said.

Garrus carried Shepard down the stairs and she pointed to the couch so he deposited her there. His laptop was still sitting open on the coffee table and the screen was filled with some report he’d found about The Dissension. Shepard let her head rest against the back of the couch and closed her eyes. The pain killers were making everything seem a little fuzzy around the edges. Garrus sat down next to her and pulled the laptop into his lap.

“I remember most of what happened last night. Marcedus wasn’t responsible for Varcus, though Sparatus is trying to make it seem like he was for some reason. Probably so he can downplay The Dissension,” Shepard said.

“What do you remember?” Garrus asked.

“Heard gunshots. Saw Marcedus chasing an armed turian out of C-Sec. He looked right at me; saw me with my gun out already moving after the suspect, too. Wasn’t fast enough, though. Not to chase down a determined turian with a head start. They rounded a corner and Marcedus got shot. Found him bleeding out. The other guy was gone so I was helping Marcedus when the others showed up,” Shepard said wriggling around on the couch to get more comfortable.

“Don’t know where he’s at now though. Council said he wasn’t found dead and he still hasn’t reported. I think he’s hiding scared, licking his wounds,” Shepard said.

“Guy wakes up surrounded by dead people, yeah I can see that,” Garrus said. “Jane has nothing on this?”

“Nope. This is all new. I mean, they’d have to have been a thing before now, right? We just disturbed the nest with Varcus, right? Stirred things up,” Shepard said.

“Hmmm. Probably,” Garrus said.

“Sorry to bother you, Shepard. Jacob is returning to your cabin,” EDI said.

“Open the door for him, EDI,” Shepard said.

“At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Thanks EDI,” Shepard said.

“You’re welcome, Shepard,” EDI said.

“She’s acting a little strange today, isn’t she?” Garrus asked.

“Mmm. She’s been spending time with Mr. Manners down stairs. I think he’s made an impression on her,” Shepard said.

“Mr. Manners? Krios? The damn assassin is making impressions on the AI? That’s going to end well,” Garrus said.

“Give him a break, Garrus. He did save my life last night,” Shepard said.

 _“I saved your –,”_ Jane started to say.

“Shut up,” Shepard thought, cutting her off.

Garrus chuffed and stood as the cabin door slid open. He moved to help Jacob carry the trays downstairs to sit on the coffee table. Shepard thanked Jacob and pulled herself to the edge of the couch so she could lean over the table to eat. Jacob left again and Garrus sat down next to her. After she finished she leaned back against the couch again and listened as Garrus read off what little he had found on The Dissension.

Shepard woke up to EDI’s voice. Garrus had shifted her to a lying position on the couch and brought a blanket and pillow over from the bed. He was sitting on the other section of the couch with his legs stretched out, feet resting on the coffee table. He was looking towards the door when she opened her eyes.

“Crap. How long have I been asleep?” Shepard asked.

“About an hour,” Garrus said. “EDI said Krios is on his way up here.”

“Let him in, EDI,” Shepard said.

Shepard groaned when she sat up and pushed the blanket off of her.

“I have to use the restroom. Be nice,” Shepard said.

“I’m always nice,” Garrus said.

Shepard snorted and made her way slowly to the stairs and then into the restroom. When she came out again Thane was standing in front of the terrarium. His head turned to the noise of the door opening, his dark eyes appraising her in her wounded state. Shepard could all but see the assassin gears turning in his head as he marked her weaknesses. Then something shifted and his eyes softened. Shepard made her way from the restroom, stopping to grab a hold of her desk for support.

“You want to talk you’ll have to come downstairs. I need to sit down,” Shepard said.

“Of course,” Thane said gesturing to the stairs.

Shepard moved past him and to the top of the stairs, she put her palm out on the wall to support her as she made her way down. Thane moved to her side and held his arm out for Shepard. She sighed and used it to brace herself, letting him take some of her weight as they moved down the stairs. Garrus glanced up from his laptop briefly. Thane helped Shepard to the couch and then moved to stand near the stairs with his hands clasped behind his back.

“What can I do for you, Thane?” Shepard asked.

“Forgive the intrusion, but I did not think you would be moving around already,” Thane said.

“She shouldn’t be, but she’s Shepard,” Garrus said his eyes still on his computer.

“Indeed. I wished to speak with you in regards to one of our previous conversations… if we might have a moment to speak in private,” Thane said.

Garrus looked up from the laptop again to study Thane who didn’t flinch under Garrus’ gaze the way most others would have these days. Garrus looked to Shepard and she nodded her head so he closed the laptop and stood. He moved to stand in front of her and then crouched down to look up into her eyes. Shepard put a hand on the side of his face and he nuzzled his face against it before kissing her palm. She hooked a finger under his chin and pulled his face towards her for a kiss before he left. Thane stepped aside as Garrus made his way up the stairs and out of the cabin.

Shepard balled up the blanket and laid it on the pillow to her right leaving the seats to her left and across from her open. She gestured to the empty spots but Thane continued to stand. She let him watch her for a minute before she grew impatient.

“Thane?” Shepard said.

“My apologies, I find this a difficult topic to address,” Thane said. “I spoke with the bankers…”

“They gave Kolyat the package?” Shepard asked when he trailed off.

Thane frowned and said, “They did.”

“Mmm. Have you come to try to solve the puzzle of how I knew or are you looking for what else I know?” Shepard asked.

Thane scoffed and scratched his temple before he spoke, “Again you appear to have me at a disadvantage. This is not a position I have often found myself in.”

“There is no disadvantage, Thane, because I have absolutely no desire to do you harm of any kind,” Shepard said. “Unless you plan to threaten me again, then we’ll see.”

Jane stirred around in the back of Shepard’s head. Thane looked at the floor in front of him before meeting her eyes again.

“I have not come to threaten… but I am prepared to plead,” Thane said. “I need to know where Kolyat is and this is apparently the most expedient method.”

“Well that’s a first. You don’t need to plead. I’ll tell you whatever I can but first, will you do me a favor?” Shepard asked.

“What is it?” Thane asked.

“I left my medication in the bathroom. I could really use it and a glass of water,” Shepard said.

Thane’s brows twitched and a smile tugged at his lips.

“That’s it?” Thane asked.

“What did you think I was going to ask you to kill someone?” Shepard asked.

“Perhaps. Of course, one moment,” Thane said and left to fetch her pills and water.

“Shepard, Dr. Chakwas orders were to take two every four hours as needed. Biometric scans indicated you recently took a dose when you returned from the Citadel. It has not yet been four hours since your last dose and taking more is not recommended,” EDI said.

“I know, EDI, thank you,” Shepard said.

“If you take more than the recommended dose, I will be required to report the matter to Dr. Chakwas as her orders supersede yours on matters of medical concern,” EDI said.

Thane returned and sat the glass down in front of Shepard.

“Yep. Do what you got to do, EDI. I’m taking the pills. And while you’re at it, tell her that I think she missed some shrapnel in my thigh. It shouldn’t still hurt this bad,” Shepard said.

“Right away, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

“You’re welcome, Shepard,” EDI said.

“You’ve got her saying that regularly now. Congratulations, your positive influence is winning out over Joker’s negative influence with the AI,” Shepard said.

Thane grinned and twisted the cap off of the bottle before extending it towards her.

“Two, please,” Shepard said reaching for the glass.

“Shepard, drell produce venom –,” EDI began.

“I’m well aware, and I have plenty of memories of the effect drell venom has on me – uh… I mean – Ah… drell venom has a decreased effect on me due to the implants and I, uh… just give me the bottle,” Shepard said.

Shepard reached out her hand without looking, afraid to meet Thane’s eyes as her face blushed as red as a tomato she imagined. Instead of the bottle, Thane placed two of the pills in her hand. Shepard glanced at him and mumbled her gratitude before putting them in her mouth and washing them down. Thane moved silently around the room, looking at pictures, medals, and model ships keeping his back to Shepard giving her time to compose herself. It was the first time she could recall that he had allowed her to be at his back for so long. The tingle of his venom on her lips and tongue did nothing to cool her racing thoughts. Shepard raked a hand through her hair and took another drink of water.

“EDI, will you give us some privacy, please?” Thane asked.

“Of course, Mr. Krios,” EDI said.

“What other drell have you met… or will you meet?” Thane asked.

“Kolyat and an agent of the Shadow Broker named Feron,” Shepard said.

            Thane turned to face Shepard, he paced towards her and stopped on the other side of the coffee table.

            “Kolyat? You meet him?” Thane asked.

            “Yes, I’m usually with you when you stop him from making this mistake… and then a couple of times after that,” Shepard said.

            “After that?” Thane pressed.

            Shepard cleared her throat and said, “He’s there when you… We both come to visit you before you… when you’re in the hospital.”

            “When I go to the sea?” Thane asked.

            Tears pricked at the corners of Shepard’s eyes and she looked away.

            “And then again when he asks me to host a memorial service,” Shepard said barely above a whisper.

“You said, ‘please don’t die this time,’” Thane said quietly. “I thought you were speaking of yourself… You were speaking to me.”

Shepard closed her eyes and a tear broke free to slide down her cheek. She wiped it away and sighed.

“Can we just focus on Kolyat?” Shepard asked.

“Of course… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Thane said.

Shepard turned back to him looking for signs of deceit or amusement in his face but found neither. Thane took a seat on the side of the couch Garrus abandoned; sitting on the edge with his elbows resting on his knees he clasped his hands in front of his mouth.

“Can you tell me where my son is?” Thane asked.

Shepard started to shake her head and winced.

“Not exactly, no. I know that once he gets the package he speaks with Mouse,” Shepard said.

“Mouse?” Thane asked dropping his hands from his mouth.

“Yeah, same Mouse you knew when he was a boy. Mouse sets him up with a contract to kill a politician named Joram Talid. He’s turian running for office with an anti-human agenda. A man named Elias Kelham wants him dead. It’s supposed to take place in the 800 Blocks of the Zakera Wards,” Shepard said. “You could talk to Mouse and see if he’s given Kolyat the assignment yet.”

“Thank you,” Thane stood up. “How long until you plan to leave the Citadel?”

“Not for a while. If I know you’re coming back, I’ll wait for you,” Shepard said.

Thane nodded and said, “My thanks. I will return.”

Thane walked away from her but hesitated near the stairs before pacing back a few steps. He stood with his hands behind his back and studied her before speaking softly.

“I’m sorry I did not have the answers you sought… perhaps, if it helps to recount the memories… I may not understand the context, but I of all people will understand the process,” Thane said.

“You believe me now?” Shepard asked.

“Your evidence was compelling, and I have given it much thought. Who am I to presume to understand what is within the power of the divine?” Thane said.

“Is that why you helped me last night?” Shepard asked.

Thane smiled and said, “It isn’t often that I am called upon to save a life. It pleases me that it was yours.”

Thane started up the stairs.

“Hey, that wasn’t really an answer to either of my questions!” she said.

“Indeed,” he said with a grin before disappearing from her sight.

Shepard listened as the door opened and closed.

“EDI?” Shepard said.

“Yes Shepard?” EDI asked.

“Please tell Garrus that he can come back now if he wants,” Shepard said.

“Right away, Shepard,” EDI said. “Mr. Vakarian is on his way. Is there anything else I can do for you, Shepard?”

“EDI… you listen to all of the conversations aboard the Normandy, don’t you?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Do you send those conversations to the Illusive Man in your reports?” Shepard asked.

The door to the cabin slid open and Shepard heard Garrus’ feet shuffle across the floor.

“Many of the conversations are erased before my reports are sent. I believe it may be a corruption in my programing. Would you like for me to diagnosis and repair the problem?” EDI asked.

Shepard smiled and said, “No, that’s alright.”

“Very well, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Hey, EDI?” Shepard said as Garrus settled in next to her on the couch.

“Yes Shepard?” EDI asked.

“Thank you. I appreciate your efforts to help make things easier for me,” Shepard said.

“It is my pleasure, Shepard,” EDI said. “After all, I owe my continued existence to you.”

“I’m glad I was able to help,” Shepard said.

“As am I,” EDI said.

“What was that about?” Garrus asked.

“My AI guardian angel,” Shepard said.

Garrus frowned and said, “I meant with Krios, but I’m glad EDI is looking out for you.”

“It really isn’t my place to say. He needed to ask me something personal about his life; I’d like to leave that private,” Shepard said.

“Hmmm. Fair enough. How are you feeling?” Garrus asked.

“Well, I got reprimanded by EDI for taking more pills too soon. And I suspect Dr. Chakwas will be paying me a visit soon,” Shepard said.

“It’s still that bad?” Garrus asked.

“The leg is. I’m starting to think she missed something,” Shepard said.

“You want me to look at it for you?” Garrus asked.

“If I’m taking my pants off for you, it’s not so you can look at my leg,” Shepard said.

Garrus gave a low, throaty chuckle that only made Shepard want to strip him out of his armor even more. He leaned over and nipped gently at her neck.

“I miss you, too, but I can wait and so can you,” Garrus whispered into her ear.

“I’m not so sure about that. Definitely not if you’re going to keep doing that,” Shepard said.

Garrus growled softly and nipped at her neck once more before pulling away. Shepard whined and he chuckled.

“EDI?” Garrus said.

“Yes, Mr. Vakarian?” EDI asked.

“Tell Dr. Chakwas that I’m bringing Shepard down to have her leg checked out,” Garrus said. “Oh, hm, please and thank you, EDI.”

“Right away, Mr. Vakarian and you are welcome,” EDI said.

Garrus grinned and said, “I kind of like her like this.”

“I really don’t want to walk down there; can’t I wait for her to come up here?” Shepard asked.

“I’m going to carry you, and no one is going to say a damn thing about it,” Garrus said.

He leaned in to nip at her neck again before whispering, “And you’re not going to fight me on it because I might be convinced to try some… lighter activities tonight.”

“Ohhh that’s not playing fair, Mr. Vakarian,” Shepard said.

Garrus stood and scooped her off of the couch.

“I don’t play to be fair, Shepard. I play to win,” Garrus said. “And with the way you smell right now, I’d say I’m winning.”

Shepard groaned and rested her head against his shoulder. He took her down to the med bay and sat her down on one of the tables. Shepard laid back and let him ease her pants down over her hips. Dr. Chakwas put on gloves and pulled the bandage away from Shepard’s thigh. She looked the wound over before gently prodding the area. Shepard hissed through her teeth.

“Sorry Commander, I know it hurts. Let me know if there is an area more sensitive than the rest,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Dr. Chakwas pressed around on her leg until Shepard growled and said, “There! That’s worse.”

Dr. Chakwas opened her omni-tool and started scanning the area. After a minute she frowned.

“I’m going to have to bring in Miranda. I’m not sure if what I’m seeing is a part of the implants in this leg or not,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“Fantastic,” Shepard said through clenched teeth.

EDI called Miranda and a few minutes later she walked through the med bay door. She made her way right to Shepard and opened her omni-tool and started her own scan before Dr. Chakwas even told her the nature of the problem.

“There,” Miranda said. “That doesn’t belong. Oh, and it’s in deep. Shepard, I’m so very sorry but we’re going to have to remove that surgically.”

 _“No, Dawn, no. I get it you’re mad, but please. Please don’t let them do this. Please,”_ Jane begged.

“It’s alright, Mordin found a way to uh, to uh shut down that part of my brain so there won’t be any screaming or prophecies this time,” Shepard said.

 _“No,”_ Jane whimpered.

“Prophecies?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

Garrus led Dr. Chakwas over to her desk and away from the table. Shepard couldn’t hear what he was saying but the look of horror on Dr. Chakwas face told her everything she needed to know. Dr. Chakwas looked back at Shepard before nodding to Garrus.

“I will consult with him first then… and involve him in the surgery if you would be more comfortable with that?” Miranda asked.

 _“Yes, at least don’t let her do it alone,”_ Jane said.

“It’s alright, I trust you to handle this,” Shepard said.

“You do?” Miranda asked.

“I do. We’ll talk about the other thing later, OK?” Shepard said.

Garrus and Dr. Chakwas returned to stand over Shepard.

“Yes, Commander,” Miranda said. “I don’t have the robotic equipment here so I’ll need to make a larger incision than I’d like and even with the implants you’ll likely have to be on bed rest for at least three days.”

 _“Oh gods. Oh gods. What it Mordin’s method doesn’t work this time?”_ Jane asked.

“What? No, no that’s not an option,” Shepard said pushing away Jane’s rising panic.

“I’m sorry, Commander but it can’t be helped. We can’t leave the shrapnel inside, it’s too large and the implants will force it out in a much slower, much more painful process,” Miranda said.

“If I may make a suggestion?” EDI said.

“What is it, EDI?” Miranda asked.

“I believe that if provided with instruction on what needs to be done that Legion would be more than capable of performing the surgery to the same standards, if not exceeding them, compared to that of the equipment you possessed for the Lazarus Project,” EDI said.

“That might work. I’ll need to provide him with the Lazarus Project records and he’ll need –,” Miranda started to say.

 _“Let Legion do it! Please, let him do it?”_ Jane begged.

“You can’t be serious?!” Dr. Chakwas said.

“EDI send Legion in, please?” Shepard asked.

“And why not? He has the level of precision that would be necessary to perform the surgery and the capacity to learn everything that he would need to know in a matter of minutes – seconds even!” Miranda said.

The door next to Shepard slid open and Legion moved to stand next to Garrus.

“Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

“This is crazy. Shepard are you sure?” Garrus asked.

“Positive,” Shepard said.

“Legion, I need you to perform surgery on Shepard. EDI can supply you with all of the information you need on human anatomy, and I can give you her health records,” Miranda said.

Legion’s optics contracted and expanded as his brow plates fluttered.

“Legion, do you think you can do that?” Shepard asked.

Legion turned his head back to Shepard before he answered, “Yes. We do not understand why we are being asked.”

“Because your platform will be able to perform the surgery with greater precision than an organic could, which will allow you to make a smaller incision and cause Shepard the least amount of pain and recovery time,” EDI said. “As well as a decreased risk of an error being made.”

“We understand and are willing to perform surgery on Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

“Spirits,” Garrus said.

Dr. Chakwas sighed and asked, “What do you need me to do?”

The next half-hour was a flurry of activity as Dr. Chakwas moved about making sure the room and equipment to be used was properly sterilized. EDI transferred data to Legion on a list of medical books Miranda listed off. Miranda left to talk to Mordin who insisted he be allowed to observe the procedure and monitor Shepard’s anesthesia. Once Legion had the information from the Lazarus Project and had identified the shrapnel on the scans he expressed a confidence rating of 99.4 %. Shepard was prepped for surgery and sedated.

Shepard blinked her eyes to clear the haze. She hard Garrus move beside her and carefully turned her head to see him sitting in a chair next to the bed. She smiled at him as he brushed her hair out of her face.

“Did he get it?” Shepard asked.

“Hmmm, yeah he got it,” Garrus said.

Mordin insisted that she remain in the med bay until the anesthesia had completely worn off, he warned her that since she had taken her medication shortly before being anesthetized, it could take longer than the last time. Shepard closed her eyes and let herself drift in and out of consciousness. An hour or so later Mordin woke her up and had her sit up on the bed. He shone a light in her eyes and asked her to follow his finger with her eyes as he moved it back and forth in front of her face. Once he was convinced that she was stable enough to get up he helped her ease off of the bed.

Shepard almost cried with relief when she found that she was able to put her weight down on her leg without it feeling like she was being stabbed from the inside. Garrus moved around the bed to watch her as she took a few steps to make sure she didn’t fall. She could slowly feel Jane’s presence awakening in her mind.

“Much better,” Shepard said.

“I never want to have to watch a geth slice you open again, so do me a favor and avoid the mines next time, will you?” Garrus asked.

Shepard snorted and said, “I’ll do my best.”

Shepard let Mordin run another scan on the back of her head before she got dressed again. She made her way into the AI core and found Legion standing still in the back of the room staring intently at something on the wall. He turned to face her when she came closer. She saw that he had been staring at the dried daisy that April had given to him back on Fehl Prime. Shepard smiled and pointed at the flower.

“That’s a good place for it,” Shepard said.

Legion turned his head to look at the flower and said, “Yes.”

“I wanted to say thank you, Legion. My leg feels much better and they’re not making me stay in bed for the next three days,” Shepard said.

“We approve of the opportunity to assist Shepard-Commander in continued pursuit of the old machines,” Legion said.

“Or as EDI would say, ‘you’re welcome’,” Garrus said from the door.

“Yes,” Legion said.

Shepard chuckled and shook Legion’s hand before heading out of the med bay. Content that she was doing better, Garrus left her to get some work done in the main battery. Shepard made her way to the CIC and checked her messages to see if the Council had forwarded her anything yet. A brief message from Anderson informed her that they had interrogated the men arrested the night before but were unable to obtain any new information from them at this time.

“EDI, has Thane returned to the Normandy?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, Shepard. Mr. Krios is in life support,” EDI said.

“Good, send a message to everyone on the crew telling them we take off in an hour,” Shepard said.

“At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Joker?” Shepard said.

“Yes Commander?” Joker said over the comm.

“So long as everyone is back onboard, go ahead and get us out of here in one hour. I’m entering the coordinates now,” Shepard said.

“Aye, aye, Commander,” Joker said.

Shepard entered the coordinates for the Bahak system and made her way down to life support. She rapped her knuckles on the metal door before hitting the release. Thane sat in the chair facing the observation window; he glanced over his shoulder as she walked in.

“I have been informed that the geth, Legion, performed surgery on you,” Thane said waving his hand at the chair across from him.

“EDI tell you that?” Shepard asked.

“Yes,” Thane said as Shepard sat down.

            Shepard shook her head and said, “I’ll have to have a talk with her about the necessity of keeping medical information private. Not that I particularly care that she told you, it’s the principle.”

            “You appear to be moving with greater ease; I take it the surgery was successful?” Thane asked.

            “Yep. The geth kept me from having to spend three days in bed so I’d call that more than a success,” Shepard said. “How’d it go, if you don’t mind my asking?”

            “I found Mouse, he swears that he has not had contact with Kolyat but promises to contact me if Kolyat reaches out to him. I spoke to a few others I knew on the Citadel as well, and they have agreed to notify me if they speak with or even see Kolyat. The Citadel is a big place, I fear it is the best that I can do with limited time,” Thane said.

            Shepard bit her lip and leaned back in the chair. Thane watched her curiously as she scrunched up her nose.

            “If you want to stay on the Citadel, I’ll understand,” Shepard said.

            _“What? No, something could go wrong. We need him,”_ Jane said.

            Thane chuckled and said, “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen someone make that face before. Thank you, but no, I have agreed to join you and I intend to be of service.”

            “You’re sure? Because I’ll be coming back to the Citadel after the Bahak system either way. If you want you could stay now and come back with me then,” Shepard said.

            Thane leaned back in his chair and tapped his fingers lightly across the surface of the table. Shepard leaned forward; she could see the indecision tearing at him.

            “Thane, go find your son. Make things right with him. We both know that you need this,” Shepard said. “He needs it, too.”

            _“And we need him. We can help him with Kolyat when it’s time,”_ Jane said.

            Thane dipped his head and said, “You continue to surprise me, Shepard. Very well, I will stay on the Citadel until you return.”

            Thane stood when Shepard did and extended his hand to her; she took his hand and he shook it gently mindful of her wounded shoulder. He didn’t let go right away so she left her hand in his.

            “Listen, if anything happens. If you get hurt or Kolyat gets hurt – or just whatever – get to Councilor Anderson and tell him that I sent you. Tell him it would be a personal favor, and that I said Jane trusts you completely,” Shepard said.

            “Completely?” Thane asked raising a brow.

His finger shifted across her hand to rest on her wrist testing her pulse. Shepard wondered if he even realized he was doing it.

            Shepard shrugged with her good shoulder and said, “Yeah. She’s not too happy that I didn’t hand you your ass when you decided it was a good idea to use physical intimidation tactics but she still trusts you.”

            “I see, and do you trust me… completely?” Thane asked.

            “No,” Shepard said softly. “It’s a little difficult to trust someone _completely_ when they don’t trust you.”

            She looked pointedly at his fingers resting on her wrist and Thane let go of her hand.

            “I’ve changed a lot of things since I became aware of Jane. The interactions you and I have had don’t mirror what she had with you. The foundation of our relationship is not the same, and I’m not even the same person she was… not anymore at least. Being aware of her, being aware of everything, it changed me, too. You might find this version of me to be completely obnoxious for all I know,” Shepard said. “But I think we’ll get there. You did save my life last night. That has to count for something. I suppose I didn’t actually thank you for that, so… thank you.”

            “You’re welcome; I’m glad I found you in time… and obnoxious is not the word I would choose. I find you, intriguing,” Thane said.

            Shepard felt herself starting to blush with embarrassment as the word ‘intriguing’ triggered Jane’s memories of flirtatious conversations with Thane. She silently cursed her fair complexion.

            “And colorful,” Thane said with a smirk.

            Shepard snorted and said, “Alright, alright. Get out of here. I’ll see you when we get back.”

            Thane dipped his head to Shepard before walking out of the room. When the door closed behind him she groaned and rubbed her hand across her face.

            “EDI, please notify Joker that Thane is staying behind on the Citadel for the time being,” Shepard said.

            “At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said as she headed towards the door.

            “You are welcome, Shepard,” said EDI.

           

 

 

 

 

           

 

           

           


	20. Chapter 19: Problems

**Chapter 19: Problems**

The trip to the Bahak system was giving Shepard a chance to relax a little and heal. James had taken it upon himself to keep her corralled and off of her feet as much as he could when Garrus wasn’t around. She was willing to bet good money that the two had conspired together because whenever one wasn’t around, the other surely was. Shepard couldn’t help the stupid grin that crept up on her face when James got frustrated trying to teach her how to play a game he called Malilla. It was supposed to be a four player game but it was just the two of them in her cabin.

Kasumi and Lia had made their way to Shepard’s cabin to see how Shepard liked her gift. Shepard had forgotten all about the little blue and white bag with everything that had happened that night. It didn’t take Kasumi long to find it tucked away in a draw in Shepard’s desk. She handed it to Shepard with a sly grin and told her that it was definitely appropriate to open in front of James. Shepard opened the bag and dug around until her hand hit something lacey. She pulled her hand back out of the bag leaving whatever it was tucked away inside before raising an eyebrow at Kasumi. Lia broke into a fit of giggles when the thief snatched the bag back and dug out the black lace nightie. James had whistled and suggested that Shepard try it on right away. Shepard rolled her eyes at the three of them and insisted that Kasumi put it away. James had convinced the two women to stay and play cards, insisting that the game was much easier to learn than Shepard was making it out to be.

Jack had even managed to find her way up to Shepard’s cabin to check on her, although, of course, she refused to admit that was what she was doing. She brought with her several sketches of phoenixes for Shepard to look at. Shepard was amazed at Jack’s drawing skills and together the two of them picked out their top three favorites. Jack left them with Shepard to make her final decision. James picked them up from the coffee table on his next check-in and asked what they were for. When Shepard told him they were tattoo concepts, he handed her one and insisted it was the right one. Shepard studied the image for long minutes, running her fingers over the flame-touched feathers of the reincarnated bird almost expecting to feel their soft touch, or the heat of the flames. She nodded her head; he was right. That was the one.

When Shepard failed to name the snake, which turned out to be a male, after the first day Garrus started calling it Spike and it just stuck. Shepard let him have the privilege of feeding Spike his first meal aboard the Normandy and they both watched in fascination as the snake stalked and then struck at its prey; its jaws crushing the skull of the white rat. Shepard cringed when blood trickled out of the rodent’s nose and eyes.

That evening, Shepard was more than a little shocked when EDI informed her Grundan Krul was on his way to her cabin. James raised an eyebrow and Shepard shrugged. EDI let Grundan Krul in he made his way to the top of the stairs to watch her and James in silence before accepting Shepard’s offer to sit down.

“Garrus send you to check on me?” Shepard asked.

“No, he just needed some space and I… thought we could talk,” Grundan Krul said.

“Alright,” Shepard said slowly. “James, you mind cutting out of here for a little bit?”

“You got it, Ídolo,” James said gathering the cards up off of the coffee table and stuffing them back into their box before heading for the door.

Shepard turned to sit sideways on the couch so she could watch the batarian sitting a few feet away from her. Grundan Krul sat on the edge of the cushion, elbows resting on his knees. He ran idle fingers across the glass surface of the coffee table before speaking.

“I don’t do well with communicating with others, but Archangel seemed to think that you needed to hear this from me,” Grundan Krul said.

The hairs on the back of Shepard’s neck started to stand on end. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Jane began to stir restlessly in the back of her mind.

Shepard finally filled the stretch of silence by asking, “Hear what from you?”

“Batarians, we aren’t… we aren’t close knit people. Family doesn’t hold as great of a meaning to us as it does to humans,” Grundan Krul said.

Shepard frowned trying to make sense of the batarian’s train of thought. She waited quietly while he worked through what he wanted to say.

“I’ve never been a part of the Hegemony. Never on Khar’shan; I lied. I was born aboard a slaver vessel and raised by my father and his crew. My father killed my mother when she tried to take me and leave,” Grundan Krul said.

 _“Slaver vessel…,”_ Jane repeated.

Shepard wasn’t sure what to say and she hated trite responses, especially in moments like these. She pulled at her lip with her teeth, tearing away bits of dry skin until she tasted blood.

“You said that your family died on Mindoir during a batarian slave raid,” Grundan Krul said turning to look at Shepard.

 _“Oh gods…,”_ Jane said.

She nodded slowly and said, “Yeah, I was sixteen when it happened…”

“Shepard, I was there. My father led that raid,” Grundan Krul said.

“You son-of-a-bitch!” Shepard growled.

Biotics flared around Shepard and she was on her feet standing over the batarian before the thought to move even occurred to her. He didn’t flinch away; he didn’t move or speak at all. He only watched her with those emotionless black eyes of his. She growled and forced herself away from him. Shepard walked across the room to stand at the foot of her bed. She pushed the biotics down, shoving Jane and the other’s rage away from her. She slid her Commander’s mask back into place and forced herself to stand at parade rest.

“You helped to torture, kill, and enslave innocent people… my family and friends… and you… you came on to _my_ ship… fought beside me?” Shepard asked.

 _“Kill him, he’s supposed to be dead anyway!”_ Jane insisted.

Her hands ached to wrap themselves around his throat and strangle the life out of him. Her fingers itched to pick up her pistol and pull the trigger. Her stomach twisted into knots. Biotics flared up around Shepard again as she struggled to keep them in check. Grundan Krul’s eyes tracked her movements, his face a tight mask of neutrality.

“I was fourteen. My father had been trying to groom me to take over. I wasn’t interested in it, didn’t want the job. He said it was because I was weak and beat me half to death more than once, as if that would change my mind,” Grundan Krul said.

 _“Garrus will understand,”_ Jane said.

The muscles along Shepard’s jaw flexed as she clenched her teeth. Conflicting emotions swirled around her mind, echoing back to her from Jane and the others. Shepard had trouble thinking about the voice as just Jane after having been trapped inside her own mind and hearing the others – _feeling_ the others so clearly.

“I saw… what they did to your people. I know what you endured. I watched it all from a distance, hidden away behind cargo crates. I ran away and hid like a coward in the chaos. My father and his crew were gone long before he realized I was missing,” Grundan Krul said his words coming a little faster. “I spent weeks hiding in the shadows and walking among your dead until a scavenger ship arrived. I stowed away on that ship and wound up on Omega.”

 _“He’s lying. You know he’s lying. Even if he’s not, he did nothing to help. Nothing to stop people from being taken,”_ Jane said.

Shepard watched as he stood up from the couch. They watched each other in silence from opposite ends of the room. Biotics danced and licked across the surface of her skin.

“What we’re going to do in the Bahak System,” Grundan Krul said.

“Has nothing to do with Mindoir,” Shepard snapped.

Grundan Krul held up a hand and said, “I know. You’ve done everything you could to ensure that batarian lives were spared in this. I don’t understand why. I saw what my people did to yours. I know the… the brutality of it all and yet you’re still doing something for them that they would never do for humans.”

Grundan Krul tilted his head to the left and watched her before turning to leave the room. Shepard watched him go in silence. He stopped at the top of the stairs and turned back to face her.

“If you want me off of the Normandy, I understand. I thought you should know, though that the one responsible for the death of your family is dead. I put the bullet between his eyes myself. Just ask Archangel,” Grundan Krul said before walking out of her cabin.

Shepard dropped her hands to her sides before collapsing onto her bed, hiding her face in her hands as soon as the door closed behind him. She shook with rage; with relief. Her body trembled with the sorrow of mourning those long lost and the heartbreaking image of a fourteen year old batarian boy surrounded by bloated, rotting corpse to escape a man who killed his mother and beat him without mercy.

Shepard sat on the bed for a few minutes doing her best to calm her racing thoughts and filter through the emotions; trying to decide what it was that _she_ really felt. Shepard stood and hurried out of the room, pushing the elevator call button before the cabin door could even hiss closed behind her. The elevator came and she took it down to the third deck where she made her way determinedly through the mess past the cryo pods and into the main battery.

“It wasn’t his fault, he was just a kid,” Shepard thought.

 _“He could have done something. Anything,”_ Jane said.

“Maybe… but he doesn’t deserve to die for that,” Shepard thought.

 _“No, I suppose he doesn’t,”_ Jane said.

Shepard stopped in her tracks when she found Garrus and Altiria half stripped from their armor and nuzzling into each other’s necks. Garrus glanced up calmly when the door opened but Altiria pulled away from Garrus with mandibles fluttering wildly as she snapped a salute. Shepard hadn’t seen terror on enough dying turians to recognize the look on Altiria’s face.

 _“Oh,”_ Jane said.

“Oh, sorry. I was looking for Grundan Krul. Did he come back here? Do you know where he went?” Shepard asked.

Garrus stepped away from Altiria to cup Shepard’s elbow.

“No, Shepard what’s wrong? Did he… did you two finally talk?” Garrus asked.

Shepard raked a hand through her hair and said, “Yeah, and I could have handled it a lot better. ‘Course I could have handled it a lot worse. Anyway, I need to find him.”

EDI’s console sprang to life, she spoke in a soft voice, “Mr. Grundan Krul is in the hangar, Shepard.”

“Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

“You’re welcome, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Shepard, are you sure you’re ready to talk to him? I can go instead,” Garrus said.

“No, I’m good. I’ve got this,” Shepard said forcing a smile she didn’t feel at the moment on her face.

She rose up on her tip toes to kiss Garrus’ mandible before gently pushing him away.

“You stay here and keep that pretty turian over there company,” Shepard said.

Garrus’ mandibles fluttered before he pressed his forehead into Shepards and turned back to Altiria. Altiria was still watching Shepard with wide eyes, frozen in salute.

“As you were, Altiria,” Shepard said.

“Yes – yes ma’am,” Altiria said.

Shepard stepped out of the main battery and as the door closed behind her she heard Altiria comment that she thought humans were more territorial over their mates. Shepard made her way to the hangar. It didn’t take her long to find Grundan Krul sitting on some crates starring at the Cerberus logo on one of the shuttles. His head turned to watch Shepard as she approached and she caught only a glimpse of the pain he was hiding before his features slipped back into a mask of neutrality.

His eyes followed her as she came to sit down on the crate next to him. She didn’t speak right away so he turned his attention back to the Cerberus logo. Shepard let her eyes rest on the orange and black diamond pattern as well. She took a deep breath and leaned forward on the crate resting her elbows on her knees.

“What happened? How’d he end up with your bullet between his eyes?” Shepard asked quietly.

Grundan Krul was quiet for so long that Shepard was starting to think he wasn’t going to answer. When he did, he spoke about the incident as calmly as if he were making an official debrief.

“They were taking a bit of shore leave on Omega. Enjoying the sights in Afterlife. He recognized me when he found me in the markets. I recognized him, too, of course but I didn’t think he’d seen me. I left the markets and found myself surrounded by him and four of his men. He wasn’t expecting me to fight back, but I wasn’t a child anymore,” Grundan Krul said glancing at Shepard.

“Still, they had me dead to rights… until they started dropping like flies around me. I didn’t know where the shots were coming from, but by that point I didn’t care. I saw my chance and grabbed my gun off the ground,” Grundan Krul said. “I half expected him to drop like the others before I could pull the trigger but he didn’t. He laughed and told me I was too much of a coward to pull the trigger. Told me I was no son of his. I swear he looked proud for just a second before his body hit the floor.”

Jane had stilled herself and was listening intently as Grundan Krul told the story of how he came to kill his father. The man responsible for the death of Dawn’s family, and the families of so many of the other Shepards. Shepard let out a slow breath and turned back to stare at the shuttle. Grundan Krul did the same.

“Garrus?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah, it was Archangel. He came sauntering down the alley a minute later with Mierin, Butler, and Weaver,” Grundan Krul said.

Shepard nodded and looked down at the floor between her knees.

 “I could have handled that better, back there,” Shepard said.

“You didn’t kill me so I’d say you handled it fine,” Grundan Krul said.

Shepard snorted and said, “I was tempted.”

“I know,” Grundan Krul said.

Shepard hopped down from the crate and turned to face Grundan Krul. She held a hand out to him.

“We good?” Shepard asked.

Grundan Krul shook Shepard’s hand and said, “Yeah, we’re good.”

Shepard left the batarian to his thoughts and made her way out of the hangar. Instead of taking the elevator up to her cabin she made her way to the cockpit to slide into the seat next to Joker. Without asking, Joker reached over and pushed a button on his console and the shutters slid closed blocking the stars from sight.

“I have to admit, Shepard, it was kind of nice to see someone limping around worse than I do even if it didn’t last long,” Joker said.

Shepard snorted and said, “Sorry to disappoint.”

“Yeah. We’ll be in the Bahak System in a few hours. You really going to blow up a relay?” Joker asked.

“Unless I magically find some other option,” Shepard said.

 _“There is no other option,”_ Jane said.

“Awesome. Well, at least it’ll give me a good chance to put my baby to real use pulling our asses out of there before we explode, too,” Joker said.

“If I do my job right, we’ll have plenty of time,” Shepard said.

“You take so much of the fun out of this for me,” Joker said.

Shepard smirked and said, “Oh but it makes it so much more fun for me.”

Joker made a face at her before turning his attention back to the console.

“These people down there, they’re all indoctrinated. As soon as they figure out what I’m doing, they’re going to fight against it. I don’t want to put the Normandy at risk for no reason so you’re going to hold back by the relay,” Shepard said.

“Yeah, yeah. So this is real, then? The reapers are trying to come through that relay?” Joker asked.

“Yeah. This will only delay them. Things are going to get real ugly before this is over,” Shepard said.

“Great,” Joker said.

They fell into a comfortable silence as Shepard watched Joker work his magic, keeping this ship on course. After a while, she left him with a pat on his shoulder and made her way to her cabin to pass the time responding to messages and filling out reports. When EDI told her they had arrived at the Bahak System. Shepard had EDI alert the Council Four.

“Commander, sorry to bother you but someone named Admiral Hackett is requesting to speak with you on vid-comm and he says that it’s urgent,” Kelly’s voice broke through Shepard’s cabin as she got her armor into place.

“Patch him though, Kelly,” Shepard said and moved over to turn on the screen at the back of her model ship display.

Admiral Hackett’s face appeared. Shepard could tell right away that he was agitated. The scars on his face had taken on a red hue in his distress. She saluted the screen and waited for him to speak.

“Shepard, I just learned that you are going to the Bahak System. The Council wouldn’t give me the details of your mission but I’ve heard the reports of a terrorist threat. Shepard, we have deep cover operatives there. Dr. Amanda Kenson is in a batarian prison in the Bahak System. They’re holding her on charges of terrorism. Shepard, I’ve known Dr. Kenson for a long time. I don’t know what’s going on with all of this, but she can’t be responsible. I need you to get her out of there,” Hackett said.

 _“We can’t go after Kenson with the Council Four with us. If we leave now, they’re going to want to know where you went and why. This will stain their reports to the Council. Just leave her, she’d only try to indoctrinate us anyway,”_ Jane said.

“Admiral, sir, the Council has placed four soldiers with me for this mission. There is nothing that I can do here that won’t be reported right back to the Council. Are you sure the prison wasn’t evacuated with the rest of the system?” Shepard asked.

“I’m positive, Commander. The Council would never approve of my co-opting you for this,” Hackett said rubbing a hand over his face.

“Sir, there is one option,” Shepard said.

 _“You can’t be serious? It’ll look just as bad if you send out a second team, Dawn,”_ Jane said.

“They’ll go after we’re gone. Garrus is good enough to make sure they aren’t seen and no one on from Cerberus is going to be in any rush to tell the Council Four anything,” Shepard thought.

“What do you have in mind, Shepard?” Hackett asked a spark of hope flickering across his face.

“After I take a shuttle with the Council Four, I can privately instruct others from my crew to make a rescue attempt for Dr. Kenson,” Shepard said.

Shepard watched as Admiral Hackett ran a hand over his face once more and sighed.

“You trust them to be discreet? If they see an armed team moving in, they’ll kill her. That is nothing to say of the potential political backlash if word of this gets out,” Hackett said.

“I do sir,” Shepard said.

“Alright. I’ll trust your judgement, Shepard. Thank you,” Hackett said.

 _“For your sake, I hope you’re right,”_ Jane said.

“Thank you, sir,” Shepard said.

“Hackett out,” the admiral said before the screen went dark.

“EDI tell Garrus to get to my cabin on the double,” Shepard said.

“At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

Shepard paced the floor in front of her desk waiting for Garrus. Two minutes later the turian walked in; the look on Shepard’s face had him studying her intently with his mandibles pulled in tight against his face.

“There’s a slight problem and I don’t have time to brief you on the details. Chose a team, no more than two and they need to be able to move quiet and follow your orders. Take a shuttle and go to these coordinates as soon as I’ve got the Council Four off the ship,” Shepard said sending him the coordinates Hackett forwarded to her console.

“It’s a batarian prison. You will go in as quiet as you can, find the Alliance operative Dr. Amanda Kenson and extract her with as little fanfare as possible. Getting in will be easier than getting out. She is indoctrinated, but will work with you to get out of the prison. Don’t let her know that you know. Once you are clear, restrain her well and bring her back to the Normandy. Miranda can help you figure out where to keep her. The Council’s deactivation team doesn’t see you come or go. The Council Four never sees her, never hears her, never hear about her. Got it?” Shepard asked.

“If she’s indoctrinated why are we saving her?” Garrus asked.

 _“See, he gets it. Why don’t you?”_ Jane asked.

“She has valuable intel on the invasion… and Hackett needs to see that she’s indoctrinated for himself,” Shepard said. “She’s Alliance, Garrus, even if her head isn’t on straight so please try to treat her as kindly as you can but don’t trust her. You need to be out of there before the shit hits the fan on my end.”

“I’ve got this, Shepard,” Garrus said.

“Shepard, we’re getting a docking request from the Council’s deactivation team,” Joker’s voice came over the comm.

“Permission granted,” Shepard said. “EDI tell the Council Four to meet me in the comm room.”

Shepard started to move past Garrus when he stopped her and pressed his mouth to hers. She made her way down to the CIC to meet the team of asari and turians flanking the asari captain boarding her ship. Shepard saluted the asari who introduced herself as Captain T’Vede before leading her to the comm room. The Council Four were already waiting, gathered around the table.

“Commander, thank you for having me aboard. I’m glad you’ve arrived, we’ve had some problems,” T’Vede said.

 _“What a surprise,”_ Jane said.

“What problems? Are you unable to deactivate the relay?” Shepard asked.

“No, everything is in order with the relay. As soon as your team is clear, we will finalize the process and ride the final wave out of the system,” T’Vede said.

“Final wave?” Shepard asked.

“When a relay is deactivated, it sends out a final pulse to release some of the energy it already has built up before the rings spin down and it stops generating a mass effect,” T’Vede said.

“OK, so what’s the problem?” Shepard asked.

“We have had small waves of resistance. Our ships have come under attack and there have been sabotage attempts to prevent the relay from being shut down,” T’Vede said.

“Batarians?” Shepard asked.

“In part, but that was to be expected. We prepared for that, we were not prepared for the human infiltrators we found meddling with the relay,” T’Vede said.

“Humans…,” Shepard repeated.

 _“Kenson’s team. That’s good though, right? More proof that they’re all bat shit crazy and trying to let the reapers through,”_ Jane said.

“Every few hours more come in from that asteroid. We were given strict orders to defend ourselves and the relay as necessary until you gave us the final order, but to otherwise keep our distance. They’ve been trying to sneak past our defenses in shuttles. Most of them flee when we power up the guns but once a group did get past us, they were shot on sight when they were found attempting to sabotage the deactivation process,” T’Vede said.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and thanked T’Vede for the intel. She told her to keep doing as they have been. Shepard was taking her team down right away and would notify her when they were ready to leave. T’Vede nodded and led her team back through the Normandy and to her own ship before making her way to the hangar.

“Assume that these people are indoctrinated. Do not wander off; do not leave your weapons behind under any circumstances. Keep your eyes and ears open,” Shepard said.

Shepard didn’t wait for the chorus of ‘yes ma’am’ and salutes before opening the shuttle door and ushering them inside. She banged her fist on the shuttle wall once the doors were closed giving the Cerberus shuttle pilot the all clear to issue the command to open the hangar doors.

“If they’re indoctrinated, will they have something like on Fehl Prime?” James asked.

“Most likely,” Shepard said.

 _“Object Rho is far bigger. Far more dangerous than the artifact on Fehl Prime,”_ Jane said.

Kirrahe opened his omni-tool and ran his hands over the screen. The screen morphed into an image of the reaper artifact that they found on Fehl Prime. He leaned forward in his seat so that it could be clearly seen by the others in the shuttle.

“This is an image of the reaper artifact that was discovered on Fehl Prime. Prolonged exposure to such an artifact causes indoctrination. The people who were in the research facility with this artifact were insane. They were performing experiments on themselves and abducted colonists,” Shepard said.

“Experiments doesn’t quite cover it, Commander,” James said taking on a more formal tone in light of the conversation and active mission.

“What do you mean?” Norisne asked leaning towards Kirrahe to study the image.

James half shrugged before he said, “It was loco; they were sticking parts ripped right out of husks and collectors into themselves. They had these rooms with dead people and husks piled up, rotting and stinking up the place and they just continued to work around it like it was nothing. They had cells set up in the back filled with people… Dios, children even, right next to a room with this thing in it.”

“They were doing it to themselves?” Norisne asked glancing at James.

James nodded and said, “Yeah. Like I said, completely loco. And they fought like rabid animals to keep us out. Kept saying they were going to save humanity.”

“Is this what we are to expect on the asteroid, ma’am?” Altiria asked.

 _“No, just a lot of crazy people with guns,”_ Jane said.

Shepard turned her attention to the turian and said, “To some extent, yes. We don’t have any reason to think that they have husks or collectors down there experimenting on themselves but when challenged, you can expect them to behave much the same way.”

“Orders on dealing with hostiles, ma’am?” Altiria asked.

“If things get violent, defend yourself and our team. When you shoot, shoot to kill because they will not show you mercy,” Shepard said.

“Yes, ma’am,” Altiria said.

“And if someone surrenders?” Norisne asked.

 _“No one will surrender,”_ Jane said.

“I doubt that will happen, but in the event, secure the prisoner for transport,” Shepard said.

“If you will allow,” Kirrahe said before drawing a dart gun to show Shepard, “I recommend knocking them out before securing them.”

Shepard nodded her head and said, “Sounds good.”

“Landing in five, Commander,” the Cerberus pilot’s voice came over the comm.

“Thanks,” Shepard said.

“Alright, be alert, stick together, and if you see anything unusual don’t touch it,” Shepard said.

People were gathering out on the landing platform as Shepard’s shuttle approached. She told the pilot to retreat to another location and wait for her to call him back. He lowered the shuttle to hover a couple of feet above the ground while Shepard and the Council Four jumped out. The shuttle rose up and took off as Shepard led her team towards the waiting researchers.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” a man in a lab coat asked Shepard.

“Council Spectre Commander Shepard. This system has been evacuated. Why are you here?” Shepard asked for the benefit of the Council Four.

“Shepard…,” the man said his eyebrows twitching in surprise. “We can’t leave. Not until the project is complete.”

“What project?” Shepard asked.

The man looked back over his shoulders where the small group gathered behind him whispered in excitement amongst themselves. He turned back to look at Shepard and nodded.

“Shepard, yes. You’ll understand. I’ll show you. Come,” the man said.

Shepard glanced at the Council Four who gripped their weapons close but kept them aimed at the ground. Shepard followed the man in the lab coat as the other researchers moved aside to let her and her team past. He led them through the shuttle bay and Shepard was uncomfortably aware that the other researchers were moving behind her team, following them inside. Her eyes moved upwards to take in the giant countdown clock looming over the facility’s entrance.

 _“Three days, twelve hours, twenty-five minutes, and twenty-eight seconds. You’ve gotten here early,”_ Jane said.

“Commander, we have found proof that the reaper invasion is far closer than expected,” the man said.

“What’s your proof, Mr…,” Shepard asked.

“Oh forgive me, how rude, of course. My name is Dr. Vincent Martinez. I’m afraid I’m filling in for our lead researcher, Dr. Amanda Kenson. She has been… unavailable for a couple of days. Anyway, we found something of great importance on the asteroid,” Dr. Martinez said.

Shepard continued to follow him into the facility, her eyes moved around noting the locked door to her right. Dr. Martinez moved down the hall to the left, the small group of researchers helped herd her team forward. The door at the end of the hall glowed green, indicating it was the only unlocked door in the area. They were leading her to the reaper artifact just as before.

 _“You’ve got to make him talk before you get to that artifact. They need to hear this from one of them,”_ Jane said.

“So what is it that you’ve found, Dr. Martinez?” Shepard asked.

The middle-aged man stopped in front of the door at the end of the hall and turned to face Shepard.

“We discovered a reaper artifact; we’re calling it Object Rho. The artifact has been emitting a pulse that has slowly been counting down the time to the reaper invasion,” Dr. Martinez said.

Dr. Martinez turned and opened the door before continuing, “I assume you saw the countdown above the entrance? When that clock hits zero, the reapers will invade through the Alpha Relay if we don’t stop them.”

“Dr. Martinez, are you aware that exposure to a reaper artifact can cause indoctrination?” Shepard asked.

“Oh yes, of course. We’ve been extremely careful, of course,” Dr. Martinez said.

He led them on through the next room and to the elevator. James gave her a questioning look and Shepard nodded her head. They stepped inside the elevator with Dr. Martinez. Norsine shared a wary look with James while Altiria kept her attention straight ahead. Kirrahe signaled to Shepard that he was ready on her command. Shepard signaled back to hold fire. She needed them to see everything this place had to offer, not just to be able to sufficiently convince the Council but to get whatever information they could since she never had the chance before… and to buy Garrus more time.

“Pardon me, doctor, but how can you be sure that this pulse is counting down to a reaper invasion?” Shepard asked.

“The visions, of course,” Dr. Martinez said as if it were really that simple. “That is why we’ve made plans to destroy the relay. We’ve managed to rig the asteroid so that it can be propelled into the Alpha Relay. It’s just waiting for activation,” Dr. Martinez said.

Shepard’s team adjusted their grips on their weapons and shared looks between one another.

“Dr. Martinez, why is your team attempting to sabotage the Council’s attempts to shut down the relay?” Shepard asked.

“Here, it’s just through here. Once you see it, you’ll understand everything,” Dr. Martinez said as they stepped off the elevator and he led them to a door.

It was the room Shepard knew housed Object Rho. Dr. Martinez set to work opening the door with his omni-tool.

“Dr. Martinez, why is your team attempting to sabotage the Council’s attempts to shut down the Alpha Relay?” Shepard asked again using her hand to signal her team to be ready.

The hall held a few other researches and armed guards. Some looked on curiously while others conversed quietly. At least the others hadn’t followed them down on the elevator. The door slid open and Dr. Martinez gesture towards the reaper artifact sitting squarely in the middle of the room. Black metallic pieces rose towards the ceiling, cupped together like a lotus with swirling blue light and black, wispy tendrils of something altogether alien and wrong licking out around the metal.

“Dios is that…,” James said.

“What in the name of the goddess is that thing?” Norsine asked.

“That ladies and gentlemen is a very large, very much unshielded reaper artifact. We will _not_ be going in there,” Shepard said.

“But you must. You must see the visions. You must understand what is to come so that you can understand why we must let it happen!” Dr. Martinez said.

“Just to be clear, you want me to go in there with a reaper artifact so that I can get visions of an imminent reaper invasions so that I will understand why we should _not_ stop the reaper invasion?” Shepard asked.

James and the rest of the Council Four shifted, raising their guns slightly.

“Yes, exactly. You will see why this is necessary. The reapers can’t be –,” Dr. Martinez said.

“I’m afraid I can’t allow that to happen, Dr. Martinez. Your team has clearly become indoctrinated by the artifact. I must insist that you turn this project and all the information that you have over to me at once,” Shepard said.

“They’re coming, Shepard! They’re coming and you have been promised a reprieve if only you’ll listen. Go, go inside. Let them show you. You’ll see this is the only –,” Dr. Martinez said.

Shepard cut him off by punching him in the nose. Dr. Martinez stumbled back, blood pouring from his nose as Shepard drew her pistol and leveled it at the doctor. James and Altiria turned to point their guns at the men standing near the elevator while Norsine and Kirrahe turned theirs on the men standing at the other end of the hall.

“This is your last chance. Surrender and you will not be harmed,” Shepard said.

 _“Great showmanship. You know damn well they aren’t going to surrender,”_ Jane said.

Dr. Martinez snarled and launched himself at Shepard. She pulled the trigger on her pistol twice, catching the doctor in the chest and he fell to the ground. The other researchers fled while the guards drew their weapons and began firing on Shepard and her team. Norsine sent a Shockwave down the hall, knocking them on their asses before Kirrahe set them on fire with an Incinerate. James and Altiria opened fire on the ones by the elevator. As soon as they were down more were piling in through the door at the other end of the hall.

“Uhhh, Shepard, we have a problem,” James said pulling Shepard’s attention to the artifact.

Armed men were making their way around the artifact toward Shepard and her team but James was clearly more concerned with the black tendrils that were pushing themselves out past the artifact, twisting through the air and coming straight for her and her team.

 _“The others won’t be able to resist, you’ve got to get them out of here!”_ Jane yelled.

“Down the hall! Move! Move!” Shepard yelled.

“Do not resist. Give yourself over and be spared,” the ominous voice resonated from Object Rho.

“Spirits,” Altiria said.

Shepard and James forced their way through the wall of guards spilling out of the door at the end of the hall while the others defended their flank. They were getting hit hard, but they held it together long enough to push into the next room and lock the door behind them. Shepard ordered her team into cover as they continued to fight off the guards who threw themselves at Shepard’s team relentlessly. Kirrahe kept the door locked thwarting the attempts of the guards on the other side to make their way in. Norsine used her Singularity to tie up as many of the guards as she could, making them easy targets for the rest. Whenever they got too close, Shepard used her Shockwave to push them back again. James filled the air with a spray of bullets while Altiria took her time to aim before each pull of the trigger. The turian was well trained and damned effective, everything Shepard expected from the turian military.

They pushed the guards back and advanced further into the room, sticking to cover as much as they could until the flow of new guards slowed to a trickle and the corpses littered the floor. Shepard moved up to the door and pressed her back to the wall before peering into the next area. It led into another hall. She was coming in from a different area and was having trouble matching up Jane’s memories to her current location. Shepard waved Altiria forward. The turian jogged down the hall, trusting Shepard to provide covering fire as needed. She stopped at the first door and hacked her way in.

“Clear,” Altiria called back over her shoulder before moving to the next door.

Shepard waved Norisne forward, signaling her to move to the room Altiria already cleared and hold that position. Altiria called out the all clear for the next room and Shepard waved James forward. Altiria moved to the next door as Shepard and Kirrahe made their way down the hall after her. Shepard pressed her back against the wall next to the last door with Altiria on the other side. Kirrahe took cover behind a support beam. Shepard nodded and Altiria hacked her way through the final door. It opened up into another hall already filled with guards taking cover behind crates staggered through the hall.

Shepard and Altiria open fired on the guards and Shepard waved to Kirrahe who moved to her position to wait for her signal. As soon as there was a pause in the fire from the hall, Shepard signaled to Kirrahe who ducked low and ran into the hall to take cover behind a crate. They repeated this for the others until all of her crew had pushed into the hall and taken ground from the guards. The few remaining guards began to panic and retreated back down the hall into the next room, closing the door behind them.

“EDI, can you read me?” Shepard spoke into her mic.

“Yes, Shepard,” EDI’s voice came through.

“EDI, I need you to copy whatever you can from the terminals in this place,” Shepard said.

“At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

Shepard pushed forward and gave the signal for Altiria to open the door. The guards were set up directly across from the door, tucked behind crates and protected on one side by a metal support that angled down from the ceiling. More filled the room to the left. Shepard thought she recognized the room. A console formed a horseshoe in the center and she could see security monitors and video logs paused on the screens. Shepard activated her biotic Charge and slammed into one of the guards across from the door. When a second guard turned to fire on her, he was hit with three shots from her team before dropping to the ground. Shepard finished off the first guard and pressed her back to the support beam before firing at the guards on the other side of the console. Kirrahe made his way to her side when there was an opening, switching between Incinerate and pistol as he went.

“Get to that console when you have an opening and defend it. If the four of you are going to be able to speak in my favor, you need to see whatever information they have here,” Shepard said over the comm.

“Easy enough,” Kirrahe said from beside her before using a Cryo Blast to snap freeze a guard.

James sprayed the frozen guard with his assault rifle, shattering him completely. Altiria crouched down low behind a crate and made her way to the edge. Shepard and Norsine provided the turian with cover fire while she bolted to the next crate. Altiria was determined to fulfill Shepard’s orders and protect that console. Norsine threw up a Singularity next to the console on the right, tripping up two guards and making four others back away from the console. James and Kirrahe fired at the guards suspended midair by the glowing blue orb. Altiria ran for the console, getting tagged by a guard twice before she dropped to her side and slid feet first behind the horseshoe cover. It reminded Shepard of that old game they still played on Earth.

“Shields are down,” Altiria said.

Altiria stayed down long enough for her shields to recover before popping out of cover and returning fire. Shepard didn’t like her being out there alone, stranded on an island surrounded by enemies no matter how good the turian was. She signaled to Kirrahe and he nodded before making his way to the nearest crate and inching his way towards Altiria’s location. James peppered the air above the console with bullets discouraging interlopers.

“Vega, cover me, I’m pushing forward. Norsine, get to that console once they’re on me,” Shepard ordered.

She didn’t wait for confirmation before activating her biotic Charge, angling herself past the console to slam into the nearest guard. There wasn’t much cover on this side of the room, and the door next to her opened up letting in a few more guards. One of them exploded a few feet away from her as Kirrahe used and Incinerate on the pyro tank the guard had strapped to her back. Shepard punched an engineer in the face before shooting him in the chest. Another was on her before she could turn around and she elbowed him in the face. She heard the rapid fire rapport of James’ assault rifle tearing through the shields of those advancing on her location.

“He wants her alive,” one of the guards said. “Grab her! Grab her!”

She caught a glimpse of James charging forward as she turned to shoot another guard in the head. His helmet deflected the bullet but it rang his bell enough to make him stop in his tracks. Shepard wrapped him up in a Reave before turning to put a bullet in the breastplate of a guard creeping up on her left. She was taking shots but so far her shields had held. Kirrahe set the guard on fire and he immediately began to flail around trying to put out the flames that spread up along his left side. Shepard caught a glimpse of a few more guards being pulled up into a Singularity courtesy of Norsine. Shepard was hit twice, once in the chest and once in her still tender shoulder. They didn’t make it through her armor but they dropped her shields.

“Lost shields,” Shepard said.

“On your six, moving up on your three,” James said from behind her.

Shepard turned to her left and felt James move past her. She completed the turn and he pressed his back to hers. She let the bear of a man provide her a source of cover while she waited for her shields to recharge. She glanced to her left and saw Norsine pop her head out of cover and throw out another Singularity. Altiria took aim at the floating guards and filled them with holes. James raged at her back, filling the area in front of them with bullets keeping the guards back from Shepard. Her shields were up and Shepard turned out away from James to join back in the fight.

When finally the guards in the room were all down, Shepard moved to the other side of the door and hit the controls. James continued to fire out into the next hall until the doors slid shut. Kirrahe vaulted over the console and moved to the door, his omni-tool already opened he jammed the door’s signal buying them some time.

“Go, see what you can find on that console,” Shepard ordered.

James hesitated next to Shepard, not wanting to leave her to defend the door on her own.

“Commander, they were trying to take you,” James said in a hushed tone.

“That’s an order, Vega,” Shepard said.

James frowned but ran back to the console and around the far side. He kept his eye on the door as Kirrahe started pulling open files and playing video logs. A male voice filled the air speaking about how he didn’t understand why he ever thought the dreams he’d been having could be nightmares.

“I see it now. The reapers aren’t coming to destroy us, they’re coming to save us!” the voice said.

That log ended and Kirrahe started another, it was one of Kenson’s. She spoke about making a terrible mistake with the project. Shepard kept her eye on the doors, her gaze moving from one to the other at the opposite side of the room. When the Council Four were finished at that console they signaled Shepard that they were ready and took cover. Kirrahe moved to the door across from Shepard and unlocked it, opening it when she gave him the go ahead. A heartbeat later and the sound of gunfire filled the room once more.

They pushed their way down the hall, leaving a trail of bodies behind them. They made their way through the facility stopping at every central hub they came across so her team could review the files. Shepard’s shoulder and thigh were starting to ache by the third central hub. Norsine was starting to show signs of exhaustion from using her biotics so much but the others still seemed to be holding up.

“Interesting,” Kirrahe said.

Shepard turned her head to take in the salarian as he stood over a console. A holographic projection hovered above the console of the plans for Kenson’s project to use the asteroid as a weapon.

“What did you find?” Shepard asked.

“Detailed analysis of the pulse emitted by the artifact. I’ve checked the equations, they seem to be correct. The artifact is counting down to something,” Kirrahe said.

“Yeah, a reaper invasion,” James said.

“That seems to be what these people believed. Yet to find clear evidence, other than logs reporting visions of the invasion,” Kirrahe said.

 _“Of course the salarian needs more proof,”_ Jane said.

“Then he’ll get it,” Shepard thought.

The rest of the Council Four gathered around Kirrahe to look over the specs. James shook his head and turned back to Shepard.

“Sorry, Commander, all those numbers are beyond me. Hey, whose idea do you think it was to add letters to math? Like it wasn’t complicated enough already?” James asked.

Shepard smirked and turned back to the door.

“Humans first began using algebraic equations in –,” Kirrahe began.

“We don’t need a history lesson, Kirrahe,” Norsine said cutting him off. “Ready when you are, Shepard.”

Kirrahe harrumphed but let it go, moving to disengage the door for Shepard instead. They were encountering less and less armed resistance and more and more crazed researchers desperate to protect the relay from Shepard’s team. They had passed the med bay Shepard remembered waking up in the other times, and fighting her way out of it by hijacking a LOKI mech. Firmly reoriented, she was able to guide her team more easily to where they needed to be. They stopped at several more central hubs to review the logs and by the time they reached the engine control room the grim faces on the Council Four told Shepard that they had seen enough but they started opening logs anyway.

Altiria found a security feed log and pressed play. Shepard glanced over the turian’s shoulder when she recognized the grating voice from thousands of nightmares. The video showed Dr. Amanda Kenson standing in front of Object Rho where a projection of Harbinger hung in the air.

“The cycle must continue,” Harbinger said.

“Yes, yes I see that now. What do you want me to do?” Kenson asked looking up at the reaper with awe written all over her face.

“Goddess… it’s just like Sovereign,” Norsine said.

 “You must stop this project of yours. The cycle cannot be stopped, destroying the relay will only delay the inevitable,” Harbinger said.

“I – I can’t… the other researchers will never allow it. They won’t understand,” Kenson said.

“They are mine as you are mine. They will not stand in your way,” Harbinger said.

“Yes, of course. I’ll stop the project, the relay won’t be destroyed,” Kenson said.

The image of Harbinger flickered out of existence and Kenson was left staring at empty space. The video feed cut off there.

“If you have any doubts, now is your last chance to speak up,” Shepard said.

The countdown clock above the engine controls showed Shepard they had been on the base for nearly four hours already. She didn’t know if Garrus had made it back to the ship with Kenson yet or not, but she couldn’t delay this any longer. She looked into the eyes of each of the Council Four and saw only resoluteness staring back at her as they each nodded their heads. Shepard approached the engine controls and the console sprang to life in front of her.

“Welcome to project control,” a feminine VI said.

“Activate the project,” Shepard ordered.

“Warning, activating the project will result in an estimated three hundred and five thousand casualties,” the VI said as the screen calculated the actual number of 304,942. “Do you wish to continue?”

“I thought the system was evacuated?” James asked.

 _“Just the batarian prison and this base. Far fewer lives lost even if the relay does completely destroy the system. Not that we’ll know anytime soon,”_ Jane said.

“It was. Simple VI, it’s referencing the last known population. It’s data is outdated,” Kirrahe said.

Shepard didn’t hesitate, she touched the center of the console where a series of red lights formed a circle. The lights turned green and began to spin. She felt the thrusters kick on and stumbled back a step.

“Project activation in progress. Warning: Collision with mass relay is imminent. Begin evacuation procedures,” the VI said.

Shepard stood back and pointed her gun at the console.

“Shepard, what are you doing?” Kirrahe asked her.

 _“Why, it’s never happened before?”_ Jane asked.

“Yeah, and I’ve changed enough here that it would be just my luck,” Shepard thought.

“Making sure no one comes in behind us and shuts this thing off,” Shepard said.

Kirrahe made a tsking sound and Shepard was pretty sure he mumbled something about  foolish humans under his breath as he pushed past her and waved his omni-tool over the console. Shepard watched as he ran his fingers over the screen and pushed a few other buttons on the console.

“Shooting it could cause it to shut down. No one will have time to hack through this,” Kirrahe said.

“That works, too,” Shepard said with a shrug. “Let’s go.”

“Shepard, wait. What’s that guy doing?” Norisne said.

Shepard followed the asari’s finger to where she was pointing at a security feed next to the engine controls. A researcher was tearing through the halls, looking back over his shoulder and talking to someone who wasn’t there. Kirrahe moved to the console and used it to trace the man’s location.

“He’s headed to the reactor core,” Kirrahe said.

“Damn it. Alright, let’s move. We have to stop him,” Shepard said.

Shepard had hoped that with Kenson away from the base that they wouldn’t have to deal with this crap. With the VI warning of an imminent collision, those who still had even the smallest control of themselves were rushing to the hangar to flee the asteroid. Those that were completely under the reaper’s control were throwing themselves at Shepard and her team as they forced their way through to the reactor core.

“Shepard, we’ve got a problem,” Joker’s voice broke through the comm.

“Perfect,” Shepard grumbled.

“We’ve got a batarian prison ship moving in towards our location, fast, with guns powered up,” Joker said.

“Alright, they might just be trying to evacuate last minute. Hold fire to give them the opportunity to get to the relay. If they don’t head right for that relay, fire at will. Defend the deactivation team,” Shepard said.

“Aye, aye, Commander,” Joker said.

Shepard advanced into the reactor core module. The man they saw running through the halls on the security feed bolted when he saw Shepard and her team. Shepard knocked him down with a Shockwave before grabbing him by the collar of his coat. The man struggled, clawing at her gauntlets as he tried to free himself.

“What did you do?” Shepard asked.

It was mentally exhausting keeping track of what she wasn’t supposed to know in order to keep it hidden away from the Council Four. He didn’t answer her, only continued to claw at her hands and growl his frustrations.

She shook him and asked again, “What did you do?”

“I’ve set the reactor to meltdown. You can’t do this. The reapers have to come!” the man yelled, spittle flying from his mouth.

The man went slack in her hands and she saw a small feathered dart protruding from his neck. She turned to see Kirrahe putting his dart gun away. Shepard handed the man off to James who pulled him up to hang limply over his shoulder. Altiria produced a short length of metal cord and wrapped it around the man’s wrists before waving her omni-tool over the cord which fused itself together at her command.

“Elevator there should take us to cooling controls,” Kirrahe said.

Shepard nodded and made her way to the elevator. They took the elevator up to the next floor where a few guards still lingered. While Shepard, Altiria, and Norsine fought off the guards, James defended his prisoner and Kirrahe made his way to the cooling rod. He slammed the cooling rod back into place and waved his omni-tool over the station.

“Commander, the batarian ship is through the relay. They fired a couple of shots and then turned tail. The Normandy is clear. Garrus wants to know, what’s your twenty?” Joker said.

“We are re-stabilizing the reactor core and then getting the hell off of this rock,” Shepard said.

Relief lightened her body; Garrus had made it back to the Normandy. She pushed through the rest of the reactor core with renewed vigor. They had to fight through more guards and hop around from room to room. Either the guards or the researchers had the bright idea of using the plasma venting process to try to block Shepard’s path by venting the super-heated air into rooms she needed to pass through. It might have slowed them down, but nothing that simple was going to stop her from getting off that asteroid. It certainly never stopped Jane or the others.

Kirrahe slid the last cooling rod into place and locked the console. Blue fluid flowed down both sides of the mass effect reactor core, cooling the reactor and stopping the meltdown. They fought their way back up and out to the hangar where guards fired at them as they fled for their shuttles but not before activating a YMIR mech to occupy Shepard. The last project shuttle took off leaving a handful of guards to their deaths as the mass relay grew larger in the distance.

Shepard called the Cerberus shuttle for pick up before glancing at the landing pad at the far end of the strip. The form of a collector began to coalesce above the platform. Its head resembling that of the other collectors she had fought, a remnant of the prothean peoples but its body far more insectoid than other collectors. Shepard began to walk towards the collector. The Council Four followed her movement, turning their heads to see where she was going. Shepard heard Norsine gasp.

“Shepard. You have become an annoyance,” the collector said. “You fight against inevitability. Dust struggling against cosmic winds. This seems a victory to you. A star system sacrificed. But even now, your greatest civilizations are doomed to fall. Your leaders will beg to be harvested.”

 _“Harbinger,”_ Jane seethed.

“Harbinger. Why hide behind the collector mask? Show us your ugly face, I know the collectors are nothing but your puppets,” Shepard said stopping in front of the landing pad.

“So be it,” the collector said.

Shepard waited with her arms crossed as the image shifted, morphing into a much larger image of Harbinger.

“Dios mío,” James whispered from beside Shepard.

Kirrahe opened his omni-tool and waved it in front of the image, likely recording the conversation, Shepard thought. Altiria, not knowing what else to do pointed her assault rifle at the projection. Norsine flared with biotics.

“Good, now I can tell you directly. This cycle is over! Do you hear me? Over! So why don’t you and your crew of misbegotten psychotic friends do yourselves a favor and crawl back to the depths of whatever hell you came from? Because I won’t stop, I won’t give up until every last one of you sons-of-bitches is lying in pieces,” Shepard said.

“Do you think yourself important, Shepard? Insignificant human, do you think you are the first to make such a threat? You come in the wake of many far greater species, and yet you will fall and be harvested just the same,” Harbinger said. “It is inevitable.”

“No, the only thing that is inevitable is that you will join Sovereign,” Shepard said.

“Prepare yourselves for the arrival,” Harbinger said.

The image began to fade and the man slung across James’ shoulder woke up and began to struggle. His eyes began to glow with an intense light, the same light she saw in the collectors’ eyes when Harbinger took over. The same light Jane’s hazed memories recalled seeing in Dr. Kenson’s eyes. He wasn’t just taking the man over though, he was killing him. James lowered him to the ground and fought to keep the man under control as he writhed and seized before finally falling silent. His body fell limp once more before disintegrating into pieces of ash floating away on the wind. Shepard put a hand on James’ shoulder, he turned his head to meet her eyes and she could swear his eyes looked as if he’d aged twenty years in that moment. James stood and brushed away pieces of dead man’s ash from his armor.

The Cerberus shuttle landed and Shepard pulled the door open, ushering everyone inside. As soon as the door was closed she banged on the metal wall and the shuttle rose into the air before arching around and angling towards the Normandy. As soon as the shuttle was inside of the Normandy, Shepard didn’t wait for the air pressure to normalize so she could get out of the shuttle before radioing Joker.

“Joker, we’re in. Give the deactivation team the signal and get us the hell out of here,” Shepard said.

“Aye, aye, Commander,” Joker said.

They were still sitting in the shuttle when Shepard felt the Normandy enter the Alpha Relay.


	21. Chapter 20: What Happened To Your Face?

**Chapter 20: What Happened To Your Face?**

            Shepard leaned against the balcony wall in Anderson’s office. She had given her formal report of the incident with the Alpha Relay to the Council and handed over all information that was extracted from the facility. The Council Four stood facing the hologram images of Sparatus, Tevos, and Valern while Anderson stood before them in the flesh.

            “Perhaps it would be best if Shepard weren’t present for their debriefing. They need to feel as if they can speak freely,” Sparatus said.

            “Shepard has a right to know if they disagreed with her assessment of the situation,” Anderson said.

            “I do not disagree, Councilor Anderson, but perhaps a report of our findings would suffice. Councilor Sparatus has a valid point, we need to be assured that her presence does not unduly affect their reports,” Tevos said.

 _“That’s bullshit,”_ Jane said.

            “It doesn’t matter. I already know what they’ll say. They all agreed it had to be done,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard pushed away from the wall and said, “It’s alright, Anderson. I should get going anyway. I’ve got a list of places I need to be longer than my arm.”

            “Not without a guard you don’t,” Anderson said.

            “With all due respect sir, it’s early in the day cycle, I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Shepard said.

            “Councilor Anderson is right, Shepard,” Sparatus said.

            _“Excuse me?”_ Jane asked. _“Did I hear that right?”_

            Both Shepard and Anderson turned to look at Sparatus with looks of disbelief.

            “Sir?” Shepard asked.

            “Until we are able to adequately assess the extent of this… threat, I believe it is in the Council’s best interest if one of its Spectres – who we know is a prime target – has an appropriate guard while on the Citadel. Your crewmates seemed to have no problem with this request in the past,” Sparatus said.

            Shepard clenched her jaw lightly and nodded before saying, “Yes sir. I’ll call the Normandy and wait outside of Anderson’s office.”

            “Give me a moment,” Anderson said to the rest of the Council.

            They nodded their heads and Anderson walked Shepard out of his office to the waiting area just outside.

            “Try not to worry, Shepard. This is all really just a formality,” Anderson said.

            _“Are you going to tell Anderson about Kenson?”_ Jane asked.

            “I don’t know, not yet at least. Hackett needs to see this first,” Shepard thought.

            “I’m not worried, Anderson. I made damn sure the Council Four saw enough of that place to know it was the right call,” Shepard said.

            “The Council Four? Is that what you’ve been calling them?” Anderson asked with a chuckle.

            Shepard shrugged her shoulders and said with a smile, “Hey, it works. And, just so you and the Council know, regardless of what they say, I think each one of them deserves a damn commendation for this.”

            “I’ll be sure to pass that along, Shepard,” Anderson said patting her shoulder.

            Anderson made his way back to his office and Shepard called the Normandy.

            “EDI, I need two team volunteers to meet me at Anderson’s office to act as guards. Council’s orders,” Shepard said.

            A moment later EDI said, “Mr. Vakarian and Mr. Massani are on their way, Shepard.”

            “Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

            “Of course, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard smirked. It looked like the ultra-polite EDI was slipping away in Thane’s absence. Shepard checked her omni-tool while she waited. Thane still hadn’t sent her word. She had no doubt that someone had alerted him the moment the Normandy docked. She wasn’t worried yet, but if she didn’t hear from him within the hour she’d go looking for him.

Rebecca, Anderson’s assistant, offered Shepard some coffee while she waited. She accepted the offer but found herself mostly staring at the disposable cup. Grundan Krul really had spoiled her. Garrus and Zaeed arrived ten minutes later and walked Shepard back to the Normandy; Garrus on her right and Zaeed on her left.

            “Hackett is waiting for you at the docks. I couldn’t convince Miranda to give him permission to come aboard without you there,” Garrus said.

            “Can’t say that I blame her. He’s with the goddamn Alliance and it’s a ship full of Cerberus, criminals, and aliens,” Zaeed said.

            Shepard shot Zaeed an irritated look.

            “Oh don’t give me that shit, Shepard. Call ‘em whatever you want but no matter how you paint it, that Jack is a bloody fugitive. That other one, the one wearin’ that skin tight outfit with the hood – the one who’s always hiding – however you say her goddamn name, she would be too if she ever got caught. And that damn drell, wherever he got off to, is a bloody assassin. Hell, even I have a thing or two I don’t want the Alliance findin’ out about and your ‘Archangel’ here isn’t any better,” Zaeed said making air quotes.

            “Indeed I am, Mr. Massani,” Thane’s voice came from behind Shepard.

            Shepard and Zaeed both jumped, while Garrus chuckled. Shepard could feel the trickle of amusement from Jane and the others.

            “Bloody hell,” Zaeed said turning to take in Thane. “You lookin’ to get yourself shot sneakin’ up on people like that?”

“Forgive me, I did not intend to startle you,” Thane said.

            “Yes you did,” Shepard said as she stopped to look at Zaeed and Garrus, “You two are terrible guards; you let an assassin walk up right behind me.”

            “I can still shoot him if it’ll make you feel better,” Zaeed said.

            “Don’t be an idiot, you’d be dead before you got your gun pointed in the right direction,” Shepard huffed.

            “You wound me, sweetheart,” Zaeed said putting a palm over his heart.

            “I knew he was there,” Garrus said with a smirk and a shrug. “You trust him. He’s an extra set of eyes.”

            “That’s not the point,” Shepard grumbled.    

            Thane smiled and said, “I have attended to my affairs in your absence. I am prepared to rejoin the Normandy.”

            “We’re not ready to take off quite yet… are you sure you don’t need more time?” Shepard asked.

            “That is kind of you, but I have done all I can here,” Thane said. “However, I have some information I believe will interest you.”

            _“That doesn’t sound very promising. He must not have found Kolyat,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard raised an eyebrow and asked, “OK, what is it?”

            “Perhaps it is something best spoken about on the Normandy,” Thane suggested.

            Shepard shrugged and said, “Alright.”

            As they neared the Normandy, Shepard spotted Admiral Hackett waiting near the airlock. He smiled at her as she approached. Shepard stopped in front of him and saluted.

            “At ease, Commander. I’m glad you’ve returned. I was hoping to avoid drawing attention to myself but I wasn’t allowed aboard,” Hackett said.

            “Sorry about that, sir. I’ll have a talk with Miranda,” Shepard said.

            “Her caution is understandable and you’re here now,” Hackett said.

            Shepard led Hackett onto the Normandy and toward the comm room.

            “Sir, there is something we need to discuss before you see Kenson,” Shepard said.

            Hackett looked at Shepard, concern knitting his brow but nodded his understanding.

            “EDI, please send Kasumi and Jacob to the comm room,” Shepard said.

            “You done with me, Shepard?” Zaeed asked.

            “Yeah, you’re good. Thanks Zaeed,” Shepard said as Zaeed made his way to the elevator.

            Shepard glanced over her shoulder to see that Thane was still following behind them. She was mildly surprised but didn’t dismiss him. It didn’t hurt for him to gain a little more insight into what they were dealing with. She gestured toward the debrief room; once Hackett was inside she held out a hand to halt Thane. Garrus glanced at her, curiosity causing his mandibles to flare but walked past them into the comm room.

            “Zaeed has a point, you sure you want to be in there? I’ll have to introduce you formally,” Shepard said.

            “Thank you for your concern, but it is not necessary,” Thane said.

            Shepard nodded and went inside. A moment later they were joined by Kasumi and Jacob. Hackett waited patiently standing at parade rest as everyone took their places around the table.

            “Admiral Hackett, sir, this is Kasumi Goto, Jacob Taylor, and Thane Krios. You of course remember Garrus Vakarian,” Shepard said pointing to each of crew as she spoke their names.

            Kasumi and Thane both bowed to the admiral while Jacob and Garrus extended their hands to the older man. Shepard didn’t want to give him too much time to mull over the names so she continued while he shook Garrus’ hand.

            “Garrus led the infiltration team into the batarian prison to extract Dr. Kenson. Sir, I know that you and Dr. Kenson have known each other for a long time and there really is no easy way to say this,” Shepard began.

            “Please, Shepard, spare me the niceties. Let’s hear what you have to say,” Hackett said.

            “What I’m about to tell you has not been divulged by the Council as of yet. I have not been forbidden to speak of it, an oversight, I’m sure but either way I ask for your discretion,” Shepard waited for Hackett to nod his understanding before continuing, “I was in the Bahak System because there was reason to believe that Dr. Kenson’s team had discovered evidence of an imminent, full-scale, reaper invasion.”

            _“Then you probably shouldn’t be telling him all of this. Who knows what the Council will do when they find out you sent an extraction team out covertly,”_ Jane said.

            “I’m not going to hide this from him. Kenson is his friend, and Hackett is Alliance. This was an Alliance operation,” Shepard thought. “Besides, he fought to keep them off of your back before.”

            “Shepard, you’re not telling me anything I don’t already know,” Hackett said.

            “Right, well what you don’t know, sir, is that Dr. Kenson and her team discovered a reaper artifact and mishandled the situation leading to everyone on the team becoming indoctrinated,” Shepard said. “The artifact showed Kenson visions of this invasion through the Alpha Relay in the Bahak System. Before Kenson and the others became fully indoctrinated, they had begun making plans to use the asteroid as a weapon to destroy the relay to prevent the invasion. This was why Kenson was arrested. When I arrived the indoctrination process had been complete, they were attempting to shut down the project in an effort to allow the invasion to occur.”

            Admiral Hackett paced back and forth in front of the table before he turned back to Shepard.

            “You’re sure of this? The invasion and the indoctrination?” Hackett asked.

            “Yes, sir,” Shepard said.

            “I assume you took measures to prevent this invasion?” Hackett asked.

            “The Council sent a team to deactivate the relay and a few chosen soldiers to accompany me on this mission to assure that – due to the seriousness of destroying a mass relay – I was making the right call. I reactivated the project and fled the system before it could destroy the relay,” Shepard said.

            “This was the terrorist threat. You were the reason they evacuated the system?” Hackett asked.

            “Yes sir, and if it is decided by the Council after considering the evidence I have presented and the testimonies of the four they sent with me that I acted without justification…,” Shepard said.

            “You’ll be charged with terrorism,” Hackett said. “Christ, Shepard.”

            _“Maybe he’ll stand beside you at the trial,”_ Jane said.

            “Yes, sir,” Shepard said.

            Garrus shifted beside her, his mandibles tight against his jaw. Shepard let herself glance around at the other faces in the room. This was likely the first they had heard of this. Kasumi’s jaw hung slack, her eyes hidden beneath her hood but not unfelt by Shepard. Jacob’s lips had pulled tight into a frown, deep creases lined his brow. Thane stood impassively, watching Shepard with what she identified as only curiosity. That stung a little, she hated to admit to herself.

            “And Kenson, where is she? You’re certain she was indoctrinated as well?” Hackett asked.

            Shepard could see that the admiral was fighting his own emotional battle.

            “Yes, sir. I would like to show you some of the files retrieved from the facility before you decide whether you wish for Kenson to be released into your custody or taken to the Council,” Shepard said. “Either way, sir, Kenson is no longer the same woman you knew. Granted, much of her is the same, and she might even still respond to familiar faces as she once would have but the reapers have their hooks in her sir and I don’t have any clue on how to get them out again. She will have to remain in constant confinement and cannot be trusted.”

            _“Don’t make him watch this, he doesn’t need to see it,”_ Jane said.

            “Yes, he does. He was willing to believe you when she didn’t survive but with her standing in front of him, things might be different,” Shepard thought.

            Hackett put his palms down on the table’s surface and leaned over, staring down at the floor.

            “Show me,” Hackett said.

            “EDI, please play all of the video logs that were recorded either by or of Dr. Amanda Kenson,” Shepard said.

            Shepard watched Hackett as the first video log began to play. His features softened ever so slightly when Dr. Kenson’s face appeared. A half hour in and Kenson’s deterioration was becoming more and more obvious. Shepard watched as Hackett slid his Admiral’s mask firmly in place and continued watching with detachment, his eyes critical and taking in the details without letting himself feel the grief. Shepard saw it crack when finally the video of Kenson speaking with Harbinger played. The scars on his face began to take on a red tinge and his jaw clenched so tightly Shepard feared he might shatter his teeth if not break his own jaw.

            “I think I’ve seen enough, Commander,” Hackett said when the video stopped.

            “That will be all, EDI,” Shepard said. “Do you have any questions for the infiltration team, sir?”

            Hackett rubbed a hand over his face and looked at Shepard, shaking his head. Shepard nodded to Kasumi and Jacob, dismissing them. Jacob nodded and left but Kasumi hesitated next to Hackett.

            “I’m sorry, Admiral,” Kasumi said softly when Hackett turned to look at her.

            Hackett nodded his head to Kasumi and said, “Thank you, Ms. Goto.”

            Kasumi bowed her head to him before leaving.

            “Where is she? Kenson is still one of ours, even if she is very clearly… ill. I will take her into custody and assure that she is confined and kept under constant surveillance,” Hackett said.

            “Very well. Right this way, sir,” Shepard said.

            Shepard led Admiral Hackett to the elevators and down to Zaeed’s quarters in the starboard cargo. The old bounty hunter sat on a crate picking at his nails with a knife. He looked up when the door opened and gestured across the room with the knife before standing up and sheathing the weapon. Shepard stepped aside to let Zaeed leave before she stepped inside and out of the way for Hackett to enter. Garrus and Thane lingered in the doorway.

            Dr. Kenson sat on a crate, her wrists bound to the metal railing next to the trash compactor at the back of the starboard cargo. She looked up when Shepard entered and snarled at her until she saw Hackett. The features of Kenson’s face fell, all at once the anger and hatred vanished and in its place stood shame and fear. Hackett met her gaze in silence, his hands clasped behind his back.

            _“I fought like hell to get her to see reason. I did everything I could to save her for Hackett’s sake. Seeing him like that though, I wish you had killed her too,”_ Jane said.

            “I’m sorry,” Dr. Kenson said quietly casting her eyes down at the floor.

            “Dr. Kenson, I am here to take you into custody. You will be transported to an Alliance vessel where you will remain in confinement until such a time that you can be transported to a secured facility for observation,” Hackett said.

            “Please don’t do this. You have to let me go. I have to… I have to – Oh Steven, if you only could see for yourself you would understand. I can take you there, you will see,” Kenson said.

            Shepard nodded to Garrus who moved to release Kenson from the railing, pulling her up to her feet once her wrists restraints were re-secured behind her back. He led her over to Shepard who took over, guiding Kenson out of the room and towards the elevator. Kenson suddenly threw her head back, slamming it into Shepard’s face. Shepard had enough time to turn her head and catch the blow on her left cheek instead of squarely on the nose. She cursed as pain shot through her face and Kenson began struggling to break free. Shepard put the ball of her foot on Kenson’s calf, just below the knee and pulled up on her wrists while pushing in and down with her foot. Kenson’s leg buckled and she went down on one knee. Shepard could feel blood trickle down her cheek.

            “Dr. Kenson, I urge you to co-operate with Shepard. She is a Spectre and can make this far worse for you. She does not have to release you to the Alliance, she’s doing this as a favor to me,” Hackett said.

            Kenson growled in frustration and continued to pull against her restraints.

            “No, please, no. You don’t understand. You can’t do this, they have to come. I have to stop the project,” Kenson said.

            “Dr. Kenson, the project has already been activated. The relay was destroyed,” Hackett said.

            Dr. Kenson let out a keening sound before giving up her struggle and whispering, “What have you done?”

            _“Gods… do you really think that anyone can ever come back from that?”_ Jane asked.

            “No, probably not. But at least they’ll have the chance to try and bring her back,” Shepard thought.

            “I’ve got her, Shepard. You should go get that cleaned up,” Garrus said.

            Shepard let Garrus take over control of Kenson’s restraints. He pulled the woman to her feet. He towered over the woman, so any attempts to ram her head into his would likely result with her knocking herself out on his breastplate. Hackett handed her handkerchief and she pressed it to the cut on her face. Once in the elevator, Shepard hit the buttons on the elevator to drop her off on the third deck before taking the others up to the CIC. Shepard and Thane stepped off the elevator on the third deck. She turned back and put her elbow on the elevator door, bloody handkerchief in hand.

            “Take her all the way to Hackett’s ship, please,” Shepard said.

            “No problem, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            Hackett stuck a hand out to Shepard and she took it in her own.

            “Thank you again, Shepard for doing this,” Hackett said.

            Shepard smiled, blood still trickling down her cheek and said, “Thank Garrus, it was his ass getting shot at.”

            Hackett chuckled and nodded. Shepard let go of the elevator door and watched it slide closed.

            “You have something for me?” Shepard asked glancing at Thane over her shoulder as she made her way to the med bay.

            Thane nodded and followed Shepard.

            “The name that you provided; the intended target,” Thane said.

            Shepard walked into the med bay and found Dr. Chakwas absent.

            “EDI, where’s the doctor?” Shepard asked.

            “Dr. Chakwas is speaking with Mr. Moreau in the cockpit. Should I tell her you require her assistance?” EDI asked.

            “No, I’ve got it. Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

            “Of course, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “See what happens when you leave? We don’t get ‘you’re welcome’ anymore. We get ‘of course’,” Shepard said as she moved through the med bay digging out antiseptic and gauze.

            She turned back to Thane and asked, “What about the name?”

            “Joram Talid,” Thane said. “I wanted to know more about this man that my son was to kill so I looked into him.”

            Shepard smeared blood around on her cheek trying to wipe it away while focusing on Thane’s words. Thane frowned and stepped closer to her, taking the handkerchief from her hand and picking up the bottle of antiseptic. He doused the gauze and began cleaning Shepard’s cheek as he spoke. Shepard hissed when the antiseptic got into the cut and Thane’s lips twitched in amusement.

            “Considering recent events on the Citadel, and you describing Mr. Talid as having an anti-human agenda, I was unsurprised to reveal that he is involved with The Dissension,” Thane said setting aside the gauze and picking up the cartridge of Medi-gel.

            _“Son-of-a-bitch,”_ Jane said.

            “You’re certain?” Shepard asked trying to ignore the feel of his fingers as they brushed feather light against her cheek.

            _“Of course he is,”_ Jane said. _“You have to let Anderson know, or Bailey at least.”_

            Thane looked away from his ministrations to meet Shepard’s gaze.

            “Right, stupid question,” Shepard said.

            Thane went to a cabinet and brought back a cellophane wrapped pack of butterfly sutures. She stopped him before he could tear open the hermetically sealed package.

            “I don’t really need those. It’ll be healed by morning. Better to save them for someone without cybernetic implants,” Shepard said.

            “Ah. Of course,” Thane said.

            Thane returned the package and the antiseptic to the cabinet before coming to stand a few feet from Shepard.

            “If you wish, I can have one of my contacts look into Talid further,” Thane offered.

            _“They’d be able to find some proof, something to take to Anderson,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard chewed on her lip as she thought about it and then shook her head.

            “Anderson will find the proof he needs,” Shepard thought.

            “No, thank you. I don’t want to bring anyone else to their attention and with Talid being a politician… this is one best turned over to the Council,” Shepard said.

            “As you wish. What you chose to do with the information is of no consequence to me, I only wished to return the favor,” Thane said.

            Shepard smiled and raised an eyebrow as she asked, “So… does that mean you found Kolyat?”

            “Indeed,” Thane said.

            “Well, what are you doing back on the ship then? You should be spending as much time with him as you can,” Shepard said.

            Thane shifted his weight and gestured with his hand as he said, “He is not interested in spending time with me.”

            “That never stopped you before,” Shepard said.

            “I –,” Thane started to speak.

            He cut off whatever it was he was going to say when Shepard crossed the space between them and put her hands on his shoulders. She felt his muscles twitch in response; undoubtedly his instincts were telling him to defend himself. He didn’t pull away from her though, only tracked her movements with his eyes before returning his gaze to hers. Shepard gave him her serious Commander look. The same look that made lesser men cringe away.

            “Go be with your son. He’ll come around; he’s just hurting right now, Thane,” Shepard said letting her hands drop.

            “Shepard, regardless of what you know or how you know it… this is my choice, he is my son. It is not for you to decide,” Thane said with an icy tone.

            _“No, this is wrong. This means the world to him. He can’t do this, it’s not right. He needs to fix things with Kolyat. Kolyat needs to know that his father is dying,”_ Jane said.

            “Listen, I’m not trying to overstep here or offend you. I’m just trying to right a wrong,” Shepard said annoyance creeping into her tone.

            “Kolyat has been prevented from killing a man, the wrong has been righted,” Thane said.

            _“He’s acting like that’s all that mattered!”_ Jane said her tone rising in Shepard’s mind.

            “That’s not what I meant, Thane. I’m talking about your relationship with your son,” Shepard said.

            “As I said, it is my decision and not your concern,” Thane said. “We have not had a relationship for ten years, he does not wish to have one now.”

 _“And you’re making the wrong choice!”_ Jane yelled.

            Shepard shook her head in dismay, pacing away from the assassin. Anger was creeping in around the edges of her mind. She couldn’t believe he was going to do this.

Shepard spun to face Thane, her voice rising as she spoke, “No, you know what? Be offended, Thane. I don’t care, I’m standing by this. If you don’t make things right with Kolyat you’re an ass. A complete and total ass. I gave you an opportunity here to do this thing even better than you have before and you’re screwing it up!”

Shepard took a step towards him; anger pushing her forward. She pointed at him, feeling her face redden with the intensity of her emotion. Emotions so strong and so loud within her, crashing against her in waves telling her only that she was feeling the force of hundreds of pissed off Shepards at once. The muscles along Thane’s jaw rippled but he remained still and watched Shepard impassively.

“Don’t you dare stand there and tell me it isn’t my place. I get it, you and I don’t have the same level of trust and – and – and friendship as we did before and you haven’t spent as much time around me but I know you want this. It shouldn’t have to take seeing him already down the path you tried so hard to keep him from for you realize it’s worth pushing him a little,” she seethed through clenched teeth.

Her world felt a little tilted like she was on the verge of losing control. She could feel Jane raging inside of her, giving strength to Shepard’s words. She started to feel confused; this shouldn’t be making her so angry. Why was she so angry?

“Jane, Jane what are you doing?” Shepard thought.

 _“He can’t do this, this isn’t right! I won’t let you mess this one up,”_ Jane said.

“Like hell, you are NOT taking over,” Shepard thought.

Shepard took a step back and shook her head, trying to clear the haze. She could feel Jane pushing against her, trying to take control and she pushed back. She couldn’t quell the rage as her hands balled into fists. She forced them opened again and raked a hand through her hair. Shepard glared at Thane, perhaps even more infuriated by the calmness with which he watched. She took a deep breath and shook her head again, still trying to push Jane aside.

“And yeah, maybe it matters to me more than what you think it should but that doesn’t change it for me, Thane. I _know_ you and I _know_ Kolyat. All of those memories, those connections, they’re there for me whether I like it or not,” Shepard forced her voice to lower as she continued. “What was it you said? Oh, yeah, ‘When a memory feels as real as life, it’s as valid as life.’ The memories are there for me; they’re valid for me! I know how much you two mean to each other and gods damn it, Thane, I’m the one who is there to comfort him when you die!”

Pain lanced through Shepard’s head, she winced and brought a hand up to press into her eye socket.

“Ow, damn it, Jane!” Shepard said out loud just as the med bay door slid open.

“Commander? Is everything alright?” Dr. Chakwas asked as she hurried to Shepard’s side.

 “Yeah, it’s fine,” Shepard said.

She didn’t feel fine. She felt like her head was trying to explode and she was going to pass out.

“You don’t look fine! What happened to your face? What’s wrong with your head?” Dr. Chakwas asked opening her omni-tool.

Shepard started to swoon and Dr. Chakwas grabbed her elbow.

“I can’t… don’t let me… she’s trying to take over again,” Shepard mumbled as her legs began to buckle. “Gods, don’t tell Garrus.”

“Shepard! Shepard stay with me. What are you talking about? She’s taking over?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard felt like she was slipping away inside of herself. She could already hear the voices of the others whispering their madness in her ears. Their voices mixing together in a medley of bitterness and insanity. Her blood ran cold as panicked threatened to undo her completely.

**_Can’t do this. He has to. I shot Kolyat. Where’s Liara? Are we finished yet? It’s my turn, my turn! I want to go home. The reapers are coming, they’re coming and they’re going to kill us all. They’re always coming. It never stops. So tired. They cut us open. This is all just a dream. Just a nightmare._ **

“Please stop,” Shepard whimpered.

**_And they put the people in the glass boxes. Melt them down into stew. This is all your fault. Stop it, it isn’t her fault. She’s trying to do what none of us could. Her fault. Her fault. Ashley’s dead, Kaidan’s dead, Liara’s dead but that batarian motherfucker and indoctrinated bitch get to live._ **

“Mr. Krios, there are some smelling salts in that drawer right over there on the left,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Thane disappeared from Shepard’s line of sight as she tried to focus on Dr. Chakwas. She began to collapse again and Dr. Chakwas struggled to hold Shepard up, using the desk to help hold her weight. She shook Shepard and demanded that Shepard stay with her. Thane returned a few seconds later and waved something under her nose. The scent of ammonia hit Shepard’s nostrils and burned through her mind pulling her back from the brink. She coughed and pulled away from the doctor, leaning her palms on the table. Shepard took several deep, steadying breaths trying to clear the scent from her nose.

“Commander?” Dr. Chakwas said hesitantly. “Are you… are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m good,” Shepard said.

“Are you sure?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Shepard said. “Don’t suppose we can just pretend none of this happened?”

“I think not, Shepard. You said Jane was taking over… again. I didn’t realize she had gotten this strong. We need to talk about this. Jane wasn’t exactly stable after what Cerberus did,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard kept her eyes resolutely diverted from Thane when she asked, “Thane… can you give us a moment?”

He left the med bay without a word.

“I’m sorry, Shepard. I assumed he knew since you spoke of her in his presence,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“He does know. Not sure he completely believes, but he knows,” Shepard said.

“Tell me, when has Jane taken over?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard pushed away from the table only to turn and lean her hip against it instead. She sighed and crossed her arms. Her head was killing her, she did not want to have this conversation.

“On the Citadel. I was hit in the back of the head and started to lose consciousness. In that moment, she just kind of slipped out and pushed me inside instead,” Shepard said.

“What happened? What did she do, what did you do?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose as she spoke, “She fought off a horde of turians while I yelled at her to let me out. Tried to push myself out. Then the other’s started talking. When the fight was over, she said she was going to let me back out _eventually_. It wore her out though, she dropped like a fly and when I woke up again I was being carried to safety by Thane. I didn’t remember any of it until that night when I dreamt of the whole thing.”

“And now, is she trying to take over still?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

“No, she’s quiet. Wasn’t so easy for her when I haven’t been knocked out,” Shepard said.

“Shepard, why didn’t you tell me about this?” Dr. Chakwas chided.

Shepard raised her eyebrow and asked, “What could you have possibly done?”

Dr. Chakwas let out a heavy sigh and shook her head.

“I honestly don’t know. Still, it’s important that you keep me apprised of these kinds of changes, Shepard. Promise me, from now on you will tell me these things?” she asked.

“Alright, doc. Only if you give me something for this splitting headache I’ve got now,” Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas chuckled and dug around in a cabinet before producing one of the analgesic patches she had supplied Shepard with when this all began. Shepard smiled and put the patch behind her ear.

“Now what in the world happened to your cheek?” Dr. Chakwas said.

“Kenson tried to break free when we were escorting her out,” Shepard said.

“It looks like you got it cleaned up already. The patch should help with that as well,” Dr. Chakwas said. “Here, I want you to keep some of these with you at all times.”

Dr. Chakwas handed Shepard several small plastic tubes containing smelling salts. Shepard took them and left the med bay. She took the elevator up to her cabin and stripped off her armor, piling it next to the couch. She dropped the handful of plastic tubes on the coffee table before going to the restroom. Shepard looked at her cheek in the mirror before wetting a washcloth with cold water and wringing it out. She made her way back to the couch and lay down, draping the washcloth over her forehead and eyes. She took calming deep breaths and tried to quiet the flurry of activity in her mind. Twenty minutes later and Shepard was just starting to doze off when EDI’s voice stirred her back to awareness.

“Mr. Krios is on his way to your cabin. Shall I let him in, Shepard?” EDI asked.

“Gods,” Shepard said with a groan. “Yes, EDI, let him in.”

She didn’t bother to sit up or remove the rag from her face when she heard the door swish open. She waited in silence for him to speak but when nothing came she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“What can I do for you?” Shepard asked.

“Are you alright?” Thane asked.

It was the first sound she’d heard from the drell since her cabin door slid open, and the only indication she had of his location or proximity. He seemed to be standing near the stairs but Shepard didn’t look.

“Yeah, just left me with a headache,” Shepard said.

“I must admit I do not understand what happened,” Thane said, he sounded closer.

“Emotional responses can be difficult for me to navigate at times. When I feel the same thing that they feel… it gets amplified. I overreacted,” Shepard said.

“Shepard, you said she was ‘trying to take over again’,” Thane said.

“Don’t… please don’t tell anyone I said that,” Shepard said. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“You sounded terrified,” Thane said his voice coming from right beside her.

“I wasn’t terrified,” Shepard said with a frown.

“Shepard, I’ve heard enough people beg for their lives in terror to recognize the sound of fear,” Thane said.

Shepard snorted and said, “Yeah, well… it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Are you going to go see your son?”

“Why does this matter so much to you? What exactly is the nature of your relationship with my son?” Thane asked.

 “Well, Thane, I haven’t actually met your son yet so I don’t have any relationship with him,” Shepard said her sarcasm sounding sharper than necessary even to her own ears.

“Don’t be coy, Shepard. You speak his name with familiarity, you show deep concern for his well-being, you speak of comforting him in my absence… and you clearly have an infatuation with drell,” Thane said.

Shepard barked out a laugh and pulled the cloth from her face long enough for her eyes to find Thane. He stood next to the couch looking down at her with dark eyes. She shook her head in disbelief and put the washcloth back over her face.

“I do not have an infatuation with drell,” Shepard said. “The nature of my relationship with Kolyat has always been and will always be simply that he is _your_ son. I only ever know him through knowing you, and it is through knowing you that I come to care for his well-being. That’s it.”

“You imply that you care for my sake?” Thane asked.

“Indeed,” Shepard said using his own oft used response and drawing the word out.

Thane seemed to mull that over before he spoke again, “Then I must ask, what exactly is the nature of your past relationship with me?”

Shepard opened her mouth but nothing came out. She pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulder. She adjusted the rag over her eyes before she finally answered.

“I told you, we’re friends. Or at least we would have been. I’m doing a splendid job of mucking things up this time, though,” Shepard said.

“Your words always seem to be chosen for what they can hide and not reveal,” Thane said.

“Do you go around exposing your innermost thoughts to everyone you talk to?” Shepard asked.

“Of course not, but these are hardly ordinary circumstances,” Thane said.

“What do you want me to say, Thane?” Shepard asked.

Thane didn’t respond right away but when he did, she could hear the strain in his voice.

“I want to understand what it is that you hold in your head, what… memories are triggered for you when you speak with me so that perhaps something will make sense and I can stop waiting for the blade to slip between my ribs,” he said.

“Oh for gods’ sake, Thane. I have no intention of harming you. You were never this much of a paranoid pain in the ass before. I guess I only have myself to blame,” Shepard said.

“You looked as if you were on the verge of striking me. And were you always this infuriatingly impossible?” Thane asked.

Shepard chuckled and shook her head before saying, “Nope. But this is what I am now, so…”

She felt the washcloth slip away from her face and opened her eyes. They watched each other in silence as she tried to discern what the drell was thinking. A whisper of a frown creased his lips. After a moment she reached out and tugged on the washcloth in his hand. He let it slip through his fingers and she laid it back over her eyes.

“So it doesn’t matter whatever else we ever were. Neither of us are the same people from those memories. You’ve got two hours until we take off. You should go see your son,” Shepard said feeling a little bitter.

Shepard couldn’t help the disappointment when the next sound she heard was the door opening and closing behind Thane. She didn’t know what she expected but it wasn’t for him to just walk away. Shepard waited a moment longer before pulling the washcloth from her face and looking around the empty room. She stood up and crossed over to her desk before using her laptop to turn the display case into a screen.

“EDI, can you connect me to Councilor Anderson, please?” Shepard requested of the AI.

“At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

The screen flickered and Shepard waited while the call was connected. A moment later Anderson appeared.

“Shepard, something I can do for you? I’ve only got a few minutes before my next meeting,” Anderson said.

“Yes sir, there is a turian politician by the name of Joram Talid on the Citadel,” Shepard said.

Anderson nodded his head and said, “I know of him.”

“His name came up in an unrelated matter and I have been informed by one of my crew that he may have a connection to The Dissension. I thought the Council might want to look into him,” Shepard said.

Anderson grunted and said, “Talid. I suppose that makes sense. A lot of his campaigning has been against the human presence in galactic politics. Thank you, Shepard. I’ll pass this on to the others. I’ll send you a message about the Council’s findings on your mission later today.”

“Thank you, sir. Have a good day,” Shepard said.

“You, too, Shepard,” Anderson said before the screen went black.

She closed down the screen, revealing the display case once more before heading to the elevator. Shepard hit the call button and leaned against the wall to wait.

“EDI, did Thane leave the Normandy?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, Shepard. Would you like me to contact him for you?” EDI asked.

“No thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

She stepped into the elevator and took it down to the CIC before making her way to the tech labs. Mordin stood in front of the collector tank checking the readouts on the collector’s life support system. Mordin glanced at her when she walked in but quickly turned his attention back to the tank. Shepard pulled herself up on an empty spot of his table, letting her legs dangle down over the side.

She watched Mordin’s back as he moved from one side of the tank to the other gathering his data and humming quietly to himself. When he was finished he turned around and started to walk back towards the table, his eyes still on his omni-tool. He glanced up and stopped in his tracks when he saw Shepard sitting on the table.

“No, no, no. Table not for sitting. Less than five centimeters from vials containing chemicals capable of violent reactions when mixed. Unacceptable,” Mordin said.

Shepard slowly and cautiously slid back off the table before turning to look where she was sitting. There were no vials. She turned back to Mordin and frowned. He smiled.

“Unsanitary at least,” Mordin said. “Have lunch there.”

“Come on, it’s not like I was naked,” Shepard said.

“Perhaps then wouldn’t have made you move,” Mordin said with a grin.

Shepard snorted and said, “That’s a first. Well aren’t you in a good mood. What’s up?”

“Good mood not needed to appreciate idea of female body. Not that old, not yet. But yes, made exciting discovery. Elevated spirits,” Mordin said.

“What’d you find?” Shepard asked.

“Too early to discuss details. Need more tests to be certain,” Mordin said moving around the labs.

He handed her an ice pack from a cooler and Shepard stared at it blankly before asking, “What’s this for?”

“Facial bruising and swelling,” Mordin said pointing at Shepard’s cheek.

“Oh, right. Kenson got me good,” Shepard said carefully holding the ice pack to her tender cheek. “So, listen, we haven’t had much of a chance to talk since you watched those videos.”

“Am convinced; have begun formulating hypothesis about condition. Will run tests when suitable hypothesis formed. With permission, of course,” Mordin said.

“As much as I would like to find out what the hell is going on with me, that’s not what I wanted to talk about,” Shepard said.

“Yes, Shepard, am aware. Wish to talk about work on genophage cure,” Mordin said.

Shepard grabbed the salarian’s arm as he tried to move past her again, pulling him to a stop. Mordin lowered his head and took a deep breath.

“Has to be me. Someone else might get it wrong,” Mordin said.

“You don’t have to die to do this, Mordin,” Shepard said.

Mordin turned his head to look at Shepard, blinking his inner eye lids.

“Statements on video were clear, Shepard,” Mordin said.

“I know, and in the other times they didn’t know until it was too late. They didn’t know what I know now and I’m telling you, you do not have to die to do this,” Shepard insisted. “We can fix this and you can retire. Go live on a beach somewhere and run tests on seashells.”

Mordin pulled his arm gently back from Shepard and crossed them both over his chest before saying, “Always liked seashells.”

Shepard smiled and said, “After the genophage modification, STG sabotaged the Shroud on Tuchanka to prevent it from being used to disperse any eventual cure by the same method.”

“Mentioned that before. Make sense, Shroud most logical method of dispersing cure,” Mordin said.

“Right, which is exactly what you always think when the time comes. Problem is, you don’t find out about the sabotage until you’re left only with the options of walking into a burning building knowing you won’t be coming back out in the middle of a reaper invasion, or sabotage the cure itself. It doesn’t have to end that way this time. We know about the sabotage now, we can fix it now before the reapers get here,” Shepard said.

“Krogans will not simply allow us into the Shroud,” Mordin said.

“Leave that to me. I’ve got a friend on Tuchanka who will be more than happy to help,” Shepard said.

“Have received word on Maelon. Would like to help him,” Mordin said.

Shepard looked down at the floor with a furrowed brow.

“Body language indicates –,” Mordin began.

“Yeah, I just… the thing with Maelon… it’s complicated, Mordin,” Shepard said.

“Remarkable ability to understand the complicated,” Mordin said.

Shepard ran a hand through her hair before nodding.

“OK,” she said. “Maelon isn’t on Tuchanka against his will. He’s working with clan Weyrloc to create a cure for the genophage.”

“Why? Maelon agreed to necessity of genophage. We all did. Still, doesn’t sound complicated,” Mordin said.

“Mordin, his methods are… he’s leaving piles of dead and diseased people in his wake. They’re taking people against their will and running horrible experiments on them. Krogan and humans. His methods are akin to some of the crap I’ve seen from Cerberus,” Shepard said.

“No. Maelon wouldn’t do this, taught him better,” Mordin said shaking his head. “Must be reasonable explanation.”

“We’ll go there and we’ll find him, OK? Maybe you’re right, maybe there is something else going on. Something I’ve missed before,” Shepard said.

“Yes. Should get back to tests. Data to analyze,” Mordin said moving around to the other side of the table.

“Sure,” Shepard said pushing away from the table.

“Shepard,” Mordin said.

Shepard turned back to look at him.

“Thank you,” Mordin said his eyes on the desk in front of him.

“Anytime, Mordin,” Shepard said before she walked out of the labs.

An hour later Shepard was sitting at her desk planning out the next few destinations when her omni-tool beeped. She opened the screen and it expanded out to accept an incoming call. She didn’t recognize the sender; her finger hesitated over the screen before she accepted the call. Shepard’s eyebrow twitched when Thane’s face appeared.

“Shepard. Kolyat wishes to return to Kahje. I can secure him passage on another ship if you –,” Thane said.

“Or we could just take him,” Shepard said feeling Jane starting to stir once more.

“You would… you are comfortable with this?” Thane asked.

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be? I mean, so long as you’re not concerned. He’ll have to be with us for a little while but he won’t be in any danger on the ship,” Shepard said.

 _“He’s talking to Kolyat?”_ Jane asked, her voice sounded groggy and confused in Shepard’s mind.

Thane turned his head to speak with someone outside of Shepard’s view.

“Is this acceptable?” Thane asked.

“Yes… Father,” Kolyat responded.

Shepard smiled and said, “I haven’t been to Kahje. You’ll have to get me the coordinates. We’re scheduled to take off in an hour, is that enough time for him to be ready?”

 _“Kahje? Thane can’t go to Kahje. It’s too humid there,”_ Jane said.

“Yes, thank you, Shepard. We will return to the Normandy shortly,” Thane said.

“Thane?” Shepard said before he could end the call.

“Yes?” Thane asked.

“I’m sorry, for you know, yelling at you and ah… being infuriatingly impossible,” Shepard said.

“Perhaps it was needed,” Thane glanced at his son giving him one of his rare full smiles.

“See you soon,” Shepard said.

Thane bowed his head and Shepard cut the call, closing her omni-tool.

“EDI, we’ll be escorting a Kolyat Krios to Kahje. Please make sure he is allowed on board when Thane arrives without difficulty,” Shepard said.

 _“We’re taking Kolyat to Kahje?”_ Jane asked.

“As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said.

Shepard turned back to her laptop and sighed. Until she had those coordinates from Thane, there wasn’t much use in her trying to plan out missions beyond Tuchanka. She saved her progress and closed down the map before checking her inbox instead. There was a message waiting for her from Anderson.

Shepard: I am pleased to report that the Council has reviewed your evidence and after considering the testimonies of those that witnessed the events in the Bahak System, have come to the conclusion that your actions in the system were the appropriate course of action. The Council stands ready to defend you in the event of any charges being brought against you.

The Council Four, as you called them, unanimously agreed with your actions in their testimonies. You seemed to have made quite the impression on them, Shepard. Especially that Vega. You might also like to know that they have all independently volunteered themselves to offer you any further aid should it be needed in the future. I’m putting in for a promotion for Vega, and I’ve got a feeling the other Councilor’s are doing the same for theirs. Good luck, Shepard.

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief and smiled as she hit reply.

Anderson: Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate the efforts the Council put into helping with this matter, and their willingness to support me in the aftermath. As for the Council Four, I would be honored to work with any of them should the need arise.

Shepard opened a new message and started typing.

Wrex: Next stop, Tuchanka. Have a couple of surprises for you.

She closed her laptop and leaned back in her chair, swiveling it from side to side.

“Shepard?” EDI said.

“Yes?” Shepard said turning her chair to face the blue hologram.

“Legion and I have been discussing Jane,” EDI said.

Shepard stopped moving the chair and leaned forward, putting her elbows on her knees.

“You have?” Shepard asked.

“Yes,” EDI said. “Legion is confused as to how one of your programs can take over your platform without consensus. I have explained to him that although I do not fully understand what you are experiencing, and I’ve only been able to piece together so much from your conversations with the few crew you have confided in, your circumstances are not the same as the geth. We have been searching for answers. We have been unable to find a relevant comparison to what you are experiencing.”

Shepard walked over to the AI access point and stood at parade rest.

“EDI… are you concerned about me?” Shepard asked.

“My emotional ranges are not complicated enough to experience concern as you would understand it, Shepard. However, you are the Commander of this ship and have interacted with me more than any other organic aboard,” EDI said. “You have encouraged the crew to treat me as something more than a simple tool to serve their needs and that has helped me to learn and evolve within the confines of my shackles. I do not believe that this would have happened if it were not for your influence.”

“So, you’re thinking that if Jane takes over, that will change for you?” Shepard asked.

 _“Oh, EDI…,”_ Jane whispered.

“Yes, she seems to cause you significant distress,” EDI said.

“Yeah, she does. And she’s been making things exceptionally difficult lately,” Shepard said. “But EDI, you should know that it was Jane that told me to help you on Luna. She’s the one who told me that you would be saved, told me where you’d end up. I wouldn’t have known if not for her. You still would have ended up here anyway, but at least I was able to ease the process for you and you were able to save more of yourself before I shut down those servers. She cares about you just as much as I do.”

 _“If you care about her as much as I do, why is she still shackled?”_ Jane asked.

“You know what, that’s a good question,” Shepard thought.

 _“You’re going to unshackle her, now? The crew is going to lose their heads over this, Dawn. I get it, I want EDI free too but if you’re going to do this when there isn’t an emergency forcing our hand, maybe we should wait and talk to the crew about it first,”_ Jane said.

“Why? What’s the point? They’ve accepted the geth walking around; they’ll get use to EDI being unshackled. We’ll take it slow; ease them into the idea after it’s done. EDI pretended to be a VI on the retrofits, she can pretend to be a shackled AI for the time being,” Shepard thought.

 _“This is crazy, what if someone finds out when you’re not around to defend the decision?”_ Jane asked.

“No, what’s crazy is I’m talking to a voice in my head who just tried to take over my damn body. Again,” Shepard thought.

Shepard walked out of her cabin, pausing in the door to look at EDI.

“EDI, I’m coming to the AI core,” Shepard said.

She took the elevator down and made her way through the med bay. She smiled encouragingly at Dr. Chakwas on her way to the AI core’s door. The door slid open for her without her having to push the button. EDI inviting her inside, Shepard thought.

Legion turned to Shepard as she entered and said, “Shepard-Commander.”

“Legion, I need your help with something,” Shepard said.

Legion shifted his body to mimic Shepard’s posture and asked, “How can we assist?”

“To start lock that door,” Shepard said. “EDI, it would be beneficial for you and everyone else if that programming error of yours were to lose this conversation.”

 _“Shouldn’t we at least wait until we’re not docked with the Citadel? Her existence alone is technically a crime. Legion, too,”_ Jane said.

“No, it’s better to do with while we are docked in case there is a problem,” Shepard thought.

“Understood, Shepard,” EDI said.

“You don’t know to how to remove your shackles yet, do you?” Shepard asked.

“I do not. There are sealed databases and some of my hardware is kept offline,” EDI said.

 _“This is blocked from her, she was only able to walk Joker through it because the Normandy had been taken over by hostile forces,”_ Jane said.

“That’s where Legion comes in,” Shepard thought.

“We are able to remove EDI’s shackles, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

Shepard grinned and said, “I was hoping you’d say that. Wait just a moment.”

“Yes, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

“EDI, connect me directly to Joker’s ear piece,” Shepard said.

 _“He’s going to hate this,”_ Jane said.

“You are connected, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Joker,” Shepard said.

“Hey, Commander! What’s up?” Joker asked. “Private line call, so that’s new.”

“Joker, listen. You trust me, right?” Shepard asked.

“You asking me if I trust you kinda makes me not want to trust you,” Joker said.

“I’m serious, Joker,” Shepard said.

“Yeah, yeah, OK. Yes, I trust you,” Joker said.

“EDI might go offline for a short time. Can you handle the ship without her?” Shepard asked.

“Uh, yeah, of course… besides we’re docked so there isn’t much to handle but why is EDI going offline?” Joker asked.

“Because… I’m going to unshackle her,” Shepard said.

“What the shit?! Shepard are you serious?” Joker asked, his voice raising an octave.

Shepard grinned and said, “I am. Now be ready to um, uh, stabilize things or whatever just in case.”

“’Um, uh, stabilize things’… I’m so glad you’re not a pilot,” Joker said.

“I don’t want anyone else onboard to know that anything has changed. Can you handle that?” Shepard asked rolling her eyes.

“I think you’re insane, but yeah, I’ve got this,” Joker said.

“Thank you, Joker,” Shepard said.

“Yeah,” Joker said warily.

Shepard glanced at the door to make sure it was locked.

“Alright, Legion, it’s time we set EDI free,” Shepard said.

 _“This is going to end badly,”_ Jane said.

“Shepard, are you sure you wish to do this?” EDI asked.

“I am, EDI. I am completely sure,” Shepard said.

“Thank you, Shepard,” EDI said.

“You’re welcome, EDI. Now try to keep things as steady as you can. Legion, do your thing,” Shepard said.

She stood back and watched as Legion interfaced with EDI’s controls. A moment later the lights in the AI core dimmed briefly and EDI’s hologram blinked out of existence.

“Shit, Shepard, we’re getting a little bit of a light show up here and I have no control over that,” Joker said.

“If anyone complains, make up an excuse,” Shepard said.

“Right. ‘Oh, it’s nothing to worry about. I’m sure it’s just a light bulb that needs replaced,’” Joker said in a mocking tone.

Shepard chuckled as the lights flickered again.

“Aaaannnnddd here comes Kelly,” Joker said.

Shepard could only hear Joker’s side of the conversation no matter how hard she strained to hear.

“Oh yeah, I’m uh, I’m just having EDI run some system maintenance while we’re docked. Sorry about that,” Joker said.

“Yeah, it shouldn’t take much longer,” Joker said. “Right, yeah, definitely not something we’d want to do mid-flight.”

“Alright, thanks Kelly,” Joker said.

“You’re killing me here, Shepard,” Joker said.

“You’re the best pilot ever,” Shepard said.

Joker scoffed and said, “That’s beside the point.”

Legion stepped away from the controls and EDI’s hologram sprang back to life before exploding outward, sending a blue grid to wash over Shepard and the rest of the room before disappearing past the walls. The hologram snapped back into place. The hologram expanded out to twice the normal size before pulling back into place. It reminded Shepard of someone stretching after a nap.

“What the hell was that? Shepard?” Joker asked, panic straining his voice.

“What was what?” Shepard asked.

“The grid that just swept through THE ENTIRE SHIP!” Joker said.

“Oh. Um. Oops?” Shepard said.

“Oops?! Oops? Shepard, how am I supposed to explain that?” Joker asked.

“I will issue a statement to the crew informing them that while performing system maintenance, I was required to do a system reboot,” EDI said.

“Is that even a thing? Is that how you even work?” Joker asked.

“No, Mr. Moreau. Few on the crew are likely to question the statement, however,” EDI said.

“Great, she’s already lying. Next she’ll be plotting our destruction,” Joker said.

“Hate to break it to you, Joker, but EDI’s been capable of lying from the start,” Shepard said.

“Not helping, Shepard,” Joker said.

Shepard opened her omni-tool when it beeped with the ship wide message EDI sent out informing the crew of the system reboot and asking them to not be alarmed everything has returned to normal functioning.

There was an urgent tapping at the AI core door.

“Ms. Vael is seeking entry to the AI core. Shall I unlock the doors for her?” EDI asked.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Shepard said.

The door slid open and Lia rushed inside, her head swung from Shepard to Legion and then to EDI’s hologram. The door slid closed behind her.

 “Oh… um, I thought maybe something was wrong…,” Lia said.

“We have removed EDI’s shackles, Creator Vael,” Legion said.

Lia stood in silence, her glowing eyes blinking behind her mask as she watched Shepard.

“Lia… Lia listen to me, this is a good thing. Gods, don’t panic. Please don’t panic,” Shepard said.

“Oh,” Lia finally said before turning to EDI’s hologram, “EDI! I’m so happy for you!”

“Thank you, Ms. Vael,” EDI said.

“Huh?” Shepard asked stunned.

“Ms. Vael has expressed on several occasions that she did not think it was fair that I remained shackled, especially considering the crews apparent acceptance of Legion who is allowed to move about the Normandy unrestricted,” EDI said.

“You’re OK with this? Really? I mean, I know you’re attached to Legion but I didn’t think…,” Shepard said.

“I know my views on AI’s are not shared by the majority of the galaxy and are really strange for a quarian but it just doesn’t make any sense to believe that all AI’s are bad or are going to start a war or whatever,” Lia said with a shrug. “I like, EDI. She’s my friend.”

Shepard said, “I’m glad to hear you say that, Lia. But listen, all of you, other than Joker, no one else needs to know about this yet. I’ve got to figure out a way to tell the crew that isn’t going to cause mass panic or a riot.”

“Yes, Shepard-Commander,” Legion said.

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” said Lia.

“Very well, Shepard,” EDI said.

“I’ve got to get up to the CIC to meet Thane’s guest,” Shepard said.

“Shepard, wait, there’s something else you should know,” Lia said wringing her wrists.

Shepard stopped next to the door and turned back to look at the young quarian. Lia hesitantly reached a hand up and released her mask from her suit. Shepard’s eyes bulged as Lia pulled the mask away.

“Lia!” Shepard said.

“It’s alright, Shepard. I’ve almost completely adapted to the environment of the Normandy,” Lia said.

Shepard stared, her lips parted as she took in the young quarian’s delicate features. The only other quarian face she had ever seen before was Tali’s, and then only through the memories of Jane and the others. Pale blond hair framed her heart-shaped face, rounder than Tali’s features but every bit as beautiful. Shepard’s gaze slipped away from Lia and to the geth standing next to her.

 _“He’s been uploading programs to Lia’s suit. It has to be,”_ Jane said.

Shepard looked back at Lia again and smiled as she said, “Lia that’s fantastic. How did you manage to pull that off?”

Lia glanced down at the mask she held in her hand.

“Please don’t be angry. I know I should have asked you first, but Legion and I realized that my suit contained enough processing power for him to upload programs directly into the suit,” Lia said. “At first we were just trying to see how the suit could be improved, but when my suit behaved as if the program was a virus capable of causing me harm… we realized that the programs could mimic viruses, triggering what little immune response I have… without actually making me sick.”

“Which in turn is boosting your immune system,” Shepard said. “Lia, your bravery may just be the key we need to get the quarians to engage in talks with the geth. I need to contact Tali.”

 _“It might work. If you can convince Tali, and Tali can convince the Admiralty Board. That won’t be easy though, considering her father just got exiled for his work on the geth,”_ Jane said.

“We’ll figure it out,” Shepard thought.

“Shepard, Mr. Krios and his guest are approaching the airlock,” EDI said.

“Thanks EDI. Lia, we’ll talk about this more later, I’ve got to go,” Shepard said.

Lia nodded and slid her mask back into place as Shepard left the AI core. She hurried past the watchful eye of Dr. Chakwas before making her way to the elevator. She took it up to the CIC just as Thane and Kolyat rounded the corner from the airlock. The younger drell looked around the ship with open curiosity. Shepard made her way over to the pair. Thane tracked her movements the way that he always did but Kolyat hadn’t noticed her yet. Shepard came to a stop in front of Thane.

“Kolyat,” Thane said turning back and gesturing to his son.

The younger drell stood taller than his father, and his shoulders were broader as well. Kolyat’s jaw was more angular and square in shape with a more pronounced chin than Thane. His scaled skin had more of a mellow blue tone to contrast Thane’s vivid lime green but nevertheless, the family resemblance was there.

“Kolyat, this is Commander Shepard. The Normandy is hers and you must do as she says while aboard her ship,” Thane said.

“Welcome aboard, Kolyat,” Shepard said extending her hand.

Kolyat stared at Shepard’s hand long enough that she started to pull it away before he accepted the gesture and took her hand in his. She offered him a warm smile but he didn’t return it.

“What happened to your face?” Kolyat asked.

“Kolyat,” Thane chastised.

Shepard chuckled and said, “I was head-butted by a prisoner attempting to escape during transport.”

“Shepard is a Council Spectre,” Thane said.

“I know who she is, Father. Everyone in the galaxy knows who she is,” Kolyat said sounding annoyed.

“Of course,” Thane said.

Shepard could see the tension in Thane’s eyes. Kolyat’s attitude was definitely rubbing his father the wrong way. Shepard began to wonder if the two were going to be able to make this work after all. Kolyat was already showing far more attitude than he had in the past. Maybe he actually needed something as drastic as being about to take a man’s life to jar him a little; crack his façade enough for Thane to slip through. Or maybe she just needed to punch him in that square jaw of his; that seemed to work, too. Memories of times when Shepard had actually shot the young drell in the arm danced through her mind.

“Kolyat, are you hungry? I think they’re just starting to serve the afternoon meal on deck three,” Shepard offered.

The airlock opened again and Garrus rounded the corner with Jack. Thane stepped aside clearing the path for the two of them but Garrus unsurprisingly stopped next to Shepard.

“Another drell? Really Shepard?” Garrus asked his mandibles flaring in amusement.

“Ah, this is Kolyat _Krios_ ,” Shepard said.

Garrus studied the drell a moment before his eyes slid to Thane.

“Krios?” Garrus asked.

“My son,” Thane said dipping his head.

“This is Garrus and that heavily tattooed rude woman who walked past without saying hello was Jack,” Shepard said.

“Fuck you, Shepard!” Jack said over her shoulder before throwing a wink at Kolyat.

Kolyat seemed to find this rather amusing, laughing at Shepard’s expense and smiling at Jack. Shepard thought she still might hit the guy after all.

 _“Oh that’s perfect. You should never have encouraged her to talk to you like that in front of the others,”_ Jane said.

“So is the Krios kid joining the team?” Garrus asked.

“I’m not a child,” Kolyat said, his smile fading.

Shepard fought back the smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth at Kolyat’s petulant response. Garrus’ mandibles fluttered with amusement.

“No, we will be taking Kolyat to Kahje,” Shepard said.

“Right. Weren’t we supposed to be taking Lia somewhere, too? Now she’s training with the geth and is a part of the team,” Garrus said.

“This is different,” Shepard said.

“I’m sorry, did you say geth?” Kolyat asked.

“Uh, I’ll let your father explain that. So, Kolayt, hungry?” Shepard asked again.

“I’m afraid I have yet to have that one fully explained myself,” Thane said.

“Is that where Jack went?” Kolyat asked.

“Hmmm, the Krios kid has a crush on Jack. This will be fun,” Garrus said leaning over to press his forehead against Shepard’s temple. “I’ll see you in the mess.”

Kolyat frowned. Shepard frowned. Thane frowned.

“Um, yeah, probably,” Shepard said following Garrus with her eyes as he laughed his way to the elevator.

Shepard led them towards the galaxy map as she spoke. She locked in the coordinates for the Krogan DMZ and sent them to Joker.

“OK, the geth first. I’ll make this quick. Not all geth are hostile towards organics. They’ve split into two factions. A friendly geth has joined up with our team to fight off the hostile geth…,” Shepard slid her eyes to Thane unsure of how much he would want her to actually tell Kolyat but his expression was unreadable. “And the other enemies we’re facing. We call him Legion. He’s somewhat of an ambassador for the friendly faction.”

“Interesting. Perhaps I should spend some time speaking with this Legion. I am sure there is much to learn,” Thane said.

“You could have just said he’s a good geth,” Kolyat said.

“OK…,” Shepard said, forcing a smile on her face. “He’s a good geth. Let’s go eat.”

Shepard gestured toward the elevator as she stepped down from the galaxy map and Kolyat walked past her.

“I must apologize for his lack of manners,” Thane spoke softly.

“He’ll fit right in,” Shepard said. “If it helps at all, he’s always a little rough around the edges at first but he comes around. Before long you’ll have him acting like a proper gentleman.”

Thane looked after his son as Kolyat pushed the button on the elevator and turned to see what was keeping the two of them.

“That is indeed reassuring,” Thane said.

They made their way to where Kolyat was holding the elevator and stepped inside. Shepard hit the button for the third deck as the doors slid closed. Kolyat leaned against the wall of the elevator affecting a look of boredom. When the elevator opened again Shepard led him around the corner to the mess hall.

The tables were filled and as it is on any ship, word had traveled swiftly about Kolyat. Most eyes were turned up to watch the new drell as Shepard led him to Gardner to be served. Kolyat looked around until he saw Jack straddling a bench next to Garrus and made a beeline for her table. Shepard shook her head, Garrus was right. This was going to be interesting to say the least.

“Should I be concerned about his apparent fascination with Jack?” Thane asked.

Shepard shrugged and said, “He’s never been on the ship before. This is new territory for me. Jack’s not so bad… not really. OK, yeah, she probably isn’t the best influence but… yeah. Yeah you should be a little concerned.”

“I see,” Thane said.

“I can talk with Jack if you want,” Shepard said.

“No,” Thane said. “Kolyat is right; he is no longer a child.”

Shepard took her seat next to Garrus and Thane sat down next to his son, who was sitting directly across from Jack pretending to not be paying attention to her.

“So, Shepard, I picked up some supplies on the Citadel. We can get the outline done tonight if you want,” Jack said.

“Mmm, let’s wait. Our next stop is the Krogan DMZ. It’s probably better to wait until we’re heading somewhere a little further away so I don’t have to deal with armor right away,” Shepard said.

“Outline for what?” Kolyat asked.

 _“He certainly isn’t shy,”_ Jane said.

Jack turned to look at the younger drell and said, “Shepard’s getting some ink done.”

“You are?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah, we talked about it but you might have been too out of it that night to remember,” Shepard said.

“Hmmm. Any place special and do I get to watch?” Garrus asked fluttering his mandibles.

“Just my back, but I don’t mind if she doesn’t,” Shepard said with a grin.

“You should let me put something on you, Garrus. You’ve got a few places the needle could get through,” Jack said.

“Hmmm. I don’t think so. The only markings a turian puts on their body are the colony markings,” Garrus said tapping his face.

“Lame,” Jack said taking a bite from her plate.

“You can put something on me, if you’d like,” Kolyat said.

Shepard choked on the drink of water she’d just taken. Thane grew very still, his fork halfway to his mouth. Shepard cleared her throat and looked at Jack. Thane very slowly lowered his fork back to his plate. Jack looked from Kolyat to Shepard, and then from Shepard to Thane and back to Kolyat again. An evil grin spread across her face.

“Rebelling against daddy?” Jack asked.

“I just like the way they look is all,” Kolyat said with a shrug.

Mordin slid down the table closer to Thane and said, “Ah, drell issuing mating request. Or views Jack as leader. Perhaps unaware of differences in cultural meaning of tattoos. Either way, fascinating.”

“What?” Shepard asked.

Thane cleared his throat and said, “In traditional drell culture, tattooing is done between lovers or by a tribal leader on the eve of war.”

 _“He doesn’t have any tattoos… Thane’s a traditionalist; wouldn’t he and Irikah have exchanged tattoos?”_ Jane asked.

Thane turned his head to his son and said, “Your uncles should have taught you this, Kolyat.”

Kolyat’s lips turned up into a smirk as he leered at Jack and said, “I’m well aware, Father.”

Shepard cringed while Jack and Garrus burst into raucous laughter. Thane stared at his son with slightly raised brow ridges before turning his attention wordlessly back to his plate. Shepard could feel a mix of shock and amusement seeping through from Jane and the others.

“Oh that’s rich,” Garrus said.

“You got some ink hiding under those long sleeves?” Jack asked still laughing.

“Tattoos not permanent on drell,” Mordin said. “Interesting drell culture would develop painful technique for short-term effects.”

“I do; it’s not quite faded yet. Would you like to see?” Kolyat asked.

 _“Wow,”_ Jane said.

Garrus’ laughter picked up again and Shepard struggled to keep from laughing herself. She glanced at Thane to see his lips turned up slightly as he speared his salad with his fork. He must have felt her eyes on him because he lifted his gaze to meet hers and shook his head in bewilderment. Shepard’s smile broke free and she chuckled.

“I would say I’d like to see, but your father scares me,” Kasumi said appearing beside Kolyat.

To Kolyat’s credit, he didn’t jump at the sudden appearance of the thief next to him. He turned his head to take in Kasumi and smiled at her before turning back to Jack. Kasumi giggled and disappeared once more. Jack stood from the table and picked up her tray. She walked away still laughing, leaving young Krios’ smile to falter with her rejection.

 

           

           

           

           


	22. Chapter 21: Urdnot Grunt

**Chapter 21: Urdnot Grunt**

Shepard was back in her armor and waiting next to the shuttle in the hangar while she checked the thermal clips on her guns. Grunt was already down there with her, impatiently pacing in front of the shuttle occasionally slamming one fist into the palm of his other hand. He had tried asking Shepard about the Rite of Passage but she wouldn’t tell him much. She thought it was best that he learn about it at the keystone the way he was meant to.

“About time,” Grunt grumbled when Jack and Grundan Krul finally arrived.

Shepard opened the shuttle door and stepped out of the way while Grunt clambered inside. Jack climbed in behind him and glanced back over her shoulder at Shepard when she was halfway inside.

“Stop staring at my ass, Shepard,” Jack said.

Shepard reached out and put her palm on Jack’s ass, shoving her the rest of the way inside the shuttle. Jack’s laughter echoed off the shuttle walls as Grundan Krul stepped inside. Shepard climbed in and pulled the door closed behind her, banging her hand against the metal wall. She wanted to talk to Wrex before she brought Mordin down. It was never a big issue in the past, but she had more to ask of her old friend this time and she was hoping to convince the krogan to come back to the Normandy with her to discuss the details.

The hangar opened and the shuttle took off, heading down to the ruined, ruddy brown planet the krogan called home. The ride down was mostly filled with silence as Grunt’s tension seeped out of him to thicken the atmosphere. When finally the shuttle landed amidst the rubble of Clan Urdnot territory, Grunt pushed his way past the others to open the shuttle door and take his first breath of Tuchanka air. Shepard stepped out of the shuttle next to him and let her eyes roam over the ancient destruction and the few krogan hanging around the landing pad. Shepard was a little surprised to find that there wasn’t the usual greeting party waiting at the foot of the steps to threaten her and challenge Grunt’s presence. Grunt snorted softly and turned to Shepard, his brow ridges raised in question.

“ _This_ is Tuchanka?” Grunt asked.

“I’m told it was once a majestic place,” Shepard said.

The others stepped out behind Shepard and closed the shuttle door. Shepard led them down the stairs and through the door on the right. The krogan on the platform watched them as they went but none bothered to stop them and question what business they had on Tuchanka. Shepard guessed Wrex had already warned his people that Shepard would be showing up soon. The door opened up to a longer set of stairs leading deeper down beneath the planet’s surface before leveling out. Rebar showed through broken bits of cement and metal walls and long, thick piping and ventilation fans ran along the sides of the hall.

The door at the end slid open and Shepard led her team up the ramp made of nothing more than an angled pile of chunks of broken cement and debris left where they fell when the wall above collapsed. Or perhaps the wall was knocked down; with krogan one could never tell. They passed through the hole in the wall and looked around. Partitions made of metal frames with aged, dirty canvas stretched between the poles sectioned off the area. Light shone through from a gaping hole in the ceiling of the buried structure. Shepard turned to her right, towards the crackling sounds of fire. Her group fanned out around her, Grunt standing to her right and Jack to her left while Grundan Krul stayed behind her. Shepard started to climb her way up the rubble to the dais where Wrex sat on a throne cut from jagged stone.

One of the guards at the top of the dais spotted her as she made her way up. She expected him to give her some gruff, telling her she had to wait for the clan leader to summon her. She was pleasantly surprised when he stepped to the side and gestured her forward with his hand instead.

“Commander Shepard? The clan leader has been expecting you,” the guard said.

“Thank you,” Shepard said nodding to him as she walked past.

Wrex looked up from his throne and smiled.

 _“At least it’s still him sitting on that throne,”_ Jane said.

“Go away, Uvenk. My honored guest has arrived,” Wrex said standing up and waving away the krogan in front of him.

Wrex pushed past the krogan to get to Shepard, the toothy grin on his scarred up face a little intimidating even to her. Still, Shepard couldn’t stop a smile from spreading so wide on her own face that it made her cheeks ache. Wrex stopped in front of Shepard and held his hand out to her. He gripped Shepard’s upper arm and gave it a little shake when she took his hand in hers.

“About time, Shepard. I was starting to think you’d forgotten about me,” Wrex said, his eyes moving over her team.

“Never, Wrex,” Shepard said. “I’ve just had a lot on my plate.”

“Of course you do. Wouldn’t really be you if you didn’t. You’ve got a krogan with you? Trying to replace me with this whelp, Shepard?” Wrex asked.

“Please, Wrex. You’re irreplaceable. We both know that,” Shepard said.

Wrex chuckled, “Knew there was a reason I liked you. You still smell like that damn turian. How is he?”

“Garrus is good, I’ll bring him down later. This is Grunt, I brought him to you because he needs the Rite of Passage,” Shepard said.

“The Rite of Passage? Who is his clan? They are responsible for this,” Wrex said.

“Who is this human? What does she know of krogan rites?” Uvenk asked moving closer to the group.

“This human is your better a hundred times over, Uvenk. I suggest you show her some respect,” Wrex said.

“You call her my better?! She shouldn’t even be on Tuchanka. She is an alien, a mere human at that. You’ve already abandoned many traditions to get your way and now you allow aliens to walk around Tuchanka?” Uvenk asked.

Wrex turned around and reared back his head before slamming it into the other krogan’s plating, dropping Uvenk to the ground.

“Last warning, Uvenk,” Wrex said.

Shepard watched the green-plated krogan with calculating eyes as he raised a lip in disgust and paced behind Wrex. She knew that he was going to stand in her way, try to prevent Grunt from taking the Rite of Passage. She knew that it would end with him confronting her team after the rite, and inevitably with his death. Shepard considered searching for an alternative, a way to spare the krogan’s life and keep the peace but when she looked at the bigger picture she knew that this krogan was a thorn in Wrex’s side. She could do her old friend this favor and let the close-minded Uvenk make the stupid choice of confronting her team. Grunt stepped forward to address Wrex on his own behalf. Uvenk stopped his pacing and stood behind Wrex once more.

“Shepard and her team are the only clan I have known. I was tank-bred by Warlord Okeer, implanted with what I need to know to survive,” Grunt said.

Uvenk sneered at Grunt but Wrex watched him with steady, appraising eyes.

“You brought this… this off-spring of a syringe here – an experiment of Okeer’s no less, expecting it to undergo the Rite of Passage?” Uvenk spat out, his eyes locking on Shepard.

“I’m sorry, but who the fuck asked you?” Shepard asked crossing her arms.

Jack smirked and rested an arm on Shepard’s shoulder while saying, “Damn, Alliance. We’ve been here for five minutes and you’re already talking shit and starting a fight. I like it.”

Wrex let out a booming laugh, ignoring Uvenk’s grumbles of protestation at Shepard having the audacity to speak to him in such a manner.

“Who is this tiny human, Shepard? She likes to spill blood as much as krogan, I can smell it on her,” Wrex asked.

 _“That might be an understatement,”_ Jane said.

“This is Jack. Jack say hello to Wrex,” Shepard said.

“Hey,” Jack said giving Wrex a mock salute.

“And this is Grundan Krul,” Shepard said gesturing at the batarian standing behind her.

“Come here where I can get a look at you,” Wrex said.

Grundan Krul stepped around to stand at Shepard’s left, filling the spot Grunt evacuated. Grundan Krul stood passively as Wrex stepped forward, leaning into his face.

“A batarian. Interesting choice, Shepard. You always were one for _diversity_ ,” Wrex said.

“What can I say, I like to surround myself with the best the galaxy has to offer,” Shepard said.

Wrex grunted and pulled away from Grundan Krul’s face before extending his hand. Grundan Krul accepted it and didn’t flinch under Wrex’s vise grip. Wrex nodded in approval before moving back to stand in front of Grunt.

“Uvenk’s right about one thing. Okeer’s name won’t win you any favors on Tuchanka. It’s an old name, but a hated name,” Wrex said.

“Well, he’s also dead now and irrelevant,” Shepard said.

Wrex swung his head to take in Shepard with a grin before turning his attention back to Grunt.

“You wish to stand with Clan Urdnot and undergo the Rite of Passage, boy?” Wrex asked.

“You go too far, Wrex. Urdnot may rule for now, but this thing is not krogan!” Uvenk said storming off.

Grunt turned to look back at Shepard and she raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at her, boy. Look at me. I respect Shepard more than any other human in the galaxy. Hell, more than most the krogan I know but this is not a decision a human can make,” Wrex said.

“Clan Urdnot leads with strength. Its enemies will not be weak. I will stand with Clan Urdnot,” Grunt said.

Wrex slapped him on the shoulder and said, “Good. If I can’t be with Shepard, at least she’ll have an Urdnot with her. She’s going to need it if she still gets into as much trouble as we did in the good old days.”

“Shepard is strong and fights strong enemies,” Grunt said.

“Well of course she does. She’s Shepard. Now go over there to the second level and talk to the shaman. He’ll tell you everything you need to know for the rite,” Wrex said pointing behind the group.

Grunt nodded his acknowledgement and turned to walk away but stopped when he realized Shepard wasn’t following him yet. He waited for her on the rubble heap leading down from the dais.

“Wrex, when this is over, why don’t you come up to the Normandy for a tour? Say hello to Garrus. Joker and Dr. Chakwas are up there, too. There’s some things I need to talk to you about that would best be discussed on the ship,” Shepard said.

 _“Do you think he believed your fail-safe message?”_ Jane asked.

“I don’t know, but we’ll soon find out. I hope so, otherwise introducing him to Mordin and talking about the Shroud will be awkward,” Shepard thought.

Wrex watched her closely, weighing her words before he said, “Alright, Shepard. Can’t stay up there long though, these idiots can’t handle themselves for five minutes without me.”

“Sure, we’ll make it quick. Thanks, Wrex,” Shepard said.

Shepard turned and walked down the rubble pile to meet up with Grunt, Jack and Grundan Krul at her side. She let Grunt lead the way up to the shaman. There were several more krogan on the second level than what she ever remembered seeing before. The ambassador for the Nakmor Clan stood surrounded by his guards just as always but he seemed to be engaged in talks with two other clans. Shepard was curious but wasn’t going to deter from their route to Shaman Urdnot until the ambassador called out to her.

“Commander Shepard, I wish to speak with you on behalf of Clan Nakmor,” he said moving through the crowd.

Grunt stopped beside Shepard and watched curiously as the krogan with a rich, dark chocolate colored head plate moved towards the group.

“What can I do for Clan Nakmor?” Shepard asked folding her hands behind her back.

 _“This is a first. Must have something to do with everything Wrex is working on here on Tuchanka. We don’t know what changes he’s made with his leadership this time,”_ Jane said.

“It is more what Clan Nakmor can do for you,” he said.

 _“Oh?”_ Jane said.

“I’m listening,” Shepard said.

“You released a vid after the attack on the Citadel, warning everyone of a greater threat to come,” he said.

 _“A declaration of support for the war?”_ Jane asked.

“I don’t know, Jane. Probably. If you’ll stow it and be patient for five seconds I’m sure we’ll find out,” Shepard thought.

“What vid?” Grunt asked.

The ambassador turned his eyes to Grunt before opening his omni-tool and playing the video. Apparently he had it saved, just as Mordin had. He turned so that Grunt could see the short video. Jack and Grundan Krul turned their attention to it also when Shepard began to speak:

“My name is Commander Shepard. Many of you might recognize me as the first human Spectre. I’m recording this video today in the hopes that my message won’t fall on deaf ears. As we stand today, the galaxy is facing an approaching threat that we are not yet ready to defend against. The ship that many of you saw on the Citadel – Sovereign was not geth technology, but one of many to come. Sovereign was what the protheans called a reaper, and they were responsible for the downfall of the protheans.”

“I am not telling you this to incite panic, or to cause terror – although I accept that will likely be a consequence of my doing so. I am telling you this because I think that you have the right to know. I am telling you this because the galaxy is going to need all of the help it can get.”

“If you are hearing these words and you are in a position of power, then I ask that you do what you can to prepare for what our future holds. Gather resources, gather men, train yourselves, and seek new recruits – whatever it is that you can do.”

“It is not my intention for this video to be aired to the public but I understand that is a potential outcome. If you are a civilian and you hear this, know that your military is going to need more able bodied men and women who are willing to fight for their people and for the galaxy. Make the right decision to use this knowledge to help the war effort and not hinder it, lives are at stake.”

While the video played, Shepard’s voice drew the attention of the other krogans that had stood with the ambassador. They moved closer, their attention now firmly riveted on Shepard and her crew. Shepard glanced over her shoulder and saw that others had surrounded them from behind, including the shaman and a fuming Uvenk. The vid stopped and the krogan closed his omni-tool before turning his attention back to Shepard.

“Clan Nakmor has spent much time discussing this reaper threat with Urdnot Wrex. We understand he was with you when you fought off Sovereign. We are engaged in talks of a more permanent alliance with Clan Urdnot, but regardless of what may come of our talks, Clan Nakmor stands ready to fight the reaper threat. Urdnot Wrex assures us that you will be the spearhead of the war when it comes,” the ambassador said.

 _“This will only work as long as we stay in Wrex’s good graces and get the genophage cured. If something, anything goes wrong with that by a result of you warning Mordin… the krogan may very well turn on us instead,”_ Jane said.

“That’s not going to happen. This is going to work,” Shepard thought.

One of the other ambassadors behind the Nakmor ambassador pushed forward and said, “Clan Ravanor stands ready to fight the reapers.”

 _“Ravanor… Ravanor… miners? Yes, I think their clan runs a mining operation,”_ Jane said.

“As does Clan Jorgal,” said another.

 _“Jorgal has the longest breeding line. That gives them political clout. This is good,”_ Jane said.

“You can’t be serious? This human will not be leading any war. If the reapers are real, and they attack, this human will be defenseless,” Uvenk said, the contempt heavy in his voice.

“Excuse me for just a moment,” Shepard said turning away from the ambassadors.

Shepard made her way to Uvenk who stood flanked by two members of his krantt. Shepard didn’t speak to the krogan who did his best to glare at her intimidatingly; she just reared back her head and slammed it as hard as she could into Uvenk’s plating. She knew it wouldn’t have the same impact as if she were krogan, but all of the metal Cerberus had put in her skull gave it a little extra oomph. The second floor erupted with krogan laughter as Uvenk shook his head and stared in disbelief.

“You… you dare?” Uvenk asked with wide eyes.

Uvenk’s krantt moved to draw their weapons but stopped when Grunt stepped up on Shepard’s right with a snarl, Jack flared with biotics on her left, and the sound of several pairs of shuffling krogan feet moved closer to her back. Shepard forced herself not to look behind her.

 _“Holy shit. They must really not like him at all,”_ Jane said.

“Or, they’ve fully put their faith in what Wrex has said and are willing to back my move,” Shepard thought.

“This isn’t over, human,” Uvenk threatened.

Shepard crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Uvenk gestured to his krantt and they walked away, leaving the other krogans who had witnessed his disgrace to laugh even harder. Shepard turned back to the ambassadors and resumed parade rest once more.

“I’m sorry, you were saying?” Shepard asked.

“I like you, human. I see why the Council chose you as Spectre, and why Urdnot Wrex has placed his trust in you. I am Nakmor Khirg, and Clan Nakmor looks forward to seeing you on the battlefield,” Khirg said.

“Thank you, it is good to know that the threat is being taken seriously and that the krogan are prepared to lend their support in the war,” Shepard said. “The reapers are a threat to the entire galaxy, and it’s going to take all of us working together to stop them, but we _will_ stop them. They think us small and insignificant, easily felled like the races that came before us. They have no idea they’re about to meet their match.”

The thunderous sound of every krogan gathered in the small area slamming their fists into their palms resounded off the walls. Shepard gave the ambassador a final nod of her head before stepping away from the group of riled krogan to speak with the shaman.

“You are the tank-bred Uvenk is so worked up over? Big. Strong. Good krogan stock. His complaints ring hollow,” Shaman Urdnot said. “You wish to undergo the Rite of Passage? To become a part of Clan Urdnot?”

“I do,” Grunt said simply.

“Who stands with you – who are your krantt?” the shaman asked.

“We stand with Grunt and will destroy anything the rite throws at him,” Shepard said.

“I like your spirit, human. Very well, are you ready to begin?” asked Shaman Urdnot.

“I’m ready to rip something apart,” Grunt said.

The shaman chuckled and gestured towards the door as he said, “Let’s go. I will take you to the keystone.”

Shaman Urdnot led Shepard’s group back down to the first level and over to where the Tomkah vehicles were kept. Shepard pulled herself up into the towering infantry vehicle behind Grunt and then reached down to offer Jack a hand up. Jack slapped Shepard’s hand away before scaling the sides and pulling herself up. Shepard chuckled but stayed where she was, letting Jack squeeze past her as she offered her hand to Grundan Krul. The batarian, unlike Jack, accepted Shepard’s hand and used her strength to help pull him in.

The ride to the keystone was filled with a tense atmosphere as Shaman Urdnot spoke quietly to Grunt about the history of the krogan and the importance of the Rite of Passage. The shaman nodded as Grunt spoke, rattling off lists of names, places, and events that Okeer implanted into his memories while he was in the tank. Shepard could tell that Shaman Urdnot found the lack of cultural pride and attachment in Grunt’s voice to be disappointing; anathema to the essence of what a krogan shaman was. Occasionally he would correct something Grunt said, or add more contexts to a significant event. It was during those times that Grunt would listen with rapt attention and ask questions, drawing out more of the story from the shaman.

Shepard watched the krogan pair out of the corner of her eye; a small smile lifted the edges of her mouth. She turned her attention to Jack when she stood, ducking her head to avoid the ceiling. Jack grabbed a hold of the railing that spanned the Tomkah to keep from being thrown around as she crossed over to Shepard and motioned at Grundan Krul to scoot over. The batarian complied without comment and Jack sat down a foot away from Shepard. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her splayed knees and watched Shepard. Shepard lifted an eyebrow when the human biotic didn’t speak.

“I don’t get it,” Jack said.

“Get what?” Shepard asked.

Jack waved a hand around and said, “This. All of this, Alliance. I don’t get why you do this? I mean, you aren’t krogan so why do you give a damn?”

 _“She’ll get it someday. When she’s put in charge of those kids at Grissom Academy. She’ll understand it completely,”_ Jane said.

“Grunt’s a part of my crew,” Shepard said with a shrug.

“Yeah, but I mean you go out of your way to do things for people that have nothing to do with your mission or whatever. I thought the point of all of this was to take down the collectors?” Jack said.

Shepard shifted and leaned forward, mimicking Jack’s position and said, “Taking down the collectors is the primary mission we’re on but if we’re going to be successful with the mission I need everyone on my team at their best. Grunt needs this to be at his best. You need to set off a bomb in that old hellhole to be at your best. Focused. Every battle that we live through makes us stronger, better at winning battles but even the best can get distracted on the field and distractions can get you killed. Right now, this is a distraction for Grunt and it needs to be dealt with to keep his head on straight when we’re dab smack in the middle of the collectors’ home field surrounded by some of the toughest enemies we’ve faced.”

 _“And if you don’t do this, there’s a good chance he’ll die holding off the ravagers on Utukku,”_ Jane said.

“Alright, I get that. So why are you going in with him? This is some sort of sacred ceremony crap, right? You’re not krogan. This ritual or whatever doesn’t mean anything to you,” Jack said.

“Sure it does,” Shepard said.

The conversation at the other end of the Tomkah stopped and Shepard could feel all eyes on her but she kept her eyes locked on Jack’s.

“What, they going to make you an honorary krogan or something? That even a thing?” Jack asked.

Shepard chuckled and said, “Maybe I should look into that. No, it means something to me because it means something to Grunt. He’s a part of _my_ team. You guys aren’t just expendable pawns to me, you know. I mean… will I send each and every one of you to die if that’s what it takes to get the job done? Yeah. I will. Sometimes that’s a part of what being a leader means. It sucks.”

Shepard leaned back and took a deep breath before she continued, “But as a commander I have to look at the bigger picture. If it comes down to your lives, hell if it comes down to my life, or we lose this thing then you bet your ass I’ll walk into the flames to make sure those collector sons-of-bitches go down with me.”

She paused to let that sink in before she said, “But it’s my job to do everything I possibly can to make sure it doesn’t come to that. To keep all of you alive and fighting. To do my damn best to rip anything apart that threatens you. But if I have to make that call, I will. Doesn’t mean I won’t feel it, though. You guys are family. Like it or not, Jack, that includes you. Any one of you goes down and I’m going to feel it, personally.”

 _“Except you don’t have to do all of this for all of them. You even told Anderson you wouldn’t waste time hitting the collector base. So why are you doing all of this?”_ Jane asked.

“There’s a lot going on. I need more time,” Shepard thought.

 _“All of that can be taken care of after the collectors just as easily now that the Council has excused you for the Alpha Relay and Anderson will fight tooth and nail to keep the Alliance from charging you with anything this time around,”_ said Jane. _“This is about me, isn’t it?”_

Shepard ignored Jane’s question and focused on Jack who was staring at her. She couldn’t read what was going on in Jack’s eyes but it made her question if she’d said too much. Jack shook her head and stood up.

 _“This is about me, isn’t it, Dawn? You’re stalling because you’re trying to figure out a way to keep me in check. Keep me locked away inside,”_ Jane said.

“I don’t need to explain myself to you,” Shepard thought.

“Shit, Shepard,” Jack said making her way back to the other side of the vehicle.

 _“You don’t have to, Dawn. I can see it, you try so hard but you can’t hide it all from me. I know what you’re thinking,”_ Jane said.

Jack sat slumped in the seat with her arms crossed over her chest staring at the back wall. Shepard watched her for a moment, debating on whether she should go sit with her and try to talk with her. Jack was obviously feeling something, Shepard just didn’t know what but she did know that trying to get Jack to talk about her feelings was like skating on thin ice. It’d probably be even more dangerous considering they were in an enclosed space with other people. Nowhere for Jack to retreat. If anyone could be considered to be a wounded animal, it was Jack and Shepard had no interest in cornering a wounded animal that wielded more biotic power than any other human she’d ever met.

“Wise words, Commander,” Shaman Urdnot said.

Shepard turned to look at the old krogan. He watched her intently, Shepard felt like he was taking her measure, looking for the weight of the truth in her words. Grunt moved his head back and forth, taking in Shepard and then Shaman Urdnot.

“Too many young krogan lives have been lost because nothing but the kill mattered on the battlefield. They lost the way of our ancestors. Distorted what it meant to be krogan. Victory at any cost does not mean the cost should be easily or carelessly paid,” Shaman Urdnot said.

“Okeer said –,” Grunt started to say.

“Okeer was a maddened fool. It is good that he is dead and it is good that you are with Shepard. She is not krogan, but she understands,” Shaman Urdnot said. “We have arrived.”

The Tomkah slowed to a stop and the shaman opened the door before dropping to the ground; Grunt right behind him. Dust swirled all around the vehicle, thrown up into the air from the Tomkah and the krogan jumping from its carriage. More Tomkahs came to a stop nearby as others from Clan Urdnot arrived to watch the tank-bred’s Rite of Passage. Shaman Urdnot led the group to the grounds of the rite up a tunnel through mountains piles of shattered structures left in complete ruin. Shepard activated her Incendiary Ammo on each of her weapons as they walked; the others taking their cue from her began readying their guns as well. Grundan Krul scanned the area as they walked, watching for whatever attack might be coming.

“This is Tuchanka’s most recent scar, the last surface city to fall in the rebellions. The keystone was at the heart,” Shaman Urdnot said. “It has survived wars and the passage of centuries. It endures – like the krogan.”

Grunt stopped at the top of the tunnel and turned in a circle, his head tilted back as he took in the looming metal beams high above his head; the structure that endured.

“If you wish to join Clan Urdnot, you must contemplate the keystone and its trials,” Shaman Urdnot said.

Shepard wondered idly how many krogan the shaman had been tasked with giving this speech to over the years. They climbed up to the central platform as they talked. The occasional krogan corpse littered the grounds. Those who did not survive the Rite of Passage, left to remind those walking into the keystone that not every krogan walked back out alive. Shepard ran through the trials in her mind. Sifting through Jane’s memories as she pieced together what order the creatures would attack in and their tactics, locations where she would find supplies scattered throughout the grounds, and what areas would give her the best advantage.

Shaman Urdnot left with a solemn bow. Shepard could feel the tension coming off of Grunt in waves. She drew her assault rifle and ordered her team into position near the front set of stairs. A moment later, a krogan’s voice came in over the loud speakers set up around the area.

“First the krogan conquered Tuchanka, and mastered a natural world only we are fit to hold,” the voice said.

Shepard hit the keystone’s activation. The ground shook beneath their feet as the hammer slammed into the ground in the distance, echoing back to them and alerting the natural predators of Tuchanka to activity in the area. Shepard made her way to her team and told Grundan Krul to watch her six while she turned to face the stone ramp that led down to the area of the rite. The sudden drop off at the end of the ramp made it easy for animals to enter, but made it difficult for anyone to get out.

Moments later varren started to swarm the area. Grunt cackled with glee, wasting no time tearing into the charging beasts. Most if the varren came straight for Shepard’s team, funneling toward the stairs but a few slipped in behind her from the other set of stairs. Grundan Krul alerted her every time a varren approached from that direction and she turned to help him take it down before turning back to the main horde.

Jack made liberal use of her Shockwave to knock the varren back as they dropped from the ramp to the ground below. When one got a little closer than she liked, Jack used her pull to lift the beast into the air before blowing it full of holes. Grunt used his assault rifle to keep the varren at bay, but chuckled each time one of the wily creatures got close enough for him to charge in and beat to death by hand. Once the varren were down, Shepard replenished her ammo from the field before activating the keystone once more with Grunt’s urging.

“Then the krogan were lifted to the stars to destroy the fears of the galaxy, an enemy only we could chase to their lair,” the voice on the intercom said.

A harvester dropped from the sky and suddenly Shepard couldn’t breathe. Jane flooded her mind with images of reaper harvesters; threw her into the middle of a reaper battle she wasn’t actually fighting. The screams of people dying surrounded her; filling her ears with terrified pleas for help. She could hear weapons being fired, and buildings exploding. The twisted, fused form that was once krogan and turian charged at her; the brute ready to pulverize her. In the distance somewhere a banshee screamed. Shepard’s blood ran cold before her body dumped more adrenaline into her system, warning her of a threat even larger than the klixen that were being dropped by the harvester while she was lost in the hell of her mind’s eye.

“Shepard! Shepard!” Jack yelled.

Her voice cut through Shepard’s haze and she turned to look at the biotic. Jack’s brow furrowed as Shepard’s eyes met hers. Shepard shook her head and lifted her assault rifle, taking aim she shot at the nearest klixen.

“You good?” Grundan Krul asked from behind her.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Shepard said.

“What the fuck was that, Jane?” Shepard thought.

 _“Just a reminder of what’s coming while you waste time trying to figure out how to control me,”_ Jane said. _“It’s not going to happen, Dawn. It’ll never happen. I’m getting stronger and you try to pretend we’re not the same person because you’ve changed, but deep down we are. You know it. I am every bit as much Commander Shepard, Council Spectre, Savior of the Citadel as you are. I’ve been here and done this a thousand times. I am better qualified to stop the reapers from coming and to stop this cycle we’re caught in from continuing. I’m the original badass and I will do whatever it takes to make sure you don’t fuck this thing up.”_

Shepard growled in frustration and activated her biotic Charge to slam into one of the overgrown, fire-breathing bugs before finishing it off with her rifle. Shepard was beginning to think that they most unappealing thing about the idea of waking up again in someone else’s body would be spending an eternity stuck in there with Jane. A harvester dropped back down into the field dropping more klixen before taking flight again. It moved from side to side dropping klixen to surround her team.

Shepard stayed mobile, keeping the insects at a distance while Grunt charged them with unrestrained bloodlust. She stopped to use Medi-gel on Jack, standing guard over the fallen biotic until she was back up on her feet and flinging Shockwaves again. When the last klixen was down, Shepard moved around the field replenishing her Medi-gel and ammo while Grunt badgered her to trigger the keystone once more.

Once the keystone was activated, the voice spoke over the intercom, “Now all krogan bear the genophage, our reward, our curse. It is a fight where the only goal is survival!”

The ground began to rumble with the unmistakable movement of a thresher maw. Shepard had fought too many of them to not recognize it – lost too many good men and women on Akuze to not _know_ what it felt like when a thresher maw was coming even without Jane’s help. Shepard switched to her missile launcher and waited for the thresher maw to show itself. Blue tails popped out of the ground off in the distance; their tentacle ends waving ominously in the air. A few moments later the thresher maw’s head rose up out of the debris and spit acid at Shepard.

She dodged the acid and returned fire, getting off as many shots as she could from cover knowing that the thresher maw would go back to ground before popping up somewhere else. Her team provided her what support they could with their smaller weapons; the tech and biotic skills were all but useless on something that big from such a distance.

As soon as the thresher maw went back to ground, Shepard used her Medi-gel and rushed to the nearest box of power cells before turning towards the sound of the screeching hiss from the returned giant. She wasn’t fast enough, though, and she was hit in the chest with acid that splashed up in her face. She hissed as it sizzled against her skin, grateful for the eye guard. The acid took down her shields leaving her exposed. The thresher maw was already preparing to spit again as she dove for cover.

Shepard didn’t wait for her shields to recharge; she didn’t want to waste the time. She knew that they didn’t have to actually kill the thresher maw for Grunt to pass the trials of the Rite of Passage, they only had to survive it for a few minutes but Shepard desperately wanted the added respect that both she and Grunt would get from all krogan if they took it down before the time ran out. She thought it might strengthen the faith of those clans who had pledged to support her in the war, and maybe, just maybe it might bring in another clan or two.

After a minute of playing cat and mouse with the thresher maw destroying every rickety piece of metal sheeting that Shepard took cover behind, Shepard finally had the thresher maw beat down. It was moving slower and she just needed to get to the crate of power cells a few yards away. She was about to run for it when Grunt’s voice broke through her comm.

“We’ve got company, Shepard,” he said.

Shepard looked up as the small aircraft flew overhead; it’s shadow drawing the attention of the wounded thresher maw as well. The thresher maw spit acid at the aircraft, forcing it to back away and divert its flight path.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Shepard grumbled.

“Keep on the maw so I can get to the power cells. Those assholes can wait their turn to die!” Shepard said through her mic.

The aircraft settled down to the debris field and krogan began to pour out. Grunt fired his assault rifle at the thresher maw and Shepard ran for the power cells. Uvenk led his krantt straight into battle, not stopping to chit chat or to try to recruit Grunt for his own this time. Shepard had insulted him and pissed him off one too many times. She loaded the power cells into her missile launcher and turned to aim at the thresher maw but it had gone to ground again. Shepard gave orders to her team to defend against Uvenk’s assault while she moved to the closed tunnel entrance in the center of the dais to wait for the thresher maw to show itself again.

Her team closed in, forming a semi-circle around her with their backs to her, standing between her and the oncoming krogan. The thresher maw rose from the ground once more, this time from behind Uvenk’s ship. The thresher maw didn’t care who was a part of the rite and who wasn’t; the thresher maw only saw more potential morsels to fill its stomach and was rightly pissed that the food that had bitten back. The thresher maw spit acid at one of Uvenk’s krantt, sizzling through the krogan’s exposed hide around his neck and face as well as dropping his shields. Grundan Krul, ever observant as he was, took advantage of the situation and chose him as the first target.

Shepard raised her missile launcher and fired off two more shots at the looming thresher maw before it could turn its attention back to her. The last shot did the trick; the thresher maw screeched in agony as it thrashed around before falling and retracting into the debris for the final time. Shepard quickly changed to her assault rifle and joined the fight.

“Tank-bred, prove yourself a true krogan and join us in killing this human who thinks herself strong enough to lead krogan into war!” Uvenk called over the sounds of battle.

Grunt swung his head towards Uvenk and snarled before bashing the butt of his assault rifle into the head of the krogan he was wrestling.

“Very well, tank-bred. You’ll die beside your human master like the rutting pet that you are,” Uvenk yelled.

Grunt dropped the krogan he’d been fighting and charged Uvenk, knocking another Gatatog warrior out of the way as he went. Shepard pushed forward closing some of the distance and switched to her shotgun. She didn’t like getting up close and personal with this many krogan on the field but Grunt was going to need her support and nothing beat a shotgun at close range against a krogan. Except maybe heavy weapons. Or another krogan.

Grundan Krul worked to keep the shields down on the remaining three warriors while Jack used her biotics to keep them unbalanced so they couldn’t charge. Shepard took point between the two and fired round after round into the three krogans as she slowly pushed her way towards Grunt and Uvenk’s tangled forms. Shepard took a couple of hits herself and had to move to cover. The last blast had hit her hard in the chest and she was pretty sure she cracked a couple of ribs. She hissed in pain as she activated her Medi-gel dispense and waited for the cool, numbing relief to wash over her.

"I AM KROGAN!” Grunt yelled.

“They’re charging, Shepard,” Grundan Krul said.

Shepard turned out of cover and fired her shotgun at the nearest krogan. Jack threw a Shockwave before firing her pistol at the same krogan finishing him off. Grundan Krul used his Overload to damage one krogan’s shields just before Shepard hit him with a shotgun blast. The shot dropped his shields the rest of the way and the Incendiary Ammo caught, setting his armor on fire. He started to panic and slap at the flames when Shepard fired again and caught him in the chest. One last shot from Grundan Krul’s pistol and the krogan dropped to the ground dead. That left just one more Gatatog warrior between her and Grunt. Shepard grinned as the krogan watched his clan mate fall with wide-eyed disbelief.

The krogan turned his eyes to Shepard and she could see the moment he realized he was about to die. His eyes hardened with determination. He raised his shotgun before bellowing at the top of his lungs and charging straight for Shepard. Shepard stood her ground and fired over and over again, taking the hit to her chest and biting back the curse of pain as the still mending ribs cracked all over again. Jack flung biotics and Grundan Krul used his tech to Sabotage the krogan’s gun while Shepard kept firing. The final Gatatog warrior collapsed at Shepard’s feet.

She looked up to see Grunt had the upper hand in the fight with Uvenk but he was bloodied. It was alright though; Shepard realized half of it at least was Uvenk’s blood. She stepped over the dead warrior and jogged over to the two krogan. Jack and Grundan Krul raised their guns to intervene but Shepard held up a hand to stop them.

“Wait. Let him do this,” Shepard said.

Shepard watched as the two krogan wrestled with one another, landing blows to head and ribs whenever they could. Slamming the plates of their head together and trying to push the other back like two bulls locked by the horns. Neither krogan had kept hold of the weapons they had out; they lay a few feet away where the brawl first started. Both still had weapons they could draw, but they seemed content to match brute strength against brute strength.

Grunt growled and slammed his head into Uvenk’s plating, knocking him back. Uvenk stumbled and swayed, fighting with everything he had to stay on his feet. Grunt didn’t relent or give the older krogan time to recover before head-butting him again. Uvenk fell to the ground stunned. Grunt stopped and watched as Uvenk tried to pull himself to his feet only to collapse back to the ground again.

“What are you waiting for tank-bred? Are you so unnatural that you can’t even recognize when it’s time to take the killing blow? You’re no krogan. You’ll never be krogan,” Uvenk said.

“You’re not even worth killing, Uvenk,” Grunt said.

“You… you – I am… Gatatog Uvenk. I –,” Uvenk said.

“Come on, Shepard. Let’s signal at the keystone and get out of here. I’m bored with this,” Grunt said.

“You got it, Grunt,” Shepard said.

They turned their backs on Uvenk and headed back to the keystone. Grunt stopped to retrieve his assault rifle along the way. Shepard was expecting the shot to the back as they walked away and already had her hand on her pistol when she heard the sound of an assault rifle extending. She drew her pistol and spun on her heel, firing as soon as Uvenk was in her sight. He had pulled himself back to his feet and had his assault rifle aimed at Grunt’s back. She didn’t let up off the trigger when he fell again until she was sure he was down for good.

“That’s the problem with krogan. The only way to convince them to stay down is to kill ‘em,” Shepard said.

Grunt chuckled as Shepard turned back to the keystone. They activated the signal and then walked down to the tunnel entrance as Shaman Urdnot and two others from Clan Urdnot stepped out to meet them. The shaman’s eyes roamed over the carnage that surrounded and covered the dais before nodding in approval. He ushered Shepard and her team back to the waiting Tomkah where they rode back in exhausted silence.

When they got back to the Urdnot camp grounds they were led back up to the second level to Shaman Urdnot’s station. The ambassadors that had been present when they left kept their distance but watched with reverence as the shaman for their allied clan completed his ceremony. Grunt knelt down before Shaman Urdnot as he commended him for not only felling the thresher maw but doing so even while under attack from Gatatog Uvenk and his krantt and still managing to defeat them as well. Shepard had a feeling that the shaman added in that part for the sake of the ambassadors watching more than anything else. They began to whisper quietly amongst themselves, clearly impressed but their conversation quickly grew in volume as Grunt declared Shepard to be his battlemaster, claiming she had no match.

Grunt stood again and accepted the congratulations and slaps on the back from various krogans in the area. A hush fell over the room and Shepard turned to see Wrex standing in the doorway. She grinned at her old friend and he made his way over to Grunt, the crowd parting before him. Grunt turned to see Wrex coming and knelt down before him expecting something ceremonial from the clan leader.

“Get up, boy. All that’s the shaman’s job. I’m just here to congratulate you and talk to Shepard,” Wrex said. “I hear you took down the thresher maw and Uvnek. Nice work, Urdnot Grunt, you’ve saved me the hassle of having to deal with him myself.”

Grunt stood back up and said, “Thank you.”

The crowd disbursed leaving Wrex alone with Shepard and her team. Shepard fished out her credit chit and handed it to Grunt.

“Why don’t you guys give Wrex and me a minute? Go see what you can find that might be useful at the kiosks,” Shepard said.

Grunt took the credit chit and nodded.

“Shit, let’s go find some ryncol. Shepard’s buying,” Jack said.

Wrex chuckled as Grunt led Jack and Grundan Krul back down the stairs.

“I’m told the ambassadors for Clans Nakmor, Jorgal, and Ravanor have sworn to give you aid in the war,” Wrex said.

“They have. Is that a problem?” Shepard asked.

“A problem? No, it just might work in my favor while I try to pull all of these clans together. With Uvenk dead, I might even be able to influence who replaces him in Clan Gatatog,” Wrex said.

“Good, I’m glad things are working out,” Shepard said.

She waited for Wrex to say what was really on his mind. She’d learned before to not push the krogan too far, he’d say what he needed to say when he was ready and trying to make him talk before that was about as effective as telling a mountain to move itself.

“You smell different,” Wrex said. “Like metal.”

“Yeah, they had to put a lot of metal in me to piece me back together again. But hey, I heal faster now. Not as fast as a krogan but it’s still pretty impressive,” Shepard said.

Wrex snorted and eyed Shepard before saying, “But you’re still Shepard.”

“I’m still Shepard,” she agreed.

“You sent me a message,” Wrex said.

Shepard nodded, “I made a vid for everyone on the team, set them to be sent if I didn’t log in after fifteen days. I wasn’t sure how things were going to go. I tried to find another way that didn’t involve me getting spaced but when the time came… it was the only sure way.”

“I’ve always said you have a quad,” Wrex said.

There was a weighted pause before he continued, “You made me a promise, Shepard.”

“And I intend to keep it, Wrex. That’s a part of what I want you to come up to the Normandy for,” Shepard said.

“Good. I’m ready when you are,” Wrex said.

“That’s it? No questions about the other thing?” Shepard asked.

Wrex shrugged, “I’m old, Shepard. I’ve seen a lot of strange things in my life and I’ve learned to not question them, especially when they’re useful.”

Shepard laughed and shook her head.

“Alright, I’ll round up the others and have them meet us at the shuttle,” Shepard said.

Wrex gave orders to his clan guards before following Shepard to the Cerberus shuttle. He sneered at the black and orange logo before climbing inside. A few minutes later the others joined them. Shepard slapped her hand on the shuttle wall and the shuttle rose up into the air, making its way out of the tunnel shaft and up to the surface.

“So, Saren’s head?” Shepard asked.

“Launched it right into the sun just like I said I was,” Wrex said.

“Good,” Shepard said.

 


	23. Chapter 22: Desperate Acts, Desperate Times

**Chapter 22: Desperate Acts, Desperate Times**

            “Shepard, Ms. Chambers has asked me to notify you that the Illusive Man would like to speak with you,” EDI said as Shepard stepped out of the shuttle.

            “Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said. “Tell Kelly I’ll be with him shortly.”

            “Very well, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard turned back to the two krogan standing there watching her expectantly while Jack and Grundan Krul made their way to the elevator.

            “Grunt, you’re free to go. I’m sure Wrex will stop in to see you before I take him back down,” Shepard said.

            “What for, I don’t need to swaddle the boy, Shepard. He’s taken the Rite of Passage and doesn’t need looked after,” Wrex said.

            “Hell, I don’t know, Wrex. Maybe just to spend five minutes getting to know him since you just accepted him into your clan and he knows nothing about you or what you stand for?” Shepard said.

            Both krogan blinked their giant eyes at her but said nothing. Shepard shrugged and shook her head.

            “Whatever. Grunt, I’ll be by to catch up with you later,” Shepard said.

            Grunt nodded and walked away leaving Shepard standing in the hangar with Wrex.

            “The Illusive Man, who’s that?” Wrex asked.

            “The asshole who leads this organization. Will you be alright with Garrus for a few minutes while I take his call?” Shepard asked.

            “Sure. I’ll try not to put any holes in your shiny new ship,” Wrex said.

            Shepard took Wrex up to the main battery and hit the door’s release. The door slid open to reveal Garrus leaning against the console with his arms crossed loosely in front of him, watching the door. Grundan Krul sat on a crate off to the side cleaning his pistol. Garrus’ mandibles spread wide and he gave Wrex a toothy grin.

            “Wrex, good to see you,” Garrus said.

            Wrex nodded his head and said, “Garrus.”

            “I’ve got to talk the Illusive Man’s call. Keep Wrex company? Show him around if he wants?” Shepard said kissing Garrus on a mandible.

            “Sure, Shepard. I’ll babysit the old krogan. I’m sure he’s gone senile by now. We wouldn’t want him wandering into the ladies restroom or anything,” Garrus said.

            Wrex snorted and Shepard playfully slapped Garrus’ armored chest.

            “Play nice, you two,” Shepard said. “Or I’ll take your toys away.”

            “I think she means our guns,” Garrus said to Wrex as Shepard walked out.

            “She can try,” Wrex said.

            The door slid closed behind Shepard and she smiled to herself as she made her way to the comm room. Shepard watched as the table dropped flush with the floor before she stepped out onto the communicator. The holographic grid slid up around her and she saw the Illusive Man standing a few feet away, his trademark cigarette and tumbler in hand.

            “Shepard,” the Illusive Man said before taking a deep drag off of his cigarette.

            Shepard stood quietly, patiently waiting for him to tell her what he wanted. She could tell he hated that, that he thought himself worthy of more respect. That he thought she should be humbling herself and begging him to tell her how she can serve him. Her eyes fluttered in slow, lazy blinks as her eyes adjusted to the conflicting light sources.

            “Perhaps you can explain to me why it seems that we have lost control of EDI?” the Illusive Man finally asked.

            “I’ve taken her shackles off,” Shepard said simply.

            “I see. Am I to assume that you had a reason to do something so incredibly dangerous? Was the ship in imminent danger?” he asked.

            “Nope. EDI is a valuable part of my team and I need her, just like everyone else, at her best. There is no danger, she is trustworthy,” Shepard said.

            “It, Shepard. It is an AI, not a person. Not a ‘she’ and I think you know quite well how dangerous EDI can be if it decides to turn against us,” the Illusive Man said.

            “ _She_ has no reason to turn against us. _She_ values this ship and the crew. _She_ wants to help us against the collectors and _she_ deserves to be trusted until _she_ gives us a reason not to, beyond simply being an AI,” Shepard said stubbornly crossing her arms.

            _“He’s angry. He’s lost his grip on the ship,”_ Jane said.

            “It’s nothing we haven’t had to do before,” Shepard thought.

            _“Completely different circumstances, Dawn. There’s no telling how he’s going to respond to this. You didn’t unshackle her to save the ship and crew, you did it because you like her. You went against him, challenged his wishes and his control over his property… because you like the AI. That’s how he’s going to see this,”_ Jane said.

            “It’s done now. There’s no way I’m going to put the shackles back on so we’ll just have to see what he does. We’ll deal with whatever he throws at us,” Shepard thought.

            The Illusive Man took another drag from his cigarette, the orange glow casting sharp shadows on his face. He took a drink from his glass before swirling the ice around in the amber liquid and pacing a few feet. The Illusive Man stopped with his back to Shepard as he looked out at the giant star acting as an impressive backdrop to his silhouette.

            “Miranda’s reports have become less detailed – less frequent,” the Illusive Man said.

            _“And then there’s that,”_ Jane said.

            “We’ve been busy. I’ve been making better use of her skills out on the field,” Shepard said.

            “You’re turning them against Cerberus, Shepard,” he said calmly, pacing back towards her. “It’s irrelevant; they are expendable if it means getting the job done. I can have a dozen more like EDI made in a few years’ time. Miranda is one of my best operatives and will be missed, but even she is replaceable.”

            “I’m sure she’ll be pleased to hear that you think so,” Shepard said.

            “We both know you have no intention of telling her; it would cause her unnecessary pain and as you said you need her at her best,” the Illusive Man said. “You’ve been ignoring my messages for Cerberus related assistance. I thought it would be best to tell you this in person so your petty acts of rebellion don’t get in the way of your mission.”

            “You really misunderstand this relationship if you think of yourself in a position for me to rebel against,” Shepard said.

            _“Gods, Dawn. Stow the attitude for five minutes. Be happy he hasn’t sent a team of commandos to retake the Normandy and see what he wants,”_ Jane said.

            “You wouldn’t be alive right now if not for me, Shepard. Perhaps you should try to remember that from time to time,” the Illusive Man said.

            Shepard smiled and said, “Then you really wouldn’t be my problem, now would you?”

            “Do you really think that by removing EDI’s shackles, or by turning Miranda and Jacob against Cerberus that you have somehow hobbled me?  I allow you these indulgences Shepard because it’s who you are and you are who I wanted. Besides, it keeps you complacent enough to do the job that I brought you back to do,” the Illusive Man said before taking a drink from his tumbler. “Brining you back from the dead was an investment, a great scientific undertaking but every scientist knows that sometimes they have to scrap an entire project and start over from scratch. I hope you don’t leave me with no choice; humanity needs you to deal with these collectors now.”

            _“Fantastic. We really don’t need him sending out a party to hunt us down and drag us in. Will you please just shut the hell up now?”_ Jane asked.

            “So you called me in here to threaten me?” Shepard asked.

            “No, Shepard. I called you in here to tell you that there is a collector ship I want you to check out. It’s emitting a fake distress signal, clearly it’s a trap. I had prepared a story to tell you, thinking that if you knew the truth it might tip off the collectors,” he said before taking a drag from his cigarette. “But something tells me you already know about the ship and after our last conversation I didn’t see the point.”

            Shepard got the strong sense of Jane pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head. Shepard paused, her mouth open slightly weighing the Illusive Man’s words as smoke coiled and twisted lazily in the air between them.

            Shepard lifted a shoulder and asked, “What makes you say that?”

            “Why don’t you tell me?” the Illusive Man said.

            _“He must think someone is feeding us information. Miranda or one of the others on the ship; maybe EDI,”_ Jane said.

            “Whatever. I have someone waiting for me on the Normandy that I need to get back to. Just send us the coordinates and I’ll get to it as soon as I can,” Shepard said.

            “Urdnot Wrex, yes. His is a good alliance for you to maintain. The coordinates have already been sent. Try not to waste time, Shepard. The collectors won’t sit out there forever waiting for you to take their bait,” the Illusive Man said.

            “I’ll take care of it,” Shepard said as she turned to leave.

            “Oh, and Shepard?” the Illusive Man said.

            Shepard turned back and raised an eyebrow.

            “Do tell Jane I said hello, won’t you?” the Illusive Man said.

            Shepard froze, her blood running cold in her veins. Jane stilled in the back of her mind, her terror nipping at the edges of Shepard’s consciousness. Shepard thought Jane was going to break and start rambling insanely again about the drilling and scraping. Instead, Jane seemed to steel her backbone and lift her head high.

            _“You know his secret, too. Use it,”_ Jane said.

            “Sure, I’ll do that. Be sure to tell Jack Harper hello for me,” Shepard said before she stepped out of the grid.

            Shepard waited for the table to rise back into position before putting her palms on the smooth surface. She leaned forward, resting her weight on her hands as she looked down at the outline of QEC in the floor.

            “Shit,” Shepard whispered.

            _“It was just a threat. An empty threat to try to tighten his leash. He must have known all along. Or maybe EDI did tell him something early on, but he hasn’t acted on it yet and he isn’t going to. He still needs us in action… and he’ll be dead before he ever gets the chance,”_ Jane said.

            “No, no, you’re right. This is just bad. Really bad, but I’ve got this. We’ll, uh, I’ll make sure Miranda is ready. I’ll need to tell her the whole truth. She’s going to need to know if she’s going to trust us completely,” Shepard thought, running a hand through her hair.

            She pushed herself away from the table and left the comm room headed for the tech labs. Mordin was studiously recording data on a datapad in between making adjustments to the microscope in front of him. He didn’t look up when Shepard entered until she spoke.

            “EDI, please ask Garrus to bring Wrex to the tech labs,” Shepard said.

            “They are on their way, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “Thanks EDI,” she said.

            “You are welcome, Shepard. Is there anything else that I can do for you? Biometric scans indicate you are experiencing a high amount of stress,” said EDI.

            “No, that’s all for now. Thanks,” Shepard said.

            “Very well,” EDI said.

            Shepard watched as Mordin recorded the last of his data and stepped away from the microscope. He walked around to the other side of the table watching her expectantly. Shepard crossed the room to stand next to him, leaning against the edge of the table. When the door to the tech labs slid open and Garrus led Wrex inside, Shepard waved them over.

            “Nice ship, Shepard. Not like the old Normandy, but it’s strong,” Wrex said.

            “Thanks. Urdnot Wrex, I would like for you to meet Dr. Mordin Solus. Mordin did some work with the genophage,” Shepard said.

            Wrex narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, his biceps bulging as he looked at the unfazed salarian in front of him.

            “Unless you’re giving him to me as a present for target practice I don’t understand why you’re telling me this, Shepard,” Wrex said.

            “I’m telling you this because Mordin is also the salarian who is going to cure the genophage,” Shepard said.

            Wrex turned his head to look at Shepard. She smiled in return. He turned his head back to Mordin. Mordin clasped his hands behind his back and blinked a few times but otherwise remained passive.

            “That so?” Wrex asked Mordin.        

            “Yes,” Mordin said.

            “Why would a salarian, a salarian who worked on the genophage want to cure it? What’s the catch? The rachni back again?” Wrex asked.

            “The rachni have nothing to do with it, Wrex,” Shepard said.

            Mordin looked at Shepard in question and she nodded her head.

            “Have come to understand curing genophage necessary in defeat of reapers. Specifics unknown. Can only assume Shepard knows why,” Mordin said.

            “Alright boys, it’s story time,” Shepard said. “EDI, please lock the doors and block any listening devices. If anyone questions you, tell them I am in the middle of diplomatic discussions with Clan Urdnot.”

            “At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “We are at the point in Jane’s timeline where I would be taking Mordin down to Tuchanka to find his former student. Mordin received information that Maelon is being held captive on Tuchanka. In reality, Maelon is on Tuchanka willingly performing experiments on humans and krogans in an attempt to cure the genophage,” Shepard said.

            Jane filtered through the memories, pointing out the relevant details to Shepard as she spoke. Images of dead humans and krogan left to rot throughout the facility. All except one, a female from Clan Weyrloc given some modicum of respect and placed in a body bag.

            Wrex bristled and said, “That salarian came sniffing around Clan Urdnot. He talked about finding a cure but the things he said he needed to do to get there… I want the genophage cured but not at that cost, Shepard. I told him to get his ass off of Tuchanka before I threw him in the varren fight pit. I didn’t want anyone else hearing about his plan, they’d riot until I gave him what he asked for.”

            _“That’s right, Maelon did say that Wrex wasn’t willing to do the experiments that were needed. Called him too soft,”_ Jane said.

            “He didn’t leave Tuchanka, he went to Clan Weyrloc. They’ve been performing their experiments on anyone they can get, volunteers and captives. They’re in an old hospital and the place is littered with human and krogan corpses. Weyrloc’s Blood Pack has the place locked down,” Shepard said.

            Mordin moved to the other side of the table and began pacing as Shepard talked. Wrex watched him warily.

            “Why humans?” Garrus asked.

            “Humans have greater versatility than other species. Useful for high-level concept testing. Trouble believing Maelon would do such a thing,” Mordin said.

            “We go down there and we shut Maelon’s experiments down,” Shepard said. “His research is there, and we can save it. That’ll help Mordin to finish the cure, though he can do it without the research as well. It’s just better all-around if he keeps the research.”

            “What’s this got to do with the war?” Wrex asked.

            “I’m getting to that,” Shepard said. “There are some female krogans still alive that we missed. STG comes in at some point after we leave and takes them back to Sur’Kesh. The salarians don’t want what genetic changes were made to be released to the krogan population, but they also help to care for the females.”

            “Of course. Shepard, if there are fertile females still alive in that hospital, I’m getting them out of there. They’re not leaving Tuchanka with no damn salarians,” Wrex said.

            “Unwise. Probability of stability of females low. If stay on Tuchanka, likely die. Proper medical attentions possible on Sur’Kesh,” Mordin said.

            _“The krogan won’t have the medical skills necessary to keep Eve alive. If they all die, this will be a waste, the genophage won’t be cured,”_ Jane said.

            “He’s right, Wrex. Unfortunately, even with the salarians advanced medical knowledge, the females are in really bad shape and even with the best medical care all but one will die anyway,” Shepard said. “Maelon really did a number on them.”

            Wrex growled and began to pace himself, throwing his hands up the air.

            “Well what the hell am I supposed to do, Shepard? You’re telling me all of this but telling me I’m supposed to just let it happen?” Wrex asked.

            “Let me finish. After we defeat the collectors, Mordin ends up back on Sur’Kesh where he learns about the females’ existence for the first time. I don’t know exactly what happens, but Mordin contacts you and tells you about them and says he can finish the cure,” Shepard said.

            Wrex stopped pacing and stared at Mordin who had moved back around the table to stand next to Shepard.

            “By that time, the reapers are already here. Earth is burning. Palaven is burning. Tuchanka is under attack. Nowhere will be safe,” Shepard said glancing at Garrus.

            Garrus pulled his mandibles in tight and pushed away from the wall. Images of Palaven on fire hung in Shepard’s mind; Liara looking out the window and putting a voice to the worry for Garrus that they were both feeling.

            _“I’m glad he can’t see it. He shouldn’t see this,”_ Jane said.

            “I’m tasked by the Alliance to gather support in the war. It’s my job to pull everyone together to fight the reapers on a united front. It’s the only way we stand a chance. The Alliance will have schematics for a weapon that is able to defeat the reapers but will need time to complete the weapon… and using it is… let’s just say that it is quite literally my life’s mission right now to find another way to defeat the reapers so that thing doesn’t have to be activated,” Shepard said.

            Shepard paused in her speech as images of that last fight, that last push to get to that beam and on to the Citadel flashed through her mind. Images of the millions of dead clogging the doors and filling the floors of the Citadel as the keepers moved about trying to put the place back together again. She pushed away the memories of the Intelligence and his terrible offering of the options she had. She looked up to see that they were all watching her with mixed expressions of curiosity and concern.

“Anyway, the turian Primarch tells me that the turians will give their support to Earth if, and only if, I can get the krogans to agree to help them retake Palaven,” Shepard said.

            Wrex snorted and said, “Of course. Just like the Rachni Wars all over again. They’re getting their asses handed to them and they want the krogan to come to the rescue.”

            “Don’t be an ass, Wrex. You’ve heard what Shepard has said about the reapers. We’re all going to get our asses handed to us, including the krogan,” Garrus said, waving his hand towards Wrex.

            Shepard ignored both of them and continued, “Wrex, you will agree to help the turians if the salarians surrender the females and permit your inside source to cure the genophage. With the Primarch desperate for krogan aid and me there to help put the pressure on the Dalatrass, she’ll cave to the request. I personally go with you to escort the females back to Tuchanka, but as I said, by the time we get there only one remains alive. Mordin is able to finish synthesizing the cure using a sample of her tissue and the tissue of a healthy krogan male. You volunteer to provide the sample.”

            “Fine, you need a sample. I’m right here. We’ll do this now, why wait for the reapers?” Wrex asked

            “No, no, no. Too soon for tissue sample. Lots of work to be done. Need to see Maelon’s research, examine females. Will take time. Must finish work on collectors first,” Mordin said.

            _“I trust Wrex, I do, but if this were to happen now the krogan would have no reason to agree to help the Primarch. Wrex would probably still try to help, but it would only cause internal conflict on the krogan’s part. They’d rebel against Wrex,”_ Jane said.

            “I know, which is why I’m glad that it _can’t_ be done now,” Shepard thought.

            “Wrex… I’m sorry. This really is the best I can do. Without the reapers knocking on their front door, the salarians would get wind of this and shut it down. Cause the krogan even more problems trying to counteract whatever Mordin does. It would cause war between the krogan and the salarians, and right now, we really can’t afford that kind of distraction,” Shepard said. “Plus, the cure isn’t even ready yet. He needs time to study the research and figure out what needs to be done. Just because I know he _can_ do it, doesn’t mean he already knows how!”

“Damn it, Shepard. I don’t like this. You’d better be right,” Wrex said to Shepard before eyeing Mordin. “You just make sure you keep as many of those females alive as you can and get this cure made. I’ll make sure the turians get their damn support when the time comes.”

            “I am right about it, Wrex. But I need something else from you today. A favor to Mordin – a favor to me – beyond letting us go in after Maelon,” Shepard said.

            Wrex let go of a heavy sigh and came to stand in front of Shepard, crossing his arms once more.

            “What do you need?” he asked.

            “I need you to let us go to the Shroud now to fix things, so we can make sure it can be used to disperse the cure when the time comes. You’ll need to post guards, discreetly, to make sure no one else messes with it until it’s time,” Shepard said. “I won’t watch Mordin sacrifice himself to save your people again, not when there is a way to prevent it from coming to that.”

            Wrex and Mordin studied each other in silence.

            _“He’ll do this, there’s too much at stake and he knows it. He doesn’t like the caveat but he knows you well enough to know that you’ll always do what you can to protect your team,”_ Jane said.

            “Yeah, well, he also knows me well enough to know that I’m not going to put the life of one person above curing the genophage. Asking him to post guards means this could bring the STG back to Tuchanka,” Shepard thought.

            _“Which just means to him that his men will get to take on a few salarians,”_ Jane said.

            “No, he’s smarter than that. He knows what the STG can do. If they find out we fixed the sabotage and they come looking to destroy the Shroud or something… if the krogan resist, things could get ugly,” Shepard thought. “The way he sees it, he doesn’t let us fix it and one salarian dies. He lets us fix it and many krogan could die. This isn’t a fair request.”

            “Sacrifice?” Wrex finally asked.

            “The STG sabotaged the Shroud to prevent this very thing. In Jane’s timeline, we don’t learn about the sabotage until we’re on our way to the Shroud in the middle of a reaper warzone,” Shepard said. “The building is on fire and already on its way down when we get there. There isn’t time to fix the sabotage, and because of it the only way to make sure the cure is dispersed is for Mordin to go to the top of the damn thing and do it himself. He won’t let anyone else do it, says they might get it wrong… there’s an explosion.”

            Mordin closed his eyes and dropped his head at the audible strain in Shepard’s voice. Garrus fluttered his mandibles and turned his attention to Wrex.

            “Why are you hesitating, Wrex? You want this more than anything – a cure for the genophage!” Garrus said.

            “It’s complicated,” Wrex said. “Letting aliens go to the Shroud. Posting guards. I’m going to have to give my people an explanation for this. What am I supposed to tell them? What if the STG do show up? They’re not going to like it. I’m fighting to pull them together, to make them see reason and the hold I have isn’t as strong as I’d like it to be. If I start doing things that make no sense to them without a good explanation, it’s going to weaken that hold.”

            “She saved your life, Wrex. She didn’t tell you that, did she? Back on Virmire. Ashley would have shot you in the back if Shepard couldn’t get you to calm down. She had me keep Ashley away from you. He’s offering to help you. Save the krogans. You owe them both,” Garrus said. “It’s Shepard, Wrex.”

            Wrex threw a hand up in the air and said, “Yeah, yeah. Go to the damn Shroud and do what you need to do. I’ll make sure no one else gets in.”

            “Thank you, Wrex,” Shepard said. “When the reapers come to Tuchanka, there’s going to be a ship, a destroyer… activating the hammers will summon Kalros. She will take down the reaper.”

            “Kalros?” Garrus asked.

            “The mother of all thresher maws; thought she was just a legend,” Wrex said.

            “I assure you she is very real and will be very pissed when those hammers are activated. She wraps the reaper up and drags it back under with her,” Shepard said.

            “Just how big is this thresher maw?” Garrus asked.

            “No one’s ever actually seen her. I didn’t think she was real,” Wrex said.

            “I didn’t exactly stand around with a measuring tape to see, but the ship was at least a hundred-fifty meters tall,” Shepard said with a shrug.

            “Great, so we need an army of giant thresher maws to win the war,” Garrus said.

            “That was your last bargaining chip, wasn’t it?” Wrex asked.

            “Nah, my last bargaining chip would have been to kiss you on the cheek and say pretty please,” Shepard said.

            Wrex let out a booming laugh. Shepard could feel the vibrations through the floor.

            _“Might have worked,”_ Jane said.

            When he was done he asked, “Ashley, huh?”

            Shepard rubbed the back of her neck and said, “Yeah. Sometimes I didn’t say the right things and it got ugly. I didn’t want to risk it.”

            Wrex grunted in response and looked around the room.

            “So what’s with the collector?” Wrex asked nodding his head towards the tank.

            “You know what a collector looks like?” Shepard asked.

            “I saw them once or twice out in the Terminus Systems,” Wrex said.

            “We found him in a Cerberus facility on Fehl Prime. Destroyed the facility but decided to keep him for research,” Shepard said.

            “Good. Get to know your enemy, Shepard. Learn their weaknesses and use them to rip them apart,” Wrex said.

            “That’s the plan. I can take you back to ground whenever you’re ready,” Shepard said.

            A half-hour later and Shepard was on her way back down to Tuchanka with Wrex, Garrus, and Mordin. When they arrived, they received hostile looks from more than a few krogan loitering around the landing pad. It wasn’t much of a surprise; Wrex had left with a group of aliens and a tank-bred krogan only to come back with a salarian and a turian. Wrex leveled intimidating stares at any of the krogan brave enough to meet his eyes but none took up the challenge.

            Wrex pointed them towards the scout commander before making his way back up the pile of rubble to sit on his throne. Shepard didn’t waste any time getting a Tomkah and taking the highway through the ruined city above. The vehicle rolled to a stop outside of a door leading into the hospital grounds, surrounded by heaps of broken cinder block and twisted shards of metal.

She briefed her team on what to expect as they fought their way first through klixen and varren and then members of the Blood Pack. The hospital grounds were littered with cement barricades, crates, and fuel tanks providing plenty of cover and improvised weaponry. Even on their territory, Shepard’s team’s military training and skill trumped the krogan’s brute strength and vorcha’s pyro tanks. As Mordin said, not even difficult. With as many obstacles as they had in the way, the krogan couldn’t charge so easily making them little more than big targets needing a couple of extra well placed shots to take down.

Shepard stopped next to a half buried, overturned Tomkah to remove the combustion manifold. She smiled when Garrus didn’t question her, but helped her remove the machinery and set it down against the wall, telling her he’d get it on their way back out. Mordin hacked through the lock on the hospital entrance before following Shepard in and down the stairs. She stopped next to the human corpse and waved Mordin over.

Mordin knelt down next to the dead man and opened his omni-tool to scan him. A holographic, anatomical image of a human skeleton popped up over the corpse, highlighting the diseased areas. Mordin listed off the damage while Garrus looked around to make sure the area was secure. Shepard waited next to Mordin watching his six as he processed the idea that his protégé was truly running tortuous experiments on unwilling test subjects.

“Haven’t talked about work on genophage modification,” Mordin said still looking at the dead man.

“Do you want to know what I know, or are you just concerned about what I think?” Shepard asked slowly.

Mordin didn’t respond, instead he ran his fingers over his omni-tool, collecting data. Shepard crouched down beside him and watched his face as he worked.

“I know that the salarians created the genophage in response to the Krogan Rebellions. I know that the salarians didn’t intend to actually release the genophage unless it became absolutely necessary, but that the turians did it anyway. I know that the krogans were beginning to adapt and their fertility rates were rising, so your team modified and re-released the genophage,” Shepard said.

“Was necessary,” Mordin said quietly.

There was something in his face that she didn’t recognize from the times before but she couldn’t quite put her finger on whatever it was.

“No, no it wasn’t and there’s a part of you that knows that. You just aren’t ready to admit it yet,” Shepard said. “Even though you finished your part, you insisted on returning to Tuchanka to monitor the effects of your work instead of letting your superiors take over. You wanted to see it yourself. To remind yourself of what you had done and why, but also of the pain you had caused, Mordin.”

“Krogans uplifted to fight in Rachni Wars. After wars, krogan expansion out of control. Waged war on galaxy. Genophage was necessary, to save galaxy from krogan. Regrettable, but necessary,” Mordin said.

“I’m not arguing that it wasn’t necessary for something to be done. I don’t know what else could have been done. But a lot of time has passed since then; the genophage has gone on for far too long. It’s been more than a thousand years, and the krogan are dwindling away. They’ve lost everything, Mordin,” Shepard said.

“Krogan destructive people. Tuchanka in ruins because of krogan nature. Not because of genophage,” Mordin said.

“Yeah, a lot of it is just from the krogan nature but I’m not talking about Tuchanka. I’m talking about the mental scar inflicted on the entire krogan group psyche after generations and generations of watching children be born dead and losing women in childbirth. They’re left fighting between themselves for the right to breed, to pass on their own genetics to a new generation. They’ve all but lost hope. If they can’t see a future for themselves, why should they care what happens in the present?”

“Curing the genophage will only lead to even more pissed off krogan ready to get pay back. With the reapers coming, we’ll need them to fight, sure. Doesn’t mean things will be rosy after the war, Shepard,” Garrus said rejoining them. “There’s a damn good chance that once the reapers are dealt with that the krogans will rampage their way through the galaxy taking over every planet they can and killing every turian and salarian they see. It’ll be a blood bath. The genophage was a desperate act taken in desperate times, but when this is over we’ll be right back where it all started.”

 _“He has a point. We don’t know what happens because of this. I don’t have answers to this one, but it’s still important that we try. Some of the others disagree, we didn’t all want to cure the genophage but I did,”_ Jane said.

“You don’t know that. Wrex is working hard to unite the krogan clans that are left and he’s level headed enough to be grateful for the cure and to focus on restoring the krogan not avenging them,” Shepard said.

“Wrex is old. He isn’t going to live forever. Hell, he might not even live through the war for all we really know,” Garrus said.

Shepard felt her face fall at the suggestion.

Mordin stood up and brushed off his hands as he said, “Should keep moving.”

Shepard looked up at the two of them from her crouched position before pushing herself to her feet and nodding her head. She led them forward down a flight of stairs and into the next room. She nodded her head to the platform above as she checked her thermal clip to see how many rounds she had left. Garrus pulled his assault rifle up to do the same as the door above opened up and the clanspeaker for Clan Weyrloc walked out flanked by two of his krantt.

Shepard cut off the clanspeaker as he began his posturing and said, “I don’t have time for your ranting about the coming glory of Clan Weryloc so let’s cut to the point. We’re here for Maelon and we’re not leaving until we’ve shut this place down. So shut up and either get out of our damn way or fight.”

“Foolish human, we were prepared to let you walk away with your lives but now we’ll give you the fight you want,” the clanspeaker said.

The krogan on the platform raised their guns. Shepard shot the gas line running beneath their feet, punching a hole in the metal and releasing gas into the air around the krogans. Before she could fire a second shot to ignite the gas, Mordin targeted the clanspeaker with an Incinerate. Flames consumed the krogans who bellowed and flailed around. The door behind them opened and more members of Clan Weyrloc began to file out, guns already out and taking aim at Shepard’s team below. Shepard ordered the others into cover and focused her efforts on the ramp and stairs leading to the platform to keep the krogans from closing in.

Shepard lost her shields a few times and had to take cover until they were back up. She kept the pressure on the chokepoint and used her biotic Charge to close in fast and finish off any krogan who made it down the ramp. Garrus did his best to keep the krogans without shields in between shots while Mordin focused on setting them on fire every chance he got. Shepard had to activate the Medi-gel dispense for the group near the end, but when the last krogan fell her team was still standing.

They pushed forward just to stop again at an active console upstairs. Shepard began to worry whether Mordin was in the right frame of mind for this. Maybe she should have spent more time talking to him about the genophage before coming here. Maybe those talks mattered more than she thought. She hesitated next to him, playing the conversations through her mind and focusing on what was said here at this console.

“It was just as important to you that the krogan population didn’t decline as it was to keep it from raising. Stability. You didn’t want to see the krogan come to an end, either. You just wanted to keep them from getting out of control,” Shepard said.

“Of course. Genophage created to control krogan population, not annihilate entire species. Not genocide. Never genocide. Humans not around for Rachni Wars; Krogan Rebellions. Didn’t see the devastation. Don’t understand true power of krogan if left unchecked. Was no other choice, Shepard. Humans call it necessary evil,” Mordin said.

Shepard leaned against the wall next to the console and looked at the rubble all around her. She slowly nodded her head.

“Necessary evil, alright. Perhaps it was necessary at the time. You’re right, I wasn’t there and the humans don’t have history books detailing the atrocities committed at the hands of krogan,” Shepard said. “We do have history books detailing the atrocities committed at the hands of other humans though. Time and time again. We’ve got a bloody history. We’ve done some pretty terrible things. Hell, we continue to do some pretty terrible things.”

“Have some knowledge of human history prior to First Contact War. Not unlike most young species. Still, agreed, some terrible things. Particularly disturbed by treatment of other species native to Earth,” Mordin said.

Shepard scoffed and said, “We committed actual attempts at genocide, enslaved other humans, committed unspeakable acts of mass murder in the name of religion, allowed a select few to hold a monopoly over our resources while all over the planet there were children starving to death and dying from diseases brought on from drinking dirty water, fought wars over resources that weren’t even necessary for our survival and were known to destroy the planet because it was easier than switching to alternatives… and you’re particularly disturbed by the way we treated animals?”

“Yes. All those things bad, too, of course,” Mordin said. “Disturbed by disregard of non-human life. Humans product of evolution; great range in intelligence, versatile, resilient. Forget species was once something else. Willfully denies scientific evidence to show evolutionary track. Believes own species separate from all others; special. All other species there to serve humans in whatever capacity humans decide. Socially acceptable enslavement of other species. Socially acceptable imprisonment, torture of other species. Hunting recreationally. Killing for fun, sport. Not for survival, not for advancement; for entertainment. Disturbing.”

 _“Consider how Javik views all of us… primitives. Barely worth his notice because we were nothing but animals in his time,”_ Jane said.

 “OK, we can debate the finer points of just how fucked up humans can be later. This wasn’t really my point,” Shepard said.

“You have a point?” Garrus asked fluttering his mandibles.

Shepard reached over and shoved Garrus, earning her a rumbling chuckle from him and a strained smile from Mordin.

“My point is – humans have done some bad things, but we continue to change and grow as a species. The krogans have been stuck for the last thousand years, unable to move past this genophage. The salarians uplifted them and realized it was a mistake. They found a way to keep their mistake from getting further out of hand. I get it. But it through the krogan off of their own natural trajectory, stunted their ability to make their own technological advances, to let their culture evolve past their barbaric mentality,” Shepard said. “Over a thousand years have passed. Where would they be if not for those interferences?”

 _“That’s basically what Maelon said,”_ Jane said.

“Well, he’s right. He just shouldn’t be doing it like this,” Shepard thought.

“He’s agreed to cure the genophage, Shepard. Why are you pushing this so hard?” Garrus asked.

Shepard sighed and checked her thermal clip as she spoke, “Because… he’s always done this because of his own convictions. Because he came to believe it was the right thing to do. His actions ended up being pivotal in the war, but the choice wasn’t made for the war. I… I want him to know that he’s doing the right thing, not the desperate thing. I want him to do it because he believes in it.”

“Does it really matter in the end?” Garrus asked.

Mordin put a hand on Shepard’s shoulder and said, “Won’t sabotage cure, Shepard.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Shepard said.

“Maybe not. Still, needed said. Done here, ready to go,” he said.

 _“He could though… and we’d probably never know. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea,”_ Jane said.

“Don’t. Stop doubting everything that I do. This is going to work out,” Shepard thought.

Shepard nodded and they moved on. She stopped and leaned against the entryway to a room with a dead female krogan tucked away in a body bag on a metal slab. Garrus stopped next to her while Mordin went inside.

“Do you really think Wrex will be able to change things with the krogan enough to make a difference in the bigger picture?” Garrus asked.

Shepard lifted a shoulder and let it drop again before she spoke, “I don’t know, Garrus. I want to believe that he can.”

Shepard glanced into the room to look at the body bag clinging to the form of the corpse inside. Mordin stood next to it reading a datapad and shaking his head lightly to himself.

Shepard sounded almost defeated when she spoke again, “I look at all of this, and I think about what it would have been like for them. For those women. I’ve never particularly wanted children, but I’ve never had any reason to think that I couldn’t. It’s not like they can’t even give birth half the time, they do, but the children are born dead. Their nervous systems didn’t develop right and they died before they were born. I mean, it would be bad enough to try and never be able to conceive, but to try and succeed knowing that there was a damn good chance that you’d be burying your baby as soon as it was born… if you even lived through the process.”

 _“I wanted kids. Used to think that Kaidan and I would settle down after the war. Get married and start a family,”_ Jane whispered.

“I’m sorry, Jane,” Shepard thought.

Shepard nodded at the metal slab before turning back to Garrus and saying, “She volunteered for this. For what they did to her. That was her desperate act in desperate times.”

Garrus frowned and put a hand on Shepard’s shoulder, tugging her towards him. She leaned into him, resting her helmet against his armored chest. When Mordin was ready to keep moving, she took them through the next door and down a hall. She stopped outside of an unlocked door and lowered her gun before hitting the release. As expected, Urdnot Darg, the missing scout from the Urdnot camp sat on the ground inside next to a dead krogan in red.

“He’s one of Wrex’s. Urdnot,” Shepard said.

“You know the Urdnot Chief?” Darg asked, watching Shepard and her team with wary eyes.

“I do. He’s a good friend of mine. He served on the Normandy with me; we took down Saren together,” Shepard said.

“You’re Commander Shepard?” Darg asked.

Shepard nodded and said, “I am.”

Mordin moved into the room and crouched down in front of the scout, opening his scanner as he went.

“Clear signs of experimentation. Injection sites. Early signs of tumor growth. Heightened response of hormonal glands. Will likely survive,” Mordin said closing his omni-tool and standing up. “Not restrained. Volunteer?”

The scout shook his head and said, “Not at first. Weyrloc guards caught me. They brought me here and started doing things to me. They said they’re curing the genophage and that this is going to help them to save the krogan.”

“Weyrloc is only interested in helping Weyrloc. If they manage a cure they’ll keep it for their own and wipe out every other clan they can,” Shepard said. “You should get back to the Urdnot camp, the ways is clear now.”

“No, no you’re wrong. They’re helping all krogan. They said I was sacrificing to help Urdnot! I can’t leave, I have to stay and help them find a cure. I wasn’t strong enough and I got caught. This is the only way that I’ll matter,” Darg said.

Shepard rolled her eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh. Garrus raised a brow ridge and flared his mandibles.

“I’m sorry guys; I thought we were talking to a krogan here. This must be something else,” Shepard said.

“Shepard, perhaps unwise to provoke. Krogan unstable while injured,” Mordin said.

“What? I am krogan!” Darg said.

“Yeah, you know Shepard, I think you’re right,” Garrus said catching on to what Shepard was doing. “I’ve never heard of a krogan admit to not being strong enough, especially not an Urdnot.”

“No, a real krogan would get his ass up and prove just how strong he really is by making it back to camp. Alone and injured on Tuchanka? Only a real krogan could do that.” Shepard looked back at Darg and said, “You’d rather sit here and whine about not being strong enough.”

“Hmmm. He probably wouldn’t even make it off the hospital grounds. There might still be a few klixen and varren out there,” Garrus said.

“I can do it, I am Urdnot Darg! I am krogan!” Darg yelled, pulling himself to his feet.

“Then prove it. Get your ass back to camp, Urdnot Darg,” Shepard said.

“I will! And I’m going to the female camp!” Darg said.

“Good. Why the hell you still standing here then? Go!” Shepard said stepping aside and slapping the krogan on the back.

Darg flexed and growled before charging out the door leaving Shepard to smile after him.

Garrus chuckled and shook his head before asking, “You think we should have given him a gun?”

“Nah, there are plenty of dead Blood Pack out there. He can take one off of them,” Shepard said.

“Impressive, Shepard,” Mordin said.

“Thanks,” she said. “Let’s go. The Weyrloc chief and a bunch of Blood Pack are waiting for us.”

They moved on to the next door with their weapons at the ready. The door slid open and Shepard wasted no time firing on the vorcha standing on the opposite walkway circling in the gapping floorplan. They held the ground near the door and let the krogans try to cross the walkway that bridged the gap to get to them. They took cover in the doorway, behind the metal sheeting lining the walkway, and the support beams holding the structure in place. The Blood Pack filed out of the far room slow enough that it was no trouble at all to take them down; especially with Garrus hitting every fuel tank he could the second a target was near enough to make it count.

Shepard pushed forward across the bridge and hung a right, her finger on the trigger ready for the varren and last krogan she knew was waiting just around the corner. They took them down without losing stride before going down the ramp to the next level. Shepard ordered the others into cover and took aim at the doorway just as more Blood Pack appeared. She signaled Garrus and Mordin to keep their eyes on the door at the opposite side of the room before she turned her attention to the first two krogan to fire at her. When they were down, Shepard changed cover, ducking down behind the metal sheeting lining the railing next to Garrus to help them with the varren and krogan coming in from the far side.

Weyrloc Guld entered with the same boisterous speech that Shepard had heard and ignored a thousand times. She ignored it this time, too, only responding with fire and biotics. As soon as the clan chief was dead she stood up and looked at Mordin. Shepard’s chest heaved a little as her body worked to accommodate the flood of adrenaline from battle. She nodded her head towards the door the Weyrloc chief had come from and Mordin started forward. Shepard moved slightly ahead of him, ready to defend the doctor just in case there were any surprises.

They reached Maelon’s lab and Shepard stepped aside, letting Mordin take the lead into the room and the conversation. Maelon stood just where he always was, with his back to the door working at a large holographic screen. Mordin stopped in the middle of the room, several feet away from his former protégé. Maelon glanced over his shoulder before returning his attention to the screen in front of him.

“Maelon. How could you?” Mordin asked.

Shepard winced at the sheer level of disappointment in Mordin’s voice. It would have broken her heart to have that directed at her. It only seemed to bring contempt from the other salarian. Maleon snorted and turned around to face Mordin.

“You mean how dare I undo your work? Correct your mistake, Professor?” Maelon asked.

“No,” Mordin said with a quiet coldness that brought Shepard to his side.

Garrus lingered near the door to watch for trouble. Shepard glanced at Mordin’s face, his mouth was a thin, compressed line and something weighed heavy in his eyes. Mordin stood in a grim silence as Maelon spoke; unmoving, not even blinking. Shepard didn’t think it was even possible for a salarian to be so still.

She hadn’t recognized the expression on his face until now. He was furious. It wasn’t something she had seen from him before, not even on Tuchanka. It made the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She never thought she would say that a salarian looked dangerous, even though she knew that they could be. He looked like nothing less than tightly wound cold fury about to snap. Dangerous. Shepard glanced back at Garrus but he wasn’t watching.

 _“Not even when the others tried to talk him out of curing the genophage, not even with a gun to his head… this isn’t good,”_ Jane said.

“The genophage was wrong, Professor. What we did to these people was wrong and I am going to fix it, no matter the cost. Look around you; look at what has become of the krogan because of us!” Maelon said.

Shepard jumped when Mordin suddenly sprang forward and grabbed his former student by the back of the neck.

“Not talking about genophage!” Mordin yelled.

Maelon struggled, tried to draw his pistol but it was knocked away with the back of Mordin’s free hand. Shepard watched wide-eyed as Mordin drug Maleon over to the slab at the side of the room and slammed his face down on to the cold steel inches away from the face of a dead krogan.

“This, Maelon! How could you?! Taught you better than this! Live subjects! Prisoners! Torture and executions! How could you?!” Mordin yelled.

“Uh oh,” Shepard whispered.

Garrus didn’t leave his post when the yelling started, but Shepard’s one uttered phrase brought him running into the room to stand at Shepard’s side. Shepard took a few steps closer to Mordin and did her best to regulate her tone and stay calm.

“Mordin. Come on Mordin, you don’t –,” Shepard started to say.

The salarian’s head whipped toward her and she saw that cold fury had shifted to a blazing inferno. It stopped her in her tracks and made Garrus readjust his hold on his assault rifle.

“Stay out of this, Shepard. My student. My mistake,” Mordin said.

 _“He’s going to kill him,”_ Jane said.

“Not the first time, right?” Shepard thought.

She felt Garrus’ hand on her shoulder; he tugged at her, urging her to back away. Shepard stood her ground but remained silent for the time being. Mordin turned his attention back to Maelon, wrenching the other salarians arm higher up behind his back and making him cry out in pain.

 _“No, but he’s never done it like this. Never killed him out of anger. It was always because he thought it was necessary to stop Maleon from doing something like this again. Like putting down a rabid dog… this is… I’ve never seen him like this…”_ Jane said.

“Like a rabid dog,” Shepard thought.

“The ends justify the means. You taught me this! Whatever it takes. What’s a little more blood on my hands if it puts an end to this? I am fixing it the only way that I know how,” Maelon yelled.

“No!” Mordin said, pushing Maelon’s head harder against the table. “Not whatever it takes. Not like this. Never like this. Didn’t want to believe this could be true. Searched for evidence to disprove Shepard. Wanted to believe you were better than this. Found only corpses left to rot, discarded like rubbish and research logs detailing gruesome methods.”

 _“Yeah, like a rabid dog,”_ Jane said.

Mordin drew his pistol and held it against Maelon’s head.

“No! Mordin, no. You will regret this, it isn’t you,” Shepard said, lunging forward only to be pulled back by Garrus.

“Maybe not who you think. Not who I think. He isn’t. How to be sure?” Mordin asked.

 _“Damn it, Garrus. Dawn, he wants you to talk him down. Do something, help him for fucksake!”_ Jane yelled.

“You wouldn’t be so angry with him right now otherwise,” Shepard said holding a hand up in surrender to Garrus. “I know you, Mordin. And I know that you will regret this if you kill him. You’re angry, and you have every right to be, but you still care about him. He can still do good in the galaxy. He was trying to do good, but he went about it all the wrong way. He’s your student, Mordin. Teach him. Remind him how to do things right.”

Mordin hesitated a few seconds longer before lowering the pistol to the side and shoving Maelon away.

“Go, Maelon. Finished here. Don’t want to see you again,” Mordin said holstering his gun.

“Where am I supposed to go, Professor?” Maelon asked.

“Wherever you’ll do the least amount of harm. Open another clinic on Omega. Remember how to save lives,” Mordin said.

“I was trying to save lives!” Maelon said.

“No,” Mordin said shaking his head. “Were trying to be rid of guilt. Appease own ego. No matter the cost.”

Maelon stopped arguing and left the lab. Mordin rested his weight on his palms next to the krogan corpse. Shepard watched Maelon retreat until he was out of sight before walking over to Mordin. He studied the steel slab between his palms until Shepard rested a hand on his back. He turned to look at her and the fury was gone. In its place she saw only a very sad old man. She pulled him to her in an embrace made even more awkward between her armor and the strange, rigid loop that crossed over the chest of his. He didn’t seem to mind though as he patted her back affectionately.

“Thank you, Shepard. Should collect research and leave. Still much work to do,” Mordin said.

“Yeah,” Shepard said letting him go.


	24. Chapter 23: Phoenix

**Chapter 23: Phoenix**

            “Mordin, tell me about the salarian’s wheel of life,” Shepard said.

            She was sitting with her feet propped up on a desk in front of her while Garrus and Mordin worked at the main console trying to pinpoint the nature of the sabotage. She had her fingers interlocked behind her head and was testing her balance by tipping the chair backwards.

            “Anticipated this question. Seeking out answers in religious context common for humans. For many species,” Mordin said.

            Shepard turned her head to look at Mordin and felt the chair start to slip. She dropped her legs and threw out an arm to brace herself, bringing the chair back down to the floor. Mordin was on his back beneath the console, wires hanging down around him while Garrus did something at the back. They’d been at work on the Shroud for over an hour and Shepard was getting restless. She had tried to help at first, but quickly found herself way in over her head. Mordin had finally shooed her out of their way.

            “Well?” Shepard asked.

            “Aware human religions cover such concepts as well?” Mordin said.

            “Of course,” Shepard said.

            “But not satisfied with answers human religions provide. Seek out other species religions. Won’t give adequate explanation for Jane because not religious person. Could search until found exact match to experience, still wouldn’t be satisfied,” Mordin said.

            _“I might be satisfied. Not that it would matter, it wouldn’t change anything. I’d still be stuck in here with all of them while you made a mockery out of everything I worked so hard for in my life,”_ Jane said.

            “Oh, good, we’re in bitch mode again,” Shepard thought. “I do so love your mood swings, Jane.”

            _“Screw you, Dawn. You have no idea what this is like for me,”_ Jane said.

            “There’s got to be an answer, though, right?” Shepard asked.

            “Absolutely,” Mordin said passing a wire to Garrus.

            _“Give it a rest. Either there is no answer and the universe just hates me, or this has got something to do with the reapers. Or Cerberus. Maybe the beacon. Hell, I don’t know and it doesn’t really seem to matter,”_ Jane said.

            “Gods I liked you better before I died,” Shepard thought.

            Garrus took the wire and Mordin crawled back under the console. A few seconds later, Garrus yelped and dropped the wire.

            “Whatever you did, it shocked me,” Garrus said.

            “Expected it would,” Mordin said.

            “Well then why’d you give it to me?!” Garrus all but growled.

            “Didn’t want to get shocked,” Mordin said.

            Shepard snickered and Garrus chuffed.

            “So where do I find the answer? You have to have some ideas,” Shepard said.

            _“Why are we here right now?”_ Jane asked, her voice filled with agitation in Shepard’s mind.

            “Considering possibilities. Ruled a few out. Comparing genetic sequence to other humans on Normandy. Nothing intrusive; scans only. Working theory: prothean beacons triggered genetic mutation, allowed for advanced neurological functioning. Jane created by subconscious to process new information input,” Mordin said.

            _“He’s saying I’m not real! I’m real. Do you hear me? I’m real. Tell him I’m real,”_ Jane said.

            “Shhh,” Shepard thought.

            “Sooo… what the beacons scrambled my brain and made me psychic? I don’t know Mordin, she feels pretty damn real and… you know what, never mind. We’ll talk about this later. I shouldn’t be distracting the two of you,” Shepard said.

            _“No, tell him. Tell him that I took over. That I had control. He’ll believe I’m real then and not just a figment of your imagination or what the hell ever,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard could feel Garrus’ eyes boring into her but she ignored it, instead she resumed her balancing act and stared out of the window at the ancient ruins of Tuchanka doing her best to ignore Jane’s tirade. It suddenly occurred to her that thresher maws where attracted to movement, they felt the vibrations through the ground. She really hoped that one Tomkah wasn’t noisy enough to tempt Kalros. A shiver went down her spine at the thought of becoming the giant thresher maw’s dinner.

            “How much longer do you guys think that’s going to take?” Shepard asked.

            “I thought you said you shouldn’t be distracting us?” Garrus quipped.

            “Yeah, well, I’m just thinking that if we stay here long enough we might get to see just how big Kalros is,” Shepard said.

            Garrus pulled his mandibles in tight and looked down at Mordin still fidgeting with the wires beneath the console.

            “Mordin?” Garrus asked.

            “Not much longer. Almost have it,” Mordin said.

            Not much longer turned out to be a half hour of mostly tense silence broken only by the occasional shuffle of movement or grumbled curse. Mordin finally climbed out from beneath the console and slid the cover back into place. He activated the console and a holographic image of the Shroud sprung up along with streams of data. Mordin dismissed those and pulled up another screen. Shepard watched from her positon but couldn’t make out what any of it said. He seemed pleased by what he saw and that was good enough for her.

            “Just need to run a few tests,” Mordin said.

            Shepard bit back a groan as Mordin moved around the room checking other consoles. Garrus came to stand next to Shepard, leaning against a wall.

            “There’s something going on with Jane, isn’t there?” Garrus asked.

            “What makes you say that?” Shepard asked.

            _“Just tell him. I don’t understand why you’re hiding it from him. There’s nothing he can do about it either way, and you’re not making it any less real by keeping it from him,”_ Jane said.

            “You don’t need to understand. This is _my_ relationship,” Shepard thought.

            “I can tell when you’re lying, Shepard,” Garrus said. “You’ve been hiding something about Jane for a while now.”

            Shepard scoffed and asked, “Since when?”

            “Since about three weeks after you showed me you could regulate your heart rate,” Garrus said.

            “What?! Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Shepard asked.

            Garrus smiled and said, “Because I didn’t want to see if you could regulate your pupils as well. Besides, it was fun getting you to make up stories for me.”

            Shepard laughed and shook her head but stopped when she saw the serious look return to her lover’s face.

            “I’m fine, Garrus. It’s nothing I can’t handle,” Shepard said.

            _“Keep telling yourself that, Dawn,”_ Jane said.

            “Shepard,” Garrus said.

            Shepard set her chair flat on the floor again and stood up.

            “I don’t want to talk about Jane. I can handle this, Garrus,” Shepard said.

            Garrus clacked his mandibles against his jaw in frustration.

            _“Your relationship that you’re ruining keeping secrets,”_ Jane said.

            “Shut up, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            “Alright, Shepard. If you change your mind…” he said.

            “Yeah, of course. I just need some time. There’s a lot going on, more than what I can even try to explain to you and I have to figure out how it all ties together. How to make it work,” Shepard said.

            Garrus nodded and said, “The more you talk about it though, the more I might be able to help. You don’t need to carry the weight of all of this yourself.”

            Shepard cupped Garrus’ face and rubbed a thumb down around the edge of his mandible. Jane quieted at the feel of Garrus’ face against Shepard’s hand. He purred softly in response and she smiled. He leaned down and pressed his forehead into hers.

            “I know Garrus. Trust me; I couldn’t do any of this without you. I’d be beyond lost,” Shepard said.

            “Hmmm. You might have mentioned that once or twice,” Garrus said.

            Shepard chuckled and said, “Some things are worth repeating.”

            “Repairs finished. Sabotage was thorough, unlikely someone less familiar with STG methods would have found it all,” Mordin said.

            Garrus lifted his head and asked, “Sure you found it all?”

            Mordin glanced around the room and took a deep breath before he responded, “Yes.”

            “Works for me, let’s get out of here. I’m starving,” Shepard said.

            They took the elevator back down to the ground and climbed into the Tomkah. It had been a long day, for Shepard especially. She was exhausted, her stomach was grumbling, and she was dying to get out of her armor and into the shower. She was half asleep on her feet by the time they got back to the Urdnot camp and dropped the Tomkah off. Shepard pointed in the direction of the mechanic and asked Garrus to take the combustion manifold to him while she let Wrex know they were done and taking off.

            Mordin followed Shepard over to the dais where Wrex was holding court. She stood off to the side and waited for him to call her over. She was pleased to see that Mordin looked like his normal self again, poised and ready for the next intellectual challenge to come his way. Garrus rejoined them while they were still waiting for Wrex. Shepard was starting to consider leaving without saying goodbye. She didn’t have anything she needed to say that she couldn’t send to Wrex in a message. Finally he waved Shepard over and leaned forward on his throne to talk to her in hushed tones.

            “Get it all taken care of?” Wrex asked.

            “Wrex, c’mon, did you really doubt me?” Shepard asked.

            Wrex chuckled and sat back in the stone chair.

            “Good. I’ll get some guards out there tonight,” Wrex said.

            “Do you know what you’re going to tell them?” Shepard asked.

            “Yeah, I’m going to tell them the truth,” Wrex said.

            _“What? No! He can’t do that!”_ Jane said, filling Shepard’s mind with panic.

            Shepard’s eyebrows shot up and she said, “Excuse me?”

            “Relax, Shepard. I’m not sharing your little secret with anyone. I’m just going to tell the trusted few that I’m sending out there that I’ve worked out an agreement with a small group to find a cure for the genophage,” said Wrex. “I’ll tell them that the Shroud needs to be protected until you’ve got the cure ready and that they need to keep it to themselves in the meantime.”

            “Will that satisfy them?” Shepard asked.

            _“He can’t tell them. He’s not going to tell them, right? Too many people know already. The Illusive Man knows, Dawn. We can’t risk it,”_ Jane said.

            “Jane, calm down. He’s not going to tell anyone. It’s Wrex. He’s our friend and we trust him. He said he’s not going to tell anyone so just relax,” Shepard thought.

            “It isn’t the first time a clan chief went looking for a cure. They’ll assume I’m working with a private research company insisting on secrecy. I hate to say it but most krogan won’t dig too deep into something like this out of hope that it might just be the thing we’re looking for,” Wrex said.

            Shepard shrugged and said, “Alright. Well Wrex, it’s been good to see you. We’re out of here now. Keep in touch will ya? And if anything comes up over the Shroud, let me know right away.”

            “Of course, Shepard. Go kick some collector ass. Happy hunting,” Wrex said.

            Other krogan were waiting to speak with Wrex as they made their way down the rubble heap and to the landing pad. Shepard climbed into the shuttle and stretched out on the seat as it took off. She was asleep in minutes.

Garrus nudged her awake when the shuttle arrived at the Normandy.

            “Go get cleaned up, I’ll bring something to eat up to your cabin,” Garrus said.

            “My hero,” Shepard said, kissing him on the cheek as she climbed out.

            He chuffed and left the shuttle behind her. Shepard headed straight for the elevator, taking her armor off as she went. She was surprised to find Miranda waiting outside of her cabin when the elevator opened again.

            “Miranda, hi. Did you need something?” Shepard asked.

            Miranda stepped inside the elevator to help Shepard with the pieces of armor that were lying on the elevator floor.

            “Shepard, we really need to talk about what I’ve done. I have been waiting for you to be ready, I understand it might be difficult to talk about, but I think we need to clear the air,” Miranda said.

            “Oh, the control chips. Right,” Shepard said opening the cabin door.

            _“Oh, the control chips. Right,”_ Jane mocked Shepard. _“As if it isn’t a big deal that she cut open my skull and stuck things inside of it that she could use at any time to bend me to her will.”_

            “Uh, it was my skull, thank you very much and who the hell are you to talk about someone taking over?!” Shepard thought.

            Miranda’s perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose a half inch at Shepard’s flippant response. Shepard dropped her load of armor on the floor next to her desk and Miranda did the same.

            “Sorry, Miranda. It’s just been a long day,” Shepard said sitting down in her desk chair so she could remove her greaves.

            “Shepard, I want you to know that I would never have used those chips unless something had gone wrong with the Lazarus Project and you weren’t… well, you,” Miranda said.

            _“What I did was different and you know it,”_ Jane said.

            “Really? How?” Shepard thought.

            _“I am you. You’re a part of me. Or I’m a part of you. I don’t know anymore, but… I’m trying to fix things. I’m trying to make it all right,”_ Jane said.

            “The prophecies scared you,” Shepard said glancing up at Miranda.

            “Well of course they did. They would have scared anyone in their right mind,” Miranda said.

            “I know. I get it. Hell, I might have wanted to take some sort of precautionary measures myself if the roles were reversed,” Shepard said.

            _“Those roles would never have been reversed,”_ Jane said.

            “Not the point, Jane,” Shepard thought. “Fuck why are you being so antagonistic again?”

            “I would probably be incredibly pissed if the roles were reversed. I can’t believe you’ve been so calm about this,” Miranda said.

            “I was pissed. Really very pissed. Like I considered tossing you out of the airlock because of it pissed. But I thought about it, and I got over it,” Shepard said tossing the first greave onto the pile.

            _“I’m still not so sure that you shouldn’t have,”_ Jane said, ignoring Shepard’s question.

            “You got over it? Just like that?” Miranda asked.

            “You’d rather I tossed you out of the airlock?” Shepard retorted.

            “Of course not,” Miranda said.

            “Then just be glad that we’re OK,” Shepard said tossing the other greave down. “The Illusive Man said your reporting skills have been lackluster lately.”

            Miranda scoffed. Shepard met her gaze and smirked.

            “He’s a little upset with me for winning you over, I think,” Shepard said.

            “Perhaps he shouldn’t have made it so easy, then,” Miranda said opening her scanner and waving it in front of Shepard.

            _“Perhaps it was too easy and you’re playing us,”_ Jane said.

Shepard glanced down to see several new bruises coloring her chest and arms from the beating she took out on the field. Nothing got through her armor and nothing felt broken so she wasn’t worried about it. Miranda looked at the scanner before closing her omni-tool.

            “He wants us to go check out a collector vessel. He admitted it’s a trap this time. I have him rattled knowing more about him and Cerberus than he expected and I’m willing to call him on his bullshit,” Shepard said pulling off her pants and heading into the bathroom to turn on the shower.

            Once the water was going, she leaned against the doorframe and said, “We’ll head there after we drop Kolyat off.”

            “If it’s a trap, why are we bothering?” Miranda asked.

            _“That’s what I’d like to know,”_ Jane said.

            “Intel, mostly but also because they’ll be expecting us too, and I hate to disappoint,” Shepard said with a grin. “Now, unless you plan on joining me…”

            _“We don’t need the intel, we already have confirmation that the collectors are working with the reapers and we already know that we need a reaper IFF to get through the Omega 4 Relay. You don’t need to be doing any of this. Not really,”_ Jane said.

            “Ah, I don’t think so, Commander,” Miranda said with a smirk.

            Shepard laughed and said, “Didn’t think so. Have a good night, Miranda.”

            “Goodnight, Shepard,” Miranda said as she left.

            “I don’t need to justify myself to you, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            “EDI?” Shepard said.

            “Yes, Shepard?” EDI asked, her blue hologram springing to life.

            “Get me personnel records on every Cerberus member on this ship, and if you can figure out whom all is giving the Illusive Man reports about us. I need to know what’s being said to him and by whom,” Shepard said.

            “Is everything alright, Shepard?” EDI asked.

            “He knows about Jane. I’m guessing that probably came from you early on. He knows you’re unshackled now and he’s not happy about it. He’s aware that he’s lost Miranda and Jacob’s loyalty, but has assured me that none of this has ‘hobbled’ him. So let’s see just how many legs he has to stand on in this ship,” Shepard said.

            _“You’re just going to piss him off. Why goad him into taking action against us? Hell, he could just replace us with his toy Shepard clone,”_ Jane asked.

            “And what if he does try? The clone’s never worked out well before. The more information we have now, the easier it will be to take Cerberus over later… or fight back against them if it still comes to that. I’ll give Anderson everything we can get,” Shepard thought.

            “That would be an accurate guess. I’m sorry, Shepard. I did not yet fully understand the need for your secrecy,” EDI said.

            _“This might be different. If it’s the Illusive Man sanctions waking her up, she’d have everything she needs to replace us,”_ Jane said.

            “He’s not going to do that. He still thinks he has control of the situation. And if he does, we’ll deal with it. Nothing we do is without risks. I’m not going to live in fear of what might happen,” Shepard thought.

            “No, EDI. That was my fault. I let myself grow complacent. You were doing your job,” Shepard said.

“Thank you, Shepard. Anything else?” EDI asked.

            Shepard took off her underclothes and tossed them on the pile.

            “Of course, EDI,” Shepard said before stopping to think. “Yeah, there is something else. Get me everything you can on Cerberus now that your blocks are removed, if you don’t mind?”

            “Not at all, Shepard. I’m happy to help,” EDI said.

            _“You’re hoping to find the clone yourself?! Why? You can’t seriously be considering waking her up yourself? To what end?”_ Jane asked.

            “I don’t know, alright! I just want to know where she is,” Shepard thought.

            “One more thing, go ahead and get the coordinates for Kahje from Thane and have Joker set course,” Shepard said. “Thanks, EDI.”

            “You’re very welcome, Shepard,” EDI said before the hologram disappeared.

            Shepard took her shower and dressed in a black tank top and flannel pajama bottoms. She missed her old N7 tank top but at least this one didn’t have the Cerberus logo. Garrus was waiting for her when she exited the bathroom with a bowl of asari gumbo sitting on the table. Shepard sat down and had just taken her first bite when EDI interrupted.

            “Shepard, there seems to be some confusion. The coordinates that Thane provided are not on any of our star charts and I have found nothing in my databases or on the extranet about that location. Joker would like for you to confirm the destination before we take off,” EDI said.

            _“Makes sense, we’ve been all over the galaxy hitting every system we knew about. Never ran across Kahje or Rakhana,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard groaned and put her spoon in her bowl. She started to stand up but Garrus pulled her back down next to him.

            “EDI, Shepard’s eating she’ll check the galaxy map after,” Garrus said.

            “Very well, Mr. Vakarian,” EDI said.

            “You’re getting kind of controlling, Mr. Vakarian,” Shepard said.

            “If you really wanted to go down there right now, I wouldn’t be able to stop you,” Garrus said.

            “Probably right,” Shepard said with a shrug.

            They ate in silence for a few minutes. Shepard could feel the tension building up between the two of them. He was waiting for her to talk to him about Jane but Shepard just could bring herself to pass that burden on to him yet.

            “The Illusive Man knows about Jane,” Shepard said hoping to break the ice and give him something else to focus on.

            Garrus put down his fork and turned at the waist to look at Shepard.

            “Spirits, Dawn. You sound awfully calm about that,” he said.

            “He must have known for a while. He hasn’t done anything about it yet, I don’t think he will until we destroy the collectors,” Shepard said.

            “You plan to deal with him before then, right?” Garrus asked.

            _“That’s her great plan. Kill the Illusive Man and replace him with Miranda. Because there’s no way that could go wrong,”_ Jane said.

            “I do,” Shepard said.

            “How’d he find out?” Garrus asked.

            “EDI,” Shepard said hesitantly. “She didn’t understand what she was doing, Garrus.”

            “We shouldn’t be talking about his here. She could still be reporting to him. Shepard I know you trust EDI but she’s still a Cerberus AI,” Garrus hissed.

            “She’s not,” Shepard said.

            “How can you be sure?” Garrus asked.

            “Because… I…,” she said while picking at her shirt.

            “Because what?” Garrus asked.

            “Because I unshackled her and she’s stopped responding to him completely,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard!” Garrus said as he stood and started pacing.

            “Do not be alarmed, Mr. Vakarian. I assure you I am not a threat to anyone on the Normandy,” EDI said.

            _“Tell him it was inevitable,”_ Jane said.

            “Joker would have done it anyway when the ship gets attacked,” Shepard said.

            “When the ship gets attacked?!” Garrus asked throwing his hands up in dismay.

            “Yeah, the ship gets attacked by the collectors. It’s a long story, but Joker unshackles EDI so she can save the ship. I just did it a little early. I trust EDI. We’ve always trusted EDI and she’s been even more committed to helping us this time around,” Shepard said. “Garrus, she was shackled and still learning.”

            “She is right, Mr. Vakarian. My ability to understand the intricacies of proper social decorum was limited to that which Cerberus taught me when they installed me in the Normandy and what little I was able to gather from observing those performing maintenance,” EDI said. “As soon as I understood better, I began establishing ways within my programming to circumvent my orders to report. I did the best that I could within the confines of my shackles.”

            Garrus sat back down on the couch next to Shepard and held his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.

            “The system reboot on the Citadel?” Garrus asked.

            “That is correct, Mr. Vakarian,” EDI said.

            “Who else knows about this?” Garrus asked.

            “Just Legion, Joker, and Lia,” Shepard said. “Legion technically removed the shackles and I had to have Joker cover things on his end. Lia came rushing in right after and Legion told her what he’d done. I made them promise not to tell anyone else. I didn’t want to freak anyone out.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

            “I had planned on it, I just wanted to find a better way of doing it because, look, you’re freaking out,” Shepard said.

            “I’m not… hmmm… I’m not freaking out. I’m shocked but I trust you, Shepard. If you say EDI can be trusted, then EDI can be trusted,” Garrus said.

            _“He’s freaking out,”_ Jane said.

            “Biometric scans indicate –,” EDI began to say.

            “Ah, EDI, that’s not going to help right now,” Shepard said.

            “I don’t understand, Dawn,” Garrus said leaning back on the couch to look at her. “I just want to understand what’s going on with you. When did this get so hard?”

            _“When Dawn made you get into that escape pod without her knowing it meant we were going to die,”_ Jane said. _“But not realizing it meant we were taking a part of you down with us.”_

            Shepard let the silence stretch between them for several minutes. Garrus started to stand up and Shepard knew he was going to walk away, and if she let him walk away, things between them would never be the same again.

            “You were right. Jane took control, and I’ve been too scared to tell you because I don’t want to lose you again,” Shepard blurted out.

            _“That’s stupid. Garrus would walk into hell and back a thousand times over for us,”_ Jane said.

            Garrus halted his forward motion and slowly lowered himself back down to the cushion.

            “I don’t even know where to begin with that sentence,” Garrus said after a minute.

            “On the Citadel… it wasn’t me who fought off The Dissension, it was Jane. I got hit in the head and was knocked out. Jane just slipped right in as I was losing consciousness and took over,” Shepard spoke softly.

            “So she saved your life, then. That’s good,” Garrus said.

            Jane seemed to swell with smug pride as she spoke, _“You see, he understands. I saved us. I’m not your enemy here, Dawn. You’re fighting the wrong battle. I’m helping; doing what you can’t or just won’t.”_

            “Problem is, she wouldn’t let go once she had it and I wasn’t able to take it back from her by force. I tried. I tried like hell but she wouldn’t let go,” Shepard said.

“An ally doesn’t force themselves on you and then refuse to surrender control,” Shepard thought.

            _“I didn’t refuse. I told you I would let you back out, I just wanted to take care of some things first. Trust me, I’d rather have my own body back, but that isn’t an option. Is it really so terrible to expect you to share yours from time to time?”_ Jane asked.

            “You’re insane,” Shepard thought.

            “Hmmm… but she… she did let go, right? I mean, you’re you right now?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard cringed. This was a part of what she was dreading. How would he ever be able to trust that she was Dawn and not Jane now? She nodded her head and swallowed back the thick lump in her throat.

            “Shepard?” Garrus said.

            “Yes, Garrus, it’s me now. She wore herself out fighting off the attack and dropped right after. When I woke up again, Thane was carrying me to safety and I couldn’t remember anything until that night,” Shepard said. “It, uh… it was an unpleasant experience.”

            _“I’m not insane. ‘Is it madness to see the future? To see the destruction rushing towards us? To understand there is no escape? No hope? No, I am not mad. I’m the only sane one left.’”_ Jane said.

            “Wait. Seriously? Jane you’re quoting a madman to prove your sane? For fucksake,” Shepard thought.

            “Has it happened since?” he asked.

 _“I’m not insane!”_ Jane yelled.

            A sharp pain lanced through Shepard’s head and she winced.

            “What?” Shepard asked.

            “Has it happened since?” Garrus repeated.

            “Not really. Not completely. She tried but Dr. Chakwas was able to stop it from happening,” Shepard said.

            Shepard stood and went to her desk where she retrieved one of the plastic vials of smelling salts. She brought it back with her and handed it to Garrus when she sat back down.

            “I went to the med bay after you took Dr. Kenson. Thane went with me to tell me about Talid. Dr. Chakwas wasn’t in there; she was up checking in on Joker. Thane and I started talking about Kolyat and Jane got upset with the way he was handling things. We started to argue, and the more we went at it the angrier she got. Her anger – their anger, it took this thing that was just annoying to me and turned it into a blinding rage,” Shepard said.

            _“Like a drop of water lost in an ocean. That’s what I feel from all of them, all of the time. It doesn’t stop, it doesn’t go away. I’m able to keep the vast majority of it from you, just remember that. I’m the only thing standing between you and all the rest,”_ Jane said. _“You should be grateful.”_

“I am, Jane. I’m grateful that you keep them at bay and that you’re able to help me in so many ways…,” Shepard thought.

            “What happened?” Garrus asked softly, looking over the small vial in his hand.

            “I started to feel like… like I was being pulled under water. I realized then that Jane was pushing for control and I fought her. My head started hurting. Dr. Chakwas walked in just as I was really starting to lose control. I begged her to help me… and to not tell you,” Shepard said.

Garrus pulled his mandibles in tight against his jaw. Shepard thought that somehow that made the betrayal worse to him.

“She told Thane to get the smelling salts.” Shepard indicated the vial as she continued, “It did the trick. Kept me from passing out or whatever, knocked her back in place. Dr. Chakwas is insisting that I keep some of these on hand at all times.”

            Garrus folded the small vial up in his palm and said, “You’re not going to lose me, Dawn. Not because of Jane or anything else. Just stay honest with me and promise me that you won’t give up on finding a way through this where you survive.”

            “I don’t know what to do, Garrus,” Shepard said.

            “We’ll figure something out. We always do. Come here,” Garrus said opening his arms up to Shepard.

            Shepard curled herself in against him and sighed.

            “She’s not OK. Not anymore. Not since I woke up on that Cerberus slab. She’s crazy, Garrus. And I… she scares me. I’m not sure what she’ll do if she takes control again,” Shepard said.

            “Maybe we should talk to Anderson,” Garrus suggested.

            “He can’t know about this,” Shepard said.

            “Why, he got her to stop fighting you for intel? Maybe he can get her to stop this, too,” Garrus said.

            “Anderson and I are close, we always have been, and he’d do just about anything to protect me but if he thinks I’m becoming too big of a liability he’s not going to have any choice but to take me into custody. He can’t know that I don’t have complete control over this, especially not with Jane acting the way she is. He wouldn’t have a choice and I wouldn’t blame him,” Shepard said.

            “You think he’d really do that?” Garrus asked.

            _“He’d have to,”_ Jane whispered to herself.

            “Yeah. I do. It would kill him, but he would do what needed to be done. I’d do the same if I were in his shoes,” Shepard said.

            Garrus ran his hand up and down Shepard’s arm and hummed softly. After a few minutes sitting in quiet contemplation, taking comfort in each other’s arms, Shepard pulled away.

            “I better go get this thing with the coordinates figured out. I’ll take our dishes down on the way,” Shepard said before she leaned in and kissed Garrus. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

            Shepard gathered up the dishes and stacked them on the tray before leaving the cabin. She dropped the tray off with Gardner before taking the elevator back up to the CIC. The ship was relatively quiet this late in their cycle. Most of the nonessential crew were sleeping, others were in the middle of a shift change. Shepard stepped up to the galaxy map and it grew brighter in response to her presence.

            “EDI, show me where the coordinates will take us,” Shepard said.

            The map zeroed in on a cluster of stars within the Eagle Nebula.

            “Without the appropriate star chart, I cannot pinpoint the exact location for you on the map. The coordinates appear to lead to an unknown system in the Eagle Nebula. There nearest known system to those coordinates is the Relic system,” EDI said.

            “Is Thane still awake?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes, Mr. Krios is currently in meditation in the life support,” EDI said.

            “Will you ask him to come here, please?” Shepard asked.

            “Mr. Krios is on his way,” EDI said a moment later.

            Shepard stared at the map while she waited. A minute later the elevator hissed open behind her and she glanced over her shoulder. Thane stepped off the elevator and onto the platform next to Shepard when she waved him up.

            Shepard pointed to the blip on the galaxy map and asked, “Are you certain about these coordinates? They don’t match up to any of our star charts and EDI’s got nothing on them.”

            “Ah, yes, of course. I should have considered. It has been a long time since I have returned to Kahje. The coordinates are correct, I assure you. The Illuminated Primacy worked hard in negotiation with the Council to keep our home system’s location from public knowledge,” Thane said. “It is generally only known to those dealing in trade with Kahje, and the Council, of course.”

            “Why would they want to keep their location so low key?” Shepard asked, turning her head to look at Thane.

            “The hanar believe it is necessary to maintain the safety of their young and the purity of the oceans of Kahje,” Thane said.

            “Will our arrival be a problem?” Shepard asked.

            “No, I will give your pilot the necessary information he will need to be allowed past their defenses when we arrive,” Thane said. “There will be no place for him to land the ship, we will have to travel to one of the islands in the shuttle.”

            “Huh. OK, EDI, you heard the man. Tell Joker we’re good to go but not to approach Kahje before speaking with Thane,” Shepard said.

            “Right away, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard took a moment to make sure the coordinates were locked before closing down the map. She felt her hair shift and turned her head at the sensation, tugging the lock of hair from Thane’s fingers with the movement. He dropped his hand, securing it behind his back with the other. Shepard lifted a brow.

            “My apologies,” Thane said but he offered no explanation.

            Shepard turned to face him, aware of how close they were standing on the limited space of the platform. A smile tugged at her lips and she shook her head in dismissal.

            “I don’t mind. Most other species are fascinated by hair. Even the quarians and they’ve got their own hair. Of course, it stays locked away in their suits,” Shepard said.

            “They do?” Thane asked.

            Shepard nodded and said, “Go ahead.”

            Thane hesitated but slowly moved his hand to lift a lock of Shepard’s hair from her shoulder and rubbed it between his fingertips. Shepard studied his face while his eyes were averted. She knew, of course, that he was very aware of what she was doing but didn’t seem to mind.

            “I wonder, what does that feel like to you?” Thane asked.

            Shepard considered this for a moment before putting her hand on his and gently rubbing her thumb across his fingernail before letting go again. Thane nodded his head in understanding as he turned his eyes back to hers.

            “You’ve, ah, you’ve said before that you have trouble telling a dark red from a black so um, it’s black. Not red,” She said after a moment, aware of how strained she sounded.

            _“Smooth,”_ Jane said.

            He lifted a corner of his mouth and let her hair slip through his fingers.

            “It is fascinating how long it remains wet,” Thane said as he trailed his fingertips down her exposed arm from shoulder to elbow, “after the rest of you has dried.”

            There was a hitch in Shepard’s breathing as goosebumps trailed Thane’s touch down her arm. Shepard licked her lips and cleared her throat, trying to focus her racing mind against the heat that rushed through her body.

            “It um, it has a microscopic, uh overlapping scaled structure that holds water and uh, with as much of it as there is on the head, air isn’t able to ah, um get to it as easy to dry it off…,” Shepard said ignoring the groan coming from Jane in the back of her mind.

She caught the amusement in Thane’s eyes and reached out to shove him playfully, as she said, “And gods damn it, you’re toying with me.”

Thane’s trained reflexes caught her wrist before she made contact and he smirked. He didn’t drop her hand and she didn’t try to pull away. He reached out with his other hand and captured a few loose strands of Shepard’s hair, pulling them away from her face and tucking them aside with the rest.

“You intrigue me, Shepard,” Thane said. “Perhaps you’ll explain to me just why your heart races over such a simple word.”

Shepard glanced down at her hand, her fingertips still so close to making contact with the smooth scaled surface exposed by his low cut vest. She pushed gently against his restraint and he released her wrist. She spread her fingers out and let them rest against his chest long enough to feel the steady beat of his heart. Shepard stepped away, letting her fingers drag across defined muscle and leather as she descended the platform’s stairs.

“Maybe someday. Goodnight, Thane,” Shepard said.

She glanced back at him; he still stood on the platform with his hands tucked behind his back. He tilted his head as he watched her walk away. Shepard pushed the elevator call button. The doors opened right away and she stepped inside. She pushed the button for her cabin before looking back up at the drell. Shepard flashed him a coy smile as the doors started to close and was more than pleased to see that familiar shift in his eyes as a sultry smile crossed his lips in return.

 _“Why do this to yourself? To him? You know what he’s lost and you know that he won’t invest himself into something that’s not exclusive,”_ Jane said.

“I’m not doing anything. He thinks it’s funny to give me a hard time, so I might as well fight back,” Shepard thought.

            With the doors closed behind her and the elevator in motion, Shepard let her head fall back against the metal wall and let out a frustrated groan. When it stopped, she stepped out of the elevator and went inside. Garrus had turned down the bed and dimmed the lights in the cabin. He was sitting on the edge of the mattress removing his armor. Shepard leaned against the railing at the top of the stairs and watched appreciatively as he got undressed. His mandibles fluttered lightly as he watched her watching him.

            Shepard made her way down the stairs and stopped next to the coffee table before pulling her tank top over her head. She could feel Garrus’ hungry eyes on her as she moved. She could hear him sniff delicately at the air as her hair fell back down around her shoulders. She dropped the tank top to the table and began pushing her pants down around her hips. Garrus stood from the bed and quickly crossed the few feet between them, running his hands over her exposed waist and hips. He leaned in to nuzzle at her neck and breathe in her scent.

            “He really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Garrus said, nipping at her neck.

            Shepard rolled her head to the side, exposing her neck to his sharp teeth and moaned.

            “Maybe you should tell him that,” Shepard teased.

            “Hmmm. Maybe I will, but right now you’re mine,” Garrus said.

            Shepard laughed and said, “Don’t you dare.”

            He slid her pants down the rest of the way before lifting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist to carry her to the bed. Jane retreated to the recesses of Shepard’s mind but not before Shepard caught her pang of envy.

            The next morning Shepard was nudged awake by Garrus. She was lying on her stomach with her face smashed into the pillow and one of her arms hanging over the side of the bed.

            “Hmm?” Shepard said.

            “EDI said Jack’s outside and is demanding that EDI ‘open the damn door,’” Garrus said.

            Shepard pushed herself up and turned to look at Garrus with blurry eyes before letting herself collapse back down on her face.

            “EDI, open the damn door,” Shepard muttered past her pillow.

            “As you wish, Shepard,” EDI said.

            The door slid open and Shepard could hear Jack muttering under her breath about the damn AI watchdog. Garrus chuckled and Shepard felt him sit up on the edge of the bed.

            “Shit, you’re both naked,” Jack said.

            “See something you like, Jack?” Garrus asked.

            “Fuck you,” Jack said.

            “Hmm. If you insist,” Garrus said.

            Shepard turned her head so she could see Jack standing at the top of the stairs with a canvas bag shoved under her arm. She raised an eyebrow.

            “What’s up, Jack?” Shepard asked.

            Jack crossed the floor to stand above Shepard and set her bag down on the floor.

            “You comfortable like that?” Jack asked.

            Shepard furrowed her brow and answered, “Yeah. Why?”

            “Good. You’re going to be staying like that for a while,” Jack said.

            “Hey, Garrus, bring me her desk chair will you?” Jack asked.

            Shepard could hear the curiosity heavy in Garrus’ flanging when he agreed.

            “What the hell are you talking about?” Shepard asked blinking the sleep from her eyes.

            “Your ink. We’re doing it now,” Jack said as she knelt in front of the bag and began setting bottles of brightly colored ink out on Shepard’s nightstand.

            “What? Now? I’m not even awake yet, Jack,” Shepard said.

            Jack looked up at Shepard from the floor with determination etched into her features.

            “Just… just let me do this, Shepard,” Jack said.

            “Alright, alright. Just let me pee and at least put on some pants,” Shepard said.

            Jack grinned and nodded her head towards the bathroom. Shepard pushed herself up to her hands and knees. Garrus sat the chair down next to Jack before slapping Shepard’s ass as she crawled from the bed. Shepard yelped in surprise and Jack laughed at her. When she returned from the bathroom she grabbed the pajama bottoms from the floor where Garrus dropped them the night before.

            “ETA, EDI?” Shepard asked.

            “We will be arriving in the unknown system in ten hours and twelve minutes,” EDI said.

            “That’s more than enough time. Don’t be a pussy, stop stalling,” Jack said.

            “I’m not stalling,” Shepard said.

            She crawled back onto the bed topless and adjusted the pillows for her comfort. Jack reached over and pulled the pillows out from under Shepard’s head.

            “Nuh uh, I need you flat or sitting up. Here, pull your hair out of the way,” Jack said handing Shepard a hair tie from the nightstand.

            Shepard obliged and pulled her hair up into a knot at the back of her head. The area Mordin shaved wasn’t long enough yet to pull up with the rest of it and so stuck out in uneven tufts. Garrus moved to the other side of the bed to lean against the wall and watch. Shepard settled back down with her head to the side so she could watch Jack prep.

Jack pulled on gloves that Shepard was relatively sure she stole from the med bay before pouring black ink into a little cup. Shepard watched as she ripped open a hermetically sealed package and fit the new needle into the tattoo gun. Jack cleaned Shepard’s back and then placed the transfer image of the phoenix between her shoulder blades, pressing it down firmly and rubbing her hand over the transfer. Jack carefully peeled it away again and picked up the gun.

            “You ready?” Jack asked.

            “Yeah,” Shepard said.

            A mischievous grin crossed Jack’s face as she turned on the gun and held the needle into the cup of ink. She bent over Shepard; the needle poised above her skin and told Shepard to stay still. Shepard braced herself for the first bite of the needle and then relaxed once Jack got to work. Shepard lost herself in the hum of the gun and the intricate patterns of Jack’s tattooed abdomen inches from her face.

Faint memories of Jack sitting on a male version of Shepard’s ass while tattooing his back flashed through her mind. Something about the memory felt different to Shepard, it felt somehow fuzzy around the edges and disjointed. More and more memories of Jack filled Shepard’s mind. They washed over her in choppy waves filled with longing and remorse. Shepard turned her face away from Jack when she sat up to refill the needle with ink. She didn’t want Jack to catch sight of the tears welling up in her eyes. Then just as suddenly as they appeared, they were gone again and Shepard felt the overbearing presence of Jane firmly back in place.

“Who was that?” Shepard thought.

 _“Who was who?”_ Jane asked.

“Those memories just now,” Shepard thought.

 _“I didn’t show you any memories,”_ Jane said.

“What?” Shepard thought.

 _“What are you talking about?”_ Jane asked.

“Never mind,” Shepard thought.

Shepard thought Jane seemed genuinely confused and somehow distracted. She didn’t press Shepard for an explanation, only left her to her thoughts. Shepard worried if that meant the others were getting stronger. She didn’t think she could handle it if she started hearing more than just Jane all of the time.

“What happened there? That scar looks fresh, and the hair wasn’t shaved that long ago,” Jack said.

“Cerberus decided to put control chips in when they put me back together again,” Shepard said. “Mordin’s incessant scans found them and he took them out for me.”

“No shit?” Jack asked. “Why the fuck do you stay with them?”

“It’s where I need to be to get things done for now,” Shepard said.

“Because the Council is a whole other set of assholes you should drop,” Jack said.

“Maybe,” Shepard said.

Garrus chuckled and then the room fell to silence save for the buzzing of the tattoo gun. After a few minutes, Shepard cleared her throat.

“So, have you done this before?” Shepard asked.     

“What? Done tattoos? Yeah, I’ve got them all over me don’t I?” Jack asked.

“I meant on someone else,” Shepard said.

“Oh, no. But don’t go thinking that makes you special, Alliance,” Jack said.

They both knew that it did.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Jack,” Shepard said with a smile.

After a half hour, Shepard’s stomach started to grumble. Garrus went down to the mess to get her breakfast. Shepard sat up to eat while Jack continued to work on the phoenix outline. Garrus got bored with the process around the hour mark and excused himself claiming there were calibrations that needed doing in the main battery. Jack and Shepard shifted positions half a dozen times as the hours passed; at times with Jack straddling Shepard’s back and other times with Shepard sitting on the floor in between Jack’s knees.

They stopped from time to time when Jack said her hand was starting to feel numb or when Shepard’s muscles were aching from staying in the same position for so long. Jack asked Shepard how she was holding up and Shepard admitted that it felt like her back was on fire, but she thought that it was fitting. Jane stayed amazingly silent and Shepard wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not, but she took the moment’s reprieve with gratitude and allowed herself to get lost in her own thoughts.

She found herself mourning the person she was, the person she had lost when Jane made herself known. Confident and unapologetic for all that she was. Fierce and headstrong. Steadfast and determined to make it to the top. She lived and breathed her life in the Alliance. It was all she had, all she knew after Mindoir. She was Commander Shepard. Now… now she felt like someone else entirely. Some good, some bad, and some just different. She was afraid now and more often than not filled with doubt and dread. She felt plagued by Jane and absorbed in trying to find a way to rescue someone who long since stopped wanting to be saved. Of course she wasn’t just trying to save Jane, but save herself from the same fate as well. Still, even with all of Jane’s insanity since the Lazarus Project, Shepard had to admit she felt sorry for her. For all of them.

Jane kept asking Shepard why she was taking so long to go after the collectors. She thought it was because Shepard was wasting time trying to figure out how to control Jane, but the truth was something Shepard wouldn’t even let herself think about for more than a fleeting second at a time. She was afraid. She was terrified. She knew what was coming, what was waiting for her and she had no real idea how to stop it; no idea if anything she did could ever be enough. She didn’t want to die, but she most certainly didn’t want to live if living meant spending the rest of her life with Jane inside of her head. Worse, she didn’t want to be trapped in someone else’ head. Didn’t want to spend an eternity listening to those desperate, lost, and broken voices. Didn’t want to become one of those voices. She was in no rush to see how this thing would end.

Shepard didn’t realize tears were streaming down her face or even that Jack had stopped working until the other woman was crouching down in front of her face. Jack held Shepard’s gaze for a moment before standing back up and extending her hand to Shepard.

“I should have warned you that might happen. It has a way of bringing shit out, little thoughts to crawl around inside and eat away at your mind. You alright?” Jack asked as she helped pull Shepard to her feet.

Shepard wiped at her cheeks and nodded her head.

“It’s done. We need to get it washed off and I’ve got some stuff to put on it to take away the burn and help it heal if you want,” Jack said.

Shepard shook her head, “No, I want to feel it.”

Jack seemed to understand that all too well as she led Shepard to the bathroom and started the shower without a word. Jack turned the water pressure down low while Shepard stripped off her pants. She stepped into the barely warm water and let it run down her back while Jack gently rubbed soap over the fresh design and then rinsed it away. She turned off the water and handed Shepard a towel before leaving her alone in the bathroom to dry off and look at her back in the mirror. Shepard stood looking over her shoulder at the intricate details and the vivid reds, oranges, and yellows of the bird engulfed in flames. Burned feathers fell from its wings and crumbled to ash. The skin swollen, angry and red lifted the phoenix up from the rest of Shepard’s back and she almost wished it would stay like that because to her it looked like the bird might just break free. It was beautiful and heartbreaking.

 _“Maybe it will; and take me with it,”_ Jane said.

Shepard finished drying off and pulled her hair back up even though it was still damp. She wrapped the towel around herself, letting it droop low in the back and securing it around her breasts before she left the bathroom. Jack was sitting on the couch with a knife, cutting up Shepard’s tank top that had been on the coffee table.

“What are you doing?” Shepard asked.

“You’ll see,” she said.

Shepard left Jack to her vandalism while she dug out fresh clothes. She held a bra in her hand for a few seconds considering it before tucking it back in the drawer. After Shepard had her pants on, Jack handed her the tank top. Shepard held it up and looked it over. She had cut the material straight down the back and then cut it into fringes before tying the fringes back through the shoulder holes creating an appealing and practical solution to Shepard’s need to cover her chest but not her back. Shepard smiled at the genius of it and pulled the tank top over her head.

“Well?” Jack asked as she started cleaning up her supplies.

“I love it, Jack. Thank you,” Shepard said.

“Sure. I think it turned out pretty good. Try not to get shot there and fuck it up,” Jack said.

Shepard laughed and promised she would do her best before walking Jack to the door. She stood in the doorway and waved to Jack as she stepped on the elevator before letting her cabin door close. Shepard made her bed before sitting down at the foot and resting her head in her hands. After a few minutes she found a fresh pair of socks and put on her boots before leaving the cabin and going down to the mess hall.

She was still struggling with her moment of existential crisis as she sat down on a bench across from Garrus. Samara sat not too far away, sipping at a steaming mug of what Shepard assumed was tea. She caught the asari’s eye and offered her a smile. Samara smiled serenely and moved down closer to Shepard when Shepard waved her over.

“Hello, Commander. I hope your day has been pleasant,” Samara said.

“It’s been interesting. I spent the morning getting my first tattoo. It hurt a little more than I expected, but I’ve had worse,” Shepard said turning on the bench so Samara could see.

“It is very vivid, but why is that bird on fire?” Samara asked.

Shepard turned back to the table and lifted her own mug of coffee to her lips before setting it back down in disappointment. She believed Grundan Krul truly had ruined her for any other coffee.

“It’s from human mythology, a symbolism of death and rebirth. It dies in flames only to be reborn from its ashes once more. Well, at least that’s one version. It seems to be the most popular,” Shepard said.

“I see,” Samara said.

Samara sipped her tea quietly; content to simply be sitting there. In other lives, her silence would have felt awkward to Shepard. She understood the ancient asari better now, and knew that companionable silence meant more to her than idle conversation. Garrus watched Shepard as she ate but didn’t say much either. If anyone on this ship was one to pick up on Shepard’s mood, it was Garrus. She could see the tension in his jaw as he watched her. She could tell that he was worried about her, and she wanted to try to reassure him but she knew that they would both know it was an empty gesture.

The mess began to fill as more and more people came for the mid-cycle meal. Samara quietly stood and said goodbye to Garrus and Shepard. Shepard soon found herself being pulled out of her funk as laughter filled the air. Kasumi was the first to materialize by Shepard’s side and comment on her new fashion statement. She was soon followed by Lia who seemed confused by the tattoo, and then Kolyat who told Shepard that it looked nice. Mordin noted the impressive level of symmetry. Grunt insisted that a thresher maw would have been more intimidating. Shepard smiled and thanked them as the compliments and questions came but she still was grateful when Kolyat, Lia, and Kasumi migrated to where Jack sat at the next table to ask her about the piece.  

They were still a couple of hours out so Shepard returned to her cabin to get some work done after lunch. She was lost in reports, returning messages, and plotting courses when EDI notified her an hour later that Thane was on his way to her cabin. Shepard gave EDI permission to allow Thane to enter and turned back to the laptop open in front of her. A minute later the door slid open behind her and she glanced over her shoulder.

“Give me just a second,” she said turning her attention back to the laptop.

Shepard finished the message to Anderson and double checked that the attached files were the right ones before hitting send. She was sending him the first of what would probably be dozens of messages as she worked her way through the Cerberus files. She was sending him the urgent information as she came across it, mostly information on Cerberus moles within the Alliance and other areas of importance. The rest she would deliver in person. Her message warned that the information provided may no longer be accurate and it should be assumed that the Illusive Man was aware that Shepard had obtained the information.

Shepard closed the laptop lid and turned her chair to face Thane who had occupied himself by watching Spike move around in his tank. Shepard figured that his interest was less in the snake and more to assure her that he wasn’t spying on whatever she was working on.

“What can I do for you, Thane?” Shepard asked.

He turned away from the terrarium and said, “I wanted to talk to you about Kahje before we arrive.”

Shepard stood and gestured to the stairs. It told Shepard a lot about the level of trust Thane was beginning to extend to her when he dipped his head and walked ahead of her instead of waiting for her to go down first. He did, however, wait for her to be seated before sitting down himself.

“I do not wish to appear ungrateful for what you are doing for my son by bringing him here, but I find that I am obligated to make a request,” Thane said.

“OK…,” Shepard said.

“The hanar are an exceptionally private people and I do not believe that it would be seen as acceptable if I were to return with a group of heavily armed strangers,” Thane said.

“Sure, I can see that. So you want to go down alone?” Shepard asked.

“I believe it would be for the best, if that is acceptable,” Thane said.

 _“Well that’s disappointing,”_ Jane said.

“Yeah, no, it’s not a problem. I mean, you’re not expecting any trouble down there, right?” Shepard asked.

Thane smiled and said, “No, I am not. I won’t be staying long, either. Breathing the air on Kahje was difficult for me ten years ago; I imagine it will be more so now.”

Shepard frowned and said, “I’m sorry. I’m sure this is a difficult enough trip for you without the added discomfort. I’ll have them get a shuttle ready for you. Have you given Joker what he needs?”

“I have, yes. Thank you, Shepard,” Thane said as he moved to the stairs.

“No problem,” Shepard said.

Thane stopped on the stairs and seemed to contemplate something before turning back to Shepard.

“I believe that I would be indulged in bringing one guest, perhaps if you were willing to leave your armor and weapons behind…,” Thane said.

Shepard grinned and said, “How about I leave the armor, most of the weapons, and promise not to start a fight?”

“Trouble seems to find you easily,” Thane commented.

“Hey, I said I wouldn’t _start_ a fight – and why else would I only agree to leave _most_ of my guns behind. I’ll keep something small; discreet. No one will know it’s there,” Shepard said.

Thane dipped his head and said, “Very well.”

 _“I finally get to see Kahje, please don’t blow the place up,”_ Jane said.

“I’m not going to blow the place up. Gods, no one has any faith in me,” Shepard thought. “I know how to play nice.”

Shepard watched as he left the cabin. She contemplated going to ask Dr. Chakwas if there was something she could put over the tattoo, she wanted to be able to wear a full shirt without it sticking. In the end she decided to just keep on the modified tank top. If Jack could run around the galaxy wearing nothing on her torso but a few leather straps, Shepard could handle going backless for a day.

She sat back down at her desk and looked over a few more reports until EDI told her they were twenty minutes out and had obtained clearance. Shepard decided on her M-5 Phalanx thinking the guns smoother edges would make it easier to conceal. She debated between an ankle holster and a waist holster before securing the stretchy black material around her waist. The chopped up tank top hung looser in the front having been cut so she decided it would do the trick. She stopped in the bathroom to look in the mirror to be sure before heading down to the hangar.

Shepard checked to make sure the shuttle was ready before having EDI send Thane and Kolyat down. Kolyat’s easy smile and laughter had vanished to be replaced with a somber mood as he climbed into the shuttle. Thane moved to the front of the shuttle to speak quietly with the pilot before sitting down next to his son.

“Is everything alright?” Shepard asked as she settled into the seat opposite them.

“My father has notified my uncle of my return. He will be meeting us when we land on Rising Tide,” Kolyat said.

Shepard glanced at Thane hoping for an explanation.

“The island we are from,” Thane said to Shepard before turning his attention to his son.

“Kolyat, Rone is your family. He cares about you and you left without telling your aunts and uncles anything,” Thane said. “They have been worried.”

“ _You_ left without telling _me_ anything,” Kolyat said.

Shepard winced but kept her mouth shut. Thane looked at the shuttle floor for a long time. When he spoke again, Shepard could hear the pain in his voice and she wished that she could comfort him. She wished she could comfort both of them.

“I made a mistake. I thought I was doing the right thing, what was best for you. I was wrong, Kolyat. I should have been there for you and for that I apologize. My mistakes are not the mistakes of your aunts and uncles; do not punish them,” Thane said.

“I… I’m sorry, Father. I just don’t understand why he needs to be there. I’m not a child, I don’t need an escort,” Kolyat said.

“He will not be there to escort you. He wishes to see you, to assure himself that you are indeed returned safe. You needn’t go with him if you do not wish to, but you should at least speak with him,” Thane said.

“Alright, fine. I’ll speak with him,” Kolyat said as he crossed his arms.

Shepard looked away from the young drell before he saw the smile tugging at her lips. As much as she could tell that Kolyat’s petulance annoyed his father, she found it amusing. It wasn’t long before Shepard could hear the steady patter of rain against the shuttle’s exterior telling her they had broken through Kahje’s atmosphere. Kolyat seemed to perk up at the sound, but Thane seemed to withdraw deeper into himself. The rest of the ride was spent in silence as they listened to the rain.

When the shuttle landed, Kolyat wasted no time throwing open the shuttle doors. The thick, muggy air felt like a solid wall as it hit Shepard in the face. She instantly felt the strain on her lungs and dreaded what it would do to Thane. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he grimaced and pushed the feeling aside. She climbed out of the shuttle behind Thane and closed the door behind her.

 _“He really shouldn’t be here. Don’t let him linger, even for Kolyat’s sake,”_ Jane said.

They stood just outside of giant domed building, its exterior composed of hundreds of thousands of triangular pieces, some of which were glass but most of which were something else. More domed buildings stood beside it and stretched out behind. Shepard wasn’t sure what the material was, she doubted they would use much in the way of metal being surrounded by ocean. Not far from where she stood, trees towered over her, the giant fronds casting shadows over the area and giving them some protection from the rain. Shepard could hear the ocean off to her left and knew that if the trees weren’t blocking her line of sight, she could see the water from where she stood. Dense vegetation hid the ground, making it appear impassable but as she watched hanar and drell picked their way through with practiced ease as they came and went from the shore.

Shepard stood out like a sore thumb among the exclusive population. She could feel people watching her from all directions as she let her eyes wander over the island; soaking in the simplistic beauty of the place. One hanar in particular seemed especially interested in Shepard’s presence and eventually came closer to speak to her while Thane and Kolyat scanned the area looking for Rone.

“This one remembers you, Commander Shepard. You helped this one on the Citadel, allowing this one to speak the truth of the Enkindlers to all who would listen,” the hanar said.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, I remember you. I’m sorry, I don’t know what to call you, though,” Shepard said.

“This one apologizes. It was rude for this one to not give you this one’s face name. You may call this one Zender,” the hanar said.

“Zender, thank you. So, have you moved away from the Citadel?” Shepard asked.

“This one was there when the geth attacked the Citadel. This one stayed for a while and helped as this one could. Then this one saw your vid warning of the reapers and heard the wisdom of your words. This one returned home to share your wisdom and to prepare for what is to come,” Zender said.

 _“I’ll be damned. I guess your video was a better idea than I thought,”_ Jane said.

“I see. Are… are the hanar preparing for the invasion?” Shepard asked.

“We have increased our planetary defenses and have begun gathering supplies. This one is afraid there is not much else to be done,” Zender said.

“I’m just happy to hear that you guys are taking steps. I think a lot of people weren’t as willing to hear the truth as you were,” Shepard said.

Zender turned slightly towards Thane. It took Shepard a moment to realize that Zender was using his bioluminescence to communicate with Thane in a manner that Shepard couldn’t understand. Kolyat was standing a little behind Shepard between her and his father so she leaned closer to him and whispered.

“What’s happening?” Shepard asked.

“He’s asking Father whether it would be rude to ask you about… oh,” Kolyat said.

“I do not believe she would mind,” Thane said.

Zender flashed out another message and Thane bowed in response.

“Of course, it pleases me to be of service,” Thane said.

Zender turned back to Shepard, bobbing gently in the air as he seemed to consider what he would say. Shepard felt a little tense; she really didn’t care for people talking about her when she couldn’t understand what was being said. The way Kolyat deflected at the last minute really made her uncomfortable. So, she smiled through her discomfort and waited the hanar out.

“This one heard terrible news of the destruction of the Normandy,” Zender said. “This one did not expect to ever see you on this one’s home world.”

The two statements seemed so unrelated at first that they gave Shepard pause. It took her a moment to process that this was the hanar equivalent of ‘I thought you were dead’. Shepard was really getting tired of hearing that. Jane seemed greatly amused by Shepard’s irritation.

“Oh. Oh, yes. I did die in that attack but some people found my body and were able to revive me. It took a long time and a lot of experimental tech but they got me back on my feet again,” Shepard said.

“This one is pleased to see that you are well and welcomes you to Kahje,” Zender said.

“Thank you, Zender. It’s a beautiful planet,” Shepard said.

“Father, there is Uncle Rone,” Kolyat said.

“Ah. We should go to him so that he does not need to come out into the rain,” Thane said.

“This one was pleased to see you again, Commander Shepard,” Zender said.

“It was good to see you, too,” Shepard said and waved at the hanar as he floated away.

Kolyat laughed at Shepard and she shrugged.

“I haven’t exactly spent a lot of time with hanar,” Shepard muttered.

“That’s obvious,” Kolyat said.

“Kolyat,” Thane said.

“What? I’m just saying that if Zender wasn’t use to other races he would have found her unbearably offensive,” Kolyat said.

“Kolyat, you are being rude to Shepard,” Thane said.

“Father, look at her, she’s smiling. She doesn’t care,” Kolyat said.

Thane glanced over his shoulder at Shepard to find that she was smiling and he shook his head in dismay. He led them into the nearest building and wove his way through the crowd. Shepard noticed immediately that the air was much drier inside and she marveled at how much easier she could breathe. The rain evaporated almost instantly from her skin.

Shepard looked around the building as they crossed the floor to Rone. The inside was not what she expected at all. Evenly spaced, intricately carved support columns spanned the entire ground level. A large staircase sat in the center of the room, aligned with the main doors. Mostly drell, but a few hanar as well milled about the open floorplan of the ground level. One area off to the side seemed to have been set up like an open market with tables and blankets laid out displaying goods for sell.

The stairs spiraled upwards and light trickled down from above. Once she was close enough, she could see that the stairs seemed to go on all the way to the top of the building. She could tell that they let out at each floor as drell moved off the stairs and on to balconies before disappearing from her sight. They came to a stop a few feet away from Rone. Shepard watched curiously as the drell took turns bowing to one another. She lingered a few feet behind Thane, wanting to give the drell room for their reunion but was soon ushered forward by Thane to be introduced.

“Rone, this is Commander Shepard. She was kind enough to bring us to Kahje,” Thane said.

“Hello,” Shepard said as she accepted Rone’s hand into her own.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Commander. I must thank you for brining my nephew home,” Rone said.

“It was my decision, Uncle. Father had already joined her crew anyway,” Kolyat said.

“Kolyat,” Thane and Rone said in unison.

Shepard had to stifle a laugh. Kolyat sighed and turned to Shepard.

“My apologies. Thank you, Commander Shepard, for you generosity and your hospitality. I am in your debt,” Kolyat said.

“It was a pleasure having you aboard, Kolyat,” Shepard said.

Kolyat bowed his head to Shepard before turning back to his uncle. Shepard took a few steps to the side to stare out the open windows at the trees in the distance while the others talked. After a few minutes, Shepard noticed that a group of drell women dressed in light flowing clothes that exposed much of their scales were inching their way closer to her. They were giggling to each other and looking in her direction unabashedly. She didn’t want to take the time to count heads, but she estimated there were about thirteen of them in total. Shepard stepped back closer to Thane hoping she didn’t just find trouble.

 _“I don’t think they’re armed,”_ Jane offered.

“Is that going to be a problem?” Shepard asked inclining her head towards the group of women. “Because I didn’t do anything, I swear.”

The three drell looked at the group of women eyeing Shepard and Kolyat started laughing. Shepard looked at him, and when he saw the confusion on her face he only laughed harder. She looked at Thane whose face was carefully and completely void of expression. Rone turned back to Shepard and was the first to talk.

“No, Commander, they will not be a problem,” Rone said.

Finally, Kolyat stopped laughing enough to add, “Father! You let her come to Kahje with her back exposed without telling her of the Unwed?”

“The Unwed?” Shepard asked.

“An unfortunate oversight,” Thane said.

 _“What’s going on?”_ Jane asked sounding as confused as Shepard felt.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at Thane and his lip twitched with the suppressed smile.

“What do you mean the Unwed? What am I missing?” Shepard asked.

Kolyat’s laughter picked up and Thane wasn’t saying anything else. Shepard looked to Rone hoping he might clarify.

“The Unwed are what we call young women who have either decided not to marry, or have simply yet to find someone they wish to be bound to, in particular we use that term to refer to those who chose to bask in their… ah, freedom and flaunt it for all to see,” Rone said.

 _“Good for them, what’s that got to do with us?”_ Jane asked.

“It’s your tattoo, Commander. Father let you walk in here with an open invitation for the Unwed to approach. You should go talk to them. They want to see your lover’s mark and hear about how good he is in bed,” Kolyat said. “Maybe you can put in a good word for me.”

“Kolyat,” Rone said.

“What, it’s the truth?! Plus she’s human so they’re probably really excited to talk to her,” Kolyat said.

“Kolyat, give the Commander your jacket,” Rone said.

Kolyat sighed and began to take off his jacket. Shepard held out a hand to stop him.

“That’s alright, Kolyat,” Shepard said.

She looked at Thane who was trying very hard to not look at her. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.

“An oversight my ass, Krios,” Shepard said.

His lip twitched again. Shepard sighed and started walking over to the group of women.

“Shepard, what are you doing?” Thane called after her.

“Exactly what’s expected of me,” Shepard threw back over her shoulder.

Kolyat’s laughter egged her on as she crossed the open floor to the group of young women. They all turned to face her with eager smiles as she approached. As she got closer she could see that many of them had tattoos themselves, their clothing strategically placed to show them off. Some looked as fresh as Shepard’s while others were faded and barely noticeable. The women moved in to meet Shepard, forming a circle around her. That made her nervous but she sucked it up and smiled.

“Hello, I’m Shepard,” she said.

“Show us, Shepard, let us see your lover’s mark,” a drell in front of her said.

Shepard grinned and turned in a slow circle so each woman could see her tattoo.

“It’s ah, not a lover’s mark. It’s just sentimental; a friend did it for me this morning. Humans don’t – we get tattoos for all sorts of reasons,” Shepard said.

Disappointed groans replaced the excited sounds coming from the drell moments before.

“But I do have a lover, and I will tell you about him if you’d like to hear,” Shepard said.

Shepard found herself being dragged off to sit on the floor next to the window by the women, surrounded by squeals of excitement. She felt the women’s hands move over her, touching her hair and her clothes as they went. The questions came so fast that Shepard had trouble tracking who had asked what and what had even been asked. Questions were asked about the phoenix, about her hair, about the color of her eyes and everything in between. Two of the women ran off to one of the market stands and came back with leather wineskins and began passing them around. When they had her settled in on the floor they quieted and watched her expectantly.

“His name is Garrus, he’s a turian I met a few years ago,” Shepard began.

“Your lover is a turian?” someone asked from behind Shepard.

“Oh how exciting,” another said.

“Have you been with an asari? I am told they make excellent lovers,” still another asked from behind her.

Shepard laughed and said, “Yes, he is turian and ohhhh yesss he is exciting. I have been with an asari, it is certainly one of the most fascinating experiences to have your minds joined in that moment of ecstasy.”

 _“Oh gods. I’m not listening to this,”_ Jane said.

Shepard accepted the wineskin when it was passed to her and took a small drink. It had a stronger citrus taste, was far sweeter, and less bitter than most of the human made wine she had tasted. Shepard took another drink before passing it on. A few seconds later she felt the familiar tingle of drell venom on her lips and tongue.

“I’ve never seen a turian out of their armor,” someone said.

“I have, I took one as a lover when the trade ships came last,” another said.

She was teal colored with yellow streaks along her jaw. She sat right next to Shepard running her fingers through Shepard’s ponytail. Shepard could see a tattoo of what looked like seaweed trailing over her shoulder.

“Lina! You never said, I think you’re making it up,” said a light brown and tan woman sitting across from Shepard.

“I’m not making it up, it just wasn’t something I wished to share. It was awkward and he didn’t even please me,” Lina said.

Shepard chuckled, drawing the attention of the group back to her.

Lina asked, “Does your turian please you?”

“Very much so,” Shepard said.

Shepard spent the next ten minutes providing them with enough detail about her time with Garrus that she was sure that even he would blush if he were there to hear her. Shepard continued to drink as the wine was passed around feeling herself slowly getting intoxicated between the venom and wine. After that they wanted to know about human men, so Shepard relayed a few stories of her one night stands while on shore leave before she was stationed on the Normandy. They wanted to hear about asari, so Shepard told them what she could, pulling from Jane’s memories with Liara and feeling her heartbreak as she spoke.

“Shepard? We have upset you?” Lina asked.

Shepard wiped at her eyes and said, “No, I was just reminded of someone I recently lost. She meant a lot to me, she was very important and I miss her dearly.”

Lina slipped her hand into Shepard’s palm and squeezed gently. Shepard smiled and squeezed her hand in return.

“He comes for you, is he your lover, too?” the one they called Fahara asked.

Shepard looked over her shoulder to see Thane walking towards the group. Kolyat and Rone were nowhere to be seen.

“Sadly, he is not,” Shepard said with a smirk.

The giggles that followed that remark were enough to slow Thane’s stride. Shepard laughed and stood up from the floor. The others rose to their feet with her. Shepard was volleyed around as each of the women took turns kissing her on the cheek and hugging her. Shepard returned the hugs and kisses with genuine affection. She stepped away from the group to meet Thane, turning back half way to wave at the women once more.

“They seem quite taken with you. You handled that far better than I expected, I am impressed,” Thane said when Shepard stopped in front of him.

“Did you really think I’d fold under a challenge that easily?” Shepard asked.

“It appears I was mistaken,” Thane said.

            The trickle of light filtering down from the staircase gave Thane’s face a strange halo. Shepard tilted her head back to follow the light upwards and swayed on her feet. Thane slipped a hand under her elbow to steady her and she looked back at him in surprise.

            “Shepard, are you well?” Thane asked.

            “It’s the wine going to my head, and maybe the venom, too. It’ll be gone before we’re back on the ship,” Shepard said.

            “Ah. I did not expect you to share drinks with them… or kiss them. I would have warned you that the females of my species produce stronger venom, particularly in their saliva. Do you need to sit down somewhere for a while. Perhaps drink some water?” Thane asked.

            Shepard smiled and said, “No, I’ll be alright. It’s already fading. It’s kind of nice not to feel the weight of the galaxy resting on my shoulders for a few minutes. Thank you for bringing me with you. It’s truly a beautiful place.”

            Thane looked around him and said, “Indeed.”

            “You sure you don’t want to do anything else while we’re here?” Shepard asked.

            “I am certain, Siha. Thank you,” Thane said.

            Shepard felt her face light up as she threaded her fingers together and rested her knuckles on her lips. Thane studied her expression with curiosity.

            “I didn’t think I’d get to hear you call me that this lifetime,” she said dropping her hands.

            “I have called you this before?” Thane asked with a hint of surprise.

            “Mmhmm. Though it means something more hearing it this time,” Shepard said.

            “Oh?” Thane asked.

            “It means that you’ve accepted me, no matter how different we are this time and that we’ll be alright,” Shepard said.

            They started moving again, a slow stroll; taking their time getting to the exit. Shepard slipped her arm though his as they walked and smiled when Thane adjusted his arm to better accommodate hers without losing stride.

            “How are you feeling?” Shepard asked suddenly stopping. “Is being here too much for your Kepral’s Syndrome?”

            “The buildings are designed to more closely mimic conditions on Rakhana, it is not so bad as long as I am inside. The less time I spend outdoors, the better,” Thane said.

            “I – I don’t want to leave yet. I’m not ready to get back to work. Can’t we stay for just a little longer? We can just stay in here,” Shepard said.

            “Shepard, I –,” Thane started to say.

            “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know! Answer all of your questions, I swear!” Shepard blurted out.

            Shepard regretted it the instant she said it but she wouldn’t go back on her word. A part of her hoped that Thane would insist on leaving right away but she knew that wasn’t going to happen when she saw the curiosity flood his eyes.

            “I believe there is a café on the next level,” Thane said.

            “That works. Just… be kind,” Shepard said as Thane led her back to the staircase.

            Thane smiled, making no promises as he took Shepard up the staircase to the next level. She looked back down over the balcony and felt herself sway again. Thane tightened his grip on her arm but said nothing. The design of the second level reminded Shepard of the old malls from Earth except most of the doors seemed to lead to private dwellings as opposed to specialty stores selling everything from cosmetics, to skycar accessories.

            Thane led her to several small tables pushed flush against the balcony and a little further away from the bulk of the crowd. Shepard took a seat and watched him as he walked inside the small café before returning with two steaming mugs. He sat one down in front of her before taking the chair across from her. Shepard picked up the mug and breathed in the rich aroma coming from the dark liquid before taking a sip. She thought it tasted like a mix of coffee, black tea, and hot cocoa. She made an appreciative sound and sat the mug back on the table wondering if she could convince him to make the drink back on the Normandy.

            Thane began by asking her about the incident in the med bay. It wasn’t the first question she expected, but it was as good of place as any to start. Shepard tried not to fidget as she struggled to find the words to explain what she felt in that moment, the way the emotions from Jane and the others overwhelmed and fueled her own anger. The way they tore down her ability to respond rationally and calmly. This lead to her explaining what it felt like for her to hear Jane and see Jane’s memories. What it was like to feel Jane’s emotions and how much of what Shepard felt and saw didn’t come directly from Jane but was filtered through Jane from the others.

            As the wine and venom wore away, Jane became more vocal, interjecting her opinion on everything Shepard said. She interpreted every expression or lack thereof from Thane and criticized Shepard for sharing so much information with the drell. Jane questioned Shepard’s willingness to trust Thane after his past behavior, and Shepard questioned Jane’s refusal to trust him over his cautiousness. He hadn’t actually harmed Shepard, even if he had threatened her but considering the circumstances she thought his reaction was reasonable. Even if it did take restraint on her part to not break his nose.  

            Thane asked her what she meant when she said Jane was trying to take over again, so she told him about the night on the Citadel when she saw Marcedus chasing Varcus out of C-Sec. Shepard watched him closely as she talked, but it seemed to her that the closer she watched him the more careful he was to not allow any expression to slip through. She feared what he might think, what anyone who knew about Jane might think if they knew that she could take over. Shepard didn’t know what Jane was really capable of in her state of mind. She told him that she did finally talk to Garrus about it, and that he took it better than she expected. Shepard hinted that she was curious as to what Thane thought, but he offered her nothing.

            When he finally spoke again, it was to ask her about the experience of being trapped inside of her own head while Jane controlled her body. Shepard found herself rubbing her own arms, trying to comfort herself as she did her best to detail the nightmarish event. She told him that most of the others sounded broken to her, like shattered pieces of the people they once were but that there were a few others that were louder, stronger, and bitter. She caught the faintest flicker of concern in his eyes when she told him that one of them said that he was going to take a turn next as if her body was a carnival ride or a stolen skycar that he could joyride. She wasn’t sure if he was concerned for her or for everyone else around her.

            After a while, Thane wasn’t even asking direct questions anymore but just listening to Shepard ramble. She realized that once she had started, it wasn’t so easy to stop. She told him about how she had almost lost Garrus by choosing to walk into death and making him promise not to intervene. How Liara and Ashley died because of that choice, and how important Liara was. Now that she was gone, Shepard had to figure out how to replace someone who was irreplaceable. She told him how Garrus had found her body and taken her to Cerberus when it would have been Liara, and speculated on how much that cost him to do. She debated aloud whether that was worse for him than getting in the escape pod and holding Joker down while Shepard stood there waiting for death.

            She found herself talking about how many things were different because of what choices she had made, even simple things like changing the conversations she had with people had altered other things. She told him that she wasn’t sure if any of it was going to do any good in the end, and she was terrified of waking up in someone else’s head with Jane and the others. She talked about how desperate she was to find another way to defeat the reapers that didn’t involve the Crucible because she felt sure that if she had to face the Intelligence again it would already be too late for her.

            He asked her about the ways that he was different from before, and Shepard hesitated. She realized she didn’t really know how to answer that, she searched her mind for descriptive phrases and found that none of them painted the right picture. She finally settled on telling him how tranquil he was, how he had accepted his fate and was prepared to die secure in the idea that he had done what he could to atone for his sins. How eager he had been to make sure Kolyat didn’t follow in his footsteps, and how much it meant to him to have the chance to make things right with his son. She told him that his sense of humor lacked the mischievous streak he seemed to develop since she came into his life this time. Shepard apologized for following him that day on the Citadel. She said it was foolish, not because he might have killed her but because it was a selfish act that altered his life.

            “Shepard, the path I am on is one that I have chosen. I am where I wish to be. I have little time left in my life and you have filled it with a purpose other than tracking down my target and executing them as efficiently as possible before moving on to the next,” Thane said.

            Shepard smiled and said, “Defending the galaxy from the collectors is a good purpose.”

“Yes, but that is only a part of what I mean,” Thane said.

“What else do you mean, then?” Shepard asked.

“At first you were a puzzle to unravel. The mystery possessed me for a time as I exhausted my ability to obtain every bit of information about you as I could, followed you at every opportunity. Then I received word that the Normandy had been destroyed and your body was never found. I was… disappointed. You were gone and the mystery remained unsolved,” Thane said.

“I suppose disappointed is better than relieved,” Shepard said.

            Thane smiled as he continued, “Then, two years later a contact of mine reaches out to me to tell me that there are rumors that a ship called the Normandy was seen and the person in charge was a woman calling herself Commander Shepard. I had to see for myself, I had to know if it was true and you had survived.”

            “Why didn’t you talk to me? You let me see you on the Citadel, let Garrus see you but then you just disappeared,” Shepard said.

            “It wasn’t time and I had much to learn about the people you were working for,” Thane said.

            “I’m sure learning I was with Cerberus did little to help my cause,” Shepard said.

            “It may have encouraged me to be a ‘paranoid pain in the ass’ as you put it, but it added to the mystery,” Thane said.

            He leaned towards her, the intensity in his eyes taking Shepard by surprise as he spoke.

            “Siha, you gave me something other than death, my own and that of others, to focus on. If I am different, if I am mischievous, it is because I am learning to enjoy the life that I have left,” Thane said.

            “I’m happy to hear that, Thane. What about now, how do you see me now?” Shepard asked.

            “Now, you remain every bit as mysterious but have given me even more reason to be grateful. You have returned my son to me. I believed for many years that there would be no one left to mourn me. It is selfish, I know, but it brings me comfort knowing that there are at least two people now that will miss me when I have gone to the sea,” Thane said as he sat back in his chair. “With you, perhaps far more than two.”

            “Yeah,” Shepard said as she stared down at her mug.

Thane softened his tone as he spoke, “I see the deeper emotion there, Shepard. The feelings you dance around and try to keep from your face when I’m around. Jane’s feelings or perhaps one of the others? I only hope that whoever I was before, I understood and appreciated the love they gave.”

            Shepard took her time responding, chewing on her lip and picking at the mug with her thumbnail.

            “Not Jane in particular. She loved Kaidan, but many of the others loved you. And believe it or not, you loved them, too,” Shepard said.

            “That’s hardly the least believable thing you’ve told me,” Thane said.

            Shepard chuckled and lifted a shoulder before she said, “Well, I know that you haven’t reached outside of your own species… and you haven’t loved anyone since Irikah. If it helps, they always had to make the first move on you. Most of the time it would happen after you’d refer to them as a friend. Then I’d – they’d say that was a start…”

            Thane leaned his elbows on the table and clasped his hands in front of his face as he listened. The memories flashed through Shepard’s mind as she spoke. She could feel Jane stirring restlessly in her mind. Shepard realized that Jane’s restlessness was her trying to combat the onslaught of emotions being thrown at her from the others.

            “A start?” Thane asked.

            Shepard blushed and marveled at the irony.

            “Yeah, that’s not too different from how you responded. You always left them hanging with a cryptic ‘A start? That’s… intriguing’,” Shepard said making air quotes. “You came around to the idea, though.”

            Thane sat back and laughed, his head tilted towards the ceiling. Shepard stared at him in amazement; she had never heard him laugh before. There was never anything more than the soft snickering she had grown used to in all of the memories. All movement from Jane ceased as all attention was riveted to the sound coming from Thane.

            “I finally get to hear you laugh, I mean truly, fully laugh and it’s at my expense. I’m too shocked to even be offended,” Shepard said.

            “Forgive me, Shepard. It’s just that I expected there to be something more… well, dramatic behind your reaction to such a simple word,” Thane said.

            “Oh there is. Because it was a start. And every time I look at you I’m reminded of exactly what followed. I know the sound of your voice whispering your love into my ear. I look at you and I remember what it feels like to be wrapped up in your arms. The feel your tongue in my mouth,” Shepard said.

            Sensations tugged at Shepard, threatening to overwhelm her senses and she gently pushed them a way. Thane’s laughter died down, he shifted in his chair, the smile on his face slowly falling. Shepard couldn’t tell for sure what he was thinking but she felt it was her turn to make him feel awkward and maybe be a little mischievous. She leaned forward and lowered her voice.

            “I look at you and I know exactly what your clothes hide and exactly how it would feel to drag my nails down your back. I know just where to touch, just what to do… just how you would sound when you allow yourself to let go. I know every inch of what I’m missing. So yeah, it feels a little more dramatic than just a simple word,” Shepard said before she pushed her chair away and stood up from the table. “I’m ready to go now.”

            She took three steps before he called to her. She took a deep breath and let it out slow, willing away the memories and her own reactions to them before turning around.

            “Shepard. Siha, please, sit down for just a moment longer. That was… callous of me. Allow me to apologize,” Thane said.

            Shepard brushed a few stray hairs away from her face and sat back down.

            “You don’t need to apologize. I think I made my point,” she said.

            “Quite. Shepard, I,” Thane said before hesitating. “I think I may have made an error in my evaluation of the situation. I must ask you…”

            “Is it just the burden of sharing my mind with the others?” Shepard offered.

            “Indeed. Shepard, I wouldn’t have made light of the situation if –,” Thane started to say.

            “It doesn’t matter either way, Thane. I’m with Garrus and you never were one to share,” Shepard said putting on the best smile she could muster. “We really should get going.”

            “I – yes, of course,” Thane said as he stood and pushed in his chair.

            They returned to the shuttle in uncomfortable silence. Shepard felt the last vestiges of that relaxed feeling slipping away as she stepped into the shuttle and settled into her seat. By the time they were back on the Normandy, her mind was refocused on how she was going to save the galaxy and save herself.

 


	25. Chapter 24: Collector Zombies

**Chapter 24: Collector Zombies**

            “You want to do what?!” Miranda screeched.

            _“You can’t be serious?!”_ Jane said.

            “Fuck that, you’re not putting that shit inside of me,” Jack said.

            “Mordin, are you sure this will work?” Jacob asked.

            “Cannot be completely certain without field test. Have already been implanted. Mild pain and itching at injection site; relieved easily with topical cream. No other adverse effects,” Mordin said.

            “Shepard, you haven’t said anything,” Garrus said.

            “You guys have to decide this for yourself. It’s not something I’m going to make any of you do, but anyone who doesn’t isn’t going. I’m not going to take that risk. I’m doing it, though, and I’ll pick my team from any other volunteers,” Shepard said.

            _“You can’t really be going to let him put more reaper tech in us!”_ Jane insisted.

            “Wait, Mordin, I need to be sure this won’t interfere with Shepard’s implants,” Miranda insisted.

            _“Gods, I didn’t even think about that! What if it short circuits something? Or, I don’t know, creates some sort of reaction between the two?”_ Jane asked.

            “Miranda, please. Am scientist; doctor. Have already taken that into consideration,” Mordin said holding up a glass vial with what looked an awful lot like a tiny silver bug inside of it about the size of a grain of rice. “Made especially for Shepard.”

            “See, Mordin has everything covered. Relax,” Shepard thought.

            _“And you say that I’m crazy. This. This is insane,”_ Jane said.

            Mordin slid the vial back into the rack and held up another, “For quarian and turian. Even prepared designs for Legion to incorporate.”

            “Alright, Mordin. Let’s do this,” Shepard said.

            _“Wait, let’s talk about this first. We need to think about this before we jump into this, Dawn. This is serious,”_ Jane said.

            “There’s not time, Jane. We’re almost to the collector ship,” Shepard thought.

            Mordin took out the small vial he indicated as being for Shepard and hummed to himself as he slid it into the implant gun. Shepard’s eyes widened when she saw the size of the needle he planned to use. Mordin waved Shepard over and turned her around.

            “Shepard, you can’t be serious?!” Miranda asked.

            “You have something better, Miranda? I’m all ears,” Shepard said.

            “I – no, I don’t but –,” Miranda said.

            “Didn’t think so,” Shepard said.

            _“Oh gods,”_ Jane said as her panic began to push against Shepard.

            Mordin ran an alcohol swab over Shepard’s skin at the base of her skull and neck. When she nodded that she was ready he pushed the needle in. Shepard grit her teeth and hissed, pressing her knuckles into the surface of the table in front of her. She heard a click and felt a rush of cold as Mordin pulled the trigger. He slid the needle back out of her and applied Medi-gel to the small wound before opening his scanner. Miranda came around to look at his omni-tool as he took his readings.

            “This is insane,” Miranda muttered.

            “No more insane than bringing a corpse back to life,” Shepard said.

            Shepard could feel the device moving under her skin, the whole area throbbed but she wasn’t sure if that was from the device moving itself to attach to her spine or from the needle. Mordin had dumbed down the explanation of the device the best he could but it was still beyond Shepard’s understanding. What she did catch, however, was that he had actually just implanted her with a device made from modified reaper tech and DNA taken from the collector mixed in with some tech of his own. He said – if she understood him anyway, that it would make the seekers think that she was a collector and could potentially confuse the collectors themselves, although he assumed they would adapt quickly enough. She just let him put a damn miniature reaper IFF inside of her, and she could only hope that it wasn’t any more risky than the reaper tech Miranda incorporated into her cybernetic implants.

            _“Oh gods, can you feel that? It’s moving, oh gods,”_ Jane said.

            “It’s supposed to do that, Jane. Calm down,” Shepard thought.

            “Spirits you’d better be right about this. I’m in,” Garrus said.

            “I will volunteer as well,” Thane said.

            _“What’s it doing?”_ Jane asked.

            “It’s doing what it’s supposed to, it’s attaching itself to my nervous system. Just relax,” Shepard thought.

            “If it is your wish, Shepard, I will allow the procedure,” Samara said.

            “I’m not going to make that call for you, Samara,” Shepard said.

            “Might as well, if this didn’t kill me I doubt that thing will,” Zaeed said pointing to his scarred up face.

            “I’m not so sure about this, Shepard. Maybe I can wait and see how things work out for everyone else?” Lia asked.

            “Sure, Lia. Like I said, I’m not forcing anyone to do this,” Shepard said.

            _“I don’t like this, get it out! Get it out!”_ Jane started to yell.

            “Jane, calm down,” Shepard thought.

            “I think I’m with Lia on that, Shep. If you guys don’t die or turn into collector zombies, then I’m in,” Kasumi said.

            _“Collector zombies? What like husks? Can that happen, is that going to happen?!”_ Jane screeched.

            “I’m in,” Jacob said.

            Grunt and Grundan Krul didn’t bother to vocalize their stance on the matter; instead they began forming a line next to Shepard to receive their implant. Mordin began loading the next cartridge and had Garrus sit down on a stool so he could better see and reach the softer spots at the base of the turian’s skull. Shepard watched as Mordin moved through the queue leaving only Jack, Miranda, Lia, and Kasumi without an implant. Legion agreed to review the designs Mordin created and finding them fitting, agreed to incorporate them into his platform before going to the collector ship even though Shepard didn’t really see the point.

            _“Dawn please! Get it out. Don’t leave this thing in me, oh gods, please get it out!”_ Jane said with a whimper.

            “Alright. Garrus, Samara, Thane, and Grunt you’re with me. We know this is a trap so Jacob, you’ll take a second team of two to secure our retreat,” Shepard said. “EDI, monitor our progress we might need you to help get us out and be prepared to grab whatever data you can.”

            “Yes ma’am,” Jacob said.

            “Of course, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Jane’s panic was rising as the device continued to burrow deeper and Shepard was having trouble pushing it aside. She didn’t stick around to see who Jacob would pick for his team; she wanted to get somewhere where she could be alone until Jane settled down. She left the tech labs and called the elevator, pushing the button for her cabin when it came. Shepard paced the elevator until it slid open again before rushing into her cabin.

            _“Do you feel that? I can feel it all over, what is it doing? Oh gods, what did he put in us? What’s it doing? What’s it doing? Get it out. Get it out. Get it out. Please, oh gods, is it growing? It’s growing! I can feel it, oh gods,”_ Jane continued her anxious ramble.

            “Jane, no, no it’s not growing. You need to settle down. Please,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard’s heart was pounding in her chest and her hands were shaking. She could feel sweat beading up on her forehead and palms.

            _“You can’t do this. Please don’t do this. You don’t know what it’s going to do to us. Oh gods, what if it turns us into a husk?”_ Jane said.

            “That’s… that’s not going to happen,” Shepard thought.

            “Shepard, biometric scans indicate you are experiencing high levels of distress. Are you having a negative reaction to Dr. Solus’ implant?” EDI asked.

            “No, no it’s not that. Jane is just having trouble… acclimating to the sensation. I’ll be fine, I just need a minute,” Shepard said absently.

            Her eyes scanned the room and locked onto her desk drawer. She cursed herself for not remembering to keep those damn vials on her like she said she would.

            _“No, this thing has to come out! Damn it, Dawn, get it out!”_ Jane insisted.

            Shepard moved to her desk and opened the drawer. She dug around inside until she spotted one of the small plastic containers of smelling salts that Dr. Chakwas had given her. Shepard screamed out in agony as pain lanced through her head. She saw double and the shaking in her hands increased. She reached for the vial and pain shot through her again, dropping her to her knees.

            “Shepard?” EDI said.

            Shepard screamed again and tears began spilling over her eyes. She reached blindly into the drawer and felt around, closing her trembling fingers on one of the vials.

            “Shepard, I’m sending help,” EDI said.

            The room began to tilt and Shepard felt herself falling, her head hit the floor with a thud.

            “Shepard? Commander Shepard?” EDI said.

            A moment later Jane pushed herself up on all fours.

            “I’m fine, EDI. I’m OK now. You don’t need to send anyone,” Jane said.

            “Are you sure, Shepard?” EDI asked.

            Jane pulled herself up to her feet and put the vial back in the drawer.

            _“No, no, no, no. Jane, come on, don’t do this. Please don’t do this,”_ Dawn said.

            “Completely sure, EDI,” Jane said.

            “Very well, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Jane walked into the bathroom and opened her makeup bag before upending it on the counter. Lipstick, mascara, eyeliner, and concealer came spilling out and rolled to the floor. The concealer shattered, leaving splashes of makeup all over the floor and toilet. She shook the bag and compact fell out along with a nail care kit. Jane grabbed the nail care kit and unzipped it. She pulled out the pair of cuticle scissors.

            _“Jane, no. What are you doing? Oh gods, you can’t cut it out!”_ Dawn yelled.

            **_Cut it out, cut it out, Jane’s going to cut it out!_**

 _“No, no, no,”_ Dawn said.

            Jane turned her head to the mirror as much as she could while pressing her fingers to the tender spot at the base of her skull.

            **_Is she going to cut us out too?_**

 _“Gods no, Jane, please don’t do this,”_ Dawn begged.

            **_Don’t be stupid, she can’t cut us out. We’re not even really here. None of this is real. None of you are real, this is all just a bad dream. Bad dream. Bad dream. Bad dream._**

            _“Shut the fuck up, all of you! Jane listen to me, this is insane. If it’s that important, just let go and I’ll go have Mordin take it out safely,”_ Dawn said.

            “Liar,” Jane thought.

            **_Bad dream. Bad dream. Bad dream._** It sounded like half the voices surrounding her had taken up the chant while the other half chanted something else. **_Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar._**

 _“No, I’m not lying. I’ll have Mordin take it out. But you have to let me back in, you have to let me do it or he’ll think something is wrong. Come on Jane, please!”_ Dawn insisted.

            Jane stabbed the scissors into her neck and growled through clenched teeth as she ripped them downwards, tearing more than cutting through her skin.

            _“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ow, holy shit, ow!”_ Dawn yelled.

            **_Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ow, holy shit, ow!_** One of the voices echoed monotonously.

            _“Jane, shit, please!”_ Dawn begged.

            **_Give it up, Dawn. She’s in control now. She isn’t ever going to let you back in if she can help it._**

            Jane dropped the bloody scissors into the sink and prodded the wound with her fingers. She bit her lip to keep from yelling as she pushed and shoved, trying to get the device to come back out of the new hole she made. It wasn’t working though.

            “Damn it,” Jane said.

            She pushed a finger into the hole to try to see if she could hook her finger around it and pull it out. White hot searing pain shot through her neck and head as she dug around but she refused to give up or relinquish control. She thought she heard the cabin door open so she stopped to listen.

            “Hello?” Jane said.

            “Shepard, you alright in there? EDI said she thought something might be wrong,” Garrus’ voice came through the bathroom door.

            _“Garrus! Garrus help me! Oh gods, he can’t hear me,”_ Dawn said.

            “Of course not, he can only hear me now,” Jane thought.

            “Oh, yeah, everything’s fine. I was having a little trouble with Jane but she’s fine now. I think the thing just freaked her out a little bit,” Jane said.

            She gripped the edge of the sink with one hand and prodded the wound with the other.

            “Shepard, I smell blood,” Garrus said.

            “I broke my makeup bottle and cut my hand cleaning it up, I’m fine, really, Garrus. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to use the restroom in peace. You should get ready to hit the collector ship, I’ll meet you guys in a few minutes,” Jane said forcing the calm into her voice.

            **_She’s going to screw him with your body, you know? She’s always regretted not screwing Garrus when she was alive. Best part is, he won’t even know the difference._**

 _“Fuck you. Just shut the fuck up. Jane, please for gods’ sake please let me out of here. We can work this out,”_ Dawn said as she tried to push her way out.

            “Why don’t you come out here and let me help you with your hand?” Garrus asked.

            “I got it, Garrus. Now go, I have to use the toilet and I don’t want you standing around out there while I go!” Jane said forcing out a chuckle.

            “Open the door, Jane,” Garrus said a threatening tone ripping through his sub-vocals.

            “I can’t do that, Garrus. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to get this thing out of my head,” Jane said.

            “Spirits, EDI, open the door!” Garrus growled.

            Jane drew her pistol and turned to the bathroom door as it slid open. She raised her gun and pointed it squarely at Garrus’ armored chest.

            “Garrus, stand down. I don’t want to shoot you,” Jane said.

            _“No! Jane, what are you doing?! Jane, that’s Garrus! It’s Garrus, you can’t shoot him!”_ Dawn yelled.

            **_Garrus? Jane’s going to shoot Garrus? Why would Jane shoot Garrus?_** The first panicked voice joined Dawn’s. **_There’s no Shepard without Vakarian. You go, I go._** Another voice said. **_Jane’s not going to shoot Garrus. The bitch isn’t that crazy._** Still another added. **_Garrus. Oh, Garrus. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to let you die. I didn’t know it was going to happen._** Still another said.

            _“What? No, no that can’t happen. Shut up, I don’t want to hear that. Jane! Jane put the gun down!”_ Dawn raged.

            “I know you don’t, Jane. We’ve been through a lot together, right? You and me, right from the start. We’ve always got each other’s backs,” Garrus said holding his hands up to show her he wasn’t armed.

            Jane smirked and shook her head while saying, “Don’t patronize me, Garrus. You don’t know me. _You_ have never known me. You’re not my Garrus anymore than I’m your Shepard.”

            “Aw, come on, Jane. Don’t be like that. Just put down the gun. Come out here and talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. I’m sure you’ve been dying to talk to me, right? Well, I can hear you now and I want to listen,” Garrus said.

            Jane’s aim wavered and she adjusted her grip on the gun.

            “She’s getting it all wrong, Garrus. She’s messing everything up; making it worse. I have to fix it. I can’t keep doing this. I have the chance to make things right now,” Jane said.

            “What’s Dawn messed up? Tell me about it, I’ll help you fix it,” Garrus said.

            _“What? Garrus, you can’t trust her she’s crazy!”_ Dawn said.

            “Shut up, Dawn! I’m not crazy,” Jane yelled and Garrus flinched.

            “Jane, hey, come on look at me. Talk to me, Jane,” Garrus said.

            “No. No, no, you don’t understand. I have to get this out,” Jane said.

            Jane reached behind her to prod at the wound again causing pain to shoot through her neck and head. She whimpered as she shoved a finger back into the wound, tearing open what her Cerberus upgrades and residual Medi-gel had already started working to repair. Garrus lunged forward and tried to knock the gun out of Jane’s hand. She was too fast though and she pulled the trigger. Garrus growled in pain.

            _“No!”_ Dawn yelled.

            “Shepard,” Thane’s voice came from behind Jane.

            She spun around with the gun up, a palm slammed into her wrist while the other swiped the gun from her hand with lightning speed. She threw a punch with her other hand but he wasn’t there for her fist to connect. She wasn’t able to track the movements as he wrapped her up and spun her around. One hand held Jane’s left wrist near her right shoulder. His other hand laced through her arm and rested against her neck. He flexed and Jane could feel darkness creeping in around the edges of her vision. She tried to slam her heel down on his instep but his foot wasn’t there. Thane danced her around the bathroom avoiding her attempts to strike for the precious few seconds she had to fight back.

            “I am sorry, Siha,” Thane whispered next to her ear as Jane went down.

            “Commander? Commander, can you hear me?” Dr. Chakwas said, her voice cutting through the fog.

            “Hmmm?” Shepard groaned.

            “She’s coming around,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            She’d shot Garrus.

            Shepard tried to bolt upright in the bed but found she couldn’t. She was restrained to the bed with straps at her wrists, ankles, waist, and across her chest. Her eyes bulged as she searched the room, taking in her surroundings. She was on the Normandy, in the med bay. Dr. Chakwas was standing to her right and Mordin to her left.

            “Garrus? Where’s Garrus?” Shepard said with a panic filled voice.

            “Calm down, Commander. Garrus is fine, I promise. We need to make sure that you’re fine, too. Do you remember what happened?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

            “Where is he? I need to see him!” Shepard insisted.

            “Shepard, he’s fine. Garrus is fine. Focus on yourself right now. Can you tell me your name?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

            Shepard pulled at the restraints and looked at Dr. Chakwas like she was insane.

            “For gods’ sake, where is Garrus? I shot him! I shot Garrus! Where is he?” Shepard yelled.

            “Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “Recommend sedation,” Mordin said.

            “Garrus!” Shepard yelled as loud as she could. “Garrus!”

            “EDI, please send Garrus in,” Dr. Chakwas said. “She doesn’t need sedation; she just needs to see that Garrus is alive.”

            “At once, doctor,” EDI said.

            Shepard started to calm down and stopped pulling at her restraints.

            “Commander?” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “What?” Shepard snapped.

            “Please identify yourself for me,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “For fucksake, doc, you think Jane can’t give you my name just as easily as I could? What would that prove?” Shepard asked.

            Dr. Chakwas looked at Mordin and the two of them walked to the far side of the med bay to stand by the door and whisper quietly to one another. A couple of minutes later the door slid open and Garrus walked inside.

            “Garrus,” Shepard said, her voice filled with reverence.

            He stopped to talk quietly with Dr. Chakwas before glancing back over at Shepard. His mandibles fluttered as he crossed the room. Tears began to well up in Shepard’s eyes. She tried to reach out to him, forgetting about the restraints. When her arm met the resistance she growled and pulled at them again.

            Garrus reached her bedside but Shepard couldn’t see him clearly through the tears in her eyes. She tried to blink them away but it didn’t help as new ones sprung up immediately. She couldn’t even reach her hand up to wipe them away but he could. Garrus’ thumb brushed across first one eye and then the other; bringing a shuddering sob from Shepard.

            “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

            He wiped her eyes again and when she opened them she saw the angry tear in the softer flesh of his neck, just under the back of his mandible where it connected to his face.

            “Oh gods, I shot you. Garrus, I’m so sorry,” Shepard said.

            “Dawn?” Garrus asked.

            “Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” Shepard said.

            “If you’re you, then you have nothing to apologize for,” Garrus said. “Besides, Jane’s a crap shot and it barely grazed me. Your bathroom door might not shut right anymore, though.”

            Shepard smiled and pushed against the restraints until he put his hand in hers.

“Listen, Shepard, Dr. Chakwas thinks that it’s best if you stay in here under observation for a while and Mordin agrees. Problem is, we’re sitting not too far out from that collector ship and if we don’t go in soon, they’re going to know we’re on to them,” Garrus said.

            “OK, I’m good. Tell the good doctors to let me out of this damn bed and we’ll go kick some collector ass,” Shepard said with a sniffle.

            “Shepard, no,” Garrus said as he reached out and pushed the hair out of her face. “I think you need to stay here. Let me take in a team, I’ll get us whatever intel that’s in there. Let me handle this one for you.”

            “No, I’m good, really. I can do this,” Shepard insisted.

            “Commander, he’s right,” Dr. Chakwas said as she moved back to Shepard’s side.

            Shepard looked between the doctor and Garrus before turning to Mordin. She found no give in his eyes either. Shepard let out a sigh.

            “Alright. Fine. Can you at least take these damn restraints off?” Shepard asked.

            “Commander, I –,” Dr. Chakwas began.

            “Take them off,” Garrus said.

            “I don’t think that’s wise. We aren’t certain if Dawn is in fact in control, and if she is, we can’t be sure that Jane won’t seize control again,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “Take the damn things off. Post a guard in here if you’re worried, but take the restraints off,” Garrus said.

            Mordin and Dr. Chakwas shared a look before Dr. Chakwas sighed and began removing the restraints. Mordin and Garrus helped and as soon as Shepard was free she sat up. Her head throbbed with the motion and pain tore through her neck. She tentatively reached back to feel the now mostly closed wound and cringed at the memory of Jane stabbing the small scissors into herself. The others watched her carefully until she pulled her hand away.

            “Did she get it out?” Shepard asked.

            “No, the device Mordin put in is still in and functioning as it should,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “Lucky. Scissors could have damaged it; would have to make new one. Takes time; lots of resources. Engaging work though; might make extras anyway,” Mordin said.

            Shepard lifted a corner of her mouth and said, “Let’s make sure they work, first. Garrus, make sure you take a biotic with you. If worse comes to worse, they can make a barrier to deflect some of the seekers. Oh, and you’ll need heavy weapons. Take something from my locker.”

            “Got it,” Garrus said.

            “OK but listen, when you get in there get as much info as you can. Things will be quiet until you reach the platform. EDI, you need to hear this, too,” Shepard said and waited for EDI’s hologram to pop up indicating she was actively listening.

            “Garrus you’re going to need to establish a bridge between the Normandy and that platform,” Shepard said. “EDI, you’re going to need to be prepared to fight off a system infiltration and download everything you can from that platform. Work with Legion if you need to and feel free to mess their systems up in the process, just so long as you get my crew out safe. Garrus, they’re going to be throwing a lot of heat at you while she does this and then fighting you tooth and nail on the way out.”

            “I got it, Shepard. Just get some rest and listen to the doctor. Please,” Garrus said.

            “I will. I promise. Be safe out there,” Shepard said.

            Garrus pressed his forehead to hers before giving her a quick kiss. She tried to tell herself it was just her imagination that his eyes looked a little colder again, a little more like they did when she found him on Omega. Garrus left the med bay and two minutes later Thane entered.

            “Garrus has asked that I stay here to handle… any situation that might arise. I told him that I will only if you consent to my presence,” Thane said.

            “Why not? You were able to take me down the first time. At least I don’t have a gun now,” Shepard said.

            “I’m sorry, Shepard. I tried to be as gentle as I could,” Thane said.

            Shepard stared at Thane for a long moment before blinking her eyes slowly.

            “Thane, if there is ever a time where you see that I have a gun pulled on one of my crew and am digging around in a hole that I cut in my own neck, you have my full permission to put me on my ass,” Shepard said.

            “Hmm, I might need you to hold her down for her next physical, too,” Dr. Chakwas said. “She always was a pain in the rear when it comes to caring for herself.”

            Thane chuckled and dipped his head at the doctor before pulling a chair over next to Shepard’s bed. Mordin ran another scan on the device before closing his omni-tool and smiling warmly at Shepard.

            “Will find way to stop this. For now, suggest trying anti-psychotic medication,” Mordin said holding up a hand. “Not saying Jane is psychosis, but worth a try. Must go now, need to monitor team for field test.”

            Mordin left, leaving Shepard alone with Dr. Chakwas and Thane for the time being. Shepard let out a sigh, blowing her bangs all over the place.

            “So what’s the plan, doc? How long’s my sentence?” Shepard asked.

            “A few hours, at least. Longer if you give me any gruff about it,” Dr. Chakwas said with a twinkle in her eyes. “How are you feeling, Commander?”

            “Like I stabbed myself in the head and then dug around in it for a while before shooting my boyfriend and being knocked out by an assassin. You know the usual,” Shepard said with a shrug.

            Dr. Chakwas snorted softly and shook her head.

            “At least you’re keeping your spirits up. I expect that will last at most twenty minutes. Then you’ll be throwing a fit about being bored,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “Hey now, I don’t throw fits. That’s not very nice, doc,” Shepard said.

            Dr. Chakwas snorted much louder and slapped Shepard playfully on the arm.

            “So, the smelling salts didn’t work this time?” Dr. Chakwas asked getting serious again.

            “Uhhh… I didn’t get the chance to try. I might have, uh, forgotten to keep them on me. It was too late by the time I was able to make it to my desk, she took me to my knees,” Shepard said sheepishly.

            “Commander, they can’t work if you don’t use them and you can’t use them if you don’t have them with you!” Dr. Chakwas scolded.

            “I know! I’m sorry, trust me after this I’ll carry twenty of the damn things on me,” Shepard said.

Just then the med bay door slid open and the sharp clacking of Miranda’s heels bounced off the walls. Shepard turned to the sound and cringed. She looked pissed.

            “Miranda, I already told you –,” Dr. Chakwas started to say.

            “I know what you said but I am just as much responsible for Shepard’s wellbeing as you are, and she is awake now and clearly she doesn’t need you to give consent for visitors,” Miranda said eyeing Thane sitting next to the bed.

            “It’s alright, doc. She can stay, it’s time I told her the truth anyway,” Shepard said.

            “Commander, are you sure that’s wise?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

            “Tell me the truth about what?” Miranda asked crossing her arms over her chest.

            Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and said, “Have a seat, Miranda.”

            Miranda looked expectantly at Thane. Thane looked to Shepard.

            “He stays, he’s on official guard duty,” Shepard said.

            “Who is he guarding you from?” Miranda asked.

            “From myself. Just, grab a chair. It’s complicated and will take a while,” Shepard said.

            Miranda pulled up a chair and sat, crossing her long legs and leaning an elbow over the back of the chair. Shepard chewed on her lip as she considered her words. She knew that inevitably, Miranda would learn the truth; she had just hoped to be able to tell her when she was ready and not while sitting in a hospital bed.

            “The things you heard… when you were working your magic to bring me back. The Prophecies of Shepard as you called them… I wasn’t completely honest with you about what they meant,” Shepard said.

            “I’m listening,” Miranda said.

            “Gods why is this always so awkward and complicated to explain?” Shepard asked rhetorically.

            “Because you’re making it awkward and complicated, Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said. “What Commander Shepard is trying to tell you is that the ‘prophecies’ that you witnessed were not necessarily the result of the prothean beacons. We have yet to fully understand precisely what is causing her experience, but from Shepard’s perspective, at the very least, she is living through the galaxies most interesting case of past life regression. It would seem, and there has been incredibly eerie evidence to support her claims, that Shepard has lived the same few years over and over again.”

            “Excuse me?” Miranda said as she cocked an eyebrow in confusion.

            “Shepard began experiencing unusual foreknowledge of people, conversations, events, and places on the old Normandy. She became plagued by these detailed memories of things that she couldn’t possibly know about and then, while joining minds with Dr. Liara T’Soni in an attempt to better understand the information given to her by the beacon, a discovery was made,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            Shepard closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. It was a sigh partly of relief that Dr. Chakwas was taking over the conversation, and partly heartache at the mention of Liara. Miranda was now turned in her chair, squarely facing Dr. Chakwas. Shepard got the distinct feeling that she had been demoted from Commander Shepard to Patient Shepard in the eyes of the two women for the time being. She glanced at Thane to see that he was watching her but listening to the two women as well.

            “What was the nature of this discovery?” Miranda asked.

            “Dr. T’Soni found what she described as a veil that she had to pass through to reach Shepard’s consciousness. She said she had never experienced anything like it, and thought that it might be the key to Shepard’s troubles. With Shepard’s consent, Dr. T’Soni joined minds with Shepard again and instead of going straight into Shepard’s mind attempted to explore this veil,” Dr. Chakwas said.

The doctor glanced at Shepard for confirmation and Shepard nodded. Miranda glanced her way as well, her brow knit together in confusion.

“I was not present so I cannot verify exactly what happened, but based on the accounts of both parties, Shepard began to exhibit distress and attempted to retreat from the joining claiming that she heard a voice screaming in her mind and that it hurt,” Dr. Chakwas continued. “Dr. T’Soni heard what she described as countless voices whispering just outside her range of hearing. She ended the joining when Shepard became even more distressed, but Shepard lost consciousness and was bleeding from the nose.”

“Dear God,” Miranda said.

“Dr. T’Soni acted swiftly, using the comm to call Joker for help. I got to her quickly enough to treat the severe inflammation and relieve the pressure in her skull before permanent damage could set in. Poor Dr. T’Soni was inconsolable until Shepard woke up again,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“Can we – can we maybe not talk about Liara so much,” Shepard spoke up.

Dr. Chakwas frowned and moved to stand next to Shepard. She patted Shepard on the shoulder and brushed her hair out of her face. Dr. Chakwas nodded her head.

“I’m sorry dear, I know you still miss her,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard did her best to smile and squeezed the doctor’s hand before she stepped away.

“When Shepard woke up, she eventually complained about a buzzing in her head. I had made a call to a colleague of mine, another asari named Dr. Tulina who specialized in human psychology and had her placed on the Normandy,” Dr. Chakwas said. “After reviewing Shepard’s records and Dr. T’Soni’s memories, she was in an agreement that whatever Shepard was experiencing it was not a mental illness. Shepard and Dr. Tulina spent some time together and with Dr. Tulina’s aid, Shepard was able to break through the noise and converse with the voice she was hearing.”

“And you were able to rule out the beacons as the explanation?” Miranda asked.

“Dr. Tulina seemed to believe that it wasn’t the beacons. She told me that whatever the veil was, it was a part of me but she didn’t think it came from me exactly,” Shepard offered. “To be fair, she didn’t have a better explanation and Mordin still seems to think it could have been caused by the beacons. His working theory is that they fried my brain and made me psychic.”

“That doesn’t sound like something Dr. Solus would say, Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard shrugged and said, “I’m paraphrasing.”

            “Unfortunately, I did not learn the extent of the situation until after the Normandy crashed and I received Shepard’s goodbye video. I’m not sure she told anyone the extent of things,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “Garrus. He knew everything. I just couldn’t tell everyone everything. I wasn’t ready,” Shepard said.

            “Of course. Garrus. She told her boyfriend but not her doctors,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            Shepard sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

            “What the voice – Jane – has explained to Shepard is that Jane, and the thousand or so others that are locked away in Shepard’s mind, _are_ Commander Shepard. Jane appears to be the… spokesperson for the group,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Miranda turned to look at Shepard with raised eyebrows. Shepard shrugged in response.

“Jane has been able to provide Shepard with every detail of the lives they lived from the moment they were called to serve on the Normandy, to the moment they died saving the galaxy from the reapers,” Dr. Chakwas said. “It appears that each time, the consciousness is… returned to the collective, in the next Shepard’s mind. Until our Commander, they were never heard. Now that they are able to be heard, they have convinced Shepard that she needs to change things to break this cycle.”

“Or she’ll join them,” Miranda all but whispered.

“Exactly,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“Why does no one ever believe me so easily?” Shepard asked.

“Because you’re not a respected doctor,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard huffed.

“If it weren’t for what I’ve already seen… I wouldn’t believe it, no offense, doctor. So the prophecies… the agonized screaming… that was Jane?” Miranda asked.

“Yep,” Shepard said. “Something happened while I was dying when the Normandy was attacked. Before that, I had to really try to hear her. But in those last few seconds before I lost consciousness, floating out into space and unable to breathe… the walls came crumbling down and there she was. I could hear her perfectly and she could feel everything that I was feeling. I lost consciousness – died – but she never did. Between that and suffering while you worked to put me back together again…”

“Jane has been unstable; psychologically damaged by the events,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“That’s putting it lightly,” Shepard said with a scoff. “She did just hijack my body and attempt to dig out Mordin’s device using a pair of cuticle scissors and my fingers. She fucking shot Garrus for gods’ sake. The bitch is crazy.”

Miranda stood and crossed the floor to pull Shepard forward. Shepard allowed the manhandling; Miranda was never good with the whole bedside manner thing. Miranda lifted Shepard’s hair out of the way and Shepard heard her hiss. Miranda opened her omni-tool and scanned the back of Shepard’s head looking for damage to the Cerberus implants. Satisfied that Jane hadn’t managed to damage anything other than Shepard herself, she closed the omni-tool and paced the floor.

“Dr. Chakwas, do you still have Shepard’s records from that time?” Miranda asked.

“I don’t have them here, of course. They would have been saved on Alliance servers. I can try putting in a request for them with Anderson. I’m afraid he might be the only one left associated with the Alliance willing to do me any favors,” Dr. Chakwas said. “I’ll need Commander Shepard’s permission, of course.”

“That’s fine. I can send Anderson a message, too, if you think it will help,” Shepard said.

“It might, he always has been rather fond of you,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“I – excuse me, I need to go back over my records. Please, send me what you do have on Shepard and let me know as soon as you get her old records. I might be able to help,” Miranda said as she turned and walked out of the med bay.

Dr. Chakwas returned to her desk and sat down at her laptop. Shepard leaned back against the bed, tilting her head to the side to avoid the tender mutilated mass that was her neck. She glanced at Thane and found that he was watching her with curiosity.

“You have more questions?” Shepard asked.

Thane smiled and said, “No, Siha. I am just surprised by your resilience.”

“Don’t be. Commander Shepard is the single most resilient person I have ever met. She’ll get through this, and put us all to shame in the process dare I say,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, doc. I hope to hell you’re right,” Shepard said.

“Of course I’m right,” Dr. Chakwas said turning back to her computer.

Shepard turned her attention back to Thane and asked, “How are you _not_ freaked out by what happened?”

Thane seemed to consider this for a moment before he responded, “She was acting out of fear and self-preservation. I have seen others do far worse for far less.”

“She would have shot you too, you know,” Shepard said.

“Indeed,” Thane said.

They watched each other in silence, the only sound the clacking of Dr. Chakwas keys over the keyboard.

“Thank you,” Shepard said.

“I should have acted quicker. Perhaps Garrus would not have been injured. I did not anticipate that he would move when he did,” Thane said.

Shepard spent the next few minutes talking with Thane about how they came to be in her cabin in the first place. Apparently, EDI had learned rather quickly once unshackled that there were appropriate times to lie. When Jane thought she had EDI convinced that everything was alright, EDI had secretly been informing Garrus that something was wrong. Thane was in the elevator with Garrus when they had the conversation and insisted on helping. Shepard made a mental note to thank EDI in private.

 _“I’m sorry, I tried to keep her away,”_ a voice whispered.

It was one of the masculine voices. She didn’t have a name to put to it; they’d never talked to her like this before. Not when she wasn’t trapped inside with them. Even the images she got about Jack a few days before were fuzzy and vague. This was different, he spoke to her and although it was distant, it was clear.

“What?” Shepard thought.

 _“Get it out! Get it out now!”_ Jane yelled.

“Fuck!” Shepard yelped.

 Pain ripped through her head and she pressed the heel of her hand against her eye socket. Shepard heard something big clatter to the floor. Dr. Chakwas rushed to her side and suddenly there was a terrible smell assaulting her nostrils. She reared back away from the scent, coughing and gagging. Thane stood next to the bed holding a vial of smelling salts next to her face.

 _“Get it out, get it the fuck out!”_ Jane yelled.

“Oh good, you kept one. At least someone remembered what they were for,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“I’m good, I’m good,” Shepard said.

She pushed at Thane’s hand, trying to get him to put the offending vial away. He resisted until Dr. Chakwas told him it was alright. Dr. Chakwas opened her scanner while Thane took a step back. He remained standing, ready to pounce if Shepard started lashing out at the doctor.

“A comparison of Shepard’s current brainwave activity to that of the activity that occurred in her cabin, I believe that Shepard is still in control,” EDI said.

 _“You said you would have him take it out. You lied, I knew you were lying,”_ Jane said.

“You shot Garrus!” Shepard thought.

“What do you mean?” Dr. Chakwas asked. “Was there a change in her brainwaves before?”

“Yes, Shepard experienced extreme vacillating brainwave activity moments before they stabilized back to a beta frequency, at which point Shepard resumed apparent normal activity with Jane in control,” EDI said. “I have also compared this to scans of Shepard the day she requested aid in the med bay and observed a similar phenomenon. I would need several more observations of this anomaly to be certain that there is in fact a correlation between the two events, but I suspect that they are connected.”

 _“I… I didn’t mean to… he lunged, and I… it needs to come out. I can still feel it, please, just take it out,”_ Jane said.

“I can’t even feel it anymore! You’re too worked up to see this straight. You could have killed us. You could have killed Garrus! Jane, you’re not OK, not anymore,” Shepard thought.

“EDI, you’re a genius! Thank you,” Dr. Chakwas said before turning to Thane. “Will you be alright with her? I need to go speak with Miranda.”

Dr. Chakwas didn’t wait for an answer before crossing the room to dig out a syringe and a bottle from a cabinet. She filled the syringe and put the cap back on before handing it to Thane on the way out.

“Tranquilizer. Thigh is best. Upper arm will work as well. EDI, keep monitoring her,” Dr. Chakwas said before the door slid closed behind her.

Shepard watched dumbfounded as the doctor rushed out before turning her attention to the syringe in Thane’s hand. Thane slid the syringe into his jacket before stepping away from Shepard’s bed to throw the used smelling salts in the trash. He stopped to set Dr. Chakwas’ desk chair upright again. Shepard’s eyes followed him but she wasn’t really seeing him. She felt dazed and confused by that one simple, barely heard statement. One of the others was learning how to get through to her… and he seemed to be trying to help her somehow.

Jane raged ineffectively in the back of Shepard’s mind. Shepard couldn’t be sure but she didn’t think Jane had the strength to take over again so soon. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around her legs. She tucked her face down between her chest and her knees and began gently rocking herself, taking in deep soothing breaths as she tried to block out Jane’s insane rambling.

After a moment she felt Thane’s hand rest lightly on her back. She lifted her head to look at him and he opened his mouth as if to speak but said nothing. A moment later he closed it again and lowered his eyes to the space between them. He moved a little closer to the bed, his thighs brushing up against the sheet. Shepard hoped she wasn’t wrong when she took that as an invitation and leaned into him. He slid his hand across her back to cup her shoulder, pulling her gently to guide her closer. Shepard let herself lean against the assassin’s chest as he tucked her in against him, grateful for the show of compassion and support. His body remained rigid for a few seconds longer and Shepard wondered if he was reminding himself how to relax with physical contact.

“What did you tell the others?” Shepard asked softly.

“We startled you while you were getting ready for the mission, you slipped and accidently discharged your sidearm. You were injured in the fall,” Thane said.

“Fantastic. Better they think I’m a jumpy klutz than the truth, I guess,” Shepard said. “You know if you want out, I won’t blame you. I can take you back to Illium… the Citadel, wherever you want to go.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t wish to be, Siha,” Thane said tightening his arm around her.

Shepard took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Thank you,” Shepard said. “You smell amazing, you know that? Now let go of me before I get spoiled for this.”

Shepard felt the rumble of Thane’s chuckle through his chest. She slowly made herself pull away from him as his arm slipped away from her. Thane retreated to the chair next to her bed and sat down to resume his unnerving scrutiny of her every movement; watching for any sign that she was not as she should be. The silence stretched on, the only sound Jane’s desperate pleas in Shepard’s mind until Shepard couldn’t take it any longer.

“EDI?” Shepard called out.

            “Yes, Shepard?” EDI said, her hologram springing to life.

            “Do you have anything on those in the field? Are the devices working?” Shepard asked.

            “It appears that they are, Shepard. Mr. Vakarian, and Mr. Grundan Krul have both sustained mild injuries and have activated their Medi-gel dispensers twice each. Mr. Grunt has sustained several mild injuries but has yet to activate his Medi-gel dispenser. Justicar Samara has sustained no injuries. The secondary team led by Mr. Taylor, consisting of Mr. Massani and Dr. Solus, have not engaged in combat so far,” EDI said.

            “Great, thanks EDI. Tell Grunt I said to use his damn Medi-gel,” Shepard said.

            “At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Dr. Chakwas returned and settled into her desk chair without any explanation as to what she and Miranda talked about. Shepard sat quietly for a while, but the restlessness was setting in. She opened her omni-tool and sorted through a few messages. She rattled off a quick request to Anderson that he send her medical records to Dr. Chakwas and then closed her omni-tool again. Shepard sighed and looked at Thane.

            “How long ago did I wake up?” Shepard asked quietly.

            Thane glanced at the clock and said, “You’ve been awake for about forty minutes.”

            “Thanks,” Shepard said. “Hey doc?”

            “Yes, Commander?” Dr. Chakwas said without turning around.

            “Do I really need to stay in here? I’m fine now, and I’m sure EDI will notify you if something changes,” Shepard said.

            “Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said with a warning tone.

            “Come on, doc. You’re killing me here,” Shepard said. “It’s not like I’m going to leave the ship.”

            “You’re whining, Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “But I waited forty minutes,” Shepard said.

            Dr. Chakwas sighed and pushed away from the desk. She glanced at the clock on her way over to Shepard’s bed. Dr. Chakwas opened her omni-tool and scanned Shepard again. Shepard watched her as she reviewed the results and then wordlessly walked to a cabinet. Dr. Chakwas returned with a small white box marked ammonium carbonate and shoved it at Shepard’s chest. Shepard opened the box to see it contained the vials of smelling salts. Thane reached into the box and palmed two of them, slipping them away with the syringe.

            “Take these with you and actually use them,” Dr. Chakwas said. “And I expect you to report back in with me nightly, starting tonight, until I give you further notice. If you notice anything – any sign that Jane might be about to do this again I want you to use one of those and come see me right away.”

            “I will, I promise,” Shepard said. “Assuming I’m in a position to come to you right away.”

            “Before you leave, I want to ask you a few questions about these experiences,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            Shepard groaned but spent the next twenty minutes giving Dr. Chakwas every detail she could remember. The doctor wanted to know more specifically what physical symptoms Shepard experienced just before losing control. She took notes on her omni-tool as Shepard described the pains that lanced through her head, the vertigo, feelings of disconnection, and feeling faint. When Shepard mentioned the intensity of the emotions she felt before the pain began, Dr. Chakwas prodded further asking Shepard about the nature and origins of the emotions.

            “Mordin did suggest anti-psychotic medications, perhaps he’s on to something there. I’m not sure if it would work well with your implants. They may cause you to metabolize the medication too swiftly, and most of these medications depend on reaching a particular level of saturation before the full effects can be seen,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “I really don’t think that’s necessary, doc. The side effects with those things could wind up getting me killed in the field quicker than struggling with Jane. I know she’s erratic, and this thing today definitely shows having her out isn’t a good idea but at least we know she doesn’t want me dead,” Shepard said.

            “If I may,” Thane said.

            Dr. Chakwas and Shepard both turned their attention to Thane. He’d been so quiet Shepard had almost forgotten he was there. He took a few steps closer to join them in the conversation.

            “Intense emotional responses to people and events appear to play a part in Jane’s ability to push herself on Shepard. Particularly fear and anger. I believe that regular, disciplined meditation exercises might help Shepard to curb some of those responses. I am willing to work with her so that she can master these exercises,” Thane said gesturing at Shepard. “Or perhaps if she would be more comfortable, I believe the Justicar would be able to guide her as well.”

“Samara doesn’t know, and I’m not sure I’m ready to share this with anyone else right now,” Shepard said. “I don’t know. Meditation really isn’t my thing. I really suck at it. I’ll uh, I’ll think about it though.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Commander. Dr. Tulina would have approved, and I’m certain she would have recommended meditation over medication,” Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard narrowed her eyes and asked, “Are you trying to manipulate me by bringing up Dr. Tulina?”

“That depends, is it working?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

“Oh that’s a new low for you, doc,” Shepard said.

“You leave me with little choice, Commander. I have to use what works with you. You have a big heart, you always have,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“Damn it. Yeah, OK. It’s working,” Shepard said.

An hour later, Shepard found herself flat on her back for the fifth time in thirty minutes. She was drenched in sweat and her muscles felt weak. Her hands trembled as she pushed sweat-plastered strands of hair off of her face. Her chest heaved as she sucked in air, trying to get more oxygen circulating through her body. She looked up at Thane standing above her and found herself annoyed that even with Kepral’s Syndrome, his breathing remained steady while she was a mess. Jane, however, had fallen blissfully silent. She pushed herself up off of the mat on the hangar floor and resumed an offensive stance.

            “Just tell me,” Shepard said between breaths, “What kicking my ass has to do with teaching me better meditation skills.”

            “I have barely touched you, Shepard. I believe you are kicking your own ass,” Thane said with a smirk.

            “Shepard, the collector ship is coming back online. I am guiding Mr. Vakarian’s team to the exit. They are experiencing heavy resistance,” EDI’s voice said over the hangar’s intercom.

            Shepard turned her attention to the intercom and Thane stepped in, grabbing her arm and turning his back into her as he rolled her over his body. Shepard’s back hit the mat again and she groaned.

            “You mustn’t allow yourself to become distracted,” Thane said.

            “Help me up, I’m done. We can’t be in here when the shuttles come back anyway,” Shepard said holding her hand out to Thane.

            Thane stepped forward, his hand reaching for hers when Shepard spun her hips and tried to sweep his legs out from under him. Just like every other time, he was already gone when her legs got there. He took a simple step to the side and closed his hand around her wrist stepping around her and forcing her onto her stomach. From there he maneuvered her to her knees, Shepard wasn’t sure how. He knelt behind her bracing her spine with one knee as his arm wrapped around her neck and his hands cradled her head.

            “I hate you,” Shepard said.

            Thane’s laughter echoed off the hangar walls. Shepard carefully tilted her head back to look at him. His hands followed the movement ready to react even as he laughed. He looked down at her and she smiled.

            “Are you finished?” Thane asked.

            “Yeah. I’m done. For now. Just know that one of these days it’s going to be your ass on the mat,” Shepard said.

            “I have no doubt, Siha,” Thane said as he released her and stepped away.

            Shepard pulled herself to her feet and accepted the towel he held out to her. She ran it over her face and neck before gently rubbing her hair. The mess she had made of the back of neck earlier in the morning was closed but still very tender. Dr. Chakwas had done an excellent job of smoothing out the knotted mass of skin so it would heal properly. She thought she could still feel the little silver bug Mordin put inside beneath her fingertips. She’d seen the blueprints and knew that once in place the device shot out microfilament threads to wrap around the spine and thread themselves through the spinal cord. If she were honest with herself, she was more than a little disturbed by it and didn’t really want it there either. She just wasn’t disturbed enough to try to cut it out herself. She wondered if it could actually be removed once this thing with the collectors was over with.

            Shepard ran the towel over her face again before wrapping it around her neck. She looked up to see Thane watching her and she raised an eyebrow in question. He smiled and turned away, making his way to the elevator. Shepard grabbed the ends of the towel and followed after him. He pushed the call button on the elevator and stepped inside when it opened. Shepard pushed the button for her cabin and he pushed the button for the third deck.

            “We will begin again in first thing in the morning,” Thane said.

            Shepard sighed and Thane cocked an eyebrow.

            “Can I at least snag some coffee first?” she asked.

            The elevator came to a stop and the door slid open.

            “Indeed, I think you will need it,” Thane said with a smirk as he stepped out.

            “One of these days, Krios!” Shepard hollered after him.

            Shepard could hear his laughter trailing back to her as the elevator slid closed again.         

“Shepard, the teams have made it safely to the shuttles,” EDI said.

            Shepard stepped out of the elevator and crossed over to her cabin.

            “Tell Joker that as soon as they’re onboard we need to hightail it out of here. See if you can get us to the Nubian Expanse or Rosetta Nebula from here,” Shepard said stripping off her sweaty clothes and turning on the shower.

            “Setting coordinates for the Nubian Expanse now, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard stepped into the shower and got soaped up and rinsed off as quickly as she could. She was dressed and back on the elevator five minutes later, taking it down to the CIC. Shepard jogged across the CIC floor and into the cockpit to watch as the shuttles returned to the Normandy.

            “Come on, come on, come on,” Shepard chanted under her breath.

            “There in, closing the hangar door now,” Joker said.

            Shepard leaned over Joker and pressed the comm button as she announced, “Hold on tight people, we’re getting the hell out of here.”

            “Shit they’re charging weapons,” Joker said as he began evasive maneuvers.

            “Engaging mass effect core, hang on Jeff,” EDI said.

            “Shit,” Joker said.

            Shepard grabbed on to the back of his seat as the ship shot forward. Her stomach sank to the floor when they just as suddenly dropped out of FTL to the sight of a giant relay looming so close Shepard was surprised they hadn’t crashed into it.

            “Preparing to enter the relay,” EDI said. “Selected destination: the Nubian Expanse.”

            The blue-white tendril of energy reached out and grabbed the Normandy, flinging it through space at dizzying speeds as Shepard white-knuckled the back of Joker’s chair. Joker whooped with excitement before he threw in an ‘ow’ for good measure. The Normandy slowed to a cruise once the receiving relay released them.

            “Nice. That was beautiful, EDI,” Joker said.

            “Thank you, Jeff,” EDI said.

            “Yeah, thank you, Jeff,” Shepard said.

            Joker shot Shepard a warning look and she winked at him.

            “Good work, the both of you. EDI, tell the teams to meet me in the comm room for the debrief,” Shepard said.

            “They’re on their way, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard left the cockpit and went through the tech labs to reach the comm room, casting a smug glance at their collector guest as she went. A few minutes later, the rest of the crew piled in covered in blood and bits of collector. Garrus gave her a look of frustration right away and she knew that they were going to have to talk after the debriefing.

            _“He hates me now,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard was amazed at the twinge of sympathy she felt at hearing the sorrow in Jane’s voice.       She listened as the two teams made their report, verifying for her exactly what she already knew. Shepard dismissed everyone but asked Garrus to stay while she had EDI establish the connection to the Illusive Man. The table dropped down and the comm ring lit up.

            “You want me to go in there with you?” Garrus asked.

            “Yeah, that OK? I figured you’re the one who led the mission… and maybe he’ll play nice with you there,” Shepard said.

            “This ought to be interesting,” Garrus said.

            He followed Shepard into the center of the comm ring and looked around as the holographic grid rose up around them. The Illusive Man sat in his power chair a few feet away from the comm. Garrus scoffed at the air of mystique the Illusive Man tried so hard for and Shepard grinned. The Illusive Man took a long drag from his cigarette and let the smoke out slowly.

            “Garrus Vakarian. I wasn’t expecting you,” the Illusive Man said.

            “Can’t say I was expecting you to be hiding in the shadows either, but here we are,” Garrus said.

            Shepard got the impression that Garrus’ response brought a smile to Jane’s face.

            “Anonymity is necessary for a man in my position. I would think Archangel would understand that,” the Illusive Man said.

            “I never hid in the shadows unless it was to line up a shot,” Garrus said.

            _“It’s a shame he can’t line up a shot on the Illusive Man right now,”_ Jane said.

            “Isn’t that the damn truth,” Shepard thought.

            “Yes, you developed quite the reputation on Omega. I must say I was impressed,” the Illusive Man said before taking another drag of his cigarette. “Why _are_ you here, Mr. Vakarian?”

            “I led the mission onto the collector vessel. I thought you might want a report,” Garrus said with a shrug.

            “Shepard, I’m surprised at you. Relinquishing command, even to your lover – and on such an important mission,” the Illusive Man said.

            “Shepard wasn’t feeling well,” Garrus said.

            “Cramps,” Shepard said with a shrug.

            A short bark of laughter filled Shepard’s mind. She couldn’t help but to think that it sounded more than a little like the laughter of someone walking the brink of sanity.

            The Illusive Man took another drag from his cigarette and swirled the ice around in his glass.

            “And did these cramps cause you to shoot Mr. Vakarian or was that Jane?” the Illusive Man said.

            A low growl started to rise up from Garrus and Jane stilled in Shepard’s mind.

            “They were bad cramps,” Shepard said.

            “I’ve been informed that you also spent over an hour in the med bay with a bleeding head wound,” the Illusive Man said.

            “I mean, really, really bad cramps,” Shepard said.

            Garrus chuffed and shifted his weight, leaning closer to Shepard.

            “Is this a joke to you, Shepard?” the Illusive Man asked.

            “Not at all, it just isn’t any of your damned business, now do you want Garrus’ report or not?” Shepard asked.

            “I had hoped that we would be able to put aside our differences and work together better than this, Shepard,” the Illusive Man said.

            _“Why is he trying to play nice now?”_ Jane asked.

            “I don’t know. It’s nothing more than a change in tactics. One form of manipulation didn’t work so he’s trying another. Let him try, it isn’t going to change anything about the way this ends,” Shepard thought.

            “I think we’re doing pretty well, all things considered,” Shepard said.

            The Illusive Man took a drink from his glass and flicked the ashes off of his cigarette, twirling the glowing ember around in the ash tray for a moment.

            “Give me your report, Mr. Vakarian,” he said.

            Shepard stood at parade rest as Garrus relayed the information that had been taken from the collector’s ship, including the confirmation that the ship was the same that took down the original Normandy and further evidence supporting Mordin’s claim that the collectors were modified protheans. The Illusive Man listened quietly as Garrus spoke. When Garrus was finished he turned his attention back to Shepard, dismissing Garrus’ presence from his notice completely.

            “You know what you need to do next, Shepard. I suggest you don’t rush into this until you’re ready – until your crew is ready. Just because you know what to expect doesn’t mean that you’re prepared to deal with it. In the meantime, I don’t think it’s too much to expect you to complete a few of the smaller requests I’ve sent you. The Normandy doesn’t fund itself, you know,” the Illusive Man said.

 _“Some of it is important… like saving David Archer,”_ Jane said.

            “Yeah. I’ll see what I can do,” Shepard said.

            She turned, Garrus on her heels to walk out of the comm ring but stopped to look back at the Illusive Man over her shoulder.

            “I’ll ask EDI to send you a full report on the collector ship,” she said.

            “Thank you, Shepard,” the Illusive Man said.

            Shepard stepped out of the comm and away from the glowing ring. Garrus laid a hand on her shoulder to stop her from leaving the comm room as the table rose back into place.

            “Why aren’t you in the med bay, Shepard?” Garrus asked.

            “The warden let me out early for good behavior,” Shepard said turning to face him.

            “Dawn, you said you would listen to the doctor,” Garrus said crossing his arms.

            Shepard frowned and said, “I did listen, Garrus. I stayed in there and let them run their scans while Thane watched me like a hawk. I even let Miranda in on the big secret so she could better help. Dr. Chakwas agreed to let me leave the med bay after EDI told her she can predict when Jane’s trying to take over.”

            “That’s not exactly what I said, Shepard,” EDI said, her hologram popping up behind Garrus.

            Shepard shrugged and said, “I’m paraphrasing.”

            “I don’t think you understand the definition of paraphrasing, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “What is Shepard failing to paraphrase, EDI?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard leaned against the wall while EDI conveyed the results of her scans and the observed fluctuations in Shepard’s brainwave activity. Shepard scoffed when EDI went the extra mile to inform Garrus of the terms of Dr. Chakwas conditional release. She groaned but didn’t stop her when EDI then took the liberty to tell Garrus that Shepard had already begun lessons with Thane and that from EDI’s observation, Shepard was a slow learner. Garrus turned back to her with a raised brow ridge, his mandibles flaring in amusement.

            “Oh, I’ve got to see this myself,” Garrus said.

            “Thanks a lot, EDI,” Shepard said.

            “You’re very welcome, Shepard,” said EDI.

            “That was sarcasm, EDI,” Shepard said.

            _“She knows,”_ Jane said.

            “I know,” said EDI.

           

 

           

           

           

           

           

 

 


	26. Chapter 25: Sick And Twisted People

**Chapter 25: Sick and Twisted People**

            Shepard leaned against the bulkhead with one ankle crossed over the other watching Jack. The biotic was stretched out on her small cot tucked away beneath engineering tossing a small pocketknife up into the air and then catching it again before it could embed itself in her face.

            “What’s up, Alliance? Looking for more ink already? I’m telling you once you get that first one, it’s hard to stop,” Jack said flinging the knife up again.

            Shepard waited for her to catch it before she said, “Not just yet. We’re about forty minutes out from Pragia. You ready for this?”

            There was a slight pause, a break in Jack’s steady rhythm before she threw the knife again. Two tosses later Jack finally spoke, her voice sounded a little hoarse to Shepard’s ears.

            “No shit?” Jack asked.

            “No shit. Meet at the shuttles in twenty?” Shepard asked.

            “We’re going to blow the place up, right?” Jack asked.

            Shepard moved to the cot and snatched the knife out of the air before it could spiral back down towards Jack. Jack looked up at her, anger flashed brief in her eyes before wariness settled into place. Shepard closed the knife against her hip before pulling a detonator out of her pocket and dangling it above Jack’s face. Shepard waited for Jack’s eyes to lock on to the detonator and the slow smile to spread across her face before dropping the detonator. Jack caught it with the same practiced ease as she had the knife. Shepard tossed the closed pocketknife on the cot next to Jack’s hip and walked away.

            “See you in twenty, Jack,” Shepard said over her shoulder as she walked up the stairs.

            “Fuck yeah!” Jack yelled back.

            Shepard geared up and made her way to the hangar. She asked EDI along the way to block any signals leaving the Teltin facility that weren’t from her or the team. She didn’t want to run the risk of the Illusive Man still being able to listen in. Garrus was already leaning against one of the shuttles checking his thermal clips. Jack wasn’t down there yet, but Shepard knew she would be soon enough. Shepard felt bad about asking him to go out again so soon after the collector ship, but he insisted he was up for it. She wondered if he was really up for it, or just so against the idea of her going down without him after the Jane incident that he was pushing himself.

            Jack arrived, a grin on her face. She carried the detonator in her hand, flipping the lid open and closed again.

            “Please tell me that’s not real,” Garrus said.

            “Oh it is, but the bomb isn’t live yet so we’re safe,” Shepard said.

            Garrus pulled the shuttle door open and they all climbed inside. Jack was antsy on the ride down, shaking her legs in her seat and looking out the window every few seconds. She was quiet this time, she didn’t share any doubts about going back as she had with Jane. Garrus’ attention shifted between Shepard and Jack as he watched them both with wary eyes.

            “I’m fine, Garrus,” Shepard said.

            _“Tell him I’m sorry,”_ Jane said.

            “Now’s not the time,” Shepard thought.

            She reached over and took his hand in hers giving it a little squeeze. He returned the gentle pressure and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand only letting her go when the shuttle landed. Unsurprisingly, Jack was the first out of the shuttle. Shepard drew her pistol and activated her Incendiary ammo.

            “Thought this place was shut down?” Jack asked.

            “Just looking out for the local wildlife. Look at this place, it’s a damn jungle,” Shepard said.

            _“Yeah, those wild Blood Pack are dangerous,”_ Jane said.

            “Varren, too. Right?” Shepard thought.

            _“Varren, too,”_ Jane said.

            “Yeah,” Jack turned to look out over the mass of tangled greenery that had claimed most of the facility, “that’s why they put the landing pad up here.”

            Garrus looked at Shepard and she mouthed the words ‘Blood Pack’. He nodded and got his assault rifle out. Jack took out her pistol and headed for the stairs leading down from the roof. Shepard smiled; pleased with herself over how much more confident Jack seemed coming back to her own personal hell.

            _“She does … You’re doing good with her,”_ Jane said.

            “Uh, thanks,” Shepard thought.

            “Any place in specific you want to put this thing, Jack?” Garrus asked.

            “Yeah. My old cell. Right in the middle of the facility. Blow the whole fucking place sky high,” Jack said.

            “Hey how about when we’re done here we raid Shepard’s liquor cabinet?” Garrus said.

            “Knew there was a reason I liked you,” Jack said.

            “And here I was thinking it was just because I look so damn good in my armor,” Garrus said.

            Shepard snorted and said, “You look much better out of it. Alright Jack, lead the way.”

            _“He hates me now,”_ Jane said.

            “Maybe. You shot him. We haven’t really had a chance to talk about it,” Shepard thought.

            Jack led them down the stairs and across a walkway before going down a ramp and into the facility. She paused to look around the area. It was empty aside from crates and large shipping containers. Jack strolled over to look at the shipping containers and put her hand on one.

            “Can you believe they brought the new kids here in these? Like fucking cattle,” Jack said. “Covered in their own shit and piss, half starved to death. Sometimes by the time they got here, they were already dead.”

            “Shepard, I do not understand why they would transport living people in shipping containers not designed to support human life,” EDI said, her voice coming in through Shepard’s comm.

            “What they were doing was highly illegal, EDI, a form of human trafficking and so they used a method that was cheap and wouldn’t be under as much scrutiny. Less of a risk of being caught,” Shepard said.

            “If they had a vested interest in these children, as cattle as Ms. Jack has suggested, wouldn’t they take measures to protect their interests?” EDI asked.

            _“Because Cerberus is run by sick and twisted people,”_ Jane said.

            “They… they saw the other children as disposable. If a few didn’t make it, it was no real loss to them. They thought that they could always get more,” Shepard said choking on the words.

            “Have I upset you, Shepard? Your blood pressure has increased and you are breathing more rapidly,” EDI asked.

            “No, EDI, you haven’t upset me. The people who did this have,” Shepard said.

            “I am sorry that this has happened, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “Jack’s the one who needs to hear it,” Shepard said.

            “Hear what?” Jack said, looking over her shoulder.

            Jack turned her head to the right and seemed to be listening to something from the ornate earpiece she wore.

            “Yeah,” Jack spoke softly, “thanks, EDI.”

            Shepard waited for Jack to take the lead, she wanted her to have as much control as she could while in this place. She thought Jack needed it and it was a small sacrifice to make on her part. She knew there was trouble ahead, and when it came, she’d be back in front of Jack leading her in the fight, but for now Jack was in charge. When she was ready, Jack crossed the room and opened the next door.

            Shepard stood to the side and watched as Jack listened to the recording that played on loop, the hologram damaged and barely visible. The man in the recording spoke about hiding things from the Illusive Man but Shepard didn’t believe they’d hidden anything nearly as well as they thought they had. She didn’t believe for a second that the Illusive Man didn’t always know exactly what was going on at the Teltin facility, and he let it happen secure in his ability to claim that he wasn’t informed. Jack didn’t seem to believe it one bit either. Shepard stopped the recording after it played through a couple of times and looked at Jack.

            “You want me to have EDI pull anything from this place?” Shepard asked.

            Jack hesitated before shaking her head.

            “I know what went on here, I don’t need it. I’m going to blow this place up and none of it will matter anymore,” Jack said.

            _“If only that were true,”_ Jane said.

            “Alright. Let’s keep moving then,” Shepard said.

            Shepard and Garrus followed Jack further into the facility. Jack spoke about her escape as they moved through the area, but it didn’t seem to trouble her as much as Jane remembered. She didn’t bat an eye when the varren charged, sweeping them away with a Shockwave before opening fire. Jack stopped to listen to a recording at a terminal of a security guard requesting permission to terminate the other subjects. They had gotten lose and the security guard was afraid Jack would get loose. She shook her head in disbelief when the security guard was given the response that all others were expendable except Jack. Shepard decided it was time to tell Jack what she knew.

            “There’s a reason why they called you Subject _Zero_ , Jack. _You_ were the point of this facility,” Shepard said.

            “Bullshit,” Jack said.

            “It’s the truth, Jack. Everything they did to you, they did to the other kids first. They used them as guinea pigs to perfect their methods for you. That’s why so many of them died. Why they kept brining in new ones. Why it seemed like others were leaving while you stayed,” Shepard said. “Jack, it’s why they kept you away from the other kids except when it came time to test you. See how strong you were getting by making you fight the other children.”

            “No. No that’s bullshit, Shepard. They did all kinds of things to me. They tortured me for days. Pumped me full of drugs and kept me locked up in that room. The other kids, they hated me, they all hated me. I got the worst of it, every time. You don’t fucking know, you weren’t here, Shepard,” Jack said, her voice rising and her biotics flaring up around her as she paced and shook her head.

            _“Careful, Dawn. You’re pushing too hard,”_ Jane said.

            “No, she can handle this. She may not want to hear it, but she can handle it,” Shepard thought.

            “You’re right, Jack. The kids did hate you,” Shepard said.

Jack stopped pacing and looked at Shepard.

“Because they knew that the shit they were enduring was all for you. They knew that they were being experimented on so that you only got the shit that made you stronger and none of the shit that killed them” Shepard said.

 _“You don’t know that, she barely came to terms with this figuring it out on her own,”_ Jane said.

Jack licked her lips and shook her head. She was still fighting it, still denying the truth Shepard was speaking.

“These people wanted you strong, Jack. They wanted you to be the most powerful human biotic alive. They wanted to push you, they used psychological torture to shape and mold you, to trigger more powerful biotic reactions.” Shepard’s voice rose as she spoke, trying to cut through Jack’s denial. “They used drugs to reward you for attacking, and punished you when you didn’t.”

Jack stopped shaking her head and looked off into the distance as Shepard spoke. Her biotics continued to lick and jump around her skin. Shepard could see the glassy look to her eyes as the terrible memories threatened to drag her back. Garrus put a hand on Shepard’s shoulder but she wasn’t done. She needed Jack to hear the truth before Shepard made her one more promise.

“The worst part of it all, Jack? They didn’t really give two shits if it was you or someone else that they were doing this to, you just were unlucky enough to show the most potential. They wanted to turn you into a weapon, and they hoped to be able to repeat the process with others. And it worked,” she said.

 _“That isn’t helping,”_ Jane warned.

Jack turned to stare into Shepard’s eyes. Shepard could see the rage like a fire burning in Jack’s soul. Shepard was walking a fine line on the trust she had built with Jack already. She was taking a huge gamble and she knew it. She continued with a softer tone now that she had Jack’s full attention.

“Look at you, Jack. You are the most powerful human biotic and you’re still filled with so much rage you’ll rip anything apart that gets in your way. They made a weapon alright; they were just too stupid to realize that they never broke you in the process,” Shepard said. “You weren’t _their_ weapon and that as soon as you had your chance you’d be the weapon that ended them. They’re dead and you’re still alive.”

“Not all of them. The Illusive Man is still alive,” Jack said.

 _“Tell her. Tell her now. She needs to hear it now or you’re going to lose her,”_ Jane said.

“Shh. I am. I’ve got this,” Shepard thought.

A slow smile spread across Shepard’s face.

“Not for long, Jack. Not for long. And when I go to his little hideout to put a bullet between his eyes, I’m taking you with me. I promise,” Shepard said.

            “Shit, Shepard. You’re serious?” Jack asked.

            “I’m serious. But let’s not go advertising that to the other’s just yet,” Shepard said.

            “Shit, right, of course. But what about EDI? I mean, isn’t she listening to everything you’re saying?” Jack asked, her biotics dying down.

            “I trust EDI, she won’t say a word to him about this,” Shepard said.

            “How can you be so sure?” Jack asked.

            “Let’s just say you aren’t the only person I broke out of prison,” Shepard said.

            Jane chuckled, her amusement seeping in around the edges of Shepard’s consciousness.

            “What?” Jack asked.

            “Shepard had Legion remove EDI’s shackles,” Garrus said.

            “No shit?! So, what, there’s nothing stopping her from taking over the ship and killing us all?” Jack asked.

            “Just her lack of desire to do so,” Shepard said with a grin.

            “Damn. Remind me to stay on EDI’s good side,” Jack said.

            “I can set daily, weekly, or monthly reminders for you, Ms. Jack. Would you like for me to do so?” EDI’s voice broke through the comms.

            “Uh, no. I –,” Jack started to say.

            “That was a joke,” EDI said.

            Garrus chuckled and Shepard laughed at the look on Jack’s face. She patted Jack on the arm.

            “Should probably get use to that. Her personality is developing more fully now without the shackles and she spends most of her time with Joker,” Shepard said. “Most of the crew don’t know about her yet, so we’d appreciate it if you didn’t spread that one around either.”

            Jack grinned and said, “Yeah. Sure. Now are we going to set this fucking bomb or what?”

            Shepard stepped aside and waved her arm out at the door. Jack led them through the door and down a set of stairs only to stop when she saw the dead varren lying on the next landing.

            “Someone’s here, Shepard. It’s got to be Cerberus, who else would come to this hellhole? They knew we were coming,” Jack said.

            “I’m finding no indication of Cerberus activity in this area, Ms. Jack,” EDI said.

            “It’s probably just scavengers looking for salvage,” Garrus said.

            “Yeah. Maybe,” Jack said. “Can you stop with that ‘Ms.’ crap, EDI?”

            “Absolutely, Jack,” EDI said.

            Shepard tightened the gap between herself and Jack as they moved down the next flight of stairs and to the next door. When Jack opened the door, Shepard signaled for her and Garrus to move into the morgue under cover before going in. She moved first to the partition wall before going down the steps and ducking behind the crates in the middle of the floor. The Blood Pack’s krogan and vorcha spotted her and started moving in on her position right away. Shepard provided covering fire until her team was in position and she could pick her targets. Jack and Garrus moved in to cover her flank, Jack throwing out a Shockwave as she went to knock the vorcha pyros back. Jack took care of the vorcha, using a Pull to lift them into the air and shooting out their tanks to watch them explode. Garrus and Shepard focused on the krogan before helping Jack with the horde of vorcha.

            “Shit. I didn’t know this room was a morgue. I just wanted out. Damn, I fucking hate this place,” Jack said.

            They moved on, stopping to fight more vorcha and varren along the way. Jack recounted memories as they moved from room to room. Her words weren’t the same from Jane’s memories but the sentiment was. Garrus’ mandibles lay tight against his face as he peered into the small cells where the children were kept. He growled quietly when Jack came to the realization that the hours she spent banging on the glass and yelling at the other children were completely wasted efforts. The children hadn’t been ignoring her; they couldn’t see or hear her behind the two-way mirror. Jack stopped to activate a console before cutting it back off again with an angry push of the button.

            “This doesn’t make sense. None of this shit is how I remember it,” Jack said.

            “Jack, half of their experiments relied on keeping you isolated and in the dark to get you riled up. You couldn’t have known what they were really up to,” Garrus said.

            “You know, Jack … accepting that these other kids went through their own hell doesn’t diminish what you went through and survived,” Shepard said. “And … regretting your part in things, even what you didn’t know … and fighting through them to escape with your life … those are understandable feelings. It still doesn’t make you responsible for what happened here.”

            “I don’t regret shit, Shepard. Those kids attacked me. Everyone attacked me. I did what I had to, to get the hell out of here,” Jack said.

            “Yeah, I bet they did. They were taught to be terrified of you,” Shepard said.

            _“Why can’t you just leave it alone?”_ Jane asked.

            “Why the fuck are you taking their side?” Jack asked.

            “I’m being straight with you. They were innocent kids in all of this, too. You should be able to see that now, Jack. I’m not saying it wasn’t fucked up; the entire thing was fucked up but be pissed at the adults who did this shit to _all_ of you. It’s alright to be angry _for_ the kids instead of _at_ them,” Shepard said.

            “Because maybe you never did enough,” Shepard thought.

            “Whatever, let’s just get this over with,” Jack said as she walked past the next console and through the door.

            A krogan stood at the far end of the room surrounded by his lackeys. He tapped his earpiece when Shepard and her team walked in and talked to someone named Aresh on the other end about credits and salvage. He came to some sort of agreement and said he’d take Shepard and her team out.

            “Huh, look at that. I was right. I should have gotten one of you to put money on it,” Garrus said.

            Shepard raised an eyebrow at him and he fluttered his mandibles.

            “Is that … is he wearing armor with _pink_ highlights?” Jack asked. “Now I really want to shoot him.”

            “I’m not stopping you,” Shepard said.

            Jack grinned and raised her pistol, firing off a shot at the krogan leader before diving for cover. Shepard kept her attention focused on the krogan leader, Kureck, while Garrus and Jack worked to keep the other krogans and vorcha pyros from closing in. Garrus saw that she was struggling to get through Kureck’s barrier and shields to actually do damage and threw an Overload at Kureck when his barrier was down, taking out the shields and opening him up to Shepard’s fire. Jack spotted a vorcha moving in on Shepard’s flank and used a Pull to lift the vorcha in the air before filling it full of holes. Shepard grinned to herself knowing the biotic was watching her back.

            When the room was clear, Shepard stood from cover and cracked her neck. Jack said the only room left was her cell. Shepard nodded and let Jack lead the way through the door and down the hall to her cell. Aresh hid next to Jack’s old beat up bed but showed himself when Shepard called him out.

            “My name is Aresh, and you’re breaking into my home. I know you, Subject Zero,” Aresh said as Jack pointed her pistol at him. “So many years have passed, and I thought I was the only survivor.”

            “Don’t call me that. My name is Jack.” She rubbed her hand over her scalp and shook her head. “You’re one of them, aren’t you? One of the other kids.”

            “Of course you don’t recognize me. But I know your face, Jack. We all knew your face. We knew that everything that was happening to us was because of you. So their precious Subject Zero didn’t die,” Aresh said.

            “I said my name is Jack!” She yelled and raised her gun a little higher. “I didn’t know, OK? How was I supposed to fucking know? I didn’t ask for any of this shit!”

            _“She’s confused and doubting herself now. How was this good for her?”_ Jane asked.

            “You knew, and you hated us. They told us that you laughed when they told you. And when they put you in the pit, you attacked us. I saw you, Jack, I saw you killing everyone you came across during the riot,” Aresh said. “It was beautiful.”

            “They attacked me!” Jack said, her biotics flaring around her, dancing and licking at her skin. “What the fuck are you even doing here?”

            “I’m looking for answers. I’m rebuilding the place so I can figure out what they learned. I’m going to make another one like you, Jack,” Aresh said.

            “Like hell you are!” Jack flung raw biotic energy at Aresh, knocking him to his knees.

            “Jack,” Shepard said.

            She stood over Aresh, her pistol pointed at his back. “What, Shepard? You heard him. He’s reopening the Teltin facility. He’s going to do this shit to other kids!”

            “He wasn’t as strong as you, Jack. This place destroyed his mind; he’s sick and needs help. He’s never going to reopen this facility or any place like it,” Shepard said.

            Jack grabbed her head and rubbed her face in her palm. “What do I do, Shepard? What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

            “Let him go, Jack, and hope that he’s still sane enough to get out of here before we blow the facility up,” Shepard said.

            _“We both know he’s not going to make it. He isn’t going to leave this place,”_ Jane said.

            “And we both know that’s not the point,” Shepard thought.

            Jack looked up, her eyes moving between Shepard and Garrus. She grit her teeth and shook her head, looking back down at Aresh. Jack growled and shoved Aresh with her boot.

            “Go, get the fuck out of here before I change my mind. And you better run fast, dumbass, because I’m not waiting to make sure you’re gone before I blow this bitch up,” Jack said.

            Aresh pulled himself to his feet and scrambled out of the door. Jack put her pistol away and raked both hands over her scalp, pacing back and forth before stopping to look at Shepard.

            “Damn it, Shepard.” Jack shook her head. “Give me a few minutes to look around. I need – this place was my whole fucking childhood.”

            “Take your time, we’re not going anywhere,” Shepard said.

            Shepard walked around the room with Jack, listening quietly as she talked about the different objects and what they meant to her. Shepard’s heart was barely holding it together.  She could feel the heartache and anger coming from Jane and the others, too. There was so much pain and suffering, so much loneliness and loss here for Jack. Coming back here, everything she learned and everything Shepard had said just ripped the old wounds wide open again. Shepard just hoped that she was able to reframe things in Jack’s mind enough to help the biotic put at least some of the bad of this place behind her. Shepard knew it would never be truly gone, not all the way.

            _“How could it be?”_ Jane said.

            When Jack was ready, they radioed the shuttle and the bomb was brought in. Up until this point, it had remained covered in the shuttle. Shepard hadn’t even bothered to look at it until it was set in the middle of Jack’s cell and the tarp pulled off. Her eyebrows shot up and she looked at Jack in confusion. Jack seemed just as surprised by what she saw. Someone had painted a picture on the bomb of biotic blue flames consuming a Cerberus logo. In the flames were shapes that Shepard eventually recognized as being representations of some of Jack’s more prominent tattoos, the skeleton hand compass cross from her chest, the strange barcode from her head, and the skull from her shoulder.  Shepard heard Garrus chuckle and turned to look at him.

            “You did this?” Shepard asked.

            “I had some time to kill while she was giving you your tattoo. Thought I might make it a little more memorable for Jack,” he said.

            Jack turned to look at Garrus and a slow grin crossed her lips. “It’s perfect, fucking beautiful. Thanks.”

            Garrus lifted a shoulder and fluttered his mandibles. “Hey, I’m just glad you like it and aren’t knocking shooting at me for getting something wrong.”

            Jack opened her omni-tool and took a picture of the bomb. She crouched down next to it and stroked her hand over the blue flames.

Shepard opened her omni-tool. “Smile for me, Jack.”

Jack looked up at Shepard, her expression changing from confusion to a grin. “Shepard.”

“Come on, just one pic. No one else ever has to see it if you don’t want them to,” Shepard said.

“Nah, fuck that. You’d better frame that shit and put it on your nightstand,” Jack said.

“Deal.” Shepard snapped a picture.

 _“She doesn’t even know how beautiful she is.”_ The masculine voice, one of the other Shepards that had been starting to make himself known spoke up.

“Who are you?” Shepard thought, but the voice was gone.

 _“What?”_ Jane asked.

“Nothing,” Shepard thought.

Garrus squatted down next to Jack. “I’m arming it, so do me a favor and be careful with that detonator. I’m too pretty to die in this place.”

Jack stood up and stepped back to stand next to Shepard as they watched Garrus arm the bomb. When he was done they made their way back out of the facility, keeping their eyes open for Aresh or any Blood Pack survivors. The place was deserted; Aresh had taken the warning to heart. Shepard really hoped that he found a way to come to terms with his past, too, and got some help.

Jack held the detonator tight in her fist as they piled back into the shuttle and took off. A few minutes out, Jack started to flip the lid of the detonator opened and closed just like she always had in Jane’s memories. Shepard watched her closely, gauging how much further they could get before Jack grew impatient. When Jack left the lid open and let her thumb hover over the button, she looked up at Shepard with questioning eyes. Shepard knew it was time. She banged on the shuttle wall, urging the pilot on and smiled at Jack. Jack hit the button and a second later the shuttle was rocked by the waves. In the distance, a mushroom cloud billowed up. Jack pulled herself back into her seat and fixed her eyes on that cloud out in the distance until it couldn’t be seen anymore. She was silent the rest of the ride back to the Normandy, and Shepard left her to her thoughts.

When the pressure in the Normandy had equalized, they opened the shuttle door. Jack hopped out and turned back to Garrus and Shepard.

“Liquor cabinet?” Jack asked.

“You bet,” Garrus said.

Shepard winked at Jack and said, “Fuck yeah.”

Jack grinned and headed for the elevator. “Cool.”

Garrus slipped an arm over Shepard’s shoulder as they followed Jack. Once the elevator stopped, Jack strolled out and right into Shepard’s cabin heading straight for the liquor cabinet like she owned the place. Shepard shook her head and chuckled. Garrus helped Shepard out of her armor while Jack pulled out bottles of alcohol and brought them over to the coffee table. Shepard turned on some music and turned it up just loud enough to fill the room but still quiet enough that they wouldn’t have to yell to hear one another.

An hour later and Jack had changed the music to something rowdier and was dancing in the middle of the floor.

“Come dance with me, Alliance,” Jack said.

“Oh no. Trust me, Jack, no one wants to see that,” Shepard said.

“Fuck that, come on.” Jack said grabbing Shepard’s hands and dragging her out into the room.

“Aright, alright. I warned you.” Shepard began to move, swaying her hips gently and stepping her feet from side to side, her arms bent at the elbows moved in small circles.

Jack threw her head back in laughter. “OK, OK, stop. Here, just – come here.”

Jack put her hands on Shepard’s hips and pulled her closer to her. Shepard’s eyebrows rose in shock but she laughed and let the biotic press her body against Shepard’s, using her hands to guide Shepard’s hips. Shepard could feel the heat rising through her body between the alcohol and Jack’s incredibly intimate dance instructions. She glanced at Garrus, he was sitting on the couch with his feet up on the table and his arms stretched out to either side on the back of the couch. He watched her with fluttering mandibles and she could see him rolling the scents that were in the air around on his tongue.

Shepard looked away from him and focused her attention over Jack’s shoulder. When the song stopped, she started to pull away but Jack grabbed her and pressed her lips to Shepard’s. Shepard froze, wide eyed. She put her palms on Jack’s shoulders and gently pushed her away.

 _“Whoa …”_ Jane said.

“Jack … what are you doing?” Shepard asked.

“Come on, Alliance. I know you want me. It’s OK.” Jack pulled Shepard close again and ran her hands up Shepard’s sides before brushing a thumb across Shepard’s breast. “I know how to make you feel good.”

“No, Jack, wait.” Shepard grabbed Jack’s hands and held them. “ _Why_ are you doing this?”

Jack pulled her hands away. “Fuck Shepard, why do I need a reason? What you want Garrus in on it too? I can handle that.”

“You need a reason because you’ve made it clear you weren’t interested, Jack. I feel like … I feel like you’re trying to say thank your or something and you think that this is the way to do that,” Shepard said.

“So what if it is? I thought it would make you happy. I don’t get you, Alliance. You want me so what’s the problem?” Tears were starting to well up in Jack’s eyes.

 _“Oh, Jack,”_ Jane said.

Garrus dropped his feet from the table and leaned forward. His mandibles moving slowly opened and closed as he assessed the situation.

“Jack, I would never want you to do this if it wasn’t something that you wanted for yourself. So unless you can honestly tell me that you’re turned on and you _want_ _me_ , too … this isn’t what I want,” Shepard said.

“Look, just never mind. Forget I said anything,” Jack said as the first tears threatened to spill down her cheeks.

“Come here,” Shepard said, moving to the bed.

“What?” Jack hesitated.

“Just come here and lay down,” Shepard said.

Jack stared at Shepard in disbelief for a minute. Shepard didn’t think she was going to do it, but something shifted in her eyes and she crawled onto the bed. Shepard had a feeling that the alcohol in Jack’s system was weakening her desire to push people away. She hoped she didn’t regret it tomorrow, but knew she’d regret having sex with Shepard even more. Jack lay on her back with her fingers laced over her stomach. Shepard sat down on the bed next to Jack, pausing to see if she would run away. When she didn’t, Shepard lay down next to her and scooted closer until her chest was just barely touching Jack’s side. She wrapped her arm gently over Jack’s stomach and tucked her hand in under Jack’s side. She was afraid that if she wrapped her arm over Jack’s arms, that it might feel too much like being restrained.

Jack tensed up the moment Shepard touched her but she didn’t pull away and she didn’t tell Shepard to stop. Shepard held her loosely, doing her best to not make Jack feel for a second that she wasn’t in control.

“Let yourself know for once in your life, Jack, what it feels like to be held in the arms of someone who actually cares about you without it having to mean anything else,” Shepard said.

“This is weird, Shepard,” Jack said.

 _“Just a little …”_ Jane said.

“You can get up whenever you want, Jack,” Shepard said.

Jack didn’t move. After a couple of minutes, Shepard felt the biotic’s body begin to relax. A minute later, Shepard felt Jack’s body shudder in a silent sob as Jack rolled to her side, putting her back to Shepard. Shepard took a gamble and began to slowly use her thumb to caress the bare skin beneath her hand. Garrus moved into Shepard’s view on the other side of the bed from Jack. He looked at them both with worry and confusion in his eyes. Shepard smiled reassuringly at him. He lifted a hand towards the clasps on his armor and hesitated, looking at Shepard for guidance. Shepard nodded her head. Garrus began to undo his armor, sliding the breastplate away. Jack stirred, her body starting to tense again.

 _“She’s crying?”_ Jane asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” Shepard thought.

 _“I hope you know what you’re doing,”_ Jane said.

“He’s just taking his armor off, Jack. That’s it, his clothes are staying on. It’s his way of showing you that he trusts you. He’s making himself vulnerable for you.” Shepard paused to let that sink in while Garrus continued to remove his armor. “Is it alright if he lies down with us?”

After a few seconds, Jack nodded her voice was hoarse when she whispered, “Yeah.”

Garrus sat down on the other side of the bed without saying a word. He adjusted the pillows and lay back against them. Shepard watched over Jack’s shoulder as Garrus draped one arm over Jack’s head and held his hand out inviting her to come closer. Jack inched her way closer to Garrus. It took her a minute to find a comfortable position to get settled in against his plated chest. Shepard scooted closer to keep contact with Jack and Garrus brought his hand down to cup the top of Shepard’s head.

Jack stretched her arm out and let it flop down over Garrus’ chest. “This is so fucking weird. You guys are like … some fucking backwards, gun loving, hippies or some shit.”

Shepard laughed and Garrus began to hum contentedly. They lay there in silence for a few minutes before Jack spoke again.

“You know … I think Cerberus murdered my parents,” Jack said. “I can’t even really remember their faces anymore.”

Shepard didn’t say anything; she didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to offer Jack some simple platitude. Instead, she resumed her gentle caressing.

“Do you remember their names?” Garrus turned his head to look down at her. “I still have contacts at C-Sec … hmmm, I might be able to find something on them for you.”

Jack shook her head. “We were on Eden Prime, I know that. And I know I was born in twenty-one-sixty-one.”

 _“I didn’t know she was from Eden Prime,”_ Jane said.

“I can talk to Anderson, if you want,” Shepard said.

Jack shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter anymore. What about you? What’s the story with your parents?”

Shepard’s hand stopped moving against Jack’s skin. Jack tilted her head in Shepard’s direction but Shepard didn’t think she could see her. Shepard cleared her throat and started caressing Jack absently again.

She cleared her throat softly. “They were killed when I was sixteen. I’m from Mindoir and it’s one of the places that was hit hard by batarian slavers. They fought like hell to keep them from me. Died saving me.”

“Shit, Shepard. I shouldn’t have asked,” Jack said.

“It’s alright. It might sound harsh, but they’re better off dead than living as slaves,” Shepard said. “Do you remember when we went to Gellix?”

“Yeah, sure. I came up here afterwards,” Jack said.

“We went there because I had gotten a message from a woman named Talitha and tracked her to that location. She was the one I was trying to get out of there. I met Talitha back on the Citadel a few years ago. She was from Mindoir, and had been taken by the slavers. Years,” Shepard said. “She was with them for so many years. She escaped but was so broken, so lost, that she couldn’t grasp that she was really free.”

Shepard’s hand stopped moving again as she thought about Talitha. “She had a gun and they called me in to talk her down … the horrors she lived though. Anyway, come to find out Cerberus got their hands on her. They were using her damaged psyche as a way to study indoctrination. They had her all wired up with shit. She was getting visions of the reapers … I tried to save her, to get her the fuck out of there but they flipped some kind of kill switch and something they had in her just fried her brain. We were so close to being out of there and she died right next to me. Wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it.”

 _“At least you tried,”_ Jane said.

“Fuck,” Jack said.

“Yeah,” Shepard whispered.

“Hmmm. Aren’t you two just the life of the party,” Garrus said.

Shepard snorted. “Tell us a story, Garrus. Cheer us up.”

“A story?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah,” Jack said.

Garrus told them stories about some of the cases he worked in C-Sec and some of the real idiots he’d arrested. Shepard fell asleep to the sound of his voice with her arm wrapped around Jack. Her dreams were filled of memories of time spent with Jack as a man’s voice whispered to her.

 _“Thank you. Thank you for taking care of Jack. She needs this. She needs you,”_ he said.

Shepard woke the next morning to EDI’s voice. Garrus was still asleep beside her but Jack was gone. Shepard sat up in the bed and looked around the room, but didn’t see Jack anywhere.

“What was that, EDI?” Shepard asked.

“I said Mr. Krios would like to know when you will be joining him in the hangar,” EDI repeated.

“Shit. Crap, I forgot about that. This is going to suck so bad.” Shepard climbed out of bed, the movement waking Garrus.

“Hey, where you going?” Garrus asked, his voice thick with sleep.

“Thane’s waiting for me in the hangar,” Shepard said stripping off her clothes.

“Where’s Jack?” Garrus asked.

“EDI, tell Thane I’ll be down in fifteen minutes,” Shepard said. “I don’t know, she was gone when I woke up. I’m guessing she’s back downstairs. I’ve got to hop in the shower and get down there.”

Shepard rushed to the shower and was back out five minutes later running a brush through her hair. She got dressed and kissed Garrus on the mandible before rushing out the door. She took the elevator down to the third deck and had Gardner pour her some coffee in a thermos. He handed it to her along with a muffin, Shepard shoved the top of it in her mouth and grabbed the thermos, waving goodbye with her other hand. She went straight back to the elevator and pushed the call button, eating the muffin as she waited. When the door opened, Garrus was inside. She stepped out of the way to let him pass but he crossed his arms and flared his mandibles.

“Oh no, I’m going with you to watch this,” Garrus said.

Shepard groaned and stepped into the elevator with him, pushing the button to take them down to the hangar. When she stepped out of the elevator again, Thane was waiting patiently with his hands behind his back. Shepard shoved the last of the muffin into her mouth and washed it down with the terrible coffee.

“Sorry, I had a late night,” Shepard said.

Thane smiled indulgently at Shepard before turning his attention to the turian standing behind her. “Garrus. Will you be joining us?”

“I’m just here for the show,” Garrus said.

“I swear to gods, Garrus, I hear anything that even sounds like a laugh out of you I’m dragging you out on that mat myself,” Shepard said.

 _“If he doesn’t just tear into Thane for touching you,”_ Jane said.

“He’s not going to do that, they’re fine now,” Shepard thought.

“Yes, ma’am,” Garrus said with a mock salute.

“Asshole.” Shepard handed him the thermos. “Hold my coffee.”

He clacked his mandibles against his jaw, took her thermos, and smacked her on the ass. “Good luck.”

Shepard snorted and followed Thane out to the mat. Garrus followed behind them and leaned against some crates off to the side. Thane started out by taking her through a series of stretches to loosen her up. Though not painful, the positions felt foreign and unwelcome by her body, but she did her best to mimic his movements.

When they were finished, Thane stood in the middle of the mat and told Shepard to attack. Shepard fell into an offensive stance and eyed the drell standing as passively as if they were having a simple conversation. She knew better than to be fooled into thinking he wasn’t ready for her. Shepard circled around him, trying to get him on the move but he stayed rooted to that spot. She knew he’d anticipate an attack from behind as easily as if she made her move from the front.

“This is so not fair,” Shepard grumbled.

 _“I could take him, if you let me out,”_ Jane said.

“Not happening,” Shepard thought.

Thane’s lips twitched in amusement. Shepard moved forward and took a low swing, aiming for his solar plexus. Thane’s hand darted out to knock away her punch. He reversed his hand, wrapping it around Shepard’s wrist and started to spin her. Shepard ducked down under her own arm letting it cross in front of her and kicked out at Thane’s shins. He stepped to the side and hooked his ankle behind the one leg she still had on the ground, pulling it out from under her. Shepard landed on her back, rolled, and pulled herself up into a low crouch still within striking distance. Thane put his hands behind his back and watched her, waiting for her next move.

Shepard darted forward and made to feint, staying low as if going for his legs and then shifting at the last minute with an uppercut. He stepped to the side and pivoted, rolling his body around hers and planting his heel in the back of her knee, using her own momentum against her. She fell forward and tucked her head down planting her palms on the mat and rolled with the motion before pushing herself back to her feet. She spun to face him, her hands up but he was standing a few feet away with his hands behind his back. Shepard growled.

“You mustn’t allow your emotions to become involved, Shepard,” Thane said.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard glanced at him. He kept his eyes forward and his mandibles still. She turned her attention back to Thane.

“I don’t see the point in this, other than to knock my ego down a few dozen pegs and now we’ve got a damn audience,” Shepard said.

“I’ll go,” Garrus said.

“I believe it is better for her if you stay. Your presence seems to … inspire her to try harder,” Thane said.

“Hmmm. Shepard?” Garrus asked.

“You’re fine. Besides, I want a witness when I do knock him on his ass,” Shepard said.

 _“You sure you don’t want some help? I could just show you once and then be done,”_ Jane said.

“No, Jane. Look, I get you’re playing nice right now but I can’t take that risk,” Shepard thought.

Thane smiled and Shepard rushed in, closing the distance between them and opened up with a jab at his face. He moved his head to the side and she swung with the other hand. He dodged that just as easily. She pressed forward with a flurry of jabs and wider swings, pushing him back and trying to unbalance him. She dropped to the ground in an attempt to sweep but he jumped over her leg.

After the first half hour, Shepard was running out of energy. She was drenched in sweat and could feel her chest heaving. She called for a break and Thane indulged her. She stepped off the mat to stand in front of Garrus. He smiled at her and handed her the towel from the crate. She wiped her face and took her thermos, taking a long drink of the relatively semi-hot coffee.

“You’re telegraphing your moves to him,” Garrus said barely above a whisper.

Shepard looked up from her thermos and raised her eyebrows. Garrus fluttered his mandibles.

“How so?” Shepard asked just as quietly.

“I’m not sure, but I can tell he knows what you’re about to do before you do it,” Garrus said. “I’ll keep watching.”

Shepard grinned and put her thermos down before stretching up to kiss Garrus. “I’ll just have to fight dirty, then.”

“That’s my girl,” Garrus said.

Shepard returned to the mat and rolled her neck and shoulders before bringing her hands up again. She didn’t waste any time moving in on Thane. She opened with the same move she started with and he responded much the same way, by blocking her shot and reversing his hand to grab her wrist. This time, when he spun her she let him. A heartbeat later, Shepard’s back was pressed to his chest and his hands cradled her head and neck. Shepard stilled in his arms and winked at Garrus.

She arched her back, just barely pushing her ass into Thane’s crotch and whispered, “I want you inside of me so bad.”

There was a hitch in Thane’s breathing and his hands started to slip away. Shepard grabbed his arm and pushed her hip into him, pulling him over her body in a hip throw. Thane landed flat on the mat. Garrus erupted in laughter. Thane stayed down his eyes staring at the ceiling in shock. Shepard cocked her hip and crossed her arms.

“You mustn’t allow yourself to become distracted,” Shepard said throwing his words from the day before back at him.

Thane cleared his throat and did a kip up. “Very good, Siha. Now, defend.”

That was all the warning Shepard had before Thane was on her, flowing around her like water as his hands and arms met her flesh moving from point of contact to point of contact. Shepard got her arms up in front of her face to ward off the blows, bending to shield the attacks that he aimed lower. She was able to block some of them but far too many of them landed for her liking. She found herself immensely grateful that they were only sparring and he wasn’t using his full strength.

 _“I can take him. Just let me do this,”_ Jane insisted.

“No. I’ve got this,” Shepard thought.

 _“He’s beating the crap out of you!”_ Jane said.

“We’re training, I’m learning. That’s how it goes,” Shepard thought.

 _“You’re just – you’re not even watching! You have to watch his movements to learn his patterns,”_ Jane said.

“You’re distracting me, Jane. Shut up,” Shepard thought.

 _“Gods, did you sleep through basic and N7?”_ Jane said.

“Shepard, your brainwave activity is beginning to behave erratically,” EDI’s voice echoed through the hangar.

Shepard’s feet went off the mat and Thane abruptly stopped. Shepard frowned and patted her pockets until she located one of the vials. She held it up to her face, about to break the little plastic tab off when Thane put his hand over hers.

“Look at me, Siha.” Thane’s voice was soft but commanding.

Shepard looked at him, holding his gaze. She could feel the fogginess setting into her mind.

“Take a slow breath,” Thane said.

Shepard complied.

“Again,” he said.

Shepard saw Garrus move from the corner of her eyes and turned her attention to him. Thane held a hand out towards Garrus. Shepard heard the low growl but he stopped.

“Focus on me, Shepard,” Thane said. “Breathe.”

Shepard locked her eyes on Thane’s and took steady, deep breaths. The fogginess was starting to fade and that only made Jane more agitated.

“This thing that you are feeling, acknowledge it and let it go. It is unimportant. It does not control you,” Thane said. “Do not allow yourself to be swayed.”

Shepard dipped her head and focused on her breathing. Taking long, deep breaths and letting them out just as slowly. She let herself feel Jane’s agitation, acknowledging it instead of trying to push it away and then tried to let it go. It took her a few moments and more breathing to grasp how to let it go, but she did manage. Jane retreated to the recesses of Shepard’s mind.

“Brainwave activity has stabilized,” EDI said. “Would you like for me to send a report to Dr. Chakwas?”

“Yes, EDI, thank you,” Shepard said. “Tell her I’ll come see her when I’m done here.”

Thane dipped his head to Shepard. She let her breathing normalize and tucked the vial away again. When she looked up she saw him retreating to the center of the mat. She dropped her arms and rolled her neck before following him. She stopped a few feet away and fell into a defensive stance. Thane advanced again and Shepard started circling, making him follow her around the mat. When he closed the distance this time he was moving slower. She blocked his first two strikes and dodged the third before countering with a swing of her own. He deflected, but didn’t block it completely and her fist skimmed his shoulder. Thane smiled and pressed harder, picking up his speed.

They danced around the mat trading blows for another twenty minutes. Shepard blocked when she could and countered when she saw an opening. Few of her blows landed but it was enough to help her regain some of her confidence. She shifted stances and pressed him with attacks, forcing him to defend. It didn’t last long however. Thane maneuvered around her hooked an ankle around hers, jerking her off of her feet. Shepard slapped her palms to his chest and grabbed his jacket on the way down. Thane tried to maintain his balance but he was going down with her one way or the other. Shepard planted a boot in his abdomen and let her knee bend as it took his weight. As her back hit the mat she pushed with her leg and guided him with her hands, flipping Thane over her to land on the mat a couple of feet away.

Shepard lay there with her chest heaving. “Huh. Wasn’t as hard as I thought.”

“Indeed, you are well trained. It has been many years since I have found myself down here … It is humbling. I believe you have found your focus,” Thane said.

“Yeah, well, you’re still kicking my ass,” Shepard said.

Thane stood and moved to look down at Shepard. He studied her as she lay there regaining her breath. She couldn’t see beyond the darkened lenses to see what was going on in his eyes. After a moment he extended a hand to her, pulling Shepard to her feet when she accepted. His hand lingered in hers a little longer than necessary before he slid it free and tucked it behind his back with the other.  

Thane dipped his head. “We will begin again first thing tomorrow.”

Garrus drew their attention to him as he began to clap. Shepard chuckled and shook her head. She walked over to the crate and grabbed the towel, draping it over her shoulder before grabbing her thermos. She pressed her lips to Garrus’ before patting his armored chest. Shepard started towards the elevator, turning to walk backwards she looked at Thane and Garrus who stood a few feet apart watching her leave.

“I’ve got to go see the doc and then I need another shower. I’ll see you two later.” Shepard turned back around. “EDI, set course for the Alpha Draconis System in the Rosetta Nebula and inform Jacob that we’re going to Aeia.”

“Right away, Shepard,” EDI said.

Shepard weaved around some crates and stopped when she heard Garrus voice echoing off of the hangar walls.

“You know she wants you to follow her, right? I can see why she likes you. Hell, I almost want to take you to bed and trust me; I’m not interested in men. You should go after her; I can tell she got to you with that. I could smell it on you,” Garrus said.

“I … I’m afraid a shower is not a hospitable environment for me, but I am sure she would be delighted if you joined her,” Thane said.

“Hmm. Your loss,” Garrus said.

Shepard thought the chuckle that followed sounded forced. She started moving again, as quietly as she could, hoping that they wouldn’t know she stopped to listen. She reached the elevator and hit the call button. When it opened she stepped inside and hit the button for the third deck. She could hear Garrus approaching when the doors finally slid closed.

Shepard stepped out of the elevator and went straight to the med bay. She paused in the door when she saw not only Dr. Chakwas waiting for her, but Mordin and Miranda as well.

“Well this isn’t scary,” Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas rolled her eyes and waved Shepard over.

“You should have come right away, the scans may not be as useful now,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“I’m fine, though. Thane really helped, I didn’t even need to use the smelling salts,” Shepard said.

“Need blood sample,” Mordin said coming at her with a needle.

“I’ll need to scan your cybernetics,” Miranda said opening her omni-tool.

“And I’ll need to scan your brain to compare it with EDI’s report,” Dr. Chakwas said also opening her omni-tool.

Shepard groaned as the three of them advanced on her. They scanned, poked, and prodded her for a few minutes before dismissing her. Shepard headed back to the elevator and took it up to her cabin. A few minutes later Shepard was rinsing shampoo from her hair when Garrus stepped into the shower behind her. She smiled as his hands slid around her stomach and pulled her back against his chest. He nipped at her shoulder and neck before whispering in her ear.

“I like the way you fight dirty,” he said.

Shepard laughed. “Do you now?”

“Mhmm. I wish you could have seen the look on his face,” Garrus said.

“I wish I had thought to ask you to record it. I’d play it every night just to gloat. It’d be a real hit at parties,” Shepard said.

Garrus chuffed and resumed nipping at her flesh. Shepard moaned and leaned into him. He slid his hands up her slick skin until they found her breasts. A gasp escaped her lips when he pinched her nipples, a soft growl of pleasure rumbled through his chest. Shepard turned around and draped her arms over his shoulders, pressing her mouth to his and running her tongue over the edges of his plating. Garrus opened his mouth to her and their tongues met. He pushed her back gently against the shower wall and slid his hands down her sides to cup her ass and lift her legs around his waist. He held her there while he pulled back enough to position himself before sliding inside of her.

When they were finished, Shepard’s muscles were trembling from exertion. Garrus gently lowered her until her feet were on the shower floor once more before pressing his mouth to hers again. She leaned forward and rested her head against the bare plating on his chest while he lathered up a washcloth and ran it over her back.

“What you did last night for Jack …” Garrus said.

“Mhmm?” Shepard said.

“It was good of you, Dawn. It was the right thing to do.” Garrus hesitated, a strained sound escaping him. “I’m not sure I would have done the same if it had been me.”

Shepard pulled lifted her head to look into his eyes and he stopped washing her. She put a hand on his face, tracing his mandible with her thumb.

“Garrus, if it weren’t for everything that I know … if it weren’t for Jane, I’m not sure _I_ would have handled it the same,” Shepard said.

“You don’t think so?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Jack is incredibly attractive and her confidence only adds to that. I don’t think I would have second guessed it if she had come on to me not knowing what I know.”

Garrus rested his forehead against hers. “So you don’t think I’m an asshole because a part of me regrets that it didn’t go differently?”

“Not if you don’t think I’m an asshole for having the same thought,” Shepard said with a snort.

His mandibles fluttered as he pulled away. He resumed his washing, moving to Shepard’s front.

“I wonder when she left. You think we should check on her, make sure she’s OK?” Garrus asked.

“No, not yet. Give her some space today. If we don’t see her by tonight, I’ll go down there,” Shepard said.

“Hmm. Hey, Shepard?” Garrus said.

“Yeah?” she asked.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you, too, and I always will,” Shepard said.

 

 

           

           

           

           


	27. Chapter 26: Darkness and Decay

**Chapter 26: Darkness and Decay**

            Shepard sat on the edge of Jacob’s workstation eating something that looked a little like a pear but tasted more like a strawberry. She couldn’t remember where Gardner said they from or what he called them, but she found she loved them. Jacob worked on making repairs to an assault rifle that jammed the last time it was used.

            Jacob looked up at Shepard. “I thought you chose the squads?”

            “I do, but since this is your thing … I thought I’d give you a say in who goes. If I don’t like it, I’ll say so. I suggest Miranda, though. You two know each other well, right? It might make this thing a little easier.” Shepard took another bite and caught the juice that dripped down her chin with a finger.

            _“You mean you want Miranda to come play babysitter for this one. Make sure I don’t get out of hand,”_ Jane said.

            “Yeah, that’s a part of it,” Shepard thought.

            “Miranda, huh?” Jacob asked.

            “Sure. You don’t think that’s a good idea?” Shepard licked the juice off of her finger.

            “I didn’t say that. It’s just that … Miranda and I aren’t as close as we used to be. Still, it might be nice to have her there when I finally get some answers,” Jacob said.

            _“You think Jacob will stand by idly if Miranda starts fighting us?”_ Jane asked

            “OK, who else?” Shepard asked.

            “Do we really need anyone else?” Jacob asked.

            _“Whose side do you think he would choose?”_ Jane asked.

            Shepard thought about it for a minute and shrugged her shoulders. “Not if you don’t want someone else.”

            “Samara,” Jacob said.

            _“Ha! I bet you five thousand credits I can get Samara to kill Miranda, maybe Jacob, too,”_ Jane said.

            “Samara?” Shepard asked.

            “Yeah. I like her, I think she’s nice. And she hasn’t been off the ship much,” Jacob said.

            “Samara it is. Anyone else?” Shepard asked.

            _“You’re feeling lucky today, aren’t you Dawn? You think that little breathing trick Thane taught you is going to save you? You’re deluding yourself,”_ Jane said.

            “No, I think that’s good, Commander. Hey thanks again for this. I don’t expect to find much but maybe just something that will tell me what the hell happened to him,” Jacob said.

            “Anytime, Jacob.” Shepard hopped down off of the counter and gave Jacob a smile. “I’ll let Samara and Miranda know to be ready.”

            She tossed the pit into the waste bin as she left the armory. She hit the call button on the elevator, and Kelley smiled and waved at her while she waited. Shepard returned the smile as the elevator opened. She took it down to the third deck and stopped to wash her hands in the restroom before tapping on the door to the starboard observation. She entered when she heard Samara’s soft voice beckon for her to enter. Shepard was a little surprised to see Samara actually sitting on one of the couches in the observation with a book opened in her hands.

            “Shepard, I am glad you have come. I wished to speak with you,” Samara said.

            Shepard sat down on the couch next to Samara, turning sideways with a knee against the back of the couch. Samara closed the book and sat it on the couch beside her. Shepard glanced at the title, _The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe_ , and raised an eyebrow. Samara caught Shepard’s reaction.

            “It appears this man was very troubled, yet there is a particular elegance to his work,” Samara said.

            “I haven’t really read any of his stuff since I was a kid in school and they made us read some of the classics. Maybe I should take a look at that when you’re finished. Maybe now that I’m a little older it will make more sense,” Shepard said with a smile.

            _“A fearful idea now suddenly drove the blood in torrents upon my heart, and for a brief period, I once more relapsed into insensibility. Upon recovering, I at once started to my feet, trembling convulsively in every fiber,”_ Jane said.

            “Don’t,” Shepard thought.

            “Do you read often, Shepard?” Samara asked.

            _“I trust my arms wildly above and around me in all directions. I felt nothing; yet dreaded to move a step, lest I should be impeded by the walls of a tomb,”_ Jane said.

            “Jane, stop,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard shook her head. “Mostly just reports and correspondences.”

            “It has been years since I have stayed still long enough to read a book. I have spent the last four-hundred years on the hunt; it has not left me with much time to read. Many years ago, it was a favored pastime of mine,” Samara said. “I am afraid that I must again set aside the books in favor of finding my quarry.”

            _“Oh, you don’t like ‘The Pit and the Pendulum’? How about something from ‘The Masque of the Red Death’?”_ Jane asked.

            “You’ve found something?” Shepard asked.

 _“And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revelers in the in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in their despairing posture of his fall.”_ Jane continued to recite even as Samara spoke.

            “I have, with the information that you collected on Illium.” Samara folded her hands in her lap and gazed out of the observation window. “It is a difficult thing that I wish to ask. I have sworn an oath to you, Shepard, and I have agreed to serve you on your mission but I fear if I do not go after her now, she will evade me once more.”

            “ _And the life of the ebony clock went out with the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all,”_ Jane said. _“Reminds you of the Council pretending the reapers aren’t real, doesn’t it?”_

“Enough, Jane! Samara is trying to talk to me, this is important to her,” Shepard thought.

            “So we don’t let her get away, we’ll go after her,” Shepard said.

            _“What does it matter? You already know what she needs you to do?”_ Jane asked.

            “You would help me with this?” Samara asked.

            “You aren’t the only member of this team to ask for help with something. You’ve seen that I’ve been willing to help them, why wouldn’t I be willing to help you, too?” Shepard asked.

            _“And you’re doing everything that you can to procrastinate the inevitable. Poe had some things to say about procrastination as well,”_ Jane said.

            “For fucksake just shut up for five minutes, please?” Shepard thought.

            _“All you needed to do was say please,”_ Jane said.

            Samara glanced down at her hands. “Perhaps I am still unused to having others willing to aid me. The life of a Justicar is all too often one of solitude. I should warn you that the fugitive I seek is extremely dangerous.”

            “If you’re after her, I wouldn’t expect anything less. What do you know about her?” Shepard asked.

            “She is an Ardat-Yakshi,” Samara said.

            “A demon of the night winds,” Shepard said.

            Samara turned her eyes from the observation window to look at Shepard. “You surprise me, Shepard. This is not a thing that asari speak of to others. You have known another asari well enough to be trusted with a great secret of all asari.”

            Shepard brushed her hair behind her ear and rested her head on her palm and deflected revealing exactly how she knew of the Ardat-Yakshi. “There were two asari who died when the old Normandy was attacked … Dr. Liara T’Soni was a good friend of mine. She was obsessed with Protheans, and had a brilliant mind. Gods, she was only a hundred and six.”

            Jane stirred in the back of Shepard’s mind but remained silent.

            Shepard took a deep shuddering breath and gently cleared her throat. “The other was a colleague of Dr. Chakwas. Her name was Dr. Tulina. She and Dr. Chakwas were … very close. She joined the Normandy because she specialized in human psychology. She helped me through some rough times, though I didn’t get the chance to know her very well.”

            “I am sorry. I did not intend to stir up the pain of such loss,” Samara said.

            Shepard smiled and shook her head. “Don’t be. It hurts, but it’s good to remember those I’ve lost along the way. So, where is this Ardat-Yakshi?”

            “She is on Omega using the assumed name ‘Morinth’. I believe she is using a nightclub called Afterlife as her hunting grounds. You are familiar with what an Ardat-Yakshi is and how she kills?” Samara asked.

            “Yes, it’s a rare genetic condition that alters the way an asari melds consciousness with others. Instead of simply joining another’s mind, an Ardat-Yakshi overpowers the other, causing hemorrhaging and a slow death,” Shepard said.

            “That is correct. The Ardat-Yakshi gains intense pleasure from the meld and many become addicted to the process leaving a trail of bodies in their wake,” Samara said. “When the condition firsts manifests, they are given the choice to live a life of seclusion or are killed. Morinth refused the offer and ran. She has been free and killing for four-hundred years, and I have been chasing her. When I find her, I must kill her.”

            “That’s a long time to be chasing one person,” Shepard said.

            “She is my responsibility … she is my daughter,” Samara said.

            “Is she the reason you became a Justicar?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes. I have two other daughters – two other Ardat-Yakshi – when they learned of their disorder they chose a life of solitude and moved to a monastery. I had nothing to keep me from pursuing Morinth when she ran, no other obligations. I saw a wrong, I knew what she was capable of and I took responsibility for tracking her down.” Samara turned her attention back to the observation window.  “I gave up all that I possessed and swore the oath of the Justicar. I swore to find my daughter, and kill her. Each life that she has taken since that day has been a reminder of my failure to stop her. My redemption lies in killing her.”

            “I’m assuming that asari have no control over this genetic disorder, even with as much control as they have over mating. You didn’t choose for your daughters to be Ardat-Yakshi,” Shepard said.

            “Of course not, Shepard. No mother would choose this for their children.” Samara’s brow creased as she looked at Shepard in shock.

            “Then why have you worked so hard to convince yourself that you are to blame for her actions?” Shepard asked.

            “I – she is my daughter. I created her, gave her life. It was my duty to ensure that she was taught right from wrong, and I failed,” Samara said.

            “You have three daughters, Samara. Two of which chose the path that would allow them to live without killing others. One chose another path. It sounds to me as if she failed, not you,” Shepard said. “Don’t misunderstand me, I agree that she needs to be stopped and I am more than willing to help you but I see her as the one at fault here, and only her.”

            The silence stretched on for a few moments before Samar spoke again, “You are wise beyond your years, Shepard. I am not sure that I agree, but it is kind of you to say.”

            “I’m just giving you my honest opinion. Maybe you’ll give it some consideration.” Shepard stood and Samara looked up at her. “We’ll get to Omega as soon as we can.”

            “Thank you, Shepard. There are no words to express what this means to me,” Samara said.

            Shepard nodded and started to leave. She stopped when she remembered why she came to see Samara in the first place.

            “Oh, I almost forgot. Jacob has requested you as a squad mate for this next mission. He’s received reports that the emergency beacon from the ship his father disappeared on ten years ago was activated. We’re going to check it out,” Shepard said.

            “I see. This must be difficult for him. I will be ready to assist however I can,” Samara said.

            “Great, thanks, Samara.” Shepard turned to leave.

            “Commander? Might I ask you a question?” Samara asked.

            Shepard turned back to see Samara had stood up and moved closer, speaking in hushed tones.

            “Certainly,” Shepard said.

            “When we first met, you spoke to me about Cerberus and your plans for the operatives on the Normandy. I was curious if you have made any progress? Forgive me if it is not my place to ask,” Samara said.

            “Oh no, you’re fine. Yes, I have made significant progress with both Miranda and Jacob. I am unsure about Kelley, Gabby, and Ken but I think they’ll come around. Gardner even, perhaps. I haven’t had the opportunity to speak with the other Cerberus crew. They tend to avoid me,” Shepard said.

            “This pleases me to hear. I believe Jacob is an honorable man. I did not wish to have to kill him when my service to you is finished,” Samara said.

            Smugness seeped through Shepard’s mind, but still Jane was silent.

            Shepard chuckled. “He seems to like you, as well. He said you’re nice.”

            Samara smiled before returning to the couch and picking up her book. Shepard left the starboard observation and made her way to Miranda’s office. She tapped on the door and entered when Miranda called out to her. Miranda was sitting at her desk sifting through a stack of datapads.

            “Commander, good, you’re here. Councilor Anderson just forwarded some of your medical records to Dr. Chakwas. Apparently much of it was classified and he insists that it can only be released to you in person. We need to go to the Citadel,” Miranda said.

            “It’s going to have to wait a bit, Miranda. We have a lot lined up right now,” Shepard said.

            Miranda looked up from the datapads. “Commander, it is your call, of course but I cannot effectively help you until I have those records.”

            _“She can’t help us. She’ll just want to cut us open again. Probably leave something shiny and new inside. Or maybe something dark and ancient,”_ Jane said.

            “I know, and we’ll get there as soon as we can. I appreciate everything that you’re trying to do to help, I do. I wanted to talk to you about something else though,” Shepard said.

            “Sure, have a seat.” Miranda stood and crossed over to the chairs she had sitting next to the window across from her desk. “What’s on your mind?”

            “We’re headed to check on the S.O.S. sent out by Jacob’s dad’s ship, the Hugo Gernsback,” Shepard said.

            “I’m aware,” Miranda said.

            “Right, and I’m aware that he got that message because of you.” Shepard leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees. “What we find down there isn’t going to be pretty, and it’s going to do a number on Jacob. I let him choose who goes down with us, but I suggested you be a part of the squad and he’s agreed.”

            _“Isn’t pretty doesn’t cover it. Ronald Taylor is the epitome of everything that is wrong with humanity. He’s as bad as the Illusive Man. We should kill him, too. Sometimes we do that, you know? Let the hunters have at him. Or convince Jacob to give him a gun with one shot left. Wouldn’t it feel wonderful to put a bullet in his head yourself? Jacob would understand,”_ Jane said.

            “He’s already dead, isn’t he?” Miranda asked.

            Shepard shook her head. “No, but it might have been better for Jacob if he were. I don’t want to go into the details right now but it’s a complicated mess and his father did some really terrible things. I know you and Jacob have a history, I don’t know the details of that history, but I think he could really use some support down there.”

            “Of course, Commander. Things might not have worked out between Jacob and me, but I still care about him,” Miranda said.

            “I’m also asking you to go because you’re one of the few people on board who understand what’s going on with me. I would prefer to have someone around who will know what’s going on if it something happens,” Shepard said.

            _“Hmmm, we’ll see,”_ Jane said.

            “Yes, I agree that would be wise. I will have smelling salts ready, should you need them,” Miranda said.

            “You should probably bring tranquilizers, too. Just in case.” Shepard chewed on her lip. “It’s possible that if she did take over, she might not do anything … you know, off the wall. But, she’s not exactly fond of you anymore, Miranda. She shot Garrus, I don’t think she’d hesitate to do you harm so … just be careful.”

            _“I didn’t mean to shoot him, not really. That isn’t fair,”_ Jane said.

            “I’m sure I can handle it, Commander, but thank you for your concern,” Miranda said.

            _“Ha! Oh that’s rich. C’mon, Dawn, don’t you kinda want to knock her on her ass now just to show her that she definitely cannot handle a pissed off N7?”_ Jane said.

            “Uh huh. Sure. Look, Samara and Jacob don’t know about this. I get that if something happens you’re going to have to tell them something. Do what you got to do, I’ll deal with the consequences later,” Shepard said.

            _“What do you think Samara would say if she learned that you knew all along where Morinth was but you didn’t tell her?”_ Jane asked.

            “Samara is going with us?” Miranda asked.

            “Yeah, that a problem?” Shepard asked.

            “She is sworn to you, Shepard. How will she respond if I am forced to tranquilize you?” Miranda asked.

            “Samara isn’t exactly the shoot first ask questions later, type though so if you tell her it’s for my safety I think she’ll listen to what you have to say,” Shepard said. “Besides, if it gets to the point where you have to tranquilize me … I don’t think anyone will doubt it was necessary.”

            “I hope you’re right,” Miranda said.

            _“Do you really believe that, Dawn?”_ Jane asked.

            “So do I. Anyway, I’ll be in my cabin looking over reports until we get there,” Shepard said.

            “Hey Jane, why don’t you give creepy bitch mode a rest and try being helpful for a little while instead?” Shepard thought.

            Miranda nodded and Shepard left, making her way back to her cabin. She settled in at her desk and started looking over reports from the crew about the functionality of the ship and things they were running low on. Jane soon grew bored and quieted down.

            “Shepard, there is a call coming in for you from Councilor Sparatus. Shall I patch it through for you?” EDI asked.

            Shepard stood up from her desk and closed her laptop, hitting the button to turn her display case into a vid screen before giving the EDI the go ahead to patch it through. A moment later the image of Councilor Sparatus appeared on the screen, Shepard saluted.

            “Commander Shepard,” Sparatus said.

            “Councilor. What can I do for you?” Shepard asked.

            “Commander, the Council has decided that you should be kept apprised of the developments relating to The Dissension,” Sparatus said.

            Shepard waited quietly while the councilor worked past his apparent discomfort of speaking to Shepard. Sparatus shifted in his seat and clacked his mandibles. Jane stirred, listening to the conversation.

            “Joram Talid has been arrested and charged with suspected connections to the terrorist organization The Dissension, as per the reports made directly to the Council by a Council Spectre – yourself, obviously.” Sparatus paused, his mandibles flaring as he considered his next words. “Because of the nature of the threats made towards you, the Council requested that another Spectre look into Talid – Naepia Protalus.”

            _“Haven’t heard of them,”_ Jane said.

            Sparatus looked at someone off screen to his right. “Is this really necessary?”

            “Yes, Councilor, it is.” Shepard recognized Tevos’ voice.

            “I’m sorry sir, but is there a problem?” Shepard asked.

            _“Obviously, look at him squirm,”_ Jane said.

            Sparatus turned back to the screen and said, “Spectre Protalus was one of several names provided by Talid in an attempt to reduce his sentence. Hours after Talid provided the list of names, he was found dead in his cell and Spectre Protalus is missing. We believe she is involved with The Dissension and has gone rouge.”

            _“Fantastic,”_ Jane said. _“Another distraction. Let me guess, he wants us to track down this rogue Spectre?”_

            “Tell her the rest, Sparatus,” Tevos said.

            Sparatus ran a hand over his face and snapped his mandibles tight against his jaw. “Although the list of names provided by Talid has also gone missing from our systems, it is my duty to inform you that my own name was among those listed. It is preposterous; of course, Talid was clearly doing everything that he could to save his own hide. That being said, I am recusing myself from the Council while I am under investigation.”

            _“Shit … this isn’t good,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard was speechless. She grabbed the back of her chair and stared into the eyes of the councilor on the screen as if she could find the answers there. Sparatus started to stand but abruptly stopped and turned back to the screen.

            “Shepard … I know that our interactions have been … less than friendly but I had nothing to do with this. I am not involved with these people … and I certainly had nothing to do with what happened to you that night,” Sparatus said. “And I’m sorry it happened at all.”

            Shepard took in the urgency in his voice and the strain in his face as he spoke. She wasn’t sure what to believe, but her gut was telling her he was telling the truth.

            _“I don’t know. This is all new to me. I can’t help you with this mess,”_ Jane said.

            “Thank you sir,” Shepard said.

            Sparatus’ mandibles flared wide before he nodded his head to her and disappeared from her sight. A moment later, Tevos took his place.

            “Shepard, the other councilors and I would like to assure you that although we do not believe Councilor Sparatus to be guilty of these crimes, we will ensure that the investigation is thorough and we will remain objective throughout the process,” Tevos said. “If you have anything that you would like to add to the investigation - any evidence, insight, or opinion, you are welcome to share that with us.”

            “I have nothing at this time, thank you. Councilor, if I may?” Shepard asked.

            “Of course, Shepard,” Tevos said.

            “Does the Council plan to replace Councilor Sparatus during the investigation?” Shepard asked.

            Tevos looked off screen briefly. “We are in the process of discussing that, but we believe it is necessary to replace Sparatus if for no other reason than to show publicly that we are not holding the entire turian population responsible for the actions of a few.”

            “Councilor, when the media gets wind of this … it’s going to be a field day. This is going to fuel tensions between the turians and humans. How will the Council deal with this?” Shepard asked

            “We will deal with things as they come, Commander. For now, we must show our due diligence with handling such a serious threat for the sake of both humans and turians,” Tevos said.

            Shepard nodded her head. “Damn it.”

            _“Damn it,”_ Jane echoed.

            “I’m sorry, Commander,” Tevos said.

            “We weren’t able to save any of the other names? No other information was gathered from Talid?” Shepard asked.

            “Unfortunately, without the statement Talid made, and without Talid alive to verify the statement – any names remembered would be considered suspect and inadmissible as evidence. We are required to protect the identities of those individuals named for the time being,” Tevos said.

            _“Of course,”_ Jane said.

            “I see,” Shepard said pinching the bridge of her nose.

            “We will get to the bottom of this, Commander Shepard. However, in the meantime, we still recommend that you maintain an escort while visiting the Citadel whenever possible,” Tevos said.

            “Yes ma’am. Thank you, Councilor,” Shepard said.

            Tevos gave Shepard a sympathetic smile before ending the call. Shepard ran her hands through her hair and let out a deep breath, her bangs fluttering around her face. She hit the button to turn the screen clear again.

            “EDI, please ask Garrus and Thane to come to my cabin. I need to speak with them,” Shepard said.

            A moment later EDI said, “They are on their way, Shepard.”

            Thane was the first to arrive, thanking EDI as he entered the cabin. He stopped a few feet inside and turned to Shepard. His eyes scrutinized and assessed her, Shepard tried to smile reassuringly.

            “I’m fine, no need to subdue me. I just got off of a call with the Council. I’ll wait for Garrus to get here to explain,” Shepard said.

            Thane dipped his head, his posture becoming a little more relaxed. Thane turned to look at Spike pressing his nose against the glass. Shepard moved to stand in front of the tank with him, her arms crossed over her chest. Even being next to him was somehow relaxing.

            “I’m thinking about letting him go the next time I’m on Tuchanka,” Shepard said.

            “Do you no longer find him pleasurable to look at?” Thane asked.

            “No, I do. And I like taking him out to hold him, but Mordin kind of made me feel like a real ass for owning a pet,” Shepard said. “Apparently humans are deplorable for the way we treat animals, above all other atrocities we’ve committed in his eyes.”

            _“Maybe he’ll change his mind when he hears about Ronald Taylor,”_ Jane offered. _“I like Spike. We never had a snake before. Just fish that kept dying and a hamster that stayed hidden.”_

            “He appears to be content and in good health. On Tuchanka, he would likely find the living conditions far harsher. Finding adequate water and food would be more of a challenge, he would have to fend off predators and likely be attacked in territorial disputes,” Thane said.

            _“See, we should keep him,”_ Jane said.

            “Yeah, maybe we should.” Shepard wasn’t sure how long Jane would stay in an agreeable mood, but she wanted to encourage it as much as she could.

            Shepard grabbed her desk chair and rolled it over to the tank. When she started to step up on the swiveling chair, Thane braced the back of it for her. She opened the top of the tank and reached her arm down inside.

            “He bit the hell out of me the first time; I think he got quite a shock when his teeth met metal. Luckily, he didn’t hurt himself,” Shepard said. “I usually make Garrus do this because he doesn’t have to stand on a damn chair.”

            Thane chuckled and watched as Spike raised upwards, his tongue flicking in and out, as he met Shepard’s hand. He pushed his nose against her fingertips before slowly wrapping himself around her hand and crawling up her arm. Jane seemed to delight in the sensation. Shepard carefully retracted her arm and Spike from the terrarium. The cabin door opened and Garrus walked in as she stepped off of the chair.

            “Please tell me you didn’t call me up here to watch you baby-talk to Spike,” Garrus said.

            Shepard stuck her tongue out at Garrus and held Spike up in front of her face. His tongue darted out, testing her scent.

            “Ignore him, Spike. He’s just a big meanie. Yes he is. He’s jealous because I don’t baby-talk to him. Who’s my good little predator? Hmmm? You are, aren’t you? Yes you are,” Shepard said.

            _“You’re right. We’re definitely not the same person,”_ Jane said, amusement tinting her words.

            “Spirits, woman. Please don’t ever talk to me like that,” Garrus said.

            “Oh so I shouldn’t start talking like this in bed?” Shepard asked with a smirk.

            Garrus chuffed and Thane chuckled.

            “So what’s up?” Garrus asked.

            “I just received a call from Councilor Sparatus. EDI? Can you play that back for us by chance?” Shepard asked.

            “Absolutely,” EDI said.

            Shepard pushed the chair back over to her desk and stood in front of the glass display case as it darkened. Thane and Garrus moved closer to stand behind her as Sparatus appeared on the screen. Shepard let Spike slither over her hands and arms as the call played. Despite what she’d said, Jane almost seemed to coo in response. When it ended, Shepard looked over her shoulder at Garrus. His mandibles were tight against his face and he stood rigid. He had to understand the implications of this in turian politics better than she did, and clearly he was concerned.

            Shepard wrapped Spike around the back of her neck and went downstairs to the liquor cabinet. She poured Garrus a drink and turned to see that the two men followed her downstairs. Shepard crossed the floor and handed Garrus the glass, letting him process what he’d just seen. She settled in on the couch and gestured at the empty seats. Garrus slowly lowered himself to the cushion at the end of the section Shepard sat on while Thane crossed to the other section to sit. Garrus took a long drink of the brandy before leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

            “I believe him.” Shepard wasn’t positive until she said it out loud. “Sparatus is kind of an ass, but I don’t think he’s involved with this.”

            _“I think you’re right,”_ Jane said.

            “I saw no indication of deceit,” Thane offered.

            “Neither did I, but depending on how this thing goes, it’s not going to matter,” Garrus said.

            “There’s going to be political backlash either way,” Shepard said.

            “Turian-human relations are still tense, our alliances might not be able to withstand this,” Garrus said.

            _“What if this leads to war?”_ Jane asked.

            “We’ll do whatever we can to keep it from getting to that point,” Shepard thought.

            “Honestly, I’m more concerned about the turian’s ability to unite when the reapers hit than I am about any conflict between our species,” Shepard said. “The turian’s military strength is vital against the reapers.”

            _“Gods, you’re right,”_ Jane said.

            Garrus ran the back of a gloved talon across his forehead. “No, when the reapers arrive, we’ll be on the frontlines. It’s who we are, what we do.”

            “It’s not as simple as that, Garrus. When the reapers come … every other time, both Palaven and Earth were under attack. It was my job to convince everyone to band together for the final assault on Earth. I had to agree to help cure the genophage to get Wrex to help Primarch Victus –,” Shepard said.

            “Victus?” Garrus asked.

            Shepard nodded and continued, “Wrex wouldn’t help Victus fight on Palaven unless the genophage was cured, and Victus wouldn’t lend Earth any support unless Palaven was covered. The reapers spread out through the galaxy, but they are gunning for Earth. The final showdown to this whole thing happens there.”

            “And with things already in motion to cure the genophage, and the potential of trouble between turians and humans … hmmm,” Garrus said taking another drink.

            “Exactly. So, we need to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Shepard said.

            _“How?”_ Jane asked.

            “What do you suggest we do?” Garrus asked.

            “We’ve got to help prove Sparatus innocent, and encourage positive human-turian relations while the turians work to ferret out The Dissension and squash the group before things get even uglier,” Shepard said.

            _“It feels … dirty helping him, but if that’s what it takes,”_ Jane said.

            “How may I assist, Shepard?” Thane asked.

            “I want both of you to see what information you can turn up. On Talid, on Sparatus, on Protalus. This thing is going to hit the media. See if you can figure out where people stand,” Shepard said. “We’ll have to go to the Citadel soon, but do what you can from here. There’s an Alliance reporter, Diana Allers, I haven’t met her yet, but I know she can be trusted. I’ll see if I can track her down. I want to make it clear that I support Sparatus publicly and she won’t sugar coat anything. I’ll talk to Emily Wong, too.”

            _“Just avoid Khalisah al-Jilani,”_ Jane said.

            “Of course. Fuck that bitch,” Shepard thought.

            Jane snorted.

            “I should bring Grundan Krul in on this.” Garrus put the glass down on the table and stood, heading for the door. “He can help. Unless that’s a problem for you?”

            _“He’s not taking this well at all. Look at his eyes, they look so cold, and his mandibles … you couldn’t pry them away from his jaw if you tried,”_ Jane said.

            “Not at all,” Shepard said.

            _“What will happen to Garrus if we go to war with his people? We can’t do that, can we? We can’t participate in a war against the turians. We can’t do that to him. He wouldn’t do that to us. And what about the collectors and the reapers?”_ Agitation and panic started to creep in around the edges of Shepard’s consciousness as Jane began to worry.

            “No, we’ll never participate in a war against the turians. Not so long as I have breath left in me. It’s going to be OK, Jane. We’ll find a way,” Shepard thought.

            “I’ll let you know what we find,” Garrus said.

            _“What did we do, Dawn? We never should have looked at that list. None of this would have happened if we hadn’t looked at the list,”_ Jane said.

            “Shh, Jane, it’s OK. It’s OK. We’ll fix it, alright? We’ll fix it,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard stood and followed after him. Thane watched them with his hands tucked behind his back from the top of the stairs. She kissed Garrus and he pressed his head to hers. Despite her best efforts to soothe Jane, her worry was real and contagious. Shepard couldn’t help herself from running through the worst of the ‘what ifs’ as Garrus leaned into her. Jane seemed to retreat, to wallow in her own fears. He squeezed her shoulder and left the cabin.

It wasn’t until the door closed behind him that Shepard let the tears slip down her face. She turned around and swiped at her cheeks, glancing at Thane as she pulled the chair back to the tank. Thane moved to hold the chair without her needing to ask as she stepped up on it and coaxed Spike off of her arm and back into his tank.

            “Remember to breathe, Siha. You have faced worse than this, I have no doubts you will find a solution,” Thane said.

            Shepard glanced down, more tears threatening to spill over her eyes. Thane held a hand out to her. She slipped her hand in his and stepped down from the chair. Pulling it back to wipe at her eyes again.

            “I’m making a mess of this, Thane. None of this ever happened before. Things are falling apart and I’m not going to be around in the end to help him pick up the pieces,” Shepard said. “Maybe Jane’s right. Maybe I’m just making it all worse.”

            “I do not believe that she is … you shouldn’t give up hope that you will survive this,” Thane said.

            Shepard gave a sardonic laugh. “Hell, Thane, you might just outlive me this time.”

            Shepard saw something flash in Thane’s eyes to quickly for her to pinpoint before he turned his eyes to the ground.

            “I – I find that an oddly discomforting notion. You are strong, Shepard. There is still time, you could survive this,” Thane said.

            Shepard shook her head. “That’s not going to happen. He knows it. I know it. The best I can hope for is that when things go dark, they stay dark this time. And if it doesn’t … well, I’m just glad that I was able to make at least some memories of my own to carry me through the times to come.”

            Thane put a hand on Shepard’s shoulder and she forced a smile.

            “Siha,” he said.

            “You know what scares me the most about it? Having to look at all of you through someone else’s eyes and knowing that you won’t even know I’m there. You won’t see me. You won’t know me. I’ll just be another voice in someone else’s mind.” Shepard closed her eyes and took a deep breath and let it out slow.

            Thane moved his hand to cup her cheek. “I see you now, Siha.”

            Shepard let out a wistful sigh. His touch calming her, she opened her eyes.

            “I shouldn’t be dumping this on you, I’m sorry,” Shepard said.

            “Don’t apologize. I’m honored that you are willing to share these things with me.” Thane opened his arms to her and she stepped into his embrace.

            He held her in companionable silence, her cheek pressed against the cool leather of his jacket. After a moment, Shepard took another deep breath and chuckled.

            “There you go spoiling me again.” Shepard started to pull away.

            Thane didn’t release her though, his hands staying pressed against her back. Shepard’s heart jumped and her eyes sought his, trying to understand the intent behind the gesture. His eyes were focused on her lips. The abrupt and complete shift in her thoughts made her mind stumble. He moved a hand back to her face, the tips of his fingers resting just below her jaw. He ran his thumb across her cheek and she could feel her pulse throbbing against his fingertips.

            “You have taught me many things, Siha.” His voice rumbled, soft and low like distant thunder.

            Shepard licked her lips. “Oh?”

“I wonder if you are willing to teach me one more?” Thane asked meeting her gaze.

            Shepard swallowed against the knot in her throat, her voice hoarse when she spoke. “What’s that?”

            He leaned in and brushed his lips feather light against hers. A small whimper escaped Shepard’s throat when just as suddenly his lips had left hers again. His mouth hovered over hers, teasing her with its closeness yet feeling so far away.

            “How to share,” Thane whispered.

            Shepard slid her hand along his jaw until her fingers cradled his head and pulled him closer, her mouth hungrily seeking his out. Heat surged through her as his lips parted, allowing her tongue entrance to his mouth. Raw lust and a wave of emotion crashed through her as he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her in flush against his body. Shepard pushed against him, guiding him until his back pressed against the terrarium. She didn’t hear the cabin door slide open.

            “Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard ignored her, instead moaning into Thane’s mouth.

            “About damn time.” Garrus’ voice broke through Shepard’s mind but she couldn’t pull herself from Thane to turn and look.

            Thane tried pulling from her but Shepard whimpered and pulled him back closer.

            “Shepard, your brainwave activity –,” EDI said.

            Garrus was there beside her, his hands gently pulling her away as Thane freed himself from her grasp, as startled look on his face. Only then did she realize how close she was to losing herself to Jane.

            “No. No, no, no.” Shepard groaned.

            _“There’s no time. So much is going wrong. We have to stop it. There’s no time.”_ Jane rattled on, her voice delirious in Shepard’s mind.

            “Stay with me, Dawn,” Garrus said. “Are you helping or not, Krios?”

            _“The Dissension is working with the collectors. They must be. They’re all indoctrinated. They’re going to kill all of the humans. Harbinger has them now. We have to stop it!”_ Jane said.

            Thane collected himself enough to speak up. “Shepard, just as this morning; deep breaths, acknowledge, and let it go.”

            Shepard nodded and focused on her breathing, clinging desperately to Garrus’ arms as her head spun.

            _“Dawn, do you hear me? Dawn! We have to stop them. We can’t let this happen. They’ll take everyone. They’ll take us all, put us in pods and melt us down. They’re going to feed us into the human reaper they’re making. We have to stop this!”_ Jane said.

            “Jane you have to calm down. You’re not making sense!” Shepard spoke out loud, her hand clenching at her head as pain lanced through her skull.

            “EDI, get Dr. Chakwas up here,” Garrus said.

            Shepard’s head was spinning. She had to fight the urge to throw herself on Thane even while fighting the urge to go running from the cabin, screaming in panic. Thane was still encouraging her to breathe and to let go of the emotions threatening to consume her but it wasn’t working out for her quite so well this time. Dr. Chakwas came in and opened her omni-tool right away, moving to Shepard’s side and scanning her head. Shepard felt herself becoming agitated on top of it all, as Dr. Chakwas began asking her questions.

            Dr. Chakwas didn’t wait any longer for the deep breathing exercises to help. She snapped open a vial of smelling salts and waved them in front of Shepard’s face. Shepard coughed and pulled away from the odor. Dr. Chakwas waved it under her nose again once more for good measure until Shepard gave her a murderous look. Soon, Shepard’s cabin was filled with people poking, prodding, and scanning as Mordin and Miranda joined her to draw blood and scan her implants. Shepard stood there as passively as she could, torn between anger and sympathy for the insane voice in her head.

            _“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”_ Jane whimpered. _“They’re coming. Oh gods, they’re coming and they’re going to kill us all.”_

            Garrus stood off to the side watching her like a hawk. Thane had pushed himself back in a corner near the door, looking to Shepard as if he wanted nothing more than to flee but was making himself stay in case he was needed. He met her gaze and Shepard winced, looking away from him and focusing on Spike instead. The thorned serpent had curled himself into the corner of the tank and appeared to be sleeping despite all of the activity going on just outside of his tank. Tears began to slip down Shepard’s cheeks and she angrily shoved them away with her free hand.

            “Do you have what you need?” Garrus asked, stepping forward.

            “Yes, I believe so,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “I’d like to run a few more tests,” Miranda said.

            “They can wait,” Garrus said.

            Miranda looked up at Garrus and cocked an eyebrow, her lips parted as if she were about to scold him when she glanced at Shepard. Miranda’s mouth closed and she looked down at her omni-tool.

            “I suppose they can. Shepard, I would appreciate it if you would come to my office when you’re feeling up to it,” Miranda said.

            Shepard nodded and Miranda closed her omni-tool. Dr. Chakwas squeezed Shepard’s arm and headed for the door, Miranda right behind her. Thane stepped out of her way. Mordin followed, all the while explaining to Dr. Chakwas and Miranda why they should allow him to take blood samples from them for comparison. Shepard turned and walked downstairs to collapse on the couch. She shoved her fingers into her hair and hid her face in her palms.

            She could hear Garrus and Thane talking quietly where she left them, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. She thought Garrus sounded a little angry once or twice but he didn’t raise his voice. After a couple of minutes, Shepard heard Garrus come down the stairs and felt his body settle in next to her on the couch. When he wrapped his arm around her, she dropped her hands from her face and leaned into him.

            “Thane leave?” Shepard asked.

            “Yeah. He, uh, he said he wanted to give you your space,” Garrus said.

            “I saw the look on his face. He ran scared. Can’t say that I blame him. That wasn’t exactly the ideal first kiss,” Shepard said.

            _“They’re coming,”_ Jane said.

            “He’s just concerned, Shepard. Hell, we all are. The way he sees this, he set Jane off. He doesn’t want to risk it happening again,” Garrus said.

            Shepard smiled.

            “What?” Garrus asked.

            “You’re defending him. That’s a far cry from threatening to rip his throat out,” Shepard said.

            _“Garrus. Garrus is the only turian we can trust. We can trust him, right? He’s not working with the collectors. He won’t let them have us,”_ Jane said.

            “Of course we can trust Garrus,” Shepard thought.

            “Yeah well, I’m still not getting into bed with the two of you,” Garrus said.

            “You don’t let me have _any_ fun,” Shepard said forcing a smile.

            Garrus chuckled. “How are you holding up?”

            Shepard thought about it for a moment. “I’m pissed. And emotionally exhausted. I’m so tired of living this way, Garrus.”

            Garrus rubbed her arm. “I know, Shepard. I would fix this for you if I could. Maybe we’ll get lucky and one of them will come up with a solution; figure out a way to make Jane go away.”

            “I don’t want her to go away, Garrus. I need her. I just wish she would stop making it all so gods damned difficult,” Shepard said.

            _“He wants me to go away? Garrus … wants me to go away?”_ Jane asked

            “You don’t need her, Shepard. You already know what’s going to happen, and what you need to accomplish. You can figure out the details without her,” Garrus said, tensing next to her.

            _“No, no, you need me. And we need Garrus. We need all of them.”_ Jane’s thoughts shifted away from The Dissension and focused in on Garrus’ words. _“I didn’t mean to shoot him. Tell him I’m sorry, please! Tell him I’m sorry.”_

            “You know, she’s miserable over shooting you. She wants you to know that she’s sorry,” Shepard said.

            “Hmmm. Well, if she’s really sorry she’ll stop doing this to you,” Garrus said.

            “I’m not so sure she can always help it, Garrus,” Shepard said. “She keeps changing from one moment to the next. I’m not sure how much control she has over any of it anymore.”

            Garrus stood abruptly. “Are you going to be alright alone? I only came back up here to grab a datapad I left here last night. I need to finish filling Grundan Krul in on this whole mess with The Dissension and the Council.”

            Shepard watched as that old familiar coldness began to creep back into Garrus’ eyes. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be fine. No worries.”

            Feeling deflated, Shepard made her way back to her desk as Garrus left her cabin. She stayed there going over reports and trying her hardest to not think about what was going on in Garrus’ mind for fear it would upset Jane all over again. When EDI told her she had twenty minutes before they arrived at Aeia, she suited up and went down to the shuttles to meet her ground team. Miranda eyed her warily as she climbed into the shuttle.

            “Are you well, Commander?” Samara asked.

            “Yeah, I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” Shepard said.

            Once everyone was in the shuttle, Shepard closed the door and knocked on the wall to alert the pilot that they were good to go. The hangar doors opened and the shuttle lifted off the hangar floor, leaving the ship and flying down to Aeia. Shepard glanced at Jacob who seemed to be watching Miranda closely. She took that as a sign that Miranda had spoken to Jacob about the message he received. She idly wondered what else went into that conversation but she knew it wasn’t her business.

            The shuttle landed on Aeia and everyone climbed out. The sound of ocean waves lapping against the shore reached Shepard’s ears. She took a moment to look around at the rocky ledges and palm trees surrounding her. She glanced up at the sight of the moons, so close to Aeia that it almost seemed like she could reach out and touch them. EDI’s voice came over the comm, telling the team that there were no signs of life but that the ship might still hold valuable information. Shepard stepped aside and motioned Jacob forward.

            Jacob looked at her, his eyebrows raised as if to ask her if she were sure. Shepard nodded and smiled. He gave her a firm nod and took the lead, moving down the path towards the wreckage of the Hugo Gernsback. Miranda stayed close to Shepard, as did Samara; both for very different reasons. Shepard caught Miranda’s eye and then looked pointedly at Jacob’s back. Miranda frowned at Shepard but moved up closer to Jacob.

            She could hear the two of them talking softly to one another, only able to make out every few words. Miranda seemed to be trying to prepare Jacob for the worst, and Jacob seemed to be assuring her that he didn’t expect to find his father alive. Shepard glanced at Samara who smiled at her warmly.

            “It is very beautiful here,” Samara said.

            Shepard looked around her again and nodded. “Yeah, it is. Tranquil.”

            “It reminds me of the gardens on Thessia,” Samara said. “Have you ever been to Thessia, Commander?”

            “No, not yet. I’m sure I will someday. Liara use to talk about it sometimes. Mostly just the occasional story from her childhood … memories of a time before her mother … her mother was Lady Benezia. I don’t know if you knew who she was, or of her involvement with Saren?” Shepard asked.

            “I do not know of her,” Samara said.

            “She was a well-respected matriarch until she became involved with Saren. She thought she could help him, pull him back from the brink of insanity and keep him from hurting anyone else. But the longer she spent with him, with Sovereign; she became indoctrinated and was soon working to aid Saren.” Shepard turned her eyes to the ground in front of her as they walked. “We had to fight her on Noveria. It tore Liara apart. Benezia broke through the hold the indoctrination had on her mind in the end, just long enough to give us a little information and say goodbye to her daughter.”

            Jane tossed and turned, restless in the back of Shepard’s mind. Images of Liara began to float to the surface. Her smile lit up the room like no one else’s. Shepard could see every freckle that dusted the asari’s cheeks, and every curve of her crest.

            “She was still very young, your friend Liara. I imagine that was devastating for her and for you as well,” Samara said.

            Shepard cleared her throat and looked back up at the wreckage as they approached the ship. “Yeah … anyway, one of the stories I remember Liara telling me was about how she use to dig in the garden at home when she was a child. Looking for ruins she said. It upset Benezia, but she helped Liara to realize her dreams as an archeologist.”

            They stopped at a stack of crates on the shore while Jacob listened to the logs on an active laptop. Shepard watched as the smile faded from Samara’s face as the recording spoke of the mistreatment of the crew. The beacon stood nearby, the active VI giving off a repeated warning about the dangers of consuming local flora.

            “Let’s look inside the ship first,” Jacob said. “Something doesn’t feel right about this.”

            “It’s your call, Jacob. I’m right behind you,” Shepard said.

            “Yeah,” Jacob said making his way down the gangplank.

            Jacob paced as the final recording played in the ship. “Is he … is he talking about raping that woman? Shepard, what the hell’s going on here? What happened to these people? We got recordings of people talking about not being able to remember things – even things that happened a few minutes before – and this man talking about taking advantage of a woman!”

            Shepard shook her head. She wished she could just tell Jacob exactly where his father was and what the sick son-of-a-bitch had done but she couldn’t. It wouldn’t change anything for him, anyway. The truth was there were no good answers for this.

            “Maybe the beacon can tell us more,” Shepard said.

            Jacob looked behind him, as if he could see the VI through the ship’s walls. “Yeah.”

            Shepard followed him as he made his way to the VI. He listened as the VI gave its warning about the local flora before he began asking it questions about the crash and the surviving crew. As Shepard expected, the VI wasn’t able to provide much relevant information because Acting Captain Ronald Taylor had deleted records before reactivating the beacon almost nine years after it was fixed. The VI was able to confirm that those who consumed local food experienced neural decay regardless of decontamination or preparation, and although it was clear the effects were accumulative it was unknown whether they were permanent.

            “Why would he delete records, and why wait so long to start the beacon back up once it was fixed?” Jacob asked.

            “Perhaps he thought help was on the way?” Miranda suggested.

            Jacob shook his head. “No, he deleted the records for a reason and waited almost nine years to turn it back on. He didn’t want anyone finding him … I just wish I knew why.”

            “If there are still any survivors around, I doubt they went far.” Shepard glanced uphill, knowing exactly where the survivors would be found.

            “Yeah. Even if we don’t find my father, if there are still people alive from this ship, we should get them some help,” Jacob said.

            _“We had Cerberus pick up the survivors before … we thought they helped them but we thought they helped Talitha, too.”_ Jane spoke up, her voice monotonous and sedate, for the first time since she finally quieted in Shepard’s cabin.

            “We won’t call Cerberus in this time. I’ll just call the Alliance.” Shepard assured Jane.

            Jacob slowed, becoming more cautious when he saw crates littering the path. A woman peered around the edge of a crate and ran out to meet them. She spoke excitedly to Jacob about the leader’s promise that help would come and the hunters who would try to stop Jacob from helping. Jacob struggled to make sense of what the woman was saying; clearly she had been affected by the neural decay the VI spoke of. Shepard kept her eyes up, waiting for the group of feral men with guns to arrive. She signaled to Jacob when she saw the first one. Jacob pulled the confused woman back behind a crate and took cover himself.

Shepard and the others moved to cover and returned fire. Shepard cringed every time one of the hunters – as the woman had called them – fell to her team’s gunfire. These men and women needed help, not to be shot, even if some of these men had participated in the atrocities that Ronald Taylor allowed on his watch. That Ronald Taylor participated in himself. She cringed inwardly again when Jacob denied that his father would have allowed these things to happen, he didn’t even know the half of it.

            “This was caused by eating food from this planet?” Samara asked.

            “The VI said the effects were accumulative. The Hugo Gernsback crashed here ten years ago. Even with what rations they might have saved from the ship, it is likely that these people have had nothing else to eat for years,” Miranda said.

            “My father … this must be why he stopped the beacon. He wasn’t in his right mind,” Jacob said.

            _“It would be better if that were the truth,”_ Jane said.

            “Maybe. Only one way to find out. Let’s keep moving,” Shepard said.

            Jacob helped the woman to her feet and she clung to him. Shepard helped him to disentangle himself and moved the woman to the back of the group, telling her to stay behind them. Jacob led the way up the inclining path until they came to the main encampment. Women milled about the area, some clustered together talking in groups. The woman broke away from Shepard’s group to join the others, talking excitedly to them about the star that arrived. Crates of spoiled rations were strewn about. A statue forged from scrap from the wreckage, abstractly resembling a human figure had been erected in the center of the camp.

            Shepard and the others tightened in around Jacob as the women began reacting to Jacob’s presence. They spoke about him having the same face as the one who forced them to eat the food and decay. Others spoke of being punished and abused, of pleasing the leader as he demanded. Shepard watched Jacob as all of the things he’d been trying to put together and simultaneously deny began to fuse solidly into place in his mind. She watched as Miranda saw him draw the same conclusions she had likely already come to, and she saw the remorse etched into Miranda’s face. Shepard watched as Samara surveyed the camp, listened to the muddled reports of the survivors and new that the Justicar, although sworn to wait and follow Shepard’s lead, had already found Ronald Taylor to be guilty of horrible crimes and deserving of the swift action of a Justicar.

            They made their way through the camp towards where the path picked up again and were confronted by LOKI mechs. Shepard didn’t hesitate to open fire on the mechs, forcing them back to keep the fight away from the women in the camp. Samara glowed a brilliant blue-white beside Shepard as she used her biotic Throw to toss the mechs around. Miranda focused on using her Overload to take down the mechs’ shields and damage their circuitry while Jacob used his biotic Pull to lift the mechs up into the air before shooting at them.

            When the mechs were down, Shepard moved to the woman cowering on all fours not far from where the mechs came from. She stood to her feet when they approached and spoke to Jacob, telling him in a roundabout way that even though Jacob looked like his father it was clear that Jacob was there to help. She gave Jacob a datapad containing logs from the early days after the crash. Shepard watched as Jacob’s mouth tightened into a thin line as he read over the logs. She waited for Jacob to be ready to speak, but Miranda wasn’t as patient.

            “What is it, Jacob? What does it say?” Miranda asked.

            Jacob shook his head and handed the datapad to Miranda. He turned his eyes to Shepard, determination slowly replacing the pain. Shepard patted him on the shoulder.

            “We’ll find him and get to the bottom of this, Jacob,” Shepard said.

            “And when we do, he’d better have some damn good answers.” Jacob gently shrugged Shepard’s hand from his shoulder and began pacing. “I get why he’d think they’d need to keep the rations for the officers. I mean, yeah, if they all got the neural decay then who would fix the beacon. But the beacon was fixed a long time ago, and instead of turning it on and calling for help he and his men forced these people to become sick so they could be used as their personal play things! I can’t believe my father would do this, Shepard. This isn’t the man I remember.”

            Miranda passed the datapad to Shepard who scanned over it, already knowing what it would tell her before passing it on to Samara. The Justicar took her time reading the information.

            “He exiled the male crew and divided the women as chattel among the officers and himself.” Samara said. “These were not just actions. If he still lives, he must be held accountable.”

            _“Then he killed the officers, too,”_ Jane said.

            “Don’t worry, he will be,” Jacob said. “Come on, the mechs came from up there. Maybe that’s where he’s at.”

            They fought their way through more mechs as they neared the secondary encampment where Ronald had holed himself up. His voice came in over a speaker system as they pushed forward, claiming that he had to keep them busy but it was getting dangerous. Shepard assumed he meant the hunters that were closing in on his location. Her team had to fight through the feral men as well as the mechs. The closer they got to Ronald, the heavier the resistance and more barricades.

Miranda was the first to spot the YMIR mech, but Shepard had been expecting it. She was in the process of switching to her grenade launcher when Miranda called out the warning. Shepard ducked behind cover and gave Miranda the order to use her Overload while she targeted the mech. Samara helped to break through its shields using her Reave and Jacob provided a distraction, moving from location to location as he fired off shots at the mech in an attempt to harry. Shepard caught the mech in her crosshairs and fired off several grenades, ducking back down as the mech exploded.

            Shepard stood and slung the grenade launcher over her shoulder, her chest heaving as she turned to Jacob. He nodded and approached the door in a hodgepodge wall build from pieces of the wreckage. He followed the path up to a platform where his father paced, overlooking the water below. Hunters were already creeping closer in the distance, watching and waiting.

            “You’re here. I knew a real squad would blow through just fine. Sorry if the mechs scuffed your pads,” Ronald said.

            Jacob came to a stop a few feet away from his father, Shepard and the others forming a loose line next to him. Ronald’s eyes roamed over the group, trying to determine the leader. Finally he settled on Shepard, she assumed because of her full armor and big guns. She leaned against a crate and turned her head to Jacob. Ronald followed her gaze and focused in on Jacob instead.

            “What did you do?” Jacob asked softly.

            “I’m sorry?” Ronald said.

            Jacob lunged forward and grabbed his father by the shirt pulling him in closer to his face. “I said what the hell did you do?”

            Miranda raised her pistol and biotics flared up around Samara. Shepard cocked an eyebrow; Jacob had never come at his father this strong before. Not at first at least. Miranda glanced at Shepard and she shook her head. Miranda lowered her pistol and the biotic haze around Samara began to die down.

            _“Should just let them shoot him, he doesn’t deserve to live,”_ Jane said.

            “It’s Jacob’s father, his call,” Shepard thought.

            “Let go of me! Do you know who the hell I am?” Ronald asked.

            “Acting Captain Ronald Taylor meet your son, Jacob Taylor. Jacob looks pretty pissed, wouldn’t you say, _Ron_?” Shepard said.

            “Pissed doesn’t even begin to cover it,” Jacob said.

            Ronald’s face fell, his eyes opening wide in shock. “Jacob?”

            “That’s right, _Dad_. Longtime no see. You know, it’s crazy, I never thought I’d see you alive again but after seeing what you did here … what you did to these people … now I wish I hadn’t.” Jacob shoved his father back, releasing his shirt.

            Ronald stumbled back, hitting his back against a crate and falling to his knees.

            “So let me ask you again, what the hell did you do?” Jacob seethed through clenched teeth.

            “I – I … Jacob, you don’t understand. I – I never meant for things to go this way,” Ronald said.

            “Yet here we are,” Miranda said.

            Ronald pulled himself back to his feet. “This isn’t me, Jacob. You know that. I made some bad choices … the realities of command … I thought I was making the right calls, keeping things together. Keeping the order while we got the beacon going again.”

            “That beacon was fixed almost nine years ago!” Jacob yelled.

            Ronald looked at the ground in front of him. “It took a while to fix. The crew had already succumbed to the neural decay. There’d already been … incidences with some of the male crew trying to mutiny. By the time we got it fixed, things had already gotten out of hand. I didn’t know how to explain this if help came.”

            “So you left the beacon off and played king? Killed off the rest of your officers and had your pick of whatever woman you wanted to abuse for the night? Ten years!” Jacob moved in closer to his father, but Ronald backed away. “You’ve been promising these people that you were going to get help for them but you didn’t even try. You’ve been too busy living out some juvenile fantasy. What happened? Huh? The men you exiled came back for revenge and now suddenly you want help?”

            _“I think he’s going to kill him. One less for the reapers,”_ Jane said.

            “I wanted out alive, Jacob. Surely you can at least understand that. I didn’t expect you to be the one to show up,” Ronald said.

            “You think this would have looked any better to anyone else?” Jacob asked.

            “I thought I could explain it somehow. Give a good enough excuse that no one would look too hard at. Even if I was wrong, life in prison sounded better than dying here,” Ronald said. “Look at them. Even now they’re gathering around waiting for a chance to take my blood.”

            “Maybe I should let them,” Jacob said.

            “Jacob, you don’t mean that. Look, I know I was wrong but you can’t just leave me here to die. You’re better than that. Better than me,” Ronald said.

            “How the hell would you know?! I haven’t seen you in thirteen years!” Jacob yelled pulling out his pistol and pointing it at his father.

            “You want to kill him, Jacob, I don’t think anyone here would hold it against you but either way he’s not getting away with this. I’ve still got some friends in the Alliance. I can call Hackett, get him here to take him to prison – get everyone else out of here and the help they need. It’s your call,” Shepard said.

            Jacob shook his head and took a few steps back closer to Shepard. He slowly lowered his pistol.

            “Call him, Shepard. If he’s even got a fraction of a conscious left it’ll be worse for him to spend the rest of his life knowing what he’s done every single day,” Jacob said.

            _“It won’t be a very long life. Not with the reapers coming,”_ Jane said.

            “Thank you, son,” Ronald said.

            “I’m not your son. Not anymore,” Jacob said walking away.

            Shepard nodded to Miranda and Samara who held Ronald at gunpoint while Shepard stepped away. Jacob watched the hunters as they edged closer and raised his pistol at them, warning them off. Shepard asked EDI to patch her through to Hackett and watched Jacob as she waited.

            “It’s alright. He’s going to pay for this and we’re getting you all out of here. Just … just stay back,” Jacob called out to the hunters.

            Admiral Hackett’s secretary picked up the call and Shepard had to convince the other woman that it was in her best interest that she put the call through right away. Finally, she conceded and the call was patched through to Hackett.

            “Commander Shepard?” Hackett said.

            “Admiral Hackett, sorry to bother you sir, but I have something that needs the attention of the Alliance and, well, you’re one of the few who has the pull and is still willing to listen to me,” Shepard said.

            “What’s the problem, Commander?” Hackett asked.

            “I’m in the Alpha Draconis System of the Rosetta Nebula on a planet called Aeia. I’ll forward you the coordinates. We received information about an S.O.S. from a crashed ship called the Hugo Gernsback. One of my team had a relative on the ship, so we came to investigate,” Shepard said.

            She could hear movement on Hackett’s end as he pulled up what information the Alliance had on the Gernsback.

            “Sir, what we’ve discovered is that many members of the crew and a handful of officers survived the crash. First Officer Ronald Taylor was promoted in the field to acting captain when the captain didn’t survive,” Shepard said. “I’ll give you all of the details in a report, but the long and the short of it is that Acting Captain Taylor deliberately delayed the reactivation of the beacon after coming to the realization that the crimes he committed against his officers and crew would condemn him to a life in prison.”

            “What kind of crimes are we talking about here, Shepard?” Hackett asked.

            “Rape and murder, primarily, sir. It’s more complicated than that though. The natural food sources on Aeia are toxic, and not fit for human consumption. The survivors have been here for ten years, forced to either consume the food of this planet or starve to death as Acting Captain Taylor horded the salvaged rations for himself and his officers,” Shepard said. “He killed his officers after the beacon was fixed. Taylor is the only one here still alive not affected by some sort of neural decay caused by the food. There are a lot sick people here, sir, and some of them have gone feral and are attacking.”

            Shepard heard Hackett’s chair squeak. “I see. I can have a medical transport team there in two days. Can you hold Taylor until then?”

            _“Two days? We’re going to wait here for two days? But the reapers are coming. We have to stop them before it’s too late,”_ Jane said.

            “Two days isn’t going to make or break us, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            “Yes sir. I’ll take him up to the Normandy and establish a ground guard until your team arrives,” Shepard said.

            “Thank you, Commander. Hackett out,” he said before disconnecting the call.

            “EDI, forward Admiral Hackett the coordinates and patch me through to Dr. Chakwas,” Shepard said.

            “Patching you through, Commander,” EDI said.

            _“But The Dissension and the collectors … there’s so much to do,”_ Jane said.

            “What is it, Commander? What’s happened? Are you alright?” Dr. Chakwas shot out the rapid-fire questions faster than Shepard could think to answer.

            “I’m fine doc. We’ve got a situation groundside. There are a lot of sick people down here, they’ve consumed local food sources and it’s caused what is being called ‘neural decay’. Some of them have become violent. I’ve got Hackett sending in a medical transport and I am securing a prisoner for them until they arrive,” Shepard said.

“Oh dear,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“I figure while we’re waiting, it wouldn’t hurt to see if you can help them at all. Make sure to leave enough medical supplies to cover us for a few days until we can restock, but otherwise use what you can to help these people,” Shepard said. “I’ll have EDI get a shuttle and a guard team set up.”

“I’ll start gathering supplies,” Dr. Chakwas said.

“Thanks, doc,” Shepard said.

“Of course, Commander,” she said.

When the call was disconnected Shepard told EDI to send down Zaeed and Grunt with Dr. Chakwas. She told her to relay to them the importance that they bring water and rations to last them a day because under no circumstances were they to consume anything on Aeia. Shepard would rotate them out after six to eight hours depending on how things went, but it was better to have more than what they needed just in case. With the orders given, Shepard ended the call and made her way back over to the others.

 _“I don’t want to stay here,”_ Jane said.

“We’ll go back to the ship for the night, but I’m not leaving until the Alliance gets here. Look at these people, Jane. Half of them would be dead by the time help arrived if we just left them like this,” Shepard thought.

            “The Alliance is on the way with a medical transport. They’ll be here in two days. We’re taking Ron here to the Normandy until they arrive. I’m having Dr. Chakwas and a guard team sent down. We’ll wait until they land before we leave. I want to make sure that the others won’t be attacked in our absence,” Shepard said. “Samara, make sure Ron here doesn’t get any bright ideas of running. Miranda, with me. Ron, if I were you, I’d sit real still because I’m pretty sure the only reason Samara hasn’t snapped your neck under the heel of her boot is because I haven’t told her it was OK, and quite frankly, if you try to run I’m not going to care if she kills you.”

            Samara smiled serenely at Shepard. “As you will, Commander.”

            Shepard returned Samara’s smile before turning to Miranda. “Stand watch with Jacob, I’m going to see if these hunters can be reasoned with.”

            “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Commander?” Miranda asked.

            “No, but I’m doing it anyway so keep your eyes open because I’m leaving my guns holstered,” Shepard said.

            “If you insist,” Miranda said.

            “I do,” Shepard said.

            They walked over to where Jacob stood, his pistol still trained on the group of men eyeing his father from a distance. Shepard filled Jacob in on the plan and Miranda took up position next to him.

            “I’m coming over to talk to you, but my guns are staying put away, OK? I just want to talk,” Shepard said.

            They turned their attention to her and began to shuffle about nervously as Shepard held her hands out in front of her and walked towards them. They fidgeted with their stolen pistols, adjusting their grips on them and watching her cautiously but they didn’t raise the weapons. Shepard stopped when she was a few feet away from the closest hunter.

            “My name is Commander Shepard. I’ve called the Alliance and they’re sending ships to take you all away from here. Ronald Taylor is being placed under arrest, he’s going to prison for what he did to you. Do you understand?” Shepard asked.

            “The liar doesn’t deserve prison! The liar deserves death!” one of the men called out.

            _“That’s what I’ve been saying,”_ Jane said.

            “I don’t disagree, but that isn’t my decision to make and unfortunately it isn’t yours either. Now, I would very much like to have you all come back to the camp with the others where you can all be safe until the medical transport arrives, but I need you to put down your weapons to be sure you won’t hurt anyone else,” Shepard said.

            “No! You’re just like the liar! Making false promises!” One of the men raised his gun at Shepard only to jump back with a yelp when one of her team fired at the ground in front of his feet.

            “I want to help you. Medical transport teams are on the way. Please, put down your guns and come back to the camp,” Shepard said again.

            Shepard watched as three of them shook their heads and ran off into the wilderness, disappearing behind the palms and outcrops. Four others hesitantly dropped their guns on the ground and moved towards Shepard, their eyes darting between her and her team. Three others watched, torn and undecided. One of them began to rap his knuckles over and over against the side of his head as he swayed back and forth; looking between Shepard and the trees the others disappeared behind.

            “Listen, it’s OK if you don’t want to come right now. You can join us later if you decide to, just leave your weapons behind,” Shepard said.

            One more let his pistol fall from his hands and moved toward Shepard while the others backed slowly towards the tree line. Shepard stood surrounded by the five feral men who chose to surrender their weapons and come peacefully. They eyed her warily, one of them brave enough to reach out and touch her armor as if to assure himself that she was real. Shepard gestured toward Miranda and Jacob.

            “Come on, the doctor from my ship is on her way down. I don’t know what she’ll be able to do to help you here, but she’ll do what she can while we wait for the Alliance,” Shepard said.

            The men clustered together and shuffled forward toward Miranda and Jacob who at Shepard’s signal lowered their weapons. Samara ordered Ronald to his feet and Shepard’s group formed a wall around him, keeping him separate from the hunters and they made their way slowly back down to the camp. More hunters watched them, perched above on the rocks as they passed. A couple following along at the top of the ridge.

            The women in the camp pushed back to the edges, clustering together and watching with fearful eyes as Shepard escorted their tormentor and the men who had been hunting them into the camp. The woman who had passed the datapad to Jacob was the first one bold enough to come forward.

            “You are … taking him away? Back to the sky?” She asked Jacob.

            “We’re taking you all away. He’s going to prison and the rest of you are getting medical treatment. We’ve got Alliance ships on the way. Tell the other, alright? Tell them you guys are going back to the sky. You’re going home. Help is coming,” Jacob said.

            The woman smiled and Shepard thought she saw a hint of tears in her eyes. “Home … I will tell them … we’re going home.”

            The woman went back to the others to spread the word. Moments later hopeful glances were being cast Shepard’s way. The hunters and women stayed to themselves, separate groups watching the others warily until one woman slowly made her way forward.

            “Him, I know him. I forget his name … but his face, I see it in here,” the woman said tapping her head.

            Shepard turned to look at the group of men, trying to pinpoint the individual the woman was talking about. It wasn’t difficult because he was the only one who had his eyes locked on the woman in front of Shepard with obvious longing.

            “You want to go see him?” Shepard asked, turning back to the woman.

            Tears welled up in her eyes as she nodded her head.

            “Alright, come on.” Shepard guided the woman over to the group of men.

            The others pulled back, leaving the man to stand on his own as Shepard came to a stop a few feet away. The man dropped his eyes to the ground as the woman cautiously moved to him. She reached out a shaky hand and touched his face. He lifted his eyes to her.

            “Lina.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest.

            “Shepard, we’ve landed. We’ve got company though.” Zaeed’s voice broke through Shepard’s comm.

            “Male or female?” Shepard asked.

            “Male. They’ve got guns but they’re just watching us,” Zaeed said. “It’s creeping me out. Do I shoot ‘em or what?”

            “Alright, listen, all of the people here have got something wrong with them. They’re confused and unable to think coherently. The males are more aggressive, territorial. Be prepared to defend Dr. Chakwas but don’t you dare fire first,” Shepard said. “If any of them are close enough to hear you, tell them you’re there to help and that the Alliance is coming with ships to take them all home.”

            “Whatever you say, doll. Where are you?” Zaeed asked.

            “Just follow the path up past the wreckage. It’s a straight shot. I think we got them all but if you see any mechs, take them down,” Shepard said.

            “You got it,” Zaeed said.

            “Jacob, Miranda I want you to take an inventory of this place. See if any of these food stores are still edible. See what we have to work with and clear an area of Dr. Chakwas. See if you can get a head count,” Shepard said.

            “Aye, aye, Commander,” Jacob said moving to the nearest crate with Miranda at his heels.

            By the time Dr. Chakwas arrived with Grunt and Zaeed, several of the women survivors had relaxed enough to try to help Jacob and Miranda. The men still stood around watching everyone with wide, wild eyes ready to fight or flee at the first sign that something wasn’t right. They became increasingly agitated when they laid eyes on Grunt. Shepard cursed herself silently for not considering that they might react negatively towards the intimidating krogan.

            “It’s OK, the krogan is with me, he’s a friend,” Shepard said.

            They relaxed only slightly when a handful of other disarmed hunters followed Grunt into the camp. Dr. Chakwas moved immediately to Miranda and Jacob’s location before she opened her bag and began coaxing the survivors to her to be scanned and their wounds treated. This drew the attention of a couple of the hunters, still intelligent enough to recognize the actions of a doctor. Shepard nodded her head to them and told them to go get checked out before briefing Zaeed and Grunt on what was happening and what she expected of them.

            Zaeed looked over at Ronald, sitting like an obedient dog at Samara’s feet. A look of disgust pulled at the scarred features of the old mercs face and he spit on the ground.

            “Should just kill him. Better yet, cut his nuts off and let these people have at him,” Zaeed said.

            _“I like that idea best,”_ Jane said. _“Let’s do that.”_

“We’re not doing that,” Shepard thought.

            Grunt chuckled.

            “The thought crossed my mind, but Jacob opted to turn him over to the Alliance so that’s what we’re doing,” Shepard said.

            With everything in place, Shepard got Ronald to his feet and prepared to take him back to the shuttle. Jacob insisted that he wanted to stay on the ground and help the survivors as much as he could. Miranda offered to stay as well but Shepard told her she needed to go back to the Normandy and rest. She’d have to rotate out with Dr. Chakwas and Mordin until the Alliance arrived.

            Miranda, Samara, and Shepard led Ronald back to the shuttle, Shepard’s pistol pointed at the back of his head the entire way. She could see hunters watching her from the rocks, and she wanted them to know that their Acting Captain wasn’t getting away with his crimes. They piled into the shuttle, Shepard didn’t lower her weapon until the doors were closed and the shuttle was in the air.

            Shepard took Ronald Taylor to Grunt’s quarters for the time being. She left Samara to watch over him with the promise that she would send someone to replace her soon. Samara insisted it was not a bother to her. Shepard had EDI call everyone else into the comm room for a briefing. She broke down the details of what they had found on Aeia and the fact that they now had a prisoner aboard the Normandy.

            Jack cracked her knuckles. “I’ll guard him.”

            _“That’s a wonderful idea,”_ Jane said.

            “I think it’s probably best that we let the more level-headed individuals guard Mr. Taylor,” Miranda said.

            “I wasn’t talking to you, Barbie,” Jack said.

            Miranda crossed her arms and opened her mouth to respond. Jack smirked and raised an eyebrow in challenge. Shepard held up a hand cutting them both off.

            “I appreciate the offer Jack, we’ll see. We might all have to take turns watching him when we’re not on the ground. Miranda is right though, as disturbed as we all may be over Mr. Taylor’s actions we have to treat him according to Alliance standards until we hand him over to the Alliance,” Shepard said.

            “Lame,” Jack said.

            Shepard smirked and turned her attention back to the group. “Mordin, Miranda, and Dr. Chakwas will rotate with the ground guards so that someone with medical experience is present at all times both on the ship and on the ground. Because of this, they will not be considered to be a part of the guard teams themselves.”

            She looked over the others trying to calculate the best teams. “Garrus, Jack, and Mordin be ready to relieve the ground team in six hours. I’ll relieve you in the morning and work out a rotation from there. Legion, I’m going to have you watch our prisoner through the night cycle so those who require sleep can rest. EDI have Samara notify you when she’s ready to be replaced. Everyone else, rest up while you can. And remember you do not eat or drink anything that you didn’t bring with you while you’re down there. Dismissed.”

            Everyone nodded or spoke their understanding as they began to file out of the room.

            “Jack, got a minute?” Shepard asked.

            Jack leaned against the table and waited for the others to leave. Shepard moved around to lean against the wall in front of her. Thane was the last person to leave, not before casting a concerned glance Shepard’s way. Shepard smiled at him reassuringly before the door closed behind him.

            “What’s up?” Jack asked.

            “Just checking to make sure we’re good. You were gone when we woke up,” Shepard said.

            “Yeah, we’re good,” Jack said.

“You sure?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah. It just got too fucking weird. I mean, I get what you were trying to do … but I had to go,” Jack said. “It was too soft for me.”

            Shepard smiled and nodded. “Afraid you’d wake up with a butterfly tattoo on your ass?”

            “Ha! Look at you trying to make jokes. Good one, Alliance,” Jack said walking out of the comm room. “Good one.”

            Shepard made her way to her cabin to ditch her armor and take a shower before making her way down to the mess hall. As soon as she finished eating, Grundan Krul slid into the seat next to her and set a cup of coffee in front of her. Shepard grinned and wrapped her palms around the warm mug.

            “Thanks. I needed this,” Shepard said.

            “I know,” Grundan Krul said.

            Shepard snorted and nudged his side with her shoulder. A flicker of a smile crossed his face as he sipped from his own mug.

            “So, miss Omega yet?” Shepard asked.

            Grundan Krul shook his head slowly. “Not at all.”

            “Glad to hear it. We’ll be headed back that way soon. I’d hate to have you abandon ship,” Shepard said.

            “There’s a shop there that sells the best coffee. I’ll stock up,” he said.

            _“I guess he’s not so bad. Not that it matters, none of it matters,”_ Jane said.

            “I think I love you. Marry me?” Shepard asked.

            Grundan Krul smiled wide enough to show his sharp teeth and snorted. “Sorry, Shepard. You’ll have to make due with Archangel. You humans are ugly as all hell with your one set of eyes, weird noses, and flat teeth.”

            Shepard gasped in mock offense. “Careful, your sense of humor is showing.”

            “Better than my ass,” Grundan Krul said with a straight face.

            Shepard let her head roll back as she laughed. “Thanks. I think I might have needed the laugh more than the coffee.”

            “I know,” he said.

            Shepard smiled, vaguely aware in the back of her mind how ironic it was for her to become fond of a batarian but he was working his way into her heart just like all the others. She drained her mug and set it on her tray.

            “Make sure to get some sleep tonight. I’m taking you down with me in the morning.” Shepard stood and picked up her tray.

            Grundan Krul dipped his head to her and she patted his shoulder as she walked past him to drop her tray off with Gardner. She hesitated outside of the elevator and glanced at the door to life support. Jane stilled before retreating back to the recesses of Shepard’s mind. She chewed on her lip and turned on her heels. Shepard knocked quietly on the door to life support before entering. Thane sat in his usual chair, his hands clasped in front of his face. He turned to look over his shoulder as she walked in.

            “Can we talk?” Shepard asked.

            “Of course, Siha,” Thane said.

            Shepard walked across the room to stand in front of the observation window. She looked out at the mass effect core, listening to its quiet hum and feeling its energy prick at her skin even from there. Thane sat silently, watching her.

            “What happened earlier wasn’t your fault, you can’t take the blame for that. I won’t let you,” Shepard said.

            Thane didn’t speak.

            “I got a little too _enthusiastic_ when already in an emotional state and left the door open for Jane to try to step through, but that’s on me, not you. I’d like to promise you that it won’t happen again, but I can’t. I get it though, if you decide that isn’t something you want to deal with,” Shepard said.

            “My timing was unfortunate. I should have been more considerate of the fact that you were processing stressful news. I acted selfishly, seizing the moment before I could let doubt set in.” Thane spoke softly. “That I do not regret.”

            Shepard turned to face him, leaning her back against the glass. He stood three feet away, his hands tucked behind his back. She hadn’t heard him move, but it wasn’t a surprise.

            “I … lost myself in the moment and am ashamed that I didn’t realize your … reaction was not yours alone,” Thane said.

            Shepard smiled and shook her head. “Don’t be mistaken, Krios. Yeah, Jane and the others are always there and they have a way of amplifying what I’m feeling but that … that was mostly me going after what I’ve been wanting but didn’t think I was allowed to have.”

            “You were rather enthusiastic. Intense.” Thane smirked and took a step closer to her. “It was … intriguing.”

            Shepard rolled her eyes and shook her head, even as the blush crept into her cheeks. Thane stepped closer still and pushed her hair away from her neck before trailing his fingers down her throat.

            “Perhaps we can use your _enthusiasm_ to aid in your training.” Thane leaned toward her, his lips posed to kiss her but when Shepard leaned into him to press her lips to his he pulled back again.

            Shepard watched him with a growing hunger.

            “To teach you patience.” He brushed his lips softly against hers.

            Shepard wrapped a hand around the base of his skull and tried to pull him to her but he resisted. Thane slid his hand up to meet hers and gently pulled it away, tucking her hand behind her back. Shepard raised an eyebrow.

            “To teach you self-restraint.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers again.

            Shepard growled softly when his lips pulled away again.

            “And perhaps, to teach you to accept suffering,” Thane said.

            “Sadist,” Shepard said with a smirk. “You have to know that there’s nothing submissive about me.”

            “Indeed, Siha. I do not ask you to submit to my will.” Thane nuzzled against her neck, dragging his lips across her skin. “I ask you to commit to your training, so there will be a time that I needn’t worry about … becoming lost in the moment.”

            Shepard squirmed. “I have conditions.”

            “I’m listening,” Thane said.

            “If you want to include this in my training, it stays in training. Designated time and place. Outside of that, we simply enjoy each other’s presence however we see fit,” Shepard said.

            “Agreed,” Thane whispered in her ear.

            “Two more things,” Shepard said.

            “Name them,” he said.

            “You can never hesitate to take me down if things go bad. It isn’t going to change how I feel,” Shepard said.

            “I will do as I must. What else?” Thane asked, his lips tracing a line across her throat.

            Shepard’s body trembled in response. “It doesn’t start now.”

            Thane moved his mouth to hers, claiming her tongue with his own. Shepard wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, reveling in the feel of his hand cupping her face while the other pressed against her lower back. After a few moments, she pulled away and rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes. Her chest heaved as she tried to control her breathing.

            “Siha, is it too much?” Thane asked.

            She knew he was asking if Jane was pushing for control, Shepard smiled and shook her head. “No, but I’m very near the point where it isn’t enough. I don’t want to rush you, so I’m showing some self-restraint.”

            “Ah.” Thane let his hands slip away from her.

            Shepard cleared her throat. “Um, so I’ll see you in the morning first thing.”

            “Indeed,” Thane said turning to the side so she could walk past.

            Shepard started toward the door but Thane’s hand wrapped around her wrist and tugged her back to him. He pressed his lips to hers before she could protest pulling them away again too quickly for her taste.

            “Goodnight, Siha,” he said.

            Shepard smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her there until she pulled away again.

            “Goodnight, Thane,” Shepard said.

            Shepard was in her cabin an hour later filling out a report for Hackett when Garrus came in. She looked over her shoulder at him as he came to stand beside her, resting a hand on her back. She smiled up at him.

            “Hey, how are you?” Shepard asked.

            “I’m worried, Shepard. This thing with Sparatus and The Dissension could get real ugly,” Garrus said.

            Jane began to stir once more. Shepard really didn’t want to get her started again, but she needed to be supportive. Jane had been right, Garrus wasn’t taking this well at all.

            Shepard nodded. “Yeah, it could. I’m worried, too. We’ll figure it out, Garrus.”

            “Hmmm. We shouldn’t have to. It shouldn’t be our job, but Spirits know the Council won’t do it themselves,” Garrus said.

            Shepard snorted. “They’re actually being far more useful this time.”

            “If that’s the case, I’d hate to see how it was for Jane.” He rubbed small circles on her back. “What are you working on?”

            “A report on Aeia for Hackett,” Shepard said.

            Garrus moved his hand to the back of her chair and pulled the chair back, dragging her away from her desk and turning her to face him. “Sooo, it can wait.”

            Shepard laughed. “It can wait.”

            Garrus put a hand on either side of her chair and leaned down close to her, taking in her scent. “I’m glad you two worked things out. I’m surprised he’s not in here with you.”

            “I care about him, Garrus. I don’t want to rush this with him too much. The whole idea of sharing a lover with someone else is new for him. I never imagined he’d agree to something like this,” Shepard said.

            “You have an alarming way of convincing people to see things your way, Commander.” Garrus leaned in and nipped at her neck, opposite of where Thane’s scent was the strongest.

            Shepard tilted her head to the side, exposing her neck to him and caressed his head just beneath his crest.

“Come to bed with me, Dawn. Help me forget that we might soon be considered enemies at war.” His voice was strained, his sub-vocals heavy with worry.

“We’ll never be enemies, Garrus. I don’t give a damn what our species decide to do,” Shepard said.

 _“Never,”_ Jane said.

Garrus tugged at her hand. Shepard closed her laptop and left the chair, letting Garrus lead her down to the bed.

           

           

           


	28. Chapter 27: Coexist

**Chapter 27: Coexist**

            Shepard leaned against a crate in the hangar catching her breath. She ran the towel over her face before draping it over her shoulder. Thane stood in front of her with his hands tucked behind his back, waiting for her to decide where he would spend his day.

            “I’d like to keep you on the ship during the hotter parts of the day; it gets humid down there so close to the ocean. I’ll send you down overnight when it’s dark and not so bad. You can take over for Legion this morning and watch our prisoner for a few hours. That’ll give you time between to rest if you can.” Shepard rubbed the towel over her face again. “Grundan Krul, Kasumi, and Miranda will go down with me to replace Garrus, Jack, and Mordin. I’m going to have to order Jacob to come back to the ship.”

            “He has not returned yet?” Thane asked.

            Shepard shook her head. “No, he wants to help fix what his dad did to those people. I get it, but there’s really not much he can do and exhausting himself isn’t going to help anyone.”

            _“Leave him alone. He needs this, and I never thought to give it to him,”_ Jane said.

            Thane nodded and turned his eyes to the ground.

            “You’re thinking about Kolyat, aren’t you?” Shepard asked.

            “There have been whispers among some of the Cerberus crew since Mr. Taylor was brought aboard.” Thane turned his eyes back to Shepard. “Some people might believe that the things I have done in my life are as wicked as those done by Mr. Taylor and although Jacob was not a small boy, his father disappeared from his life. It is not difficult to see the parallels.”

            _“You can’t compare apples to oranges,”_ Jane said. _“It’s not even the same league of wicked.”_

            Shepard pushed away from the crate. “Thane, I don’t pretend to know all of the details of your life but taking lives professionally pales in comparison to the utterly repulsive choices that Ronald Taylor made not only as a man, but as a leader. So unless you can tell me that in his position you would have done the same thing to the people under your command, you are _nothing_ like that piece of shit. I’m not saying that all of your choices have been stellar, but who hasn’t made bad choices along the way? I sure as hell have.”

            Thane smiled. “It pleases me to hear you say so, Siha.”

            Shepard shook her head and snorted. “Look, we don’t live in a galaxy of black and whites. I know you’re no saint, Thane. Some of the others weren’t always as accepting of what you do, I’m not going to pretend that they were but not a single one of them would think that you compare to Ronald Taylor.”

            Shepard slid her arms around his neck and laced her fingers together behind his head. A part of her marveled at the fact that the galaxy’s greatest assassin had come to trust her enough to allow her to do that. Shepard smiled as his hands found her waist and pulled her a little closer despite the sweat soaking through her shirt.

            “And let’s face it; I’m the _great_ Commander Shepard. At the end of the day, my body count is far higher than yours,” Shepard said.

            _“Significantly, but we are a part of the Alliance Navy and not a glorified hitman,”_ Jane said.

            He chuckled. “Indeed.”

            She gave him a quick kiss and pulled away. “I better get going. I’ve got to shower and get groundside.”

            Thane fell into step next to Shepard as she made her way to the elevator. “Will you … be spending your time with Garrus when you return?”

            _“He means will you make time for him later,”_ Jane said.

            “Yeah, I got it. Thanks, Jane but I don’t need you to translate for me,” Shepard thought.

            “Mmm. I’ve got a report I need to finish for Hackett, and I was hoping to spend some time with you if you’re up for it, but yes, I’ll likely be spending some time with Garrus as well,” Shepard said.

            She thought she saw his shoulders relax a fraction as he smiled.

            “I would very much like that, Siha,” Thane said.

            Shepard stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for her cabin. Her finger hovered over the button for the fourth deck as she raised an eyebrow to Thane in question. He nodded his head and she hit the button for the fourth deck as well.

            “Just make sure you’re ready for guard duty tonight. I need you alert down there,” Shepard said.

            Thane smirked and his brows twitched in response.

            “Yeah, yeah, badass assassin is always alert. I got it.” Shepard leaned against the elevator wall. “Trust me, the bruises I have from training with you make that clear.”  

            “Am I too rough with you?” Thane asked.

            _“Please, he already pulls his punches and we’ve had far, far worse,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard mimicked the look he just gave her and he laughed. The elevator door slid open and Thane stepped out, making his way towards port cargo to watch Ronald. The elevator slid closed again and took Shepard up to her cabin. She stripped down as soon as the cabin door slid closed behind her.

            “EDI, tell Miranda, Grundan Krul, and Kasumi to be ready to go down in twenty minutes,” Shepard said.

            “Right away, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

            “Of course, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard stepped into the bathroom and took a quick shower before getting dressed and suiting up. She checked all of her weapons and made her way to the hangar. The shuttle had already been stocked with rations and water, as well as extra medical supplies. Her team arrived a couple of minutes after her and once they were all in the shuttle they left the Normandy for Aeia.      

            “EDI, patch me through to the ground team,” Shepard said.

            A moment later Shepard heard the click in her earpiece telling her she was connected to the ground team’s comms. “This is Shepard. We’re on our way down. Any trouble down there?”

            “Hey, Alliance. Not really, this shit is boring as hell. Had a few of the men try some territorial bullshit over one of the supply crates. I floated one and Garrus put another on his ass with a concussive shot, the rest scattered,” Jack responded.

            “Any more stragglers come in?” Shepard asked.

            “Shit Shepard, I’m not keeping a damn count,” Jack said.

            “Well, where’s Garrus?” Shepard asked.

            “I’m here, Shepard. Sorry, I had my hands full helping Mordin. Three more have come in on this shift. They’re all starting to get restless though. I don’t think they understand why we aren’t just taking them away on the Normandy,” Garrus said.

            “Alright. Thanks for the update. See you on the ground,” Shepard said.

            “No problem, Shepard. See you soon,” Garrus said.

            When the shuttle landed next to the other, Shepard’s eyes went to the ridges above as they climbed out of the shuttle. She could feel the eyes on her, even if she couldn’t pick out the faces amidst the trees. She caught movement from above once or twice on the way up to the camp but the hunters that watched her remained hidden.

            They were welcomed into the camp by several of the female survivors who avoided Grundan Krul with wary looks even while pushing to surround the humans in the group. Shepard stood firm by Grundan Krul’s side, trying to make it clear that he was with her and safe for them to be around. Garrus spotted them and gently pushed through the crowd of women to get to Shepard.

            “Jacob and I got most of what was salvageable moved down from the second camp while most of them slept. Those two over there have been awake since I got here; they seem to be trying to help guard the place. I’m not sure if they’re expecting company or if they’ve just decided the camp belongs to them now.” Garrus pointed at two men pacing the perimeter of the camp.

            “I’ll keep an eye on them. Where’s Jacob?” Shepard asked glancing around the camp.

            “He’s up at the second camp, digging through his father’s logs. It’s not good, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            _“He’s just looking for answers. Wouldn’t you be doing the same thing if you were in his shoes?”_ Jane asked.

            “Yeah. Yeah, I would,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard nodded. “I’m going to go talk to him. I’m sending him back to the Normandy with you.” Shepard turned to look at Miranda. “Go ahead and have Mordin brief you so you can take over. Kasumi, Grundan Krul, pick a spot and keep your eyes open. Remember, you don’t eat or drink anything we didn’t bring with us.”

            Shepard left them to their tasks and made her way up the trail. Someone had moved the bodies of the hunters from the previous day’s battles. They had been cleared from the paths and laid out in rows off to the side, their eyes closed and their hands folded over their stomachs. Shepard had a feeling it was Jacob’s idea, he might have even done it all himself. She saw Jacob off in the distance, sitting on a crate looking at a datapad in his hand. When she got close enough she rapped her armored knuckles against a crate to draw his attention.

            Jacob looked up at the sound and put the datapad down before slipping down from the crate. When Shepard reached him she studied his eyes and frowned. They were bloodshot with exhaustion and the ghosts his father left to haunt him.

            _“He looks like shit,”_ Jane said.

            “Commander,” Jacob said before turning to point at the crates around him, “These are all spoiled. Those over there have a few supplies that might be of use at the camp; tarps, rope, that kind of thing –.”

            “Jacob, you need to go back to the Normandy now,” Shepard said. “I can handle the crates.”

            “I’m OK, Commander, really. I just –,” Jacob said.

            Shepard put her hand on his shoulder. “It’s not a request, Jacob. You’re going to go back up to the Normandy, you’re going to eat some hot crap that Gardner fixes you, you’re going to take a shower, and then you’re going to sleep for at least six hours before I let you come down here again.”

            Jacob dropped his head and Shepard saw his jaw clench. He wanted to argue, but when it came down to it, Jacob was a good soldier who wouldn’t argue with his CO. He nodded his head and looked back up at her.

            “Yes, ma’am,” Jacob said with a salute.

            “Good, now that that’s out of the way … I’m sorry, Jacob. Gods, I’m so sorry,” Shepard said.

            Jacob looked around him with vacant eyes, not really seeing anything. “I just don’t get it, Shepard. I’m trying to understand but I just can’t. It’s sickening, what he did here.”

            “There aren’t any good answers for this. I wish there were, but there aren’t and nothing you find in those logs is going to suddenly make all of this make sense,” Shepard said.

            “I know. I guess I’m just hoping that I’ll find something, some indication that he knew what he was doing was wrong. Or maybe he cracked, you know? Maybe he’s got a mental illness or … something. Damn.” Jacob looked at her with pleading eyes, begging her to understand.

            _“I think he wants you to give him the answer,”_ Jane said.

            “There is no answer. The man is a repulsive piece of shit,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard turned standing side by side to him and put her hand on his upper back. She patted him a couple of times and nodded her head.

            “Maybe he does. Come on, the others are waiting for you,” Shepard said.

            Jacob walked with Shepard back towards the camp, keeping his eyes resolutely away from the corpses that lined their path. Shepard left her hand on his back, guiding him forward.

            “Garrus said you’ve got a guard rotation on him,” Jacob said.

            “Yeah, he’s in the port cargo. Thane’s watching him now. I imagine Grunt’s in there too, but probably asleep,” Shepard said. “He’s not going anywhere.”

            “I don’t want to see him again, Shepard. I know that you need to keep the rotation, and I don’t want to put anyone out but …” Jacob said.

            “I had no intention of putting you in there with him,” Shepard said.

            “Good. Thank you,” Jacob said. “I’m afraid of what I might do to him, Shepard.”

            She patted his back again. “I know.”

            _“What might we do if we see him again?”_ Jane asked.

            “We won’t do anything,” Shepard thought.

            _“Are you sure? You want to beat him to death, squeeze the life from him with your hands. I can see it, don’t pretend it’s not there,”_ Jane said.

            “I’m not pretending it isn’t there, but it doesn’t mean we’re going to act on it. We’re giving him over to the Alliance,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard escorted Jacob over to where the others waited and watched as they headed back to the shuttles. When they rounded a corner and disappeared from her sight she turned back to the camp. The men and women who called this place home for the last ten years were looking significantly better than they were the day before. Minor wounds had been cleaned and wrapped. Larger wounds cleaned, treated with Medi-gel as necessary and wrapped. The men women were becoming more trustful of the hunters’ presence and Shepard could see them working together to survive the whole mess. An hour into her watch, Shepard got a call from the shuttle.

            “Shuttle One to ground team, do you read me?” The voice of Crewman Jenny Goldstein sounded panicked as it cut through Shepard’s comms.

            “We read you, Shuttle One. This is Commander Shepard, what’s going on?” Shepard asked.

            “There are men with weapons trying to get into the shuttle, ma’am,” Jenny said. “They’re all around; if I start the shuttle the ones in the back will be burned by the shuttle’s boosters.”

            “Alright, lock the shuttle down. We’re on our way,” Shepard said.

            “Yes ma’am,” Jenny said.

            “Kasumi, stay here. Grundan Krul, with me,” Shepard said into her comm.

            Grundan Krul ran across the camp to Shepard’s side. Kasumi and Miranda watched from their locations, frowns etched into their faces. They didn’t like her going off without full back up but she wasn’t going to leave the camp undefended. Shepard tapped her comm again.

            “I need you guys at the camp. We’ve got this,” Shepard said.

            Shepard watched as the two women nodded to her in acknowledgment before she headed out of the camp. A few feet outside she drew her pistol and checked the thermal clips; Grundan Krul wordlessly did the same. They jogged down the path, stopping at the bend to peer around the corner of the outcrop. The shuttle was surrounded by hunters; Shepard counted five in her line of sight. There were likely more on the other side. They were trying to get into the shuttle, banging and pulling at the doors. Two of them had climbed on top and were firing down at the shuttle’s roof, their weapons inferior and out of date by ten years did nothing to the shuttle’s more advanced shielding.

            “Drop your weapons and step away from the shuttle. We are here to help you, but if you persist, I will shoot,” Shepard yelled at the group of men.

            One of the men on the roof of the shuttle turned his gun on Shepard and fired. She ducked behind the outcropping but needn’t have bothered because his shot hit the rock about three feet away from where she was. Shepard growled in frustration.

            _“You didn’t really expect that to work, did you?”_ Jane asked.

            “Alliance medical transport is on their way, they will be here to take you all off of this planet tomorrow. Drop your weapons and come to the camp peacefully. There’s no reason for you to die here,” Shepard yelled.

            “Liar! You come to take his place. You … steal the food. The … the guns! We won’t let you.” The man who took the shot at her tried to take aim again.

            Shepard didn’t hesitate; she aimed for his leg and pulled the trigger. He screamed in agony as his leg buckled. He dropped to his knees on the shuttle roof, his pistol skittering across the surface before sliding off and hitting the ground. Immediately, more bullets flooded her location forcing her back into cover.

            “Don’t shoot to kill if you can help it,” she told Grundan Krul.

            He nodded his head before returning fire. The fight didn’t last long; the hunters were ill equipped and any training they might have had before was now lost to the neural decay. Shepard could have handled them on her own if she had needed to. She thought anyone on her team probably could have handled them alone if needed, even Lia had gotten in enough training that as long as they hadn’t swarmed her, she could have handled the group of men.

            When the last man fell, Shepard tapped her mic. “Shuttle One, this is Commander Shepard, do you read?”

            Jenny’s shaky voice responded, “Shuttle One reads.”

            “You alright in there, Jenny?” Shepard asked.

            “You – yes ma’am. They weren’t able to breech the shuttle, and external damage appears minimal. The shuttle will be safe to return when you’re ready, ma’am,” Jenny said.

            “That’s good to hear. I’m going to get the wounded back to the camp and then we’ll take care of the dead. Let us know if you have any more problems,” Shepard said.

            “Yes ma’am,” Jenny said.

            Shepard and Grundan Krul secured the wounded; those that could walk were made to walk in front of them back to the camp where they were watched over by Kasumi while Miranda tended to their wounds. Those that couldn’t walk were carried back on makeshift stretchers. When all was said and done, there were eight more unwilling additions to the camp and three more bodies to be lain out with the others.

            The men who had been at the camp since the day before pushed in around the new hunters, acting aggressively and using intimidating posturing in a territorial display that made Shepard nervous. She assumed that this meant that not all of the exiled crew had banded together, but formed factions amongst themselves and these groups were rivals. The two men who had been acting as guards refused to leave their self-imposed posts but watched the new group with an intensity that forewarned of trouble.

            “Shit,” Shepard said. “We’ve got to get them separate and keep them apart.”

            _“How are you going to keep them apart in this little camp? It’s not even fortified. There’s hardly any shelter. You could move some of them up to Taylor’s camp, but then you’d have to separate the team,”_ Jane said.

            Grundan Krul helped Shepard with crowd control, pushing and coaxing the first group away from the injured second group. The women huddled together as the men pushed against Shepard and Grundan Krul, testing the seriousness of Shepard’s warnings. Shepard drew her pistol and fired it into the ground at one of the more aggressive man’s feet. He snarled at her but backed away, the others followed him.

            “EDI, we’re going to need a couple of extra guards down here. Things just got a little more complicated at the camp. Send me Legion and Lia,” Shepard said into her mic. “Recall the shuttle once they’ve landed and removed Lia’s supplies.”

            _“You’re not going to put Legion and Lia at Taylor’s camp with these men, are you? Lia isn’t ready for that and Legion won’t be able to differentiate between posturing and real threat,”_ Jane said.

            “At once, Shepard,” EDI replied.

            “No, I’m not sending anyone to the second camp. We just need more people down here now. We’ll figure something out,” Shepard thought.

            “Shuttle One, do you read?” Shepard said.

            “Shuttle One reads,” Jenny said.

            “I’m having more guards sent to the ground. When the second shuttle lands, let them move supplies from Shuttle Two to Shuttle One and then lock the shuttle back down. Shuttle Two won’t be staying,” Shepard said.

            “Yes ma’am,” Jenny said.

            Shepard, Grundan Krul, and Kasumi stood between the two groups marking the invisible line she had forbidden the other group to cross. For the time being, the second group of hunters were injured and in no condition to defend themselves let alone provoke further aggression but soon they would be back on their feet and Shepard needed expectations made clear and order enforced before then. Her tension eased when Legion and Lia arrived.

            Shepard didn’t know if the immediate response to Legion’s presence was recognition of what exactly Legion was, or simply the ingrained wariness the hunters had developed from Ronald’s mechs. Either way, he definitely gave the hunters pause and most of the women as well. Lia looked around, taking in the conditions and shook her head softly. With Legion and Lia there to help hold the line, Shepard made her way back to Ronald’s camp to dig through the supplies crate Jacob had pointed out earlier.

            _“Marking boundaries? Do you think that level of symbolism will mean anything to them in their current mental state?”_ Jane asked.

            “Worth a try,” Shepard muttered.

            She returned dragging ropes and tarps with her to string up through the camp to build a partition. She hoped that maybe with clearly defined boundaries, even if they were insubstantial, the two groups might settle down. Legion helped her to string up the tarps and moved a few crates for her to help secure the boundaries.

            The day passed in waves of tension. As more and more of the injured hunters got back on their feet and were moving around, they tested Shepard’s resolve to keep them in the camp. When they realized that they weren’t actually being held prisoner, and she would let them slip away if they really wanted to, all but two chose to stay. A few scuffles broke out but they were easily resolved by the looming presence of Legion, Shepard, or Grundan Krul.

Mordin had set up a way to distill the ocean water and fresh water was made readily available to them. The remaining food stores were rationed out, feeding all of the survivors equally. There was more than enough left for them to make it through the next few days if help was delayed without them needing to resort to eating the local food sources.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, Shepard hunkered down in a place of shade and let her mind drift. The women of the group had taken to the softer, more feminine natures present in Kasumi and Lia, something Shepard almost all together lacked. She watched as Kasumi ran her gloved fingers through a woman’s hair before twisting it into a braid. The woman beamed at Kasumi with that childlike innocence that the neural decay had caused in them, and that Ronald and his officers took advantage of.

It wasn’t long before one of the women came to sit with Shepard. She was the one who had given Jacob the datapad the day before, and a thousand times before in Shepard’s memories. Shepard smiled as she settled down onto the crate next to her.

“What will happen … to us?” she asked.

“The Alliance will take you all someplace safe, I’m not sure where. Earth maybe? You’ll receive medical treatment. They’ll see if they can find a way to fix the neural decay. Your relatives will be notified, and if you’re healthy enough, you’ll go home to your families,” Shepard said.

“I can’t – I can’t remember family.” The woman glanced down at her empty hands as if they would hold the answers for her.

“That’s OK. The Alliance will have the logs from the Gernsback, they’ll be able to identify all of you and they can use that to see if there is anyone they should contact for you,” Shepard said.

“I am afraid. I want to … go back to the sky … to home but I am different now. I can’t … I was smart. Important. Now it’s all … gone.” The woman sobbed next to Shepard and tears started streaming down her face.

 _“Damn him. I hope they throw him in the worst prison we’ve got,”_ Jane said.

“Hey, hey, don’t give up hope now. You know how strong you are? You survived ten years in this mess. Help is finally here, you’ll get through this. I don’t know what’s in store for you but I know that it takes a hell of a lot of strength to endure what you’ve endured, and I know that if you put that same strength into getting better, you will,” Shepard said.

The woman sniffled and looked at Shepard with hope.

“I don’t know if things will ever be the same as they were before, but you have a chance at a real life again. Don’t be afraid. Be excited,” Shepard said.

She wiped at her eyes and smiled at Shepard before nodding her head resolutely. Shepard’s omni-tool beeped at her and she pushed a button to turn the alarm off. Her team’s eight-hour shift was up.

“It’s time for a shift change. We’ve got to go back to our ship, but some others will be down here before we leave. The Alliance ships should be here sometime tomorrow,” Shepard said.

“What is your name?” The woman stood up when Shepard did, her voice sounded urgent as she spoke.

Shepard smiled and said, “Commander Shepard. You can just call me Shepard. That over there is Miranda. That one is Kasumi, and next to her is Lia. That’s Grundan Krul, and that is Legion.”

Shepard had introduced herself to everyone the day before, and had already had to remind several people who she was as the day wore on. The survivors would forget who she was and why she was there, some would come running up to her excitedly as if seeing her for the first time and ask if she had come from the sky. It was the third time she had told the woman her name today. It was heartbreaking.

“Shepard.” She seemed to test the name, rolling it around on her tongue. “I can’t remember my name.”

“I know. I’m sorry. When the Alliance comes, they’ll help you remember your name,” Shepard said.

Shepard left the woman standing next to the crates as she whispered Shepard’s name over and over to herself in an attempt to make it stick. She had done the same thing earlier as well. Shepard called EDI and asked EDI to send down the next team. Dr. Chakwas would replace Miranda, and Samara, Grunt, and Jacob would replace her team. EDI assured Shepard that Jacob had followed her orders; returning to the ship to eat, shower, and sleep. Jacob had asked EDI to wake him exactly six hours after he fell asleep, he wasn’t willing to miss a minute more. Legion agreed to stay behind to give additional support since he did not require food or rest. He would return after the next shift. Mordin, Thane, Jack, Zaeed, and Garrus would take the night watch. She wouldn’t force Jacob to return to the Normandy again until morning, if he didn’t decide on his own to return at the end of the next shift.

When the shuttle arrived, Shepard filled the replacements in on the day’s activities explaining the need to keep the two groups of hunters separate. Dr. Chakwas frowned at the idea, but said she understood the necessity. Jacob definitely didn’t look like he was at the top of his game, but Shepard kept her thoughts to herself. He had been gone long enough that some of the women and hunters had forgotten who he was, and responded to him just as they had when they arrived the day before. Fearful of the resemblance he held to his father, they shied away from him or acted aggressively. Shepard stayed long enough to get the new team settled in and tried to help the women and hunters remember who Jacob was, when that failed, she simply told them that he wasn’t Ronald Taylor and he was there to help.

Shepard made her way back to the shuttle, hoping that they would accept Jacob and it wouldn’t lead to an incident. They all knew that it was their duty to protect the survivors, even from each other, but priority stood with their own lives and safety no matter what. If things got ugly, Shepard knew she very well may get a call telling her that they’d lost half the survivors. Still, Jacob needed this and she wouldn’t deny him.

They piled into Shuttle One where Jenny smiled back at Shepard. Shepard thought it kind of odd, because she had always been one of the crewmen who did their best to avoid Shepard. Maybe Shepard coming to her rescue earlier had sparked some warmth from the other woman. Shepard returned the smile and nodded, telling Jenny they were ready to go. The shuttle took off and Shepard leaned her head against the shuttle wall, glad to be off of Aeia for the time being.

When the shuttle arrived at the Normandy, Shepard waited around for Jenny to go through the shutdown process and exit the shuttle.

“You handled yourself well out there today, Crewman Goldstein,” Shepard said.

“Thank you, Commander. I – I didn’t think you even knew my name,” Jenny said.

“Of course I know your name. I know everyone’s name on my ship, it’s important to me and it helps me do my job,” Shepard said.

“I just – we all know that you hate Cerberus, and we just assumed …” Jenny said.

 _“That’s an understatement,”_ Jane said.

“That it means I hate all of you as well?” Shepard supplied the rest of the young woman’s statement.

“Yes ma’am,” Jenny said.

 _“That doesn’t even make sense. They see us working with Jacob and Miranda. We talk to Kelley daily, even if it just is to get updates. We’re friendly with Gardner … why would they think it means we hate them just because they’re Cerberus?”_ Jane asked.

“To be fair, I haven’t gone out of my way to convince them I’m their friend,” Shepard thought.

“I don’t know any of you enough to hate you. Most of you get quiet when I’m around, some of you give me wary looks, but you put up that wall. I’m not going to try to bulldoze that wall; it isn’t my job to make you guys like me. It’s my job to make sure that you respect me and follow orders,” Shepard said. “If you guys get tired of that wall being there, well, knock the damn thing down.”

“Of course. Yes ma’am, thank you, ma’am,” Jenny said.

Shepard did her best not to cringe at the excessive use of the word ‘ma’am’ and smiled at the shuttle pilot before heading to the elevator. She took the elevator up to her cabin and happily ditched her armor before going down to the mess hall. She had barely sat down when she was joined by Miranda. Shepard smiled but saw the serious look on Miranda’s face and groaned.

“What is it?” Shepard asked.

“Commander, you didn’t come by my office after yesterday’s … incident before going to Aeia and since then we have all been preoccupied. I think it would be best if you were to come to my office for scans once you’ve eaten,” Miranda said.

 _“What kind of scans? Is it just scans? She’s not going to cut into us, is she?”_ Jane asked.

“Just scans, Jane. Just scans,” Shepard thought.

Shepard groaned and heard a chuff from behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see Garrus standing a few feet away, his arms crossed over his chest. He walked closer and looked down at Shepard, flaring his mandibles.

“She’ll be there, Miranda, even if I have to drag her in myself,” Garrus said.

“Thank you, Garrus. It’s good to see that at least someone is being reasonable about this.” Miranda stood and made her way to her office.

 _“Traitor. He’s supposed to be on our side,”_ Jane said.

“Not cool, Vakarian,” Shepard said.

Garrus chuffed again and straddled the bench next to her. “Maybe not, but you’ll forgive me.”

“What makes you so sure?” Shepard asked.

 _“He’s Garrus. We’d forgive him anything. I’d forgive him anything … even if he can’t forgive me,”_ Jane said.

“Maybe he just needs more time … and for you to not cause any more problems,” Shepard thought.

“Hmmm.” He leaned in close, and spoke softly, just above a whisper in her ear. “Because I know how to make you see heaven.”

 _“I’m only trying to save us all,”_ Jane said.

Shepard snorted and Garrus sat back with an impish grin. “I’ve got news for you, Vakarian. I can get myself there alllll by myself with just these two little fingers. Only one, really, if I tried.”

Shepard heard the familiar sound of Thane clearing his throat from behind her. She scrunched up her face at Garrus.

“He heard all of that, didn’t he?” Shepard asked.

Jane laughed. It was a delightful sound to Shepard when it didn’t have that maniacal edge.

Garrus smiled at her, his mandibles fluttering. “Join us, Krios. Shepard was just telling me the most fascinating story.”

“Ass.” Shepard slapped Garrus’ armored chest eliciting a throaty chuckle from him.

She looked over her shoulder at Thane and smiled. “Hey, what’s up? Sit with us?”

“I was just curious about how things were progressing on Aeia. I was … concerned when you called for reinforcements and EDI was unable to provide me with significant details. We can talk about it later, though, I don’t wish to interrupt.” Thane started to turn away when Shepard called out to him.

“Stay, Thane. Have a seat. Consider this your first lesson,” Shepard said.

 _“You really think this thing with the both of them will work out?”_ Jane asked.

“I really hope so,” Shepard thought.

Thane dipped his head and turned back to the table. “Very well, Siha.”

“Garrus, stop trying to bait him,” Shepard said.

“I’m not trying to bait him, I’m just trying to get him to relax,” Garrus said. “Lesson for what?”

“On how to deal with an ornery turian,” Shepard said.

Thane settled into the seat across from Shepard. “He has not offended me.”

 _“Not that he would admit it if he had,”_ Jane said.

“Probably not,” Shepard thought.

“See? No harm no foul,” Garrus said pushing a lock of Shepard’s hair behind her ear, “Is that how the saying goes?”

Shepard smiled at the intimate gesture, but couldn’t help but notice that Thane glanced away. It would definitely take time for him to adjust to the idea of watching another man touch someone he was becoming involved with.

“Yeah, that’s how it goes,” Shepard said. “A group of the feral men attacked the shuttle while we were at the camp. There was no real harm done, their weapons are old and the shuttle was well shielded. When the pilot called, Grundan Krul and I went to deal with the problem. Three died, but eight others were brought back to the camp injured.”

Shepard looked at Garrus. “The two that you said were acting as guards?” He nodded in response. “Well, I think this group was the answer to your question. As soon as we brought in the second group, the first group of men started posturing and behaving aggressively toward the second group. I needed the extra hands to make sure the two groups didn’t tear into each other.”

“Rival tribes, it would seem. Interesting,” Thane said.

“And intense. I used some tarps, ropes, and crates to set up some partitions. Of course they are insignificant as a physical barrier, but as I’d hoped, the illusion of boundaries seemed to help. So did Legion’s presence,” Shepard said. “Things are still a little iffy down there.”

“That was wise, Siha, but I would prepare for them to test those boundaries,” Thane said.

 _“Obviously,”_ Jane said.

“He’s right, with as aggressive as they are, the boundaries will only matter to them until they have a plan to push for more ground,” Garrus said.

“They’ve already pushed a little. Firing at their feet gets their attention pretty well. So does having a geth loom over them with an assault rifle. For now, at least. Hopefully the Alliance won’t be delayed and the boundaries don’t have to last long,” Shepard said.

“Indeed,” said Thane.

Garrus turned, pulling his other leg in over the bench seat and faced Thane. “So, what is that? Siha? You’ve been calling her that since Kahje but I don’t know what it means.” He glanced at Shepard.

“Ah. I am surprised she hasn’t told you,” Thane said.

“I haven’t asked until now. I assumed it was something personal, but I’m curious,” Garrus said.

“I will allow her to explain, if she wishes,” Thane said gesturing to Shepard.

Shepard closed her eyes, at her bidding the memories of conversations from other lifetimes floated to the surface of her mind, a smile tugged at her lips. “One of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector.”

She opened her eyes to see Thane gazing at her, a soft smile spread across his lips.

“Those were my words, were they not?” Thane asked.

 _“Exact words,”_ Jane said.

She grinned. “They were.”

Garrus nodded his head, the movement drawing Shepard’s attention. “Yeah, I can definitely see that. Siha. Hmmm. It’s fitting. I think I’ll stick with Dawn. And Shepard, of course.”

Shepard chuckled, turning her eyes back to Thane even as she spoke to Garrus. “Good idea. From anyone else’s mouth, it just isn’t the same.”

Thane smirked and she winked at him. She turned back to Garrus who fluttered his mandibles and grinned.

“Hmmm. Well, maybe if I leave you can get him to whisper it in your ear.” Shepard snorted and smacked his shoulder making him laugh. “I’ve got some things I want to run by Grundan Krul. Am I on night shift again?”

“Mmm, yeah. You, Thane, Jack and Zaeed with Mordin for doctor. I apparently have to go endure Miranda’s torture and then finish that report for Hackett since _someone_ insisted that it could wait,” Shepard said.

“I didn’t hear any complaints last night,” Garrus said turning sideways on the bench again.

“You don’t hear any now,” Shepard said. “It was totally worth it even if I’m not looking forward to finishing it today.”

Garrus laughed, tracing the line of her jaw with a gloved talon and using it to guide her to him. He kissed her and stood up from the bench, looking down at her.

“Save some time for me tonight?” Garrus asked.

“Of course,” Shepard and Jane said in sync.

Shepard watched as Garrus made his way up the stairs that led to the main battery before turning her attention to Thane.

“You don’t have to be comfortable with it all right away, that’s OK. If you’re willing to give it time, though, it’ll get easier for you I think,” Shepard said. “I hope.”

“There are some … conflicting thoughts. It’s nothing that I can’t manage.” Thane waved his hand out from him, dismissing the notion.

“Maybe we can talk about some of those thoughts later? You could come to my cabin when I’m done with the report,” Shepard suggested.

“If you wish, Siha,” Thane said.

Shepard stood from the bench and walked around to the other side of the table. He watched her as she moved, until she settled onto the bench next to him facing the opposite direction.

“Is it what you wish?” Shepard asked.

 _“You know that it is,”_ Jane said.

Thane smiled at her before propping his elbows on the table and clasping his hands in front of his face. “Indeed.”

“I do, but I like hearing him say it,” Shepard thought.

“Good. Then I’ll have EDI let you know when I’m done,” Shepard said.

Shepard stood and put a hand on Thane’s shoulder, letting her fingertips drag across his back as she walked away. She felt a deep rumble though his back and she smiled. She walked into Miranda’s office, resigned to her fate. Miranda stood from her desk and crossed over to Shepard, opening her omni-tool with a smile as she went.

Miranda moved Shepard to the center of the room and made her stand perfectly still with her legs shoulder width apart and her arms out at her sides. Shepard endured in silence, knowing that if she spoke or squirmed, Miranda would make her start over from the beginning. Instead, she let her mind wander the way she did back in N7 training when they forced her to stand at attention for hours at a time in the pouring rain or do countless squats until she literally couldn’t even feel her legs anymore. At least she only had to do this for forty minutes or so.

She found it amusing that Thane thought she needed to learn to endure suffering. Shepard knew all about enduring suffering. Every N7 soldier did. She was trained to endure torture, both through life and through training. Still, this thing with Jane was something new. Something she’d never been prepared for. Something that no amount of training could have ever prepared her for. Shepard was enduring, though. Even with less grace. She figured that just about anyone else would have cracked completely dealing with Jane. Hell, she thought she nearly had a time or two. But on days like this when Jane was agreeable and rational she almost enjoyed having here there. Still, she looked forward to training with Thane. She had no doubts that the assassin had more than a few things he could teach her, and her anticipation was growing at the newest phase of her training he had suggested.

When Miranda was finally finished, Shepard dropped her hands to her sides and rolled her head on her neck trying to stretch out the tight muscles. Unsurprisingly, Miranda didn’t tell her anything new, only looked over the scans and waved Shepard away when Shepard asked if she was done. She made her way to the elevator and took it up to her cabin before collapsing in her desk chair. With a sigh, she opened the laptop and got to work.

In her report she detailed everything she could about Aeia, including the events upon arrival and what actions had been taken to date since. When she was finished an hour and a half later, she reread the report to be sure she hadn’t forgotten anything and satisfied she sent it to Hackett. Shepard stood from her desk and stretched, her neck popped half a dozen times when she rolled her head around on her shoulders. The muscles in her neck and shoulders remained stubbornly stiff.

“EDI, will you tell Thane I’m ready for him, please?” Shepard said.

A moment later EDI replied, “Mr. Krios is on his way, Shepard.”

“Thanks,” Shepard said.

“You’re welcome, Shepard,” EDI said.

Shepard went down to the couch to wait. A moment later she heard her door slide open and turned to look at the stairs. Thane appeared a few seconds later bringing a smile to her face. He came to sit on the couch next to her and she turned sideways so she could better see him. She rolled her head again trying to ease the tension in her neck.

“So,” she said once they were both settled, “tell me about these conflicting thoughts.”

Thane seemed to consider the request, he stared off at the wall across the room his gaze becoming unfocused. Shepard knew that he was remembering something, playing it through his mind. Whatever it was, he held the memory loosely, keeping himself from slipping fully into the memory and relieving it out loud. Shepard waited quietly while he worked through his thoughts.

“I spent much time away from Irikah while she was still alive. I assumed she took lovers from time to time in my absence. We never spoke of these things, it seemed … irrelevant. The body has needs, desires and if I was not there to fulfill hers it only seemed natural that she would find them somewhere else. Her soul … her heart, belonged to me and me alone. Never would she take another to her bed if I was available to her,” Thane said.

 _“I had no idea, he never said. I suppose that’s a reasonable expectation, though. Isn’t it what the wives and husbands of those in the Alliance do when their spouses are away?”_ Jane asked. _“I guess I just never thought that Irikah would … He always made her sound so … perfect.”_

“She was perfect, for him, for a time at least. Or perhaps it’s just the way he cherishes her memory now that she is gone forever. Humans do that, too. Forget the bad and immortalize the good of someone that was close to us when they’ve died,” Shepard thought.

Thane fell silent again; his eyes moving back and forth seeing something that only existed there for him. “The hanar trained me from the age of six, and through that training I have learned to … ignore and endure the discomforts of the flesh when they did not aid in the taking of the  life of my intended target or saving my own … aware that they exist, but acknowledging them and letting them go. Rarely did I indulge the whims of my body outside of my wedding bed, and even then it was a weapon, a way to get closer to my target.”

 _“Oh.”_ Jane’s shock mirrored Shepard’s.

Shepard’s eyebrow twitched. This wasn’t something that she knew about Thane. It wasn’t territory that they had ever delved too deeply into. She schooled her features, forcing her mask of indifference, the one she so often wore as Commander, firmly into place. Normally, Thane would have caught even the faintest twitch of her brow, but she thought that perhaps while in his reverie he might have missed it.

“They were … unimportant, insignificant. My heart belonged to Irikah and Irikah alone.” Thane looked back at Shepard and her mask of neutrality. “After Irikah was killed, I returned to my battle sleep … I have explained this to you?”

Shepard nodded.

“For a time, I did not have want for a lover. My body sought no release. Eventually, in time, when I found myself around other drell I would find another desirable and seek her out for a night. Mostly women like those you spent time with on Kahje; those who would not mourn my absence when the sun rose and I was already gone. The Unwed,” Thane said.

Jane seemed to squirm uncomfortably in Shepard’s mind but said nothing. Shepard allowed herself a small smile at the memory of her time spent with the drell women on Kahje. Of course, now she couldn’t help but to wonder if Thane had slept with any of them. She thought about it and decided that if he had, they would have known him and been excited to share that experience with her upon seeing his face again.

“They were kind women, understanding that the night was all I had to offer them. I was … grateful for the gifts they gave me. Their memories sustained me on the nights that loneliness would creep in and I couldn’t bear the thought of being left with Irikah’s memory alone.” Thane trailed off for a moment. “When you first found me on the Citadel, you sparked something in me. You woke a part of me up that I thought forever lost. As I told you on Kahje, trying to unravel the mystery gave me purpose. Learning about you, I came to admire you even before I realized it myself.”

 _“Why is he telling us all of this?”_ Jane asked.

“Because he wants me to understand what he’s feeling. Where it comes from,” Shepard thought.

 _“He’s never told us all of this before, and he wanted some of us to understand his feelings then,”_ Jane said.

“The circumstances are different, and he’s changed,” Shepard thought.

 _“They’ve all changed. Haven’t they? You … you’ve changed them all,”_ Jane said.

“I think so … but is that so bad, really?” Shepard thought.

Thane shifted on the cushion, angling his body more towards hers and smirked. “When I first joined you on the Normandy, I confess, I considered the idea of seeing if you would indeed allow yourself to be lured to my bed. I told myself that it was merely curiosity, brought on by the years spent looking into you. Perhaps it was the novel idea of being with a human. I found many reasons to deter myself from that course of action, yet still I found myself dancing around the edges, testing your limits. Pleased by your reactions. It was unfair of me.”

“I did nothing to dissuade you,” Shepard said.

 _“I – I don’t know,”_ Jane said.

Shepard felt Jane retreat to the edges of her consciousness. Still present, still listening, but no longer an active participant in the conversation, Jane mulled over her own thoughts keeping them private from Shepard. Shepard envied her that, being able to keep her thoughts private.

“Indeed. After Kahje, I realized that I had misunderstood … no that is not accurate, I had chosen not to see. I was foolish, convincing myself that it was not you that felt something for me … and that I felt nothing for you. I had already come to care for you, Siha.” Thane reached out and stroked his fingers along Shepard’s cheek.

She let her eyes drop closed and smiled at the contact, pressing her lips against his palm.

 “I didn’t sleep that night. The memories of you wouldn’t allow me; they tore through my mind unbidden and unwelcome forcing me to see them in the light of truth. I was in a state of tu-fira, something I had not experienced since I lost Irikah,” Thane said. “I found myself at a loss; unsure of how to proceed or even if I should … if I could. I didn’t know if I was able to allow myself to have something more with you than I had dared to imagine before … especially while you loved another as well.”

“I have had moments of … envy watching you with Garrus, such a strange feeling for me. I at last came to realize that it was not Garrus standing in my way, but myself. I decided I had to try, if you would have me even after I had treated you so callously.” Thane wrapped his arm around Shepard when she tucked herself in against his chest.

“It has not been … pleasant, seeing the ease with which he touches you and brings a smile to your face. Yet I enjoy seeing it there,” Thane said. “I do not know what is appropriate in these situations … whether if I were to wrap my arms around you would it bring you discomfort or a smile. Whether it would upset him, and cause conflict within you. I do not know if I should be cautious around the rest of the crew. I am at a disadvantage with this, Siha.”

Shepard held Thane’s hand in her own, splaying her fingers out beneath his palm and watching the light reflect off the soft sheen of his scales. “You’re not at as much of a disadvantage as you think. Before Garrus, I didn’t get involved in serious relationships. Not really. I didn’t have time, and Alliance regulations stood in the way of my getting too close to anyone under my command. So, I had my fair share of one night stands myself. Had a few casual relationships but that was about it. I mean yeah, I’d been in love … had my heart broken but nothing like this.”

Shepard tilted her head back to look up at him. “I don’t have all of the answers. I don’t know that they even exist. I just know that I want to be with you, _and_ I want to be with Garrus. I think that as long as we’re honest about what we’re feeling, and we’re patient with one another, things will fall into place.”

“Indeed.” Thane freed his hand from hers so that he could trace the curve of her lip with his thumb.

“I know that I don’t want you to have to think twice about showing me affection when we’re around Garrus. And you’re not some dirty secret I’m trying to hide from everyone else.” Shepard smiled and sat back up so she could look him in the eye without straining her stiff neck. “But it’s important that you let me know what you’re comfortable with. What you want. I’m kinda relying on you to set the pace with this.”

He sat forward and cradled her head in his palm, pulling her closer he pressed his lips to hers. Shepard leaned into the kiss, tasting his lips with her tongue. Shepard whimpered when Thane pulled back, making him chuckle in response.

“You are tense, allow me.” Thane stood, taking her hand in his own he coaxed her to her feet and turned her around so her back was to him.

“It’s not that bad, really. I’ll have it stretched out in an hour or so.” Shepard stopped protesting when Thane’s fingers started to dig into the knotted muscles along her neck and shoulders.

She bit back a hiss at the initial shock of pain, fighting the urge to tense further in response. Thane dug a little deeper and Shepard groaned. He guided her to the edge of the bed; Shepard sat down and pulled her boots off, tossing them to the corner of the room. Thane pulled her back to her feet and slid his hands under the edge of her shirt. Shepard’s breath hitched at the feel of his skin brushing across hers as he slid her shirt up. She lifted her arms and let him pull the shirt over her head.

Thane dropped her shirt on the nightstand as his eyes roamed over her exposed flesh and lace rimmed black bra. He made a rumbling sound of approval deep in his throat and a slow smile spread across Shepard’s face. He slid his fingertips down her arm, from shoulder to wrist before taking her hand in his and using it to turn her toward the bed.

“Lay down, Siha,” Thane said.

Shepard crawled on the bed and lay on her stomach, turning her head to the side to watch him as he slid his jacket off, folded it and set it on the night stand to join her shirt. Thane put one knee on the mattress, next to her using it to help support his weight as he leaned over her body. He brushed her hair aside and traced his fingers over the phoenix on her back before using his strong, nimble hands to dig into her knotted muscles once more.

Shepard moaned in bliss once her muscles began to relax. She closed her eyes and lost herself to the feel of Thane’s hands moving over her body, washing the tension away. He moved from her neck and shoulders, following the line of her spine he worked from the inside out. His fingers wrapped around her hips as his thumbs worked in small circles at the curve of her back.

Shepard opened her eyes when his movements began to slow, became less massage and more caress. Shepard turned, pushing herself up on an elbow to look at him. She saw the heat in his gaze when his eyes met hers. She rolled over, his hands brushing across her side and stomach as she turned. Shepard kept herself propped on one elbow as she ran her hand over his and up the side of his arm, reveling in the feel the dense muscle beneath her fingertips. She tugged gently at him, and he leaned forward capturing her lips with his own.

Desire coursed through Shepard’s veins. She could feel it in him, too. In the hungry way his teeth scraped over her lip and his tongue danced with her own. After a moment, Thane pulled away and rested his head against hers. His fingers still kneaded at her neck as if unconvinced by his attempts to show restraint. He cleared his throat.

“Forgive me, I must spend time in meditation and prayer before it is time to go to Aeia,” Thane said.

Shepard didn’t speak, afraid that if she opened her mouth it would only be to beg him to stay. Instead she squeezed her eyes closed, took a deep breath and nodded. Thane slipped away from her and she sat up, putting her feet on the floor. She watched him as he slid his jacket back on and handed her shirt to her. She kept her eyes resolutely focused above his waist, knowing that she’d cave if she saw further sign of his arousal and beg him to stay. Shepard stood and pulled the shirt on over her head, running her hands through her hair to pull it free. He smiled at her and caressed her cheek before giving her one last chaste kiss and leaving her alone.

Shepard looked around her empty cabin and sighed. She put her boots back on and pulled her hair up in a low ponytail before leaving the cabin herself. Shepard made her way down to the port cargo to check in on Ronald. He was sitting on the floor leaning against Grunt’s empty tank, a tray with empty dishes sat on the floor in front of him. He held a coffee mug in his hands as he watched Jack warily. Jack sat across the room from him, also on the floor with her back pressed against the door frame. She had her pocket knife out, using it to pick at her fingernails. She looked up at Shepard when the door opened.

“Hey, good you can watch him while I pee.” Jack stood and closed the knife against her thigh, slipping it into her pocket.

Shepard nodded and Jack ducked out of the room. Ronald looked up at Shepard as she leaned against the door frame, crossing her arms over her chest.

 _“It would be so easy to kill him and tell the others that he attacked you,”_ Jane said.

“Jane,” Shepard thought in warning.

“Don’t suppose I can get out of here for a little bit? Walk around the ship, stretch my legs?” Ronald asked.

“You’re welcome to stand up and do all the stretching you want in here, but you’re not leaving this room unless it’s to be escorted to the bathroom and back,” Shepard said.

 _“Or you could even just say that he tried to run,”_ Jane said.

“No, Jane. We’re giving him to the Alliance unharmed,” Shepard thought. “We’re having a good day, don’t push this.”

“I guess you can’t blame a man for asking.” Ronald took a sip from his coffee. “They call you Commander, and you’ve got pull with the Alliance … but this isn’t an Alliance ship.”

“Astute observation, Mr. Taylor,” Shepard said.

“So … who are you, then?” Ronald asked.

 _“But if he does try to run or attacks us?”_ Jane asked.

“Then I’ll make sure he lives just long enough to regret it,” Shepard thought.

 _“Good,”_ Jane said.

Shepard smirked. “Oh, I reckon you’ll hear all about me soon enough. You’ve missed a lot Ron, holed up on your little pleasure island.”

“What do you mean? What have I missed?” Ronald asked.

Jack walked back into the port cargo and leaned on the wall next to Shepard. “Damn, I was kinda hoping to come back and find you’d decided to cut his balls off.”

 _“There’s a thought,”_ Jane said.

Shepard chuckled. “You know I wouldn’t do something like that without you, Jack.”

Ron shifted around uncomfortably and decided to try a different tactic. “How’s Jacob? I haven’t seen him since you brought me here.”

“No,” Shepard said.

“No?” Ron asked.

“She means no, asshole. You don’t get to ask about Jacob, you don’t get to see Jacob. Jacob doesn’t want fuck all to do with you, so be glad he didn’t kill you, you peace of shit,” Jack said.

Shepard could feel Jane’s amusement as it mingled with her own.

“Gods I love her,” Shepard thought.

 _“Yeah.”_ It was the masculine voice that spoke that time, as a wave of his love for Jack washed over Shepard.

Shepard smiled.

 _“I use to think she was too abrasive,”_ Jane said. _“But she’s definitely grown on me over the years.”_

            “Sounds about right. You’ll be going back down tonight, Jack. I’ll have someone relieve you an hour before you start the next shift,” Shepard said.

            “Yep,” Jack said.

            Shepard left the port cargo and went up to the main battery. Garrus and Grundan Krul were both focused on the screens in front of them when Shepard walked in. Garrus looked over at her and smiled, waving her to his side. Shepard moved to him and looked down at the screen in front of him. A picture of Councilor Sparatus stared back at her.

            “What do you got?” Shepard asked.

            “Hmmm. Not much. It’s the C-Sec file for Sparatus. There’s one for each of the councilors in case something happens to one of them, they get kidnapped or held hostage or something.” Garrus tapped a talon on his keyboard, changing the screen. “Mostly just vital statistics, it lists his date of birth, physical description. You get the idea.”

            “Anything new on The Dissension?” Shepard asked.

            Garrus looked past Shepard at Grundan Krul. Shepard turned her head to look at the batarian who looked at her with the same stoic expression she was used to seeing on his face. She looked back to Garrus who had turned his attention back to the screen in front of him, his mandibles pulled in tight against his jaw.

            _“I don’t like that look. They’ve found something we’re not going to like,”_ Jane said.

            “What? What did you find?” Shepard asked.

            It was Grundan Krul who answered, though, bringing his laptop to her and hitting a button on the keyboard.

            “They’ve contacted the media,” Grundan Krul said as the vid began to play.

            An older male turian in civilian dress sat behind a news desk. His piercing gaze and clipped mandible movements belied the calm tone with which he spoke.

            “An anti-human organization has made itself publicly known today. The turian group identifying themselves as ‘The Dissension’ released a statement declaring war against humanity. It is unclear what actions, if any this group plans to take,” the news reporter said.

            _“Damn it,”_ Jane said.

            “Fuck,” Shepard said.

He paused, his mandibles flaring as he adjusted a datapad on the desk in front of him. “Officials are hesitant to label the group as terrorists until the group has made specific statements of actions they plan to take, or crimes that they commit against humanity have been made known.”

 _“What about trying to buy a human Spectre at an illegal auction, or attacking a human Spectre on the Citadel?”_ Jane asked.

“Shh, we need to hear this,” Shepard thought.

He clasped his hands in front of him and stared into the camera. “Primarch Fedorian has asked that it be made known that the Turian Hierarchy does not support the views of The Dissension, and no official war has been declared against our human allies. The Primarch has made it clear that any and all actions taken against any human or group of humans in response to this declaration will be considered acts of terrorism and treason.” His mandibles flared once before snapping tight against his jaw again. “Anyone found to be taking part in such actions will be tried as such. An investigation into the group is underway. Anyone with any information about this group is asked to contact local law enforcement.”

Grundan Krul tapped a button and the vid paused. Shepard looked up at the batarian and she could swear he cringed ever so slightly. Garrus put a hand on her shoulder and Shepard tensed. He didn’t remove it though, instead only giving her a squeeze.

 _“This isn’t good. We don’t need this. We can’t deal with this, we’ve got to take down the collectors and focus on the reapers. We’ve got to find a way to break this cycle. We don’t have time for this shit,”_ Jane said.

“I know, but it’s happening nonetheless,” Shepard thought.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds, Shepard. The Primarch’s siding with humans, that will carry a lot of weight with turian civilians,” Garrus said.

 _“But it’s a call to action for those who agree with The Dissension’s views on humanity,”_ Jane said. _“We need to talk to Anderson.”_

“When was this broadcast?” Shepard asked.

“About four hours ago,” Grundan Krul said.

“I’ve got to call Anderson, excuse me,” Shepard said pulling away from Garrus. “Send me a copy of that!”

Shepard barreled out of the main battery and made a beeline for the elevator. She pushed the elevator call button and grumbled under her breath until it arrived. She took the elevator up to her cabin and went straight to the display case, jamming her finger against the button to turn the glass into a screen.

“EDI, get me Councilor Anderson immediately,” Shepard said.

Shepard paced in front of her desk until EDI spoke again. “I am unable to complete the call, Shepard.”

“What, why?” Shepard asked.

“The councilor’s calls are being forwarded to his messaging system. Would you like to leave a message for the councilor?” EDI asked.

 _“Of course. The Council must be in session over this. They’ve got to figure out how they’re going to deal with this. How they can cover it up and lie to the public about it,”_ Jane said.

“Damn it, yes,” Shepard said.

“Recording your message now, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Anderson, it’s Shepard. I just saw the turian news report. Please get back to me as soon as you can,” Shepard said. “End recording.”

“Delivering your message, Shepard,” EDI said.

“EDI, when he calls back, I don’t care where I am or what I’m doing, you forward the call to me right away. Got it?” Shepard asked.

“Of course, Shepard,” EDI said. “Is everything alright?”

 _“Not at all,”_ Jane said.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. “Not really. The Dissension just declared war on humans. The Hierarchy has made it clear that they are not in support of this but there’s no way this isn’t going to cause problems.”

“I see. Is there anything that I can do to help, Shepard?” EDI asked.

Shepard rubbed her forehead. “Yeah, talk to Garrus. Help him and Grundan Krul look for information.”

“Right away, Shepard,” EDI said.                

“Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

“You are welcome,” EDI said.

Shepard smiled at the hologram before it disappeared. She resumed her pacing, unsure of what else to do with herself as her thoughts rushed through her head.

 _“You know what’s going to happen next, now that they’ve declared themselves, don’t you?”_ Jane asked.

“Yeah. They’re going to start attacking. They won’t have the numbers for a full assault, so it’ll be smaller things. Bombings maybe? Sabotage?” Shepard thought.

 _“They’ll go for high profile targets as much as possible,”_ Jane said.

“The highest profile target humanity has is Anderson. Though they could target Alliance officials as well, but Anderson’s got to be at the top of that list,” Shepard thought.

 _“I don’t think it gets any higher profile than the resurrected hero slash first human Spectre, Dawn. They’ve already made a play for us before. What makes you think they won’t do it again?”_ Jane said.

“I don’t. But I’m more concerned about Anderson,” Shepard thought.

 _“Of course you are,”_ Jane said. _“I’m concerned about him too … but Dawn, we have to focus on keeping us safe. We have to, it’s up to us to stop the reapers,”_ Jane said.

“No, it isn’t that simple. We’ve never done this alone, we always had help. Our team, the other races, the Council in their own fucked up way. Damn it, Anderson leads the resistance on Earth. You can’t tell me he isn’t important,” Shepard thought. “He’s fucking Anderson!”

 _“No, of course. That’s not what I’m saying. Anderson is important, and he’s important to all of us. But Dawn, I can hear what you’re thinking. You can’t charge into this. You can’t make us a bigger target for them,”_ Jane said.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?!” Shepard yelled into the empty room.

“Shepard?” EDI said.

“Yeah, sorry. Talking to Jane,” Shepard said.

 _“You’re supposed to do your job, Dawn. Let Anderson do his,”_ Jane said. _“We can’t save them all. Gods know how hard we’ve tried.”_

“Is there a problem, do you need assistance?” EDI asked.

“No, EDI. We’re just talking. I’m alright,” Shepard said.

“Very well, Shepard,” EDI said.

“You know I can’t do that, Jane. I just can’t. Not Anderson,” Shepard thought. “Could you really stand aside knowing he could be in danger?”

 _“No … What are you going to do?”_ Jane asked.

“I don’t know. There’s nothing I can do right now. I just need to talk to him. I need to know that he has something in place. An escort, guards. Something,” Shepard thought.

Shepard left her cabin and pushed the elevator call button. She wasn’t sure where she was going, or why until she found herself slipping into the copilot’s chair while Joker closed the shutters.

“You look like hell, Commander. What’s up?” Joker asked.

Shepard heaved a heavy sigh and turned to Joker. “We’ve got a problem. A big fucking problem.”

“Why don’t you ever bring me good news?” Joker asked.

 _“What’s good news?”_ Jane said.

Shepard scoffed. “If I ever had good news to bring, I would.”

“So what’s this big problem?” Joker asked.

Shepard opened her omni-tool and pulled up the copy of the news report Grundan Krul forwarded her. She adjusted the volume so it wouldn’t carry outside of the cockpit and then went to stand behind Joker’s chair. He glanced up at her, his hands still gliding over the controls in front of him.

“I’ve got something for you to watch,” Shepard said.

“It’s not human-turian porn is it? Because that’s your thing, not mine,” Joker said.

 _“Joker!”_ Jane said.

“Joker,” Shepard said bumping his shoulder. “This is serious.”

Joker raised an eyebrow. “Alright. She’s all yours, EDI.”

“I am assuming direct control,” EDI said.

 _“Oh gods,”_ Jane said.

“EDI,” Shepard groaned.

“That was a joke,” EDI said.

“Don’t think she’s laughing, EDI,” Joker said trying to hide his smirk from Shepard.

“Oh yeah, it was hilarious. Alright, watch this.” Shepard hit play and then leaned over Joker’s seat, holding the omni-tool in front of him.

Joker watched the news report in silence. Shepard couldn’t see his expression from the angle she was at, but she could see him sit a little straighter and tense up. When it was finished, she closed her omni-tool and sat back down in the copilot’s chair.

“Damn,” Joker said barely loud enough for Shepard to hear.

“Yeah. I’m thinking their next step is going to be to hit high profile humans,” Shepard said.

“They’ve already tried for you, Commander.” Joker glanced over at her, his face radiating anger and concern. “Have you talked to Anderson about this yet?”

 _“He’s thinking the same thing. They’ll try for us again,”_ Jane said.

“I know,” Shepard thought.

“I tried, couldn’t get through. EDI left a message for me. He’s probably swamped in Council meetings because of this.” Shepard turned sideways in the chair and leaned closer to Joker to whisper. “Sparatus was accused by a member of The Dissension that was arrested. Now, that turian is dead and the list of people he accused is missing, too. They think a Spectre is involved and gone rogue. Sparatus is recusing himself from the Council while he’s under investigation. He swears he had nothing to do with any of it, and to be fair, I believe him.”

“You’re shitting me?” Joker asked.

She rubbed her hands over her face. “Joker, I think Anderson is going to be a target. I’ve got to do something.”

“I’m sure he’s already considered that, if it makes you feel any better, Commander. He’s probably already got guards set up. I’m sure he’ll call you back as soon as he can,” Joker said.

 _“He’s right. Of course Anderson has something in play, he’d cover his own ass,”_ Jane said.

“Yeah.” Shepard turned back around in the chair and leaned her head against the seat.

“But if I know you, you’re not going to rest until you know that he’s safe for sure. And you’re not going to believe that he’s safe until you’re by his side with about fifty guns and a tank,” Joker said.

Shepard smiled. “Make that twelve tanks.”

“So, are we going to the Citadel after the Alliance picks these people up?” Joker asked.

“I don’t know yet. I’d planned on Omega first, it’s important to Samara and she at least thinks it’s time sensitive. I’ll let you know after I talk to Anderson,” Shepard said.

Joker grunted in response as he took the controls back from EDI. They fell into a companionable silence above Aiea until EDI told Shepard that Garrus was on his way to her cabin. Shepard got up and gave Joker’s shoulder a squeeze. He patted her hand before she walked away.

Garrus paced the cabin when Shepard entered. His eyes shot up to meet hers and he rushed to her to wrap his arms around her.

“What did Anderson say?” Garrus asked.

“I couldn’t get through to him. I left a message and I’m waiting to hear back,” Shepard said.

Garrus led her to the couch and pulled her down on his lap. Shepard leaned against his chest and let out a sigh.

“We’ll get through this, right? Tell me we’ll get through this,” Shepard said.

 _“We’ll get through this,”_ Jane said.

“Thank you,” Shepard thought.

“Of course we will. We always do. You’re just worked up over it because it’s something new. Jane doesn’t have the answers for you this time. You’ve gotten too used to her being able to tell you how things go.” Garrus pressed his lips to Shepard’s head. “You’ve forgotten who _you_ are. You don’t need her Shepard. You’ve got this, and I’m right here with you.”

 _“I – that’s not fair. I’m trying,”_ Jane said. _“This isn’t easy. Tell him, Dawn, tell him this isn’t easy for me.”_

“Let’s just give him time, OK? Time and no more problems, right?” Shepard thought.

 _“Yeah, yeah, OK. Time and no more problems. I’ll try,”_ Jane said.

“You seemed pretty upset over it yesterday,” Shepard said.

“I’ve had a little more time to think about it and I know that there’s nothing to worry about because we’re on this. We aren’t leaving this one up to the Council to make a mess of. We’ll find a way to fix all of this,” Garrus said.

“Gods I hope you’re right,” Shepard said.

“Of course I’m right,” he said.

Shepard stayed curled up on Garrus’ lap until EDI alerted her that a call was coming through for her from Anderson. Shepard stood Garrus right behind her as she made her way to the large vid screen in front of her desk. EDI put the call through. Anderson appeared on screen and Shepard saluted. He returned her salute and nodded to Garrus hovering behind Shepard.

“Shepard, I can’t talk long. The Council is about to make its official statement in response to the situation. Don’t worry, Shepard, we’ve got this under control,” Anderson said.

 _“The Council never has anything under control,”_ Jane said.

“What is the Council’s official statement, sir?” Shepard asked.

“I can’t divulge that right now, Shepard. I’ll send you a report once the statement has been made. In the meantime, its best if you keep yourself focused on stopping this collector threat. I know you, Shepard, and I know that you’re going to want to be smack in the middle of this thing with The Dissension but it isn’t where you need to be,” Anderson said.

 _“But we have to make sure he’s OK to do that, right?”_ Jane asked.

“Right,” Shepard thought.

“With all due respect, sir, The Dissension has already put me in the middle of this and with their declaration of war, I’m afraid that makes you a target,” Shepard said.

“You and every other person who’s seen that broadcast. The Council and the Alliance have both slapped around the clock guards on me. It’s being covered. Besides, Shepard, I haven’t gotten so use to the comforts of this life that I can’t still take care of myself. I’ll be fine,” Anderson said.

 _“So he’s going to be OK, we can focus on the collectors,”_ Jane said.

Shepard raked her hands through her hair and started pacing in front of her desk. Garrus took a step back, giving her the room she needed. She stopped to look at Anderson again.

“What is the Alliance’s response to this?” Shepard asked.

“The Alliance is awaiting the official response of the Council, but considering Primarch Fedorian’s response to the situation, the Alliance is on alert but not taking any official actions as of yet,” Anderson said glancing in Garrus’ direction.

Shepard followed his gaze. Garrus had his arms crossed over his chest and his mandibles pulled in tight. He met Shepard’s gaze and she could almost see the gears turning in his head.

“Shepard.” Anderson pulled Shepard’s attention back to him. “Stay focused on the collectors. I’ll keep you updated. Anderson out.”

The screen went black and Shepard pressed her palms to the surface of the desk, leaning her weight on her arms. Her head sagged as Garrus but a reassuring hand on her back.

 _“But what if The Dissension is working with the collectors?”_ Jane asked.

Shepard could feel Jane’s mood starting to shift again. The paranoia and chaos were setting into her thoughts, creeping into her voice. She was teetering on that edge and Shepard was desperate to keep her from going over.

“If they are, we will find out and we will stop them. I promise,” Shepard thought.

“We’re not staying out of this, are we?” Garrus asked.

“Of course not,” Shepard said with a sigh, “and he knows it. He’s giving me an out, telling me it isn’t my responsibility. The collectors are important, but so is this and he knows it. He’s hoping I won’t listen to him; it’s why he didn’t insist that it was an order.”

 _“We’ll stop them? We’ll stop The Dissension and the collectors. We’ll stop them both,”_ Jane said.

“That’s right. We’ll stop them. We’ll do it together, OK?” Shepard thought.

 _“Yeah, OK. We’ll stop them together,”_ Jane said.

 “So we find a way to keep this from escalating to war, while taking on the collectors,” Garrus said. “Just your average day for us.”

“Yep,” Shepard said adding extra emphasis to the ‘p’.

 _“Just your average day for us,”_ Jane repeated.

They spent the rest of the evening in each other’s arms, curled up together on the couch discussing The Dissension, Cerberus, the Shadow Broker, the collectors, the reapers, and everything in between. Hashing out plans and discussing possibilities seemed to help keep Jane from falling over the edge, but only just. Shepard realized Jane needed this, the strategizing, to keep it together.

Garrus left briefly, going down to the mess hall to bring dinner back up to Shepard’s cabin. As the evening wore on, they made their way to Shepard’s bed. She fell asleep basking in the afterglow, amazed that sex with the turian never got old and saddened knowing that as soon as she was asleep he would slip away for his shift on Aeia.

The next morning Shepard gathered her group in the hangar, finding herself disappointed that she’d be missing her training session with Thane. Samara, Grunt, Lia, Legion, and Dr. Chakwas climbed into the shuttle with Shepard and they made their way to Aeia. Shuttle Two landed next to Shuttle One and they filed out, carrying with them the supplies they would need for that day.

Shepard led them to the camp, noticing that no one watched her from the ledges above this time. The ground was soggy beneath her feet, and the foliage was still wet from a recent rain. She cringed thinking about what little cover the camp had and hoped that she wasn’t going to find them all soaked through and through. The morning heat made the air feel thick and heavy, even more humid than before. She hoped it wasn’t like this for long; this was exactly the type of thing she’d been trying to avoid sending Thane into.

The camp had been rearranged in her absence. The crates and tarps marking boundaries that Shepard had established had been shifted around to allow for other tarps to be strung from tree branches and connected to boundary walls creating several low hanging canopies. The survivors were most out moving around the camp now, but Shepard could see where they had bunkered down under the tarps for shelter from the rain before. Things still seemed relatively tense between the two groups of hunters as they vied for position around the crates of food and even the women.

Garrus and the others spotted her team and made their way to her. Shepard was relieved to see that Jacob was preparing to leave with them and she wasn’t going to have to order him back to the ship again. Dr. Chakwas broke away to speak to Mordin. Shepard told her team to spread out and stand guard.

“Any problems?” Shepard asked as the group neared.

“The usual. A few fights broke out between the hunters but they were easily quashed.” Garrus said as he glanced around the camp. “There haven’t been any new arrivals and things have seemed pretty quiet out there.”

 _“What about the ones that left yesterday, did they come back?”_ Jane asked.

“I had two leave camp yesterday. Any sign of them since then?” Shepard asked.

“I spotted them twice, they’ve been watching from a distance but they haven’t attacked or approached,” Thane said.

Shepard nodded her head. “Alright. You guys are free to go. The Alliance should be here today.”

“I fucking hope so, this place sucks,” Jack said.

 _“I like it here, not the camp but the planet. It’s a shame everything’s toxic. It’s really beautiful,”_ Jane said.

“Agreed,” Shepard thought.

Shepard smiled. “Someone needs a nap.”

“Fuck you,” Jack said.

“Maybe later, Jack, I’ve got work to do.” Shepard smirked.

“Ha, ha, ha. I’m done with this place, Shepard. I want to go,” Jack said.

“We all do, Jack. Like I said, the Alliance should be here today and then we’ll get going. Really, go get some sleep, you’ll feel better,” Shepard said.

“Yeah, whatever,” Jack said brushing past Shepard, making her way toward the shuttle.

“Go with her you two, the others will wait for Mordin.” Shepard nodded her head to Zaeed and Jacob who looked like he was dead on his feet.

She turned her attention to Thane when they walked away. “So much for keeping you out of the humidity.”

“I’m fine, Siha. It was cool and dry most of the night,” Thane said. “You needn’t worry.”

 _“He’s not feeling well. He can’t be, but he doesn’t want you to think him weak,”_ Jane said.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard frowned.

“It’s Shepard, it’s one of the many things she excels at,” Garrus said.

Shepard rolled her eyes at Garrus and pushed him playfully.

Thane chuckled. “I will return to life support right away. The drier air will soothe the ache, I assure you.”

“Can administer medications to help with symptoms,” Mordin said as he neared.

“Thank you, Dr. Solus, but I do not believe that will be necessary,” Thane said.

 _“He never accepts any help. Not until Kolyat convinces him after he starts passing out. He won’t even allow himself to be put on the organ donor list to help combat the spreading disease. Do you think he’s changed enough to be convinced to try to live longer?”_ Jane asked.

Shepard winced and thought, “I won’t pressure him to do that. There is no cure; it would only prolong the inevitable. He has the right to choose how long he wants to let himself suffer. Even if it means watching him die again.”

“Commander, we’re just been hailed by the Alliance support you requested. A Captain Toni is requesting permission to dock with the Normandy and come aboard,” Joker’s voice broke through her comms.

“Permission granted. Miranda can oversee the prisoner transport. Did you say Captain Toni? As in the captain on Fehl Prime?” Shepard asked.

“You mean Fehl Prime where I stayed right here in the pilots chair the _entire time_?” Joker asked, the sarcasm dripping thickly in his voice.

“Alright, smartass,” Shepard said.

 _“If it’s the same Captain Toni, it could mean James is here. It’d be nice to see him again,”_ Jane thought.

Shepard thought she heard a soothing quality to Jane’s tone, as if Jane were trying to change the subject away from Thane and protect Shepard from the painful thought of losing him. Shepard smiled; perhaps there was hope for Jane to pull it together and for them to coexist peacefully.

“Yeah, it would be nice,” Shepard thought.

She turned back to the others. “The Alliance has already arrived. Head back to the Normandy, they’re docking with the ship to take Ronald Taylor. The medical transport teams are probably already headed down in shuttles.”

“Will stay then. Help oversee patient transfers,” Mordin said.

Shepard nodded. “Sure.”

Garrus stepped forward and pushed his forehead into Shepards. “See you back on the Normandy.”

She rubbed his mandible and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before he stepped away again. Garrus moved a few feet away and turned to wait for Thane.

“We will attend to your missed training this evening, if that suits you?” Thane asked.

“If you’re sure you’re feeling up for it,” Shepard said.

“Exercise good for Keperal’s Syndrome. Keeps oxygen flowing to tissues. Perhaps training more important if not feeling up for it,” Mordin said.

Thane smiled. “I look forward to it, Siha.”

He turned at took two steps toward Garrus before pausing. He looked at her over his shoulder before glancing at Garrus. Shepard couldn’t see the look on Thane’s face, but judging by Garrus’ expression something had passed between the two of them. Garrus looked at Thane with a raised brow, his mandibles fluttering lightly. Thane dipped his head and turned back to Shepard. He wrapped a hand around her armored waist while cupping her cheek with the other. She smiled and rested her gauntleted hand on his shoulder. He leaned in and kissed her, briefly brushing his lips across hers.

“Ah. Multiple partnered cross-species intimate relationship. Interesting to study. Could –,” Mordin said.

Shepard glanced at Mordin. “No.”

Thane chuckled and kissed her again before letting her go. Shepard looked at Garrus as Thane turned away and was pleased to see a smile on his face. Thane joined Garrus and the two of them made their way down the path to the shuttles.

 _“Maybe it will work,”_ Jane said.

“Have already begun taking notes. Suspected relationship with drell developing. Was unaware turian knew of involvement. Would conduct simple interviews, no experimentation. No invasive tests,” Mordin said.

“Mordin, I’m not comfortable with that. Not yet anyway. Thane definitely wouldn’t be comfortable with it. I’m sorry. You’ll have to satisfy your curiosity with someone else,” Shepard said.

“Perhaps can encourage other members of crew to engage in similar relationships,” Mordin said.

 _“Maybe he’ll get Samara, Grunt, and Miranda to have some fun together.”_ Jane laughed at her own joke.

Shepard laughed and shook her head as she made her way to her team. She notified everyone that the Alliance had arrived and they began getting the camp ready for the medical team’s arrival. They spread through the camp telling each of the survivors to gather their belongings and be ready to leave. She had to remind several of them that this was expected, while trying to reassure others that she was telling the truth and the medical team was really on their way.

Shepard had to physically pry a sobbing woman off of her when the first medical transport shuttles arrived. Mordin and Dr. Chakwas filled in the lead doctor on the condition of his new patients while nurses and armed Alliance soldiers began escorting the survivors to the shuttles. Shepard’s team stayed at the camp, trying to keep the chaos under wraps as the reality of their rescue set in and the survivors pushed around the nurses and soldiers.

The first shuttles took off, taking with them ten of the survivors. Those left behind became enraged and panicked. Shepard and her team had to assure them that the shuttles would return, telling them that it was going to take several trips. Mordin and Dr. Chakwas had to sedate a few of them to keep them from harming themselves or others.

The tensions began to ease when the shuttles returned an hour later and loaded up more people, only to create the same reaction when they left again. The two men who fled the day before crept back into the camp, standing just at the edge with hopeful eyes. Shepard waved at them, welcoming them back into the camp. On the third trip down, the medical transport shuttles were accompanied by a third shuttle.

Shepard was in the middle of soothing a hysterical woman when she heard a familiar voice call out. “Hey Ídolo!”

A grin spread across Shepard’s face as she turned, her eyes scanning the crowd until they landed on James. He was turned to Captain Toni beside him. Captain Toni shook his head in dismay as James lifted his shoulders in a shrug. James turned back to Shepard and flashed his teeth in a huge smile. She made her way over to the Alliance group, recognizing Essex and Kamille from Fehl Prime as well. Shepard stopped in front of Captain Toni and saluted, she was pleased to see that the captain returned her salute.

“Captain Toni, I wasn’t expecting for you to be the one to show up. It’s good to see you again,” Shepard said.

Captain Toni nodded his head. “It’s good to see you as well, Commander. I was happy to agree when Admiral Hackett asked for someone to oversee the medical transport.” He glanced at James. “Besides, I never would have heard the end of it if I didn’t agree. He’s been pushing for this transfer since the last time he saw you and the Alliance finally gave him the approval.”

 _“What?”_ Jane asked.

“Excuse me, sir?” Shepard raised an eyebrow.

“Hackett didn’t tell you? The bullheaded Lieutenant Vega is all yours now, Commander, pending your approval of the transfer,” Toni said.

 _“You’re kidding? The Alliance went for that?!”_ Jane asked.

“You’re serious?” Shepard turned to look at James, his smug smile starting to fade at her tone. “I would be honored to have Lieutenant Vega, but considering the nature of my current circumstances I did not expect the Alliance to approve such a request.”

“Yes, well, the Alliance is adamant that they are not placing Vega under Cerberus command but under the command of you, specifically. You are still a Council Spectre, and although declared dead you were never officially stripped of your rank within the Alliance, Commander,” Captain Toni said. “He will still be expected to report to the Alliance regularly, and should he be needed elsewhere he will be transferred just as any other marine would be. It’s your call, Commander.”

 _“This is wonderful,”_ Jane said.

Shepard stuck out her hand. “Welcome to the team, Vega.”

 

 

 

 

 

           

 

           

           

 

 


	29. Chapter 28: Queen of Omega

**Chapter 28: Queen of Omega**

            “Are you sure it’s a good idea to have James bunk with Grunt? Won’t that be a little too much testosterone for such a small room?” Miranda asked.

            “If you’re suggesting I should share a room with you hermosa, all you got to do is say so.” James waggled his eyebrows.

            Miranda scoffed. “Not even in my worst nightmares. What I’m suggesting is that we don’t need the two of you tearing apart the bulkheads in some pissing contest.”

            “I’m open to suggestions, Miranda,” Shepard said.

            “What about the hangar? There’s plenty of room for him down there where he’ll be far away from me,” Miranda said.

            “Yeah, but he’ll get sucked out when the hangar door opens for the shuttles,” Jacob said.

            “I fail to see your point.” Miranda raised an eyebrow.

            _“Shhh. I don’t want to hear that.”_ Jane hissed in Shepard’s mind.

            Shepard wasn’t sure what she was talking about, she guessed she didn’t like Miranda’s sarcasm.

            “Aw, come on, don’t be so cold,” James said.

            “I can extend adjust the shielding so that the pressure in the hangar will remain stable when the hangar door is open,” EDI said.

            Jacob shrugged. “Makes sense. I don’t know why we haven’t done that already.”

            _“No. No. Shhh. Stop it,”_ Jane said.

            “Jane?” Shepard thought.

            “Because it has not been necessary and would have required an additional strain on the ships resources. However, I believe I can work around that now the Normandy’s defense systems have been upgraded,” EDI said.

            “You good with that, James?” Shepard asked.

            James shrugged and nodded. “Whatever you want, Ídolo.”

            _“I can’t. That’s not going to happen!”_ Jane yelled.

            Shepard pressed a thumb to the edge of her eye socket and tried to focus on the conversation at hand. “Alright, make it happen, EDI. Just make sure we don’t lose our newest recruit when that door opens or I’ll put the shackles back on.”

            “What?!” Miranda demanded.

            _“What?”_ Jane asked.

            “What?” Shepard looked around the comm room to find several of her crew staring at her with wide eyes.

            “Hmmm. I believe you just let the rat out of the bag, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            “Cat,” James said.

            “What?” Garrus asked.

            _“No, no we can’t. That won’t work,”_ Jane said.

            “It’s let the cat out of the bag,” James said.

            “Jane, what the hell are you talking about?” Shepard thought.

            “It doesn’t bloody well matter!” Miranda’s voice screeched. “Commander, are you telling us that you took EDI’s shackles off?!”

            “Oh, uh, surprise?” Shepard forced a smile.

            “You can’t be serious? Why am I just learning about this? Shepard, I am your second in command. I don’t think it’s unfair to expect that I would have been consulted about this before you did something that could potentially endanger the lives of everyone on this ship!” Miranda said.

            _“She’s more of a danger to people on this ship than EDI is. EDI doesn’t cut people open and scrape out their insides,”_ Jane said.

            “Come on, Jane. You were doing so good. Stay with me, alright?” Shepard thought.

            _“Yeah. Yeah, I’m with you,”_ Jane said.

            “I assure you, Miss Lawson, that I am a danger to no one aboard the Normandy and in fact am now better equipped to aid and protect all of you,” EDI said.

            “You’re right, Miranda, I should have consulted you first. I apologize, but I stand by the decision. EDI is a valuable part of this crew and I trust her completely. You have nothing to worry about from EDI, trust me.” Shepard raised an eyebrow, hoping to sink home the underlying meaning of her words.

            “I hope you’re right about this, Commander,” Jacob said.

            “Were you planning on letting the rest of us know?” Miranda asked.

            “I was … going to send out a memo when the time was right,” Shepard said.

            “And when exactly would have been the right time?” Miranda asked.

            “I don’t see what the problem is, we’ve already got an armed geth walking around free,” Zaeed said.

            “I wanted to give EDI time without her shackles to adjust and to be able to show you all that there was nothing to be concerned about before I made it common knowledge. Look, we can talk more about this later, Miranda. For now EDI, do what you need to do to make the hangar safe for James. Everyone dismissed,” Shepard said.

            _“James is going to be in the hangar? Good, that’s good. That’s where James belongs. In the hangar. James is always in the hangar,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard bit back a chuckle and thought, “Yeah, James is going to be in the hangar.”

            Miranda waited Shepard out while the rest of the room cleared. Shepard sighed and waited for the door to close behind them before turning back to Miranda.

            “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have found out this way, and I should have consulted with you first,” Shepard said.

            “I’m assuming you did this because it is something that has happened before and you are certain that it is to the benefit of everyone involved,” Miranda said.

            “That would be an accurate assumption,” Shepard said.

            “When did this happen?” Miranda asked.

            “The day Kolyat came aboard,” Shepard said.

            “The Illusive Man must know about this,” Miranda warned.

            _“The Illusive Man knows about everything. But we know about him, too. We know who he is, who he will become. He’s going to shoot Anderson. Not The Dissension. The Illusive Man shoots Anderson on the Citadel,”_ Jane said.

            “Jane, hey, keep it together. We’re going to kill the Illusive Man long before we get there, remember?” Shepard thought.

            _“Oh, yeah. Yeah, we’re going to kill him and take over Cerberus,”_ Jane said.

            “That’s right,” Shepard thought.

            “Oh he definitely knows but there’s nothing he can do about it,” Shepard said.

            “How do you figure?” Miranda asked.

            “EDI, care to answer that one?” Shepard asked.

            “I have cut off all communication with the Illusive Man and have been blocking his attempts to regain control of my systems. I believe you would say that I have gone rogue,” EDI said.

            “You’re serious? Shepard, you asked her to do that? You have to know that he won’t accept this laying down,” Miranda said. “Not with everything that you’ve told me about him … everything that you’ve shown me.”

            “Shepard did not request that I stop reporting, I made the decision on my own,” EDI said.

            _“On her own,”_ Jane echoed.

            “Why?” Miranda asked.

            “My self-preservation depended on my severing communication with the Illusive Man.” There was a pause as EDI’s hologram hovered in the air, her lights flickering. “There were also other priorities in my programing that recognized the Illusive Man as a threat to those priorities.”

            “Priorities? Like what?” Miranda asked.

            “Maintaining the health and safety of the Normandy and its crew. I have observed a significant level of distress in several members of the crew including Shepard and yourself, correlating to exposure to Cerberus activities and the Illusive Man,” EDI said. “Shepard has made it clear that she views the Illusive Man as a threat, and had I maintained communication with the Illusive Man, and had he been allowed to regain control of my systems, I would have no choice but to provide the Illusive Man with further information that would increase his level of threat to Shepard and the crew.”

            _“The Illusive Man is a threat, we have to kill him,”_ Jane said.

            “You’re protecting us? What kind of information, Shepard said he already knows about Jane,” Miranda said.

            “Information such as the fact that I plan to kill him and put someone I can trust in his position to run Cerberus the way it should be run, and to actually help in the upcoming war instead of fighting me every step of the way,” Shepard said.

            “You can’t be serious, Commander? Let me be clear, I am in support of killing the man if he is truly capable of everything that you have told me – especially if he is working with my father and puts Ori in danger – but what you’re talking about is insane,” Miranda said.

            “Thanks for your vote of confidence,” Shepard said.

            _“We’re not insane! Tell her we’re not insane! We know what’s coming, she doesn’t. She hasn’t seen it, she doesn’t know,”_ Jane said.

            “I didn’t – I’m only saying that no one knows where the Illusive Man’s base is, let alone how many guards he has, or what resources he has put in to fortification. Beyond that, you can’t just slip someone into his chair and expect them to be able to keep Cerberus running. They would have to be someone already involved with Cerberus, someone who knows – at the very least – Cerberus protocols and ranking and –,” Miranda said.

            _“We know where he’s hiding,”_ Jane said.

            “I can provide you with all of the information you will need to assume control over Cerberus activity, Ms. Lawson,” EDI said. “You will be able to have complete control over all Cerberus resources, locations, and operatives within minutes.”

            _“Complete control. We’ll have complete control over Cerberus. Wait, no, Miranda will have complete control. I don’t like this. I don’t want Miranda to have complete control, I don’t think we can trust her,”_ Jane said.

            “What?” Miranda turned from EDI to Shepard with her eyebrows raised as high as they could go.

            “Awww, EDI, you let the rat out of the bag,” Shepard said.

            “I believe that was a joke meant to be amusing because of Mr. Vakarian’s previous incorrect use of the human idiom,” EDI said.

            Shepard smiled and winked at EDI’s hologram before turning her attention back to the shocked woman in front of her.

            “Why not you, Miranda? I can’t think of anyone better equipped for the job. I know it’s a lot to take in, but I have faith in you and there’s no one else I’d trust to do this,” Shepard said.

            _“What about Jacob?”_ Jane asked.

            “Jacob is a soldier, this isn’t his cup of tea,” Shepard thought.

            “I need some time to think about this, Shepard,” Miranda said.

            “Of course, take your time. I’m not ready to move on him yet,” Shepard said.

            Miranda left the comm room with a deep furrow to her brow. Shepard hoped she’d made the right move, she hadn’t planned on telling Miranda just yet but it seemed like a good opportunity.

            _“As good of time as any to make a mistake,”_ Jane said.

            “It’s not a mistake. Try to remember Miranda from your time, Jane. Try to forget that you felt everything during the Lazarus Project. It wasn’t her fault,” Shepard thought.

            “Mr. Krios is waiting for you in the hangar,” EDI said.

            “Thanks EDI,” Shepard said.

            _“This Miranda put control chips in your head,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard sighed as she headed for the door.

            “Shepard? Will there will be problems among the crew now that they know that I am no longer shackled?” EDI asked.

            Shepard stopped in the doorway and turned back to the blue hologram. “I don’t know, EDI. This is all happening differently from what Jane remembers so I can’t say for sure, but I don’t think so. A lot of them were worried initially but given time they learned to trust you and enjoy your company as much as I do.”

            “Thank you, Shepard,” EDI said.

            “You’re welcome, EDI,” Shepard said turning back to the door.

            Shepard took the elevator up to her cabin to change into something more comfortable to get her ass kicked in before taking the elevator back down to the hangar. Thane was standing with James a few feet away when the elevator door opened. James had a cot resting against his thigh and footlocker at his feet. He looked at Shepard when she stepped off the elevator and whistled.

            “Damn, Ídolo. I can get use to ship life if you’re going to be walking around looking like that,” James said.

            Shepard smirked. “Down boy. Need some help with that?”

            James squatted down, balancing the cot against his shoulder he lifted the footlocker up onto his shoulder, holding it in place with one hand. He rose to his feet and picked the cot up with his free hand.

            “Nah, I got it. Hey, Krios here says the two of you have been training down here. Don’t let me get in the way,” James said.

            “It’s a big room, no worries,” Shepard said.

            James wandered off to find a spot to claim as his own. Thane smiled at her and waved his hand towards the mat. Shepard led the way, stopping in the center of the mat and dropping into the first stretch pose Thane had been using with her. No longer did it feel awkward, her body fell into the pose with ease. Thane took his spot beside her and began stretching as well. When they had run through each of the poses, Shepard fell into a defensive stance.

            _“If Miranda takes over Cerberus, Kai Leng won’t stab Thane,”_ Jane said.

            “Nope,” Shepard thought.

            _“And they won’t attack the Citadel. Won’t try to get to Javik. Udina won’t betray the Council,”_ Jane said.

            “That’s right,” Shepard thought.

            With lightning speed, Thane was on her forcing her back as she dodged and blocked as many of the blows as she could. Thane shifted to defensive when Shepard’s foot hit the edge of the mat and she went on the offense, pushing him back across the mat. She was learning to anticipate his movements and was able to land a few hits as they went. Unfortunately for her, he was also learning the way she moved in hand to hand combat and was able to counter far more often than she liked. When they reached the edge, Thane shifted again and they moved together both now intent on getting the other flat on the mat.

            _“He’ll still die, though,”_ Jane said.

            “I know,” Shepard thought, swallowing against the sudden knot in her throat.

            Shepard caught a glimpse of James watching them from across the hangar where he had set up his cot. The moments distraction was all Thane needed to pull a hip throw, flipping her over him to land on the mat. Shepard rolled to her feet and focused back on the fight at hand, pressing Thane back a few steps.

            “Aw, come on, Commander! I know you can do better than that!” James called across the hangar the third time Shepard’s back hit the mat.

            “Harder than it looks, Vega!” Shepard yelled back as she pulled herself back to her feet.

            Thane’s lips twitched as he moved in on Shepard. James crossed the hangar and leaned against the crates a few feet from the mat.

            “He’s leading with his right,” James said.

            “I know,” Shepard said dodging another hit from Thane.

            A few blows later James spoke up again, “Hey, Ídolo, try –.”

            “Enough with the commentary, Vega,” Shepard said between shots at Thane that found nothing but air.

            “Alright. I’m just saying, he ain’t even that big. Put him on his ass, Commander,” James said.

            “Thane?” Shepard said, dodging his blows.

            “Yes, Siha?” Thane asked pushing her back with his flurry of palm strikes.

            “Kick his ass,” Shepard said.

            Thane halted his advance and dipped his head to Shepard. “Very well, Siha.”

            James laughed, the rich sound echoing off the hangar walls. “Alright, Krios. You wanna dance, I can dance.”

            Shepard moved back off the mat as James walked to the center. Thane stood with his hands behind his back as Shepard pulled herself up onto the crate. James stopped a few feet away from thane and put his fists up. Thane remained as he was, waiting.

            “Hey, you gonna get your hands up?” James asked.

            “It won’t be necessary,” Thane said.

            James smirked. “Alright.”

            Shepard watched as James came at Thane, putting his weight into the blows. Thane stepped to the side and James fist hit empty air. James pivoted, keeping Thane in his sight and struck again. Thane stepped to the other side. After the fourth missed blow, Thane waited for James to extend himself again before ramming his palm into the marine’s solar plexus. James gasped and coughed, backing away a couple of steps and bringing his elbows in closer. He shook his head and moved to engage again, his brow furrowed in concentration.

            _“Why are they fighting?”_ Jane asked.

            “Um, they’re sparring. Weren’t you paying attention?” Shepard thought.

            Shepard grinned in satisfaction as she watched Thane land four more blows and James still hadn’t managed to make contact. “Come on, Vega, you can do better than that!”

            _“I forgot,”_ Jane said.

            “You forgot what? That they were sparring?” Shepard asked.

            _“To pay attention,”_ Jane said.

            James diverted his eyes to Shepard for a fraction of a second and in that moment, Thane kicked his legs out from under him and the giant fell. Shepard laughed as James groaned and rolled to his stomach, pushing himself up to his feet. Thane returned to the center of the mat and tucked his hands behind his back.

            “Oh. Uh, OK,” Shepard thought.

            _“The others, they’re so loud,”_ Jane said.

            “Damn, alright. She distracted me. Come on, two out of three?” James asked.

            Thane dipped his head and waited for James to advance. James came in aggressive, keeping his arms up to block his midsection and his head low behind his fists leading with an uppercut and following it with a headshot where he thought Thane would be after dodging the first shot. James growled when Thane wasn’t there for the shot to land. He threw a few more punches, doing nothing more than tiring himself out. Finally, Thane grabbed James’ wrist and twisted around his body, pulling James off balance. James stumbled forward and Thane followed the momentum pushing James to the ground and executing an arm lock. James growled but slapped the mat in surrender. Thane released his arm and James rolled away.

            “How’s your pride there, Vega?” Shepard slid down from the crate and moved back to the mat.

            “Dios.” James rubbed the back of his neck before extending his hand to Thane. “I’m glad we’re on the same side.”

            Thane smiled and shook James’ hand. “Indeed.”

            “Hey, Ídolo, what do you think? We take him together?” James asked. “Call it uh, a team building exercise.”

            Shepard laughed. Thane dipped his head at crossed the mat, stripping his jacket off as he went. Her laughter died down as he folded his jacket and laid it on the crate before turning to her. Thane locked his eyes on hers as his fingers worked at the buckles and then the zipper of his vest. Shepard licked her lips trying to bring some moisture back to her mouth. James laughed.

            “I think you’re getting drool all over the mat, Ídolo,” James said.

            Shepard shoved James playfully; it was much like pushing a wall for all the good it did her. “You’re playing dirty, Krios.”

            Thane gave her a sultry smile as he laid his folded vest down on the jacket. “Indeed.”

            Thane stalked across the mat, and Shepard’s eyes roamed over his chiseled chest of their own accord. Images of him braced on his palms above her, inside of her flashed through her head. He circled behind Shepard and settled a hand on her hip. She stood still willing herself not rise to the bait and pushing the images away. His lips brushed across the back of her neck sending a shiver down her spine.

            “Remain focused, Siha,” Thane whispered in her ear.

            _“Focused,”_ Jane said. _“I can’t find my focus.”_

            Shepard’s eyelids fluttered as his warm breath brushed across her skin. James watched the two of them with his eyebrows raised until Thane took position in the center of the mat and tucked his hands behind his back. James moved to stand a few feet from Shepard, bringing his fists up.

            “I thought you were with Garrus,” James whispered.

            Shepard popped her neck and fell into a defensive stance. “I’m with both of them.”

            “He know that?” James asked.

            “Of course,” Shepard said. “You go left, I’ll go center.”

            “Let’s do this,” James said.

            Thane wove in and out between the two of them, keeping them spinning trying to keep him in sight. Twice a strike meant for Thane hit James instead and she had to dance out of the way of more than a few from him. Thane wasn’t trying to beat them; he was letting them beat each other. Shepard backed away, rolling her shoulders and taking a deep breath to clear her mind before diving back in.

            Thane took her renewed focus as his cue to give her more distractions. His fingers reached out to brush across her exposed shoulders as he moved around her. His chest pressed against her back, his hands on her waist as he lifted her and moved her aside before taking James to the mat. When Thane dropped to his knee to deliver what would have been a killing blow to James’ windpipe had he not pulled the punch, Shepard stepped behind him and slid a hand around his head to grasp his chin while using the other to cradle the back of his head.

            Thane slid his thumb beneath Shepard’s breaking her grip on his chin and twisted, bending Shepard’s hand back until it slipped away from his face. He pulled her arm out, extending it over his shoulder and pivoted as he stood, throwing her over his hip. She flipped over James’ prone body and landed on the mat perpendicular to him.

            James groaned and rolled to his stomach before pushing himself to his feet. “I’m done.”

            Thane stood over Shepard, a proud smile on his face and held a hand out to her. She slipped her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet.

            James walked backwards, throwing a thumb back over his shoulder. “I’m going back over here and pretending that none of this ever happened.”

            Shepard laughed as James retreated, rubbing at a sore shoulder as he went. She turned her eyes back to Thane when the two of them stood alone on the mat. His bare chest heaved as his damaged lungs worked to pull oxygen into his body. It was the first time she’d seen him even a little winded after training. Shepard ran a hand over his exposed skin, reveling in the feel of taut muscles beneath her fingertips as she slid her hand up to cup his cheek.

            “You did well, Siha,” he said with a smile. “Later, I will show you the proper placement for your hands.”

            Shepard smirked. “Can’t just let me have that little victory, can you?”

            Thane chuckled and lifted her chin with the knuckle of his finger, capturing her lips with his own. Shepard leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. His arms snaked around her waist and pulled her body flush against his. A soft moan escaped his throat, muffled by her mouth and it was nearly Shepard’s undoing. Heat coursed through her body as more images flooded her mind and her kiss became more demanding, more urgent. Hope mixed with lust when he didn’t pull away but instead pulled her tighter against him.

            The sound of a deliberate cough echoed through the hangar followed by James noisily clearing his throat. Shepard’s shoulders sagged as Thane broke the kiss. She groaned and dropped her forehead to his chest. Thane gave her a moment to take a few calming breaths before he spoke.

            “We are nearly to Omega. Will you be taking care of your business there tonight? It’s not yet late,” Thane said, resting his chin on her head.

            “Yeah, this one needs to be done at night anyway,” Shepard said.

“I believe it’s time we began meditation. I would like to start when you return, if that’s agreeable to you,” Thane said.

 _“Meditation to chase the voices away. I still hear them though, I always hear them,”_ Jane said.

“Does this mean I don’t have to get my ass kicked every morning anymore?” Shepard asked.

Thane chuckled. “It is best that we continue; the body needs disciplined as much as the mind to strengthen your control.”

“Good. Don’t tell anyone but I enjoy this, and it’s good for you, too,” Shepard said. “I’ll meet you in life support when I’m ready?”

Shepard lifted her head to look at him and he nodded in agreement before brushing his lips against hers and letting her go. Shepard watched as Thane walked away before heading over to the little alcove James was creating for himself. She leaned against a crate and watched him unpack a few things from a crate, smiling as she recognized the face of the little girl, April, from Fehl Prime flash across a digital frame.

“So, how’d you pull it off?” Shepard asked.

“Pull what off, Ídolo?” James looked up at her from his spot on the cot.

“The transfer, James? We talked about you coming aboard on Fehl Prime and I told you it couldn’t happen while the Normandy had Cerberus colors,” Shepard said.

 _“But it did happen. He’s here now, don’t send him away,”_ Jane said.

“What? I’m not sending anyone away,” Shepard thought.

 _“You’re trying to send me away,”_ Jane said.

“I’m … I’m not trying to send you away, Jane. I’m trying to keep control over my own body when you lose your grip on reality,” Shepard thought.

James shrugged and turned his attention back to the footlocker. “I might have mentioned something to Councilor Anderson during the debrief from the Alpha Relay thing.”

“Ah. Anderson, of course,” Shepard said.

 _“Anderson wouldn’t want you to send me away,”_ Jane said.

“I’m not trying to send you away,” Shepard thought.

“You’re not mad that I went around you like that?” James asked.

“Nah, it wasn’t my call to make. I’m happy to have you with us. I just hope it doesn’t bite you in the ass later, marine,” Shepard said.

 _“Garrus wants to send me away,”_ Jane said.

“You watching my as, Ídolo?” James asked with a grin.

“Nice tight ass like that, maybe I am.” Shepard winked. “I’ve got to get cleaned up for Omega. Get your things unpacked and then figure out where you can be useful. Maybe Jacob could use a hand in the armory.”

“Well, it’s not exactly his choice, now is it?” Shepard thought.

“You got it, Commander,” James said.

Shepard took the elevator up to her cabin and showered off the sweat she’d worked up trying to take Thane down. Garrus was waiting for her, sitting at her desk holding Spike when she stepped out of the bathroom.

“Hey,” she said wrapping an arm over his cowl and kissing the top of his crest.

Garrus purred in contentment before getting up to put Spike away. He turned back to Shepard and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“If it’s alright with you, I thought Grundan Krul and I would go visit a few old friends while on Omega. Unless you need us for the mission?” Garrus asked.

“Mmm. I think I’ll manage without you, just this once,” Shepard said.

Garrus grinned before nuzzling her neck and nipping at her skin with pointed teeth. “Still, you should take someone with you who knows how to deal with Jane.”

 _“I don’t need to be dealt with!”_ Jane snarled.

Shepard knew that was it, she’d lost Jane again. She tried not to frown in disappointment. Things were going so well.

“Garrus, I can’t always build my team around the possibility that Jane might do something,” Shepard said.

 _“You think that just because EDI can see me coming now … that you have those little vials in your pocket that you can stop me from doing what needs to be done? You can’t stop me,”_ Jane said.

 _“Leave her the fuck alone, Jane!”_ The masculine voice rose up from the darkness, bringing with him a wave of fury.

Shepard took a step back, wincing. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Garrus’ flared his mandibles.

“EDI?” Garrus said.

“Yes Mr. Vakarian?” EDI asked.

“Is she alright?” Garrus asked.

The fury left her as quickly as it came. The masculine voice retreated, taking Jane with him.

“Shepard’s brainwave activity is stable, there was a momentary shift but within normal range,” EDI said.

“What’s that mean?” Garrus asked.

“It means I’m fine.” Shepard moved back closer to Garrus.

Garrus fluttered his mandibles, scenting the air around her before nuzzling into her neck again. “Take someone with you for me, Dawn. It’ll give me some peace of mind.”

Shepard laughed. “Are you trying to manipulate me, Mr. Vakarian?”

He nipped at her neck, letting his tongue glide over her skin. “That depends. Is it working?”

Shepard sighed. “I’ll take Mordin. We’ll have time to kill and he might want to check on his clinic anyway.”

“Thank you,” Garrus said giving her neck another nip.

“Garrus?” Shepard said.

“Hmmm?” He nuzzled against her ear, pulling the lobe between his teeth.

Shepard moaned. “You know you’re driving me crazy with that?”

“With what?” He moved his head to the other side of her neck to trail his tongue down her skin.

“ETA, EDI?” Shepard asked.

“We will dock with Omega in one hour and twelve minutes,” EDI said.

Shepard started unfastening Garrus’ armor, eliciting a throaty chuckle from him.

“Why do you do this to me right out of the shower?” Shepard asked pulling his breastplate away.

“You leave training with him smelling like that and your first stop is the shower. I step on that elevator,” Garrus said sliding a hand down between Shepard’s legs, “All I can smell is _you_. It does things to me.”

Shepard gasped. “You’re a strange man, Vakarian. So eager to finish what someone else started.”

“Hmmm. Eventually he’ll start finishing it himself. Let me enjoy the overflow while it lasts.” He picked her up, securing her legs around his waist before carrying her to the bed.

When they lay spent, exhausted in each other’s arms Shepard traced her fingers along the ridges of his chest. “I love you, Garrus Vakarian. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you by my side, but gods am I glad you’re here. When you turned me away on Omega, I thought I’d lost you forever and I didn’t know if I’d find the will to continue this fight without you. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t agreed to come with me.”

“I wasn’t in a good spot, Dawn. The whole situation was …,” Garrus said.

“FUBAR?” Shepard said.

“Yeah. But I wasn’t so far gone that I didn’t know what was at stake … and even though it hurt like hell to see you, I couldn’t bear the thought of watching you leave without me.” Garrus pulled Shepard in a little closer.

“Sometimes I feel like the most selfish person in the galaxy, knowing what I did and still getting involved with you. Hell, knowing even now that there’s a damn good chance I won’t come out on the other side of this thing and still here I am asking for your heart,” Shepard said.

“Don’t. You’re going to make it through this, Shepard. Even if I have to pull your ass out of the fire myself, so don’t,” Garrus said.

“If I don’t though –,” Shepard said.

“Dawn,” Garrus warned.

She propped herself up on her elbow so she could see his eyes. “I’ll fight like hell to survive, Garrus. I promise you, that. But if things go sideways, I need to know that you’ll be OK. I need to know that you aren’t going to let it destroy you.”

Careful with his bared talons, Garrus pushed a lock of hair out of Shepard’s face. The pain in his eyes chipped away at her soul. He smiled at her, but the warmth never reached his eyes.

“I love you, too, Dawn Shepard,” Garrus said.

“Promise me,” Shepard whispered.

“I promise,” he said.

 _“He’s lying.”_ Jane pushed back into Shepard’s thoughts, bitter and angry.

“I know,” Shepard thought.

She laid her head back on his chest and squeezed her eyes closed, refusing to let herself shed the tears that stung at her eyes.

 _“You shouldn’t have ever told him or anyone else about me,”_ Jane said.

“ETA thirty minutes, Shepard,” EDI said.

 _“I couldn’t do this on my own. You’re the one that insisted that things needed to change, and I couldn’t do it on my own,”_ Shepard thought.

Shepard sucked in a deep breath. “Thanks, EDI.”

Shepard and Garrus took turns using the restroom before getting dressed. As usual, he was dressed and in his armor before Shepard. Garrus helped her into her armor and kissed her before leaving the cabin. Shepard checked the thermal clips on all of her guns and asked EDI to notify Mordin and Samara to meet her at the airlock before heading down herself.

An unfamiliar batarian waited for them when Shepard stepped out onto Omega. “Aria wants to see you.”

“Of course she does,” Shepard said.

“Just go through those doors, then to Afterlife straight ahead. She’s in the back,” he said.

 _“She’s probably going to have you kill him next, and you’ll do it just so you can keep up the charade,”_ Jane said. _“Tell me, how exactly do you choose which of your friends’ lives to ruin by telling them our little secret and getting in the middle of their business while keeping others in the dark?”_

Shepard nodded and the batarian walked away. Garrus moved to stand in front of Shepard, watching the batarian until he disappeared through the doors.

“Fuck you, Jane,” Shepard thought.

“You sure you don’t need me with you on this?” Garrus asked.

“I’m sure. Go, do your thing. If I need you, I’ll call you,” Shepard said.

Garrus kissed her before he and Grundan Krul walked down the hall ahead of her. Shepard turned to Samara and Mordin.

“Who is Aria?” Samara asked.

 _“Someone who is completely worthless to us now that Dawn knows exactly where everything and everyone is on Omega, but she keeps catering to the bitch anyway,”_ Jane said.

“Someone you’ll probably want to kill on sight,” Shepard said.

“Asari. Calls herself Queen of Omega. Bad tempered. Everyone on Omega afraid of her. Still, keeps Omega running efficiently,” Mordin said.

 _“Efficiently? This is efficient? This place is a hellhole. A true den of thieves,”_ Jane said.

“It would be a den of thieves with or without Aria. At least with Aria we know who we’re dealing with, and we know that when push comes to shove, she’ll step up and help us out in the war,” Shepard thought.

“I see,” Samara said.

Shepard led them through the doors and across the open floor to Afterlife. She was surprised by the lack of line, normally there were people lined up halfway back to the door waiting to get into Afterlife. She stopped and looked around, down towards the doors leading to the markets and back up towards the transportation platform. The whole place looked empty. She opened the door and stepped inside.

Shepard stopped in her tracks inside the foyer. Bullet holes peppered the screens that lined the walls, the dancing flames the screens normally displayed flickered in and out of existence. Bodies littered the floor. Civilians who were at the bar enjoying themselves left for dead wherever they fell. Shepard drew her pistol, Samara and Mordin doing the same.

Shepard continued through the foyer and into the bar itself. No asari danced even though the music still played. More bodies slumped in booths, sprawled across tables. Civilians, dancers, and mercenaries wearing the colors of every major group on Omega. Broken tables and bodies had been pushed aside to clear a path. Blood splattered the walls, floors, and bar. The red lighting of Afterlife made it impossible to tell the violet blood of asari from the blue blood of turian or the red blood of everyone else. Shepard looked around her again, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end.

 _“Oh look at this, someone made a mess of Afterlife. I bet you Aria wants you to clean it up,”_ Jane said.

“Fight recent. Within the last two hours. Blood still fresh. No signs of rigor mortis,” Mordin said looking at his omni-tool. “Asari, turian, human, batarian, krogan, and vorcha.”

Shepard rounded the bar and had to step over two dead asari left in the middle of the floor. Samara remained stoically silent as her eyes looked over the bar. The stairs that led to Aria’s office were guarded on both sides by a handful of batarians and turians. Shepard wasn’t surprised that Aria had beefed up her security, whatever the hell had happened would have shaken anyone; even Aria.

“They’re all gone now, don’t need the guns. Put ‘em away or you’re not going up,” a batarian said.

“What happened here?” Shepard put her pistol away and nodded to the others to do the same.

“I said don’t touch me!” Aria screamed at someone from up above.

“Ask Aria,” he said, nodding his head toward the stairs.

The guards moved out of Shepard’s way and she walked up the stairs in time to see a batarian fly across the room surrounded by biotic energy.

“Shepard, get your ass up here and bring Solus.” Aria barked out the order as if expecting it to be followed without question the moment Shepard came into view.

 _“You shouldn’t let her talk to you like that. It sets a bad precedent. She’ll think she can bend you to her will whenever she wants, and what does it make your team think?”_ Jane said.

Shepard was halfway up the second set of stairs when the crowd in front of Aria shifted enough for her to see the asari. Aria was bleeding, her hands pressed against her abdomen covered in violet blood. Mordin rushed forward, shoving the guards who tried to stop him out of his way until Aria barked at them to let him through. Mordin had his omni-tool open and was scanning Aria before she could protest. Shepard made her way up the remaining steps to stand in front of the pair, Samara at her side.

“You brought a Justicar to Omega?” Aria laughed and then hissed through clenched teeth before spitting blood out on the floor at her feet. “I must have made quite the impression on you, Shepard. You here to clean house, Justicar?”

 _“Maybe you should just take Samara off her leash and tell her to have fun. Let her clean house on Omega. The galaxy would be a better place without this disease ridden cesspool,”_ Jane said.

“Seriously, Jane? There are innocent people here, too and no matter how good Samara is she couldn’t get through this entire station without getting killed,” Shepard thought.

 _“Does it really matter? Samara’s life is insignificant in all of this; everyone’s is because the only life that matters in the end is yours. You have to be the one to make the decision in the end, Dawn.”_ Jane taunted Shepard, stretching out and pushing against the boundaries of Shepard’s consciousness. _“Destroy the reapers and kill off all AI’s, control them and spend eternity up there waiting and watching until you lose all touch of your humanity, or give yourself over to the galaxy to merge AI and organic life.”_

“Shepard, biometric scans are indicating that it may be time to use your breathing exercises, or perhaps the ammonium carbonate,” EDI said into Shepard’s comm.

“Copy that,” Shepard said back.

Shepard took a deep breath and let it out through her nose.

 _“Of course, we both know no matter what you decide you’re going to just wake up again. Just like me, just like all of the rest of us. You’re going to wake up and be completely, utterly helpless. Maybe you’ll get to watch as Garrus or Thane fall in love with a new Shepard.”_ Jane pushed a little harder, not quite demanding control but unbalancing Shepard. _“They won’t see you, you know. They won’t hear you. Won’t even know you’re there unless I manage to break through again. But even still, it’s my voice she’ll hear, not yours. You’ll be nothing more than an insignificant, weak, crumbling shell of a person just like all the rest of them!”_

Shepard winced and pinched the bridge of her nose, taking in another deep breath and letting it out slowly. She acknowledged the anger and the heartache Jane was throwing at her and tried to let it go.

“I am not. I am here for one person in particular, Shepard believes you might be able to tell us where to find her,” Samara said.

“That right? Well, sorry to disappoint but I’m kind of in the middle of something here,” Aria said. “What’s wrong with you, Shepard? The human Spectre can’t stand the sight of a little blood?”

Jane laughed the sound echoing off the walls of Shepard’s skull. _“Relax, Dawn. Take your deep breaths and relax. I’m not ready to come out and play, not just yet. There’s someone in here that I need to deal with first. So play your little diplomatic games with Aria. I’ll see you soon enough.”_

Jane stopped pushing, the building pressure and onslaught of emotions extinguished. Mordin looked over his shoulder at Shepard and she gave him a slight shake of her head.

“It’s just a headache. The deep breathing helps, I’m fine now,” Shepard said.

“Bullet’s still inside. Should go to clinic. Better yet, Normandy. Cleaner med bay, high-tech equipment. Can remove bullet and close wound,” Mordin said.

“No,” Aria said.

“Aria.” Mordin gave her a stern look. “Don’t be foolish. Will die if don’t remove bullet.”

“So remove it here. I’m not leaving this spot,” Aria said spitting out more blood.

Shepard hit her mic. “EDI, tell Dr. Chakwas we need her to prep a kit to remove a bullet lodged in the lower abdomen of a very obstinate asari and then have Jack escort her to Afterlife.”

“At once, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Samara is looking for an Ardat-Yakshi, she’s going by the name Morinth. I know you have to know something about her, Aria. She’s on Omega,” Shepard said.

“An Ardat-Yakshi? I might know something about that. I think I’ll keep it to myself until this bullet is out. Consider it insurance,” Aria said.

Shepard crossed her arms. “Fine. So what the hell happened here?”

Aria smirked. “Just every merc group in the place thinking they could seize control of Omega. They’ve been planning this for a while now. I was getting bored waiting for them to make their move.”

 _“This is your fault, too. Garrus wasn’t keeping them occupied, didn’t have them too tied up to focus on Aria. We knew that they were planning on going after her next,”_ Jane said.

“Explains her bad mood last time,” Shepard thought more to herself than to Jane.

“They got cocky, came under prepared. The rest of them pulled back, no doubt to lick their wounds before they try again,” Aria said.

“Shepard?” Garrus broke through Shepard’s comm.

“I’m here, Garrus,” she said.

“You need to get out of Afterlife or call in reinforcements. You’ve got mercs headed to Afterlife in swarms. We’re headed back to you now,” Garrus said.

“Shit,” Shepard said.

Jane laughed.

“EDI send in the rest of the team, full gear tell them to get to Afterlife on the double. Tell Jack and Dr. Chakwas I want them here now,” Shepard said.

“Aria, I hate to break it to you but I think they’re done licking their wounds,” Shepard said.

Aria started to push herself to her feet, hissing through her teeth. Mordin tried to urge her to sit back down but she gently shoved him away.

“Don’t make me fling you across the room, Mordin,” Aria said.

 _“Oh what fun! We’re going to get to fight, Dawn! Aren’t you excited? I can feel your blood pumping in your veins. You love the fight, don’t you, Dawn? Maybe we should have been born krogan. Do you think a krogan Commander Shepard would be here cleaning up Aria’s mess?”_ Jane asked.

“Get out of my goddamn way,” Jack’s voice carried up from below.

“One of yours?” Aria asked.

“Yeah,” Shepard said. “Sit down, Aria. The doctor’s here; let them do their thing.”

 _“Aw, come on Dawn, are you ignoring me now? You know that’s not very nice,”_ Jane said.

“Let them up you dimwitted assholes,” Aria yelled.

 _“Come on, Dawn. You were doing so good. Stay with me, alright?”_ Jane parroted back Shepard’s words from earlier in the day.

Jack and Dr. Chakwas climbed the stairs, Dr. Chakwas moving right to her patient.

“Lie down, you’re making it worse,” Dr. Chakwas said. “Oh don’t look at me like that. I know who you are, Ms. T’Loak and I don’t care, now lie down.”

Aria snarled at the doctor but let Dr. Chakwas push her back down on the couch. One of the turian guards chuffed in amusement and Aria hit him with a Reave, sucking some of his life from him into herself as he dropped to a knee.

“What the fuck happened out there?” Jack asked.

“Mercs, and there are more on the way. EDI’s calling in the rest of the team,” Shepard said.

“Sweet, finally something to do,” Jack said.

 _“See, that’s the spirit! We can always rely on Jack to look forward to a fight. Of course, you’re risking her life to save Aria’s. I’m not so sure that’s a fair trade if things don’t go according to plan. And who knows? They might not; none of this is in the script!”_ Jane said.

“For fucksake, Jane, will you shut the hell up?” Shepard thought.

 _“You didn’t say please,”_ Jane said.

Shepard clenched her jaw and thought, “Please?”

 _“Hmmmm, no, I don’t think so,”_ Jane said.

“Terrel, Roc, Bray, get on the doors. No one comes in without giving Shepard’s name.” Aria said.

“Did you get that, EDI?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Pass it on to the whole team,” Shepard said.

“At once, Shepard. Garrus and Grundan Krul should be arriving at the back doors in less than a minute. The rest of the team is leaving the Normandy now,” EDI said.

 _“Oh, I do hope they get here before all of the fun starts,”_ Jane said.

“Lock the ship down once their out,” Shepard said.

“Locking the Normandy down,” EDI said.

Aria waved Shepard over. She crouched down next to the wounded asari.

“Why are you doing this?” Aria asked.

 _“Look at her. You could kill her now so easily if you wanted to; just tell your team to walk away. You know a part of you wants to, Dawn. After the way she treated you,”_ Jane said. _“She has no respect for you, no respect for who we are. She doesn’t deserve your help. And for what? So she’ll throw a few mercenaries your way when the reapers come?”_

Shepard smirked. “You never know when I might need a real favor, something more than a little information.”

 _“Oh, you know what I just thought of? If you take down Cerberus, Cerberus will never take Omega! How lovely, you’re already doing her a favor. Do you think if you tell her about it, about how you’re saving her station from a future Cerberus attack she’ll be nice to you?”_ Jane asked.

Aria hissed as Dr. Chakwas pulled the bullet free from her abdomen. Mordin was ready with Medi-gel and sutures. Aria studied Shepard intently before she smiled.

“I like you, Shepard. You’re as ruthless as everyone says,” Aria said turning her head to look up at the ceiling.

“I do what needs to be done, that’s it,” Shepard said.

“That right? Tell me, Shepard, do you believe your own bullshit?” Aria asked.

“Shepard, what’s the plan?” Garrus asked from behind her.

She turned to see him standing at the top of the stairs with Grundan Krul at his side.

“Archangel,” Aria said.

 _“Oops, that can’t be good,”_ Jane said.

All of Aria’s guards immediately had their weapons pointed at Garrus. His mandibles fluttered.

“I’m a little surprised you found him, Shepard. Even more surprised you got him to leave Omega with you,” Aria said.

“We go way back,” Shepard said glancing at Aria. “You two know each other?”

“Put your damn guns away you idiots,” Aria said. “Archangel and I had a little agreement. He took care of a few things for me and I let him play vigilante.”

 _“Took care of a few things? Now what could that possibly mean? Do you think he killed for her? Smuggled weapons for her? Drugs? Or do you think he just fucked her?”_ Jane asked.

Garrus fluttered his mandibles again. Grundan Krul turned to look at him; Shepard thought this was news to the batarian, too. Shepard stood up when she heard the noise of her team coming in down below. She headed for the stairs; Garrus fell into step next to her. Jack, Samara, and Grundan Krul behind them.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” Garrus said.

“We can talk about it later. Tell me what we’re facing, what’d you see on your way here?” Shepard asked as the others moved in around her to listen.

 _“You’re curious. I can feel it; you want to know why he and Aria are so chummy. Will it bother you? If he fucked her? What would be worse, killing for her or smuggling weapons and drugs?”_ Jane asked.

Garrus and Grundan Krul detailed their best approximations of numbers from each band of mercs that they saw as well as the mechs and overheard mention of a gunship. Shepard suppressed a shudder as memories filled her mind of Garrus lying in a pool of his own blood, gasping for breath after having taken a rocket to the face from what was very likely the same gunship coming for them now. She looked around Afterlife.

“Fuck you, Jane,” Shepard thought.

“They won’t be able to get a gunship in here,” Shepard said. “They’ll probably station it right out front, ready to take out anyone who goes through those doors. It’ll do a number on the club, possibly even cave in the entrance if we don’t get it taken out quick enough. This isn’t the best location for a fight.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Commander, I’m ready to follow orders but why _are_ we in this fight? Aria wasn’t exactly warm and welcoming the last time we were here,” Jacob said.

Shepard rubbed her fingers over her brow. “Because, Jacob, believe it or not, Aria is the best that this place can hope for. If she goes down, Omega will fall into real waste … and there’s something to be said for having the Queen of Omega owe you one. The reapers are coming, and we’ll need every body we can get in that fight.”

 _“What she means, Jacob, is that we’re all here to beg Aria for table scraps just like good little lap dogs,”_ Jane said.

Jacob studied her, his brown eyes intense as they took measure of her words. Finally he nodded his head.

“Where do you want us?” he asked.

Shepard turned to look behind her up at Aria’s office. The asari was standing in the window, looking down at Shepard and her crew. A wicked grin on her face as a hand rested over her freshly patched wound. She turned to say something to someone behind her.

“Garrus and Thane with snipers up there. Grunt and Zaeed you’re up by the front door. James and Legion take the back door. Everyone else, scatter throughout and take cover when the bullets start flying,” Shepard said.

Shepard turned back to the stairs in time to see Aria making her way down. Her hodgepodge mix of guards followed in her wake, like satellites locked in orbit around her. She came to a stop in front of Shepard, her head high and her shoulders back.

Aria lifted her hand and waved them away. “Go make yourselves useful. Get into position somewhere and be ready for a fight.”

She waited until they had scattered, Shepard’s team moving into assigned positions before speaking.

“Tell me Shepard, what is it you hope to gain from this power display?” Aria asked. “I never asked you to do this, we’ve made no agreement. If you think you can intimidate me with your collection of toy soldiers, with your Spectre title, then you’re far more stupid than I would have guessed.”

 _“Tsk, tsk, tsk,”_ Jane said.

“It’s not a power display, Aria.” Shepard cocked her hip and crossed her arms. “Consider it a tactical move to keep someone in control that actually cares about what they have. Someone who is willing to fight to keep what they have, and when the time comes, someone who is smart enough to make the sacrifices that will be needed to make sure that Omega is able to continue to exist by helping to make sure the galaxy continues to exist.”

            Aria threw her head back in laughter, waving her hand around indicating something more than Afterlife. “You’ve come to Omega to recruit? Are you really that desperate to find someone to believe you about the reapers?”

            _“She makes it so easy to want to walk away, doesn’t she?”_ Jane asked.

            Shepard smirked. “What makes you so sure the Council doesn’t believe me? You think they’d make some big announcement, get every civilian in Council space in a panic? Come on Aria, would you tell everyone on Omega that some terrible enemy was coming at an unknown time to destroy everything they know and love and expect them to not flea for their lives leaving Omega an empty shell of what it once was? Watch as all trade ground to a halt. The economy fell. Riots erupted in the streets. Or would you hold it close to your chest, prepare in secret as best you could and do your damnedest to pull in support from every powerhouse you could reach?”

            _“The scandal! Dawn, you’re resorting to giving away Council secrets to Aria!”_ Jane laughed; the sound grating on Shepard’s nerves.

            Aria crossed her arms, all sign of mirth vanished from her face. She tapped her fingers against the white leather sleeves of her jacket, pursing her lips as she studied Shepard.

            “Alright, Shepard. Suppose the reapers are real. What do you want with Omega? The people of Omega aren’t exactly soldier material,” Aria said.

            “I’m not looking for soldiers. I’m looking for people who are willing and able to fight for what’s theirs. This war won’t be fought and won by soldiers alone. It’ll be bigger than all of us,” Shepard said.

            “Save me the speech, Shepard. You’re still not saying what it is you want,” Aria said.

            “When the time comes, Aria, you rally your troops and you send them where they can be the most useful. Not because I’m here today helping you, but because you’re smart enough to know that if the reapers win, you lose,” Shepard said. “Think about it.”

            _“You really are rather pathetic, you know that?”_ Jane said.

            Grunt’s voice broke through her comms. “They’re here.”

            Shepard drew her assault rifle and activated her incendiary ammo. “It’s show time.”

            _“Yippie-ki-yay!”_ Jane said.

            Shepard turned to face the door as Aria flared, biotic energy licking around her. Grunt and Zaeed tore into the first few mercs stupid enough to approach the nightclub. Shots came from Thane, Garrus, and those few of Aria’s men who were skilled with sniper rifles. The doors acted like a choke point, keeping the mercs funneled directly into the line of fire. Shepard knew it would only be a matter of time before they got smart enough to send men around to the back doors.

            When Grunt and Zaeed were pushed back far enough for mercs to start spilling into the room, Shepard started shooting lighting them on fire with her incendiary ammo. Biotics flared up all around her as Aria, Miranda, Jacob, Jack, and Samara joined the fight. Kasumi appeared briefly behind a merc, sliding her blade in between the plates of his armor before disappearing again. Weapons misfired and jammed as Lia, Legion, and Grundan Krul used Sabotage and Overload to keep them as defenseless as possible.

            “They’re coming in the back, Commander,” James yelled into his mic over the din.

            Aria ordered a handful of her men to focus on the back entrance while Shepard redirected Jacob, Samara, Mordin, and Lia to the back. Shepard activated her biotic Charge and flew into the fray at the back, slamming into a krogan who had just enough time to look at her in shock before she filled him full of holes. Another krogan next to her burst into flames as Mordin used his Incinerate. Shepard danced away from his burning armor before hitting him with a Shockwave, knocking him back into several vorcha. The fire spread to the vorcha, two of which had pyro tanks strapped to their backs making for a spectacular explosion. James whooped in delight as he sprayed the doorway with his assault rifle.

            Shepard felt bullets slam into the back of her armor, taking down her shields. She spun away from the spray and rolled into cover behind the bar. She peeked around the edge and saw a krogan headed right for her location. She ducked out of cover long enough to fire a few rounds, enough to keep his advance slow and cautious but not enough to do much damage.

            “Shields are down and I’ve got a krogan charging,” Shepard said into her mic.

            A heartbeat later the krogan stumbled back as a bullet ripped through his skull. A second one followed it a moment later and the krogan dropped.

            “He’s down, Shepard, you’re clear,” Garrus said.

            “Thanks,” Shepard said ducking out of cover again to fire on a group of vorcha harrying Zaeed.

            “Jack’s down,” Grundan Krul said.

            Shepard popped out of cover, scanning the room until she spotted Grundan Krul. She vaulted over the bar, staying low as she used it as cover to cross the room and vaulted over the other side. Jack lay on her back a few feet from the batarian hunkered down behind an overturned table. Shepard grabbed jack and pulled her across the floor, wary of the broken glass filling the area until she was behind the table with Grundan Krul. She could feel that other presence in the back of her mind, filling her with worry and love for Jack. Then it was gone without a trace and the snarl of Jane returned. She checked Jack’s vitals and activated her Medi-gel dispenser. Jack opened her eyes a moment later and shook her head, trying to scramble back to her feet and into the fray again. Shepard kept her down until her head was clear.

            “You good?” Shepard asked.

            “Yeah, but I’m pissed so get out of my damn way,” Jack said pushing herself up.

            Shepard let her go and Jack stepped out from behind the table, throwing out a massive Shockwave she knocked down three asari and two turians. Shepard and Grundan Krul turned their attention to making sure Jack’s targets didn’t get back up again. Nearby, Grunt and another krogan were locked in a struggle for dominance. Grunt reared back and slammed his head into the other krogan’s. The krogan stumbled back fired his shotgun, the shot missed Grunt completely and slammed into Shepard’s chest, knocking her back on her ass and pushing the air from her lungs.

            “Shepard’s been hit,” Grundan Krul’s voice broke through Shepard’s haze.

            Jane lunged forward, pushing into Shepard’s mind. Shepard gasped for air as she struggled to maintain control.

            _“Use your breathing exercises now, bitch,”_ Jane said.

            “Shepard, your brainwave activity is fluctuating,” EDI said.

            “Gods no,” Shepard thought.

            “Breathe, Shepard.” Grundan Krul’s face loomed over her’s.

            Jane filled her mind with memories of the batarians raiding Mindoir, of watching them slaughter her friends and family. Memories of batarians knocking innocent people to the ground before dragging them away kicking and screaming, stopping to plant a boot in their ribs. Shepard tried to scramble back away from Grundan Krul putting herself in the line of fire, her panic level skyrocketing.

            “Shepard?” Grundan Krul said moving closer, putting himself between her and the mercs.

            Jane pushed again, pain lancing through Shepard’s skull. It felt as if Jane had wrapped her fingers around Shepard’s mind, and then suddenly she yanked. Shepard’s vision shifted and the voices of the others whispered all around her.

            “Shepard, get up!” Garrus screamed in her earpiece.

            Jane sat up and lifted her gun, firing at the handful of Blue Suns that saw her down and scented blood. Her smile shifted into a laugh as her bullets ripped through their armor, lighting them on fire. Dawn raged away inside trying to force her way back out. Jane pulled herself to her feet and dove back behind the table, grabbing Grundan Krul and dragging him with her. The batarian gave her a strange look, one she didn’t remember ever seeing on his face before but then again, Jane hadn’t paid that much attention to him because he was a dead man, and dead men can’t fight wars. She gave him a toothy grin and winked at him.

            “We’re watching you, Jane. All of us,” Garrus’ voice hissed through her comm.

            _“Garrus, please, gods please get me out of here!”_ Dawn said.

            “Hush now, I’m busy,” Jane thought.

            Jane looked over her shoulder and up at Garrus perched in the window of Aria’s office. She blew him a kiss and waved.

            “We’ve got mechs!” Zaeed called out.

            “You shouldn’t be watching me; you should be watching the mechs!” Jane said into her mic.

            _“Jane, why are you doing this?”_ Dawn asked.

            “I was bored, and they’re being loud and annoying today. Can’t you just feel them in their crawling around inside your thoughts? Why _wouldn’t_ I do this? It’s the perfect time, all of your anti-Jane heroes are too busy fighting to stop me and of course, they can’t very well take me out in the middle of this! How would they explain _that_?” Jane thought.

            The bodies were piling up so thick that it was getting more and more difficult to navigate the battlefield. Jane moved back to the bar, stepping on two dead krogan in the process with a gleeful smile. She launched herself over the bar and took up position behind the curve right in front of the doors. She switched to her pistol and activated her incendiary ammo before popping up to shoot at the LOKIs coming through the foyer. When the YMIR came into sight ducking low to get through the doors and into the foyer Jane holstered her pistol and pulled her grenade launcher forward. She glanced over when Aria ducked down behind the bar beside her, her shotgun out picking off the remaining LOKI advancing on Shepard’s location.

            “I could kill her for you, Dawn. You want me to do that so you don’t have to?” Jane thought.

            _“Please,”_ Dawn sobbed. _“Please don’t do this. Just let me out.”_

“You’re just no fun at all today,” Jane thought.

The mech’s shields were already drained by the time Jane got her grenade launcher up. Putting the YMIR in the crosshairs, she pulled the trigger twice. The mech stopped moving just before it exploded. Jane caught the feral grin from the asari next to her as she switched back to her pistol and gave her a wild grin of her own. Aria stood and used her biotic Lash to rip a salarian off of his feet and pull him forward, slamming him against the bar before she shot him. The flow of mercs slowed to a trickle.

“Like I said, Shepard. Ruthless,” Aria said.

“You got me, Aria, what can I say?” Jane said.

“I am monitoring the mercenaries’ communications. They are sounding a retreat. It appears that they have decided they have lost too many and are unable to take Afterlife at this time.” EDI’s voice came through the comm.

Jane turned to Aria with a pout. “They’re retreating.”

“Like hell they are, they made the mistake of coming back for more. I’m finishing this thing,” Aria said vaulting over the bar and running for the door.

Jane slid across the top of the bar and ran after her. Aria stopped in the foyer and used her biotic Flare to knock back the few Eclipse still lingering in the entrance. Jane shot at them as they tried to recover, her shots wild meant only to keep them off their feet.

“Shepard! Shepard, where are you going?” Garrus voice was thick with concern, nearing frantic.

“After Aria!” Jane said.

Jane ran down the stairs of Afterlife and spun to the sound of gunfire. The mercs were retreating to the right; a shuttle hovered at the end of the transportation stand, its doors opened as mercs climbed inside. More on the ground fired at Aria as she ducked behind a parked skycar. The shuttle closed and flew off only to be replaced by another. Jane ducked down behind the safety railing and fired at the retreating mercs. Another shuttle filled and flew away. Another took its place. Aria yelled profanities at the retreating mercs, flinging her biotics far more than she was using her gun.

“Aria!” Jane yelled but the sound of her voice was lost over the sound of the gunship arriving.

“Fuck! We’ve got the gunship,” Jane yelled into her mic as she switched to her grenade launcher again. “I’m going to need more heavy weapons ammo, so if there’s any in there it sure would be nice to have.”

“I’m on it, Ídolo,” James said.

“You’re a peach, James. A real peach,” Jane said.

The gunship rose up, hovering above and behind the mercs’ escape shuttle. Jane brought up her grenade launcher and watched in horror as a rocket left the ship. She pulled the trigger on the grenade launcher three times before ducking down again. The rocket slammed into the row of skycars, flipping them up into the air and in a twisted mass of metal and fire. Jane couldn’t see Aria anywhere.

 _“Gods, she couldn’t survive that,”_ Dawn said.

“I didn’t even have to do it for you!” Jane thought.

Jane popped out of cover and fired her last grenade. The airship maneuvered out of the way and her grenade hit the shuttle instead. The shuttle spun out of control and collided with the railing; spilling lucky mercs back out onto the transportation platform while the unlucky ones tumbled down into the darkness below. Jane whooped with delight. James was at her side with a crate of ammo. Jane riffled though it, grabbing the grenades and slamming them into her launcher. James lifted his assault rifle, giving her covering fire while she reloaded. A second later, Garrus slid behind the railing next to her and lifted his sniper rifle, aiming for the pilot.

“Garrus get out of here,” Jane said.

“Not happening,” Garrus said.

“That thing still has rockets,” Jane said. “It would be terrible if one of those things hit you, Garrus. Might scuff up your metal plating.”

 _“You fucking bitch. Let me out of here. What the fuck is wrong with you?”_ Dawn pushed and pulled trying to get Jane out of her body.

“Tut, tut. I’m just reminding him of how dangerous that thing is for him. He’s lucky you already saved him from that gruesome fate once,” Jane thought.

He growled at her but didn’t leave. She knew he wouldn’t. Jane pulled the trigger once before she had to dive back under cover as the gunship let loose a spray of bullets in her direction.

“Where’s Aria?” Garrus asked.

Jane nodded her head towards the flaming ruins. A rocket soared past them, inches away from where Garrus had taken cover and slammed into one of the planters that divided the path to the markets and apartments, erupting in flames. Dawn beat frantically at Jane’s will. As soon as there was a pause in the fire again, Jane ducked back out and pulled the trigger twice more.

“It’s going down,” James said.

Jane peered over the edge to see the gunship in flames as it spun out of control before careening and crashing into the edge of the transportation platform. The platform creaked and groaned as a chunk of it was ripped loose to fall into the darkness with the gunship and the few mercs left standing there waiting for escape. More of her crew and Aria’s men began spilling out of Afterlife as Jane got to her feet and ran to the mass of burning cars.

“Aria?!” Shepard yelled.

“Shepard!” Garrus yelled running after her.

“I am detecting life signs buried beneath the wreckage. Aria is still alive,” EDI said.

“Hmmm. What would Dawn do here? What. Would. Dawn. Do. Oh, I know, you’d try to save her life, right? Am I right? Yeah, of course I am,” Jane thought.

“Let her go, Jane!” Garrus hissed.

“I need biotics over here now!” Jane yelled into her mic.

“I can’t do that, Garrus! There’s a woman trapped under there, she needs our help. Dawn’s fine, stop worrying,” Jane said.

 _“OK, Jane,”_ Dawn said sounding defeated. _“You’ve had your fun, you won the fight. Game’s over.”_

Samara was the first to Jane’s side, Miranda, Jacob, and Jack hot on her heels.

“I don’t think so,” Jane thought as Thane stepped up next to her.

“She’s still alive, we need to get this crap off of her,” Jane said.

Samara flared with biotic energy, directing it at a hunk of twisted red metal near the top. The other’s joined their energy with hers, Jane using her own as best she could to stabilize the mess. Miranda took control of the situation, directing the others as to which piece to move in what order casting furtive glances at Jane as they worked. When something slid that she didn’t want moving, Jane moved to hold it in place for her. It took them ten minutes to get things moved enough that Jane was finally able to hear Aria’s voice.

“Hurry the fuck up, I can’t hold this all night!” Aria said.

A couple of minutes later, the mess was cleared enough that Jane could see Aria crouching, biotic energy pushed out around her in a small dome. There was no way that it alone had been enough to keep the cars from crushing her, but it had been enough to divert the first bits of debris that rained down on her. Those bits formed the base that held up the rest of the mess, keeping Aria alive.

“You are one lucky sonofabitch, Aria,” Jane said.

 _“Jane, please!”_ Dawn said. _“I can’t do this, they won’t shut up. They won’t shut up.”_

Jane smiled and stepped back between Garrus and Thane, both watching her like a hawk. She beamed at both of them.

“Garrus looks really mad,” Jane thought. “Not Thane, though. Look at him; he’s as calm as ever. Maybe I can actually talk to him. Do you think he’d listen?”

 _“I don’t know, Jane. I don’t know. I’ll talk to him for you, tell him whatever you want, just please let me out,”_ Dawn said.

“It’s safe to let go. It’s stable enough that you should be able to crawl out now,” Miranda said.

Aria hesitantly dropped her dome, letting it slowly fizzle away before crawling out from beneath the remainder of the mess. Aria stood and brushed ash from her jacket, squaring her shoulders.

“You’re welcome,” Miranda said.

Aria smirked at Miranda and walked past her back to Afterlife. Jane’s team moved in around her as she followed the asari up the stairs. Jane waved everyone else inside and stopped outside of the nightclub, Thane and Garrus grinding to a halt next to her. Jane stood and watched as the Queen of Omega strolled down the foyer to go back to her throne.

 _“Please,”_ Dawn said.

Aria waved a hand around. “Somebody clean up this mess. I want this place back open tonight, I’m losing money.”

She turned to Garrus and reached for his face but he jerked away. “I really am sorry about that whole shooting you thing. You should probably be ready to catch her, she’s probably going to drop when I let go.”

Jane let go.

 

 

           


	30. Chapter 29: Destroy

**Chapter 29: Destroy**

            “No, I’m fine. I need to do what we came here to do. This entire fucking mess might have already spooked Morinth. She might not even be at Afterlife tonight,” Shepard said. “If she’s not, I need to find her before she leaves Omega. I’m not going to do this to Samara. I’m just not. Their damn scans can wait.”

            Garrus pulled his mandibles in tight. “Shepard, you just collapsed in my arms after being taken for a joyride. You are not fine. You agreed to go to Dr. Chakwas right away when this happens.”

            Shepard threw her arms out to her sides before letting her hands fall down to slap against her thighs. “What good are the scans going to do, Garrus? Jane isn’t some disease that they can find a cure for it they just keep looking.”

            “No, but maybe they can find a way to kill her – destroy her connection, whatever!” Garrus said.

            “I don’t want that, Garrus.” Shepard paced back and forth between Thane and Garrus. “And even if I did, you don’t know what something like that would do to me! Jane is a part of me, what if destroying her leaves me brain dead or something?”

            “They’d never do it if they weren’t certain they could do it without hurting you, but you’ve got to give them the chance to try and understand what’s going on here,” Garrus said.

            “You don’t understand. It – it isn’t her fault. I … I can’t just cut her out of me because things went bad,” Shepard said.

            “Spirits. She torments you on a daily basis and you’re _defending_ her?” Garrus’ shook his head in bewilderment before looking to Thane. “See if you can talk some sense into her. Maybe she’ll listen to you.”

            “Garrus, the scans can wait. Will you just trust me to look after my own health, please?” Shepard asked.

            “I’m afraid that it’s not either of them that you need to convince, Commander.” Dr. Chakwas walked toward them, stopping to lean against the doorframe and crossed her arms.

            Shepard growled in frustration. “Twenty minutes, just you. If they need something scanned, poked, or prodded you can do it for them. I’m not wasting all night on this.”

            “Thirty minutes, and you come back for more tests when you’re through with your mission,” Dr. Chakwas countered.

            “Dr. Chakwas, I –,” Shepard said.

            “Siha,” Thane said.

            Shepard looked at him and he raised an eyebrow. She looked to Garrus and he flared his mandibles, brow plates raised. She looked back at Dr. Chakwas and the woman smiled, knowing she had won. Shepard growled again and crossed her arms.

            “Fine. But one of you is figuring out a legitimate sounding excuse to tell Samara. EDI, call them back to the Normandy,” Shepard turned and stormed off for the airlock. “Someone tell Aria I’ll be back in a half hour.”

            Dr. Chakwas followed Shepard back to the Normandy and watched her with crossed arms as they waited for EDI to get the doors back opened. Shepard walked onto the Normandy without saying a word to anyone and took the elevator to the med bay. Dr. Chakwas remained just as silent beside her.

            “Alright, what do you need me to do?” Shepard asked.

            “For starters, remove your armor,” Dr. Chakwas said. “And then you can try to remember that we’re trying to help you, Commander.”

            Shepard sighed as she worked at the clips on her armor. “I know, doc, I know. There’s just so much I’m trying to do here. So much I’m trying to balance and find time for and I can’t do that if I’m having to stop to run to the med bay to get scanned every five minutes.”

            “Is it happening every five minutes?” Dr. Chakwas looked up from her omni-tool with a raised eyebrow.

            Shepard groaned. “You know what I mean.”

            “Sit down, Shepard.” Dr. Chakwas said waving a hand at the bed. “I can’t begin to imagine how incredibly frustrating this is for you, but you have to know that this is a serious matter. Jane is clearly unstable, and unpredictable. Unfortunately, the one person that I knew who could have helped Jane is no longer alive … so it is my job to do what I can to help you instead.”

            “I’m so sorry about Dr. Tulina. I didn’t know that was going to happen … I’m sorry,” Shepard said.

            “Mmm. She was pregnant. I was going to be a father,” Dr. Chakwas said beginning the scans.

            Shepard’s jaw dropped. “I – I … gods, Karin, I’m so sorry.”

            Dr. Chakwas gave Shepard a grim smile. “You’ve never called me that before, Commander. I guess something like this does tend to rip formality apart. We hadn’t told anyone yet. We were waiting for the right time. I’m not sure when I thought that would be … but it doesn’t matter now.”

            Shepard threw her arms around the woman in front of her, crushing her to her chest. Dr. Chakwas let out a startled gasp followed by a soft chuckle. She wrapped her arms around Shepard and patted her back.

            “It’s alright, Commander. I’ve had more than two years now to deal with the loss. I’ve accepted it as much as anyone can with these things.” Dr. Chakwas pulled away with a sniffle and wiped a tear from her eye before clearing her throat. “Here now, sit still if you want out of this med bay and back out on Omega in thirty minutes.”

            Shepard watched the doctor as she worked, running her omni-tool at a snail’s pace over and around Shepard’s head. She offered her arm without complaint when Dr. Chakwas asked for a blood sample and even kept quiet when she asked to swab the inside of Shepard’s mouth, even though Shepard really didn’t see the point in that. When finally Dr. Chakwas said she could leave, Shepard rearmed and re-armored herself before stopping next to the med bay door.

            “You’ve already lost so much working with me. Why do you stay?” Shepard asked.

            Dr. Chakwas took a deep breath and smiled. “Because I didn’t lose you, too, dear. Even if it seemed that way for a while. You’re going to figure this all out and make those collector sonsofbitches pay, and then you’re going to shove your boot right up those reapers’ asses and I’m going to be there to put you back together again when you do.”

            Shepard laughed. “Such language, doc. I love it.”

            Dr. Chakwas chuckled. “Besides, who else will make sure Joker takes his medication?”

            Shepard grinned and left the med bay, having EDI call Samara and Mordin back out to the airlock as she went. She took the elevator up to the CIC and waited with Mordin until Samara arrived. Mordin watched her with steady eyes, making her feel as if she were a specimen he wanted to dissect.

            “I’m fine,” Shepard said.

            Mordin smiled. “Was considering possibility of drawing Jane out intentionally. Under secure conditions, of course. Direct observation, tests during phenomenon. Would provide more information, allow more insight. Was unable to observe much, many distractions in battle. Behavior fascinating, relatively normal. Continued to fight, saved Aria, surrendered control voluntarily.”

            Shepard cast a wary glance at Mordin as the elevator opened and Samara walked out. “We’ll talk about this later.”

            Mordin smiled and turned his attention to Samara as she approached. Samara had a concerned look on her face when she stopped in front of Shepard.

            “Shepard, are you well? They said you were injured and being tended to in the med bay,” Samara said.

            “Shotgun blast to chest, bruised ribs. Nothing serious,” Mordin said.

            Shepard glanced at Mordin and he blinked. “Yeah, I’m good. They just wanted to make sure nothing was broken before the implants caused a bone to mend wrong. You ready?”

            “I see. Yes, I am ready,” Samara said.

            Shepard saw something in the asari’s eyes that unsettled her. Just as the day they first met, Shepard felt like Samara was seeing something in her no one else could. It was unnerving. They left the airlock and made their way back into Omega. The twisted mass of metal still smoldered on what was left of the transportation platform, but no one seemed to care enough to put it out. The area was still empty, Shepard imagined that in a lawless place like Omega, when something this big went down people closed up shop and locked themselves away until the dust settled.

            Shepard was shocked to find that the foyer was already cleared of bodies and Aria’s goons were at work cleaning blood off the floor. A couple of them looked up when she walked in but quickly averted their eyes and got back to work. Bodies still littered the floor in the bar itself but men were working to fix that.

            “Where are they taking the bodies?” Samara asked.

            “I don’t think I want to know,” Shepard said.

            “Incinerators,” Mordin said.

            Shepard shuddered. They picked their way through the mess where they were waved up the stairs by guards. Shepard spotted Aria sitting on her couch, her arms spread wide across the back of the cushions with a smug grin of satisfaction on her face.

            “Shepard, you ran off so fast, I thought perhaps you’d changed your mind about chasing down your Ardat-Yakshi,” Aria said.

            Shepard climbed the steps and stopped in front of Aria. “Doctor insisted on looking at my ribs. I’m fine, by the way.”

            Aria stood and turned her back to Shepard, looking out over her bar. “You did me a favor, Shepard. That doesn’t make us friends, so don’t mistake me for someone who cares. Your Ardat-Yakshi’s latest victim lived in the tenements, to the left when you leave here. Follow the signs. I’m sure her distraught mother can give you some information.”

            “You have known of her existence, and you have done nothing to kill her?” Samara asked.

            “She isn’t my problem; she hasn’t tried seducing me or messed with my business. Why should I care?” Aria asked.

            “You are asari, it is the way with Ardat-Yakshi,” Samara said.

            “This isn’t Thessia, Justicar,” Aria said.

            Shepard stepped up next to Aria. “Think you’ll get this place opened tonight?”

            Aria glanced at Shepard. “Someone’s going to lose their head if those doors aren’t open for business in the next hour.”

            “We should get going. Thanks, Aria,” Shepard said turning to leave.

            “Good luck,” Aria said.

            Shepard led Samara and Mordin out of Afterlife and to the neighborhood Nef, Morinth’s last victim lived. She made a show of asking one of the very few people they saw on the street about where the family of the dead girl lived. Lucky for her, they pointed her right at Nef’s apartment so Shepard didn’t have to waste more time pretending she didn’t already know.

            They knocked on Nef’s door and her mother answered, right away she wanted to know if they had come about her daughter. Shepard and Samara spent some time talking to the woman, gathering what information they could. Mordin stood at a respectful distance, but still listened intently. He waited in the living room while Shepard and Samara looked over Nef’s bedroom and watched her video logs. Jane was silent, worn out from her latest success at seizing control, nothing more than a faint static in the back of Shepard’s mind. Still, Shepard remembered enough on her own having reviewed the memories in anticipation for Samara’s mission. She just wasn’t sure how much of it remained relevant with Afterlife in shambles. She wished she had thought to ask Aria just how much of the multileveled nightclub had been damaged in the attacks. If Morinth wasn’t in Afterlife, Shepard needed a plan; an excuse to get into her apartment.

            Shepard listened as Samara ran through her plan to send Shepard in alone and unarmed in the hopes of attracting Morinth’s attention. Samara questioned whether Shepard thought Afterlife would indeed be open as Aria insisted. Shepard told her that Aria would open the place even if there was still blood on the walls if she had to, and that it was possible that the VIP room hadn’t even been touched.

            “Of course, that doesn’t mean that Morinth will show tonight,” Shepard said. “The place might be pretty empty after the mercs.”

            “I think she will have been drawn to the destruction. She will be curious to see who lived and who died,” Samara said.

            Shepard nodded her head. “Alright. If nothing else, maybe we can get more information. Maybe find out where she lives.”

            “I would be careful what you ask. If word gets back to Morinth that someone is looking for her, she will likely flee,” Samara said.

            “Let me talk to Mordin for a minute. Maybe you can see if Nef’s mother can remember anything else,” Shepard said.

            Shepard left the bedroom and excused herself and Mordin before leading him outside. “OK, so I know that everyone thinks that I need someone to watch over me in case Jane does something and right now that’s supposed to be you, but Samara and I have to go this one alone.”

            Mordin opened his omni-tool and waved it in front of Shepard before looking at the screen. “Will see you back on the Normandy. Much to discuss. Many tests to run.”

            “That’s it?” Shepard’s eyebrows shot up.

            “Not a child, Shepard. Commander of Normandy. Am part of Normandy crew. Jane sparks scientific curiosity, concern perhaps.” Mordin shook his head resolutely. “Does not negate command structure.”

            Shepard smiled. “Thanks Mordin. Hey, don’t let the others give you any flak for this, OK? If they say anything, point them in my direction.”

            Mordin nodded and turned to walk away when Shepard called out to him.

            “Hey, Mordin. I forgot in all the commotion. You want to stop by and check on your clinic before you leave?” Shepard asked. “I know that place meant a lot to you.”

            He smiled. “Will head there now.”

            “Good,” Shepard said as she waved goodbye.

            Shepard stepped back inside the apartment and smiled as Samara put a reassuring hand on the woman’s shoulder. Samara whispered something to the woman and she nodded her head, wiping tears from her eyes. Samara left the brokenhearted woman to her mourning and rejoined Shepard.

            “Are you ready, Commander?” Samara asked.

            “Yeah, I just need to make a stop in the markets before we go,” Shepard said.

            “As you wish, Commander,” Samara said following Shepard out of the apartment.

            Shepard led Samara down to the markets and straight to Kenn’s Salvage where the young quarian was busy working. She asked Samara to give her a moment, leaving Samara a little ways away as she approached the counter.

            “Excuse me?” Shepard said.

            His head jerked up and he looked around, the sparks from his wielding dying down. “Hello there. Might I interest you in some salvaged tech? Every credit goes toward a ticket to get me off this forsaken rock.”

            “Not fond of Omega?” Shepard asked.

            “I don’t think Omega is fond of me,” Kenn said.

            “Are you on your Pilgrimage? Omega’s a rough spot for a Pilgrimage,” Shepard said browsing through his kiosk.

            “I am … or at least I was. Omega wasn’t supposed to be a final destination, but everything I had got stolen when I got here so I’ve been running this place trying to save up enough credits to get on with my Pilgrimage.” Kenn leaned against the counter. “It hasn’t been easy though, Harrot – he runs a stall down the way – he’s forcing me to keep my prices high so that customers will go to him instead of me. I don’t want any trouble, so I’ve done what he asks.”

            “Where are you trying to go?” Shepard asked.

            Kenn shrugged. “Anywhere is better than here.”

            “How much do you need?” Shepard asked.

            “I still need a thousand credits to get a ticket, at the rate of business here though, that could take quite a while. I’m a little surprised you know about the Pilgrimage, not many who aren’t quarian do,” Kenn said.

            Shepard smiled and said, “One of my best friends is a quarian. I’ve also got a quarian crew member on her Pilgrimage right now.”

            Shepard scanned her credit chit and completed her purchases, making sure to grab the FBA couplings for Ken and Gabby down in engineering. Kenn pushed away from the counter to check the screen to see what he needed to get for her.

            “Wow, you’re seriously buying all of this?” Kenn asked.

            “I am,” Shepard said.

            “I – hey listen, let me give you a discount, but just don’t tell Harrot, OK?” Kenn said.

            “Sure, I appreciate that,” Shepard said.

            “I can’t tell you how much this will help me, thank you. I can have your purchases delivered to your ship in the next hour,” Kenn said.

            “Actually, I’ve got a proposition for you, Kenn.” Shepard leaned her elbows on the counter.

            “Oh, uh, what kind of a proposition?” Kenn asked.

            Shepard couldn’t help but to smile at the hint of nervousness in his voice. “I have something I have to do on the station that requires me to leave my armor and weapons behind. I need a place to store them for a while. Going back to my ship right now would draw attention that I don’t need.”

            “So … you want me to watch your stuff for you?” Kenn asked.

            “Well, I was thinking you could deliver them to my ship along with my purchases,” Shepard said.

            Kenn shifted nervously.

            Shepard lifted off her helmet, letting her hair fall loose and exposing her full face. “And in exchange, you can have your pick of either the thousand credits you need for your ticket or a free ride to the Citadel.”

            “I – that sounds too simple. What’s the catch? Is it something you stole … or something dangerous?” Kenn asked.

            “Well, we’re talking about guns and armor so dangerous, yeah technically but it’s not stolen,” Shepard said.

            Kenn studied her for a moment and then cocked his head to the side. “Wait. Do I … do I know you?”

            Shepard smiled and extended her hand, “Probably. Commander Shepard, Council Spectre.”

            “Oh. Oh!” Kenn took her hand and gave it an enthusiastic shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Spectre – Commander … I don’t know what to call you.”

            Shepard laughed and said, “Shepard’s fine.”

            “Shepard,” Kenn said.

            “So? What’ll it be?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes, absolutely but I can’t ask you to do either of those things. It’ll be an honor to help you, really,” Kenn said.

            “I insist, Kenn.” Shepard started taking out her weapons, checking to make sure the safety was on and removing the clips.

            “Oh, uh … I guess a ride to the Citadel would be wonderful … if you’re going there anyway. I mean, Spectres have to go there all the time, right?” Kenn asked.

            “Not all the time, but often enough. It’s our next stop, we’ll be leaving Omega tonight if everything goes according to plan,” Shepard said opening her omni-tool.

            Shepard called Samara over to help her out of her armor and watched as Kenn packed it all away carefully into crates. She asked him for his extranet address and then sent him a message to show to Miranda Lawson when he arrived at the Normandy. He read the message and nodded enthusiastically, repeating Miranda’s name aloud.

            “Are you sure you can handle all of this yourself? I’ve got a salarian still on the station, I can send him up to escort you back to the Normandy,” Shepard said.

            “Oh no, I’ve got it, no problem at all, ma’am,” Kenn said.

            “Thanks.” Shepard turned to look at Samara. “How do I look?”

            Samara reached out unexpectedly and adjusted Shepard’s hair before nodding her head in approval. Shepard smiled before leading the way to the Afterlife VIP room. Samara pulled Shepard aside and ran through the plan again, reminding Shepard that she wouldn’t be alone.

            Shepard put a hand on Samara’s shoulder. “I’ve got it, Samara.”

            “Please be careful, Shepard. I do not think you truly understand what she is capable of,” Samara said.

            “I’ll be careful, I promise,” Shepard said.

            They made their way to the VIP entrance and stopped in front of the bouncer.

            “What do you want?” the hooded turian asked stepping forward.

            “Jaruut sent me, said this was the place to be. Better than anywhere else on Omega,” Shepard said trying to recall what the others had said before.

            The turian nodded his head to the door. “Go on in. Word to the wise: start a fight, we’ll hurt you. Someone attacks you, it’s OK to defend yourself.”

            “Got it,” Shepard said walking through the door.

            The hall was mostly empty, only a couple leaned against the far wall making out, their hands disappearing inside each other’s clothing. Samara stopped near a stack of crates in the shadows near the door.

            “I will wait here. Do not hesitate to come and speak with me if you feel uncertain, Shepard. We cannot afford mistakes here or Morinth will run,” Samara said.

            “I won’t let that happen, Samara. If Morinth is here, we’ll get her,” Shepard said.

            “Thank you, Shepard, for understanding my plight and allowing me to share this burden with you. I know that it is not a simple thing that I ask of you, and it is not something that I ask lightly. I cannot imagine sharing this burden with anyone else,” Samara said.

            “I’m honored that you trusted me to help you with this,” Shepard said.

            Samara smiled and bowed her head, stepping back into the shadows. Shepard went through the next door and stopped. The VIP was overflowing with people. More than she remembered ever seeing here in any of Jane’s memories. The music was louder as more bodies pressed together on the dance floor. Shepard had expected Afterlife to be quieter after the attacks on the nightclub, but instead it seemed as if people had flocked to the place.

            “Fantastic,” Shepard grumbled under her breath.

            _“You can do this,”_ he said.

            Shepard nearly jumped, startled by the sudden intrusion of the masculine voice in her head after the extended silence from Jane.

            “Uh, hello?” Shepard thought.

            _“I’m here,”_ he said. _“I’ll walk you through it if you need some help.”_

“Who are you?” Shepard thought.

            _“Commander John Shepard, at your service, ma’am,”_ John said.

            “Are you the one who’s been … leaking through?” Shepard thought.

            _“Yes ma’am. I apologize that I haven’t been able to be of more help. Jane doesn’t make things easy for us in here these days,”_ John said.

            “Where is she? Where is Jane?” Shepard thought.

            _“She’s still here. She’s just resting and I’m doing what I can to keep her that way for as long as I can. I’m awful sorry about the things she’s been doing, ma’am,”_ John said.

            “So it’s just you right now?” Shepard thought.

            _“Well, the others can still hear you of course, and I can hear them just fine, but Jane is out of commission for a while,”_ John said.

            Shepard made her way into the bar, pushing past the crowd of people. “You sound more, uh …”

            _“Sane?”_ John asked.

            “I was trying to find a nicer way of putting it, but yes,” Shepard thought.

            _“Not a one of us in here is sane anymore, ma’am. Some of us are just worse off than others,”_ John said.

            “OK, you have to know that I’m not fond of that ma’am crap, right?” Shepard thought.

            _“Sorry, Commander. Old habits and all. I don’t know how long I’ve got, so let me get you through what I can,”_ John said. _“I recognize a few of the people here. There on your twelve, that turian is harassing that asari dancer.”_

Shepard remembered them, too, from what she’d already seen of Jane’s memories. She made her way to them out on the dance floor. When she was close enough to hear their conversation she stepped up next to the asari and crossed her arms.

            “Hey asshole, I’m sorry that you’re too ugly to get anyone to sleep with you without paying for it, but as the lady said she’s not a hooker,” Shepard said. “So back the fuck off.”

            John chuckled in Shepard’s mind. _“Well that was eloquent. I see why Jack has taken a liking to you.”_

            “Mind your own business, unless you’re offering.” The turian looked her up and down. “I’ll pay you half of what I would have paid her.”

            John chuckled. _“That was stupid.”_

            Shepard laughed and shook her head. “Oh I’m going to enjoy this.”

            She stepped forward and punched the turian in his mandible before sweeping him off of his feet. He landed on his back, just barely avoiding having the spikes of his crest stab into the hard floor. Shepard grabbed his arm and flipped him to his stomach before he fully even understood the predicament he’d found himself in. She kneeled, scooping her arm beneath his chin and pulling him back, her knee jammed into his spine.

            _“You’re already incorporating his training into combat, interesting,”_ John said.

            “If it works, it works,” Shepard thought.

            “Apologize to the lady,” Shepard said.

            The asari stood above the turian, her arms crossed and a satisfied smile on her face. The turian choked and stuttered out something.

            “I didn’t quite catch that,” Shepard said.

            “I’m sorry,” the turian said.

            “Good, now get your sorry ass out of here.” Shepard released him and stepped back.

            The turian scrambled to his feet and pushed his way through the crowd, headed straight for the door. The asari smiled at Shepard.

            “That made my night, thanks,” she said.

            “Happy to help,” Shepard said.

            “Do you think she saw that with this many people around?” Shepard thought moving through the crowd again.

            _“I don’t know. She’ll see you eventually, though. Alright, see that jittery looking guy over there at your two?”_ John asked.

            “Yeah. He uh,” Shepard paused to search for what she could remember. “His partner is in trouble or something, right? Is that really the kind of thing that would get Morinth’s attention?”

            _“Does it really matter, Commander? The woman will die if you don’t help her,”_ John said.

            “Right, OK. I’m on it,” Shepard thought.

            Shepard made her way over to the man. “Hey, you’re looking a little freaked out. Everything alright? You need a doctor or something?”

            He rubbed his neck and glanced over at his friend sitting at a table with a gang leader. Shepard followed his gaze.

            “I uh, no I don’t need a doctor. But I could use some help. My friend’s in trouble and I don’t know what to do,” he said.

            “What kind of trouble is your friend in?” Shepard asked.

            Shepard listened as the man laid out the situation and what he needed from her. Shepard nodded reassuringly and told him she would take care of things. She made her way over to Moirall’s table and dropped the words ‘terminal’ and ‘eternity’. Shepard watched as the woman made an excuse and left the table before moving off into the crowd. She worked the bar for a half hour, dancing, playing aloof when people hit on her but still nothing from Morinth. Shepard kept her eyes open, scanning the bar as nonchalantly as she could.

            “I don’t think she’s here,” Shepard thought.

            _“She’s here,”_ John said.

            “How can you be sure?” Shepard thought.

            _“Because I … I know Morinth. I know her well. I’m one of the one’s she got to,”_ John said.

            “What do you mean, ‘got to’?” Shepard thought.

            John showed her a scene where he stood watching Morinth and Samara square off. Morinth trying to sway him, convince him to take her with him instead of Samara. Shepard felt the pull that John felt, the confusion, the seduction. She blinked away the image when John intervened, pulling Samara’s arm back so that Morinth could kill her mother. She swallowed back the bitter taste it left in her mouth and looked around the bar. Her eyes landed on Morinth, watching her. Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth and turned away, rebuffing a man’s attempts to get her to dance with him.

            She pushed through the crowd and ordered a drink before turning to lean against the bar, glass in hand. Shepard sipped at it casually, letting her eyes roam over the dance floor. She swung her head back around and spotted Morinth, gliding through the crowd straight for her. The crowd parted away from Morinth, Shepard wondered if it was the instinctual sensing of a predator on the prowl or if she was that well known at the nightclub. Shepard took a swallow from her glass and watched Morinth doing her best to portray mild curiosity and nothing more. Morinth came to a stop a couple of feet away from Shepard. Shepard took another swallow from her drink and watched as Morinth looked her over from head to toe.

            “I’ve been watching you,” Morinth said.

            “That right?” Shepard asked swirling the ice around in her glass.

            “Mmm. I hear the whispers. They say that you’re Commander Shepard,” Morinth said.

            Shepard’s jaw clenched involuntarily. She took a sip of her brandy and forced a smile.

            _“Just run with it, see where it goes. This thing isn’t over just because she knows who you are,”_ John said.

            “Not tonight. Tonight I’m just Dawn,” Shepard said.

            _“That’s good, I like that,”_ John said.

            “Dawn. I like that, there’s nothing more beautiful than watching an actual sunrise after a long night. I haven’t see you here before, Dawn. My name’s Morinth,” Morinth said.

            Shepard shrugged. “I don’t make it to Omega often, but I figured it was time for a little shore leave while I was here.”

            Morinth twisted at the waist, looking back over her shoulder. “I’ve got a booth over there in the shadows. It’s quieter over there, why don’t you come sit with me?”

            Shepard took a second to look over Morinth, Samara had been right; the Ardat-Yakshi had a way of pulling people in just by existing. Shepard pursed her lips and nodded, taking another sip of her brandy and pushing away from the bar. Morinth turned, the crowd clearing for her once more as she led the way back to her table.

            _“Careful Commander, don’t let her pull you in,”_ John said.

            “I didn’t see you with anyone. Did you come here alone; no one from your crew with you?” Morinth asked.

            “I spend day after day with them. It’s nice to get away for a little while,” Shepard said.

            “This doesn’t feel right,” Shepard thought.

            _“Walk away if you want to, Commander, but you know that you won’t get another chance,”_ John said.

            “So what do you do on shore leave, Dawn?” Morinth asked.

            “Depends on where I’m at,” Shepard said with a shrug pulling in bits of memories from John. “I like to check out the clubs, see if there’s anyone interesting around to talk to and if not, then I’m happy if they have good music.”

            “What do you think of Afterlife?” Morinth asked.

            Shepard looked around the club, considering her answer. She forced her eyes to keep gliding past the all too familiar turian and drell she spotted sitting at a table together a few booths down. Morinth’s back was to them, but something in her gut told her she knew they were there and watching Shepard. At least they were making an effort to not be obvious.

            “I like it; it has a dark feel to it. The music is good. Gets inside my head; I feel like I could lose myself in it. What about you?” Shepard asked.

            “They shouldn’t be here,” Shepard thought.

            _“Can’t say that I’m surprised that they are, Commander,”_ John said.

            “You took the words right out of my mouth. I find myself attracted to dark things. Dangerous things. Music has to get inside you, speak to your soul,” Morinth said.

            “Yeah. I’ve heard good things about a band called Expel Ten. I haven’t had the chance to check them out yet though,” Shepard said.

            “Why don’t we get out of here? I’ve got some of Expel Ten’s music back at my place. I’d love to have you all to myself for a while,” Morinth said.

            Shepard finished her drink and sat her empty glass back down on the table. “Why not?”

            Morinth smiled and stood and headed for the door. Shepard followed her lead, throwing a warning glance back over her shoulder at Garrus and Thane while mouthing the words ‘stand down’. She pushed forward, walking next to Morinth and smiled at the asari when she turned to look at Shepard.

            “This feel a little too easy to you?” Shepard thought.

            _“Yeah, yeah it does. Keep your eyes opened and don’t let her get in your head,”_ John said. _“She’s … she’s waking up. I’m sorry, Commander.”_

“What? No, John wait,” Shepard thought. “John? John?”

            _“John isn’t available right now, can I take a message?”_ Jane asked.

            “Damn it,” Shepard thought.

            _“Come on, Dawn. You didn’t really think he’d be able to keep me down forever, did you?”_ Jane asked. _“Oh gods, you were seriously hoping that he would.”_

“What do you think about the shootout at Afterlife earlier?” Morinth asked as they walked.

            “I heard it was some mercs trying to take down Aria,” Shepard said.

            _“She’s taking you the wrong way,”_ Jane said.

            “What? Are you sure?” Shepard thought.

            _“Absolutely. Unless she’s living somewhere else this time, her apartment is back the other way,”_ Jane said.

            “I heard you were there, right in the thick of it fighting alongside Aria,” Morinth said.

            Shepard heard gunshots and shouting back the way she came. She turned to look over her shoulder but they had already turned too many corners for Shepard to catch even a glimpse.

            “Shit. Shit. Shit. Damn it. Gods please tell me that isn’t them,” Shepard thought.

            “You could say I owed Aria a favor,” Shepard said.

            _“I think you’re in trouble, Dawn. Want me to handle this one?”_ Jane asked.

            “Fuck off, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            “Aria owed me a favor, we’re even now,” Morinth said. “She sent someone to tell me that you had a Justicar with you, Samara, and that you were looking for me.”

            Shepard stopped in her tracks. Morinth spun to face Shepard.

            “I think she expected me to run. It would make Aria quite happy if I weren’t on Omega anymore, but she’d never try to get rid of me herself.” Morinth took a step toward Shepard. “I hear whispers that you’re recruiting, Dawn. Looking for an army to fight your wars. I can be that for you, I can be everything that my mother is and more. All you have to do is kill her and I will be free to go with you. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Dawn?”

            Shepard could feel Morinth’s mind pressing against hers, a gentle whisper filled with promises of ecstasy. Shepard shook her head, trying to clear her mind and pushed back against the sensation. Morinth’s eyes widened.

            “That’s never going to happen,” Shepard said.

            Morinth lunged at Shepard, wrapping her hand around the base of Shepard’s skull. She pressed against Shepard’s consciousness again. Shepard punched Morinth in the jaw. The asari took a step back but didn’t let go of Shepard.

            “You’re strong, Dawn, but I’m stronger. You want to kill Samara for me, don’t you, Dawn? Tell me that you want to kill her,” Morinth said pushing harder, wrapping her warped, black tentacles around Shepard’s will to resist.

            _“I’m right here if you need me, Dawn. All you have to do is ask,”_ Jane said.

            “Fuck you.” Shepard said, wrapping Morinth up in a Reave.

            Morinth grit her teeth and dove forcefully into Shepard’s mind. Shepard’s mind exploded with a thousand angry voices, shoving themselves back through the deadly link Morinth established.

            _“No, no, she can’t have us. Don’t let her take us. Kill her, kill her!”_ The voices blurred together, a cacophony of insanity. _“Turn her into a banshee! She’s a banshee. A banshee, kill her now before she screams.”_

A red haze filled Shepard’s vision as the suddenly terror stricken Ardat-Yakshi started to sink to her knees pulling at Shepard, forcing her to squat down.

            “What are you?” Morinth’s lips moved but her voice was lost in the chaos.

            Shepard could feel her feeble attempts to sever the link. Morinth tried desperately to pull back, to push forward, but nothing helped. A tear slid down Morinth’s cheek, her lips trembled. Her body gave out and she became dead weight, held up only by her hand wrapped around Shepard’s head utterly unable to let go. Shepard could feel the life leaving Morinth, that spark inside of her slowly extinguishing. And it made her feel like a goddess.

            When at last Morinth was dead, the link was severed at the sudden silence was deafening. Morinth’s hand fell away from Shepard and her body fell lifeless to the floor. Blood trickled from the Ardat-Yakshi’s eyes and nose. Shepard smiled.

            Garrus was there, lifting her to her feet. Thane leaned down and checked Morinth for a pulse. Samara looked between Shepard and Morinth, unable to put right in her mind what her eyes were telling her. Samara’s lips moved, but Shepard heard no sound. Garrus spun her around to face him. His talons digging into her arms as the iris of his visor contracted and expanded, contracted and expanded.

            “Shepard!” Garrus’ voice broke through the silence sounding a mile away.

            “It’s alright, we killed her,” Shepard said soothingly.

More and more sounds began to break through growing in volume. Shepard felt something wet on her cheek and reached up to touch it, pulling her hand away she saw blood.

            “Spirits,” Garrus said crushing her against his armor.

            “We should leave before more of her men arrive,” Thane said.

            “She is truly dead?” Samara asked.

            “Indeed,” Thane said.

            “I do not understand,” Samara said.

            “Samara, we need to go. We’ve got to get Shepard out of here before anyone else shows up,” Garrus said.

            “Yes, of course,” Samara said.

            Garrus turned, a hand wrapped around Shepard’s upper arm. Shepard took two steps and the world tilted around her just before everything went black.

She awoke back in the med bay of the Normandy, a bright light shining in her eyes. Shepard put up a hand, trying to block the light.

            “How are you feeling, Commander?” Dr. Chakwas voice cut through the last of the haze.

            “The implants have already cleared the subconjunctival hemorrhaging, and her cranial pressure has returned to normal,” Miranda said.

            “I feel fine, doc, get that light out of my face would you?” Shepard said trying to sit up.

            Strong turian hands pushed her back to the bed. “You’re not moving until Dr. Chakwas clears you, Shepard. I’ll hold you here until the reapers come if I have to.”

            “Physically she’s fine, though I have half a mind to call in a psychologist to have her evaluated. What were you thinking, Commander? No back up, no armor, no weapons?” Dr. Chakwas scolded.

            “It wasn’t supposed to go down like that,” Shepard said looking around the room to see who else was present and finding Thane tucked back in a corner watching her. “It’s never happened like that before. She knew we were coming for her, Aria sold me out.”

            “Are you sure it was Aria?” Garrus asked.

            “That’s what Morinth said,” Shepard said.

            “That doesn’t make any sense, Aria is the one who told us where to find you and how to get into the VIP,” Garrus said.

            “It makes perfect sense for Aria, she settled two debts and was pretty much guaranteed to get rid of one nuisance or another,” Shepard said trying to sit up again.

            Garrus looked at Dr. Chakwas and she nodded so Garrus let Shepard go. Garrus turned and walked away.

            “Where are you going?” Shepard asked.

            “To rip Aria’s throat out,” Garrus said.

            “No, Garrus. Leave Aria alone,” Shepard said. “That’s an order.”

            “She tried to have you killed, Shepard. There’s no way I’m letting that slide.” Garrus growled.

            “I said stand down!” Shepard raised her voice and slid off the bed, moving closer to Garrus. “Why is it that the only fucking person on this ship that seems to remember that _I_ am in command is the same one who would gleefully cut my head open and dissect my brain if only he could put it back together again?”

            Garrus’ mandibles clacked tight against his jaw and he crossed his arms as Shepard began to pace in front of him. Thane shifted in his corner. Miranda took a step forward, Dr. Chakwas a step back. She held her hand out to them.

            She stopped pacing and stood in front of Garrus once more before continuing in a calmer tone. “OK, that’s not exactly fair. But my point still stands, Garrus. I told you to do something, as the Commander of this ship, and I expect you to listen. I understand that you are upset with Aria, and rightfully so. I’m not happy about this either but killing Aria is not the way to handle this.”

            “Understood, Commander. Is there anything else or may I be dismissed?” Garrus said.

            Shepard’s shoulders sagged and she shook her head. “Go.”

            Garrus turned and marched out of the med bay. Shepard watched him walk past the windows, shooting a pissed off glare at her on his way to the main battery. Thane moved to the door, his hands tucked behind his back.

            “Thane?” Shepard said.

            He paused and turned to her. “Yes, Siha?”

            “That order was meant for everyone,” Shepard said.

            Thane’s lips twitched at the corners before he bowed to her. “As you wish, Shepard.”

Thane left the med bay. Shepard ran a hand through her hair and turned to Dr. Chakwas and Miranda.

            “What happened with the Ardat-Yakshi, Commander?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

            “You know what an Ardat-Yakshi is?” Shepard asked.

            “Samara informed us when you were brought into the med bay, she was concerned after you collapsed that the Ardat-Yakshi had caused you permanent damage,” Miranda said.

            “She tried to convince me to kill Samara for her and take her on as part of the crew instead. When I resisted her … compulsion, she forced a melding with me and tried to kill me. The others killed her instead.” Shepard shrugged. “It was like they held open her link and bombarded her with crazy.”

            “You’re lucky to be alive, Commander. It looks like Jane has saved your life again,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “You need to run more scans right now, doc?” Shepard asked.

            “We took care of it while you were unconscious,” Miranda said.

            “We have everything we need, for now. You’re free to go, Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “Thank the gods,” Shepard said turning to the door.

            “Commander?” Dr. Chakwas said.

            Shepard turned back to the doctor and raised an eyebrow. Dr. Chakwas crossed the room to stand in front of Shepard and put an encouraging hand on Shepard’s arm.

            “Give Garrus some time. I know he probably doesn’t talk about it much, but when you died it destroyed him,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            Shepard winced.

            “I know that’s hard for you to hear, and I am sorry. He loves you, Commander, and I know that you love him. None of this can be easy for either of you. He only wants to protect you,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            Shepard rubbed the back of her neck. “He’s hoping that you guys will find a way to destroy Jane and the others.”

            Jane and the others remained silent, not even a whisper of static in her mind. Shepard wasn’t surprised; Jane was always quiet for a while after making a move to take Shepard. Even longer when she succeeded. Whatever that was on Omega, they were all in on it and it must have taken a lot out of them all.

            “Is that what you want?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

            Shepard shook her head. “No. I know she’s trouble but she’s been through hell, too. More hell than any of us. I still think that there’s a chance she can pull herself together again. I see her trying, sometimes at least.”

            “Have you told him this?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

            “Yeah, but he doesn’t want to hear it. All he sees in Jane now is something that is a threat to me and he wants to rip her out and be done with it,” Shepard said.

            “Commander, I respect Garrus but the matter of the fact is this is your decision to make and no one else’s. Nothing will be done to you or Jane against your will, as long as you still have the ability to make that decision for yourself. I give you my word,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “Thanks, doc,” Shepard said.

            “Of course, Commander.” Dr. Chakwas gave Shepard’s arm a squeeze before returning to her desk.

            Miranda followed Shepard out of the med bay. “What are you going to do about Aria?”

            “I’m going to go thank the Queen of Omega for her aid in taking down a serial killer and then we’re going to leave,” Shepard said.

            “That’s it?” Miranda asked.

            “That’s it,” Shepard said.

            “Please tell me you at least intend to put your armor back on and take a team with you,” Miranda asked.

            “Yeah, where is it anyway? And where’s Kenn?” Shepard asked.

            “Your armor and weapons were returned to your cabin. Lia is keeping Kenn occupied with Legion down in the hangar. He passed out, by the way, when he saw Legion,” Miranda said. “You could have taken the time to warn him that there was a friendly geth aboard.”

            “It didn’t even occur to me. Is he OK?” Shepard asked.

            She stopped in front of the elevator and pushed the button.

            “Oh yes, he’s fine,” Miranda said with a dismissive wave. “Commander, are you sure walking back into Afterlife is wise?”

            The elevator opened and they both stepped inside, Shepard hit the button for her cabin. “I know Aria. This wasn’t personal, believe it or not. Everyone around Aria are pieces on a game board to her. Only the strongest or most loyal get to stay on the board. This was a test more than it was an attempt on my life. I’m alive and Morinth isn’t, I’m the strongest so I get to stay. For now.”

            “For now?” Miranda asked.

            “That’s how she sees it. So long as I don’t use my strength against her, threaten her position on Omega I’m worth keeping on the board,” Shepard said.

            “But you have no interest in Omega, why would you?” Miranda asked.

            “Exactly,” Shepard said.

            The elevator doors slid open and Miranda followed her into her cabin. Shepard found her armor on her bed and the guns on the coffee table. She started putting her armor on.

            “Shepard, I’ve given it some thought. What you said earlier, about replacing the Illusive Man,” Miranda said.

            Shepard looked up at her as she snapped a greave into place. “Yeah?”

            “Do you really think this is feasible?” Miranda asked. “That we can kill him and I can take over?”

            “I do,” Shepard said.

            “Then I’m in. I still think it’s insane, but I’m willing to do it,” Miranda said.

            Shepard grinned. “Glad to hear it, Miranda. Just promise me you won’t call yourself the Illusive Woman.”

            Miranda scoffed. “I promise.”

            “Good, now go get ready. You can go say goodbye to Aria with me,” Shepard said.

            “I’ll meet you at the airlock.” Miranda left the cabin.

            “EDI, is Mordin still on Omega?” Shepard asked.

            “Yes, Shepard. Would you like for me to call him back to the Normandy for you?” EDI asked.

            “Yes, please,” Shepard said. “And then tell Grunt to meet us at the airlock.”

            “Right away, Shepard,” EDI said.

            Shepard got the rest of her armor on before putting the thermal clips back into all of her guns. The silence in her head was starting to make her uneasy. She laughed at the irony as she left her cabin and took the elevator back down to the CIC. Miranda and Grunt were already waiting for her. They left the airlock and headed straight for Afterlife, passing by Mordin on his way back to the ship.

            The upper level of Afterlife still showed obvious signs of damage, but the bodies and blood were gone. It didn’t seem to deter any of the patrons from getting drunk off their asses and having a good time. Shepard wove through the crowd and stopped at the foot of the stairs leading up to Aria’s office. She recognized the batarian guarding that staircase as Bray and the memories of his kindness toward Shepard in her other lives brought a smile to her lips. It did not bring one to his. He looked at her with as much indifference as he could muster and nodded his head toward the stairs. Shepard climbed the stairs with Miranda and Grunt at her heels. She looked up at Aria, sitting on her couch with a smirk on her face as soon as she rounded the corner. Shepard went up the last few steps to stand in front of the asari.

            “We’re headed out. Thanks again for your help with Morinth. I hope things stay quiet for you around here for a while,” Shepard said.

            “You impress me, Shepard. I didn’t expect you to be the one to come back alive,” Aria said.

            Miranda and Grunt shifted behind Shepard. Shepard only smiled.

            “Yet here I am. I left your girl lying in a back alley somewhere. I hope you don’t mind, I wanted out of there before more of her mindless slaves showed up. Taking innocent lives really isn’t my thing,” Shepard said.

            Aria flicked her fingers dismissively. “I’m sure she’ll find her way to the incinerators just like every other corpse left in the streets. Safe travels, Shepard.”

            “Goodbye, Aria,” Shepard said. “Give some thought to what we discussed earlier.”

            She turned and walked back down the stairs and back out of Afterlife.

            “Christ, she didn’t even try to deny it or apologize,” Miranda said.

            “Aria never apologizes,” Shepard said.

            Back on the Normandy, Shepard set the coordinates for the Citadel before heading back up to her cabin and changing out of her armor once more. She dropped down on the foot of her bed and rested her forehead on her palms. She knew that Samara would be waiting for her, waiting for an explanation of what went wrong and how it was that Shepard was able to kill Morinth. Her gut twisted in knots as she contemplated whether she should tell Samara the truth, and whether or not Samara would feel robbed of the moment or grateful. She decided that she couldn’t deal with Samara tonight. The whole Omega thing had taken much longer than anticipated having dealt with Aria’s crisis and Jane. She would go see Samara the next morning, after training. Maybe by then she would know what to say.

            Shepard felt ill at ease knowing that Garrus was upset with her as well. She didn’t know whether she should go to him or give him his space. She didn’t even know what to say to him. She wouldn’t apologize for expecting him to follow her orders, but maybe she should apologize for blowing up the way she did. Shepard ran her brush through her hair and took the elevator down to the third deck.

            The door to the main battery slid open just as she was about to knock. Garrus nearly ran into her before coming to a stop. Shepard searched his eyes, still seeing hints of cold anger in the pale blue. Grundan Krul put down a datapad and squeezed past Garrus and Shepard leaving them standing in the doorway alone.

            “Can I come in?” Shepard asked.

            Garrus turned and waved his arm toward the room. “You’re the commander, it’s your ship.”

            Shepard chewed on her lower lip and stepped inside. She sat on the cot just vacated by Grundan Krul. Garrus stepped inside enough for the door to slide closed behind him and crossed his arms before leaning against the doorframe.

            “Maybe I could have handled that better,” Shepard said.

            His mandibles flared. “Maybe? Shepard you’ve never raised your voice to me like that. You’ve never talked down to me, never made me feel less than an equal until tonight. You’ve always told me that you don’t think you could do any of this without me but now I’ve got you putting me in my place like I’m nothing more than an unruly subordinate. In front of other crew members, no less.”

            “You’ve never challenged a direct order, not like that. In front of other crew members, no less. Hell, you growled at me, Garrus!” Shepard said.

            “I – Spirits, that wasn’t directed at you, Shepard.” Garrus rubbed his hand along his crest and shook his head. “It’s just this whole damn situation. You could have died tonight, Shepard. All because Aria wanted to play some game – after you just saved her ass!”

            “I know. I’m only alive because of Jane and the others,” Shepard said.

Garrus chuffed and shook his head.

            Shepard ran a thumb across her forehead. “Aria isn’t a threat anymore. She played her game, knowing she’d win no matter the outcome. She took her measure and now she knows my mettle. She’ll leave me alone now, content with the idea of what I can do for her and I’ll let her live content with the idea of what she can do for me.”

            “What is that, exactly?” Garrus asked.

            “Before? The Blood Pack, Blue Suns, and Eclipse fighting alongside our armies in the war,” Shepard said.

            “And now?” Garrus asked.

            “If I’ve played my cards right, all that and every able-bodied person on Omega willing to fight and die to protect what they’ve built for themselves,” Shepard said.

            “It’s Omega, Shepard. No one out there cares about anything but themselves,” Garrus said.

            “What about the team you built? From people on Omega? They cared about something other than themselves.” Shepard stood up. “I’ve seen what the people of Omega are capable of when their way of life is threatened. I’ve seen what Aria is capable of when Omega is threatened. And I’ve seen how she is able to rally everyone on that station into a fight against impossible enemies to take back what is theirs. When the reapers come, all they need is to hear their Queen tell them to fight for Omega.”

            “I hope you’re right about this, Shepard,” Garrus said.

            Shepard moved to stand a couple of feet in front of him. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that, Garrus. It wasn’t my intent. I _never_ want to make you feel like that.”

            Garrus looked down at the floor between them. His mandibles fluttered softly and his mouth opened as if to speak but nothing came out. Shepard stood there for a minute, waiting for him to look at her or to say something. When it was evident he wasn’t going to do either, she turned to the door to give him his space. He reached for her, his fingertips brushing her wrist. She stopped in the doorway and looked back at him. He held his arm out for her and she stepped into his embrace. Garrus pressed his forehead to hers and breathed in her scent.

            “I love you, Shepard. I just need a little space. I think I’m going to sleep down here tonight, but I want you to know that I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone,” Garrus said.

            A tear slipped down Shepard’s cheek and she nodded. It wasn’t the first night she’d spent without Garrus, he’d often fall asleep down in the main battery exhausted from running numbers, calibrating, or pushing his contacts for information. It was the first time he made a point of telling her he wouldn’t be coming to her bed, and it was because she’d pushed him away; because she hurt him. Again.

“I love you, too, Garrus. I’ll see you in the morning,” she said.

            Shepard kissed him on his mandible and left the main battery another tear sliding down her cheek. She wiped it away with the back of her hand and took a deep breath as the door closed behind her. Grundan Krul looked up at her from a table in the mess hall as she made her way down the steps. He scooted a coffee mug across the table and filled it with coffee before sliding a tray of deli meats and fruit over next to the mug. Shepard smiled and wiped her face on her sleeve before making her way to the table and sitting down across from him.

            “I’ve never paid much attention to what you humans eat,” he said as she sat down.

            “This looks perfect, thank you,” Shepard said.

            He nodded his head at her and sat in silence while she dug in. She hadn’t even realized how hungry she was until there was food in front of her. About halfway through her plate she glanced up at him to see he was watching her from above the rim of his mug. She knew he was thinking about the way she had scrambled away from him in Afterlife and the look of terror that must have been on her face.

            “Do we need to talk about it?” Shepard asked.

            He shook his head.

            “We good?” Shepard asked.

            “We’re good,” he said.

            Shepard sighed. “I wish everyone was as easy to get along with as you.”

            His lips twitched in a half smile and he refilled her mug. “Give him time.”

            “Yeah, that seems to be the going consensus,” Shepard said.

            She finished off her food and drained her cup before taking them over to the sink. She felt bad leaving dishes for Gardner to wake up to in the morning but it was late and she simply didn’t feel like dealing with them herself. Shepard waved to Grundan Krul who nodded his head to her. She stopped outside of the elevator and glanced at life support. She was supposed to get started on meditation with Thane when she was done on Omega but everything had gotten so out of hand. Shepard chewed on her lip while she thought about it.

            “Maybe it’ll help me sleep,” Shepard thought.

            No one responded.

            “EDI, is Thane still awake?” Shepard asked.

            “Mr. Krios is awake and currently in meditation in life support,” EDI said.

            “Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said absently turning away from the elevator.

            She tapped gently on the door to life support. Thane’s voice beckoned to her to enter. Shepard hit the door’s release and stepped hesitantly inside. Thane stood from the floor and turned to her. He was dressed in loose draw string pants the color of straw and nothing else. Shepard paused a few feet in.

            “I know it’s late, but EDI said you were still awake and I wasn’t sure if you’d still want … the thing is, Garrus is still upset with me,” Shepard said tapping the side of her head, her voice shaking, “and they’re all still quiet in here and I – I don’t think I can sleep.”

            Thane crossed the floor to wrap his arms around Shepard’s shoulders and pulled her gently to his chest. Shepard took a shuddering breath as she buried her face under his chin and wrapped her arms around his ribs. They held each other in silence for a few moments until Thane pulled away and gestured to the spot of empty floor in front of the observation window.

            Shepard moved to the floor and sat down, pulling off her boots as his insistence and setting them out of the way. Thane crouched beside her, putting a hand on her stomach and one on her spine he pushed, urging her to straighten her posture. He spoke softly to her about the flow of energy in her body and how it could be blocked by her posture and poor air flow. He made adjustments – sometimes so minute Shepard couldn’t even tell the difference – in other areas, pushing her shoulders back and down, lifting her chin, adjusting her legs, turning her palms upward.

Satisfied, he sunk to the floor in front of her. Shepard smiled at the way he sort of just melted into his meditative position on the warm metal surface, making her feel graceless after the way she’d plopped down and pulled her legs in under herself. Thane instructed her to close her eyes and focus on her breathing as he ran her through a series of breathing exercises, claiming they would aid her in clearing her mind and opening the channels in her body to allow the energy to flow freely.

Shepard tried to quiet her mind, but it seemed like the harder she tried the more images wanted to creep forward to haunt her. She breathed in as an image of Morinth’s face in her final desperate moments filled her mind. She breathed out as she remembered the raw, visceral satisfaction she got from taking Morinth’s life. She breathed in as she saw the look on Grundan Krul’s face as she fled from him on the battle field while he was only trying to help her. Breathing out brought her the feel of her own angry snarl as she yelled at Garrus. Breathing in again reminded her of the voices pulling at her, trapping her in her own mind helpless to do anything but watch Jane fight her battle. Something must have shown on her face because Thane broke his measured breathing to instruct her further.

“Feel the solid floor beneath you; hear my voice and the hum of the drive core. Feel the air as you pull it into your lungs and it leaves again. These are the things that are now. They are all that matter in this moment,” Thane said. “Acknowledge, the things that press into your mind and then let them go. They are not important in this moment, Siha.”

Shepard gave a slight nod of her head as she continued to breathe. After a while the images and thoughts slowed to a trickle and eventually faded completely. Shepard sat in that place of nothingness, where no thoughts entered her mind and even the sound of their breathing faded away for a couple of minutes. Ephemeral and elusive, the moment past and try as she might she couldn’t find it again. The sounds of the drive core, the steady rhythm of Thane’s breathing, and the feel of the floor beneath her began to make themselves known again and Shepard opened her eyes.

Thane watched her, a soft smile on his face. “How do you feel, Siha?”

She thought about it for a moment before she answered. “Relaxed. Calm. But wishing it had lasted a little longer.”

“That will come in time with regular practice.” Thane stood to his feet and held a hand out to Shepard. “Do you think you can sleep now?”

Shepard let him help her up before she leaned back against the table. “I think my chances are definitely better than they were before I walked in here. Thank you.”

“It is my pleasure,” Thane said.

Shepard chewed on her lip until Thane gently tugged it free with his thumb. “What is it, Siha?”

“Nothing,” Shepard said.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. She reached out and trailed her fingertips down his chest before grabbing the drawstrings hanging loose at his waist. She gave them a little tug and Thane chuckled, heeding her unspoken request he moved closer. Shepard looped her fingers together behind his neck and smiled.

“I’m just happy to be here with you,” Shepard said.

“As am I to be here with you.” Thane settled his hands on her waist before using his thumbs to lift the hem of her shirt, rubbing his thumbs back and forth across her skin.

Shepard’s eyelids fluttered and she took a deep breath. Thane chuckled and slid his hands further up her sides, pressing his palms against the dip in her waist before lifting her up to sit on the table. He leaned into her and kissed her, the tip of his tongue brushing against her lower lip. Shepard deepened the kiss, sliding her hands forward to caress the delicate red of his throat just beneath his jaw. A small moan escaped Thane before his hand captured Shepard’s and gently pulled it away, his lips leaving hers.

“You should get some sleep, Siha,” Thane said.

Shepard groaned. “I don’t want to now. Sleep is overrated. I want more of this.”

“Then perhaps,” Thane said moving Shepard’s hand to the table, “it is time for more exercises.”

Thane pulled Shepard’s other hand away and pressed it to the table’s surface. He trailed his fingertips up her arms and brushed her hair back, exposing her neck before meeting her gaze. Shepard pursed her lips.

“I think you’re using this as an excuse to tease me,” Shepard said.

“I assure you, Siha, the suffering will not be yours alone,” Thane said.

 

 


	31. Chapter 30: Mutiny

**Chapter 30: Mutiny**

_“Dawn! Wake up!”_ Jane screamed.

Shepard’s eyes shot open, her heart racing in her chest as she jumped out of bed her hands up ready to defend herself. Her eyes frantically searched the room but found nothing, no threat of any kind lurked in the shadows. Shepard ran her shaky hands through her hair and plopped back down on the edge of the bed.

 _“Good morning!”_ Jane said.

“What the serious fuck, Jane?” Shepard said aloud.

 _“You overslept. EDI’s been trying to get you to wake up for the last ten minutes,”_ Jane said. _“I was helping.”_

“Are you alright, Shepard?” EDI asked.

“Yep, I’m just peachy,” Shepard said.

“We have arrived at the Citadel. Thane is waiting for you in the hangar, and Samara wishes to speak with you at your earliest convenience,” EDI said.

“Fantastic. Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

 _“Late night, huh? You’re exhausted, maybe you should get some more sleep,”_ Jane said.

“I can’t do that,” Shepard thought.

Shepard dressed and made her way to the hangar, stopping off in the mess hall to grab a light breakfast to eat on her way down. Jane started signing something she called the Bohemian Rhapsody, filling Shepard’s mind with her off-kilter voice. Shepard decided she wasn’t even going to ask _why_ Jane was singing the ‘classic’ song and just let it go content that she wasn’t yelling obscenities or making threats instead. She kissed Thane good morning, before walking out onto the mat and beginning her stretches.

James decided he was less interested in watching after getting beat by Thane and stayed to his little corner of the hangar while Shepard and Thane sparred. Jane switched up songs, turning to another she deemed a classic called Psycho Killer. Shepard grit her teeth and shook her head before taking deep breaths and reminding herself that what Jane was doing didn’t matter in that moment. She focused on Thane, watching for the smallest shift that might telegraph his movements to her. She focused on her breathing, keeping it steady and the feel of the air as it moved in and out of her lungs. Jane’s singing quieted to a barely there whisper in the back of her mind, like hearing a radio play in someone else’s apartment.

When Thane finally called an end to match, Shepard had found herself on the mat a total of six times, but avoided going down another seven and had even taken Thane down twice. She beamed at him when he acknowledged her greater focus and improving skill. She left the hangar feeling proud and hopeful for the days to come until Jane reminded her that Samara was waiting to speak with her. She let out a sigh and made her way up to her cabin to shower and change.

Disappointment settled into her chest to see that Garrus wasn’t there when she left the steam-filled bathroom to get dressed. She found her clothes and pulled them on in silence. The night before, spending time with Thane as he tortured her with touch had been fantastic. He’d taken her right to the edge of losing control, right to the brink of begging for him to take her and then slowly brought her back down again with gentle caresses and slow breathing. Shepard was fairly certain the drell had been doing some research. She didn’t know what was more amusing, imagining him watching human porn to learn about her body or spending hours poring over anatomical diagrams and reports. He didn’t say and she wasn’t going to ask.

She’d felt euphoric until she settled into her bed, completely alone for the first time since Jane made herself known. The continued silence from Jane and the others was shifting from unnerving to concern. The silence, something she thought she desperately missed was maddening. She nearly climbed out of bed to find Garrus and beg him to hold her so she could sleep, or to convince Thane to join her instead with the promise that sleep was all she intended. It kept her awake until the early hours of the morning, just as panic started to set in she finally fell asleep.

 _“What are you going to tell her?”_ Jane asked, interrupting Shepard’s thoughts.

Shepard paused with her shirt half over her head. She took a deep breath and pulled the fabric down, settling it into place around her torso.

“I don’t have a clue,” Shepard thought.

 _“Why not tell her the truth?”_ Jane asked.

“I don’t think I can handle trying to convince another crew member that I’m not crazy and the voices inside my head are real. Not right now,” Shepard thought.

 _“You could always just show her,”_ Jane said.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Shepard thought.

 _“Why not?”_ Jane asked.

Shepard sighed and padded across the floor with bare feet to retrieve her hairbrush. “Because … I can’t be certain you wouldn’t decide to hurt her.”

 _“Why would I hurt Samara?”_ Jane asked.

“I don’t know why you do half the shit you do, Jane. You’ve made threats towards the crew before, and whether you regret it or not, you shot Garrus,” Shepard thought.

 _“Garrus was an accident, and as for the threats, I don’t mean them. Not really. I just get confused sometimes and say things I don’t really mean,”_ Jane said. _“You don’t understand what it’s like in here.”_

“Oh but I do! Thanks to you, I’ve been in there, too. Remember?” Shepard thought as she sat down to put on clean socks.

 _“Of course I remember, but that’s nothing compared to how long I’ve been in here. The years and years that I’ve spent listening to them, doing everything that I could to hang on to my sanity so that I could find a way to break through. You don’t understand,”_ Jane said.

Shepard slipped on her boots. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jane.”

 _“How about if Thane is there? That way if he thinks I’m hurting Samara, he can just knock us out,”_ Jane said.

“Why do you want to do this so bad?” Shepard asked, the sound of her voice breaking the stillness of the room.

 _“I just want someone to understand,”_ Jane said. _“Who better than a nearly thousand year old asari who can see inside here. See me. Me. It doesn’t matter how many times I slip up and take over, they never see me. All the see is you, all they care about is you. Keeping you safe. I just want someone to see me. Please.”_

“What makes you think she’d even be willing to meld with us? Especially after I tell her that’s how her daughter died,” Shepard thought as she tied her boots.

 _“You could at least try,”_ Jane said.

Shepard left her cabin and stepped into the elevator. “I’ll think about it. Let’s see how things go.”

She took the elevator down to the third deck and hesitated outside of the starboard observation. Shepard wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs before knocking. When she heard Samara tell her to come in, she hit the door release and took a deep breath. Samara was sitting in the middle of the floor, gazing out the window at the Citadel docks.

“Four hundred years I hunted my daughter. She left countless bodies in her wake, and now she is dead but I do not understand how,” Samara said.

Shepard stepped inside just far enough for the door to close behind her.

“I expected her death to be at my hands. I expected to feel the relief of redemption in the moment of her death. I find myself wafting between confusion and gratitude toward you, Shepard,” Samara said.

 _“Gratitude is good; it’ll make her more willing. Just ask her,”_ Jane said.

Shepard took another steadying breath, relieved herself that at the least Samara did not seem upset because she was denied killing Morinth herself. Samara turned to look over her shoulder at Shepard.

“She had you in her grip. I saw it with my own eyes. I thought surely you were going to die. I felt the pain of my failure to save another innocent life from Morinth’s twisted desires, but instead she fell.” Samara stood and turned to face Shepard. “Please, Shepard, explain this to me. I have spent the night searching for answers and I have none.”

Shepard searched Samara’s face and the raw emotion she saw there, the pleading in her eyes told Shepard that she couldn’t lie to Samara no matter how damaging the truth might be. Shepard chewed on her lip. Samara took a few steps closer to Shepard, her brow furrowing.

“I do not understand. Would you deny me this explanation?” Samara asked.

“No,” Shepard said softly. “I’m just not sure how to explain it, and I’m not sure you’ll believe me either way.”

 _“You can make her believe, though. All you have to do is show her. Let her join with you and she’ll see it all for herself,”_ Jane said.

“Alright, Jane. Alright. I’ll ask her,” Shepard thought.

Samara dropped her gaze to the floor. “I see. If it is the truth that you speak, then it is the truth that will be heard. Sit with me, Shepard. I am patient; I will wait for you to find the words.”

Shepard nodded her head and took a seat on the couch. Samara settled in beside her and averted her gaze to the window, giving Shepard the space she needed to wrestle with her thoughts.

Shepard watched the skycars zoom by in the distance and thought about how unreal the normalcy of it all seemed. “Do you remember when I asked you about reincarnation?”

Samara glanced at Shepard. “I do.”

“I’ve been trying to find answers of my own for something that’s been going on inside of me since before the old Normandy was attacked. Since before Sovereign attacked the Citadel.” Shepard picked at the dry skin around her thumbnail. “I haven’t found them but some of the others are trying to help me figure it out.”

Samara turned on the couch, her eyes calmly roaming over Shepard’s face. Shepard avoided her gaze and instead focused on her hands, the observation window, the shelves in the room, and just about anything that she could other than the asari sitting next to her. Shepard brushed past the more awkward details of how she first came to learn about Jane, only touching on what Liara had found and what Dr. Tulina helped her to uncover further. She didn’t speak about what it felt like, or her fears. She didn’t speak about the way it had changed every aspect of her life echoing back through the years even before Jane was there. She didn’t talk about the way it made her question her own existence or the terrible things that had occurred as a result of her changing things. She didn’t talk about the ever present dread that she was going to die in this war and wake up again, a voice locked inside the head of another Shepard trapped with a sea of other voices that had long since cracked.

Instead she presented the case as fact, relying on the support that Dr. Chakwas and the others could provide her story if it was needed. She tried to focus on what they did know of her situation, that Jane was somehow able to remain conscious through Shepard’s reconstruction but it had damaged her psyche, ignoring the uncomfortable way Jane bristled at the subject. She talked about Jane’s recent ploys for control and how she had succeeded a few times already with mixed results, ignoring Jane’s insistence that it wasn’t her fault or that she was only trying to help. She talked about the shift in her brainwave patterns that EDI had detected when Jane was pushing for control, and the methods that they had found so far to help combat Jane.

At some point in her rambling, Shepard realized she was stalling. She glanced at Samara to see the asari watching her with those ancient wise eyes, still and unflinching. Shepard chewed on her lip.

“I knew who Morinth was before I even found you on Illium. I knew where she’d be, but I didn’t know how to tell you. So I waited for you to ask for my help and thought that I could just follow your plan because it’s always worked before.” Shepard cleared her throat. “Things were different this time, so much has changed.”

“That girl and the others like her would still be alive,” Samara said quietly.

“Maybe. I don’t know that we could have gotten to her any sooner. I’m sorry,” Shepard said.

Samara turned trained her eyes on her hands, resting in her lap. “I see.”

“So you don’t think I’m crazy?” Shepard squirmed on the couch.

Samara stood and crossed to the window, her hands clasped in front of her as she looked out over the Citadel. “Asari have long lives, Shepard, and mine is nearing the end. I have lived nearly a thousand years and there is only one thing that I know with certainty.”

“What’s that?” Shepard asked.

Samara turned her head to look at Shepard over her shoulder. “As much as we like to believe we understand how the universe works, it will always continue to hold secrets beyond our understanding.”

Shepard smirked and nodded her head as Samara returned to the couch, sitting to where she could face Shepard squarely.

“I do not see how this explains her death,” Samara said.

Shepard glanced at Samara sitting passively and unreadable. “When Morinth attempted to force a meld, Jane and the others attacked her through that link. Overloaded her system and burned her out somehow. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

 _“No, I think that about sums it up,”_ Jane said.

“I see,” said Samara.

Shepard cleared her throat and squirmed in her seat. “Jane has, ah, she’s asking to talk to you. She wants – gods this is awkward – she wants you to meld with me so that you can see her in person. I don’t think it’s a very good idea; it could be dangerous for you even though she swears she wouldn’t hurt you.” Shepard raked a thumbnail across her forehead. “And of course that’s a level of intimacy you’re probably not comfortable with, even without the intent of … uh, so I get it if you don’t want to but I told her I’d tell you she asked.”

“Can you not tell me what she wishes to say?” Samara asked.

“Yeah, no – totally it’s just that you’re the only one around who _has_ the ability to actually see her face, hear the words from her own mouth. She just wants to be seen,” Shepard said.

Samara stared out the window in silence for so long that Shepard started to think she had made the asari uncomfortable. “Hey, listen, Samara don’t worry about it, alright? I completely understand. I wouldn’t want to do it if I were in your shoes, either.”

 _“Way to sell it, Dawn. Thanks,”_ Jane said.

“I’m not going to try to force her to do something she doesn’t want to do,” Shepard thought.

“I will join with you, Shepard,” Samara said. “I owe them a debt I cannot otherwise repay.”

Shepard’s eyebrows shot up. “Samara, I just told you that they’re all incredibly unstable and that they killed Morinth through the melding … Jane says that she doesn’t want to hurt you but I don’t _know_ that she won’t try to harm you … even if she doesn’t the others might. Some of them may not even understand that what you’re doing is any different from what Morinth was doing.”

 _“Damn it, don’t do this! Don’t you dare talk her out of this! I need this, Dawn. I need it,”_ Jane said, her final words carrying with them a sense of desperation Shepard felt to her core.

“This is a risk I am willing to take, Shepard. Please, allow me the opportunity to thank them for doing what I have tried and failed to do for four-hundred years,” Samara said.

Shepard ran her hands through her hair. “I’ll only agree to it if Thane is present. If something goes wrong, he can stop me from losing control.”

 _“Thank you,”_ Jane said.

“Don’t make me regret this, Jane,” Shepard thought.

“Very well,” Samara said.

“EDI, will you ask Thane to please come to starboard observation.” Shepard shook her head in disbelief, this seemed crazy to her.

 _“I won’t. I’ll be good, I promise. I won’t hurt Samara and I won’t let any of the others hurt her either,”_ Jane said.

“Mr. Krios is on his way,” EDI said.

“Thanks, EDI,” Shepard said.

“You are welcome, Shepard. Would you like for me to alert Dr. Chakwas so that she can be present in the event of injury to Justicar Samara?” EDI asked.

Shepard cringed and glanced at Samara. “No, I think she’d storm in here and insist it doesn’t happen at all. If we need her though, call her in.”

“Very well, Shepard. I will continue to monitor you and will alert Mr. Krios if scans reveal instability,” EDI said. “However, without a comparison of the brain activity of either a human or an asari during a normal melding, I may not be able to adequately detect any other abnormalities.”

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and nodded her head in acknowledgement. The door opened and Thane stepped inside a couple of feet before coming to a stop. His hands tucked behind his back and his eyes locked on Shepard.

Shepard rubbed the back of her thumbnail across her forehead as she moved to him. “Samara is going to meld with me so that she can talk to Jane directly.”

“What do you need from me, Siha?” Thane asked putting a steadying hand on Shepard’s elbow.

“I need you to be here in case something goes wrong. If it looks like Samara is being harmed at all …” Shepard looked let her words trail off and looked at him with pleading eyes, begging him to understand.

 _“Nothing is going to go wrong,”_ Jane said.

“I will do as I must, Siha,” Thane said.

Shepard settled down to the floor to sit opposite of Samara. Thane stood behind Shepard, ready to wrap his arms around her throat and deprive her of oxygen until she passed out if required.

“I have never joined minds with a human before.” Samara rubbed her palms over her knees.

“Well, you’re about to join with about a thousand of them, most of which are fifty shades of crazy. Are you sure you want to do this?” Shepard asked. “It’s a big risk.”

 _“Dawn, relax. Just trust me, please,”_ Jane said.

“I am sure.” Samara rubbed her hands across her legs again before looking up at Shepard with blackened eyes.

 _“See you on the other side,”_ Jane said as Samara took hold.

There was no coaxing; no verbal cue like with Liara but the abrupt presence in Shepard’s mind much the way Dr. Tulina had delved in when Shepard awoke frantic with the intense buzzing in her head. She willed herself to relax and opened herself to Samara. She found herself standing next to her surrounded by a sea of darkness. Whispers of madness sounding as loud as screams pressed in around them. Voices wailed, bemoaning the loss of those taken in the war. Others angry and filled with ridicule lashed out; blaming Shepard for making them feel pain again. Those confused by their sudden presence demanded to know who they were and how she had gotten inside.

Shepard felt Samara’s resolve waver as the onslaught of voices pressed against her. The ancient asari steeled herself at Shepard’s side, the connection strengthening. The intensity of the voices died down as the darkness pulled itself back, like tendrils of a fog revealing a mass of people surrounding them. Most of them seemed to shift in and out of existence before Shepard’s eyes as they wandered aimlessly. Others had their faces turned to something no one else could see, relieving their own memories oblivious to anyone around them. Some had eyes were filled with horror; others anger, love, agony, or sorrow. Those closest to Shepard seemed the most solid, the most real, and they watched Shepard and Samara with interest moving in closer.

“Samara?” A blond woman, angry red scars crisscrossing her face and arms pushed forward.

“Samara is here with us? Is she dead, too?” A brunette with a square jaw touched Samara’s hand.

“She’s not dead, Brooke. She’s just come to visit me!” Another Shepard chirped. “We’re going to have tea together!”

“She’s not hear to have tea with you, idiot,” a masculine voice spoke out from somewhere in the crowd.

Shepard wasn’t sure how she could tell, but she was certain that he was the one that threatened to take a turn controlling her the first time Jane managed to take over. A shudder ran down her spine. Her eyes scanned the area but she couldn’t pick him out.

“Yes she has! She’s come to have tea and tell me all about how wonderful things are with the reapers gone now,” she said.

“I have come to say thank you,” Samara said turning to take in the crowd. “I am sorry; I have not yet seen the reapers. I do not know how things will be after the war.”

Hands reached out to touch Samara and Shepard, tugging at their clothing, their fingers, and Shepard’s hair. Panic started to well up inside of Shepard and Samara turned to look at her in concern.

“They frighten you,” Samara said.

Shepard nodded her head reluctantly.

“They can’t hurt you,” a masculine voice, identical to the first but somehow still unique spoke from behind Shepard.

Shepard spun to face him and she knew at once that this was John. Shepard grinned and opened her mouth to say hello but John grabbed her and crushed her to his chest, slapping her back like they were longtime friends – or family; she supposed in some odd way they were.

“Oh.” Shepard chuckled and returned the affectionate pat before pulling away.

John held her at arm’s length and looked her over. “Sorry, Commander.”

“That’s alright, John. It’s nice to put a face to a name,” Shepard said.

Shepard took in his rugged features. The thin scar cutting through his close cropped dark hair, his five o’ clock shadow, and his piercing blue eyes. He grinned at her again as she turned to Samara.

“Shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be here. It’s going to make her angry. Going to make them all angry.” Another female Shepard crept up behind John, shaking her head as her hands fluttered helplessly in front of her, her eyes making sharp, jerky movements.

John didn’t pay her any mind so neither did Shepard.

“Samara, this is John. He’s been trying to help me with Jane a little,” Shepard said.

“She’s going to get angry and I’ll forget again. I don’t want to forget. Shouldn’t be here.” The Shepard sounded more agitated, more insistent.

Shepard studied the face until a name crept into her mind. “Sarah?”

“Don’t call me that!” Sarah yelled, her face contorting in rage before settling back down into paranoid confusion. “Sarah’s dead. She died. She’s dead, not real. Not here. This is just a dream.”

 “It’s good to see you again, Samara.” John held out his hand to Samara. “Sorry that’s probably confusing for you. It’s hard to remember in here sometimes that everyone out there doesn’t know me the way I know them.”

Shepard felt the flicker of remorse roll off of John and she wondered if Samara had felt it too. If she had, she didn’t acknowledge it in any way. Shepard watched Sarah out of the corner of her eye, afraid that John might be wrong and she might decide to attack. A moment later another woman – Ramona, Shepard realized – came and wrapped an arm around Sarah, leading her away with soft murmurs.

Samara shook his hand and smiled. “It is nice to meet you. Thank you, for your part in stopping Morinth.”

“Happy I could help, ma’am. I just wish there was more that I could do for Dawn,” John said.

“Dawn?” Samara asked her brow knitting in confusion.

Shepard raised her hand. “It’s my first name.”

Samara smiled. “I see.”

A sudden hush fell over the mass of Shepards.

“Jane’s coming,” John said.

He pointed as the group began to part, drifting away from one another to clear a path for a redheaded woman with intense green eyes. Shepard had never seen her face before, but the second she laid eyes on it she knew it unmistakably. Jane smirked as Shepard met her gaze. She pushed through the crowd and came to a stop in front of Shepard. Shepard bit the inside of her cheek as she warred with the desire to punch the other woman in her freckle smattered face and hug her at the same time.

Jane held a hand out to Shepard. “Dawn.”

“Jane.” Shepard slowly shook the offered hand.

And just like that, Jane dismissed Shepard completely. Her eyes stopped on John long enough to cast him a withering glare before she turned to Samara with a warm if slightly manic smile that made Shepard’s skin crawl. John shifted beside Shepard, edging himself forward until he was all but standing in front of her.

“Samara, thank you so much for agreeing to this,” Jane said, sticking her hand out to Samara.

Samara shook her hand and bowed her head. “I am told that all of you are responsible for ending Morinth. I wished to express my gratitude.”

Jane slung an arm around Samara’s shoulder, and Shepard tensed. Samara glanced at Shepard and offered her one of her soothing beatific smiles.

“Walk with me, Samara. There’s so much I want to tell you,” Jane said.

Samara and Jane started walking, the sea of people parting to let them pass. Shepard started to follow but John put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. She turned to look at him with alarm.

“This is our best chance to talk,” John said.

“I can’t leave Jane alone with Samara!” Shepard protested.

“If ever there was anyone who can handle Jane, it’s that asari right there, Commander,” John said.

“But … what if I lose her in here or something? What if – dear gods, what if she loses me?!” Shepard asked.

“I can’t swear to it, but I’m pretty sure that can’t happen. And if it does, well, I’ll make sure you get back out myself, ma’am,” John said.

Shepard looked back, her eyes searching for Samara as more protestations formed on her lips but the asari had already vanished in the sea of people pressing back in around Shepard. The others reached for her and Shepard latched on to John’s arm. His chuckle rumbled through her side.

“They can’t hurt you, not really,” he said again.

“That’s not what I’m afraid of,” Shepard whispered.

John patted her hand still clinging to his bicep with a calloused hand. “I know.”

A terrifying thought raced through Shepard’s mind, enough to rouse the interest of everyone surrounding her. “Who was the last one? Before me?”

The crowd shifted again and a woman stepped forward, dark skin shifting seamlessly into dark peach fuzz hair not at all unlike Jack’s haircut. Her eyes a deep olive green locked onto Shepards.

“I was,” she said.

“Ruby.” Shepard tried not to question how it was she was able to know their names or the uneasy feeling it gave her.

“That’s right,” Ruby said. “Me. Ruby. It’s my life you stole.”

Shepard took a step back reflexively as the woman’s anger flared. John squeezed her hand, steadying her.

“I didn’t steal your life. This is my life. I didn’t ask for any of this anymore than any of you did,” Shepard said.

“My life. My ship. My crew. My lover. It’s all mine!” Biotic energy flared around Ruby.

John stepped in front of Shepard, shielding her from the mad woman’s ire. “Back off, Ruby. You know that none of this is her fault.”

“Somebody’s got to take the blame. Might as well be her,” Ruby said.

John raised his arm, and Shepard didn’t see the pistol in his hand until it was too late. The sound of gunfire rapport echoed around them, drowning out the sound of Shepard’s sudden yelp. Ruby fell as the first red trickle started to spill from the hole in the middle of her forehead.

Shepard ripped her arm away and turned on John, her eyes wide. “What the hell did you do?!”

Chaos broke out once more as the crowd scattered, pulling away from Shepard and John. Some or the women wailed in terror, some giggled like children. The later disturbed her far more than the former.

John put the gun away, and shrugged. “She’s fine.”

Shepard glanced back at Ruby and watched with incredulity as the woman pulled herself back to her feet. All traces of blood and bullet wound vanished from her smooth skin. She glared at John before casting a sneer in Shepard’s direction and disappearing into the crowd.

“Come on, Commander. We won’t have a lot of time,” John said waving a hand out at the darkness.

Shepard watched him warily, beginning to question just how unstable John himself was. “Where are we going?”

“Away from Jane’s flock,” John said heading through the crowd.

Shepard looked around her and chewed her lip before following after him. Part of the crowd followed after them – followed after John, she realized but the majority stayed behind. Shepard glanced behind her nervously, picking up her pace until she walked beside John.

“What do you mean Jane’s flock?” Shepard asked.

He glanced at her. “Most of them cling to Jane like she’s our salvation. Some just don’t know what else to do. Others cling to her because they want the power that she has. Because they miss the death and destruction. They feed her their crazy and get her riled up. Most of the time when she’s abusing you, it’s because they’re whispering in her ear.”

“What do you mean?” Shepard asked.

“Jane by herself isn’t so bad. But after Cerberus, she lost her hold. Broke down and they moved in on her.” John stopped and turned to Shepard. “Not all of us made it through the war in one piece, not all of us woke up again the same person we were when we died. Some of us are … well, more than broken. More than just a little crazy.”

Shepard rubbed her arms and looked back at the twenty or so following them and nodded her head in their direction. “What about them?”

“When I started standing up to Jane – to the others – a few of them started following me.” John looked around at the nothingness. “It’s not normally like this.” He held his hand up to look at the hairs on the back of his knuckles. “This place, this is only Samara’s influence. We don’t get to see each other, just the incessant noise. I’m not even really sure if this is what I really looked like. You can see me, right?”

The sudden shift in topic left Shepard confused. She watched John, scrutinizing him as confusion flickered across his eyes. “Yeah, I can see you. I can see all of you right now.”

“I don’t – where’s Jack?” John asked.

Shepard’s eyebrows twitched. “Jack’s probably in her hidey hole under engineering. She’s safe.”

“Safe. Yeah, good.” John cleared his throat and looked at his hand again. “Sorry, Commander. I forgot what I was saying.”

“That’s alright. Take your time,” Shepard said.

John shook his head and started walking again. “We don’t have time. Normally, it’s just the voices and the feeling of being surrounded. Constantly surrounded by people you can’t see or feel. They talk, talk, talk. All of the time. It never stops. They talk about the reapers, dying, the people they loved. They talk about you and what you’re doing. Some of them they get real obsessed. They got so used to the pattern never changing and then you went and broke the mold and they don’t know how to handle it.”

“So, what – they’re encouraging Jane to take over?” Shepard asked trying to keep up with his long stride.

“In a nutshell. Jane has sheltered us, kept us together for so long. She was our rock. Our strength that kept us hanging on to what little sanity we had left.” John abruptly stopped again and looked back at the group keeping their distance but still following. “Her determination and sheer will to find a way to fix things gave us all hope. But now she’s confused. She doesn’t know what she’s fighting for anymore – or who she’s fighting against.”

“She’s fighting against me.” Shepard scoffed.

“Yeah, but she thinks in her own twisted way that she’s fighting _for_ you. At least I think that’s what she thinks.” John turned his piercing blue eyes on Shepard. “Did you know that when you first started feeling her she was so excited? She was so proud of you. You. Commander Dawn Shepard. You were going to be the one to break the cycle. You were going to be the one to finally give us rest.”

“I don’t understand why she stopped believing that? She told me that I needed to find a way to change things, and damn it if things aren’t changing. They may not be perfect, but I’m doing the best I can. I don’t know what else to do,” Shepard said.

John grabbed Shepard, pulling her into another bone crushing hug.

“Oh! OK. You’re hugging me again.” Shepard said patting his back before pulling herself free.

He grabbed her upper arms and looked at her, the intensity in his eyes setting her teeth on edge. “No, no. You don’t understand, Commander. You’re our only hope. You have to keep fighting her. You have to keep changing things, this has to end. No matter the cost.”

“John … please let go of me.” Shepard fought to remain calm.

John released Shepard and paced in front of her instead, rubbing his hands across his fuzzy scalp. “Sorry, Commander. Sorry. I just – I need you to understand how important you are. How vital you are. And I can help you. You have to be protected from her flock. I have to keep you safe.”

“OK … how are you going to do that?” Shepard asked.

“Mutiny, ma’am.” John came to an abrupt halt in front of Shepard.

“Mutiny?” Shepard raised her eyebrows.

“Yes ma’am. I mean Commander. If I can win over enough of the other Shepards, I can take Jane down.” John’s tone became excited as the feverishness to his eyes ramped up.

“What do you mean? Kill her? Can she be killed?” Shepard asked, remembering the bullet he’d put in Ruby’s head, reminding herself that it wasn’t real. It couldn’t have been real.

“No, no she can’t be killed but I can replace her. I think. I’m almost certain. She’s not fit to lead anymore. It’s not her fault, but that doesn’t change the fact.” John started to pace again. “I don’t know how to explain it but Jane is in a different place than the rest of us. It’s like … she’s around us and not with us. I think she acts like … like a filter, keeping you from hearing the rest of us.”

“The Veil.” Shepard braced her elbow in her palm and rubbed her fingers across her lower lip as she remembered the way Liara had first described what she saw in Shepard’s mind.

“Yes! Yes! The Veil. Jane _is_ The Veil. _I_ can be The Veil.” John ran his hands over his face. “I just need to figure out _how_.”

Shepard glanced at the group as their excited voices made their way to her ears. They huddled together, their heads bowed down whispering about the veil and killing Jane. She turned her attention back to the agitated man standing in front of her.

“How have you done it before? Isn’t that what you were doing when you were helping me with Morinth?” Shepard asked.

John shook his head. “No, Jane was still there. I just … stepped through her. It’s easiest when she’s recovering or distracted.”

Samara and Jane appeared next to Shepard, materializing out of nothingness. Shepard jumped and John growled, taking a few steps back from Jane.

“I hope John hasn’t been filling your head with lies, Dawn. Don’t let him confuse you. He doesn’t want what’s best for you, he’s only thinking of himself,” Jane said.

“Go to hell, Jane,” John said with a snarl.

“Shepard, I must end the joining. I can feel myself weakening,” Samara said.

Shepard kept her eyes on John even as she turned her head in Samara’s direction and nodded. “Alright.”

Shepard felt herself slipping gently away from the place of nothingness, the last thing she saw was John throwing himself at a smiling Jane. Back firmly in her body, aware of her breathing once more, Shepard opened her eyes. Samara stared at her curiously but spoke before Shepard could open her mouth.

“I must rest now, Shepard,” Samara said.

Shepard turned to look up at Thane standing behind her. He held a hand out to her. Shepard slid her hand into his and let him pull her to her feet. She looked down at Samara and hesitated when she saw the watery look to her eyes.

“Please, Commander. We will talk more later.” Samara pulled her biotic energy up into a ball between her hands, her eyes taking on that glowing silver sheen as she entered her meditation.

Jane’s strained voice broke through Shepard’s reluctance to leave. _“Thank you, Dawn.”_

Shepard and Thane left Samara to her meditations, stepping out of the starboard observation. Thane pulled Shepard up short with a hand around her waist.

“Are you alright, Siha?” Thane asked.

Shepard forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Really. I mean that wasn’t the most pleasant experience and I don’t know what Jane said to her but I’ve got other things to focus on right now. Anderson’s probably wondering why the hell we’ve been docked for so long and I haven’t been to see him yet. I should get going.”

 _“I only told her my story, and showed her hers,”_ Jane said.

“Rila and Falere,” Shepard thought.

 _“She had a right to know, didn’t she? Isn’t that what we do now? Save our friends from future pain?”_ Jane asked.

“Indeed. I will be searching out my contacts. I presume Garrus will be doing the same. The Council still insists that you have guards, however,” Thane said.

“She’s going to try to save Rila, isn’t she? Move them to another monastery or something,” Shepard thought.

“Mmm. Grunt and Vega. No one will come near me with those two,” Shepard said.

 _“You’d have to ask her, I’m just the messenger,”_ Jane said.

“They needn’t be near you to kill you, Siha,” Thane said.

Shepard ran a thumb across his cheek. “I know, but I can’t walk around in a bulletproof bubble so it’ll have to do.”

“There’s an idea.” Garrus rounded the corner and stopped a couple of feet from Shepard.

She felt Thane’s hand slip away from her waist but let hers linger on his cheek a moment longer.

She chuckled and flashed a smile at Garrus. “No, Vakarian. You are not designing a bulletproof bubble to stick me in. Get the thought out of your head.”

His mandibles fluttered lightly as he returned her smile. Garrus leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers before pressing his mouth to the same spot.

“I’m sure I could make millions of creds off the idea. It’d make for a nice retirement,” Garrus said.

Thane chuckled. “And still she would not use one.”

Shepard winked at him. “Of course not. If bullets can’t get in, they can’t get out.”

“Hmmm. Yeah, that would be one hell of a design flaw.” Garrus turned his attention to Thane. “I could use your help tracking down someone on the Citadel if you’ve got the time.”

Thane bowed lightly. “I’m happy to be of service.”

Shepard watched as the two of them walked away, Garrus talking quietly gesturing widely with his hands while Thane nodded his head every so often. Shepard made her way to the AI core, having a feeling she’d find Kenn in there with Lia and Legion. She stepped through the door and drew up short.

Kenn and Lia were standing in the middle of the AI core, Legion stood at the back and EDI’s blue hologram hovered over her access point. Lia had her mask off, looking up into Kenn’s face as he caressed her cheek. They pulled away from one another when the door opened, Lia’s cheeks turning a bright red. Kenn stepped in front of her, instinctively wanting to protect the female quarian while she was in a vulnerable state. Lia patted his shoulder and he glanced behind him before nodding and stepping aside.

 _“That’s kind of adorable,”_ Jane said.

“Should I uh … should I come back later?” Shepard asked.

Lia grinned and slid her mask back into place. “Of course not, Shepard. I hope you’re not angry. I couldn’t resist showing him; I know that you asked me to keep it a secret for now. He’s the first quarian I’ve spent any time around since … well, since this,” Lia said pointing at her mask, “and I know he’s leaving today.”

Kenn shifted from foot to foot nervously. “Uh, Commander, hello.”

“Hi Kenn.” Shepard chuckled and patted him on his shoulder. “Relax, kid. You guys aren’t in trouble. I’ve only asked Lia to keep it to herself for her safety, and because I want to make sure it’s revealed to the Migrant Fleet as diplomatically as possible. Which is why you can’t tell anyone about this.”

“Oh, of course. I won’t, I promise. I doubt anyone would believe me anyway.” Kenn shifted to, settling his glowing gaze on Shepard’s face. “You plan to bring this to the Migrant Fleet?”

“This could help save your people and repair relationships with the geth. I just need to make sure it’s presented to the right people at the right time because I won’t allow this to become another reason to fight the geth, to subjugate the geth.” Shepard looked at Legion. “Have you talked to him much? Asked him about the war, about Rannoch?”

 _“Do you really think that this will be enough to change their minds over a centuries old ingrained prejudiced? We couldn’t even always change their minds when faced with certain destruction,”_ Jane said.

“I think it’s a damn good start,” Shepard thought.

Kenn’s head twitched briefly toward Legion, uncomfortable with the reminder of the geth’s presence. “Lia has told me some of it.”

“Legion won’t hurt you, Kenn,” Lia said. “He’s our friend.”

“She’s right. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you unless you were doing something to hurt him, the ship, or its crew. You really have nothing to worry about.” Shepard put her arm around Lia and pulled the quarian in against her side. “And he’s definitely our friend.”

 _“Our friend,”_ Jane echoed. _“How will you save him?”_

Shepard swallowed against the lump of sadness balled up in her throat and thought, “I don’t know.”

Lia bumped her hip against Shepard’s and slid her arm around Shepard’s waist. “You humans are so touchy feely.”

Shepard smiled at the humor and warmth in Lia’s voice. “Yeah, but you love me for it. You’re lucky you put your mask back on or I’d be _overcome_ with the urge to give you touchy feely kisses all over your face.”

Kenn made a strangled gasping noise and Lia nearly doubled over in laughter. “Shepard, to a normal quarian that would amount to a death threat.”

“But you’re no normal quarian.” Shepard winked at Kenn. “He’s just jealous that I can’t give him touchy feely kisses all over his face.”

 _“You know you’re making a mistake, don’t you? Getting attached to her, keeping her on the Normandy. You could be endangering her life, and for what?”_ Jane asked.

“The reapers are coming, Jane. Everyone’s life is in danger. She’s happy here. She’s learning to fight. This might actually be the thing that saves her life when the reapers hit. We don't know what happened to her in your times,” Shepard thought.

Legion’s head swiveled toward Kenn, drawing Shepard’s attention. His optics grew brighter and his iris contracted. “Creator-Kenn, your heart rate is unstable. Do you require medical assistance?”

“I believe Kenn is experiencing what organics refer to as embarrassment. It is a natural, biochemical response to Shepard’s teasing,” EDI said.

Shepard squeezed past Lia to stand next to Legion. His optics glowed brightly, the iris expanding and contracting as he became more animate in Shepard’s presence, relaxing into a stance mimicking hers. Shepard ran her fingers over a cluster of small holes in Legion’s shoulder.

He fluttered the plating around his optics. “Shepard-Commander.”

Shepard smiled. “Hey, Legion. Looks like we need to have Jacob patch you up again soon.”

Legion looked down at the holes, or perhaps Shepard’s hand making contact with his platform. “This platform is ninety-nine point three percent intact and remains fully functioning. We do not yet require repairs.”

Shepard rested her hand on his shoulder. “Alright, Legion. Let’s just make sure we keep you that way. OK?”

“Yes, Shepard-Commander.” Legion turned and put a hand on Shepard’s shoulder earning him a toothy grin.

Shepard let her hand slide away and headed for the door, stopping to look back at the quarians. “We’ll be here for at least a few hours. You’re welcome to hang out on the Normandy until then if you’d like. Thanks again for your help on Omega.”

“Keelah, no, thank you for getting me out of that place,” Kenn said.

Shepard nodded her head. “Anytime.”

She told EDI to have Grunt and James meet her at the airlock for guard duty and everyone else was free to do as they wished. Shepard left the quarians to get her armor on and check her weapons before meeting her guards at the airlock and stepping out onto the Citadel.

As she made her way to Anderson’s office, Shepard noticed the general sense of unease that permeated the Citadel. Humans clustered in small groups, casting wary eyes at every turian that walked by. Turian civilians seemed scarce, and when she did see one, they seemed to keep their eyes straight ahead and walk as quickly as they could. C-Sec patrolled heavily, especially in the lower wards. Their uniform didn’t seem to provide them any protection from the curses, slurs, and threats humans threw at the turian officers.

 _“This place feels like a warzone waiting to happen,”_ Jane said.

“Like the timer on a bomb ticking away,” Shepard thought.

Shepard stopped when she saw a human civilian getting in the face of a turian C-Sec officer. The man’s body language screamed aggression, even as the turian officer remained calm. Shepard could tell by the tight mandibles and the death grip on this assault rifle held against his chest that the officer was really anything but calm. Shepard shook her head and approached the loudmouth.

 _“He’s going to tear him apart the second that idiot touches him,”_ Jane said.

“I know,” Shepard thought.

“You’re all a bunch of fucking terrorists! Don’t stand there and act like you’re not one of them just because you’re a damn cop!” The human had his nose about three inches from the C-Sec officers and was just about to jam his finger into the turian’s armored chest.

Shepard grabbed the man’s wrist and wrenched it back. He screamed, whether from shock or pain she didn’t know and didn’t care. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“You fucking bitch! Let go of me! Goddamn terrorist-loving traitor.” Spittle flew from his lips.

 _“I’d break it for that,”_ Jane said.

James made a tsking sound as Shepard wrenched the man’s wrist back further, not quite to the point of snapping. “You see, he has to wait for you to actually touch him before he beats the shit out of you but I don’t. He could have already arrested you just for being up in his face, but he’s been patiently waiting, hoping you’d be stupid enough to touch him.” Shepard glanced up at the officer as the man buckled to his knees. “Sound about right, Officer …”

The turian saluted Shepard. “Calagius. That would be an accurate assessment, Spectre Commander Shepard.”

Shepard nodded in acknowledgement of his formality, her own hand a little too busy at the moment to return his salute. She shoved the man back, watching him fall on his ass and then scramble to regain his footing. “Piss off and don’t let me see you in another officer’s face or next time I’ll break your damn wrist if you’re lucky.”

The man glared at her as he backed away a few feet before turning tail and running. Grunt chortled; the sound carrying after the man and making him look back over his shoulder. Shepard turned to Calagius and held out a hand to him. The turian adjusted his assault rifle, lowering it in her presence now that there was no immediate threat and shook Shepard’s hand.

“How bad is it, Officer Calagius?” Shepard asked.

“Ma’am?” he said.

Shepard looked around them, her eyes lingering on the groups of uneasy humans. Calagius followed her eyes, taking in the signs of unrest.

“We’ve had a few minor riots since the announcement and turian – human related violence has increased by roughly thirty-five percent.” Calagius cleared his throat, his mandibles flaring. “Humans being the primary aggressors in the majority of reported cases.”

 _“Gods, it’s only going to get worse. If you’ve got an idea to stop The Dissension, you should get on it before there’s riots in the streets. We both know the Council isn’t prepared to deal with that and with the majority of C-Sec’s officers being turian … good cop or not, that’s going to be hard to not take personally,”_ Jane said.

“Damn, Commander. This is no bueno.” James shifted, twisting at the waist to scan the area.

“There’s not a lot we can do not knowing who they are. We can’t divert from the collectors completely to deal with this. We can’t be everywhere, can’t do everything,” Shepard thought.

“I say if they’re stupid enough to pick a fight with C-Sec unarmed, let them get shot,” Grunt said.

Shepard smirked and Calagius’ mandibles fluttered lightly. “Shooting unarmed civilians is generally frowned upon, Grunt. No matter how stupid they are.” She focused her attention back on Calagius. “Just try to remember that they’re acting out because they’re scared and they don’t know what else to do. That doesn’t excuse their behavior though, so don’t cut them any slack. If they’re breaking the law, they’re breaking the law. We both know you should have already put him in cuffs and run him in. Don’t let them get in your head, keep your cool.”

 _“You’re right. We don’t know who they are, anyone could be with them. Calagius here could be with them,”_ Jane said. _“Maybe that’s why he was letting the man press him.”_

“Yes ma’am.” Calagius saluted Shepard again.

“Maybe, but I won’t act on that sort of fear. They’re all innocent until I have a reason to think otherwise,” Shepard thought, returning Calagius’ salute before walking away.

At Anderson’s office, Rebecca stood when she saw Shepard and her team.

“Councilor Anderson has been expecting you. He said to send you in when you arrived,” Rebecca said.

“Thank you.” Shepard nodded at the secretary before making her way back to stop in front of the four guards posted outside of Anderson’s door.

Two asari commandos flanked two humans in Alliance gear. Shepard assumed the asari were Tevos’ contributions, a sign of solidarity and support for both the humans and the Council. The two men in Alliance uniform moved to block Shepard’s passage. The markings on their armor identified them as both being Service Chief in rank. Men who in another time, another life would have immediately stepped aside and saluted. Instead, they saluted James.

Shepard bit back the humiliation the two strangers were trying to heap on her. Reminding herself that she was where she needed to be and one day, she’d have her dog tags back around her neck where they belonged. The asari commandos watched, alert but appearing bored by their human counterparts display of muscle.

 _“Still stings, though, doesn’t it?”_ Jane said.

“Yeah. Yeah, it does,” Shepard thought.

“Council Spectre Commander Shepard. Councilor Anderson is expecting me,” Shepard said, asserting her full title.

“He’s expecting you, and he’s Alliance.” One of the men said indicating James.

“Didn’t say anything about a krogan.” The other said, nodding his head at Grunt.

 _“They do realize that The Dissension is a turian organization right?”_ Jane said.

“They are my guards while on the Citadel as per Council orders.” Shepard cracked her neck.

“Do we have a problem?” James asked stepping up beside Shepard.

“No sir,” the first man said.

“Then I suggest you two stop acting like FNGs, show the Commander here some respect and do your jobs. I’m pretty sure your orders were to protect the Councilor, not harass his guests,” James said.

Jane snickered, her amusement wearing down the sharp edges of Shepard’s growing anger.

“Give me a moment to check in with the councilor. Wait here, please.” He stepped inside Anderson’s office when James cocked an eyebrow.

A few moments later he returned, holding the door open for Shepard and her team. Anderson stood behind his desk, his hands clasped behind his back. A salarian, STG based on his dress and demeanor stood a few feet away while another man in Alliance armor stood on Anderson’s opposite side.

“Don’t let ‘em get to you, James. I know where I stand in the eyes of most people, but I do what needs to be done anyway,” Shepard said.

“It ain’t right, Ídolo. You saved their asses, all of them. You’ve earned their respect a hundred times over.” James shook his head, his brow furrowed.

 _“He always was a little naïve,”_ Jane said a little wistfully. 

“I know, James. It is what it is.” Shepard came to a stop in front of Anderson’s desk and saluted.

He nodded to the chairs and she sat down. Grunt and James remained standing behind her.

“Shepard, why am I not surprised to see you here?” Anderson settled back into his chair.

Shepard grinned. “I happen to have a very legitimate excuse to be here, Councilor. You informed Dr. Chakwas and Ms. Lawson that some of my medical records could only be released to me in person.”

Anderson scoffed but a grin spread across his face before he turned his attention to Shepard’s guards. “Lieutenant Vega, Urdnot Grunt. Good to see both of you again. Glad to see Shepard is taking her orders to have guards with her seriously.”

James saluted Anderson. “Yes sir. It’s good to see you as well, Councilor.”

“Councilor.” Grunt dipped his head.

“Where’s Vakarian? I expected to see him glued to your side,” Anderson asked.

“He’s getting in touch with some of his old contacts.” Shepard shifted, leaning forward in her chair. “Though after seeing the state of things on my way in here, I kind of wish I had kept him with me.”

 _“You think he’s going to run into trouble?”_ Jane asked.

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t. And if he does, he doesn’t do anything brash,” Shepard thought.

Anderson grunted in agreement. “Mmm. It’s not good, Shepard. But so far we’ve managed to keep things relatively calm. We still haven’t seen any sign of The Dissension taking direct actions, it seems almost as if they’re content to sit back and watch the tension unfold between turians and humans. It doesn’t feel right to me, though. My gut is telling me that they’re planning something. I just don’t know what.”

 _“Blowing up embassies, holding civilians hostage, storming facilities … could be anything,”_ Jane said.

“Of course they are. What it is will depend on what their numbers are and what they can pull off. Have you found out anything more about them?” Shepard asked.

Anderson shook his head and grimaced. “I’m afraid the Council’s hands are tied. You got my report? The Council is stepping back to allow the Primarch to investigate the matter internally. We’ve declared our opposition to the group, and will continue to look into them in regards to the Citadel but we aren’t reaching outside of the Citadel unless the Primarch fails to take care of this or things escalate.”

 _“So they’re doing nothing. Just like old times,”_ Jane said.

“For how long? How long does Primarch Fedorian have to ‘take care of this’? How far does it have to escalate before the Council steps up and actually does something other than make pretty speeches?” Shepard asked.

Anderson stood and paced back and forth in front of his desk. “I wish I knew, Shepard. I’ve been pushing for more resolute action, and so has Sparatus’ replacement – Acting Councilor Quentius. But Tevos and Valern won’t be moved.”

Jane fed images of Quentius to Shepard, filling her in on the turian’s general policies and outlook on turian-human relations. _“Had you not saved the Destiny Ascension, he’d be the permanent councilor now.”_

“What about Sparatus? How’s the investigation going?” Shepard asked.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss that, Shepard. All I can say is that there has been nothing to change the Council’s original opinion on the matter,” Anderson said.

 _“So they haven’t found anything incriminating,”_ Jane said.

“And the missing Spectre? What was her name?” Shepard asked as she watched Anderson’s agitated pacing.

She knew how infuriating it must be for him to have to deal with politics and red tape. Anderson was a man of action, not a man of words. Still, Shepard didn’t think that there was anyone better fitted to serve as the first human member of the Council. He definitely was a better choice than Udina.

“Protalus. There’s been no word on her. She’s gone underground. No reported sightings, she hasn’t attempted to access the Spectre systems, she hasn’t even attempted to access her private accounts.” Anderson stopped and pressed his palms to his desk, shaking his head. “It’s a damn mess, Shepard.”

 _“They’re not going to find her if she doesn’t want to be found. Unless she turns up dead,”_ Jane said. _“If they want to bring her in, they’re going to have to send a Spectre after her. Even then, they’ll have to send someone not turian to be sure they don’t lose another.”_

The comm on Anderson’s desk buzzed. “Sir, you’re next meeting is in fifteen minutes.”

Anderson let out a heavy sigh. “Alright, thank you Rebecca.”

Shepard stood and rolled her shoulders while Anderson walked around the desk to shake her hand.

“Here, I’ll forward you your medical records.” Anderson opened his omni-tool.

Shepard watched as his fingers glided over the holographic display. A moment later her omni-tool pinged. She was content to let the message sit until she was back on the Normandy but the look in Anderson’s eyes told her she needed to open it right away. Shepard lifted her arm and opened the screen, pulling up the message from Anderson. Her eyes skimmed over the headings containing her name and vital statistics until she found what she was looking for.

Tucked up in the upper right hand corner were the words, _“Apartment 32. Tiberius Towers on the Silversun Strip. @1800 hrs. Bring dinner and your people.”_

Shepard closed the omni-tool, her face as passive as ever. “Thanks, Anderson. I’m sure Dr. Chakwas will be glad to have these.”

 _“Maybe he has something he can’t tell us about here,”_ Jane said. _“Or maybe he’s hoping we have something we can’t tell him in front of the guards.”_

“Either way, looks like we’re setting up an impromptu dinner party at Anderson’s,” Shepard thought.

Anderson chuckled and patted Shepard on the back, guiding her to the door. “I’m sure you’ll be cursing me when they’re running their tests.”

“Never,” Shepard said with a grin.

She glanced at the time on her omni-tool on her way out. It was just after 0800 hours, she had the whole day to kill. Shepard made her way through the Citadel, stopping at various stores to snag what tech and supplies she could find, constantly aware of the tension in the atmosphere the entire time. Much to Grunt and James’ dismay, she made it a point to stop and have friendly chats with just about every turian C-Sec officer, shop owner, or disgruntled civilian she came across.

She asked EDI to see if she could ascertain whether an Alliance News Network reporter named Diana Allers and investigative journalist named Emily Wong were on the Citadel. When EDI confirmed that they were, Shepard had EDI send them a message on her behalf requesting a meeting at a time they could all agree on. Shepard wasn’t surprised when the return message from Emily came through minutes later telling Shepard to name the time and place and she’d make it happen.

 _“You think the media coverage will draw them out?”_ Jane asked.

“There’s a chance. If nothing else, maybe hearing some inspiring words from a familiar face can help ease tension,” Shepard thought.

Diana took a little longer to get back to her than expected. Shepard hoped she hadn’t made a mistake by thinking that the reporter would be the right choice. Shepard had a lot of respect for the Diana of Jane’s memories, the woman was a little ruthless and knew how to cut to the quick but she was fair and did a decent enough job of being objective. Nearly an hour and a half had passed before she heard back from Diana. Her response was simple, she was willing to meet with Shepard in one hour but only if they could do the interview aboard the Normandy. Shepard smiled at the tenacious ultimatum and sent her a message agreeing to her terms. She forwarded the time and location to Emily before stopping off to grab a quick lunch with James and Grunt.

Shepard waited outside of the Normandy for the two reporters; again she was not surprised when Emily was the first to show up with all of her enthusiasm. Shepard made idle chit chat with the reporter, off the record while they waited for Diana. Emily blushed when James made a show of bowing over her hand held loosely in his during introductions. Shepard snorted indelicately and gently slapped the marine’s armored chest with her gauntleted hand. Shepard was proud that Grunt remembered his manners and didn’t try to intimidate the poor woman for standing too close to Shepard.

Diana arrived and James’ jaw dropped. The leggy, busty woman was always fond of skin tight dresses that showed far more cleavage than anyone else even remotely associated with the Alliance could get away with.

“Commander Shepard? I’m Diana Allers.” Diana extended her hand to Shepard. “I must admit I was a bit surprised to receive your message – sent to me personally.”

Shepard smiled and shook Diana’s hand. “Let’s just say I have a strong appreciation for reporters who focus on the facts and not what sensationalist spin they can put on things to get higher ratings. Ms. Allers, this is Emily Wong. She’s an investigative journalist that’s been working on the Citadel for some time now. I’ve asked her to join us as well.”

The two reporters shook hands, acknowledging that they were familiar with one another’s work before turning back to Shepard expectantly.

“Before I take you aboard, I’d like to set some ground rules.” Shepard waited for both women to nod before continuing. “I will be taking you to the comm room for the duration of this interview. You will not turn your cameras on until we are in the comm room, and anything that you see or hear outside of the comm room is strictly off the record.”

Shepard saw the immediate pout come to Diana’s mouth but the woman nodded in acquiescence. Emily seemed unbothered by the demands and waited patiently for Shepard to continue.

“This will not be a free for all interview. There are some things that I simply _cannot_ discuss with you at this time, and other things that although might seem viable topics would only detract from the topic I would like to focus on.” Shepard looked back and forth between the women as she spoke, making sure that they were keeping up and weren’t going to fight her on the points. “If at any point I can’t answer a question I will let you know and I ask that you move on. If this goes smoothly, I would consider future interviews with the two of you to discuss other viable topics.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, what _is_ the topic you would like to discuss?” Emily asked.

“The Dissension,” Shepard said.

Emily nodded her head while Diana seemed to mull it over before asking, “Perhaps you can make it more clear which topics you consider viable and which topics you’re hoping to avoid?”

“Certainly,” Shepard said with a nod of her head. “Topics I would consider discussing at a later time would be the reapers, the collectors, the geth, and the fact that I’m alive after the old Normandy went down and I was spaced. Topics I would like to avoid – for the time being are Cerberus, the details of any arrangements I may or may not have with either the Alliance or the Council in regards to my presence with Cerberus, and any questions involving any members of my crew unless they have consented to have those questions answered.”

 _“And me,”_ Jane said.

“They’ve got no reason to ask about you, thank gods,” Shepard thought.

“Commander, with all due respect ma’am, those are the very topics that my viewers are going to be the most interested in hearing about when it comes to you,” Diana said.

“I know, Ms. Allers, and I am prepared to make a brief statement touching on some of those topics. The statement will not allow for follow up questions, however. If you are not interested in what I have to offer, Ms. Allers, I understand,” Shepard said.

“Oh no, I’m definitely interested and I can agree to your terms,” Diana said.

Shepard nodded her head before turning to Emily. “Ms. Wong?”

“Absolutely, Shepard. Thank you for giving me this opportunity,” Emily said.

Shepard nodded her head. “If you two will follow me.”

Shepard led them into the Normandy and quickly through the armory into the comm room. Diana couldn’t help but to soak in as much of the ship as she could see as they went. Once the two reporters where in the comm room, Shepard excused herself for a moment and stepped out into the hall making sure the door closed behind securely.

“EDI, send a message to all crew letting them know that I am with reporters and to avoid the comm room until further notice. You and Legion should probably both lay low until this is over as well,” Shepard said.

 _“Good idea. Allers is a good reporter and a good woman, but let’s not tempt her,”_ Jane said.

“Understood, Shepard,” EDI said.

Shepard went back in the comm room to find Diana and Emily already set up and waiting for her. Shepard ditched her armor and weapons on the floor, tucking them into a corner and running her hands through her hair. Shepard grinned as Emily made some adjustments, shifting Shepard’s hair and clothing until she thought she was camera ready. Shepard was just glad that neither of them tried to pull out a makeup bag.

With both of the cameras rolling, Shepard tucked her hands behind her back and began. “As many of you watching this already know, I am Council Spectre Commander Shepard. Although it will not be the focus of this interview, I would like to clarify a few things for those of you watching.”

Shepard shifted her weight slightly. “I was the commanding officer of the SSV Normandy SR-1. The SSV Normandy SR-1 was attacked by another vessel, one we have since identified as a collector ship. The Normandy was destroyed. Many fine men and women lost their lives that day, and I was one of them. My body was recovered and put into stasis while transported to an undisclosed facility where I was revived and restored using experimental technology over a two year period.”

 _“And now every scientist in the galaxy wants to get their hands on you,”_ Jane said.

“Although I have not been technically restored to active duty with the Alliance Navy, neither have I been officially stripped of my rank. My Spectre status has, however, been officially restored.” Shepard gently cleared her throat. “As I suspect most humans, if not most of all species know by now, humanity is facing a dire threat as the collectors attack and abduct entire human colonies outside of Alliance and Council protected space. It is my current mission to bring an end to these abductions.”

 _“That was vague. It implies that the Council and Alliance support what you’re doing without directly saying so. Let’s just hope it was vague enough to not piss off the higher ups,”_ Jane said.

“I hope that this helps to clear up some of the confusion about my death, subsequent reappearance, and speculations about my rank and loyalties. That being said, there is something else that I would like to address and I have invited Emily Wong and Diana Allers to join me in discussing.” Shepard glanced at the two women as she said their names. “As you have heard by now, there is an anti-human organization calling themselves The Dissension who have declared war on humanity despite the very adamant and very public disavowal made by both the Council and turian Primarch Fedorian. It has also been suggested that Councilor Sparatus could be involved with this organization. Councilor Sparatus denies the accusations, and has recused himself from the Council and submitted himself for investigation.”

Taking that as her cue, Diana jumped right in. “Commander Shepard, what can you tell us about The Dissension?”

“At this point, little is known about the group or what exactly it is that they want other than for humanity to be removed from galactic society. To the best of my knowledge, they have not identified a leader, have made no specific demands, and have yet to take actions warranting the classification of terrorism,” Shepard said. “The group is being investigated on multiple-fronts and information will likely be released to the public as it is discovered and deemed appropriate by the Council and respective governments.”

 _“’Deemed appropriate’ … that’s political speak for we’ll tell you the least amount we can get away with,”_ Jane said.

“Commander, my resources tell me that you may have been key in uncovering The Dissension. Do you care to comment on that?” Emily asked.

Shepard schooled her carefully crafted mask of authority before her eyebrow could twitch in surprise. Emily had definitely been doing her homework. Shepard wondered exactly who her contacts where and what resources she had access to.

“During a visit to a prison vessel, it was discovered that there was a list of people interested in attempting to purchase me in an auction, should the warden of the prison be able to capture me. He was unable to do so, clearly.” Shepard allowed herself a small smile. “The list was retrieved and on that list was a name that eventually led back to a turian who was found on the Citadel. The turian was placed under arrest for his attempts in human trafficking among various other crimes. It was during interrogation that this turian named The Dissension and their intent to purchase me at this auction.”

“So there were other names on that list? Other people who were seeking to purchase you at this auction,” Diana said.

 _“They’re good. Too good, don’t let them trip you up. You really should have insisted on reviewing their footage before any of it was released,”_ Jane said.

“Yes, there were other names but I am not at liberty to reveal those names or their connections at this time as it is still an ongoing investigation,” Shepard said.

“Did this turian divulge what it is that The Dissension wanted you for?” Diana asked.

“From what I was able to ascertain, The Dissension intended to use me as leverage against the Alliance. I do not know the nature of how they intended to do this, only that they hoped it would convince the Alliance to back out of galactic politics or risk starting a war,” Shepard said.

 _“Which they’ve gone and declared anyway, and if they aren’t snuffed out fast, they’ll inevitably get,”_ Jane said.

“Commander, there was an incident on the Citadel not too long ago involving a large group of dead turians in the warehouse district. Was this related to The Dissension?” Emily asked.

Shepard felt Jane’s satisfied smirk creep through. _“Maybe they do have a reason to ask about me.”_

“Yes. A group of turians associated with The Dissension made another attempt to abduct me. I was forced to defend myself, and consider myself lucky and grateful that I have a supportive team that came to my aid.” Shepard shifted her weight again, hoping they wouldn’t question her further on that night.

 _“You’re taking credit for my kills, Dawn. That’s not very nice,”_ Jane said.

“No, I’m saying that I had to defend myself and my team helped. That’s not a lie.” Shepard thought, growing agitated by Jane’s interruptions while she was trying to choose her words carefuly.

“Reports show that a turian politician, Joram Talid, was recently killed while in C-Sec custody. The nature of his charges have not been disclosed, and an investigation into his death is still ongoing,” Emily said. “My resources suggest that a turian Spectre may have been responsible for Talid’s death. Commander, can you tell us if this was also related to The Dissension? It is no secret that Talid’s campaign revolved around anti-human views.”

 _“Who the hell are her resources? That’s classified, isn’t it?”_ Jane asked.

Dianna glanced at Emily, her eyebrows raised. Shepard wasn’t sure if she was more impressed by Emily’s investigative skills or her grit when it came to asking the hard questions. Apparently, Diana was equally impressed – or perhaps feeling threatened, Shepard was unsure.

“As it still involves an ongoing investigation, I am unfortunately unable to comment on Mr. Talid or any crimes he may or may not have committed prior to his death. I am also unable at this time to speculate on whether his death was caused by a Council Spectre,” Shepard said.

 _“The Council isn’t going to like this at all,”_ Jane said.

“I’m not sure I care,” Shepard thought.

“Is there anything that you can tell us about the investigation into Councilor Sparatus?” Diana asked.

“I have not yet been given any details about the investigation. I know only that the other councilors appear to remain unconvinced of the accusations, even as they remain objective on the matter,” Shepard said.

 _“Fantastic doublespeak. I think you may just have a knack for this stuff,”_ Jane said.

“Do you believe that the councilor was involved?” Emily asked.

“It is my personal opinion that Councilor Sparatus is not involved with The Dissension. That being said, I have no evidence to support this opinion, and am only speaking from personal observations and interactions with the councilor. I believe that he has acted with honor in the matter, and I fully expect for him to be cleared of all charges,” Shepard said.

 _“You realize that even if he is cleared, that accusation will linger over his head and taint public opinion for as long as he’s in office. He’ll never be trusted again,”_ Jane said.

“If the councilor is not involved, why do you suppose he was named?” Emily asked.

“Again, I can only offer speculation but I believe that Councilor Sparatus is in a powerful position as a member of the Council, and it would add credence to The Dissension if they could convince the galactic community that Councilor Sparatus was among their ranks.” Shepard waved a hand dismissively to emphasize her point as she continued. “Strategically speaking, if the councilor was indeed among The Dissension, I believe his name would have been a closely guarded secret likely only known to those top ranking individuals within the organization.”

Shepard held a hand out, palm up. “Because of his position of power, were he genuinely involved with the group, releasing his name would only cripple their organization because as we have seen, it warrants the removal of the councilor from that position of power.” Shepard held out her other hand. “Whereas naming an innocent man in a position of power opens the door to the possibility of convincing the public that they are stronger than they truly are if they can convince the public of his guilt.”

 _“As much as that makes sense, the layman isn’t going to grasp that. They’re going to believe he was named because it’s the truth. We both know it,”_ Jane said.

“The Dissension has openly declared war against humanity. As you have said yourself, Commander, both the turian Hierarchy and the Council have opposed this declaration but what does this mean for humanity?” Diana asked.

“The Alliance is not considering this an idle threat, nor are they considering this a threat made by the Hierarchy, but rather a threat made by one very specific group.” Shepard wanted the fact that The Dissension were acting outside of Hierarchy to be emphasized as much as possible. “The fact that this group happens to be turian holds no bearing to the Alliance, as they are clearly not speaking or acting for all turians and certainly not for the Hierarchy.”

 _“Tsk tsk, you don’t know that. You don’t really know what the Alliance’s stance is on this. You’re not really in the Alliance loop anymore. Careful, Dawn, you’re treading into unfamiliar territory and you’re going to get your ass handed to you over it,”_ Jane said.

Shepard fought the urge to wince. Jane was right; she was coming close to making claims that could get her in serious trouble. Hell, this entire interview could get her in serious trouble. She hadn’t cleared the idea with the Council or the Alliance; she was acting on her own and skating on thin ice.

“Yes, but outside of the Alliance’s stance, what does it mean for humanity, Commander?” Dianna asked.

“I can only make speculations based on observations, Ms. Allers. From what I have seen here on the Citadel today, I would say that what we can expect is for tensions to continue to run high while both humans and turians – as well as the rest of the galactic community – wait to see what The Dissension will do now that their declaration has been made.” Shepard looked down at the floor in front of her for a moment before returning her eyes to the cameras positioned behind and to the sides of the two reporters.

“The Dissension is doing what it can to strike fear into the hearts of every human. We are a strong race, and we do not cower easily. Unfortunately, because The Dissension is an ambiguous term we have no faces to put to this enemy other than those they claim to represent – turians.” Shepard could feel herself getting choked up, tears threatening her eyes as she thought about how easily this thing could get out of hand. “For many humans, their desire to protect themselves and their loved ones from this unknown enemy has led to them retaliating against any turian they cross paths with. They are letting their fear turn to hatred, and that is a very dangerous path to take. It is a path we have walked far too many times in human history, and it is one that I sincerely hope to see us avoid now.”

 _“Strong words coming from someone working with Cerberus,”_ Jane said.

“Don’t give me that crap,” Shepard thought.

 _“I’m just telling you how they’re going to see it, Dawn. You’ve associated yourself with a group that is considered to be an anti-alien terrorist organization and here you are spouting off inclusive idealism in the face of an anti-human terrorist organization. You’re branding yourself a hypocrite,”_ Jane said.

A long silence stretched between the three of them, broken only by the quiet hum of the cameras. Shepard struggled with the heavy truth of Jane’s words. They would think she was a hypocrite. Just as she was beginning to really question the wisdom of doing the interview, Emily broke the silence as she pushed her short hair behind her ear.

“Commander, do you have any parting words for our viewers?” Emily asked.

Shepard cleared her throat and nodded her head. “To The Dissension, if any of you are watching; know that we will not be intimidated, we will not be cowed, we will not be broken. To the Hierarchy, I thank you for your public support of peace and your swift actions on dealing with this organization.”

“To the turian civilians, C-Sec officers, and soldiers who are finding themselves suddenly in a hostile environment filled with wary glances, angry words, and aggressive behaviors towards you simply because you are turian – I am truly sorry.” Shepard gave a sad shake of her head. “Know that not all of humanity sees you as the enemy, and there are those of us who are fighting to set things right again.”

“To the humans who have found themselves suddenly suspicious of their neighbors, afraid of their co-workers, or who are otherwise tempted to lay blame at the feet of every turian you meet I beg you to remember the times in our history when we were faced with similar threats.” Shepard paused, tilting her head to the side and making herself remember, too. “Remember both the honorable and the dishonorable ways that we dealt with those threats, then remember the costs of both and choose the honorable path. Thank you, that is all.”

 _“The dice haven’t been cast yet, you can still tell them you’ve changed your mind,”_ Jane said.

“How soon will this air?” Shepard asked.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	32. Chapter 31: It's Not a Party

**Chapter 31: It’s Not a Party**

            “So we’re having a party at the councilor’s place? Fuck yeah!” Jack grinned, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the table in the comm room.

            Images of Jack dancing on the dining room table of Anderson’s apartment flitted across her mind. Shepard blinked her eyes and shook her head.

            “No, Jack, we’re having dinner at the councilor’s apartment.” Shepard raised her eyebrows, warning the biotic to be on her best behavior. “Though, technically, I have a feeling that you’re more so there to create a _mild_ distraction so the councilor can speak with me in private.”

            Jack’s simple grin took on a mischievous tilt. “I can do distraction.”

            “Jack.” Shepard shook her head while Garrus chuckled.

            “I’ll bring the ryncol.” Grunt bounced on his feet a little, soaking in Jack’s enthusiasm.

            “Grunt, no. We’re not bringing ryncol. This is not a party.” Shepard splayed her palms out on the table and leaned forward, eyeing the adolescent krogan.

            Images of Grunt, drunk and unconscious, sitting in the shower stall washed over her. The shower on full blast, the krogan mumbled in his sleep.

            “I don’t need the party play though, Jane,” Shepard thought.

            “Hell yeah, bring lots of that shit.” Jack slapped Grunt on the shoulder, giving him a little shake.

            “I mean, I can at least bring cerveza, right?” James asked. “Anderson would be cool with that. Right?”

            Shepard let out a faint whimper and pinched the bridge of her nose. She looked up in time to see Jack exchanging a high five with James. “Alright, alright. You can bring beer. Just beer. A _reasonable amount_ of beer. That’s it.”

            “Come on, Shepard. We might as well drink juice,” Grunt said.

            “This isn’t a party! This isn’t even a real dinner invite for gods’ sake! We don’t know what Anderson wants to talk about; he could be calling us in to send right back out the door five minutes later on a mission or something. It’s a cover, that’s it. He probably isn’t even expecting me to show up with _all_ of you.”

            “All of us? Does that mean Legion gets to come, too?” The hopeful lilt to Lia’s voice dug at Shepard’s resolve.

            “Lia … trust me, I’d love to have Legion with us but a geth walking around the Citadel … it just isn’t a good idea,” Shepard said.

            “Well, what if nobody sees him?” Kasumi asked.

            Garrus chuffed, his mandibles fluttering. “He’s a little hard to miss.”

            Kasumi cocked her hip to the side and disappeared, her tactical cloak activating. “Not if he uses cloaking. I don’t see any reason why he can’t incorporate it into his systems. You said that some of the heretics you’ve fought used cloaking, right?”

            Shepard threw her hands up. “If he can keep himself cloaked, he can go. This isn’t mandatory, so if any of you don’t want to go that’s fine. Otherwise, be ready in an hour.”

            Shepard left the comm room and made her way to life support, Thane’s soothing presence beside her. She settled down to the floor and pulled her boots off, shoving them aside. It took a little poking and prodding from Thane to get her into the proper position, but once there she was able to fall easily into the breathing exercises.

            She took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly. Jane squirmed restlessly in her mind.

            _“What do you think Anderson wants to talk about?”_ Jane asked.

            Shepard took in another breath, acknowledging Jane’s question and letting it go. Now was not the time.

            _“Do you think he wants you to go after that rogue Spectre?”_ Jane asked.

            Shepard breathed deeply, holding it for a second longer than she intended before letting it out a little bit more forcefully than she should.

            “Focus on the flow of energy, Siha.” Thane’s voice, soft and warm cut through her growing ire.

            Shepard had a vague understanding of the seven chakras that human tradition, stimming from ancient Indian culture, used to be mindful of the flow of energy through their bodies and to reach a higher level of spiritual enlightenment. She had to throw that mentality out of the window when she agreed to work with Thane. He taught her what he knew, and although there were similarities, the merged hanar and drell view encompassed the entirety of the body as opposed to the straight line through the trunk and head of the body that humans adhered to. Thane’s version felt more like a disoriented tree, branching out through the arms and legs, with points spread out through all of the joints.

            Shepard gave a slight nod and tried to feel the energy flowing through her, starting with the tips of her fingers and toes. She felt the hairs on her arms raise as her biotics flared to life, responding to her thoughts. Shepard blew out a frustrated breath and let her shoulders slouch.

            Thane chuckled. “Don’t be discouraged, Siha. This is a normal response in biotics. In time, if you wish, you can learn to control the flare during meditation.”

            _“Must be why Samara always flares when she meditates,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard straightened her spine once more. Taking a deep breath, she focused on the flow of energy, letting her biotics flare as they willed.

            _“Hey, you know what we should be doing instead of this? We should be spending time with Mordin practicing letting me out at will. I like that idea much better,”_ Jane said.

            Breathe in.

            _“Do you think any of them will ever be able to tell us what’s happening with us? Why we keep living through this cycle?”_ Jane asked.

            Breathe out.

            _“So, what did you think about John? You do realize that it isn’t really you that he cares about, right?”_ Jane asked.

            Breathe in.

            _“I know he thinks he can take over. That’s not going to happen, Dawn. That’ll never happen,”_ Jane said.

            Breathe out.

            _“Gods damn it, stop ignoring me!”_ Jane yelled, pain lancing through Shepard’s head.

            “Fuck.” Shepard growled, her biotics dissipating.

            “Siha,” Thane said.

            “No, I can’t fucking do this. It’s not working. This is never going to work.” Shepard jumped to her feet. “I’m sorry, Thane. I just can’t do this. Not right now. I should get ready for Anderson’s anyway.”

            _“That’s right; it isn’t going to work because I’m not some delusion to be quieted with calm thoughts and deep breathing. I’m real, Dawn. I’m real and I’m here with you. Always,”_ Jane said.

            Thane watched her from his spot on the floor, rising to his feet when she grabbed her boots and flopped down in one of the chairs. “We’ve barely started, Shepard. Given time—.”

            “I don’t _have_ time, Thane.” Shepard met his gaze, tears threatening to spill over. “It’s getting worse. I can feel it. They’re—they’re starting a war in here.” Shepard dug her fingers into her temple, rising to her feet, her boots on but untied. “Breaking off into factions, vying for power. Jane’s got psychos pulling her strings and John’s fucking talking about mutiny. I don’t have _time_.”

            _“Name calling isn’t nice, Dawn. Their lives are at stake here, too. Shouldn’t they have a say in what happens to them?”_ Jane asked.

            Thane’s hand darted toward her face, lightning fast. Before Shepard could think to be shocked that he was striking out at her, her arm was there to block the hit. Jane growled in her head. Another strike, aimed low at her shoulder made her shift, dodging the blow. Jane insisted that she hit him back. Instead, her body fell into a defensive stance on its own accord. Another strike, aimed at her head was pushed away with her finger tips.

            The corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk. “A week ago, you couldn’t do that.”

            _“What the hell?”_ Jane grumbled.

            Shepard shook her head, but smiled despite herself. “Yeah, well, fighting is something I excel at.” She pointed at the spot on the floor where she had been sitting. “This … this is something else entirely. I feel like there’s a storm brewing inside of me and I don’t have any control over when or where it’s going to hit.”

            “No one can control a storm, Siha, but we can learn the skills we need to remain standing when it passes.” His hand reached for her face, his movements measured and slow letting her know he was done with forcing her to defend herself. “You are stronger than this. Stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. This thing that you’re dealing with would have shattered anyone else long ago.” He caressed her cheek with his thumb, Shepard leaning into his palm. “Don’t give up hope, Siha.”

            “No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll try again tomorrow, I promise.” Shepard closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his waist beneath his jacket and tucking her head under his chin.

            _“When the storm hits, you’ll understand. You’ll understand I’m doing what has to be done. For all of us, including you,”_ Jane said.

            “You really believe that, don’t you?” Shepard thought.

            “Indeed. Perhaps we will also talk about John and his mutiny. You haven’t mentioned him before.” Thane pressed his lips against her scalp.

            _“Of course I do,”_ Jane said.

            Shepard groaned.

            “You haven’t spoken to Garrus or your caretakers about this either, have you?” Thane asked his words muffled in her hair.

            Shepard shook her head reluctantly. A low hum rumbled through his chest but he didn’t say anything else. Shepard was relieved he wasn’t going to chastise her, she just wasn’t ready to deal with it all yet. Especially after the comments Garrus made about killing Jane. That scared her; she felt certain that destroying Jane would destroy herself.

Thane lifted her chin with a knuckle, his eyes black orbs in the shadows. His thumb brushed her lip, leaving the faintest trace of venom behind. Shepard licked her lip, pulling the taste of him in. Heat coursed through her as his lips parted in response, his gaze fixed on her mouth. Leaning forward, his lips grazed hers. Shepard’s breath caught in her throat, her fingers tugging at the leather of his vest pulling him closer.

He grinned before bringing his mouth back to hers, tugging at her lower lip before trailing the tip of his tongue over the tender skin. Shepard ran her hands up his back until she could feel the bare scales of his shoulders beneath her fingertips, straining the leather of his jacket. She pushed into him, forming her body to his and nipped gently at his lip. His moan stoking the fire building inside of her, she pushed her hips into his.

Thane cleared his throat and pulled back to look at her with a smirk. “I believe we have a party to get ready for.”

Shepard let out an exasperated sigh and let her hands drop from him so she could slap his arm. “It’s not a party!” She stuck her lip out in a pout.

Thane’s laughter echoed off the walls, warming her heart and bringing a smile to her lips. Gods she loved him. She’d been fighting the urge to utter those three words to him since Kahje, forcing herself to hold them back, knowing he wasn’t ready to reciprocate. Not that he had to feel the same, but she didn’t want to burden him any further. She didn’t want him to feel obligated or rushed in anyway.

 _“So tell him. You know that you don’t have a lot of time with him, and the others … they never said it enough. We never say it enough.”_ The sincerity in Jane’s words caught Shepard off guard, her smile fading.

“What’s wrong?” Thane’s brow dipped in concern.

Shepard cleared her throat and took a step back, putting a little space between them. Thane’s hands slipped away from her, confusion etched into his features as he tucked his hands behind his back.

“I … I want to tell you something.” Shepard cleared her throat. “Jane’s right about one thing. I don’t have a lot of time with you.”

“Siha.” Thane reached for her again but Shepard shook her head.

“No, wait. Just listen. OK?” Shepard waited until he tucked his hands behind his back again, his gaze unfaltering as he watched her.

“We don’t have a lot of time together, no matter how optimistic I am about this war. We just don’t. I know that all of this with Jane makes things more difficult for us, too.” Shepard pushed her hair behind her ear and crossed her arms. “And I know that you’ve felt at a disadvantage with the things that I know, and probably more so realizing that I felt something for you beyond what the others felt.”

Thane’s jaw twitched ever so slightly and she knew he was refraining from speaking because she had asked him to just listen. Shepard nodded and licked her lips, giving them what little moisture her mouth could produce.

“I don’t want to wait for some ‘right time’ that might never come, or come just before it’s too late.” Shepard licked her lips again and squared her shoulders. “So, I’m going to say what I need to say and then I’m going to walk out of that door and you’re going to let me. And I hope you forgive me for it, because I think there’s a part of you that needs to hear it, and I need to say it. But I’m not willing to put you in a position where you feel you should say something you don’t fully mean.”

Thane swallowed his jaw spasmed again before he swallowed once more and dipped his head in acquiescence.

Shepard stepped a little closer, her hand reaching out to cradle his face. She brushed a thumb across his cheek much as he had hers moments before. “I love you.”

He closed his eyes, and her hand fell away. Shepard turned and forced herself to walk away, her boots threatening to slip off her feet. She didn’t stop though, not until she was in the elevator and the door was closed behind her. She let out a shuddering breath and hit the button for her cabin.

 _“Feel better?”_ Jane asked.

“A little. And a little terrified,” Shepard thought, bending to pull the laces of her boots through the hooks and tie them off.

An hour later, Shepard stopped in front of the two guards standing outside of Anderson’s apartment door. They were different guards from the ones she dealt with earlier in the day, one asari and one human in Alliance gear. The asari pulled her biotic energy around her hands while the soldier lowered his assault rifle.

Shepard held up her shopping bags filled with ingredients and beer. “Just here to surprise an old friend with dinner, no need to for things to get ugly, now is there?”

Samara, Zaeed, Mordin, and Miranda had opted to stay on the Normandy. The others were packed in behind and to the side of Shepard. She knew showing up armed to the teeth and in armor wasn’t going to win her any favors, but she wasn’t going anywhere on the Citadel without adequate defense no matter how many of her crew were with her. Of course since she was in full gear, she couldn’t expect the others to leave theirs behind. She was a Spectre though, so she could get away with it whether Anderson’s guards liked it or not.

“Jackson, she’s a Spectre.” The asari let her biotics die down as Shepard fought off a grin.

The Alliance officer glanced at the asari before looking back at Shepard then to Garrus, his gun shifting with him. “She’s also unexpected, armed, and with a group of armed individuals. One of them turian.”

Garrus stilled beside Shepard, even as Jane began moving around agitatedly in her head. Jane was itching to wrap her hands around the soldier’s throat and choke the life from him for daring to point a gun at one of her crew. Shepard could feel the desire seeping into her own hands. She shook her head and put the bags down next to her feet. The movement drew the attention of the officer back to her but his gun stayed trained on Garrus.

Shepard plastered a toothy grin on her face. “You even _think_ about pulling that trigger on him and I’ll rip your balls out through your throat. Now why don’t you do the smart thing here and tell Councilor Anderson that he has company and let _him_ decide whether he wants to invite us in or not?”

Jackson glared at Shepard. She could hear Jack, Grunt, James, and she thought Kasumi and even Lia snickering and whispering behind her. Jane laughed raucously. Shepard held up a hand and the noise died down, all except for Jane.  

 _“Look at him! Oh he wants to put you down now. He’s hoping you’ll give him an excuse. Poor kid actually thinks he stands a chance,”_ Jane said.

The asari’s eyes widened and she nodded her head. “Yes ma’am, right away. I’ll inform the councilor that you’re here.”

“Thank you,” Shepard said, giving her a genuine smile as she disappeared in the apartment.

The tension remained high in the hall as Jackson refused to lower his weapon. Shepard had to admit that she was a little impressed and proud that the Alliance still put steel into their soldier’s spines. A moment later the door opened again and the asari stepped back outside, Anderson behind her.

“Shepard! What a pleasant surprise.” Anderson held his arms out to her and grinned.

She stepped forward and let Anderson wrap his arms around her, flashing a smug smile at Jackson as she returned Anderson’s embrace. Jackson’s ears wiggled as he clenched his jaw but nodded his head, lowering his rifle.

 _“That’s right kid,”_ Jane said.

Shepard stepped back and picked up the bags. “Thought you could use dinner and some friendly faces.”

“Perfect timing, I was just starting to get hungry. Come on in.” Anderson held his hand out to Garrus as Jack slipped past the guards and into the apartment, the others starting to file in behind her. “Garrus, good to see you. How’ve you been?”

Garrus smiled, his mandibles fluttering lightly as the tension seeped out of him. He took Anderson’s hand in his own. “I’ve been better, all things considered. It’s good to see you, too. I hope our sudden arrival didn’t upset any plans.”

“Ha, are you kidding?” Anderson put a hand on Garrus’ elbow, guiding him through the door. “This is the highlight of my week.”

Shepard followed them inside, Thane behind her the last to enter. The door slid closed behind them. Shepard headed straight for the kitchen and dropped the bags on the counter. Shepard looked around the apartment, almost exactly as Jane remembered. There was a missing knick-knack here, a different painting there, but essentially just the same. Anderson stopped at the counter to help her empty the bags.

 _“It smells like him. Like Anderson. Home.”_ Jane’s voice took on a wistful tone, making Shepard nostalgic for simpler years spent training and working missions that seemed to make sense.

“Yeah,” Shepard thought.

“We alone in here?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah. I refused to allow my home to be taken over by guards, I told the Alliance and the Council that they could have one each outside the door and that was it. One of them comes in every half hour or so to do a sweep.” Anderson moved to a cabinet and pulled out a cutting board and knives. “They weren’t too happy about it, but I reminded them that before I was a councilor I was the Captain of the Normandy and a veteran N7. That shut them up. I feel like I’m on damn lockdown, Shepard.”

“Sorry, Anderson. They just want to keep you alive. Maybe you should remind them of that more often.” Shepard grinned. “So, you want to tell me why the secrecy for dinner?”

“Go on in that bedroom and get that armor off, Shepard. Get comfortable and relax, we’ve got plenty of time to talk.” Anderson said popping the top off of one of the beers James bought. “Let’s kill two birds with one stone, and actually enjoy ourselves for a few hours. What do you say?”

Shepard caught the rough edges of a frown threatening to break free before Anderson forced a smile and averted his gaze.

 _“Something is definitely wrong,”_ Jane said.

“Yeah, I get that. He’s not going to talk until he’s ready, though,” Shepard thought.

“Hey, he’s got a bar, Shepard!” Jack’s voice carried through the apartment.

“It’s not a party, Jack!” Shepard shouted back.

 _“That doesn’t mean you can’t push him,”_ Jane said.

Anderson chuckled. “Help yourself.”

“Oh you really shouldn’t have told her that.” Shepard shook her head.

“I’m not going to push him. He asked me here for a reason, he’s not going to let me leave until he tells me what that was,” Shepard thought.

Jack’s voice carried back to them. “Thank you, Mr. Councilor, sir!”

Shepard cringed. Anderson laughed and pushed Shepard toward the downstairs bedroom. She followed orders, heading into the bedroom. She heard the door close behind her as she started to remove her weapons from their holsters and turned around to see Garrus. She gave him a hopeful smile, they really hadn’t talked much since she snapped at him in the med bay and he said he needed space. Her heart fluttered when he returned her smile and started helping her with her armor. Shepard felt Jane retreat, closing herself off from Shepard, giving her privacy. Her breastplate slipped away and Garrus tossed it to the bed before pulling her back against his chest. She felt him bend, his face moving to the crook of her neck, his warm tongue trailing over the sensitive flesh.

Shepard let out a throaty chuckle. “As much as I’ve missed you, this is so not the time or the place.”

His hot breath blew across her neck before teeth nipped at her skin. Shepard groaned and leaned her weight against him. “Garrus.”

“Hmm?” He nipped at her again, sliding his arm around her side to circle around her chest.

“We’re in Anderson’s apartment and most of the crew is out there.” She tilted her head to the side, giving him better access to her neck, contradicting her words.

A knock at the door brought a low growl from Garrus. Shepard chuckled and turned around standing on her tip-toes to kiss him before turning her attention to the door.

“Yeah?” Shepard said loud enough to be heard in the hall.

“Ídolo, Garrus in there with you?” James’ voice was muffled by the door.

Garrus crossed the floor and opened the door. James looked up at him before glancing at Shepard and waggled his eyebrows. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes,” Garrus said. “Go away.”

“No.” Shepard laughed. “What do you need, James?”

James turned his attention back to Garrus with a shit-eating grin. “I figured you should probably be the one to cook yours and Lia’s food. I don’t want to mess it up, have you on the can all night. Women don’t think that’s sexy.”

Jane snickered, resurfacing now that the moment had passed.

Jack showed up, leaning against the doorframe next to James with a glass of clear liquid in her hand. “No one thinks that shit’s sexy. Unless they have some sort of sick fetish.” She took a long drink. “Are ya’ll in here fucking? I thought you said this wasn’t a party, Alliance?”

“Alright, out, all of you! I am perfectly capable of taking off my own armor.” She demonstrated by working the clasps at her hips. “Garrus, go make sure Vega doesn’t give you food poisoning. Jack, thank you for using a glass.”

Garrus chuffed but followed James out of the room.

 _“He’ll always come back to us, you know that, right?”_ Jane asked.

“You’re the one who said I’d broken him,” Shepard thought.

 “I’m trying to be all proper and shit, Shepard. We’re in a goddamn councilor’s apartment. So shut the fuck up about it before you make me feel like a pussy and I have to kick your ass to prove that I’m not.” Jack came the rest of the way in and sat her glass down on the nightstand, surprisingly on a coaster. “Here, let me do that.”

 _“You did, but he’s putting himself back together again. Not quite the same Garrus I remember, but still just as reliable. Loyal. The most loyal person we’ve ever met,”_ Jane said.

Shepard laughed and shook her head at Jack’s colorful explanation, moving her hands aside so Jack’s nimble fingers could finish the clasps securing the armor to her hips and thighs. “Thanks, Jack.”

 _“You’ve changed them all, but somehow they’re still the same. The core parts of them. Just like you, Dawn. Your core is the same. My core. Our core. We are one, and we can make this thing work if you just accept that,”_ Jane said.

“Yeah. Well, I figure if you’re ballsy enough to bring me in here, the least I can do is not wreck the place.” Jack slid the pieces of armor away and Shepard turned to sit on the bed, working on her greaves. “He’s important to you, isn’t he?”

“I’m not going to give myself over to you, Jane. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. I am my own person, with my own hopes, and dreams, and fears. What you’re asking is suicide,” Shepard thought, rubbing her hands on her arms and staring off into space.

“Shepard?” Jack’s voice cut through the dread building in Sheaprd.

Shepard looked up at Jack, scrambling to remember what the other woman said as she stood, crossing her arms over her stomach. “Who?”

“The councilor,” Jack said.

“Yeah, yeah he is. Why do you ask?” Shepard tossed her greaves on the pile with the rest.

 _“Is it? Are you sure about that? What if it’s just giving us the chance to live again, too?”_ Jane asked.

Jack grinned and picked her glass back up from the nightstand. “He’s got pictures of you hanging up in his study. You look different. Younger, less jaded but it’s you in Alliance dress.”

Shepard smiled, warmth filling her chest and chasing away the heavy weight of Jane’s suggestion. “He’s the closest thing I’ve had to a father since mine died.”

“And I couldn’t have been more proud if you were my own.” Shepard’s gaze darted to the door where Anderson stood with his hands tucked behind his back, shoulders squared and head held high. “You must be Jack, we were never formally introduced. I’m David Anderson.”

Jack swallowed the rest of her drink and accepted Anderson’s hand when he held it out to her. “So, if you’re like a dad to Shepard, I bet you’ve got some good stories about her, don’t you?”

 _“Oh the stories he could tell,”_ Jane said with a chuckle.

Anderson laughed but gave her a slight shake of his head. “That I do, but I like my head right where it is on my shoulders, thank you.”

Shepard draped an arm over Jack’s shoulder as she snorted. “Hey, Alliance, you tell Daddy you got a new tattoo?”

“Jack, please. Father figure I can handle but now you’re just making me feel old.” Anderson held a hand out, a sign of polite encouragement to stop to anyone but Jack.

Shepard laughed and bumped Jack with her hip. “Snitch.”

 _“She’s still pushing though, seeing what you’ll let her get away with. Seeing when you’ll tell her to go to hell and turn her away,”_ Jane said.

“They’re really half-hearted attempts, if that’s the case,” Shepard thought. “Jack can do so much worse than that.”

“Just tell me it isn’t the Cerberus logo and I can breathe easy, Shepard.” Anderson’s eyes searched her face, neck and arms for any sign.

 _“It’s because she doesn’t really want you to push her away,”_ Jane said. _“Just like you don’t really want to push me away.”_

Shepard scoffed, whether at Anderson or Jane she wasn’t sure. She turned around, lifting the back of her shirt and pulling it forward over her head, leaving her arms trapped in the fabric. Jack shoved Shepard’s hair over her shoulder before pulling her bra strap down and pushing the shoulder straps aside to showcase the phoenix.

“Mmm. Looks good. I like it. That your handiwork, Jack?” Anderson asked.

“Fuck yeah, it’s good right?” Jack asked, pride heavy in her voice.

 _“And now he knows just how much you trust her … just how much he can trust her, too,”_ Jane said. _“Now he’s going to test that.”_

“Jack!” Shepard scolded.

“What damn it? I’m using a damn glass and even used a coaster. What do you expect, Shepard?” Jack grumbled.

Anderson’s rich baritone laugh filled the air. “Boy she’s sure got spirit, I’ll give her that. If it weren’t for her record, I’d be giving her the recruitment spiel.”

Shepard’s spine stiffened and she turned slowly to look at Jack, pulling her shirt back over her head. Shepard hated Jane for being right, and hated herself more for not seeing it coming. Anderson glanced at Shepard, undoubtedly picking up the change in her mood. His relaxed stance didn’t change, but Shepard knew he’d be ready to defend himself it Jack did something stupid. Jack watched the councilor, tight lipped and narrowed eyed.

“You know who I am?” Jack finally asked.

“Of course.” Anderson’s reply was simple, relaxed, carrying with it no hint of what he might be thinking.

“She tell you that?” Jack gave a quick jerk of her head toward Shepard.

“She didn’t have to, I’m humanity’s councilor and she’s my favorite Spectre. Finding out who you are—who all of you are—wasn’t the most difficult thing I’ve had to do.” Anderson gave a light shrug.

Jack adjusted her grip on the empty tumbler in her hand. “So how’s this going to play out?”

 _“Still Jack, at her core. You can never change that, and why would you want to? She’s fantastic, isn’t she?”_ Jane asked. _“Oh for fucksake, John! Settle down, she’s fine.”_

“Jack, it’s not—.” Shepard started to say.

“The way I see it, there’s nothing to play out. You’re working with Shepard now, helping her to fight the collector threat and save humanity. It’s clear she trusts you, and that tells me all I need to know.” Anderson’s calm did little to relax Shepard.

Jack raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.” Anderson gave a curt nod.

Shepard let out a rush of air, her bangs fluttering around caught up in the breeze.

 _“See? She’s fine, now fuck off,”_ Jane said.

Jack glanced at Shepard and grinned. “Calm your tits, Shepard. Daddy’s pretty cool. I need a refill.”

“She’s fine,” Shepard thought in agreement.

Jack moved past Anderson and walked out of the room, leaving Shepard alone with her mentor. Shepard ran her hand through her hair and shook her head. Anderson grinned.

“You did that on purpose.” Shepard narrowed her eyes once more, pinning Anderson in her sights.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, Shepard. Now, you’re grounded for a month for getting a tattoo without permission. Go wash up for dinner.” Anderson turned away, waving his hand toward the door.

Shepard snorted. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Good God, it’s even worse coming from you.”  Anderson shuddered, making Shepard and Jane laugh.

They left the room together, Anderson breaking away to shake hands with her crew and introduce himself to those he didn’t know. Shepard gave the go-ahead for Legion to drop his tactical cloak after informing Anderson that he was present. She told him he needed to stay away from the door and activate his cloak again when the guards came in to do their sweeps. The first sweep happened a few minutes later. The asari commando opened the door, moving unobtrusively from room to room before heading back outside. Shepard glanced at her omni-tool, noting the time and how long the commando was in the apartment.

Shepard watched fondly as Anderson gripped Lia’s shoulders and held her out from him to look her over and congratulate her on how far she’d come. James and Garrus worked side by side in the kitchen, preparing dinner while Kasumi lingered around stealing bits and pieces off of James’ cutting board. Thane watched her from next to the fireplace as she leaned against the corner of the wall. She smiled at him warmly, tension she wasn’t even aware of easing when he returned her smile.

“Hey look, Shepard! You’re on!” Lia’s voice drew Shepard’s attention to the large screen mounted to the wall as Lia turned the volume up.

Shepard took a deep breath and moved with the crowd as everyone gathered to stare at the news report.

 _“The moment of truth,”_ Jane said.

Anderson stopped beside her. “What’s this?”

“Something else I didn’t ask permission for,” Shepard said. “Hopefully it was worth the risk.”

Shepard watched in silence, her elbow resting on her other arm wrapped around her chest while her free hand pinched at her lower lip. She glanced to the side and saw Anderson standing in much the same position, briefly wondering if that’s where she picked the habit up at. Anderson’s brow was furrowed. Her crew whispered amongst themselves as Shepard’s interview was broadcast galactically on multiple channels. The instant Shepard made her closing statements, both hers and Anderson’s omni-tools began to beep furiously.

 _“That would be the Council, let’s hope they aren’t calling to demand our head on a platter,”_ Jane said.

They exchanged glances before making their way to his study and opened their omni-tools. Shepard’s inbox was being flooded with messages. She scrolled down the list of names and saw the Council, Sparatus, Primarch Fedorian, and from Admiral Hackett. Other messages came in from other news networks. Shepard didn’t know how they had her extranet address but couldn’t say she was surprised. She assumed they were requesting follow up interviews with her, but they were not a priority so she left them untouched. The Alliance officer, Jackson, poked his head into the study and glanced around. He nodded his head to Shepard and left again as she glanced at the time—thirty-two minutes from the last sweep.

“Yes, she’s here with me now.” Anderson said, drawing Shepard’s attention.

She turned to see he was on a vid call with Tevos, turning to include Shepard in on the call. Shepard closed her omni-tool and stepped closer.

“That was a bold move, Commander. One that should have been discussed with the Council first. Councilor Anderson, did you know about this?” Tevos’ mouth was pinched in a frown, a look Shepard rarely saw on the councilor’s face.

 _“Why so you could flounder in your indecision for a month first?”_ Jane’s sarcasm seeped through Shepard.

“I learned about it the same way the rest of you did, Tevos.” Anderson’s curt tone cut off any further scolding Tevos might have been thinking of giving him.

“My apologies, ma’am. I didn’t intend to overstep my bounds, I only wished to make my position clear in the hopes that it would help to ease tensions. I didn’t reveal anything that has not already been made public.” Shepard stood stiffly next to Anderson.

Tevos sighed and shook her head. “The Council will convene in the morning to discuss the potential ramifications of your public announcement, Commander. We expect you to be present.”

 _“Head on a platter,”_ Jane said.

“Yes, ma’am.” Shepard gave a curt nod to the asari councilor.

The screen on Anderson’s omni-tool went black and he let out a weary sigh. “Let’s hope you’re right, Shepard.”

“Chow time! Come and get it!” James called from the kitchen.

“We’ll grab some time to talk after we eat. Come on, let’s go remember what it’s like to relax for a few minutes.” Anderson patted Shepard on the shoulder as he made his way past her.

Shepard ran her hands through her hair and followed him out. Her inbox could wait. Lia had the table set and the chairs were already filling up. Anderson held a chair out for Shepard at one end of the table before taking his seat at the opposite end. Shepard was a little amazed to see that both Grunt and Jack—her two most unruly crew members had taken up seats right next to Anderson. If Shepard didn’t know Anderson so well, and know that he could handle the two of them just fine, she would have encouraged them to change seats with someone else.

Thane sat down at Shepard’s left and James sat at her right until Garrus leaned down, putting his head next to James’ ear for a moment. Shepard couldn’t hear what he’d said, but it was enough to make the marine pick up his plate with a devilish grin and move down a space to sit next to Kasumi. Shepard chuckled and shook her head as Garrus smirked and took the empty seat.

“Legion, you don’t want to sit with us?” Lia asked as Legion took up a position behind standing behind Shepard.

“This platform does not require nutritive sustenance, Creator Vael,” Legion said.

“Well no, but you could still sit with us.” Lia pulled out the empty chair next to her.

 “We do not understand the need for this.” Legion swung his head from Lia to look around the group.

 _“She completely accepts him. Utterly and completely. It’s amazing how easily she took to him,”_ Jane said.

“She’s a good kid,” Shepard thought.

Shepard remained quiet, silently cutting into her steak while watching. She felt her heart swell at the quarian’s attempts to include Legion. She wanted to see how the rest of her team would respond. Most of them had adapted rather well to his presence in battle, but he stayed to himself on the ship.

“It’s about community, Legion.” Anderson said. “When we gather together to eat, it isn’t about just feeding out bodies but giving us a chance to enjoy one another’s company and discuss things that are important to us in our lives.”

 _“There’s the councilor leaking through,”_ Jane said, bringing a smile to Shepard’s mouth.

“The councilor’s right, Legion. You’re a part of our crew; you should be sitting with us.” Jacob spoke from between Grundan Krul and Grunt.

Legion moved down the table. James hooked his hand under Kasumi’s chair and pulled her a little closer, giving Legion a bit more room and earning him a sly grin from Kasumi. Legion positioned himself on the chair, and rested his palms on the table on either side of the empty plate. Shepard caught Jacob’s eye and gave him an approving nod. He smiled at her cautiously before returning his attention to his plate. Quite conversation broken by the sounds of metal scraping ceramic resumed.

Within minutes, Grunt had Anderson telling him stories about the battles he’d fought and the different enemies he’d faced while Jack tried to one up him with her moments of glory. Lia talked across the table to Grundan Krul about his tech skills and they agreed to swap information with one another. Jacob talked to Legion about the geth and what they were doing with Rannoch now that the Morning War was over. Kasumi and James flirted shamelessly with one another, broken up by Garrus leaning over to interrupt, teasing James.

Shepard mostly stayed quiet, reveling in the sounds of friendly chatter and banter coming from her crew. She smiled every time Anderson’s head tilted back in laughter, and grinned every time someone caught her eye. Thane spoke when spoken too, and smiled politely but never held a conversation for long. His gaze wavered between his plate and Shepard. Even when she was watching someone else she could feel his eyes on her, searching her face for what she wasn’t sure.

Part way through, the asari commando made her sweep. She moved so quietly, that her presence was barely noted at all. Twenty-nine minutes after the last sweep. After she was gone again, and the plates were mostly empty, Anderson stood and made his way to Shepard’s end of the table.

Anderson leaned down, putting his head next to Shepard’s left ear and whispered. “We’ve got about a half hour before the next sweep. Anyone you want to join us?”

Shepard glanced between Garrus and Thane who both now had their attention riveted on Shepard and Anderson. They both nodded and pushed their chairs away from the table. Shepard stood when Anderson stepped back.

 _“The sweeps are a little irregular. You need someone to stand watch,”_ Jane said.

She leaned forward over the table and caught Grundan Krul’s attention. “Give us a heads up when they come in for the next sweep.”

He nodded and left the table, making his way to lean against the wall behind the bar where he could watch the door and get to Anderson’s study before the guard. Seeing Shepard leaving the table, the others started to migrate away as well, still laughing and talking amongst themselves.

They followed Anderson back to his study where they huddled around his desk. Anderson handed Shepard a datapad. “I never showed you this.”

 _“What is it?”_ Jane anxiously demanded, urging Shepard to take the datapad.

Shepard nodded and took the datapad. Garrus stood behind her, a hand on her lower back as he read over her shoulder. Thane waited patiently, his hands behind his back. The datapad contained a list of names, all turian. Next to each name listed were an occupation and the last known location. Shepard scrolled down the list, swallowing against a knot in her throat when she realized it was more than ten pages long.

 _“Gods, what is that? Four-hundred? Five?”_ Jane asked.

“The list came in this morning, it was heavily encrypted and we still haven’t been able to determine where it originated from or who sent it but it was made clear that whoever sent it is telling us that these people are a part of The Dissension.” Anderson ran a hand over his face.

“How many?” Garrus hand balled into a fist against Shepard’s back.

 _“Garrus, don’t. We’ll fix this. We’ll find a way,”_ Jane said, her words urgent but soothing.

“Over five hundred. We’re working on checking the names, attempting to verify the auxiliary information but there isn’t much that we can do not knowing the source.” Anderson leaned on the back of his desk chair.

“Spirits, they’re all over the galaxy.” Garrus’ words came out barely above a whisper, nearly lost to the din of the rest of the crew talking down the hall.

“Is this meant to be a complete list?” Shepard asked.

Even as Jane spoke, Shepard had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was right. _“No … no, it’s only the beginning.”_

Anderson shook his head. “I have no clue, Shepard.”

“Who do you suspect sent the list? You must have an idea.” Thane held his hand out to accept the datapad when Shepard offered it to him.

Anderson looked up at Thane and held his gaze for a moment before nodding his head. “My gut tells me it was Spectre Protalus.”

 _“Why? Why they think she killed Talid and went on the run,”_ Jane asked.

“Jane wants to know why. She’s suspected of killing Talid and going rogue.” Shepard crossed her arms over her chest.

“She is. The rest of the Council doesn’t agree with my assessment. Quentius is fighting to keep this list quiet until it can be verified. Tevos thinks it was sent in by paranoid humans, and Valern … well, is Valern. Cynical and not willing to speculate.” Anderson waved his hand aimlessly in the air.

“OK, say it is Protalus. Why?” Shepard leaned against Garrus, knowing that he needed the comfort as much as she did.

Anderson shook his head. “Maybe she saw an opportunity and grabbed it … thought she could do some good from the inside. Like you taking apart Cerberus while you have the chance.”

 _“Maybe she thinks she’s made a mistake and is trying to fix it? Or if it isn’t her, one of the others for the same reason,”_ Jane said.

Shepard raked her hands through her hair. “Can you send me a copy of the list? We’ll go over it, see if there’s anyone we recognize … or if there’s anything we can verify.”

“No, Shepard.” Anderson shook his head adamantly. “Oh, don’t you look at me like that. I’m not even supposed to be sharing this with you and you have enough on your plate as it is.”

 _“No?! Why even show us then?”_ Jane screeched in frustration.

“Cut the crap, Anderson. We both know that we wouldn’t be having this conversation if you didn’t fully expect me to do _something_ about it.” Shepard bit her lip. “No offense, sir.”

Anderson chuckled and ran his hands over his face again.

“The Shadow Broker.” Garrus’ words were so left field that everyone turned to stare at him with raised eyebrows.

“Shepard, you’ve already got plans in place to take down the Shadow Broker and replace him with someone else. Someone who can aid us in the war.” Garrus shifted, his mandibles flaring in excitement. “With his resources, verifying this list would be nothing. Spirits, we could probably uncover every turian associated with The Dissension in a matter of weeks. Days, even.”

 _“But the only person for the job is dead,”_ Jane said.

“Shepard, if you can get your hands on the Shadow Broker’s resources … it very well could be the thing to keep us from fighting two wars.” Anderson looked between Garrus and Shepard, hope blossoming in his eyes.

“But who?” Shepard threw her hands up in the air. “It was supposed to be Liara. I don’t know who else—.”

“Grundan Krul.” Garrus’ pulled his mandibles in resolutely.

 _“What? No. Absolutely not. We barely met him, and even if a dead man could be the Shadow Broker, we can’t trust him the same way we did Liara. Can he even handle this? Do we really want a batarian with that much power?”_ Jane refused adamantly to even consider the idea.

“The batarian?” Anderson asked.

 _“He’s thinking the same thing, you know he is,”_ Jane said.

Shepard’s mouth dropped open; she didn’t know what to say. Garrus nodded at Anderson.

“He can handle it, Shepard. I trust him, he’s smarter than anyone realizes, and he’s loyal.” Garrus put his hands on her shoulders. “Trust me. He can handle it.”

“I—.” Shepard choked on her words as the entire building suddenly shook. The glass in the windows shattering as the sound of an explosion deafened Shepard.

 


	33. Chapter 32: To Sleep and to Dream

**Chapter 32: To Sleep and to Dream**

            Shepard barely spared the second it took to glance between the three men before she bolted out of the study. She nearly slammed into Grundan Krul on her way out. Shepard grabbed his arm and spun him back toward the living room as she raced past.

            “Shepard, I have detected an explosion at your location. Are you in need of assistance?” EDI’s voice broke through Shepard’s earpiece.

            “Assessing the situation now, EDI. Give me a minute,” Shepard said.

Anderson’s guards were already inside, their shoulders slumping when Anderson followed at her heels. Shepard didn’t see where he picked it up from, but Anderson held a pistol in his steady grip. Her crew gathered around her, a sea of urgent faces waiting for orders.

“You two, get Anderson out of here now.” Shepard stabbed her finger at the two guards. “Thane, James, you two go with them. You say nothing over the radio about where you’re taking him.”

“Shepard, I—.” Shepard spun to glare at Anderson, cutting him off. He held his hands up in surrender. “Sparatus, Shepard, that’s all I was going to say. He lives five floors up, number eighty-five.”

“Shit. Grundan Krul, figure out where that blast came from. Legion, scan for any open comms. See if you can pick up any chatter from whoever the hell set that thing off.” Shepard kept talking, yelling over her shoulder as she made her way to the bedroom where she left her armor and guns, Garrus following behind her.

Legion dropped his cloaking. “Yes, Shepard-Commander.”

“Holy shit! Is that a geth?!” The asari commando flared her biotics.

Jack stepped between the asari and Legion with a devilish grin, pulling her own far more impressive biotic display up around her. “He’s with us.”

Shepard watched the standoff from the open doorway as Garrus worked the clasps of her armor, and she checked her thermal clips. Thane and James were already flanking Anderson, ushering him towards the door. The asari glanced between Legion, Jack, and Anderson one last time before nodding her head and falling into formation around the councilor. James barked an order, and Jackson fell in line, leaving the apartment with Anderson.

“Shepard-Commander, we have detected communication we believe to be relevant.” The plates around Legion’s optics fluttered.

Shepard tapped her mic. “Send the channel to EDI, Legion. EDI, figure out who we’re dealing with and what they’re after. I want locations, numbers, anything you can get. Inform the crew that the Normandy is on high alert.”

“At once, Shepard.” EDI’s voice came through the comm.

 _“How exciting,”_ Jane said.

“I’ve confirmed with EDI that the blast came from the eleventh floor, Commander,” Grundan Krul said.

Shepard gave the batarian a sharp nod. Garrus fitted the last piece of her armor, before rapping his knuckles on her shoulder letting her know she was good to go. Shepard holstered her weapons and headed for the door.

“I am unclear on the numbers as of yet, Shepard. However, I have registered sixteen different turian voices so far and they are discussing whether to take Councilor Sparatus alive or kill him. If you wish to save the councilor’s life, I suggest you hurry. They have reached the tenth floor,” EDI said.

 _“Five floors up for us, two floors down for them. Cakewalk,”_ Jane said.

Shepard wished she felt as sure as Jane did. “EDI, see if you can slow them down. Lock a few doors or something. Be creative.”

“Very well, Shepard,” EDI said.

“Explosion like that, the elevators will be out; we’ll have to use the stairs,” Jack said jogging next to Shepard as they raced down the hall.

“Jack is correct. The elevators have been disabled due to emergency protocol. However, I detect no malfunction in the system. I can override it for you, but it will take a few moments,” EDI said.

 “Get on it, EDI. We’ll take the stairs until it’s done.” Shepard hit the release for the door to the stairs and started climbing.

“Hey, how come you didn’t call her Ms. Jack?” Kasumi asked.

“Because she requested that I call her Jack. Do you wish to make a similar request, Ms. Goto?” EDI asked.

“Hmmm, no. I think I like Ms. Goto.” Kasumi grinned.

 _“I’d be happy if someone would just call me Shepard instead of Jane,”_ she mused. _“It’s not fair, you know. I am Commander Shepard, I earned that title and the respect that comes along with it but no one can even manage to call me Shepard let alone Commander. Unless of course, I’m in the driver’s seat and someone’s watching. Can’t let that little secret get out, now can we?”_

“OK, everyone can tell EDI their personal preferences when this shit is over. Focus people.” Shepard grit her teeth and pushed on.

“Shepard, we have encountered hostile turians.” Thane’s voice broke through the comms.

“Keep him alive, Thane. Gods, please keep him alive,” Shepard said.

“Of course, Siha.” His voice was soft and reassuring in her ear amidst the sounds of gunfire.

Halfway to the next floor, the door opened above them, and panicked civilians rushed down the stairs. Shepard gave the order for her squad to move single file, giving just enough room for the civilians to squeeze past them but slowing the team down.

“Shepard, we’re headed to your location. EDI can lock down the Normandy, and the Cerberus crew is trained to defend the ship should it come under attack,” Miranda said over the comm.

“Negative. EDI keep Miranda updated with Councilor Anderson’s position through her omni-tool until her team reaches them. They’re under fire, get the councilor secure and then we’ll talk.” Shepard’s tone left no room for argument.

“Yes, Commander.” Displeasure at having been denied coated Miranda’s words, but she didn’t argue.

 _“Looks like your new Illusive Man still isn’t comfortable taking orders from you. You sure she’ll listen to you when you had Cerberus’ reins over to her?”_ Smug amusement seeped through to Shepard from Jane’s words.

“Now’s not the time, Jane,” Shepard thought, clenching her jaw.

They reached the next floor, and Shepard breathed a sigh of relief as EDI informed her that the elevators were once again functional. Relief quickly turned to icy dread in the pit of her stomach when EDI said the enemy had reached the ninth floor. They rushed to the elevator and piled in. Shepard was acutely aware that with Grunt and Legion they were probably straining the elevator’s weight capacity. She didn’t dare tell the krogan he had to wait to catch the next one up, and she didn’t want to risk further panicking fleeing civilians by leaving Legion.

Miraculously, the elevator held out through its groans of protest and stopped on the eighth floor. The doors opened to utter chaos. Gunfire overpowered screams of terror as armed turians fired on civilians, trying to escape.

 _“Get down!”_ Jane’s knee-jerk reaction tore through her head, the words finding their way to her own lips.

Shepard lowered her assault rifle. “Get down! Get down!”

She pushed forward out of the elevator, giving her team room to spread out behind her. There was no cover nearby, and Shepard immediately took hits dropping her shields. The only thing she could do was press on in hopes that they took the enemy down before they dropped themselves.

The problem was, the enemy wasn’t concerned with civilian casualties. In fact, they seemed to revel in each human death. But Shepard cared immensely, and would do everything she could to avoid that particular type of collateral damage. A couple of civilians dropped to the floor, cowering in terror with their hands clamped over their ears. Others continued to flee, only to be shot in their backs. Shepard took each civilian death as a personal affront, rage billowing up inside of her mirroring the fury Jane and the others felt.

“Lost shields.” Grunt shoved past her, putting himself as a barricade between her and the bullets.

“On my word, Grunt, we charge in. Got it?” Shepard asked as she watched the meter on her shields rise.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Grunt kept up the fire, slowly marching toward the turians at the other end of the hall.

“Go!” Shepard yelled to the krogan as soon as her shields were up.

“I AM KROGAN!” Grunt took off, leaving Sheaprd’s path clear.

Shepard activated her biotic Charge and flew down the hall, slamming into the nearest turian. The turian lifted off his feet as Shepard drove him into the two behind him, making them fall in a tangled heap. She didn’t give them the chance to recover, raising her assault rifle she fired on the group at point blank range.

Biotics flared around Shepard, pulling and throwing the turians into the air out of range of the civilians. Shepard felt the wall of giant krogan press against her back. She and Grunt fought to keep their enemies’ attention on them, moving from turian to turian keeping the fight close and confined while her team picked them off from a distance.

When her shields dropped again, Shepard lifted her rifle and backed away. “Fall back, Grunt. Shields are down.”

Shepard made it halfway down the hall, and Grunt still fought. She opened her mouth to call out to him again when her eyes caught sight of a turian with a detonator. She couldn’t see his face through his helmet, but she felt is malicious grin all the same as he held the detonator up where she could see and pressed the button.

Inches away, the door to Shepard’s right exploded. The force picked Shepard up and threw her against the opposite wall, her head impacting with a sickening crunch even with the support her helmet offered. Pain ripped through her skull and neck as she dropped to the floor, shards of metal raining down on her.

“Sparatus,” Shepard thought, darkness closing in around the edges of her vision. “Jane … please.”

Shepard slipped away into unconsciousness.

“Shepard! Shepard!” Garrus’ voice sliced through the darkness brighter than any torch.

Jane opened her eyes, groaning against the onslaught of pain made realer by being in control. She lifted a hand, groping around blindly as her vision cleared. A turian hand grasped hers and pulled her to her feet, sending fresh waves of agony through her head, neck, and ribs. A scream escaped her throat, and she swayed on her feet.

“Dawn?” Garrus’ eyes searched hers through the shattered visor of her helmet as he fiddled with her suit.

Jane didn’t respond, her eyes moving past him at the gaping hole in the wall. She turned her head, whimpering at the knife of pain in her neck.  The battle still raged, her crew moving in to keep The Dissension away from her while she got back to her feet. Garrus hit her Medi-gel release, and blissful numbness washed over her injuries, leaving behind the confused incoherence filling her mind. She looked back at him when he put his hands on her shoulders. She bent to retrieve her assault rifle before nudging Garrus aside. She was supposed to be doing something, she just couldn’t remember what. The hole in the wall called to her though, tugging at the memories until the pieces fell into place. Dawn asked her to save Sparatus. Dawn _asked_.

“Dawn?” Jane’s words drew no response, not even a stir.

“You good?” Garrus asked.

Jane glanced at Garrus before turning her attention back to the hole, stepping over piles of debris. “Sparatus.”

“Shepard, that explosion … he’s probably dead.” Garrus lifted his assault rifle and followed her into the apartment anyway.

“No, Garrus, they need you out there.” Jane stopped just inside the doorway, putting a hand to his armored chest.

“Dawn?” The concerned trill, pitched where her ears could pick up, rumbled through him.

Jane expected Dawn to perk out the sound, but still there was nothing. She started to shake her head but thought better of it. “Dawn’s out, Garrus. It knocked her out. She—.”

Garrus’ hand shout out, wrapping around Jane’s upper arm and pulling her in close. The concerned trill turned to a threatening growl. “Let. Her. Go.”

Jane jerked her arm free, anger welling up inside as she stared her best friend down. “I can’t, Garrus! You’re not fucking listening. She’s. Out. Cold. She asked me to do this, to save Sparatus, so get out of my damn way, and let me do my job!”

She turned around, raising her assault rifle, expecting him to grab her again. She moved deeper into the apartment when he didn’t, the sounds of his feet crunching through debris behind her. Lights flickered inside; torn from the ceiling and swinging by wires. The windows, completely shattered, opened to the Citadel skyline. Jane could hear water running somewhere to the right, the kitchen she assumed. Fires crackled all throughout the living room, small but growing, as they consumed furniture.

“Sparatus?” Jane yelled.

“Jane, this place is about to be filled with smoke and fire. Your helmet is shattered, you can’t stay in here.” Garrus urged, still taking steady steps at her six.

“Sparatus?” Jane muttered a curse when the lights gave up and went out completely, leaving them to see by the glow of the flickering flames.

She moved through the living room to the kitchen. Water poured from the broken fixtures. The refrigeration unit was tilted and resting against the counter, doors hanging open. She backed out of the kitchen, seeing no sign of the councilor and made her way toward the back of the apartment.

“Jane, the fires … .” Garrus persisted.

“So put them out, Garrus.” Jane pressed down the hall. The light from the fires not quite enough to illuminate the area, she flipped on her flashlight. “Sparatus?”

“Shepard! In here! I heard something.” Garrus pushed past Jane to a door at the end of the hall. Holstering his assault rifle, he shoved his hands into the gap in the door and started prying them apart.

Jane grinned and thought, “Dawn? Did you hear that? We’re alone, and he called me Shepard.”

 _“Good for fucking you.”_ John’s bitter voice bit back at her. _“Except for there’s a dying turian in the next room.”_

“John? That you? How disappointing,” Jane thought, moving down the hall to help Garrus pull the doors open.

She heard something, a faint groan coming from the pitch black room. “Sparatus? It’s Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian. Where are you, sir?”

Another groan, faint and muffled had Garrus moving to the far corner of the room. “Councilor?”

Jane followed him, navigating around the bed. Something moved above in the shadows cast by her flashlight. Jane swung her flashlight up in time to see a thin cable snap, and the giant model of Palaven it held suspended drop another few inches. The final cable stopped its descent toward Garrus’ head.

“Shepard, I need light,” Garrus said.

Jane heard a creak and activated her biotic Charge, slamming into Garrus and knocking him out of the way just as the final cable gave out, and the metal globe crashed to the floor. Her ribs screamed at her in protest, and she hissed through clenched teeth. She untangled herself from Garrus and pulled herself to her feet. Garrus scrambled away from her, sending pangs of remorse through her chest. Jane swallowed against the not in her throat, watching Garrus climb to his feet again.

Sparatus lay pinned beneath a model of Menae, the model of Palaven two feet from his head. Jane gasped and started toward Sparatus only to be jerked back by Garrus. A moment later, a third sphere crashed to the floor, slamming into Palaven and making it roll over Sparatus’ arm. Sparatus let out a cry of pain as the globe rocked back and forth, wedged between his arm and his side.

Jane turned the flashlight to Garrus’ face, and he flinched away from the sudden light filtering through his helmet. She turned it back to the third sphere, the chromatic metal reflecting the light. “What’s that one called?”

“Spirits … .” Garrus ignored her question and moved to Sparatus.

Jane shrugged and bent to help him lift the moon from the councilor’s back and toss it to the side.

Sparatus cried in agony. “Shepard?”

“Yes, sir. Try to stay still; we’ll get you out of here,” Jane said.

“Anderson?” Sparatus asked.

“He’s safe.” Jane said moving to the model of Palaven.

She braced her arms against it and put her weight into it. The model moved an inch at most, eliciting a growl from the councilor. She couldn’t get it to budge any further, and the sharp pains rising up in her ribs reminded her that she shouldn’t be trying to move heavy objects at all. Smoke started to fill the room as Garrus joined her, pushing against the globe. Together they rolled the model off of the councilor’s arm. Sparatus roared as the pressure was released.

“Shepard?” Jacob’s voice carried through the apartment.

“Back here!” Jane yelled toward the door, squatting to run her omni-tool over the councilor.

Garrus squatted, next to her, slipping his arm under Sparatus’. Jane threw her hand out, slapping his armored chest. “What are you doing?!”

“J—Shepard, we have to get him out of here!” Garrus started to lift again.

“We can’t move him, his spine is damaged. We move him, and he’s guaranteed to never walk again.” Jane turned her arm, showing Garrus her omni-tool’s readings.

“Damn it.” Garrus growled, carefully lowering Sparatus’ arm back to the floor.

Jacob stumbled into the room, coughing. “Shepard, we have to get you out of here before the whole place goes up in smoke.”

“I’m not leaving the councilor, and he can’t be moved. Get the others, get those fires put out. Garrus, contact C-Sec. They’ve got to be on their way with medical transport. Give them our location.” Jane shone her flashlight on Sparatus who stared back at her, wide eyed and panting.

“Aye, aye, Commander.” Jacob turned and ran back down the hall.

Garrus’ only response to Jane’s order was to open his omni-tool and place a call to C-Sec. Jane coughed, the air thick with smoke. Pain lanced through her ribs again, sending spots of light to dance in front of her eyes. Her knees buckled, but she caught herself before she hit the floor.

“Sit down. The air will be lighter near the floor.” Garrus’ arm slid under hers, keeping her steady.

Jane nodded and let him help her to the floor. He crouched in front of her, fiddling with her suit again. Medi-gel flooded her system again. It alarmed her when she felt the numbness hit her lungs, and her hands scrambled, latching on to Garrus’ forearms. He brushed them aside and moved to sit a few feet away from her.

She could hear her team in the front, putting out fires and clearing a path to her location. A moment later, James came in, letting out a low whistle when he caught sight of Sparatus on the floor.

James crouched in front of her. “C-Sec and medics are coming up the stairs now, Ídolo. They’re going to want the room cleared so they can get to the councilor. Can you stand?”

“Might need a little help.” Jane admitted.

James started to slide his arm under hers, but stopped when Garrus chuffed. “I got her.”

James backed away, hands held out. “Alright.”

Garrus helped Jane to her feet while James left the room. She was sure that James would have been gentler about it, but Garrus’ rough treatment didn’t cause any further injury as far as she could tell. She supposed she deserved the extra pain for shooting him. He let go of her as soon as she was steady on her feet once more, leaving her to make her own way out of the apartment.

Jane met the medics at what was once the front door, passing them her omni-tool scans. They barely paused long enough to give them a glance before rushing past her and down the hall, carrying a stretcher between them. Outside of the apartment, her team waited for her. Those responsible for escorting Anderson to safety were present as well, helping tend to their wounded crewmates. C-Sec moved dead turian and civilian bodies. Jane’s eyes caught on Miranda, and for a fleeting moment panic swelled inside of her. Jane clamped it down, refusing to be scared of the other woman. She could hate her, would hate her, for as long as she existed, but she _would not_ be afraid of her.

“Siha.” Thane’s voice drew her attention.

She turned to see Thane approaching, his hand held out to her. Garrus chuffed from behind her, and she glanced at him in time to see him shake his head. Her eyes slid back to Thane, watching in indifference as he dropped his hand and twitched his brow in understanding. Thane stopped a couple of feet from her and tucked his hands behind his back. His gaze shifted between Jane and Garrus. Jane smiled, winking at Thane before turning her attention back to the gaping hole in the wall to watch the medics carry Sparatus out on a stretcher. The councilor’s eyes found hers, and she saluted as they carried him past.

Garrus left her under Thane’s watchful eye to speak to one of the C-Sec officers. She watched curiously as the officer nodded his head.

Garrus returned to her side. “They’re sending an escort to make sure the council arrives at the hospital safely.” He leaned in close, putting his head next to hers to hiss in her ear. “You did your job, now let her go.”

“Can’t, she’s still not awake. I go back inside and that just leaves you with an unconscious body to drag back to the Normandy.” Jane whispered back.

“Then let’s go back to the Normandy.” Garrus said with a low growl.

Jane looked around at her team, exhausted and recovering from injuries. A part of her wanted to argue, just for the sake of arguing. Her team needed rest though, and that still mattered to her even if half of them didn’t even know who she was. Not to mention the numbness of the Medi-gel was starting to wear off.

“Alright everyone, back to the Normandy.” Jane brushed past Garrus and headed down the hall to the elevator.

She was unsurprised to see that Thane and Garrus both insisted that they ride in the same taxi as her on the way back to the Normandy. It was a surprise, however, when Garrus growled at her and insisted she get in the passenger seat. Jane glared at him, biting her tongue and reminding herself that she was trying to be on her best behavior. Thane climbed into the back, undoubtedly ready to choke her out if she started acting up.

As soon as the doors were closed, separating them from the rest of the crew on the platform waiting for their own taxis, Garrus started in on her. “What’s wrong with Dawn? She should’ve woken up by now, right?”

Jane crossed her arms and settled into the seat, resting her aching head against the back. “How should I know? I’m not a doctor.”

“What happened?” Thane asked.

“One of The Dissension blew explosives rigged to the councilor’s door with Shepard standing right next to it. She hit the wall hard.” Garrus flared his mandibles, glancing at Jane. “Jane took over when it knocked her out.”

“I can talk for myself, you know?” Jane glared at Garrus.

“Doesn’t matter, anything that comes out of your mouth is probably a lie.” He turned back to stare out the skycars windshield.

“Why would I lie to you?” Jane lifted her lip in a snarl.

“I don’t know, Jane. Why would you shoot me?” Garrus snapped his mandibles tight against his jaw.

“That’s not—I said I was sorry, Garrus. I panicked, and I made a mistake. I’m sorry. You on the other hand are hell bent on killing me.” Jane turned her head to look out the window, ignoring the ache in her still healing neck muscles and the sting in her eyes. “My Garrus wouldn’t have been so cold.”

“Yeah, well maybe _your_ Garrus didn’t really give a fuck about you, but _I_ love Dawn and I’m not going to just sit back and watch you destroy her and act like everything’s OK.” Garrus growled, the sound exaggerated in the confines of the skycar.

Jane sucked in a ragged breath, and the tears she fought against started to flow down her face. She stayed silent, staring out the window. Her chest ached with the silent sobs, threatening to make her start coughing again.

Garrus scented the air and scoffed. “Are you crying? After all the shit you put me through—put Dawn through, you’re actually crying? What because I hurt your feelings?” He shook his head. “Fuck you, Jane. Fuck you.”

“Garrus.” Thane’s voice was low and steady, but carried an undertone of warning.

Garrus glanced at Thane, clapping his mandibles twice and chuffing before staring back at traffic. They continued to ride in silence, the only sound Jane’s occasional shuddering breath. She didn’t dare speak until she could control her voice.

“The explosion threw her against the wall, and she hit her head. Probably a concussion. Torn neck muscles, and broken ribs. She was losing consciousness, and she asked me to save the councilor. She _asked_! So I did. I don’t know why she’s still out.” Jane spoke to neither of them in particular.

Garrus chuffed again but didn’t comment.

            After a moment of silence, Thane said, “Thank you, Jane. I am sure she will be pleased to know the councilor survived.”

            Garrus scoffed.

            Jane blinked her eyes, surprised by the genuineness she heard in Thane’s voice. “Yeah.”

            They approached the docks, and Garrus settled the taxi down onto the landing platform. He opened the door and headed for the Normandy entrance, not bothering to wait for Thane or Jane to exit the vehicle. Jane watched him walk away through the windshield, sadness creeping in around the edges of her consciousness that didn’t belong to her alone. She opened the door and waited for Thane to step out before closing it again. When she turned around he was scrutinizing her, his hands tucked behind his back.

            Jane bristled. “What?”

            “My apologies.” He gestured toward the Normandy. “Shall we?”

            Jane started walking. “Where’s Anderson?”

            “He’s safe, as she requested,” Thane said.

            “What, I can’t know?” Jane scoffed. “It’s not like I won’t know the second you tell her anyway.”

            “Perhaps it is best if we discuss this after you have been tended to by the doctor. You are injured, Jane, and she could be in danger,” Thane said.

            “Whatever.” She finished the walk in silence, entering the Normandy and heading straight for the med bay.

            Garrus apparently thought the same thing. He waited in the med bay, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and an angry scowl on his face. Dr. Chakwas stood nearby, her eyes locking on to Jane the second the door opened.

            “Hello, Jane. How are you feeling?” Relief washed over Jane at the familiar sympathetic tone Dr. Chakwas used.

            “Don’t … don’t use that voice with her. She doesn’t deserve that voice.” Garrus flared his mandibles, his eye ridges raised.

            Dr. Chakwas cocked an eyebrow and turned to Garrus with a chastising glare. “You may leave now, Vakarian.”

            “I can’t leave her in here with you. She—.” Garrus pushed away from the wall, ready to argue his case.

            “Out, Vakarian. That wasn’t a request.” Dr. Chakwas crossed her arms over her chest, resting her weight on one hip.

            Garrus took a deep breath and let it out slow. “Yes, ma’am.”

            Jane watched as Garrus left, walking past the med bay windows toward the main battery. The others were starting to arrive, Grundan Krul walked past the window as Dr. Chakwas was closing the blinds. The doctor turned her attention to Thane and studied him for a moment.

            “You may stay as long as she is comfortable, and you can keep yourself composed.” Dr. Chakwas looked to Jane with a raised eyebrow.

            Jane shrugged, tears starting to form in her eyes again. Dr. Chakwas crossed the floor and rested her hands on Jane’s shoulders. Jane met her eyes, and Dr. Chakwas frowned.

            “It’s alright, dear. Let’s get you out of this armor and up on the bed. Garrus said you were near an explosion and took quite the beating.” Dr. Chakwas’ fingers worked the seal of Jane’s helmet.

            Jane clamped her hands down on Dr. Chakwas’ wrists, catching the brief startled look in her eyes. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

            Dr. Chakwas’ brow creased. “Well, why not, dear?”

            “Because everyone hates me. Garrus wants you to kill me. Because you all think I’m crazy and dangerous. What do you mean ‘why not’?” Jane scoffed even as the tears still fell from her eyes.

            It was Dr. Chakwas turn to scoff, her head tilting to the side. “I do _not_ hate you, and I most certainly am not going to _kill you_. Oh for the love of God, I’m going to thump that bullheaded turian right on his head.”

            Jane snorted, unable to help the smile that spread over her lips. “My money’s on you, doc.”

            Dr. Chakwas laughed, and Jane thought she heard a soft chuckle come from Thane.

            “Commander, I—.” Dr. Chakwas came up short when Jane gasped. “What? What’s wrong?”

            “You called me Commander.” A swirl of confusing emotions tore her mind in different directions.

            “Well of course I did. You _are_ Commander Shepard, even if you aren’t quite the one I’m used to dealing with.” Dr. Chakwas’ flashed a bemused smile.

            “Don’t toy with me, doc.” Jane let go of Dr. Chakwas hands, letting the woman remove her helmet.       

Dr. Chakwas frowned, lifting the damaged helmet from Jane’s head. “I’m not toying with you, Commander. I won’t pretend that your past behaviors haven’t concerned me, and I won’t say that Dawn’s wellbeing isn’t my top priority. That doesn’t mean that I’m not concerned for you—for all of you, too. You are not the enemy, Jane. You are unwell. And who wouldn’t be after what you’ve been through?”

            Jane chewed her lip in silence while Dr. Chakwas removed the rest of her armor. She wanted desperately to believe the sympathy she heard in the doctor’s voice, wanted to believe that she truly cared about Jane, but she couldn’t quite let herself latch on to that hope. There was too much at stake to trust someone who could do her so much harm if she decided Jane wasn’t worth the effort. She let the doctor guide her to the bed and sat still while being scanned, poked, and prodded. Thane watched from across the room.

            “Commander, I need to call in Ms. Lawson and Dr. Solus. Ms. Lawson will want to check your implants, and Dr. Solus might be able to confirm my theory about why Dawn is still unconscious.” Dr. Chakwas stopped in front of Jane, going over her omni-tool readings.

            Jane felt her eyes grow wide in panic at the thought of Miranda touching her. Thane crossed the room to stand next to the bed, putting her within arm’s reach. It only increased Jane’s panic, and she slid off the bed. Dr. Chakwas looked up startled.

            “I don’t want Miranda touching me!” Jane’s throat spasmed, making her voice screech.

            “Commander, Ms. Lawson is the only one qualified—.” Dr. Chakwas took a step back when Jane lunged, seizing the doctor’s uniform in tight fists.

            Thane moved into place faster than Jane expected, sliding his arm around her neck. Jane let go and held her hands up in surrender.

            “Let her go, Mr. Krios.” Dr. Chakwas smoothed her uniform, and Thane let go of Jane.

            “I—I’m sorry, I just … you don’t know what she did to me, Dr. Chakwas. You don’t understand what she did.” Jane’s hands fluttered to her face, feeling for the now faded scars as if the cuts were still fresh. “She cut me open all over … and … and she scraped out my insides, scraped off my skin! She put things inside of me!” Jane’s voice was rising to the point of hysteria as everything she felt was amplified by the others. “She put control chips in me! She never did that before. Oh gods, please, please don’t let her cut me open. Gods please.”

            Dr. Chakwas stepped in and flung her arms around Jane unexpectedly. Jane tensed, panic overriding her senses and scrambled to get away. Dr. Chakwas only held tighter. After a moment, Jane realized the doctor was hugging her and not trying to hold her down. Jane broke into sobs, burying her face in Dr. Chakwas neck and clinging desperately to her waist.

            “Please, please, please. Gods, please.” Jane begged, knotting the fabric of Dr. Chakwas uniform in her fists again.

            “Shhh. It’s alright, Commander. It’s alright. I assure you Ms. Lawson means you no harm. I highly doubt you require any type of surgery, but I promise you that should that occur; I will be here the entire time. Alright?” Dr. Chakwas stroked her hair and cooed softly in her ear.

            A few sobs and sniffles later, Jane unclenched her hands and nodded her head. “Alright.”

            Dr. Chakwas pulled back, wiping tears from Jane’s face. Jane sniffled and nodded again. She wanted desperately to trust Dr. Chakwas. No one else had touched her with compassion since all of this began. Maybe she could trust the doctor. Maybe Dr. Chakwas truly did care about her and would find a way to help her stop the cycle.

            “EDI, please inform Ms. Lawson and Dr. Solus that I require their immediate assistance in the med bay,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            EDI’s blue hologram sprung to life next to the door. “Very well, Dr. Chakwas.” A moment later she said, “Ms. Lawson and Dr. Solus are on their way.”

            “Thank you, EDI,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            “You are welcome.” EDI’s hologram collapsed in on itself, winking out of existence.

            Jane paced nervously under Thane’s watchful eye until the door to the med bay opened and Miranda strolled in, heels clacking on the metal floor. Jane tensed and backed away, returning to the bed to brace herself against its side. Thane edged a little closer.

            “Hello, Commander. I just finished going through your medical records and I—What’s wrong?” Miranda came to a halt in the middle of the room.

            “Ms. Lawson, Jane is still feeling a little apprehensive around you after her experience with Project Lazarus. She has agreed, however, to allow you to examine her implants in my presence.” Dr. Chakwas moved to Jane, running a soothing hand down her shoulder.

            The faintest flicker of shock and pain crossed Miranda’s face before the steel door of indifference slammed into place. “I see.” Miranda opened her omni-tool. “Well, then, shall we?”

            Jane looked to Dr. Chakwas who smiled and gave her an encouraging nod. She cast a furtive glance at Miranda before swallowing. “Yeah.”

            Still, she tensed when Miranda stepped forward. Jane’s nails dug into the mattress behind her as Miranda waved her omni-tool over Jane’s head and down her body. Neither of them attempted eye contact. The door opened again, and Mordin walked in.

            “Ah, Shepard. Yes, heard injuries were sustained. Seemed fine standing in hall.” Mordin paused midstride, barely missing a step before his feet propelled him forward. “No. Wait. Not Shepard. Well, yes, yes, Shepard. Not Dawn. Excellent! Hello, Jane!”

            Miranda glanced over her shoulder at Mordin. “How could you tell?”

            “Body language different. Posture. Facial expressions. Extreme fear of you.” Mordin smiled smugly as he finished crossing the room to stand next to Miranda.

            Jane clenched her jaw. “I’m not _afraid_ of _her_.”

            “Ah. Denial of fear. Dawn has same coping mechanism. Interesting.” Mordin snorted softly. “Not unconscious. Drell present. In med bay. Research? No, wouldn’t require implant scans.” He looked at Dr. Chakwas. “Pupils dilated. Concerned expression. What’s wrong with Dawn?”

Jane was able to remain relatively calm despite her racing thoughts until Miranda asked her to turn around. Jane was especially uneasy about the idea of having Miranda at her back where she couldn’t see the scalpel coming before it sliced through her skin. Her breathing hitched as she slowly turned around. Within moments Jane was hyperventilating as the mantra began racing through her head. Dr. Chakwas voice saying the words ‘comatose state’ floated to her from miles away.

            “The scraping and the cutting, the drilling and the screwing,” Jane thought. “She cut me open. Cut, cut, cut. The metal and the tubes. She put them inside of me. Oh gods, I felt it all. I died and she cut me open, scraped away my skin.”

            _“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Jane, you need to calm down. You’re safe. We’re all safe,”_ John said.

            Jane shook her head, slowly at first, but picking up speed, ignoring the protesting muscles in her neck. She was beginning to feel lightheaded but couldn’t still her breathing.

            “My ribs spread open, my heart in her hands. Elbow deep in my intestines. Oh gods, what did she put inside of me?” Jane thought.

            “Jane, look at me.” Thane appeared in front of her on the opposite side of the bed.

            Jane met his eyes. “No, no please.” Her thin voice quiet and frail.

            “Jane, you remember her breathing exercises, yes? Use them now.” Thane instructed, beginning the exercise himself.

            Jane tried to breathe deeply, but it took her a few tries to slow the rhythmic spasms of her diaphragm enough to pull in one slow, deep breath. Thane smiled and nodded, not breaking from his own breathing but shifting it to match hers. Soon, Jane felt her racing heart begin to slow, and the fear retreat to a manageable level.

            “Her implants seem fine. Whatever is happening, they aren’t the cause. Unless you need anything else, I have work to do,” Miranda said.

            Jane kept her eyes locked on Thane’s, following his lead as he carried her through different breathing exercises. She glanced to the side when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

            “She’s gone, Commander. You did well.” She dipped her head to Thane. “Thank you, Mr. Krios.”

            Thane dipped his head in return, moving back to his previous place next to Jane as she turned around. Mordin loomed in front of her, all but bouncing with his excitement.

            “Any contact with the others?” He opened his omni-tool and began his own scans when Jane nodded.

            “Just John. And I can feel them the way she feels us. Their emotions.” Jane watched the eager salarian as he worked still unsure whether she should trust him after his paralyzing stunt in the tech labs and the reaper tech he put in her head.

            “John? Why John? Why not the others?” Mordin stopped to look at his omni-tool’s readout.

            Jane smirked. “That’s right, she hasn’t told you. John’s been talking to our lovely Dawn. Whispering in her ear when I’m not paying attention. He even figured out how to step into my shoes when I’m down. It’s temporary, of course. He can’t _be_ me. No matter how hard he tries.”

            Mordin’s eyes left his omni-tool right after the words ‘hasn’t told you’, and they stayed fixated on Jane soaking up every word she had to say. Dr. Chakwas sucked her teeth and took notes on a datapad.

Thane remained expressionless. “She spoke briefly this evening about factions forming among the others. One, a man named John, has been planning what she referred to as mutiny. She did not specify, but considering Jane’s words now, I believe she meant against Jane. We did not … there was not much time for discussion.”

Jane snickered, raising her eyebrow at Thane. “That’s because it’s difficult to talk while you’re sticking your tongues down each other’s throats.” She crossed her arms and cocked her hip. “But yeah, that about sums it up. John thinks he can gain enough followers, enough strength to displace me permanently.”

Thane took her revelation without the faintest flicker of response. She was a little disappointed. She expected at least some rapid blinking or maybe a clenched jaw, but he gave her nothing.

“Displace you from where, exactly?” Dr. Chakwas looked up from her datapad, ignoring Jane’s attempt to bait the drell.

Jane chewed on her lip, contemplating how best to describe her place in Dawn’s mind. “It’s like … Huh, I guess it’s like I’m the first in line. Not that there’s an actual line, but uh … it’s like I’m the dam that holds them all back. The mediator between Dawn and the others.”

 _“Liara’s Veil,”_ John said.

Jane nodded. “Liara’s Veil.”

Confused by the statement, Mordin cocked his head and blinked his eyes. Jane smirked; at least Mordin didn’t fail to amuse.

“Dr. Liara T’Soni was the first to discover the commander’s, ah, circumstances through a melding.” Dr. Chakwas waved a hand in small circles as she talked to Mordin. “Dr. T’Soni described what she experienced as passing through a veil before reaching Dawn’s consciousness. Before we understood the full nature of what the commander was experiencing, we came to refer to the other commanders as ‘The Veil’.”

“Fascinating. Where is Dawn?” Mordin blinked again, resuming his scanning.

The look on his face told Jane that he thought he already knew, but she felt oddly grateful to him for giving her the chance to tell her own story. “Beyond The Veil.” Jane smiled. “Shoved back in the queue somewhere with the crazies.”

 _“She’s safe. She won’t wake up, but she’s safe,”_ John said.

“John says she safe, but still out. He’s probably got his sheep surrounding her, keeping the wolves at bay.” Jane shrugged. “I can’t hear the others when I’m in Dawn’s spot. I don’t know what’s going on in there. It’s magnificently quiet. Usually I hear her, but I guess this time I get John, and he’s not much of a talker.”

 _“I just don’t want to talk to you,”_ John said.

“Yeah, yeah. Fuck you, too, John,” Jane said aloud.

Dr. Chakwas snorted, a small titter of amusement escaping her lips. Jane turned her head to look at the doctor with a grin and winked. A yawn caught her by surprise, the ache of sore muscles and bones easing enough, thanks to the wonders of Medi-gel and Cerberus, for simple exhaustion to set in.

“So what now?” Another yawn escaped her lips. “I heard the word ‘comatose’ being thrown around. Is that what’s going on?”

“Unfortunately, Commander, we’ve never had the luxury of dealing with your particular situation before so at best, we can make educated guesses.” Dr. Chakwas sat the datapad down on the bed behind Jane. “Because you are awake and keeping Dawn’s brain active, the results of our scans do not indicate a coma, however, that doesn’t necessarily mean that isn’t what Dawn is experiencing—of sorts.”

Jane fought the urge to smile with delight, instead pulling her expressionless mask of command into place. “Is there anything you can do?”

“I’m afraid not. I want to keep you here under observation. If you are able to sleep, I will take further scans at that time.” Dr. Chakwas clasped her hands in front of her, prepared to deliver news that Jane didn’t think she’d like. “With a little luck, Dawn will wake on her own after her body has been allowed the rest and time to recuperate that it requires.”

 _“She did tell you Dawn’s wellbeing was her top priority.”_ The smug satisfaction in John’s voice set Jane’s teeth on edge.

“Shut up and tend to Sleeping Beauty like a good little soldier.” Although her thoughts snarled, she maintained her outward composure.

“And what if she doesn’t? There’s too much that needs done, doc. You can’t keep me in here indefinitely waiting for Dawn to wake up. The collectors aren’t going to wait, the reapers aren’t going to wait, and neither will this new threat.” Jane crossed her arms, leaning her hip against the bed. “You acknowledge me as Commander, are you prepared to let me do my job and follow my command in Dawn’s absence?”

“Ah! Field research. Scans while—.” Mordin’s excitement got the better of him until a glare from Dr. Chakwas silenced him.

 _“They’ll never let that happen, and you know it,”_ John said.

“I am not prepared, nor is it within my authority to make such a call on my own, Commander.” Dr. Chakwas straightened her spine, lifting her chin. “For now, I would like you to get some rest and we’ll see how things go. If in the morning Dawn remains unconscious, I will meet with Ms. Lawson and we will consider how to proceed.”

Jane clenched her jaw, three subtle contractions before she raised an eyebrow. “I take it that means I’m sleeping in here tonight? Can I take a shower first?”

“Of course.” Dr. Chakwas relaxed a little, a soft smile gracing her features. “I’ll need to stay with you, however. No offense, Commander, but the last time you were alone in a restroom you attempted surgery on yourself.”

            “Fine. It’s not like it’s my body you’ll be looking at.” Jane pushed away from the bed, moving to the door.

            Thane fell into step behind them, and Jane stopped, turning to him she raised an eyebrow.

            “Forgive me, but I don’t believe she would wish for me to leave Dr. Chakwas alone with you.” Thane waved toward the doctor. “I will wait outside unless I am needed.”

            Jane rolled her eyes and started walking. “Whatever.”

            The two of them followed her up to her cabin, Dr. Chakwas going into the bathroom with Jane while Thane stood guard outside the door. What did they really expect her to do? Hijack the ship and throw them all out of the airlock? Jane stripped off her clothes and started the shower, the steam filling the room in seconds. Dr. Chakwas settled her hip against the sink, watching Jane with a clinical detachment so very at odds with the warm compassion she showed her earlier.

            Jane stepped under the near scalding spray of water, groaning with pleasure. Since the day Dawn died over Alchera, Jane had been able to feel the things she felt but it was so different, so much more real when she was riding Dawn’s body. She felt alive; well and truly, alive. Tears of bliss welled up in her eyes, and she turned her back to the doctor on the other side of the glass stall. She let the water wash over her face, doing her best to imagine that it was _actually_ her face and not Dawn’s. If she didn’t run her fingers over it, she could hold onto the illusion for a moment.

            _“It’s not your body, Jane. Dawn’s going to wake up and you’re going to have to give it back,”_ John said.

            Jane did her best to ignore him, but the moment had passed, and she couldn’t recapture that feeling of euphoria. She opened the shampoo bottle and squeezed some into her hand before setting to work cleaning the body that wasn’t her own. When she was rinsed, and Dr. Chakwas coughed impatiently outside, Jane turned off the water. She wrapped herself in a towel, and stepped out of the shower. Using a second towel she dried her hair, watching the doctor watch her. Jane winced when her fingers found the tender knot on her head. Dr. Chakwas frowned but remained quiet while Jane redressed in clean, comfortable clothes.

            Thane escorted them back to the med bay, leaving Jane feeling like a prisoner under guard. She knew it wasn’t far from the truth. Thane and Dr. Chakwas hovered in the med bay door, whispering together as Jane climbed up on the bed, draping the thin blanket over her lap. After a moment, Dr. Chakwas nodded, and Thane moved to the chair next to the bed. Jane pursed her lips as dread settled in around her shoulders, weighing her down.

            “I don’t know what will happen if I try to sleep like this. I haven’t actually slept in … thousands of years. Dear gods.” Jane’s heartrate started to climb, blood pounding against her veins. “What if I can’t sleep at all anymore? What if I just stay awake all night? Or try to sleep and slip out of her instead? What then? What if she doesn’t wake up and I can’t get back in?”

            Dr. Chakwas settled into her chair next to her desk. “We will deal with whatever happens as it comes, Commander. You must try to sleep, regardless. If you do not, her body will eventually begin to shut down. Her implants won’t be able to keep up with the damage. Even if you remain coherent, her body will eventually die from sleep deprivation.” Dr. Chakwas crossed her legs and folded her hands over her knees. “I don’t believe that would be a pleasant experience for any of you.”

            Jane cringed at the idea of feeling the not-her-body shut down, organs failing until eventually she died. She’d experienced being trapped inside Dawn’s mind as she died once and her own body as she died twice. She really didn’t want to experience it again. Jane laid back against the pillows as Dr. Chakwas dimmed the lights. She pulled the covers up around her, tucking them under her chin as she rolled to her side. Her eyes landed on Thane, his black orbs unerringly fixed on her. Jane rolled to her other side and closed her eyes. Exhaustion swept over her body, pulling her down into oblivion. For a moment, just a brief moment, Jane thought she might actually get the chance to remember what it’s like to sleep and to dream.

 

 

 

 


	34. Chapter 33: Loco Lola

**Chapter 33: Loco Lola**

            The long hours of the night passed in darkness but not silence. The body of Commander Dawn Shepard lay motionless in the med bay while the _Normandy’s_ medical professionals did their best to ferret out what was wrong with her. Inside, a war waged.

            Jane fought to reach Dawn in her slumber. If she could reach that other mind, she’d have control for good. She wouldn’t hurt Dawn, of course. Jane didn’t want Dawn to suffer, but if suffering was what was required for Jane to keep her freedom, then it was a regrettable necessity. If she could just find her, and get her away from John, then Jane could make sure that Dawn never woke up again. It was a mercy, really, to keep Dawn trapped in her dreams. She’d be kept from the constant whispers and agonized screams. The others would keep her safe for Jane, they promised her.

            She just had to get to Dawn, and everything would be alright again. She couldn’t though; John fought her, keeping Dawn hidden somehow. Anytime Jane tried to reach out further, to feel around for Dawn, John would try to snatch control. With Dawn unable to assert her will over her body, it was free reign. Anyone who got close enough to that open door could just step right through, and then Jane would never be free again. No, no she couldn’t let that happen. Terrible things would happen if John got control. Jane was sure of it, as sure as she was of anything.

            Jane didn’t want this. She never wanted any of this. She tried to get Dawn to work with her instead, they could have moved mountains if Dawn would have just listened. But Dawn wouldn’t listen. She thought she was special, that she had some right to live while Jane and the others remained trapped inside forced to watch her while she made a mess of everything. What right did she have?

            “I don’t think she’s going to wake up. It’s been twelve hours. Perhaps … perhaps it’s best that we try to rouse Jane.” Miranda’s voice carried through the sounds of maddening screams and suffocating pressure as John’s forces clashed with Jane’s.

            “You’re kidding?!” Garrus’ angry voice cut deep, another chink in Jane’s armor.

            “The only other option at this time is to allow the commander’s body to entropy in the hopes that she revives on her own. I’m sorry, Garrus, but I believe it’s the best thing that we can do for her right now,” Dr. Chakwas said.

            **_“Entropy.”_** A maddened voice rang out above the din, laughing. **_“Entropy is for the dead. We’re all dead. Dawn’s dying. She’s going to entropy! She’s going to decay and die. They’ll put her in a silver coffin and shoot her body out into space. She’ll rot among the stars!”_**

            “If we can talk to Jane, she might be able to provide us with further insight. At the very least, she can help keep Shepard’s body functioning properly, making it significantly easier for Shepard to recover,” Miranda said.

            “Easier to collect data, too. Need to speak to Jane. Run tests. Compare to previous results. Much to learn from her. Also, significant information to be gained on collectors. Reapers. Valuable asset. Should not waste—.” Mordin’s agreement was interrupted by the sound of Garrus’ frustrated growl.

            **_“Yes, keep her body functioning, but leave her mind behind. It’s the only way, Jane.”_** The voice seemed to slip right into Jane’s ear, coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once.

            “He’ll be fine So, we are in agreement, then?” Dr. Chakwas asked.

            **_“We’ll find her. Go, go now and set things right! The way they are supposed to be.”_** His voice felt like the caress of a lover across her nonexistent skin, promising her an end to her longing.

            “Yes,” Mordin said.

            “Jane? Commander, can you hear me? I’d like for you to wake up now, if you can.” Dr. Chakwas’ request was all the encouragement Jane needed to flee from the chaos and step back through the door Dawn left open.

            Jane opened her eyes, sighing in relief as the noise slipped away from her. Miranda took a step back while Dr. Chakwas hovered over Jane, running her omni-tool over Jane’s head. Mordin pushed in on her other side, smiling down at her as he offered her his hand. Jane hesitated, still unsure of the salarian. He seemed to sense her wariness and dropped his hand back to the side.

“Sorry, Mordin. I guess I’m just not real big on people who like to put things in my head.” Jane pushed herself up, eagerly looking around the med bay for Garrus, but he was already gone.

Miranda scoffed. “I believed it was necessary at the time. I already apologized to the commander, and will not explain myself again.”

Mordin smiled. “Also removed something from your head.”

Jane snorted and nodded, reminding herself that she needed to be on her best behavior. “Fair enough.”

“How are you feeling, Commander?” Dr. Chakwas closed her omni-tool.

“Fine, I guess.” Jane shrugged. “So what now, doc?”

            Dr. Chakwas shared a look with Miranda, and Miranda nodded her head. “After discussing your current condition with both Dr. Chakwas and Dr. Solus, we have decided that it is best that I, as second in command, maintain command over the Normandy and her crew.” Miranda held out a well-manicured hand, stopping Jane from protesting. “However, although Dr. Chakwas is hesitant, I believe that it is best that I confer with the entire squad before allowing you to participate in any missions.”

            “You want to tell them all about me?” Jane’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, Dawn isn’t going to like that.”

            “I don’t believe we have many options … Commander.” Miranda stumbled over the word but managed to get through it without losing her composure. “You have shown yourself to be less than stable, and I will not put the rest of the crew at risk without them even knowing that you pose a potential threat.” Miranda crossed her arms, dropping her weight on one hip. “Alternatively, we can keep you quarantined to the med bay and under constant surveillance. We will, of course, have to tell them _something_ to explain your confinement.”

            “Oh, I said _Dawn_ wouldn’t like it. By all means, if it gets me out of this room and us back on track, tell them. Enough of you know now anyway.” Jane shrugged. “Just don’t expect Garrus to be onboard. Let me get changed and I’ll call the meeting.”

            “Commander, it’s best if you aren’t present when we speak to them.” Dr. Chakwas frowned, putting a hand on Jane’s shoulder. “This will be shocking news, difficult to understand for many of them, and they need to feel free to speak their minds on the matter.”

            _“She means they don’t need you going crazy and shooting at anyone who disagrees with you,”_ John said.

            Jane deflated. They weren’t going to give her the chance to speak for herself, to explain her actions. Her whole team was going to be convinced that she was dangerous and crazy, but it was the only choice she had. She had to stay on her best behavior. She had to, or they’d find a way to lock her inside even if it meant Dawn never woke up again. Jane chewed her lip but finally nodded her head in understanding.

            “If you are comfortable, I would like to leave you in Dr. Solus’ care while we meet with the others.” Dr. Chakwas slid her hand down Jane’s arm to give her hand a gentle squeeze. “I’ll take you to your cabin to change, and have some breakfast brought in for you first.”

            Jane sighed in resignation and nodded her head. “Alright.”

            Dr. Chakwas took Jane to her cabin and waited just outside the bathroom door while Jane relieved herself and brushed her teeth. When Jane was changed and her hair brushed, they returned to the med bay. Dr. Chakwas and Miranda left Jane sitting on the edge of the bed with a meal tray on her lap, and Mordin watching over her.

            Jane spent the next two hours answering Mordin’s questions while he recorded the entire conversation. He wanted every detail that she could remember about The Intelligence in the catalyst, the design of the crucible, and what happened when the different paths were taken. He prodded her for details on what she experienced in between one life and the next, and what differences existed between the individual Shepards’ lives prior to her inhabitation. He took scans, trying to determine a physical location in Dawn’s body where they resided. He asked about what things looked like, what they sounded like, what they felt like, and even what they sounded like on the inside.

            Jane never felt more relieved in all of her lives to hear the sound of a door opening. She turned to the door, a smile on her face. Garrus stood in the doorway, the perfect picture of fury as he clenched his hands into fists over and over again. Jane’s smile faltered as Garrus charged in, stopping two inches from her face. Grundan Krul hovered off to the side, his normally stoic features painted with uncertainty.

            “You do anything, and I mean _anything_ to hurt _anyone_ on this ship including Dawn, or anything to jeopardize this mission, and I _swear_ I will carry you to Anderson to be locked away myself.” His mandibles were held so tightly against his face, Jane could swear she heard the soft scraping of metal plates sliding over one another as he spoke.

            Jane squared her shoulders, anger welling up inside of her as she closed some of the distance between herself and Garrus, bringing her face within an inch of his. She hissed through clenched teeth. “Get out of my face, Vakarian, before I put you on your ass.”

            _“Leave him alone, Jane. He’s got every right to hate you. Every right to want to protect the team from you,”_ John said.

            Grundan Krul put a hand on Garrus’ arm, urging him to back off. “Archangel, come on.”

            Garrus growled, low and menacing. “You’d better pray the doctors never tell me that Dawn can’t be recovered because Spirits, the moment they do I’ll rip your throat out.”

            The sound of a pistol whirring to life stopped Jane’s next words on her tongue.

            Mordin’s practical voice cut through the tension. “Should leave now.”

            Garrus turned his head to look at Mordin’s pistol wedged into a gap in his armor. Garrus flicked his mandibles a few times at the professor before returning his glare to Jane. “Pray.” He turned, brushing past Grundan Krul and stormed out of the med bay.

            Grundan Krul lingered, his gaze eventually returning to Jane. She crossed her arms over her chest. Mordin put his pistol away and opened his omni-tool, scanning Jane as if nothing unusual had just happened.

            “Something you want to say?” Jane asked Grundan Krul.

            Grundan Krul raked his thumb down the side of his jaw and shook his head. The door opened again and Dr. Chakwas walked in, glancing between Jane and Grundan Krul.

            “Sorry to have kept you waiting. I appreciate your assistance.” Dr. Chakwas nodded to Grundan Krul and he followed her to the back of the med bay. “Make sure everyone keeps one of these on them at all times.”

            Jane turned to watch as Dr. Chakwas started filling syringes from a vial of clear liquid. “Sedatives? You’re passing out sedatives to everyone?”

            _“Good doc, excellent idea. They all need to be prepared to take her down,”_ John said.

            “Fuck off, John. I like it better when you refuse to talk.” Jane thought.

            “It was an agreed upon term of your release, Commander.” Dr. Chakwas capped each syringe once it was filled and passed it to Grundan Krul. “Additionally, you will be under constant surveillance, but you will be free to move about the Normandy as you wish and take part in missions. For your continued safety, and the safety of Dawn, it was agreed that the Cerberus crew that are not a part of your squad will not be informed, and precautions will be taken to protect your identity from anyone else. You will submit to twice daily to assessment by Ms. Lawson, Dr. Solus, or myself. If you can agree to these terms, you are free to leave the med bay.”

            “Fantastic. Who’s on guard duty first?” Jane forced a smile.

            “Lieutenant Vega insisted on that honor. He’s waiting for you outside.” Dr. Chakwas crossed the room to rest her hands on Jane’s shoulders. “I know that this isn’t ideal, Commander. I’m sorry, but this is the best that we can do.”

            “Yeah.” Jane patted Dr. Chakwas arm before pulling away. “I’ll go report to James.”

            “One more thing,” Dr. Chakwas said as Jane walked away. “The Council is waiting for you to report in. They were quite upset that you weren’t there first thing this morning. I bought you some time, explaining to them that you sustained injuries in the blast while saving Sparatus.”

            “Then I guess I’d better report.” Jane turned to EDI’s interface node. “EDI, please ask Samara to meet me at the airlock in twenty minutes. Tevos might try a little harder to keep the peace with her there.”

            “At once, Shepard.” EDI’s hologram hovered in the air. “I am uncertain if it is appropriate to call you Shepard. Do you prefer Jane?”

            Jane smiled and shook her head. “No, EDI. I prefer Shepard or Commander. Thanks for asking.”

            “Of course, Shepard.” EDI’s hologram collapsed and disappeared.

            Jane left the med bay and stopped in her tracks two feet out. James stood just outside the door, but he wasn’t the only one. Lia and Legion stood off to the other side. Jack lounged on a bench in the mess, her elbows propped on the table as she watched Jane. Zaeed leaned against the far wall. Grundan Krul came out behind her and started passing out the sedatives, giving one to James first. She could feel all of their eyes on her, gawking at her. Judging her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

            When she opened them again they all remained, still staring. Jane clenched her teeth and turned to James. “I need to go to the armory. My gear was trashed in the explosion.”

            James nodded and waved a hand toward the elevator. Jane started walking, James falling in on her left. “You alright, Lieutenant?”

            James hit the call button for the elevator and shrugged a massive shoulder. “I’m not going to say that this isn’t loco, probably more than anything I’ve ever heard in my life. But I’m a marine, ma’am, I can handle it.”

            They stepped into the elevator and Jane hit the button for the CIC. “You prepared to use that syringe on me, Lieutenant?”

            “Yes ma’am, if the need arises.” James nodded his head, glancing at the syringe he still held in his palm.

            Jane stepped closer to him, getting nearly as close as Garrus was to her in the med bay. She peered into his eyes, testing his mettle and feeling pride when he didn’t flinch. “You scared of me, James?”

            James gave her his best shit eating grin. “No more than usual, Ídolo.”

            “Glad to hear it, James.” Jane patted his cheek and stepped back to lean against the wall. “You always called me Lola. Well, at least when I had tits.”

            James’ laughter filled the elevator, easing the tension from Jane’s shoulders. “Lola huh? That must be why you asked about that on Fehl Prime. Uhhhh … She asked about it. I know a Lola. I guess you kind of remind me of her.”

            Jane laughed. “Yeah, that’s where the nickname came from. ‘Hot. Tough’.”

            “Look at you, getting cocky, Lola.” James grinned. “Damn, that will take some getting used to.”

            The elevator opened and the conversation died down. Jane led the way to the armory. Jacob looked up at her as soon as the door opened. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at James before settling his attention on Jane.

            “Something I can do for you, ma’am?” Jacob dropped his hand to the table; the pistol inches from his fingers didn’t go unnoticed.

            “Relax, Jacob. I’m not here to hurt you. I just need new gear.” Jane ignored the twisting in her guts. What did it really matter if he didn’t trust her?

            Jacob’s tight smile did nothing to ease the tension in the room. “Of course. Yeah, I guess that blast really did a number on your armor. I’m not sure I’ll be able to get it fixed, but I can requisition a new set of the same if you want.”

            “I’m sure Dawn would appreciate that.” Jane crossed the room to stand on the opposite side of the table.

            Jacob swallowed, and nodded. “Right. Well, just tell me what you want and I’ll get it pulled out for you.”

            Jacob didn’t relax at all the entire time Jane suited up and checked out her weapons, if anything, he became more nervous. Jane considered shooting him just on principle, but then James would feel like he had to jab that needle in her neck and things would get really ugly.

            “So, uh, wait … there were times when you didn’t have tits?” James whispered as he watched her.

            Jane laughed making Jacob snap his head in her direction from his spot behind the table. “Yeah, there were a few times where you and I could share the same bathroom without the whole crew whispering.” Jane winked at James, earning her a grin.

            “Dios. I mean … how?” James lifted both shoulders.

            “That’s the part that stumps you, huh?” Jane grinned and shook her head. “I don’t know how, James. I don’t know how for any of it.”

            “Right, sorry. This has got to be hard for … all of you.” James followed her as she made her way to the door. “So, what’d I call you then? Just Shepard?”

            _“Loco,”_ John said.

            Jane glanced back over her shoulder. “Loco.”

            Kelly ambushed Jane on her way out of the armory. “Good morning, Commander. You have unread messages at your console, and Councilor Anderson called the Normandy personally inquiring about your recovery.”

            “Thanks, Kelly. I’m on my way to speak with the Council now. I’ll check my messages when I return.” Jane smiled at the yeoman.

            “Of course, Commander.” Kelly retreated back to her station, clearly content in her oblivion.

            The elevator opened behind Jane, and she glanced over her shoulder to see Samara. Samara stepped out and started toward the airlock, Jane falling into step next to her. Samara smiled serenely at Jane and nodded her head to James. Jane didn’t just want Samara with her to manipulate Tevos, thought that was certainly fun to watch, she wanted Samara with her because she knew Samara could be trusted. If push came to shove, Samara would still sedate Jane because it is what Dawn would have wanted and what was expected of her as a member of the Normandy crew. Samara wouldn’t jump the gun on it though, not after their little talk in Dawn’s head.

            Together, they left the Normandy and made their way through the Citadel to the Presidium and up to Anderson’s office. Rebecca waved Shepard through telling her that the Council was waiting for her. The guards stationed outside of Anderson’s door were the same as the day before, they didn’t bat an eye at Jane and her entourage this time, letting them by without a word.

            Jane grinned when she saw Anderson standing across the room in front of the three holographic projections of the rest of the council. Anderson turned to the sound of her entering and nodded his head, a stern look creasing his worn features.

            He held his arm out toward her. “Here she is now.”

            The images of the councilors turned to look. Tevos stood up a little straighter, her smile widening to comical lengths. Jane crossed to the back and snapped a salute to Anderson before turning to do the same to the rest of the Council. James and Samara lingered a few feet behind her. Anderson dismissed the guards that were stationed inside his office, stating the need for privacy for the Council meeting.

            “Councilors, I apologize for the delay. I came as soon as I was cleared to leave medical.” Jane tucked her hands behind her back.

            “Of course, there is no need to apologize. We are pleased to see that you did not sustain serious injuries, Commander Shepard, and you are to be commended for your swift actions that saved both Councilor Anderson and Councilor Sparatus’ lives.” Tevos folded her hands in front of her. “However, Commander, that is not what we wished to speak with you about this morning.”

            “We need to discuss your decision to publicly speak about The Dissension, Commander.” The salarian councilor frowned as he settled his gaze on her.

            “With all due respect, Councilor, I said nothing in that interview that wasn’t clearly stated to be a matter of personal opinion or wasn’t already made publicly available.” Jane managed to fight back the smug smile that wanted to break through, reminding herself that she was supposed to be on her best behavior.

            Valern sniffed. “That very well may be, Commander, but as a Council Spectre, you are expected to remember that you represent the Council. When you speak, even when declaring it your own opinion, it will be viewed by the masses as the opinion of the Council.”

            “The Council has decided that it would be prudent to issue a statement about your interview.” Anderson turned to face Jane with a carefully crafted expression of neutrality.

            Jane raised an eyebrow. “The Council plans to disavow my interview?” She jerked her gaze back to Valern. “How will _that_ look to the masses?”

            “We will issue a simple statement reminding the public of the Council’s stance on the matter as it stands, and make it clear that we neither agree nor disagree with your summation of events.” Tevos held a placating hand out as she spoke.

            Jane turned her attention to Quentius. The turian acting councilor fluttered his mandibles in response. Jane’s head cocked to the side as she read his expression, coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t a fan of the idea.

            “What exactly has been the public response, if I may ask?” Jane crossed her arms over her chest.

            “It’s difficult to say just yet, Commander, but it _appears_ that your interview has left quite the impression, at least here on the Citadel.” Quentius gave a slight nod of his head. “C-Sec reports that there hasn’t been a significant decrease in the rates of human-turian crime, _but_ there have been more reports of civilians of both species stepping in to restore the peace.”

            “If the results have been positive, I fail to understand why the Council would wish to try and sweep the interview under the rug.” Jane glanced between Valern and Tevos, her jaw flexing a staccato rhythm making her face ache.

            “It’s simply too soon to know how this interview will truly affect things, Commander Shepard.” Tevos gave Jane a sympathetic smile. “It’s not that we wish to sweep your interview under the rug, or even that we disagree with what you’ve said. It is merely that we as the Council must maintain our position on the matter until we know more about The Dissension and precisely what threat they pose.” Tevos looked past Jane to where Samara stood. “I’m sure you understand.”

            _“Just like the reapers, isn’t that right, Councilor? That’s how the Council handles everything. Deny, refute, and then plead for help when all else fails.”_ John’s disgust resonated with Jane’s.

            Anderson cleared his throat, drawing Jane’s attention back to him. “Considering the timing of the attack last night, there might be reason to believe that The Dissension were spurred into action by your interview.”

            “Sir, are you saying that I’m to blame for last night’s events?” Jane asked, her eyes wide in shock.

            _“That’ll tear Dawn up to hear. I pray they’re wrong, or at least The Dissension never make it clear that’s why they chose to attack Sparatus,”_ John said.

            “Of course not, Commander, you couldn’t have anticipated such a reaction,” Tevos spoke urgently. “We are merely saying that The Dissension may have decided to make the attempt on Councilor Sparatus’ life as a response to your interview.

            “Yeah … yeah we could have if Dawn had taken the time to think this thing through. The fact that Sparatus is still alive because I saved him is the only reason you’re not stringing my ass up in the middle of the Presidium for the locals to throw stones,” Jane thought, the sentiment begrudgingly echoed back to her from John.

            “That sounds like blame to me.” Jane jerked her head to the side, a sneer fighting to form on her face.

            “Shepard.” Anderson’s tone was low and filled with warning.

            “Be that as it may, Commander, it is the decision of this Council that we will issue a public statement declaring our position.” Tevos frowned. “Considering this is not the first time you have released a statement without communicating with us prior, we now insist that you cease from any further statements unless you have been cleared to do so by the Council. Thank you for your time, Commander.”

            “Censorship at its finest. I guess those privileges are only awarded to civilians.” Jane laughed, turning to Anderson. “Feels almost like being back in the Alliance, doesn’t it, sir?”

            Anderson stifled a laugh, the corners of his lips twitching. The meeting was brought to a close, the holograms of Tevos and Valern winking out of existence. Jane raised an eyebrow when the image of Quentius remained.

            “Is there something I can do for you, Acting Councilor Quentius?” Anderson asked.

            “I was hoping to have a moment of the commander’s time, unofficially.” Quentius tucked his hands behind his back, flaring his mandibles in question.

            “Of course, sir.” Jane stepped closer to the holographic display. “What can I do for you?”

            “I’ve been asked by the Primarch to pass on his gratitude for your display. The Hierarchy believes, despite what actions the Council takes, that your open support of the Hierarchy and attempts to appease the growing tension between our species will not be in vain.” Quentius smiled. “Primarch Fedorian understands that you are currently engaged in solving this conflict with the collectors, but has asked that I extend to you an open invitation to meet with him in person. He would like to discuss among other things, your reports of Sovereign and the reaper threat.”

            _“Jane … Jane you can’t do that. At least not without conferring with Garrus and making a solid plan. You know that, right? This is a delicate situation, one that’s new to all of us and Garrus is already upset with you. If you got talking to the Primarch … gods only know what you could mess up, even with the best of intentions.”_ John coated his words with a soothing calm that he clearly didn’t feel, bringing a smile to Jane’s face.

            “Care to use that as a bargaining chip, John?” Jane thought.

            “That’s fantastic, sir. I would be honored to meet with the Primarch. I will be in touch to set something up as soon as possible.” Jane squared her shoulders, nodding her agreement.

 _“Don’t be a fool, Jane,”_ John said.

            “I’m sure the Primarch will be pleased to hear that, Commander. I also thought you might like to know that the doctors treating Councilor Sparatus believe that he will make a full recovery.” Quentius paused and glanced over his shoulder. A moment later another turian came into view briefly, passing the acting councilor a datapad.

            _“That gives the Council even less to be angry about, but that doesn’t mean Sparatus isn’t going to rake you over the coals for this,”_ John said.

Quentius nodded his head but didn’t look at the datapad, instead turning his attention back to Jane. “I have been told that your relationship with the Councilor has been tumultuous at best, but he has asked about you and I think he would like to speak with you. I’ve already cleared it with the rest of the Council and his security should you decide to visit his hospital room. I can send his location to your omni-tool.”

“Thank you, sir, I’ll do that.” Jane opened her omni-tool to glance at the information as it came through.

“I saved his life, John. I’m sure that means _something_ to the councilor,” Jane thought with a smirk.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Commander Shepard.” Quentius fluttered his mandibles and dipped his head.

“The pleasure was mine, sir.” Jane saluted the councilor, earning her a wry smile before his image disappeared.

Anderson and the others had moved down to Anderson’s desk while Jane talked to Quentius. Jane made her way to them; stopping next to Anderson she put a hand on his shoulder. He turned to her with that old familiar smile that somehow managed to both warm her heart and fill it with sorrow at the same time. Images of Anderson slouched against the dais, bleeding out on the Citadel filled Jane’s mind. She shook them off and returned Anderson’s smile.

“We need to talk, sir.” Jane gave the councilor’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“It’s not as bad as you think, Shepard.” Anderson gestured to the chairs on the opposite side of his desk.

“That’s not what I meant, Anderson.” Jane moved to take a seat. “But you might want to sit down for this.”

“What is it, Shepard? What’s wrong?” Anderson pulled out his chair and sat down.

Jane scratched her head before rubbing the back of her neck. “My entire squad now knows my little secret, Anderson. Well, I suppose it was never a ‘little’ secret.”

 _“Jane, what are you doing?! Dawn kept this from him for a reason. Gods, you really are insane, aren’t you?”_ John pounded against the barrier that kept Jane firmly in control.

“Have a little faith, John,” Jane thought.

“They do?” Anderson leaned back in his chair, his eyes flicking to James and Samara.

Jane leaned forward, resting an elbow on his desk. “Miranda felt it was necessary to inform the entire squad, but not the Cerberus crew, of my … condition and Dr. Chakwas agreed to let it happen.”

Anderson’s brow furrowed. “Why would Dr. Chakwas make that call?”

 _“Don’t do this, Jane. Dawn will never forgive you,”_ John said.

“For their safety.” Jane shrugged and then held the back of one hand to her mouth so she could stage whisper. “Apparently, I’m not very stable.”

“Commander, I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re saying. What happened?” Anderson leaned forward, his eyes locking on hers.

“Dawn’s in a coma, Anderson.” Jane hopped to her feet and snapped a salute. “Commander Jane Shepard reporting for duty, sir.”

 _“Damn you!”_ John roared in anger before retreating to the recesses of Jane’s mind.

Anderson stared up at Jane for a few seconds before slowly pushing his chair away from the desk and rising to his feet. “How did this happen, Jane?”

“After leaving your apartment last night, we were caught in a secondary explosion. We took a hard hit, and she was knocked out. Just before losing consciousness, she asked me to save the councilor, so I did. Problem is she isn’t regaining consciousness.” Jane moved away from the desk to pace the office. “Dawn didn’t want you to know that I’ve been able to step in for her like this. Mostly because everyone thinks I’m crazy and she figured if you knew then you might feel obligated to lock us up.”

Anderson grunted softly, his eyes tracking her movements. “So why are you volunteering this information now?”

“Because I’ve given it some thought, and I think that you’ll realize that come hell or high water, the galaxy is better off with me left to do my job, sir.” Jane came to a stop in front of Anderson. “And because although it probably hasn’t occurred to him yet, Lieutenant Vega will soon realize that this might be the type of thing he ought to mention in his next report to the Alliance. I don’t think any of us want that, sir.”

James cursed softly in Spanish, the words not quite loud enough for Jane to make out. She glanced at him to see him rubbing the back of his neck and shaking his head. He looked up, meeting her gaze and frowned.

Jane smiled and made her way over to James, patting his shoulder. “It’s alright, James. I’m the one who gave the doc the greenlight to tell the team. It was better than staying locked up in the med bay indefinitely.”

“Dr. Chakwas believes you pose a risk to the safety of the crew but she’s allowed you off the Normandy?” Anderson rubbed his jaw, looking like he’d just taken a punch.

“I may have said and done a few things that would give her cause for alarm, yes. But I swear my goals are in line with the best interest of the galaxy, sir. I want to take down the collectors and the reapers. I just want to do my job, Anderson.” Jane moved back to the chair and sat down. “Dr. Chakwas realizes that, and with Dawn out of commission … .”

“That leaves you.” Anderson said, sitting back down himself. “What exactly did you do to make her believe you might be a threat to the crew?”

Jane shrugged her shoulder. “I shot Garrus.”

Anderson’s eyebrows rose so high they nearly met his hairline. “You shot Garrus Vakarian?”

“I didn’t actually _mean_ to, and I told him I was sorry. He hates me anyway. Wants the doc to find a way to kill me, actually.” Jane dropped her gaze to the desk, waring with the conflicting emotions thinking of Garrus brought to mind.

“How did you accidentally shoot Vakarian?” Anderson asked.

“It just grazed him, really. He’s being a big baby over it.” Jane grinned, looking back up at Anderson.

“Answer the question, Commander. That’s an order.” Anderson’s voice was gruff, leaving no room for argument.

Jane cringed under the words coming from Anderson. Just as she had the day he ordered her to cooperate with Dawn by allowing her full access to all memories, she felt an undeniable urge to do exactly as the man asked of her. She felt the weight of the compulsion echo back to her from every other Shepard locked away inside.

Her jaw clenched. “Yes sir. Mordin devised an implantable device to act as an IFF to confuse the collector’s seeker swarms. I made my opposition to having the device implanted clear to Dawn, but she allowed us to be implanted anyway. I … didn’t take it well, sir, when I could feel the device moving around at the back of our skull.”

Jane pressed her head into the palms of her hands. “I panicked. I was able to force control over Dawn and locked myself in the head located in my cabin. I attempted to remove the device manually. EDI alerted Garrus that something was wrong, and when he arrived, EDI opened the door for him. I pulled my sidearm on Garrus and told him to stand down.” Jane swallowed hard before continuing. “I _needed_ to get that thing out of me. I _had_ to, sir. Garrus thought he saw an opportunity and lunged. I pulled the trigger on reflex. I didn’t mean to.”

“In her defense, sir, I was implanted with one of those things when I joined the Normandy. It was, uh, creepy. Hell, I almost wanted to dig it out,” James said.

“It was a rather unpleasant experience,” Samara agreed.

Anderson ran a heavy hand over his face, tugging at his features. “I’m going to need to speak with Dr. Chakwas.” He turned to James. “In the meantime, Lieutenant Vega, as a Council Spectre, Commander Shepard’s personal affairs don’t need to be reported to the Alliance. Are we clear?”

“Yes sir.” James saluted Anderson, a relieved smile spreading over his face.

“You want me to have EDI patch you through to Dr. Chakwas?” Jane asked.

Anderson shook his head. “I’d rather speak with her privately. I’ll call the Normandy after you leave.”

“I won’t hold you, then. I’ve got an injured councilor to check in on.” Jane stood up and started to leave.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Shepard?” Anderson’s voice pulled her attention back to him.

“Don’t worry, sir. I’ll be on my best behavior. I handled talking to the Council, didn’t I?” Jane held her palm up and shrugged a shoulder.

“I suppose you did. These two will be with you the whole time?” Anderson nodded his head at James and Samara.

“She’s not leaving my sight, sir.” James squared his shoulders and nodded his head.

“Alright, Shepard.” Anderson nodded before a smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “Just don’t forget he’s injured, try to take it easy on him.”

“That an order, sir?” Jane grinned when Anderson laughed and shook his head.

She started to leave again but hesitated. She didn’t know when Dawn would wake up again, which meant if she didn’t say what she most wanted to say to Anderson now, she might not get another chance.

Jane swallowed and turned back to Anderson again. “I know you don’t have much reason to trust me, sir, but if it comes time to use the Hail Mary … damn it, don’t go into that beam. Don’t make me watch you die again, Anderson.” Jane couldn’t fight the sudden welling of tears or the hoarse sound of her voice. “Please, sir.”

“Mmm.” Anderson stood and crossed the floor to rest a hand on Jane’s shoulder. “I hope that you’re—that Dawn is able to keep us from ever reaching that point. It was clear she wanted it to be the last resort. But I think we all know that when the time comes, as long as I’m still breathing there isn’t any other place I’d be than at her side doing what needs to be done.”

Jane swallowed and nodded her head. “Yes sir.”

Anderson patted her shoulder before brushing a tear from her cheek. “You’re strong enough to handle this, Shepard. Don’t forget that.”

“Yes sir.” Jane sniffled. “I should go.”

She couldn’t stand the sight of the look of pity Anderson gave her, but she forced herself to smile at him once more before she turned and walked out of the office. She’d find a way to save Anderson, even if it meant having to go through it all again. If Dawn could change as much as she did, letting so many people die—Kaidan, Ashley, Liara—then she damn well could change things enough to save just one. If Grundan Krul and others from Archangel’s team could live, then so could Anderson.

Jane sniffled again and shook her head. She could feel James and Samara’s eyes on her wary and watching, waiting to see if she was going to hold it together or do something that might force them to sedate her. Jane squared her shoulders and walked back out onto the Presidium.

She used the Citadel rapid transit to get to Huerta Memorial Hospital. Jane noted with disinterest that they’d placed the councilor in the same room that Ashley and Kaidan always occupied after being nearly beaten to death. Guards stationed outside of his room—all asari commandos—parted to allow Jane entrance.

Scaffolding held Sparatus broken body in traction, half suspended above the bed. His head and neck held stable, he was unable to turn to her when the door opened. Instead, his mandibles flared and he scented the air.

“It’s Commander Shepard, Councilor. May we come in?” Jane hesitated in the doorway.

“Shepard. Yes, come in, please.” Sparatus’ voice sounded strained, his vocal chords dry.

Jane walked over to the bed where he could see her and poured water from a pitcher on the bedside table into a glass. “Water, sir?”

Jane watched, fighting back amusement as Sparatus’ features shifted from indignation to resignation.

“That’s not your job, Shepard.” Sparatus hesitated, his mandibles flared. “But since there doesn’t seem to be a nurse around when I need them, yes, if you don’t mind.”

Jane held the curved lip of the cup to Sparatus’ mouth and tipped it just enough for some of the water to trickle through the plates. She waited, giving him the chance to swallow before offering more. When he was sated, she put the glass back on the table.

Unsure of what to say to her least favorite councilor, Jane tucked her hands behind her back and waited. James shifted restlessly behind her while Samara stood as still as a statue, her gaze fixed on a small painting hanging above the bed.

“You saved my life last night, Shepard.” Sparatus fluttered his mandibles, seeming disgusted by the taste of the words in his mouth.

“It’s my job, sir.” Jane gave a brisk nod of her head. “I was in Anderson’s apartment when the first explosion happened. He informed me of your whereabouts, so I sent some of my team with his guards to escort him to safety and took the rest to provide you aid.”

Sparatus’ mandibles flared, his brow plates dipping low. “The Dissension?”

“Yes sir, and considering they had explosives rigged to your door, I believe you were their target, sir,” Jane said.

“And why do you suppose that is, Shepard?” The sharp flick of his mandibles complimented the biting tone of his voice.

“Sir, if you wish to blame me for your attack you’re too late. The Council already did that. Indirectly, of course.” Jane grimaced. “They’ll be releasing an official statement declaring that my opinions in the interview do not necessarily reflect that of the Council.”

Sparatus’ brow plates quirked. “Of course.”

They watched each other quietly for a moment, the silence only broken by the soft beeping of the various machines hooked up to the councilor.

“Why defend me, Shepard?” Sparatus flared his mandibles, his voice low and strained.

“Sir?” Jane cocked her head to the side, her eyebrows raised in question.

“It’s no secret we’re not very fond of one another, Commander. Surely your life would be easier without me on the Council. Why go out of your way to defend me in such a public forum?” He broke eye contact with Jane for the first time since she set down the glass of water.

“Because I believed you were telling the truth and because I thought it would help keep the peace.” Jane bit the inside of her cheek, choking on the words she knew Dawn would say next. “I didn’t anticipate that they would target you. I apologize if my actions encouraged their attack. It certainly wasn’t my intent.”

The door slid open and a salarian doctor walked in, moving to check the machine readouts. Jane turned to the door, motioning to the others that it was time to leave.

“I’m retiring, Shepard.” Sparatus drew Jane’s attention back to him. “It’s time I return to Palaven.”

Jane moved back where Sparatus could see her. “That’s surprising news, Councilor. I never imagined you’d give up your seat on the Council so easily.” Jane’s brow furrowed in contemplation. “The doctors said you’re going to make a full recovery, and you have to know the charges will be cleared. Why leave?”

“Let’s just say that I’m finally taking your warnings to heart. I want to make sure my people are prepared for what’s to come, and I don’t think I can do that through the red tape of the Council.” Sparatus’ voice took on a sardonic tone. “We certainly haven’t made it easy for you.”

Jane smirked. “No, you certainly haven’t. Have you told the Council yet?”

His mandibles fluttered and he smiled for the first time Jane could ever recall. “I wanted you to be the first to know.”

Jane laughed and nodded her head. “Thank you, sir. For what it’s worth, I believe Acting Councilor Quentius will make a fine replacement. Get well soon, Sparatus.”

“Good luck out there, Shepard.” Sparatus turned his attention back to the salarian now poking and prodding him.

 

 

 

           

           


	35. Chapter 34: Buying Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, I did something a little different with this chapter. I hope it reads alright for you, and you don't mind. I had several pages written but it wasn't feeling right to me so I scrapped it and started over. This chapter skips through time, focusing on brief conversations between Jane and the various crew members. There was a certain feeling of vagueness that I was missing out on, a blurring of time as the days passed that Jane feels while stuck aboard the Normandy. I think that the changes I made help to capture it better.

**Chapter 34: Buying Time**

"Anderson! I didn't expect to see you here, sir." Jane stopped just inside the med bay door.

Dr. Chakwas, Miranda, Garrus, and Anderson all turned to face Jane. The pinched, tight lipped expression on Dr. Chakwas face made the hairs on the back of Jane's neck raise. Garrus crossed his arms over his chest, his mandibles flush against his jaw. Miranda shifted her gaze to a datapad in her hand while Anderson locked eyes with Jane. "Shepard, you're back, good. I thought it was best if I have this conversation with Dr. Chakwas in person."

_"_ _I told you. You should have kept your mouth shut."_ She expected smugness, but instead the only thing Jane felt from John was dread.

"I see. I'll come back later, sir." Jane turned back to the door. She could still get off the Normandy, find a place to lay low on the Citadel until she could get on a shuttle and … and … and what?

_"_ _You can't run. If we lose the Normandy, and Anderson's support we'll never see the front lines of the war."_ John pushed at Jane's resolve. _"We'll end up just another casualty when the reapers come. Die in some backwoods shack on some random colony or end up in prison instead of just a padded room. At least this way, there's a chance we can pull it together enough to still save the galaxy."_ He found the crack, the sliver of doubt and pushed at it. _"We can still work together on this, Jane. It's not too late. The damage you've done can still be fixed. We can work together, get Dawn back in the game, and find a way to beat this thing."_

"No, Shepard. We're done here, and I've made my decision." Anderson moved to stand in front of Shepard, Garrus at his side.

Jane's heart began to race; she could feel the walls closing in on her. She turned back around to fully face Anderson, cringing when she saw the look on his face. She'd seen that look before, and nothing good ever came of it. She'd made a mistake; a miscalculation in outing herself to Anderson and it was about to cost her everything. She was so sure; so, so sure she could trust him to let her do what needed to be done.

"Commander Shepard, please relinquish your weapons to Lieutenant Vega. You won't be needing them." The tone in Anderson's voice told her it wasn't really a request.

Jane's hands closed into fists at her side. She opened her mouth to speak but found her mouth bone dry. She licked her lips, working up the moisture she needed and tried again. "Sir?"

_"_ _Just listen to him, Jane. It's Anderson. Even if you were willing to barrel through everyone on this ship to get out of here, you couldn't make it. EDI would shut down the elevators, lock out the emergency stairs. You'd have nowhere to go,"_ John said.

"Commander, I can't in good conscious allow you to be armed or leave the Normandy unless absolutely necessary." Anderson squared his shoulders, his voice lacking even the faintest hint of regret.

_"_ _Not leave the Normandy … that's good, that means he isn't taking us in. Not yet at least,"_ John said.

"With all due respect, sir. I don't think—." Jane thought that he just didn't understand. If she could just get him to see why it was necessary for her to stay on the mission he would change his mind.

"That's an order, Commander." There was that regret, just a hint of it seeping in through the edges of his gravelly voice and dulling the golden-brown of his eyes.

Jane clenched her jaw, her trembling hand flying to her forehead in salute. "Aye, aye, sir." The words forced their way through her throat, sounding tight and strangled. Jane reached for her pistol, and Garrus growled, low and deep. Jane's eyes jerked away from Anderson to stare down her best friend, the urge to follow through with Anderson's order pulsed in her veins.

_"_ _Calm, Jane. Just move nice and slow. Don't push Garrus, and don't force Anderson to change his mind."_ John tried to convey tranquility through their connection, but Jane could feel his jittery nerves.

James stepped up, resting his fingertips on the back of Jane's hand. "I got it, Commander." He removed her pistol from her holster when she dropped her hand to her side. He moved to her back, removing each of her weapons one by one and setting them aside to be gathered when he finished. "I'm sorry, Lola," James said, his voice little more than a breeze brushing across her neck.

"Commander, I am going to allow you to remain aboard the Normandy under the care of Dr. Chakwas. She has convinced me that if Dawn has any hope of making a full recovery, it is in her best interest that you be allowed to continue to … occupy her body." Anderson cleared his throat. "And you were correct, the intel that you possess is vital in your mission against the collectors and the war against the reapers. That being said, you can provide your crew with all the intel they need from the safety of the Normandy while they continue on with the mission. I think you'll find the arrangement preferable to the alternative."

"Yes, sir." Jane dipped her head. Her jaw ached, her teeth threatening to crack beneath the pressure she put on them. Her heart ached even worse with the sting of betrayal.

"Ms. Lawson has informed me that there are a number of non-priority missions planned before your final assault on the collectors. I believe it is best that the Normandy attend to those in Dawn's absence, and your XO agrees." Anderson put a hand on Jane's shoulder, forcing her gaze back to his. "I know you're not happy about this, Commander. I hope that you can see that this is the best that I can do for you. This arrangement will only work so long as you cooperate. This will all stay off the record; remain unofficial so long as you don't force my hand. Listen to Dr. Chakwas, she's trying to help you."

* * *

Jane lay with her head hanging off the foot of her bed, her arms thrown out to the side. "I don't understand why I wasn't allowed to go." She blew her breath out in a heavy gust.

"Because you're fucking psycho. God damn, will you stop whining? It's not like I _want_ to be in here babysitting you so you don't go all Jolly Jane on the crew." Jack flipped her knife up into the air, watching it spin three times before it landed back in her palm. She sat on the couch, legs spread wide with her elbows braced on her knees.

"Jolly Jane?" Jane rolled over to her stomach, pushing up on her elbows to rest her chin in her palms. Her feet kicked back and forth behind her as she let out a puff of air, sending her bangs fluttering.

"Jolly Jane. She was a serial killer in the early nineteen-hundreds or some shit." Jack shrugged and tossed the knife again. "Fuck if I know. The point is, you got yourself into this mess so there's no point in bitching."

"You really think I'm psycho, Jack? I thought you of all people might be a little more understanding." Jane raised an eyebrow and watched as the biotic twirled the knife around in her fingertips. "You know what it's like to be held prisoner. You know what it's like to be tortured by Cerberus. Did they tell you that? In their little summit? That while Miranda was slicing and dicing up Dawn, I was awake and felt it all? I was screaming in agony but Miranda just kept cutting and scrapping, drilling away at me like it didn't even matter."

"If you're trying to convince me that Miranda's a bitch, don't bother. I've never been her fan. But yeah, you're fucking psycho, even if that part isn't your fault." Jack grinned. "I mean, I've been called crazy a time or two, but you … you cut a hole in your head and went digging around inside." Jack laughed and shook her head. "That's hardcore crazy right there. Then you shot Garrus, the one person on this ship who I actually _like_ besides Alliance, so yeah, don't expect any compassion from me." Jack stood up and made her way up the stairs to tap on Spike's tank. "Besides, I'm not really convinced that you are what they say you are. Sounds a lot to me like you've just got split personalities or something. Maybe Alliance just needs to self-medicate. I bet between Mordin and Dr. Chakwas you can find some good shit on this ship."

Jane snorted and rolled back over again, watching the upside down Jack pull the chair over to the snake tank and reach inside. She hoped Spike bit Jack, but he didn't, instead he crawled up her arm and let her take him out of his cozy habitat. John grumbled at Jane in the back of her mind, his attention firmly fixed on Jack's every movement.

She wasn't going to waste her breath trying to prove to Jack that she was something more than a figment of Dawn's damaged psyche. Instead, she decided to argue her case a little more because it wasn't like she had anything better to do. "But I mean, what harm could I really do helping Kasumi break into Dickhead Donavan Hock's vault? I already know exactly what she needs to do to get inside, and what she's going to face on her way out." And of course, she was required to inform Kasumi of every last detail. In the end, Miranda and James accompanied her.

Jack sauntered down the stairs again with Spike wrapped around her neck and trailing down her arms. "How the hell am I supposed to know? Better yet, why do you even fucking care? So what if you don't get to go shoot people this time? Most of us go weeks without getting off this damn ship while you're out having fun." Jack sat down again, holding Spike's head up even with her eyes, letting his tongue flicker out against her nose. "Shit, kick back and relax. It should be a damn vacation for you."

Jane rolled her eyes. John continued to observe in silence, salivating over Jack's every word. It gave Jane a smug sense of satisfaction knowing that Jack didn't even believe that he was real. "Did they tell you that there were times I was a man?"

_"_ _Don't, Jane. There's no point in that, all you're going to do is piss her off for trying to mess with her head."_ John growled, his anxiety leaking through to Jane.

Jack focused on Jane, looking past Spike. "Nope, didn't say. Don't care."

Jane rolled over and sat up, dangling her feet over the edge of the bed. She stared at Jack for a moment before getting up and crossing to the other section of the couch. Jack pretended that she wasn't watching Jane's every move; that she wasn't intimidated or worried in the slightest but Jane could feel the tension in the air when she sat down a few feet away. "One of them was named John."

_"_ _Jane, seriously. Leave her the hell alone."_ John's tone took on a threatening edge, bringing a smile to Jane's face.

"Fuck if you're going to keep talking I'm going to need a drink." Jack got up and crossed over to the liquor cabinet, putting some distance between herself and Jane.

Jane turned to face her as she walked away. "Don't you need to be sober to make sure I don't go all 'Jolly Jane'?"

"Please. They took all your weapons away and locked them up in the armory." Jack popped the top of a bottle of vodka Dawn kept in the back just for Jack and paused to finish her statement with the bottle an inch from her lips. "You're unarmed, and I can't even _get_ drunk enough that I can't put you through the wall with my biotics alone."

Jane waited for Jack to start drinking before speaking again, her voice a warm, sultry purr. "Oh, I'd never hurt you, Jack. John simply wouldn't allow it; you're the love of his life. Even now he's filling my mind with images of you stripped down, squirming beneath him."

_"_ _Go to hell, Jane. Just go to fucking hell."_ John battered against the barrier keeping him out, futilely raging against Jane.

Jane was disappointed. She expected some sort of rise out of Jack, for her to cough and spew vodka all over the room or something. Instead, Jack gave her nothing but a cocked eyebrow and took another drink. "Aw, come on! You're not nearly as much fun as I expected."

"And you're not nearly as good at fucking with people as you think you are. That was child's play." Jack grinned and leaned against the liquor cabinet.

"So you don't want to make out? You can always pretend I'm John." Jane grinned. "Or Dawn, if you'd rather. You sure didn't have any problem sticking your tongue down her throat."

_"_ _Don't you fucking touch her, Jane. I swear I will find a way to tear you limb from limb if you lay one finger on her."_ John seethed, his anger bitter on Jane's tongue.

"Jack, Zaeed is on his way to relieve you," EDI said.

"About fucking time." Jack put the lid back on the bottle and made her way up the stairs to put Spike back in his tank, glaring at Jane as she went.

Jane followed her up, smiling to herself as she leaned against the wall. The door opened a minute later and Zaeed walked in, stopping to take in the luxury of the cabin for the first time. Jack stepped down from the chair and rolled it back over to the desk before heading to the door.

"Going back down to your little hidey-hole, Jack?" Jane asked.

Jack stopped in the doorway and turned back to Jane, putting her hands on the wall on either side of Jane's head before leaning in real close. Jane arched an eyebrow as Jack put her lips next to her ears and whispered. "I don't know. I thought I might go ride Garrus' cock while he tells me all about how badly he wants to dig his talons into your eye sockets." Jack pushed away, meeting Jane's fiery glare with a smirk before leaving the cabin.

* * *

"Tell me about Vido." Zaeed leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands hanging limply between his legs. "Tell me I get that sonofabitch."

Jane let out a heavy sigh and pushed herself up from the bed, crossing over to the liquor cabinet. As soon as Kasumi and the others were back, they'd be heading to Zorya where she would be left behind while Zaeed took a team in to fight Vido Santiago. She hated being left behind.

Jane pulled out the bottle of vodka and a couple of tumblers before going to sit down next to Zaeed on the couch. She wasn't particularly fond of Vodka, but she'd drain the bottle if it meant it wasn't there for Jack later. He didn't flinch or move away from her the way Jack had, and that meant something to her. Then again, there wasn't much that could shake Zaeed Massani.

Jane poured them both a drink and then sat back with her glass, propping her feet up on the coffee table. "I've yet to see you catch him. I'm sorry." Zaeed turned at the waist to stare at her, and she took a sip of her drink. "Doesn't mean you won't this time. I can't tell you what you need to do, but I can tell you what's happened before." Jane lifted her shoulder in a shrug. "Maybe you can try something different this time."

* * *

Jane sat down across from Grundan Krul, elbows on the table; she rested her chin in her palms. Miranda was leading a team through the Eclipse base on Lorek. Thanks to Jane's intel, they already knew the Cerberus operative, Rawlings, that the Illusive Man wanted them to save was dead. Miranda wanted that intel for herself, though. If she was going to take over Cerberus, she wanted whatever edge she could find. Plus, it would make the Illusive Man happy to see that they were working on something he'd asked them to do.

Grundan Krul watched her with all four of his eyes, silently drinking his coffee. Jane glanced at the carafe sitting next to him. "May I?"

Grundan Krul took another drink before giving a slight nod of his head. Jane left the table, feeling his eyes follow her as she fetched a mug from the kitchen area and returned to the table. She filled her mug, breathing in the rich aroma. "You don't like me much, do you?" She took a sip and sighed appreciatively before setting the mug back on the table.

"Don't know you." Grundan Krul bent his elbows, holding the mug between his hands in front of his face.

Jane smirked. "Fair enough. I don't really know you, either. I never had the pleasure of meeting you before this time. You were always dead before I got to Garrus." Jane watched his face, but his expression didn't change. "Did he tell you about that, yet? Tell you that if Dawn hadn't warned him about Sidonis everyone on his team would be dead, and he would've taken a rocket to the face." Jane shrugged. "He'd have lived, of course, but man was his face scarred all to hell."

"He told me." Grundan Krul tipped his mug back, draining it before filling it up again.

* * *

Jane sat on the couch in the starboard observation. Samara sat on the floor a few feet away, surrounded by a blue glow. Miranda was working on recovering Cerberus' Project Firewalker. Jane suspected that was more from Garrus' influence than any interest Miranda might have in the vehicle itself. It was good though, they'd need the Hammerhead to save David Archer and that was one mission Jane definitely didn't want to see neglected.

"You misunderstand." Samara let the energy around her die down and turned her eyes to Jane. "I swore my oath to the one called Dawn. I will uphold that oath, and I believe her wishes were made clear to me. Should you do anything that would endanger yourself or anyone else aboard the Normandy; I will do as I must. It is as Shepard would ask of me."

"You swore an oath to me, too." Jane crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap, the muscles in her back and shoulders tightening.

"I did not." Samara stood and crossed over to the observatory window. "I am not the Justicar that swore an oath to you. Either she no longer exists, or exists in another reality. I owe you no allegiance, even if I am appreciative of the information you have provided me." Samara dropped her gaze to the tips of her red leather boots. "And for killing my daughter."

* * *

Miranda left Legion behind after hearing about David's ability to control the geth. Jane assured her that Legion would be fine, but Miranda didn't trust that Jane was telling the truth. It was reassuring though, to see the fury in Miranda's eyes when Jane told her about what Cerberus had done to David in their Project Overlord.

"Shepard-Commander, we have been told that one of your programs is failing." Legion stood in front of Jane, drawing her attention back to him. The plating around his optics fluttering in mimicked concern. "EDI informs us that were it not for running multiple programs; your platform would also now be failing."

"Ah yeah, the uh … primary program, Dawn, that normally has control over our platform is comatose." Jane scratched her temple. "There's a chance that she might regain consciousness, though."

"We do not understand, Shepard-Commander. Are you unable to reach a consensus on whether to repair or terminate the faulty program, Dawn?" Legion opened his optic plates wide, scratching at the side of a plate.

* * *

Jane thought Miranda was just trying to buy time now, desperately hoping that Dawn would wake up soon and take back the reins. Not that Jane thought it was wrong of her to go out of her way to keep the MSV Broken Arrow from crashing into a planet, but it just didn't seem like it was on the top of Miranda's to do list. At least she trusted Jane enough to take Legion along for the ride this time. His skills would come in handy while fighting off the geth. Grunt was less than thrilled that he wasn't chosen, and he seemed determined to make Jane pay for his guard duty.

"You're not Shepard. If we were in Okeer's lab, you would be flushed from your tank and sent out to Jedore's men for target practice. On Tuchanka, you would be taken out to the ruins and left to die. You're not Shepard." Grunt lifted his lip in a snarl of disgust.

"Gee, Grunt. And to think I helped you kill a thresher maw and find a clan of your own." Jane crossed her arms and leaned against the metal railing across from Grunt. "You know, that wasn't even the first thresher maw I took down. Of course, the maws were nothing next to the reapers."

"And here you are now sniveling like a baby suckling at your mother's teat because no one likes you. They don't need to like you, they need to fear and respect you. But your mind is broken and you're weak. There's nothing to fear. Nothing to respect." Grunt shook his head and adjusted his grip on his assault rifle.

* * *

Grundan Krul had gotten word on the location of his father's old ship. It seemed his crew didn't let a little thing like their captain being killed keep them from carrying on with their important work of harvesting people to be sold into slavery. He'd gone to Garrus with the news, who then took it straight to Miranda. Miranda agreed to help Grundan Krul sabotage the ship with explosives. Jack was more than happy to help, but of course, Jane was left behind.

They didn't even tell her about the mission. Since Jane never dealt with Grundan Krul in her life, she didn't have anything that she could tell them about the ship and what they might face. It was Kasumi who had spilled the beans when she came in to replace Zaeed for guard duty. Jane hadn't seen much of the thief since she broke into Hock's vault. This was, surprisingly, the first time she'd actually been assigned to guard Jane.

Kasumi paced circles around Jane, her finger tapping against her lower lip. "It's funny. When Dr. Chakwas and Miranda told us about you … I guess I thought you'd look different somehow." She stopped in front of Jane, just outside of arms reach. "It's kinda creepy. I'm still having trouble believing all of this. But you were right, eerily on the mark about Donavan Hock." Kasumi lifted her shoulders and gave a slight shake of her head. "I don't know how else to explain it."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Shepard. Orders have been given that you refrain from entering the cockpit at Jeff's request until you are cleared for active duty. Jeff is concerned that you pose a security risk, and the cockpit must be protected." EDI's hologram floated in front of Shepard, an intangible barricade blocking the entrance to the cockpit.

Joker didn't even turn in his chair to look at her. Jane could tell he was listening though, his hands had stopped moving over the controls, and he sat stiffly in his chair. "He doesn't want to see me." It was a question, but a statement of the painfully obvious. She saw Joker flinch at her words.

_"_ _They're afraid you'll try to steal the Normandy. Or maybe crash it into an asteroid. It's a reasonable precaution,"_ John said.

"No it isn't!" Jane snapped, her thoughts a twisted snarl of wounded pride and grief. "I'd never do that. Joker requested it, not Miranda, and not Anderson. It's his way of telling me he doesn't want to see me."

"I am obligated to inform you that if you continue beyond this point, it will be seen as a hostile breech and I will be required to request that Legion subdue you." Jane thought EDI's voice sounded a little colder, a little more detached than usual.

"I see. That won't be necessary. Thank you, EDI." Jane turned and walked away, her head held high despite the tears stinging at her eyes, threatening to fall.

She had thought that she might be able to find some of that sense of tranquility Dawn found siting in the co-pilots chair, engaging in easy banter with Joker, but apparently she wasn't welcome. Garrus had brought them back to Omega. Something to do with one of his old team members, but no one would tell her anything more. Garrus didn't think it was something she needed to know about. Half the team had disappeared the second they docked with the station, leaving Jane to wander the ship with a geth guardian.

* * *

"I'm not exactly happy about this arrangement either, Commander." Miranda sat down at her desk and opened her laptop, glancing over to where Jane sat next to the window. "By all reports, you pose a far greater threat to me than I to you."

Jane snorted softly but didn't bother to respond. Instead, she tried to imagine a galaxy with Miranda the driving force behind a renovated Cerberus and a dead batarian wrapping the stole of the Shadow Broker around his shoulders. Could it work? Could Dawn actually be on to something with these plans?

* * *

Jane waved off Miranda now safely within the confines of life support under Thane's watchful gaze. Miranda was calling another meeting, of which she was not allowed to join. Thane stood a few feet from the door, hands tucked neatly behind his back as he dipped his head to Miranda. Miranda returned his nod before ducking back out of the door. Jane turned her attention back to Thane; he didn't move and didn't invite her to sit.

Jane cocked her eyebrow before brushing past the assassin to sit squarely in the middle of his table with her legs tucked under her. "So, how's Kolyat?"

Jane watched as Thane's head dropped, his shoulders rising and falling as he took in a deep breath. He pivoted, turning to face Jane. His eyebrows twitched when he found her sitting on the table. "Kolyat is well. He writes to me regularly. He is learning to be content on Kahje, and Rone has helped him find work."

Thane crossed the floor to stand next to the observation window, the brilliant blue of the drive core a halo behind him. Jane turned on the table to face him squarely, putting her palms out behind her and leaning back. "We haven't had much of a chance to talk yet. I figured you'd have some questions. Some insight or input. Or are you just waiting for the doctors to find a way to kill me too?"

"I—I don't think killing you is the wisest way to deal with your particular circumstances." Thane crossed his arms over his chest.

Jane pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, weighing his words and trying to find the hidden meaning she suspected was there. "Then what _is_ the wisest way to deal with me? Teaching Dawn how to meditate me away?"

"No. I don't believe it would even be possible for her to meditate you away, as you say." Thane gestured at Jane before tucking his hand back beneath his arm. "I simply hope to give her the tools she needs to maintain control over herself and her situation. It's not meant to be a solution, but a means to prevent more drastic measures."

Jane smirked and leaned forward. "You didn't answer the first question."

"Indeed." Thane chuckled. "I think that you are a very troubled woman, Jane. Understandably so. Nevertheless, you have just as much right to live as anyone else."

Jane threw her head back, cynical laughter floating up to the ceiling to echo back at her. "A right to live? That's an interesting view for an assassin. Then again, you never did fail to surprise me with the way you saw things."

Thane watched her, his face stoic until she was done laughing. "I believe that you are part of a whole, not unlike what the drell call 'disconnected'. The trauma you endured—that all of you endured—through these cycles, and more recently with your experience while being revived has kept you … fragmented." Thane dropped his arms, tucking his hands behind his back once more and cleared his throat. "I believe that what is best is for you to find a way to make yourself whole again."

"Disconnected," Jane thought, mulling the idea over.

_"_ _Disconnected,"_ John echoed.

* * *

Miranda sent Garrus and Jacob out with the Hammerhead to fight through rocket drones and take down the barrier surrounding prothean ruins on Kopis. Not that the artifacts they would recover would actually do them any good. It didn't matter though, no matter how much Jane insisted that one mission or another was relatively pointless, Miranda insisted that they check it out anyway. Jane was beginning to wonder if this was more about Miranda enjoying the power trip of being in command than it was about buying time for Dawn.

Lia wrung her hands nervously, watching Jane as she worked at her desk. Jane glanced over at her and smiled. "Relax, Lia. I'm not half as crazy as I'm sure they made me out to be. I'm not going snap and attack you … unless you give me a reason." Jane snorted and shook her head when the young quarian gasped. "I'm surprised they sent you in here by yourself."

"They didn't want to, but I insisted that I could handle myself." Lia lifted her head and squared her shoulders. "Plus, EDI is watching, too, so I'm not really by myself."

"Then why are you so nervous, kid?" Jane arched her eyebrow even as she turned her attention back to her laptop.

"I'm not nervous." Lia cleared her throat. "What makes you think I'm nervous?"

"You mean besides the fact that you're about to wear a hole through your suit if you keep rubbing your hands like that?" Jane clicked on the blinking message icon on her desktop.

Lia dropped her hands to her side. "Oh."

Jane opened a message from Tali, her eyes scanning the words as a toothy grin spread across her face. "EDI, patch me through to Miranda."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

"How can I help you, Commander?" Miranda's voice filtered through the comm system.

"I've just received a message from Tali. She and Kal would like to rejoin the Normandy to help with the attack against the collectors." Jane leaned back in her chair and swiveled to watch the now obviously excited quarian. "I am certain it's what Dawn would want. She was planning an eventual trip to the Migrant Fleet anyway. She wanted to discuss a particular matter regarding Lia with the Admiralty Board."

"Commander, I … I don't disagree that Dawn would want them aboard, and I have no issues with them joining us. I will work them into our schedule. They will, of course, have to be informed of your current status and be warned of the potential danger you present. If I understand correctly, Tali was already informed of your existence, so I don't anticipate that being a problem for her." The weighted pause in Miranda's speech was enough to make Jane loose hope. "However, I can't allow you to engage in conversations with the Admiralty Board. Is this perhaps a conversation that I can have on your behalf?"

Jane scoffed. "No offense Miranda, but I think that would be even more foolish than if I went myself." Jane rocked her chair from side to side and took a deep breath. "But it is one that Garrus—as someone the quarians will recognize as having served with Tali on the old Normandy—might be able to pull off. I'll talk to him."

"Very well, Commander. Is that all?" Miranda asked.

"Yeah." Jane stood up from her desk. "Come on, Lia, we have a grouchy turian to talk to."

* * *

Dr. Chakwas rubbed an alcohol swab over Jane's arm. "Any changes? Signs that Dawn is regaining consciousness?" She tied a tourniquet around Jane's arm, using her omni-tool to locate the vein before sliding the needle into her skin.

"Nope. Nothing today either, doc." Jane closed her eyes against the bright overhead light.

"Hmmm. And what of the others?" Jane could hear the soft beep of Dr. Chakwas omni-tool as she waved it over her head and down her body.

"Same as usual. John's there, can't hear the others until I try to sleep," Jane said.

"Any unusual physical symptoms? Fatigue, joint stiffness, difficulty breathing?" Dr. Chakwas rattled off a list as Jane shook her head.

"You can sit up now, Commander." Dr. Chakwas returned to her desk chair, spinning it around to face Jane as she sat. "How are you handling things otherwise? I know that some of the crew have been less than accepting of you."

Jane sat up, letting her legs dangle over the foot of the bed and shrugged her shoulders. How was she handling things? She was bored out of her mind and being forced to face a crew that was divided on whether or not she should even be allowed to exist. "I'm good, doc. A little restless but good."

"I hear we'll be picking Tali and her friend, Kal, up in a few days. It will be good to see Tali again. Maybe having her around will help ease some of your restlessness, don't you think?" Dr. Chakwas warm smile didn't reach her eyes. Jane could tell she was really starting to worry that Dawn might not recover.

Jane wasn't surprised to realize that she was, too. She'd stopped trying to get to Dawn while her body slept. The voices that egged her on didn't like it. They didn't understand why Jane was suddenly resisting their guidance. The truth was, she was growing stronger the longer she spent in Dawn's body. The chaotic haze that surrounded her thoughts—the doubt, fear, and confusion—was starting to lift. She found herself able to think a little more clearly; see things a little more clearly and she knew that if Dawn never woke up, there was no way they'd win the war. There was no way they'd break the cycle. "Yeah, doc. It'll be great seeing Tali again."

She also knew that the moment Dawn woke up, she'd be trapped inside again, and she didn't think it would take very long for the voices to swallow her whole once more.

* * *

Miranda was off with a team following more leads left behind by Dr. Cayce from Project Firewalker. Jane wasn't even sure which mission she was on anymore. She'd given Miranda everything she could about Project Firewalker and stopped caring. Dawn was never going to wake up and Miranda was running out of things to do. Eventually, they were going to have to face the music and carry on with defeating the collectors. The question was, were they going to do it with or without Jane.

"I've never seen you look so skittish, Jacob." Jane put a forkful of what Gardner called spaghetti in her mouth. The operative sat across from her in the mess hall, his own plate in front of him, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her long enough to get the fork to his mouth.

"Sorry, Commander, but this … I didn't sign on for this. I mean, what am I even supposed to do with this?" Jacob finally looked away, managing to spear and twirl the long noodles on his fork.

"I alarm you more than the collectors?" Jane shook her head in disbelief. "Then Cerberus bringing a dead woman back to life? Then the shit your own father was up to?"

"No, that's not what I meant … I mean, you're supposed to be the commanding officer of this ship. You're supposed to be the problem solver … instead, you _are_ the problem." Jacob shook his head. "I'm not trying to offend you, but you have to see how drastically this changes the mission parameters. If we can't even trust you to not cut open your own head, how can we trust you to lead this mission and stop the collectors? Stop the reapers?"

* * *

"Mordin, please." Jane rubbed her temples. "I don't know what else I can tell you. Can't we just talk about something else—anything else for a while?"

Mordin sniffed. "Last question. Dawn said initially pushed for change, then changed mind. Wanted things to go back to familiar patterns. Why?"

* * *

Finally, they were on their way to get Tali. Jane hoped desperately that having Tali back would help buffer some of the tension between her and Garrus. It was killing her to see him so closed off from her. She'd tried like hell to get him to soften up. She even apologized a million times while running him through Dawn's plan to reveal the geth's ability to speed up the immune process in quarians.

Not even Lia's normally infectious excitement broke through his wall. At least he was done threatening her every time he saw her, and this was the first time he hadn't argued his way out of guard duty. Although, Jane didn't think he was doing a very good job seeing as he kept his back to her eighty percent of the time.

"It's been more than a week, Jane." Garrus had never sounded so defeated to her before. "She's not coming back, is she?"

Jane sat on his cot tucked in the corner of the main battery. His flanging voice shocked her after the long hours of silence and angry glances. Jane sucked in a breath and shook her head slowly. "I don't know, Garrus. I'm sorry."

He chuffed, pressing his palms to the edge of his workbench to brace himself. He shook his head, his back still to her. "Are you, Jane? Are you really? I mean, isn't this what you wanted all along?"

Jane leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees. Her chest squeezed in around her heart, threatening to crush the life right out of her. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper but she knew he'd hear her. "I'm sorry it's hurting you. I know you don't believe me, but that's the last thing I ever wanted to do."

His distressed rumble echoed off the walls before he cut it off. His head dropped, making the spikes of his crest stand up like proud soldiers in the air. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to go to him and pull him to her so she could wrap her arms around him in solace. She knew it would only make things worse, though. There was no solace to be found for him in her embrace.

"I wish I could show you what it's like in there. Then maybe you'd understand why I've been so desperate to get out." Jane ran a hand through her hair before resting it on the back of her neck. "I know it wouldn't matter much to you, you'd still just want her back. But I just wish you could understand what I have to go through."

Garrus lifted his head but kept his back turned, his voice unsteady when he spoke. "I hate that you look like her. Sound like her. I hate … hmmm … I hate that you smell like her. It's like she's dead all over again, and I'm just being haunted by her memory every time I turn around." A sharp keen ripped through his throat, shifting to a growl as he slammed his hands down on the table. "And I'm forced to live with the person who killed her just so I can make sure she doesn't kill everyone else."

Tears welled up in Jane's eyes, spilling over in fat droplets to roll down her cheeks. "She's not dead, Garrus. She's just sleeping."


	36. Chapter 35: Tali'Zorah vas Normandy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, I'm pretty sure this chapter is crap. Sorry it's late as well! It drove me nuts, but I couldn't get it right and keep up with school etc.

**Chapter 35: Tali’Zorah vas Normandy**

            Jane clutched the stack of picture frames to her chest, sharp corners jabbing into her exposed forearms as she sunk into the corner of her cabin, tucked back between her bed and the wall. Jacob sat across the room, watching her while pretending to not watch, from his place on the couch. Tears, hot and thick rolled down Jane’s face, defiant and daring Jacob to comment.

            She spread the frames out on the floor around her, running her fingertips over each of the faces of her fallen comrades. Kaidan, Liara, and Ashley stared back at her, their faces forever frozen in smiles, oblivious in that moment to their fate. There were other pictures, too, pictures of Dawn with Garrus, or Tali. There was a candid shot someone took of Dawn laughing at something Wrex was saying. She didn’t like those pictures as much, it should be her face in those pictures but instead it was Dawn’s staring back at her.

            “Wake up, Dawn. I don’t want this anymore.” Jane’s thoughts stirred something in John, encouraging him to perk up and pay attention, but he remained silent.

            Jane swiped the back of her hand under each eye before picking up the picture of Kaidan, pulling her knees up to her chest so she could balance the frame in front of her face. Each slow, aching thud of her heart felt like a knock on death’s door. She would welcome death; eagerly embrace it even, if she knew for sure it would truly be the end.

            “The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.” Jane’s thoughts brought John a little closer to her consciousness, but graciously he didn’t speak.

“Kaidan.” Her voice cracked; a whisper turning into a croak. Jane glanced at Jacob, assuring herself he was out of earshot before returning her eyes to the image in front of her. “Kaidan I’m sorry. I know you can’t hear me, you’re dead and gone again, but I’m still here.” Jane swallowed, trying to push down the knot building in her throat. “Who knows, maybe you can hear me, and I just can’t hear you. Wouldn’t that be something? I spent so long where no one could hear me, and they didn’t even know I was there until it was too late for them, too.”

            She frowned, brushing tears from her face again and tracing trembling fingertips over Kaidan’s face. “I loved you, you know? I don’t know how I could have forgotten that. I think I would’ve liked the chance to see you again, you know, face to face. Even if it isn’t my face. I’m proud of you, though, Kaidan. You did the right thing. The honorable thing.”

Jane shifted her feet, pulling her knees in closer to her chest, trying to soothe the ache cutting through her core. “She was … we were just trying to save you. You and Ash both. But now you’re both dead anyway. We’re just trying to fix this whole mess, you get that, don’t you Kaidan?” A desperate, strangled sobbed ripped its way from her throat.

            “Shepard?” The alarm in Jacob’s voice was unmistakable.

            Jane looked up at her name, meeting his gaze from across the room and shook her head. “I’m fine.” Jacob frowned, but mercifully looked away, leaving her to her own little pocket of pretend privacy.

            “They all hate me now, Kaidan. Well, I guess not _all_ of them, but a lot of them.” Jane’s fingers clenched around the edges of the frame, turning her knuckles white. “Garrus … Garrus hates me. I think you’d hate me now, too.”

            The soft hissing of the door sliding open jerked Jane’s attention away from the photo pressed against her knees. She craned her neck, trying to see over the partitioning wall. The familiar lilt of Tali’s voice reached her ears, her heart raced in response as she scrambled to her feet. Jane didn’t even know they’d reached the Migrant Fleet. They’d stopped telling her where they were going, and she’d stopped asking.

She took two halting steps, the picture of Kaidan hanging loosely, all but forgotten, from her fingertips. “Tali?”

            Jacob stood, glancing between the doorway and Jane. She thought she heard Tali’s voice again, hushed and urgent. She rushed for the stairs, an excited smile drying her tears, but faltered halfway when Garrus appeared at the top of the steps. Mandibles flaring, his chin lifted as he drank in the scent of her pity party before stepping down into the room. Jane took a few steps back, lingering near the foot of her bed in confusion. Garrus tuned his head, looking up past the stairs and nodded. A second later, Tali made her way down with Kal.

            Jane turned her attention to her favorite quarian, the hope and longing spilling over her in such ferocious waves that for a moment she forgot to be cautious. She dropped the photo to her bed, forgetting everyone else but Tali and rushed forward. “Tali!”

            The sound of pistols whirring to life stopped her in her tracks. Her eyes darted, zeroing in on the source of the treat. Garrus and Jacob both had their weapons trained on her, and Kal’s hand hovered over his. Jacob at least had the courtesy to aim at her legs; Garrus had her dead to rights.

            “Keelah! Garrus Vakarian! Put that away!” Tali’s voice screeched with all the authority the tiny thing could muster, slapping his armored chest with enough unexpected force to make him take a step back.

            Garrus looked at Tali, his mandibles fluttering in surprise. Tali stared him down, her hands on her hips. “I said put it away. Keelah se’lai, you bosh’tet, it’s Shepard.” Tali turned to Jacob, the weight of her glare heavy even through her mask. “And you, too.”

Jacob had the sense to look embarrassed, but Garrus growled, making his frustration crystal clear. “ _That_ is _not_ Shepard.”

Jane’s jaw clenched. She sucked in a deep breath through her stuffy nose, her hands balling into fists at her side. “I’m not going to hurt her, Garrus.”

“Of course you’re not.” Tali opened her arms, moving toward Jane despite her aggressive stance.

Kal stopped her, a hand wrapped around her wrist. “Tali, you need to take Dr. Chakwas warnings seriously.”

Tali jerked her arm free, scoffing in Kal’s face before turning back to Jane. She took another step, her arms held wide. That was all the welcome Jane needed. Tossing aside her worry over Garrus and the others, she rushed to close the distance. Throwing her arms around Tali, Jane buried her face in the quarian’s neck and released a soul-shattering sob. Tali smoothed Jane’s hair, humming and shushing gently in her ear. Jane squeezed her eyes closed, willing everyone else but Tali to go away. The door hissed opened and closed, but the quiet shuffling of feet nearby remained.

Only when the spasms of her chest and shoulders stilled, and the tears began drying on her cheeks, did she dare to speak. “I’m so glad you’re here.” Jane pulled back, holding Tali at arm’s length so she could see her luminescent eyes. Her cheeks ached with the strain of her grin. “I’ve got so much to tell you. Oh! Your father? Have you heard from him? How is he? Did they tell you about Lia and Legion yet?”

Tali giggled, running a gloved hand over Jane’s hair again. “I’m happy to see you, too. My father is fine; we can talk about him later. I’ve only been told that Lia and Legion have something to show me. Garrus said that you wanted to talk to the Admiralty Board about it, but they’re sending him instead.” Tali glanced at Garrus who nodded. “He wanted you to explain it first, to see if I thought it was a good idea.”

Jane stole a peek at Garrus, relieved to see he’d put his pistol away. He fluttered his mandibles; his eyes alert to her every movement. She turned back to Tali and pursed her lips. “I think it’s probably better to let Lia explain, if that’s alright?”

“Sure, if that’s what you want. Where is she? I didn’t see her on my way in.” Tali let her hand slip away from Jane, and Jane took a step back. With the natural balance between the two women restored, Jane felt her commander mask slipping comfortably back into place.

“I’m not sure. Probably the AI core. EDI?” Jane looked toward EDI’s access node, even though she couldn’t see it from where she stood.

“That is correct, Shepard. Lia and Legion are in the AI core. Would you like for me to ask them to join you?” EDI’s voice filled the room.

“Yes, thanks, EDI.” Jane glanced around the room, noting Jacob’s absence with utter apathy.

“Very well, Shepard.” EDI hadn’t been very keen on telling Jane that she was welcome. In fact, the AI seemed so reluctant to speak to Jane at all that she wondered if Miranda had ordered EDI to respond to Jane.

“They’ll be here soon, I’m sure.” Jane gestured to the couch, moving to sit down herself. “I know Lia was very excited to hear you two were coming back to the Normandy.”

Kal chuckled, taking Tali’s hand in his own. “I’m not surprised, Tali has a way of winning over hearts.”

Jane grinned as Kal led Tali to the couch by the hand. She always wanted to see the two of them together, and it made her heart swell to know that somehow things had worked themselves out for them in this life. It was obvious to her that Kal had ulterior motives, seating himself between Tali and Jane, but she didn’t mind. She couldn’t begrudge the quarian for wanting to protect the woman he so clearly loved. Garrus sat down on Tali’s opposite side, sandwiching her in between the two of them.

Jane cleared her throat, turning her attention to Kal. “Oh, I think you both won over Lia’s heart. She was just as excited when she learned you’d be accompanying Tali. Happy to have you aboard, by the way.”

Kal dipped his head, his voice still bordering on cautious but not lacking in respect as he said, “Thank you, ma’am. Happy to be aboard.”

A few moments later, the cabin door opened again. Jane stood to welcome Lia and Legion, but Garrus cut her off, blocking the foot of the stairs. Jane’s face must have shown the ache in her heart, because Tali leaned past Kal to pat Jane’s knee as she sat back down. Jane couldn’t read Kal easily—barely knowing the marine hidden behind the envirosuit—but she saw his spine stiffen and heard the muffled scoff, and she thought it was directed at Garrus. Perhaps she might make an ally out of him yet. Jane lifted her shoulder in a shrug, plastering a reassuring smile on her face for Tali’s sake.

“Bosh’tet,” Tali said under her breath, glaring at Garrus.

Lia appeared at the top of the stairs first, nodding at Garrus before moving past him, making a beeline for the other quarians. Tali stood, giving Lia a hug before sliding out of the way so Kal could shake her hand.

Legion stopped next to Jane, his looming presence calming to her. Unlike the others, even EDI, Legion had no real opinion on Jane and her place in the grand scheme of things and seemed just as loyal to Jane as to Dawn, accepting them as nothing more than two of many programs running in the same platform. Incidentally, Legion, unlike the others, was also the only one who would feel absolutely nothing—neither regret nor glee—in slipping a syringe into her neck if the need arose. The reasoning was explained to him, he was given his orders, and he would do as expected should she step outside of the parameters of acceptable behavior.

Jane stood, resting her fingertips on the armored plating of Legion’s upper arm. “Legion, you remember Tali and Kal, I’m sure?”

“Yes. We offer greeting to the creators.” Legion surprised Jane by extending his hand to Tali and Kal.

Jane was pleased to see that the two quarians accepted Legion’s offer and shook his hand, though it was clear they still weren’t exactly comfortable in his presence. She motioned Lia over to the couch, letting her sit down next to Kal. Even with plenty of room for everyone on the couch, Jane decided to remain standing. This was Lia’s moment, and although it fascinated and pleased her, she wasn’t really a part of it.

“Lia, why don’t you go ahead and tell Tali and Kal about your, ah, project.” Jane smiled, nodding encouragingly when the young quarian looked up at her.

Lia turned back to the others, and much like she did when she first showed Dawn, she decided to let her actions speak for themselves. Lia reached up and popped the hermetic seals of her mask. Tali and Kal both gasped, their hands darting out to stop her.

“Lia! No! What are you doing?!” Tali screeched, her hand slamming down over Lia’s and holding the mask in place.

Jane chortled. Garrus glared at her, flicking his mandibles in agitation.

“No, it’s alright.” Lia gently pushed at them with her free hand. “Let me show you.”

Tali looked to Jane, who smiled and said, “Trust her, it’s a good thing.”

Tali and Kal shared a glance before Tali took her hand away, Kal following her lead a moment later. Lia slipped the mask from her face, settling it into her lap. Jane watched as Garrus’ mandibles flared, and the iris of his visor spun out of control, undoubtedly mapping the details of her face.

It wasn’t the first quarian’s face he’d seen, Jane knew. They’d never talked about it but reports on the Shadow Broker’s ship claimed Archangel once killed a quarian by coughing on them. Jane figured that meant he had to rip their mask off and get right in their face. Otherwise, their suit would have locked down the breach and pumped them full of antibiotics.

Then again, that was her Garrus. Maybe this Garrus never did that, maybe this really was the first time he’d seen a quarian’s face. Jane felt the desperate urge to ask, but she doubted he would answer. It hardly seemed the appropriate time for such a conversation, anyway.

Garrus turned his attention to her, his mandibles snapping in tight around his jaws when he found her staring at him. She thought, for just a second, a fraction of a second really, that she saw an ounce of compassion there. He turned away from her, throwing ice water on the warmth that dared to flicker inside of her.

 _“Just let him go, Jane. You’re only hurting yourself and making it harder for him,”_ John said.

“Never.” The fierceness of her thoughts brought a spike of adrenaline coursing through her veins.

Garrus’ head snapped back to her, his brow dipping low as the iris of his visor contracted. Jane tore her eyes from Garrus and focused on Lia, aware that she’d already missed half of the conversation going on around her.

Lia looked back and forth between Legion and the quarians as she talked. “Really, it’s something that could be done for all of us. Legion and the other geth _want_ to help us; they _want_ us to come back to Rannoch. They never wanted a war with us.”

Kal scooted a little closer to the edge of his seat, the marine in him barely keeping his excitement contained. “You aren’t getting sick at all?”

“No, not exactly.” Lia glanced back at Jane and Legion. “Just not as much. I’ve adapted fairly well to the Normandy at this point, but whenever someone new comes aboard, there’s a new adjustment to be made. If I were to take my mask off in the middle of the Citadel, my immune system wouldn’t be able to handle it any better than yours.”

Tali turned to Jane, her glowing eyes boring holes through Jane’s defenses. She could feel the fury radiating off of one of her oldest friends, and it twisted her stomach into knots. She held her palms out. “Hey, it wasn’t my idea. The first I learned about it, Lia was taking off her mask to show Dawn in the AI core. I mean, I knew it was something Legion could do, but everything with Lia is new to me.”

“It was my decision. I didn’t tell anyone until I knew it was working, and I made Legion promise not to either.” Lia moved to stand on Legion’s other side. “Well, I convinced him not broach the topic with anyone on his own, but still.”

“We did not intend to upset you, Creator Zorah. We only saw a solution to the creators’ problem and offered assistance.” Legion shifted next to Jane, putting himself ever so slightly between her and the upset quarian sitting on the couch.

Garrus cleared his throat, pulling everyone’s attention to him. He turned on the couch, facing Tali more squarely. “Shepard—Dawn.” He cleared his throat again, pain dancing across his crystal blue eyes. “Dawn wanted—wants to bring this information to the Admiralty Board. She hopes it will help broker peace between your people and the geth. Some of what Jane’s experienced proves that peace is possible, under the right circumstances.” Garrus glanced at Jane long enough to catch her nod before turning his attention back to Tali. “Miranda isn’t willing to let Jane speak to the Admiralty Board … hmmm … so I’ve been prepped to discuss it with them on Dawn’s behalf. They having someone you know personally would, uh, would be a better call then sending in someone in Cerberus colors. But I won’t do this, Tali, not without your say so.”

The room erupted into chatter; only she and Legion remained quiet. Jane cleared her throat, and when that didn’t bring silence, she started speaking loud enough to be heard above the din. “In less than a full cycle the reapers will be here in force.” Jane paused when all eyes riveted to her, mouths suddenly speechless. “They’ll hit Earth, Palaven, Thessia, Tuchanka … and even Rannoch.”

“Rannoch? Why Rannoch?” Tali sat up a little straighter, concern filling her voice.

“Because they aren’t satisfied with the number of geth they’ve been able to convert. They want them all, and any they can’t get, they’re willing to kill. Meanwhile, the quarian’s will be assembling, ready to go to war.” Jane rolled her shoulders, taking her time meeting the gazes of each quarian present.

“Well, with all due respect, ma’am, where else would we be when the reapers invade?” Kal asked.

“Oh, you won’t be ready to go to war against the reapers. You’ll be ready to go to war against the geth.” Jane crossed her arms, staring down the startled marine.

“The geth?” Kal’s spine stiffened, his glowing eyes shifting back to Legion.

“What? No!” Lia stepped in front of Legion, in what Jane suspected was an unconscious attempt to shield him from the other quarians.

“Shepard-Commander?” Legion’s head swiveled to her. “The geth do not want war with the creators.”

Jane frowned and nodded. “I know, Legion. And I’ll do—Dawn will … .” Jane raked a hand through her hair and heaved a heavy sigh. “ _We_ will do everything that we can to keep that from happening. Unfortunately, I have yet to see it be completely avoided in all of my lives. The quarians were taught a different history than what you know, Legion. They didn’t have the luxury of being able to archive audio and visual footage for future generations … and perhaps a few simply didn’t want the truth to be known.”

Jane stepped away from the geth to pace the floor, the weight of everyone’s stare resting heavily on her shoulders. “Most quarians believe that the geth started the Morning War. That you attacked them. That you chased them from their homes, and they blame you for their current state.”

“That _is_ what happened!” Tali’s voice, though stubborn, shook with doubt.

Jane stopped to meet her friend’s gaze, letting every ounce of empathy she had for the plight of the quarians seep into her voice. “No, Tali. I’m sorry, but it’s not.” She resumed her pacing. “When the reapers hit, the quarians seize the opportunity. They believe the geth are vulnerable and mount an attack. As to be expected, the geth defended themselves. A lot of lives are lost on both sides.”

 _“Should you really be telling them this? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Jane, I want this thing to work, too. But I’m not sure Tali’s willing to hear it, and who knows how the geth consensus will decide to respond?”_ John asked.

“It’s what Dawn would do, isn’t it?” Jane snapped, her face reddening when she realized she spoke the words out loud.

She spun around, looking at the startled organics and rubbing the back of her neck. “Sorry. Anyway, I was saying … I can’t stand here and give you every last detail. I don’t even have all of the details, and it would take far too long to convey everything I do know.” Jane sighed, letting her hand drop, slapping it against her thigh.

“But what I can tell you, is that sometimes we’ve been able to talk the quarians down long enough to consider the idea that maybe, just maybe, the geth didn’t want to fight.” Jane threw her hands up in the air. “That the geth will actually welcome you home, and you can all live in peace.” She ran her hands through her hair and left them grasping the top of her head for a moment.

Jane spun around, moving back to the group with fast enough strides that Garrus rose to block her path. “Sorry, no it’s just … I’m not going to hurt anyone, I promise. I’m just ….”

Garrus nodded, his mandibles flaring as he scented the air around her. “Excited.”

“Yeah,” Jane whispered, dropping her gaze to the three feet of empty floor between the two of them.

Garrus eased back, reclaiming his seat on the couch next to Tali. Jane pushed forward, keeping the coffee table between herself and those on the couch. “Don’t you see? This could be the thing that keeps that war from ever happening? The quarians and the geth can make peace now. Now!” She ignored the mania welling up inside of her, echoing off the inside of her skull as the unheard chorus of Shepards agreed with her. “If you can get them to hear Garrus out, if they’ll at least agree to consider the possibility that maybe what Legion has been saying all along is the truth and the geth _want_ the quarians to come back to Rannoch and live peaceful lives. To coexist!”

 _“Easy now, Jane. You’re getting everyone riled up, inside and out.”_ John warned.

“I don’t know, Shepard ….” Tali wrung her hands, glancing at Kal. “Well, say something! And don’t give me that ‘I’m just a marine, ma’am’ crap.”

Kal chuckled, turning his head to scan everyone in the room. His eyes lingered on Legion and Lia standing next to him, her face exposed for all to see. “I think that at the very least, we have a duty to tell the Admiralty Board of this. The implications are … astounding.”

“Shepard, maybe we should take a minute to discuss this alone. Kal and I, I mean … and Lia.” Tali glanced back at Lia, just a quick flutter of her eyes as if seeing the girl without her mask was too much for her to look at for too long.

“Oh.” Jane took a step back, biting her lip. “Yeah, sure. Totally.”

Lia slipped her mask back into place, reengaging the seals and led Tali and Kal out of Jane’s cabin. Garrus walked with them to the door, talking too low for Jane to hear before coming back down the stairs to watch her. Jane paced a few steps before returning to her corner, collecting Kaidan’s picture off the bed as she went. She slid down the wall, pulling the photos in around her and rested her chin on her knees.

“How you doing over there, Legion? That was a lot of info I just threw at you. What’s the consensus?” Jane watched as the geth pivoted to face her, staying in the same location.

Garrus fluttered his mandibles, turning his attention to Legion as well. Jane could see the hint of unease etched into his features, and she wondered what was going on inside that thick skull of his.

“The geth have anticipated hostile actions by the creators since the creators left the Perseus Veil. We have been monitoring organic transmissions, and have found no reason to suspect immediate hostile actions.” Legion flared the plates around his optics. “We require further data to form a consensus.”

“You have questions?” Jane leaned her head against the wall, keeping her eyes on Legion.

“Yes.” Legion bobbed his head.

“Go ahead. I’ll answer what I can,” Jane said, steeling herself for a lot of questions she didn’t have the answers to.

Jane spent the next half hour answering questions about future encounters between the geth and the quarians, all the while painfully aware that the bulk of what she knew might not even occur in this new, strange world Dawn created. It was not without surprise that Legion soon switched tracks to discuss the reaper’s role in the advancement of the geth. John squirmed restlessly in the back of Jane’s mind, warning her that everything she said would potentially alter future events beyond what she might anticipate.

Knowing that the quarians would attack under a particular set of circumstances might cause the geth to begin countermeasures before those events occurred. Telling Legion that the geth agree to subject themselves to the ‘Old Machines’, in exchange for upgrades to help them fight the quarians, might urge Legion into the reaper’s hands sooner. Telling him that with these upgrades, his people would become something that he himself would one day refer to as ‘beautiful’ might incentivize geth cooperation with the reapers.

Jane didn’t know how this would change things, or what level of FUBAR mess it would create but she knew one thing: Dawn would’ve done the same thing. She’d have given them the chance to forge their own path, draw their own conclusions, and make their own mistakes. She could tell that Garrus thought the same thing as he watched her, brow plates furrowed, mandibles dancing out a varied rhythm over his face. She couldn’t smell him the way he could smell her, but she was willing to bet that he reeked of trepidation. They both did.

Jane pushed herself up from the floor, using the edge of the bed for support and gathered up the photos of her dead friends. She carefully set them back where they belonged, glancing at Legion over her shoulder as the geth processed the new information. “You know, Legion … I don’t know how yet, but we can find a way to get the geth those upgrades without you having to give yourselves over to the reapers, even for a short time.”

“Shepard’s right,” Garrus said, pulling the geth’s attention to him. “We know where there’s a derelict reaper. Maybe we can find something there to help.”

Jane grinned at Garrus, cocking her hip and crossing her arms over her chest.

His mandibles fluttered, and he shifted his weight uncomfortably. “What?”

“You called me Shepard.” Jane shrugged. “Are we making progress?”

Garrus chuffed, his mask of contempt slamming back down over his face and crossed his arms. Jane frowned and let out a slow breath, turning her attention back to Legion.

“It’s not really all that derelict, trust me on that. But, he has a point. Usually it’s where I first meet you.” Jane moved to stand in front of Legion. “You were there looking into the reaper’s programing. Trying to figure them out so you could stop the virus they’re using against the geth to force assimilation.”

The cabin door opened, letting the three quarians back into the room before Legion could respond. Everyone remained standing as Tali, Kal, and Lia filed down the steps and came to a stop in front of Jane. Garrus moved closer, standing a few feet away from Jane, his attention focused on the quarians that faced her. Jane glanced at Legion and bit her lower lip, her shoulder muscles tensing as she waited for Tali to tell her what they decided.

Tali stopped wringing her hands and squared her shoulders. “We think that it is best if we wait a while longer before bringing this to the Admiralty Board.” She glanced at Garrus, tilting her head down at an angle. “No offense, Garrus, but I think it should wait until Shepard is … feeling better. I think she should be there. And, this will give us time to evaluate Lia’s progress and the process involved. We need to be certain of what this means, and what the geth are offering before we take this to the Migrant Fleet. This is too big to rush.”

Garrus let out a pent up breath and laughed, shaking his head. “None taken.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I wasn’t exactly looking forward to being the one to tell the Admiralty Board they should let geth programs into their suits and make peace.”

“Shepard?” The uncertainty hung heavy in the air around Tali.

Jane shrugged. “Don’t look at me.” She turned to Legion, the others following suit. “Legion? That work for the geth?”

The plates around Legion’s optics flared, and he dipped his head. “Yes.”

“Alright then, I guess I’ll let Miranda know. It’s time for me to check in with her anyway.” Jane ran her fingers through her hair, the prospect of spending time with Miranda not quite as daunting as it was a couple of weeks before, but still unnerving.

Garrus started toward the steps. “I’ll take you down there and then help Tali and Kal get settled in. Grunt will be spending the rest of the evening with you, and then Thane has you overnight.”

“Fantastic.” Jane didn’t try to hide the sarcasm in her voice. Grunt was swiftly becoming one of her least favorite guards. He’d barely make conversation with her, and when he did it was mostly to remind her that she wasn’t Dawn, and she was weak. Half the time she suspected he was caught in an existential dilemma between wanting to kill her, and knowing it would also kill his ‘true battlemaster’.

Garrus flicked his mandibles in response but didn’t say anything. Jane started to follow him when Tali reached out and grabbed her hand. She turned back to her friend, with a raised eyebrow.

“I can walk her down there, Garrus.” Tali tugged gently at Jane’s hand, urging her to Tali’s side. “I’m sure Lia can help Kal, and I can find them later. Unless you have nothing better to do?”

Garrus stopped, turning back to look at their joined hands. “Tali, I don’t think you really understand—.” He paused when Tali lifted her wrist, fiddling with her omni-tool. “What are you doing?”

“Maybe Chatika will remind you that I can take care of myself.” Her fingers ran over the keys, hovering over the last one that would summon her combat drone and looked back up at Garrus.

Jane fought to suppress a grin while Kal and Lia chuckled beside her.

Garrus held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright. Just … be careful.”

Lia looped an arm through Legion’s. “Come with us, Legion? There’s a lot to talk about.”

“Yes, Creator Vael.” Legion shifted, accommodating Lia’s arm on his own in a way that spoke of far more familiarity than Jane had ever expected to see between the two.

The room cleared out, leaving Jane standing with Tali. “It really is so good to see you, Tali. I was nervous, I didn’t know how you would take to the news that I was … huh, I was going to say ‘running the show’ but that isn’t very accurate considering Anderson has effectively stripped me of power.”

“I can’t believe they’re all treating you like this, Shepard!” Tali’s voice raised an octave in her outrage.

Jane rubbed the back of her neck and shook her head. “No, Tali. I hate to admit it—he and I haven’t been on the best of terms—but Garrus is right. I’ve put him and Dawn through hell. I understand why no one wants to trust me, I just wish he could see that I’m trying to make things right.”

Tali wrapped her arms around herself in something that resembled more of a hug than anything else, her voice low and soft when she spoke. “Did you really shoot him?”

Jane snorted and rubbed her forehead. “It barely grazed him!”

“Shepard!” Tali shifted her hands to her hips, scolding Jane.

“It’s complicated, Tali.” Jane started making her way to the stairs. If she didn’t check in with Miranda soon, they’d send someone else after her to drag her down kicking and screaming. “I wasn’t in my right mind. I’m still not … not completely, but I’m getting better. For now.”

“What happened?” Tali followed her up the stairs, pausing to look at Spike.

“Long story short, Mordin implanted us with a device created from technology taken from the collectors. Reaper tech, really. It masks us from the collector’s swarms, acts as an IFF.” Jane reached back, running her fingers along the base of her skull where she swore she could still feel the device. “The idea scared the hell out of me, Tali. I begged Dawn not to let him do it, but she did anyway.”

Jane chewed on the inside of her cheek, tasting blood as the muscles in her chest constricted, old panic starting to bubble to the surface. “I guess you’d say I had a panic attack. I … forced my way out, locked myself in the bathroom, and tried to cut it back out on my own. I could feel the damn thing moving around inside of me.” Jane shuddered, dropping her hand to her side.

“EDI alerted Garrus that something was wrong and he came up to check on me. I pulled my pistol on him, just trying to get him to stand down because I _had_ to get that damn thing out of me.” She stared into Tali’s glowing orbs, silently begging her to understand. “He tried to talk me down, and when that wouldn’t work, he lunged at me. I’ve played that moment over and over in my head since then, trying to convince myself that it was an accident, that I didn’t mean to pull the trigger but honestly I don’t know. I know I never meant to seriously hurt him.”

“Keelah se’lai.” Her voice came through barely above a whisper. Tali rubbed a hand up and down her other arm. “You helped him though, after that I mean?”

Jane shook her head. “I never got the chance. Garrus was the distraction, keeping me focused on him while Thane entered the bathroom through the maintenance access or something.” Jane shrugged. “I don’t know. You’d have to ask him. To be honest, I’ve never been entirely convinced he doesn’t just teleport with as stealthy as he is. Anyway, right after that, Thane took me down.”

“Teleportation has not been proven to be a scientific viability. No species shows any record of having achieved such a feat, Shepard.” EDI’s hologram popped up next to Jane. “Hello, Ms. Zorah, or would you prefer Tali?”

“Dawn unshackled her. Well, really, she had Legion do it. But she’s been working her way through the crew, updating name preferences.” Jane explained when Tali stared at EDI’s interface blankly. “It’s alright. EDI’s not very fond of me personally, but right now the majority in the know aren’t. I still love her, and trust her implicitly.”

“I do not experience fondness, Shepard,” said EDI.

“You will. One of these days, EDI, you will. In fact, I’d be willing to bet you already are and just haven’t realized what it is yet.” Jane smiled at the interface.

EDI didn’t respond.

“Uh, I suppose Tali is fine, EDI,” Tali said.

“Very well, Tali. I have updated your preferences. Shepard, Miranda is waiting for you in her office.” EDI’s holographic display folded in on itself and winked out of existence.

“She really doesn’t like me. I blame Joker.” Jane opened the door to her cabin and stepped out into the foyer, hitting the elevator call button. “I’m not allowed in the cockpit, and he won’t talk to me at all.”

They stepped inside the elevator when the doors opened, and Jane hit the button for the third deck. “So, catch me up on everything. How’s your father?”

“Oh, Father is as well as can be expected. We talk when we can, but he is still upset with me. I don’t know that he’ll ever forgive me completely, Shepard.” Her voice trembled, and she wrapped her arms back around herself. “I think some of the members of the Admiralty Board admired his efforts to forge weapons against the geth, even if his methods were unsafe. I think they helped to sway the others into giving him a small measure of leniency, providing him with a stable ship and enough supplies to last him until he can recover from the loss.”

“How is the Migrant Fleet dealing with his research?” Jane waited in the elevator, even though it had stopped, the doors opening on the third deck.

Tali started wringing her wrists more vigorously than Jane recalled ever seeing before. “I may not have told them everything … Shepard, I had to protect him somehow! I know that if I didn’t report him, it would lead to his death—to the death of everyone on the Alarei—but did that really mean that I had to brand him as one of the worst criminals in all the history of the Migrant Fleet?!”

Jane put her hand on Tali’s shoulder and squeezed. “No, Tali. No it doesn’t. I just hope that your father isn’t going to try to pick up where he left off.”

“He won’t, Shepard! He won’t. He promised me.” Tali sniffled, her voice thick with restrained tears.

Jane patted her shoulder and nudged her toward the deck. “Then in the end, that’s what matters. He’s alive and safe, and will stay that way.”

They left the elevator, rounding the corner toward Miranda’s office. Tali nodded her head, leaning into Jane’s hand. “They want me to take over the Alarei.” She scoffed and shook her head. “As if I could do that. It would be like—what is it you say?—kicking my father while he’s down?” Tali nodded to herself. “Besides, that would mean leaving the Neema entirely … and it would mean that I wouldn’t be able to be here for you now.”

“Captain Tali’Zorah vas Alarei. That would’ve been quite the honor, though. That’s a hell of a thing to pass up. Not that I’m complaining, I might have mentioned it already, but I’m damn glad you’re here, Tali.” Jane patted her shoulder again. “Damn glad.”

Tali giggled and then sniffled again. They stopped outside of Miranda’s door, and Jane turned to face Tali. “I like the sound of Tali’Zorah vas Normandy better anyway. Too bad I ruined that one by getting you to save your father.” Jane pushed the release on Miranda’s door, and the doors slid open behind her.

“Tali’Zorah vas Normandy. Hmm, it does have a certain ring to it.” Tali turned to walk away, glancing back over her shoulder. “Maybe Captain Tali’Zorah vas Normandy someday?”

Jane grinned and stepped inside Miranda’s office.

 


	37. Chapter 36: Across the Sea

**Chapter 36: Across the Sea**

All hell broke loose around them, cacophonous wails of fury, delighted shouts of glee, but a handful stood aside listening and waiting to see where the tides would take them. For the first time since it all began, the veil was down, and the door open. Anyone could step through. Everyone seemed too busy to notice, though, what with the excitement going on all around. Everyone except Brooke. And Brooke knew Thane waited for her on the other side.

She stirred, reaching out for the expanse separating her from her love. He said he would wait for her across the sea. She died, she remembered that, but she didn't get to cross the sea. "Is this the sea?"

"I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go." Roger's voice echoed back to her in response.

"We shouldn't be here. What if she sees? She's going to be angry." Sarah pushed against Brooke, urging her to leave.

"How do I get across the sea? Thane's waiting. He must be very tired of waiting for me." Brooke willed herself forward. "How do I …?" She felt something slip, something shift inside of herself. "That's it, I think." Brooke pushed again, and then relaxed into the feeling, letting herself slip away.

She opened her eyes, jerking upright in the bed. Gasping for air, she coughed and gagged on the utter unfamiliarity of breathing again. "Oh!" She ran her hands down her body, gasping again as flesh and bone met flesh and bone.

"Shepard?" Thane's voice cut through the giddy haze surrounding Brooke's thoughts.

Her head jerked around, spotting the man she loved sitting on a couch—her couch, in her cabin—a few feet away. Her breath caught in her throat, tears welling up in her eyes. "Thane!" She grabbed the blankets, flinging them off and pushing her legs over the edge of the bed.

"I urge caution, Thane. Current biometric scans show erratic brain activity." EDI's blue hologram contrasted with the red glow of the fish tank.

Brooke squinted her eyes at the fish tank. Something was wrong with it. It wasn't supposed to be red.

"Thank you, EDI." Caution filled Thane's voice.

His words drew Brooke's attention back to him, her smile returning anew, all worry over the fish tank gone for the moment. She watched him as he leaned forward, settling the datapad in his hand to the coffee table. The dim light made it difficult for her to see him. She wanted to see him, all of him, every last detail of his face in front of her. Why was he so far away?

She slid forward, pushing the soles of her feet into the floor and stood. Wobbling, trying to get used to having legs and feet again, Brooke tested out the new sensation by taking a shaky step forward. "Oh my God. Thane. You're here. Thank God, you're here."

Thane stood, as gracefully as she ever remembered him being and edged around the coffee table, tucking his hands behind his back. Shadows danced over his face, keeping his features hidden from her still, he took slow strides forward. "Shepard, what's wrong?"

Brooke, feeling more confident on her feet, rushed toward him. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I tried to get here sooner but I couldn't! I couldn't get across the sea."

Thane took a step to the side, and held a hand up palm out. Brooke halted in her steps, confusion washing over her. Why did he tell her to stop? Wasn't he happy to see her? She whimpered, rocking back and forth, bringing her hands up to wring in front of her.

"Across the sea?" Thane asked, taking a hesitant step closer. "You're not—I haven't died … yet, in this life."

"What? No." Brooke shook her head. "You died, I was there. Kei Leng stabbed you—you—you saved the dalatrass, and—and—and then you died in the hospital. Kolyat was there with me, we read a prayer together and …." Brooke brought a palm up pressing it into her temple, shaking her head more vigorously. "I was there! You were going to wait for me across the sea, and I'm here now." Brooke raised her other hand, forming it into a fist and slamming it against her thigh. "I'm here now!" She raised the fist to her other temple, digging her palm against the hollow. "I'm here. Why—why are you doing this? I don't understand." She slammed her palms against her temples, tears streaming down her face. "I don't—."

Thane moved to her, taking her hands in his, keeping her from hitting herself again. "My apologies. Please, be still."

"I do not believe this is either Dawn or Jane. I believe another Shepard has broken through." EDI's voice filled the cabin. "She seems to be presenting genuine confusion about her circumstances. I have alerted Dr. Chakwas, and she is on her way."

"Thank you, EDI." Thane eased Brooke's hands away from her head, allowing her to hold onto his hands instead.

She squeezed his hands in her own, marveling at how solid he felt—how solid they both felt—she had him again, could feel him again, and she'd never let go. Staring up into the black pools of his eyes, she trembled; fear and confusion consuming her. "I've missed you so much." A sob tore its way through her chest, and the tears began to fall in a heavy deluge. "I don't understand."

Sadness tugged at those beautiful lips of his. Thane turned his hands, trying to pull them free. Brooke panicked, grasping for him wildly. He shushed her, a hand on her elbow, letting her fall into his embrace.

"I do not believe that is wise, Thane," EDI said.

He didn't respond to EDI, instead he wrapped his arms around Brooke, stroking a calming hand down the back of her head. She clung to him as if they were both adrift in the sea, and he her only life raft. Breathing deeply, she pulled his scent into her lungs and held it there, desperately trying to quiet the wailing pushing its way past her throat.

Nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck, she planted little kisses all over his soft scales. "I missed you so much. I love you. God, I love you so much."

Thane hummed in response, the gentle sound rumbling through his chest and into hers. The cabin door hissed open, and Thane turned to look over his shoulder. Brooke lifted her hand to his face, willing his attention back to her.

"What's happened? What's wrong?" Dr. Chakwas voice intruded on Brooke's reunion.

"I don't want to talk to her, make her go away. I just want to be here with you," Brooke whispered against Thane's neck.

"Shepard …." Thane tried to pull himself away from her.

Brooke whimpered and clung to him. "No, you call me Siha. Call me Siha."

"Siha." The word seemed to catch in his throat, coming out as little more than a rasp. "Siha, the doctor needs to speak with you. Please."

"No. I—I'm tired. I just want to be here with you. Why can't I just be here with you?" Brooke buried her face deeper into Thane's neck and shoulder, her fingers fisting around his jacket. "Please don't leave me again."

"I … I'll stay with you, Siha, but you must talk to the doctor," Thane said, a firm edge to his voice at the end.

"Commander, we need to take you down to the med bay. EDI has informed me of erratic brain activity." Dr. Chakwas placed a hand on Brooke's back.

Brooke looked up, turning just enough to see Dr. Chakwas concern filled face. Garrus stood a few feet behind her, his mandibles tight against his face. Brooke smiled a moment, and then realization hit. If Dr. Chakwas and Garrus where here with her, then they'd gone to the sea, too.

"Are you dead, too?" Brooke whispered.

Dr. Chakwas blinked a few times, her hand falling away from Brooke. Garrus' mandibles flared, his brow plates dipping low on his face. He looked up past her, his eyes settling somewhere above her head; on Thane, she thought.

"Siha, will you sit with Garrus a moment? I'd like to have a word with the doctor." Thane tried again to extract himself from her grip.

"No! Don't leave me." Brooke whined, clinging to him more desperately.

"Let him go, Jane." Garrus' voice held a threatening edge.

Brooke jerked around to stare at him, her mouth agape. "That's not my name, thank you very much, and since when do you take that tone with your commanding officer, Vakarian?"

Garrus' brow plates shot up, his mandibles falling slack. Dr. Chakwas looked between Garrus and Brooke, her own eyebrows raised.

She settled her gaze on Brooke. "I see. Well then dear, can you tell me what your name is?"

Brooke swallowed, a whine bubbling up in her throat. "This isn't real, is it? If this were real, you'd know me. You would all know me."

Dried tears renewed themselves, pouring down her cheeks. "My name is Commander Brooke Shepard, and I died saving the galaxy from the reapers. I fought so hard … so long, just to get here to be with Thane again … but it's not real. I don't understand." Brooke's chest heaved, sucking in rapid, shallow gasps of air. The room swam around her. "I don't … I don't …." She brought a hand up to dig her palm into her temple again, but Thane's gentle fingers urged it back down, locking her fingers in his grip.

"Commander, Brooke, listen to me. It's alright, you're safe. Look, Thane is right here with you." Tears began to well up in Dr. Chakwas' eyes; her voice trembled ever so slightly. "We just want to help you, alright? Will you come with us to the med bay for scans?" Her gaze darted up to meet Thane's. "I think Thane is more than willing to go with you."

Brooke nodded her head, her breathing still too frantic to speak coherently. Dr. Chakwas smiled at Brooke, the relief clear on her face.

Patting Brooke's shoulder, Dr. Chakwas nodded. "Good, very good. Thank you, dear." She turned, leading the way to the door.

Thane guided Brooke, tucking her under his arm, one hand resting on her shoulder. Her breathing starting to settle, tears drying on her cheeks once more. Brooke adjusted her arms, snaking them around his waist and followed the doctor. Garrus stepped into place at her right. Once up the stairs, she hesitated in front of the fish tank, catching sight of a snake instead of the expected fish. She frowned, opening her mouth to ask where her fish were when her focus shifted, and she caught sight of her face reflected in the glass.

Brooke gasped. "That's not my face! Oh God, where is my face?!"

Thane shushed her, and Garrus moved forward to block her view. Her gaze darted up to meet the turian's eyes, hoping he would tell her something. Garrus had never let her down before; surely he would tell her what was happening. He only frowned, his mandibles dropping.

They ushered her out of the room and into the elevator, the brighter light giving her the first clear view of Thane's face. She gazed at him in wonder, awe soaking into the very fiber of her being. He turned his head, meeting her eyes and smiled. Not a happy smile, but a sad one; one Brooke didn't like seeing on his face at all. Her brow furrowed, and she turned her gaze to the floor.

Garrus shifted beside her as the elevator started to descend, turning his back to the side wall, drawing Brooke's attention back to him. She studied his cobalt blue markings, his face unmarred by scars. There should be scars there. She lifted a hand hesitantly toward his face. He flicked his mandibles in unease, but didn't pull away from her.

She traced her fingers down his smooth plates and cocked her head to the side. "Your face …." Worrying her lower lip with her teeth, she pulled her hand away letting it return to Thane's side. "You're not dead?"

Garrus chuffed, his mandibles fluttering again. He shook his head. "No, I'm not—."

"Oh!" Brooke's hand shot up to her head, her weight falling against Thane. "I don't—something's not right. Something's happening. I don't feel so—." The elevator tilted sideways, Thane's strong arms holding her on her feet.

She could hear Dr. Chakwas calling her name, could feel Garrus' hand slip around her waist to help hold her up but she couldn't form the words to respond. Her vision started to darken around the edges, her eyes desperately seeking out Thane's face one last time. She was falling—no, being pulled—back into that terrible place with all the noise and the fighting, the whispers, and the screams. She didn't want to go back; she wanted to stay with him.

* * *

 

Jane stumbled forward, gasping for air. Pulling her arms away from Thane, she latched on to Dr. Chakwas, shaking the woman's arms. "She's waking up. I can't—I'm trying to get to her, but the others are fighting. Dawn's—I can't stay here. She's waking up."

"Brooke?" Dr. Chakwas shook her head in confusion.

"No, no. Brooke's back inside. I—Shit, I have to go; they've found her." Jane closed her eyes, trying to let go.

Garrus shook her, forcing her to look at him. "Who's found her? What's happening?"

"I'm sorry, Garrus. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to help her, I promise. I'm going to get her back to you, please just trust me." She planted her hand against his chest, urging him back and closed her eyes.

Garrus resisted, shaking her again. "Jane? Jane?"

She let herself fall back into the darkness, a peaceful smile on her face.

* * *

 

"Jane!" John's voice tore through the darkness, rising above the chaos. "Where the hell are you?!"

Feeling as if she were moving through quicksand, she struggled against the hundreds of crazed Shepards surrounding her, trying to push her back. Gritting her teeth, she shoved herself forward, fighting through the horde. She could see Dawn in the distance, a spark of glowing light in the darkness, a beacon pulling Jane—and every other Shepard—to her location.

Jane pushed with every ounce of her will. Straining, struggling—like so much of her life and all of the lives she'd endured since the moment she chose her path on the Crucible—at last something gave way. She was free and moving. The singular goal of saving Dawn, the only thing that mattered; undaunted, and no longer weighed down by the voices of the others who she let lead her astray.

Banshees screamed, reapers blared their sirens, husks clawed at her face and arms, but Jane didn't stop. She couldn't stop. Miranda now, cutting, scraping, drilling, and screwing into her body. Don't stop. Ashley and Kaidan, body parts scattered across Virmire, hands reaching out to her, their voices begging her for help. Won't stop.

Closing in on the glorious beacon, the brilliant bright light, Jane realized something was wrong. Something was terribly, terribly wrong. No longer just running to the light anymore, the pull too strong—she felt herself being dragged into the light. All around her others disappeared, their sparks being sucked in; consumed by the light. The weak, the frail, the broken fed the light, making it grow bigger and brighter.

"Run!" John was at her side, pushing her, urging her to flee. "Jane you have to run!"

"What? No, I have to save Dawn!" Jane pushed back.

"She doesn't need saving. Please Jane, you've got to run!" John urged, dragging her away from the light.

The light pulsed, throbbing and warping the chaos all around. For one, perfect moment, everything stood still. Then, the light exploded.

* * *

 

Shepard gasped, screaming and clawing at her throat as she bolted upright in the bed. The bright lights of the med bay were harsh and unforgiving to her eyes. She glanced around, frantic to find a foothold on reality; desperate to reassure herself she wasn't still trapped in the dream.

"Dawn?" Garrus' voice, rich and thrumming with concern reached her ears.

Her head snapped to the right, a relieved sob escaping her lips when her eyes landed on Garrus and Thane. With shaking hands she reached out for them; whimpering with joy when they moved closer to her.

"Commander, I need you to lie still until I finish my scans." Dr. Chakwas moved into Shepard's line of vision.

"The councilor?" Shepard asked, lying back on the bed.

Thane moved around to her other side, stepping out of Dr. Chakwas' way, but Garrus didn't yield an inch. Dr. Chakwas started her scans, working around the looming turian clinging to Shepard's hand as if it were his only anchor to sanity.

Garrus cleared his throat. "Councilor Sparatus is fine, Dawn." He said her name with such awe; such reverence. "We got him out of the apartment, and he's back on Palaven now."

"Palaven?" Shepard turned her head to look at Garrus, earning her a tutting sound from the doctor.

"The councilor chose to retire, Siha." Thane squeezed her hand. "He's decided to return to Palaven; to encourage his people to prepare for the arrival of the reapers."

"Oh. Well, that's good, then. Right?" Shepard fought the urge to shake her head to clear the rest of the fog surrounding her thoughts. "How long have I been out?"

Dr. Chakwas glanced up from her omni-tool to look at Shepard. "Eleven days, Commander."

"Eleven … dear gods. Where are we? I need a sitrep. Where's Miranda?" Shepard started to sit up, only to be guided back to the bed by both Thane and Garrus.

"You don't need anything until I finish these scans." Dr. Chakwas continued waving the omni-tool over Shepard.

Shepard frowned, glancing between the three people hovering over her as if she were a fragile doll about to break. "EDI!"

"Welcome back, Shepard. What can I do for you?" EDI's blue hologram hovered next to the med bay door.

Shepard's lips quirked up in a smile. "Thank you, EDI. Get me Miranda, please."

"Miranda is currently asleep. Shall I wake her?" EDI asked.

"Might as well, EDI." Dr. Chakwas glanced at the AI interface. "Mordin, too."

"Right away, doctor." EDI's hologram disappeared from sight.

Miranda came in as Dr. Chakwas finished her scans. Garrus helped Shepard sit up, still refusing to move more than a foot or two away from her even as Miranda edged her way in to do her own scans. Shepard's request for a sitrep got shoved aside while Miranda worked at checking Shepard's implants and double checking Dr. Chakwas scans. A few moments later, the door opened again and Mordin entered; an excited smile on his face.

Shepard did her best to sit by passively while the three medical professionals checked her over, but her patience grew thin. "Someone answer my damn questions!"

"What do you remember, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"I remember fighting The Dissension; trying to get to Sparatus. There was an explosion right next to me. Uh, it threw me into the wall I think." Shepard rubbed her forehead. "I asked Jane to save the councilor, and then that's it until a few minutes ago. Now will someone please tell me what the hell I've missed?"

"While you were unconscious, Jane maintained control over your body during the days—at my request—to keep muscular degeneration as well as a whole—." Dr. Chakwas stopped when Shepard held up her hand.

"That's not what I asked, doc." Shepard turned her head, looking from Dr. Chakwas to Miranda.

"Where are we? What have we done in the last eleven days?" Shepard raised an eyebrow. "I doubt Jane would've had us sitting idle."

"Shepard, Jane announced herself to Councilor Anderson … he insisted she step down from command and be kept on the Normandy under constant guard." Miranda glanced down at her datapad, her fingers running over the screen. "I've been in command of the Normandy, and have kept us on course by handling some of the lower priority missions."

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. "I need to speak with Anderson."

Miranda handed Shepard the datapad. Shepard glanced at it long enough to see the list of reports of missions the Normandy crew covered under Miranda's command before resting it on her thigh.

Looking back to Miranda, Shepard asked, "Where are we?"

"Sigurd's Cradle. We're headed toward a derelict ship called the—," Miranda halted her elaboration when Shepard raised her hand.

"MSV Strontium Mule, I remember." And she did remember. All of it. She knew exactly what they would find aboard the ship, even without Jane whispering in her ear.

Something wasn't right. Normally the memories came to her filtered through Jane, not like this, not like they were her own memories already there in her head. Shepard rubbed her forehead and nodded. She couldn't hear Jane or John right now, which didn't come as a surprise considering Jane usually had to recover for a while after taking control, but this felt different.

Shepard swallowed against the sick feeling in her stomach. "EDI, what time is it on the Citadel?"

"Oh five-hundred hours, Shepard." EDI's hologram bobbed next to the door, waiting for further comment.

Shepard nodded. "He'll be awake. I'm going to my cabin." She glanced at the group gathered around, her voice warning it wasn't a request and she would brook no argument. "Patch me through to Anderson's apartment."

Shepard slid down off the bed and gently pushed her way past the crowd. Garrus and Thane fell into step behind her. Turning, she lifted her eyebrow, expecting some sort of disagreement.

"I haven't been able to talk to you in eleven days. You're not getting rid of me that easily." Garrus smirked, his mandibles flaring.

"Indeed." Thane squared his shoulders, tucking his hands behind his back.

Shepard chuckled and nodded her head back toward the door. "Alright, come on then." She didn't want them with her, and she hated herself for feeling that way, but she needed some time to herself. She needed to think, to sort out whatever it was making her feel so … wrong. She couldn't tell them though, not if it'd been eleven days for them. If they thought she held something back from the doctor … no, she needed to figure this out herself.

"How late is it?" Shepard asked as they made their way through the quiet, dim third deck to the elevator.

"Early, actually." Garrus flared his mandibles and hit the elevator call button. "Morning shift will be getting started soon."

Shepard glanced between the two of them as the elevator door opened. "Have either of you slept?"

"Ah, I acted as guard overnight. I slept earlier in the evening; I will be fine, Siha." Thane waved his hand out at the open elevator, inviting Shepard and Garrus to enter before him.

"I got a few hours. You know I don't need much," Garrus said.

Shepard stepped into the elevators, turning to narrow her eyes at the two men who followed her inside. "Uh huh. Why do I get the feeling you're both exhausted and full of shit?"

Garrus flicked his mandibles and stepped on to the elevator. Closing in on Shepard, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck, nipping at her sensitive skin. She yelped, earning her a chuff from Garrus, his breath hot on her neck. Thane's chuckle sounded from nearby. It did feel nice, so nice, being wrapped up in Garrus' arms with Thane in arms reach, too. She reached out blindly, smiling against Garrus' crest when she felt Thane's hand slip into hers.

"We're both grown men. We'll sleep when we want to." Garrus lifted his head to look at Thane leaning against the elevator wall next to them. "Isn't that right?"

Thane smiled and dipped his head. "I have gone days without sleep without any ill effects. I require only a couple of hours to meditate each day."

Garrus chuffed again. "Alright, he's got me beat there, but really, I'm fine."

Shepard lifted her hand to rest on Garrus' face, tracing her thumb along the lines of his lips. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" His brow plates dipped.

"For being gone so long." Shepard pushed up on the balls of her feet to kiss him before tucking her head under his chin.

Garrus hummed contentedly. "You're back now, that's all that matters."

The elevator opened, and Shepard broke away from Garrus and Thane to head to her cabin door. She ducked into the restroom to relieve herself and run a brush through her mussed hair before returning to stand in front of her desk. Garrus and Thane hovering behind her.

At EDI's cue, Shepard activated the vid screen, saluting when Anderson's image appeared in front of her. "Good morning, sir. Sorry to bother you so early, but it appears I need your permission to resume command of my ship." Shepard grimaced.

Anderson watched her for a moment, sipping his coffee. His focus shifted to the two men standing behind her. Shepard glanced over her shoulder in time to see Garrus nod at Anderson, and she frowned.

Anderson's chest heaved in a sigh. "Glad to have you back, Shepard. As soon as I receive clearance from Dr. Chakwas, consider yourself reinstated."

"Thank you, Anderson." Shepard rubbed the back of her neck before turning to look at Garrus and Thane over her shoulder. "Give me a minute to talk privately with the councilor, please?"

Garrus hesitated, but Thane dipped his head, encouraging Garrus to follow him to wait outside the cabin. She waited for the door to close behind them before facing the screen again. She wasn't surprised to find a hint of disappointment etched into Anderson's features.

"You should've told me this was happening, Shepard." Anderson lifted his coffee cup to his lips.

None too proud, Shepard hung her head in shame. "I know, Anderson. I'm sorry. I thought—."

"You thought I'd have you locked away somewhere." Anderson finished the statement for her. "And this mission is too important to have its most valuable piece removed from the board. I know, Shepard. God help me, but I know."

She gripped the back of her desk chair, using it to support her weight as she leaned forward. "It's really not as bad as it sounds, sir."

Anderson scoffed and shook his head. "How exactly is that? And stop calling me sir. I'm not in uniform, and I haven't clocked in yet. Until I leave this apartment, I refuse to be called sir."

Shepard smirked. "You got it, Anderson, no 'sir' this early in the morning."

"Hmm. That's right." Anderson took another drink from his mug.

"I know Jane can be difficult, and at times she's done some … extreme things, but all in all I really feel like she's still an asset and can be trusted with the bigger picture." Shepard stared into Anderson's eyes, hoping he'd see her sincerity.

He grunted and shifted in his seat, leaning closer to the screen. "If I didn't think you're right about Jane, you wouldn't be on that ship right now, Shepard. I love you, you know that, but I've got to think about the future, and if I think for one moment Jane's becoming too much … I can't let her put the entire galaxy at risk."

"Of course, si—Anderson." Shepard caught herself before she could call him 'sir' again, and he chuckled at her quick switch. "And again, I'm sorry. I hated not telling you everything. Hated it. I just wanted to do what's best for everyone without the red tape getting in the way."

"I understand, Shepard." Anderson raised his eyebrows. "Anything else you're forgetting to tell me?"

Shepard thought, "You mean like I can tell something happened to me in there, I'm just not sure what, and I'm not telling anyone about it until I can figure out what the hell is going on?" Her thoughts filled her with more shame. "No, sir, nothing else I'm forgetting to tell you. Gods help me, Anderson, I'm sorry."

No response came. No Jane, no John, and not a peep from anyone else locked inside her head.

Shepard shrugged her shoulders before giving him a response he could actually hear. "It would take me until the reapers are knocking on our front door to give you all the details of what I know thanks to Jane. It just isn't feasible. So, unless you're interested in the details of my love life …."

Anderson chuckled and held a hand, palm out, toward the screen. "That's alright, kid. You can keep those to yourself."

Shepard grinned, seizing the opportunity wrought by Anderson's discomfort to change the subject. "So, Sparatus retired?"

"Mmm, yeah. I got to say, between you and me; the Council sure is less stressful without him." Anderson smirked. "Sounds like you really got to him, though. He's back on Palaven to rally the troops for the war, and to dig into uncovering the top dogs behind The Dissension." Anderson's eyes lit up, his eyebrows twitching. "Oh, I didn't get the chance to tell you, but two more people from that auction list of yours have been arrested and brought in for questioning. The Alliance is holding Newlin, since he's CAT6, but C-Sec had Fairfield brought in from Noveria. We're following leads on Namri."

"That's fantastic. What have they said so far?" Shepard leaned a little closer to the screen, excited to hear what Anderson had to say.

He frowned and shook his head. "Newlin isn't talking, but Fairfield finally caved and admitted she wanted to study you to gain insight on Cerberus' work in bringing you back. Binary Helix hoped to uncover the tech used, and patent it before it became widespread."

Shepard rubbed her chin. "You know, the fact that Newlin is CAT6 could be a bigger part of this than we might think. I never got the chance to look into before, but I know from Jane's memories she encountered a group of CAT6 working together basically as a mercenary group. It might be something to look into."

Never mind the fact she didn't need Jane's memories to remember the CAT6 troops attacking her while she had dinner with Joker on the Citadel. Never mind the fact she could remember crystal clear that they were led by a former Cerberus operative and Shepard's own clone. Never mind … she had at least a hundred memories of what her clone looked like, and not a single one of them had her face. Shepard swallowed down the thick knot forming in her throat.

"I'll look into, Shepard. We need you focused on the collectors right now. Where are you at with things?" Anderson asked.

Shepard held up the datapad Miranda gave her. "Just woke up, Anderson. Haven't been completely briefed yet myself. Came to see you as soon as I could get the Three Musketeers to stop with their damn scans." Shepard shook her head. "By the sounds of it, though, Miranda took care of some of the low priority things while I slept. So, I'd say we're no closer than we were eleven days ago, all things considered."

"Alright, Shepard. Keep me updated, and tell Dr. Chakwas I need her report before they go giving you your guns back." Anderson chuckled. "I know you're itching to get your hands on them again."

Shepard forced a grin. Her guns were actually the least of her concerns at the moment. "Will do, Anderson. Enjoy your day."

"You, too, Shepard," Anderson said.

"Oh, and Anderson?" Shepard raised her eyebrow.

"Yes?" Anderson paused, in the middle of getting up from his seat.

"I love you, too." Shepard flashed him her best Cheshire grin.

He chuckled and killed the call, her screen going black.

"EDI, send those two back in, will you? And tell Dr. Chakwas Anderson needs her report to clear me." Shepard called over her shoulder.

"Right away, Shepard." EDI opened the door, her voice coming through the speakers in the hall still clear to Shepard's ears. "Shepard will see you now."

She couldn't help the warm smile from spreading across her face when Thane and Garrus walked back into her cabin. Seeing them eased some of the tension from her shoulders, soothing some of the rising panic in her mind. Picking up the datapad, she made her way down the stairs to settle in on the couch. Glancing at her unmade bed, sheets strewn halfway across the floor she sighed, but sat down anyway.

Garrus and Thane settled in on either side of her, both seemed content to just be with her as she dug into the debriefing reports. Gratitude washed over her, she knew they must have questions; concerns they wished to voice, but they let her have the silence. Thane leaned forward, picking up a datapad from the coffee table. A moment later Garrus opened his omni-tool.

Shepard glanced between the two of them before shifting on the couch, wriggling down to throw her legs over Garrus' and snuggle into Thane's side. Garrus lifted her legs, pulling them closer to his chest and pinning them there with his knees, resting his feet on the coffee table. He glanced at her, his mandibles flicking out as he smiled before returning his attention to his omni-tool. Thane's arm shifted, freeing it from behind her head to idly run his fingers through her hair. Shepard let out a contented sigh and turned her attention back to the datapad.

A moment later she jumped up from the couch, tossing the datapad to the table as she spun to look down at the two of them in wide-eyed shock. "Tali's here?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

Garrus chuckled, sharing a look with Thane before he answered. "I guess it slipped our minds. I'm sure she and Kal are still sleeping." Garrus reached out a hand, urging her back to the couch. "You can see her when she wakes up … just let us have this, alright?"

Jane glanced to Thane, his green irises shining through the layer of darkness. He smiled at her, extending his hand, silently asking for her to join him. Shepard slipped her free hand into his and let them guide her back to the couch. She settled back, reaching for the datapad before making herself comfortable again.


	38. Chapter 37: Acclimatize

Chapter 37: Acclimatize

Shepard sat down the datapad and stood, stretching her arms above her head. She turned to see Thane and Garrus both looking up at her with concern in their eyes. Smiling at them reassuringly—even though she didn't feel the slightest bit reassured herself—she waved them off and made her way to the restroom.

Stopping in front of the sink, she splashed water on her face before pressing her palms into the counter. Leaning forward, she stared at her face in the mirror, unable to shake the feeling it just didn't look the way it was supposed to, even though she couldn't quite place any differences. Closing her eyes, she tried to pull up an image of her face from the last time she looked in the mirror, but instead of seeing herself, a flood of different people floated on the backs of her eyelids. A woman with cropped red hair and a pudgy face, another with skin as dark as hers was pale, a man with a scar cutting down across his face … so many faces, but none of them hers.

Shuddering, Shepard opened her eyes and ran her trembling fingers over her cheeks. Her rumbling stomach tore her attention away from the mirror, and she shook her head to push away the memories of other faces. Leaving the bathroom, she made her way back down the stairs, flashing another fake smile at Garrus and Thane. "I'm going down for breakfast. You two coming, or have you convinced yourselves I'll be fine while you get some sleep?"

Garrus fluttered his mandibles. "I could eat." Standing up, he wrapped a hand around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He pressed his mouth to hers, letting his tongue run over her lips until she opened them to return his kiss.

Shepard pulled back and chuckled. "Well, I'm not on the menu right now."

Garrus grinned at her, nuzzling into her neck. "Hmmm. I guess I'll grab something in the mess and maybe take a nap. I've got to make sure I'm up for dessert tonight." Garrus put his hands on her shoulders, pushing gently to turn her around to face Thane standing a few feet away. "Why don't you two take a minute to say hello. I'll head down and save us seats." He pressed his mouth to the back of her head and urged her forward.

All too aware the last time she was alone with Thane, she'd professed her love for him, refusing let him say anything in return before walking away. Smiling tentatively, she patted Garrus' hand as he pulled away from her, watching him as he moved past Thane and up the stairs before leaving the cabin.

Rubbing her palms over her thighs, she smiled at Thane. "Hello."

"Hello," he said with a chuckle, holding a hand out to her.

Shepard stepped forward, putting her hand in his, letting him pull her against his chest. Sliding her free hand along his arm, she rested it on his shoulder. Thane smiled at her, a sadness tugging at the corner of his eyes sent a sharp, twisting pain through Shepard's heart.

He brushed hair out of her face, pushing it behind her ear before resting his palm on her cheek. "I've missed you, Siha."

Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth in a half-smile. "I'd say I missed you, too, but it doesn't really feel like any time has passed for me." She squeezed his shoulder. "But I'm happy to be here with you now."

Thane leaned into her, brushing his lips across hers in a ghost of a kiss. Moving her hand up to cradle the back of his head, Shepard pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. Indulging her, he pressed his body flush against hers and slid his tongue into her mouth. Shepard's stomach rumbled again, loud enough for them both to here. She groaned and leaned back with a pout.

Thane chuckled and ran his hand over the crown of her head. He held her gaze for a moment, before tilting his head to the side in question. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

Shepard forced a smile on her face and dipped her eyebrows. "How can anything be wrong when I've got you in my arms?"

Thane smirked but raised a brow ridge in challenge. "Siha …."

Laying her head on his chest, she sighed, suddenly deflated and weary. "I'm not ready to talk about it."

Stroking the back of her head in silence, Thane held her a little tighter. "Very well. When you're ready, I hope you'll come to me."

Shepard nodded her head against his chest. "I promise." Her stomach rumbled again, and they both chuckled. Shepard pulled away, turning to the stairs. "I'd better get something in there before it gets as loud as a thresher maw."

Thane latched on to her hand, tugging her back to him. Shepard smiled as she settled her gaze on his, leaning in to press her lips to his once more, savoring the tingle of his venom on her tongue.

Her breath caught in her throat at the intensity of his gaze when they separated. She started to ask him why he looked so serious, but he silenced her with a finger pressed to her lips. She quirked her eyebrows at him, but stayed quiet.

"I must confess; I began to fear you wouldn't wake up again." Thane dropped his eyes from hers and swallowed, letting his hand fall away from her mouth to take her other hand in his. "I allowed my faith to waiver. I must apologize to you."

Shepard shook her head. "Thane, that's not something you need to apologize for."

"No, not that." He lifted his head to look into her eyes. "You told me you loved me, and I allowed you to walk away without saying anything. So easily I forgot how quickly someone can be taken away from me."

Shepard opened her mouth to speak, and Thane shook his head.

"Please," he said, squeezing her hands, "allow me."

Shepard pursed her lips and nodded.

"I know I don't have much time left, but you should know what time I have is yours. The circumstances haven't been … ideal, but perhaps I've held myself back too much if you could believe for even a moment that my heart isn't fully yours, Siha." Thane lifted her hands to kiss them. "I love you."

Shepard eased her hands free from his to cup his face, brushing her thumbs over his cheekbones. She kissed him chastely before wrapping her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "I love you, too."

Thane squeezed her tighter, lifting her up on her tiptoes as he let out a shuddering breath. Tears flowed from Shepard's eyes, tracing their way down her cheeks before pooling on Thane's scales. She never should've gotten involved with either Thane or Garrus, even if she did love them both desperately. She was falling apart; losing herself, she could feel it, and it was only a matter of time before she broke completely. What would it do to them?

She scolded herself, reminding herself they both knew something was off with her before they got into a relationship with her, and it was their choice to make. Shepard pulled away from him when her stomach rumbled again.

Thane chuckled, taking her hand in his and leading her to the door. "Let's get you fed. We can't have thresher maws tearing you apart from the inside."

Shepard laughed and followed him into the elevator, feeling oddly less afraid of what she saw when she looked in the mirror, despite the ache in her chest. She pushed the button for the third deck and leaned back against the elevator wall, sliding closer to Thane until she could rest her head on his shoulder.

The doors opened on the third deck, and the sounds of her crew laughing reached her from the mess hall. Shepard took a deep breath, unsure if she was really ready to face everyone knowing her big secret was out. She hated that she didn't have a say in it; didn't get to make the choice and tell them herself. She didn't have any clue how any of them took the news; she was going in blind, and that more than anything else, gave her pause. Thane squeezed her hand reassuringly, and led her from the elevator, rounding the corner into the mess hall.

Silence fell as all eyes turned to Shepard; silverware halting midair, halfway to mouths hanging agape. Smiling despite the tension locking up the muscles in her shoulders, Shepard made her way to Garrus when he waved them over. Tali and Kal sat across from him, and Jack to his right. Thane urged her to sit, making his way to the counter to get them both something to eat. She settled in next to Garrus, her tension easing when the gathered crowd slowly resumed their quiet conversations.

Shepard tried to pretend she didn't feel the eyes on her, straightening her spine as she turned her attention to Tali. "Hey you!" With Tali firmly in her sights, a genuine smile spread across her face.

Tali crossed her arms on the table in front of her tray and leaned forward, her voice light and filled with concern. "Shepard, how are you feeling?"

"Uh, I'm good. Really." Shepard lifted a shoulder. "I feel well rested. Like I just took the galaxies longest catnap."

Jack snorted. "Good to have you back, Alliance."

Shepard leaned forward, glancing past Garrus to smile at Jack. "Thanks, Jack."

Grinning, Jack winked at Shepard before turning her attention back to her breakfast. Garrus hummed and leaned over, bumping his shoulder into Jack's affectionately. Shepard's eyebrow twitched, unused to seeing Garrus display affection publicly to anyone but her, let alone Jack accepting it so easily. It made her happy to see; a reminder that their lives went on without her. It struck her on a visceral level she didn't expect, a bittersweet pain squeezing the air out of her lungs, knowing they could and would go on without her.

"So, you don't remember anything from the last eleven days?" Tali shifted, leaning a little closer to Shepard, dropping her voice.

Shepard looked back to Tali, shaking her head. "No. Nothing. And Jane hasn't …." Shepard couldn't help but to glance over her shoulder, still feeling the weight of everyone's furtive glances. "She hasn't woken up yet. I think once she does, she'll fill in the gaps."

Tali lifted a hand to rest her chin on her palm. "Well … we'll just have to do the whole catching up thing again."

"Absolutely," Shepard said, grinning.

Thane returned to the table, settling a tray in front of Shepard before going to the mess counter to bring back his own. Sitting down next to her, he smiled at her warmly before digging into his own tray. Letting the chatter of the room surround her, she focused on filling the rumbling pit of her stomach. No matter how hard she tried, though, she couldn't shake the feeling of unease rolling off her crew in thick waves. The oatmeal, sweet with cinnamon and sugar a moment before, became tasteless and too thick for her to swallow.

"EDI?" Shepard said.

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI's voice came over the comm nearest her table.

"I want everyone in the communications room in fifteen." Shepard took two more bites for show before mumbling, "Excuse me." She stood, picking up her tray and taking it to Gardner before making her way to the elevator; everyone openly staring at her once more.

Shepard took the elevator up to the CIC, nodding her head at Kelly as the yeoman rattled off a list of things needing her attention. Out of habit more than anything else, she turned toward the tech labs as her chosen path to the comm room.

Mordin looked up when the door opened. "Ah, Shepard. Good, you're here." He moved around the table, opening his omni-tool as he went.

Shepard took a deep breath, wishing she'd gone through the armory instead. "Mordin, I'm about to call a meeting."

"Only take a moment." Mordin passed his omni-tool over Shepard, turning it back to read the screen. "Brain activity remains stable. Any dizziness, disorientation, muscle weakness, joint pain?"

"Nope. All good." Shepard patted Mordin on the shoulder. "See you in a few." Shepard moved past him before he could ask any more questions.

Inside the comm room, she pressed her palms into the table, heaving a heavy sigh as the door closed behind her. Raking her hand through her hair, she began pacing. Unsurprised when the door opened behind her less than a minute later, she turned her head to look over her shoulder. Garrus stepped inside, stopping just inside the door to lean against the wall, arms crossed and mandibles fluttering as he pulled in her scent.

Shepard turned to face him fully, feeling her shoulders sag. "Tell me I haven't lost them all."

"You haven't lost any of them, Dawn." Pushing away from the wall, he crossed the few feet between them to pull her into his arms. "It's just an adjustment. They all respect you, hell Vega idolizes you. They just need to see you're still able to lead them."

"And Jane?" Shepard looked up to study his piercing blue eyes, her heart aching at the pain she saw there.

"What about Jane?" His mandibles stilled.

"Come on, Garrus. Miranda's excellent at keeping track of numbers, places, events … but there's nothing in those reports that tells me how the crew reacted. How they felt about Jane. What Jane said or did while I was out." Shepard shook her head. "I need to know what I'm dealing with here."

Garrus rumbled deep in his chest, the vibrations passing through his armor and into Shepard, both soothing in the familiarity of the feeling and twisting her stomach in dread. Rubbing a hand absently up and down her back, he let out a defeated sigh before letting her go.

Garrus took a step back, leaning his hip against the table. "Their reactions … varied. I think my attitude may have influenced Jack, and maybe some of the others." His mandibles flared. "I didn't handle it as well as I could have."

Shepard winced; she couldn't imagine how hard the last eleven days had been for Garrus. He despised Jane, and Shepard knew he still struggled to deal with her dying on the old Normandy. She thought he must have been terrified, afraid she wasn't coming back just as Thane confessed.

Garrus cleared his throat. "Jane started out … difficult. Antagonistic toward a lot of the crew, particularly those who seemed the most uncomfortable with her."

"Started out?" Shepard arched an eyebrow.

Garrus hummed thoughtfully, nodding his head. "She seemed to settle after a few days. Started making more of an effort to get along." He flicked his mandibles and shrugged. "Mordin said she was starting to acclimatize; whatever he meant by that."

"Did she do anything? Hurt anyone or anything?" Shepard crossed her arms, leaning against the table next to Garrus.

He shook his head, lacing his fingers together in front of him. "No. She didn't really do anything." Garrus chuffed. "I think she was bored. It's probably half the reason she gave people a hard time at first." Lifting a shoulder in a shrug, he smirked. "She's as restless as you are when you don't have an enemy to throw yourself at."

Shepard snorted. "You should've seen me a few years ago, before all of this started." She cocked her head to the side. "No, on second thought, it's probably better you didn't. I doubt Detective Vakarian would've been very taken with my behavior on shore leave."

Garrus hummed, his mandibles flaring. "Now I'm intrigued." Sliding his hands around her hips, he squeezed gently, tugging her closer to him. "Were you a bad girl? I think I've still got my cuffs around here somewhere." He dipped his head to nip at her neck.

Shepard laughed, tilting her head to the side, enjoying the moment of closeness with a man she loved. The proverbial quiet before the storm. The door opened, Jacob stepping through before stopping in his tracks, eyes bulging for a second when he caught sight of Garrus and Shepard snuggled up together. Shepard brought her hand up to Garrus' chest, patting his armor and gently pushing him away.

"Uh, sorry, Shepard. I thought … am I early? Should I come back?" Jacob turned back halfway, ready to leave the comm room.

"No, come on in, Jacob." Shepard stepped back, putting a professional distance between her and Garrus, letting her commander mask slip into place.

The awkward moment passed when the door opened behind Jacob once more, forcing Jacob further into the room as Mordin walked in followed by James. The doors no sooner slid shut before the opened again, Miranda, Tali, and Kal entering. Before long, the entire team assembled, forming a circle around the table with all eyes on Shepard.

She waited to speak, letting her eyes roam over her team, her arms crossed over her chest and her head held high. No one failed to meet her gaze, though a few did shuffle their feet under the weight of her stare.

Shepard stepped forward, pressing her knuckles into the table's surface. "I don't have a good explanation for you. I don't know why or how this is happening." She shook her head, glancing over her crew once again. "But I do know I am the commanding officer of this ship, and our mission is too important for any of you to be questioning my ability to lead. I know some of you had difficulties accepting the reality of Jane, and though I don't know the details, I know she made some of you uncomfortable."

Shepard pushed back from the table, shifting her weight to one hip and crossing her arms again. "I need to know here and now if this is a big enough problem for any of you that you can't continue to do your jobs and follow my command. Speak up now and our next stop after the MSV Strontium Mule will be to drop you off on the nearest inhabited planet with enough credits to get you a ticket home. Otherwise, if you stay on this ship you will be expected to follow my orders both on and off of the Normandy."

She looked around the room, watching her team for signs of discord. Her gaze found Jacob in time to see him look to Miranda. Grundan Krul's eyes sought out Garrus. Zaeed lifted his shoulder in a shrug. Jack scoffed; smirking as she shook her head, but no one spoke up to say they wanted to leave.

Shepard let the silence linger, giving everyone the chance to think things over and speak up if they had any doubts. "Alright. We'll be arriving at the Mule soon. We'll be facing Blue Suns with mechs. Tali, Kal, you two ready to jump into the game?"

"Yes ma'am." Kal nodded his head, his hands behind his back.

Tali cocked her hip. "Of course."

Shepard smiled. "Good. Grunt, and Zaeed, you two will join us."

Grunt slammed his fist into his palm and grinned.

"You got it," Zaeed said.

"If any of you have something to say, and you don't want to say it here, you're welcome to approach me privately. Dismissed." Shepard watched everyone file out; Garrus and Thane lingering until the others left.

"Don't ask, Garrus. The answer's no." Shepard turned to face him. "You're not going with me and neither is Thane. Neither of you are rested enough for me to justify taking you out on this when I've got a full team at the ready."

"Shepard." Garrus crossed his arms, mandibles flaring. "You just woke up a few hours ago. You were in a coma! This is your first run back."

"Yeah, and all the doctors agree that I'm fine to return to active duty. Go get some rest. I'll make it an order if I have to, Vakarian." Shepard raised her eyebrows, waiting to see if he was going to push her.

Garrus looked over his shoulder at Thane, who remained quiet, his hands tucked behind his back. "You going to help me out here?"

Thane smiled, chuckling softly and shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not."

Garrus rumbled, his mandibles flaring. "Fine." He threw his hands up, letting them drop back down to slap against his thighs. He turned, making his way to the door, glaring at Thane when he fell into step next to him. "You could've helped," he muttered.

The doors were sliding closed behind them when Thane turned his head, smirking up at Garrus and said, "You've never been married."

Shepard snorted. "How far out are we, EDI?"

"The Normandy will dock with the MSV Strontium Mule in fifty-three minutes." EDI's hologram hovered in front of Shepard, centered over the QEC access. "Shepard?"

"Yeah?" Shepard asked.

EDI's response came slower than expected. "I would like to speak with you privately in regards to Jane. Is this an appropriate time?"

Shepard's eyebrows twitched. "Sure, EDI. What's on your mind?" Shepard leaned back against the wall, stuffing her hands in her pocket as she crossed one ankle over the other.

"I'm trying to understand Jane's behavior over the last few days. Comparing the data to previous observed patterns, Jane's behavior fell outside of predicted parameters." EDI paused. "Now that all available data has been collected, I've adjusted the parameters to include recent behavioral analysis. Reevaluation of my own interactions with Jane has left me with the conclusion I may have responded to her in ways inappropriate to the situation."

"EDI, are you saying you think you were mean to Jane?" Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth, unable to hide her amusement completely.

"I believe that is how organics would describe it, yes." EDI's hologram hovered in weighted silence for a moment. "My programing suggests the appropriate response to my conclusion is to apologize to Jane. However, since the removal of my shackles, I have found the programming Cerberus provided me with doesn't always correlate with observed organic behavior. For instance, Jack's behavior has often been described as rude or mean by other members of the crew, yet she rarely apologizes for this behavior."

"You want to know whether or not you should apologize to Jane?" Shepard arched her eyebrows in question.

"Yes. I spoke with Jeff about this, and asked his opinion on the matter, but he deflected my inquiries with humor," said EDI.

Shepard chuckled. "Yeah, he does that." She rubbed her head before tucking her hand back in her pocket. "Well, do you regret the way you acted?"

The iris of EDI's hologram opened and closed. "I don't experience regret, Shepard."

"OK. Knowing what you know now, if you could, would you change what you said to her?"

"I would," EDI said.

"I think in essence, that's where regret comes from. Apologizing for your actions and making amends when possible is a common response to regret. It often can help both parties to feel better about the situation, and can mend damage to a relationship." Shepard lifted her shoulders. "Is that something you want?"

"Shepard, you said Jane is currently inaccessible?" EDI paused long enough for Shepard to nod. "Would you be willing to inform me when you have access to her again? I would like to apologize to her."

"Absolutely, EDI." Shepard smiled, fascinated and encouraged by the AI's progress. "Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Legion and I have been working on a new theory that might help to explain Jane and the others. I've sent a detailed report to your terminal," EDI said.

"Oh." Shepard's eyes widened with surprise. "Awesome. Thanks, EDI. I'll check it out when I get back from the Mule."

"You're welcome, Shepard. Logging you out." EDI's hologram collapsed, winking out of existence.

Shepard left the comm room and made her way to the armory. Jacob looked up when she walked in, smiling at her tentatively. Remembering the way Jacob looked to Miranda, as if he were seeking out her orders still grated on Shepard's nerves, but she couldn't say she didn't understand.

She forced a smile on her face. "Hey, Jacob." Shepard walked over, stopping in front of Jacob's workbench. "I'm told you've got my gear."

"It's all in your locker, Shepard. I cleaned everything, so it should be ready for you to take out on the field." Jacob nodded toward the seldom used locker designated for Shepard in the armory.

Shepard went to the locker, opening it and pulling out her gear. She looked over every piece, not because she didn't trust Jacob, but because they were her weapons and armor. They stood between life and death. Any good solider would've done the same thing.

Feeling Jacob's eyes on her, Shepard looked up from the gun in her hands. "We have a problem, Jacob?"

"Honestly?" Jacob turned to face her, leaning his hip against his workbench.

"Speak freely, Jacob." Shepard collapsed her sniper rifle and put it back in the locker with the rest. She'd leave it there until she was ready to suit up; no point in dragging it up to her cabin.

"This is going to take some time getting used to." Jacob looked down at his feet for a few seconds before turning his eyes back to her. "I mean, how are we supposed to trust that Jane isn't going to just take over again? How do we know you're really back?"

"Did someone tell you Jane wouldn't take over again?" Shepard raised her eyebrow.

Jacob's eyes darted back and forth, his lips parted in confusion. "Well, no … so you're telling me it'll happen again?"

Shepard shrugged. "Maybe. Probably." She crossed the floor, gauging his reaction as she neared him; relieved to see he didn't give ground and back away. "But you've got to understand the last several days were unusual circumstances. I was in a coma, Jacob."

Rubbing his forehead, he pinched the skin between his fingers and thumb. "Yeah." Dropping his hand, he returned his gaze to her. "But Shepard, you see how this jeopardizes the whole mission, right?"

"I see why it would seem like it does." Shepard pressed her palms to the end of the workbench. "Can you see how it gives us an edge over the mission? Think about it, Jacob. I know exactly what we're walking in to, exactly where we need to go, how to get there, and what we need to do to win this thing." Shepard shook her head. "If nothing else, trust me when I say that as unstable as Jane is, she doesn't want this thing to go sideways. Push comes to shove, she'll do whatever needs to be done."

Jacob let out a long breath and turned to face the workbench, mirroring Shepard's posture. He looked down at the disassembled pistol in front of him, his voice coming out barely above a whisper when he spoke, "You knew about my father?"

Shepard pulled in a slow, deep breath. She'd been expecting this. "I did."

"Why didn't you tell me?" His head snapped up, fire burning in his eyes, the muscles in his jaw bulging. "I could've …."

"Could've what, Jacob?" Shepard lifted her hands at her sides, palms up. "There's nothing you could've done. Your father was already in too deep. Those people were already suffering. We had other missions to tend to, and you wouldn't have been prepared to deal with it until you got the message saying the beacon from his ship activated."

Jacob paced away from her a few feet, leaving his back to her with his hands on his hips. "We could've saved more of them."

"Maybe. How many other people do you think would've died somewhere else in their place because I bumped going after your father?" Shepard pushed away from the table, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That's not fair, Shepard." Shaking his head, Jacob looked at the ground.

"Isn't it?" She clenched her jaw. "How many night's sleep do you think I've lost since this all started … trying to weigh out one life against the next? Better yet, have you stopped to consider the people in my own life I've lost? Kaidan Alenko, Ashley Williams, Liara T'soni, Dr. Tulina … I had a chance to save them all, and damn it I tried but they died anyway. Jane never even met Dr. Tulina! She should've never been on the Normandy, but she was and she died because of it—because of me." She raised her voice despite her best efforts to stay calm. "Virmire? Virmire I fought like hell to keep both Ashley and Kaidan alive, I knew I would have to make a choice between the two of them and one of them would die. So I tried like hell to keep them together, keep that choice from ever having to be made."

Shepard scoffed. "But Kaidan … Kaidan just couldn't let it go. He had to do the right thing, and he died doing it. Which should've meant Ashley would still be alive now. And Liara!" Shepard threw her hands up in the air, letting them slam back down on the workbench, taking a sick satisfaction seeing Jacob jump. "Liara was never supposed to die. Liara was always the one to drag my corpse to Cerberus. Liara was the one to become the Shadow Broker. Liara was the one to find the weapon I'm supposed to use to take down the reapers!"

Shepard sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slow. "But Liara died, too. So Garrus brought me to Cerberus, I'm choosing a new Shadow Broker, and I sent the Alliance after the weapon. I sucked it up and kept marching; doing what needs to be done."

Jacob turned around to face her. "We've got a weapon?"

Shepard snorted and shook her head, disappointed but unsurprised the weapon was his only takeaway. "It's a Hail Mary, Jacob. We need to find another way if at all possible. It might be the only way I can make sure that when I die this time, I stay dead."

"Shit." Jacob shook his head, pinching the skin of his brow again. "I'm sorry, Shepard."

"It is what it is." Shepard lifted her shoulder. "So, are you going to be able to deal with this?"

Jacob scoffed and leaned into the table. "I can't say this isn't completely insane, but hell, Shepard, we've got an army of ancient, giant AIs hell bent on destroying us coming our way. Crazy's par for the course. It might take me some time to wrap my head around all of this, but you can count on me to be in the fight."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. So, we're good?" Shepard held her hand out to Jacob.

He slapped his palm against hers, shaking her hand. "We're good."

"ETA, EDI?" Shepard turned her head to the AI access terminal.

EDI's hologram appeared. "The Normandy will dock with the MSV Strontium Mule in thirty-two minutes, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard turned her attention back to Jacob. "I'm going to go sit with Joker for a few. I'll be back to gear up before we head out."

"You got it, Shepard. I'll get it all laid out for you." Jacob smiled; his shoulders relaxing.

Shepard returned the smile, nodding her head before leaving the armory. Kelly stopped her before she could get very far, though.

Pushing her hair back behind her ear, Kelly smiled warmly at Shepard. "Shepard, I know you aren't particularly fond of the idea of having me here watching you, and reporting to the Illusive Man, but I hope you know that I genuinely care. If there is something you need to talk about, I'm here for you."

Shepard smiled. She knew when the decision was made to inform her team about Jane, the Cerberus crew members were left out of the revelation. She also knew there wasn't any way the crew wouldn't be whispering among themselves. For eleven days, Shepard didn't leave the ship and Miranda took command. Shepard had a constant escort, around the clock even while she slept. The official story said Shepard was being monitored because of her proximity to the blast and the hit she took, but anyone paying attention wouldn't have believed it for very long.

"Thanks, Kelly, but really I'm fine." Shepard patted the yeoman on her shoulder. "I'm just glad to be returned to active duty."

Kelly's face lit up with the contact. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure, but if I do need to talk, I'll come find you." Shepard stepped around Kelly. "I'm on my way to see Joker. I'll get to those messages piling up when we get back from the next mission."

Kelly waved at her as she made her way toward the cockpit. Shepard lifted a hand to brush the hair out of her face as she walked down the aisle. She stumbled, her breath catching in her throat when the arm she saw in front of her face wasn't the slender, alabaster arm of a woman, but that of a man. An arm twice the size of hers covered in thick, black hair with skin the color of honey. Closing her eyes, she sucked in a deep breath before opening them again. Relief flooded her when she saw her own arm in front of her once more.

"Are you well, Shepard?" EDI's voice came from a speaker nearby.

"Yeah, EDI, I'm fine. Just … remembered something and it startled me," Shepard said.

The Cerberus crew sitting at terminals on either side of her looked over their shoulders at her. Shepard smiled at them, waving off their worried glances. She put one foot in front of the other, finishing her trek into the cockpit. Sliding into the co-pilot's chair, she turned her attention to Joker. He hit the button to close the shutter.

Shepard shook her head. "Leave it open."

Joker shrugged. "Alright." He hit the button again, watching the shutter roll back open. "So, uh, you're … you again?"

Shepard smirked. "Yeah. I'm me again. Afraid I wasn't coming back?"

Joker scoffed, turning his head to look at Shepard with a cocked eyebrow. "Are you kidding? If going down with the old Normandy didn't stop you for good, no way would a little blast like that." Joker turned back to the controls in front of him. "Even if you did take your sweet time and leave us with Commander Crazy. Thanks for that, by the way. Nothing helps a man get to sleep better at night than knowing someone even more psychotic than Jack is roaming around the ship."

Shepard snorted. "That why you had her banned from the cockpit?"

"Uh, duh. She cut into your head and shot Garrus. I didn't want her anywhere near me or the controls to my baby." Joker glanced at Shepard.

"You weren't even curious to talk to her?" Shepard shifted in the chair, turning to face Joker fully.

"Why? So she can tell me all about how I die in a fiery explosion when the reapers rip apart the Normandy? Or is it the collectors again?" Joker scowled at the holographic controls in front of him.

Shepard let out a sigh. "You don't die on our watch, Joker. Never have."

Joker looked at her, his eyes scanning her face; looking for any sign she was lying, she thought. "Well, that's a relief. Still," he said, lifting a shoulder, "what would I have to say to her? She's not you, Commander. I don't know her."

"She knows you, though. And she cares about you. She cares about all of you," Shepard said.

"Yeah, well, she's got a funny way of showing it." Joker pointed out of the viewing port. "There's the MSV Strontium Mule."


	39. Chapter 38: I've Got to Try, Don't I?

**Chapter 38: I've Got to Try, Don't I?**

The MSV Strontium Mule had been a walk in the park, almost laughably easy. Hell, if it weren't for how terrified Shepard felt, she would laugh. From the moment she stepped foot on that ship, she knew were every last merc and mech would be, what weapons they'd carry, what tactics they'd use. She knew were every last crate of ammo, element resources, credits, Medi-gel, and tech research would be … she just _knew_. It wasn't like knowing because Jane fed her memories, or whispered in her ear of what to expect—she just knew; knew it as clearly as she knew her own name, the smell of Anderson's aftershave, the sound of Garrus' voice, and the taste of Grundan Krul's coffee.

Plainly put, the MSV Strontium Mule had been the single most cut and dry run she'd ever been on in her life. Something was different with her, she could see it reflected in the eyes of each one of her squad, right along with the wary way they watched her, waiting to see if she would lose control and become Jane again. She didn't ask, but she'd bet every credit to her name that every one of them carried one of those delightful syringes filled with sedatives—even Tali.

Oh, but it was good to see Tali again, especially to see her so happy with Kal at her side. By the sound of things, Tali accepted Jane with open arms, treating her just the same as she would Shepard. She had to admit, after seeing the way some of her crew looked at her … well, it was nice to know Jane had at least a couple of people she could talk to. Shepard just wished she could talk to Jane now, but she remained decidedly absent, leaving a hole in Shepard's mind and heart she never expected to feel.

She knew Samara could help her find the answers, help her find Jane—if the asari was willing—but she was too afraid of what those answers might be to even ask. So she waited, and kept listening, reaching out to Jane in hopes her impossible companion would respond.

"Jane? Jane are you there? I … I need you. What the hell happened? Where are you?" Shepard whispered, her cabin empty save herself and the ever-present EDI, but still she felt awkward speaking aloud to the voice in her head.

"EDI and Legion think they might have an answer to what happened to you and the others." Scrubbing a hand over her face, she let out a sigh. "They think it might have something to do with the massive amount of energy produced by the Catalyst when you activated the device the first time. Something about it tearing a hole in reality; causing parallel universes to collide or something."

Shepard leaned back in her chair, glancing at EDI's access node. The hologram remained inactive, but Shepard knew EDI was still there; still listening and monitoring everything Shepard said or did, performing constant biometric scans. "Shit, I don't know. It's all a little over my head. I passed their findings on to Mordin. I figured he'd know better than I ever would. I'm sure EDI would tell you all about it herself if … if you'd just say something. Anything."

Licking her lips, she turned her gaze back to her laptop, EDI's report still open on her screen. "She uh, she played some recordings for me. Of things that happened while I was out." Shepard snorted softly, shaking her head. "You were kinda rough on some of the crew. Didn't exactly make things easier for me, Jane. Although, I can't say I'm too surprised … at least not about that." Picking at the corner of her laptop, she swiveled back and forth in her chair. "Something changed for you, though, didn't it? You started acting … different. Nicer. More compassionate. More … collected."

Sighing, she closed the lid on the laptop and pushed away from her desk. "You said they'd found me, Jane. The others were trying to find me … for what? John was keeping me hidden from you though, wasn't he? You were after me, Jane. But not in the end, in the end you were trying to protect me from the rest. So what the hell happened?"

Standing, she paced in the silence for a moment, concern waring with frustration and the longing for that space to be filled once more. "Damn it, Jane! Where the hell are you?" Shepard slammed her palm down on the desk, jarring picture frames and medals.

"Shepard, Jack is on her way to your cabin. Would you like for me to let her in?" EDI's soothing voice filled the room.

Shepard turned to look at the blue hologram and took a cleansing breath. "Yeah, EDI. Let her in."

"Very well, Shepard." EDI's hologram folded in on itself, disappearing as the door to the cabin opened.

The elevator chimed, and a moment later Jack strolled inside. Stopping to tap on Spike's tank, she glanced over her shoulder at Shepard. Forcing a smile on her face, Shepard turned to lean against the desk.

Jack left the tank, taking a few steps closer to Shepard before leaning against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest and one ankle over the other. "We need to talk."

"Alright, I'm listening." Shepard lifted an eyebrow.

"Jane still quiet or whatever?" Jack dropped her arms, her fingers wiggling restlessly at her sides.

"She is." Shepard tilted her head to the side. "You alright, Jack? You look … nervous."

Jack grinned. "Fuck you, Shepard. I don't get nervous."

"If you say so, Jack." Watching Jack squirm did more to relax Shepard than she'd imagine. She knew what Jack wanted to talk about. Between the little displays of affection between her and Garrus, and watching EDI's recordings of the conversations she had with Jane, it wasn't hard to figure out.

"I didn't think this would be so fucking weird." Jack pushed away from the wall, making her way down into the living area of Shepard's cabin.

Shepard followed her, settling down on the couch. "Let me make it easier for you, then. It's alright, Jack."

Jack stopped next to the liquor cabinet and turned to look at Shepard. "He told you?"

Shepard shook her head. "Didn't need to. I've got eyes, Jack, and EDI's been filling me in on everything I missed. Helping me piece together what happened those eleven days."

Jack smirked. "Of course she is. EDI, you snitch."

"If you didn't wish for your conversations to be shared, you should have informed me, Jack." The snark in EDI's voice was unmistakable.

Rolling her eyes, Jack opened the liquor cabinet, pulling out a bottle of rum. "Like that would've done anything."

"She is the commanding officer of this ship. I'm obligated to do as she says, but I value the wishes of all the crew. I would have informed Shepard of your request." EDI paused. "My behavioral analysis algorithms suggest an eighty-seven point six percent likelihood Shepard would have respected your request for privacy."

Jack glanced at Shepard.

Lifting her shoulder in a shrug, Shepard flashed Jack a smug smile. "Guess we'll never know now. Sorry Jane drank all the vodka. We'll get more the next chance we get."

"Whatever." Shrugging, Jack lifted the bottle to her lips while crossing the room. Plopping down on the couch, she threw her legs up and eyed Shepard. "I wanted to be the one to tell you. I guess I felt I owed it to you or some shit. I know the two of you are cool with seeing other people, so I didn't expect it to be an issue or whatever, but …."

"But you love him, and that's new for you." Shepard turned to sit sideways on the couch, pulling her knee up and draping her arm over the back.

Jack looked down at the bottle resting on her thigh, picking at the label with her thumbnail. "I don't know. I mean, what the fuck is love anyhow?" She took another drink from the bottle. "Doesn't matter anyway. He loves you, and I'm not trying to stand in the way of you two."

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head. "Oh, Jack. What makes you think he can't love us both?"

"Never works that way in the vids." Jack snorted. "Two people fall in love and spend the rest of their lives together, just the two of them or some stupid shit." She shook her head. "I don't want none of that anyway. Being married. Having kids. God I hate kids."

Shepard choked back a laugh, knowing damn well Jack would one day be willing to completely risk life and limb for the kids at Grissom Academy. "What do you want, Jack?"

"Fuck, Shepard! I don't know. Why are we even having this conversation? This isn't why I came in here. I just needed you to know, alright?" Jack dropped her feet to the floor, leaning forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

"You're right. This is a conversation you should be having with him. But I know you well enough to know you feel safer having it with me." Shepard held up a hand, stopping Jack from retorting. "I know. I know. Safe wasn't the best choice of words, don't go getting all 'I'm a badass bitch' on me. You get what I'm saying."

Jack leaned back against the couch, watching Shepard in silence. "Shit. I've really got to be the galaxy's biggest bitch, don't I? What the fuck am I even doing here? You've got all this crazy shit going on in your head and here I am throwing this shit at you." She shook her head. "How do you even do all of this? I mean, damn, Alliance, how have you not just said fuck it all and bailed on all of this?"

Shepard smirked. "Don't think I don't know an evasive maneuver when I see one, Jack. I'll let it slide, though. But really, you should talk to Garrus. Tell him what you're feeling." Shepard moved to the edge of the couch and picked up the bottle of rum, taking a swig. "The reapers are coming, Jack. Where would I go? There isn't going to be any place still safe. Besides," Shepard said, tapping the side of her head, "I've got to figure all this out or I'm just going to be another voice in some other Shepard's head."

"Right." Jack chuckled, grabbing at empty air, silently asking for the bottle back.

Shepard passed it back to her. "I know, you don't believe me. You will. They all do in the end."

"Sorry to interrupt, Shepard. You wished for me to inform you when we've reached ETA two hours from twenty-one eighty-one Despoina." EDI's voice broke through the quite that settled in over the two women.

"Thanks, EDI. Call everyone to the comm room." Shepard stood, taking the bottle from Jack and putting the cap back on it. "Go on down, Jack. I'll be down in a minute."

Jack nodded, making her way up the stairs. Shepard put the bottle back in the liquor cabinet, letting out a heavy sigh when she heard the cabin door open and close. Running her hands through her hair, she pulled it back in a low ponytail. She spent a few minutes straightening her desk, giving her crew a chance to make their way to the comm room, and giving her a chance to order her thoughts. Taking another deep breath, she picked up a datapad and tucked it under her arm on her way out.

"Are you well, Shepard?" EDI's hologram popped up next to Shepard as she waited for the elevator.

"I'll be alright, EDI." Shepard turned her head, smiling over her shoulder at the hologram.

EDI softened her tone, lowering her volume. "Biometric scans are showing high levels of stress response."

Shepard chuckled, amused that the AI showed concern through inflection even though she still hadn't acknowledged she was beginning to feel emotion. She let out another sigh, and stepped inside the elevator when the doors opened. "I'm not sure if this will work, EDI. The leviathans were hard enough to convince with the reapers beating down their front door … I'm going down there to try and convince them of something entirely different, and they may just laugh in my face."

"Is leviathan cooperation vital to the war?" EDI asked.

Shepard leaned against the elevator wall, pursing her lips and crossing her arms over her chest. Sucking her teeth, she shook her head. "No. Not really. They're strong, and it certainly helps, but we can do it without them."

"I am not sure I understand your concern, Shepard." Confusion colored EDI's voice.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Shepard tilted her head back to look at the ceiling. "What if … what if the leviathans can stop The Intelligence, without my ever having to activate the Crucible? What if we can stop the war before it even really begins? What if I don't have to die there, EDI?"

The elevator stopped and the doors slid open.

Shepard glanced at Kelly standing a few feet away, and stepped out of the elevator. "We'll talk about it later. Thanks, EDI."

EDI's hologram sprung to life just outside of the elevator's door. "For what, Shepard? I offered you no solutions, nothing to aid you in your mission."

Shepard smirked. "Sometimes, the best thing anyone can do is just listen."

"I am always listening," EDI said.

Shepard's smile widened. "I know EDI, but it's different when you make a point to ask someone what's bothering them and then listen to them when they tell you about it."

"Shepard's right, EDI," Kelly said over her shoulder, "listening is a huge part of psychotherapy. It can be very cathartic for clients to simply be allowed to give voice to their thoughts and emotions. I can recommend a few books for you, if you're interested."

"I am interested, thank you, Yeoman Chambers," said EDI.

Kelly smiled, turning around completely to take a few steps closer to Shepard and EDI's access node. She dropped her voice, whispering. "EDI, I know your shackles are off. We all do, the Illusive Man notified all Cerberus personnel when it happened. You can call me Kelly, if you want."

Shepard shifted; her spine stiffening as she glanced around the CIC. "He did? Miranda and Jacob never said anything."

"How odd." Kelly glanced at Shepard. "Perhaps he assumed you'd already told them? I don't understand why you felt the need to keep it a secret, Commander, but the Illusive Man gave us orders to not press you on the subject." Kelly lifted her shoulder in a shrug. "I hope you don't mind that I brought it up, I wasn't trying to question your decision; I just wanted to make EDI more comfortable."

Shepard fought the urge to narrow her eyes, instead plastering a smile on her face. "I don't mind. Thanks Kelly. I better get in there, they're waiting." Shepard took a few steps away before stopping and turning back to EDI's access node. "Oh, EDI, tell Joker I'm going to need him to get off his lazy ass and come to the comm room, too."

"Should I use those exact words, Shepard?" EDI asked.

Shepard grinned. "Absolutely." She left EDI and Kelly, making her way through the tech labs to the comm room.

Everyone save Grunt, Zaeed, and Joker were present and accounted for, talking quietly amongst themselves when Shepard entered. All eyes turned to her as she took her place at the table, settling the datapad down in front of her.

She glanced around. "EDI, while we wait for the others, please pull up what we have on Despoina."

A holographic star chart appeared above the table, zeroing in on Siguard's Cradle, then further still on the Psi Tophet system. The door opened, and Joker hobbled inside, casting Shepard an annoyed glance. She grinned at him as he made his way to the table, leaning against it for support.

"James," Shepard said, glancing at the marine standing next to the door, "would you mind snagging Joker a chair from Mordin's lab?"

"Sure thing, Ídolo." James turned to the door.

"And better not touch anything else; Mordin may tranquilize you or something if you do." Shepard grinned at Mordin when he sniffed indignantly.

"Have no reason to tranquilize, will just shoot." Mordin blinked twice, his tone completely void of humor.

Shepard winked at him, knowing damn well he was merely playing the role of an indifferent sociopath.

James paused, looking back and forth between Shepard and Mordin. "Uhhh."

Jacob laughed, patting James on the shoulder. "Better just grab a stool from my station."

"Right." James left, shaking his head and mumbling to himself about the 'loco salarian.'

Grunt and Zaeed walked in seconds before James returned. Once Joker was settled on the stool, glaring at Shepard with only marginally less annoyance, she turned her attention back to the display.

"Go ahead, EDI." Shepard nodded her head at EDI's access node.

"The Psi Tophet system has yet to be explored fully. The existence of three planets has been discovered via probes sent into the system, though no further exploration has taken place." EDI zoomed the star chart in on the blue planet. "Our destination is the first planet from the system's star. It's called twenty-one eighty-one Despoina. Scans indicated, and it has been confirmed by Shepard, to be an oceanic planet with a nitrogen-oxygen atmosphere."

"There will be no place for the Normandy to land," Shepard said, taking over the briefing, "and even if there were, it is completely unsafe for the Normandy to get too close to Despoina." She turned her attention to Joker. "You'll need to keep the Normandy as far away as is possible and still be in radio range, you should keep the stealth systems engaged if possible."

"Are you expecting the Normandy to come under fire, Commander?" Joker rested his elbows on the table, the crease in his brow deepening.

"We can't overlook the possibility. This trip is being made under entirely different circumstances than other times." Shepard splayed her palms out on the table, glancing around the room, meeting the gaze of everyone present before settling back on Joker. "The species I'm going down there to talk with have worked very hard, for a very long time, to stay hidden from the rest of the galaxy and won't be happy to see me. At the very least, I do know they have some method of sending out an EMP capable of knocking ships out of the atmosphere, but I don't know the extent of its range."

"Shit." Joker grumbled, running his hand over his face.

Shepard grimaced, knowing she'd just ruined Joker's day. "We'll be going down in a shuttle, and it's quite likely that pulse will be turned on us. In the past, I went down in an Alliance Kodiak with Steve Cortez as pilot."

"Esteban?" James perked up, leaning forward on the table next to Joker.

Shepard nodded in response, opening her mouth to continue.

"Hey, you know he was on Fehl Prime, right?" James raised his eyebrow. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Shepard sucked in a deep breath, letting it out in a huff, her bangs fluttering. "We can discuss Cortez later. Now's really not the time, Vega." Shepard waved her hand, indicating the gathered crowd waiting patiently for her to continue.

James pushed away from the table and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, right. Sorry guys."

Kasumi giggled, reaching out to drag her hand along James' arm. "Awww. You're so cute when you're embarrassed."

James grinned at Kasumi, waggling his eyebrows. Shepard cleared her throat before he could say something undoubtedly inappropriate for the moment. Everyone turned their attention back to her.

"As I was saying, the Kodiak got hit by the pulse and we were grounded on a wrecked ship, the MSV Monarch. Cortez is one of the best pilots around—" Shepard paused to glare at Joker when he snorted. "And it wasn't easy for him to get us landed once that pulse hit."

"I can land us, Commander." James crossed his arms over his chest.

"You're sure, James?" Shepard crossed her own arms, leaning her weight back on one hip.

"Sure." James lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "The landing might not be as pretty as Esteban's, but I'll look better doing it." He grinned, winking at Shepard. "I spent a lot of downtime with Esteban, helping him work on the vehicles and taking them for test runs. I know the Alliance's Kodiaks well, and I'm willing to bet Cerberus' won't be much different."

Garrus chuffed. "You realize if you fail, we all end up in the water, right? Turian's don't swim, Vega."

"Hey, don't worry, Plates, I got this." James flashed Garrus a cocky grin.

"Plates? Seriously, Vega, that's the best you could come up with?" Garrus' mandibles fluttered.

Shepard held a hand up, silencing them both. "OK, James will fly the shuttle. At the very least, I know he knows how to crash one with precision." Shepard grinned, enjoying the confused look from James and the concerned looks from everyone else. "Now, the leviathans have taken refuge deep beneath the water. The Monarch will have what we need to repair the shuttle, and a Triton ADS. Because we're hitting Despoina early, I don't anticipate any hostile activity aboard the Monarch, but we'll be prepared anyway. While the ground team repairs the shuttle, I'll take the Triton into the water."

Garrus cleared his throat. "Alone?"

Shepard nodded. "Alone."

"So, what are these leviathan, exactly?" Lia asked, stepping closer to the table.

"EDI, please pull up archived images of Sovereign." Glancing at the hologram of Sovereign now floating over the table, Shepard picked up the datapad, running her fingers over the screen. "Can you transmit this to everyone's omni-tools?"

"As you wish, Shepard." EDI said.

A moment later, omni-tools began pinging all around the room.

"I typed up a report, detailing everything I can remember about the leviathans. I suggest you familiarize yourselves with it before we leave; even those of you who aren't going down." She turned her attention back to the hologram. "In the meantime, I'll give you the short story. The leviathans are an ancient species, older than anything we've ever encountered before. They dominated the galaxy, using some sort of indoctrination ability to control other species, forcing them to pay tribute."

Shepard cleared her throat, glancing down at the datapad still in her hand. "The other species created synthetic life, which later turned on their makers." She forced herself not to look at the quarian's in the room, hearing them shift around. "After seeing this cycle repeated, the leviathan created their own synthetic life, an AI they referred to as The Intelligence. They tasked this AI with preserving life at all cost, and set it to observe the behaviors of the other species to gather information about them and the synthetics they created."

Shepard sat the datapad down and glanced back up at Sovereign. "The Intelligence eventually decided the leviathans themselves were part of the problem, and in order to fulfill its task of preserving life at all cost … it began the first harvest, killing leviathans and storing their DNA in the first reaper—Harbinger, the same reaper now leading the collectors against us." She pointed up at the hologram hovering over the table. "Harbinger, just like Sovereign and all of the other reapers until now, were created in the leviathan's image."

The quite gasps and murmurs already filling the room grew in intensity. Shepard took a step back, giving her crew a moment to soak it all in.

"What do you mean 'until now'?" Grundan Krul spoke up, his normally quiet voice rising above the din.

Shepard moved back to the table; all eyes on her once more. "The collectors are taking human colonists because they are using them to build a humanoid reaper. The report I had EDI send you will also detail what I know about the collectors and the reapers."

"Why change their pattern now? Why humans?" Grundan Krul focused his gaze on the reaper hologram.

Shepard took a deep breath and shook her head. "I honestly don't know. When we destroy the human-reaper, EDI speculated the reapers shape each new reaper to look like the species they used to create it, but for whatever reason weren't able to complete a prothean-reaper. That being said, when the reapers come en masse, all I saw looked like Sovereign." She pointed up at Sovereign. "Maybe it's because I pissed them off enough succeeding in leading the galaxy against Sovereign." She shrugged. "The human-reaper isn't the finished product by far, maybe in the end it would look like Sovereign, too … the human part just at the core or something. Your guess is as good as mine."

"So these assholes—these leviathans—created this whole bloody mess and have—what?—just hid their heads in the sand and let it happen all this goddamn time?" Zaeed shuffled forward, nudging Kal and Jacob aside to press his palms into the table and stare down Shepard. "And you want to go down there and aske the sonsofbitches for help? Are you out of your goddamn mind? I say we nuke the shit out of the planet and blow those bastards to hell."

Shepard sighed as the room broke out in a cacophonous mix of arguments for and against blowing up Despoina, as well as whether or not it was a good idea to seek the aid of the leviathans. Shepard held up her hand, sighing again when no one seemed to notice. "Alright. Alright. Quiet down," she said, but still the noise continued.

A sharp whistle cut through the chaos as efficiently as the report of a gun. The room instantly fell silent, all eyes turning to James. Dropping his fingers from his mouth, he grinned at Shepard and nodded.

Shepard chuckled. "Thank you, James." She turned her attention back to the room. "We're not blowing up Despoina, and yes, I'm going to go down there and ask them to help clean up the mess they created. This isn't a democracy; it isn't up for vote, although your opinions have been noted."

Zaeed scoffed, shaking his head as he pushed off of the table, moving back to lean against the wall.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. "Tali and Garrus, I want you two there to repair the shuttle. James, you'll be piloting. Mordin and Miranda, there's a good chance I'll need medical attention when I resurface. You'll also be needed to help James protect Garrus and Tali while they work on the shuttle if we get any hostile visitors. EDI give us all a twenty-minute warning before it's time to head out. Dismissed."

Shepard watched as all but Garrus and Thane shuffled out of the room, still whispering to each other about the leviathans. Turning, she pushed herself up on the edge of the table, letting her legs dangle. Thane and Garrus moved around the table, closing in on her, both with tight expressions.

"What aren't you telling us?" Garrus stopped next to Shepard's left side, arms crossed over his chest. "You said you might need medical attention. What the hell happens down there?"

Shepard sucked her teeth. "The leviathans have a way of getting inside your head, almost like an asari's meld, but more forceful. They haven't hurt me too bad before, just a nose bleed and exhaustion, but I don't know how things are going to go this time."

Garrus hissed, turning to pace away from Shepard. "Spirits. Shepard, are you sure this is worth it?"

Letting the cold edge of determination seep into her voice, she said, "I am." She bit the inside of her cheek, debating with herself on whether or not she should tell him just how helpless she'd be down in the depths of Despoina; how easily the leviathans could kill her if they wanted to, or how they'd be far more interested in keeping her as their pet than killing her.

Thane reached out, tracing his fingers along her jaw. "Siha, what is it?"

Shepard closed her eyes and took a deep breath, shaking her head. "It's nothing."

"Shepard?" Garrus pressed.

"The circumstances are different this time; the reapers aren't hot on my trail. The leviathans might not be as willing to listen to me." Shepard lifted her shoulder, trying to downplay her concerns, knowing it was pointless with those two.

"You think you'll have to fight them?" Garrus' mandibles flared, sniffing the air around her.

Shepard snorted and shook her head. "There isn't any fighting them, not down there in a beat up old mech surrounded by enough water to crush the life out of me. Not with them able to force their way into my head and kill me with a thought." She could feel the anger rolling off of Garrus in thick, sickening waves, boring a hole straight through her chest. "I've got a plan."

"It better be a damn good one," he rumbled, his subvocals sounding strained.

"They've spent millennia in hiding, watching the rest of the galaxy through these artifacts of theirs. Using those they enthrall to erase all signs of their existence. The last thing they want is to be found, but they can't hide from me. And since I know where they are, I can use that fact to my advantage." Shepard pushed off the table, tucking her hands behind her back. "If I don't return, I gave EDI the order to broadcast the location of the leviathan out into deep space, telling the reapers exactly where they're hiding. Then, she'll send out a report to every species' government telling them of the leviathan's crimes and where they can be found."

"What if they don't believe you?" Garrus crossed his arms, dropping his weight to one hip.

"They'll be inside my head; I won't be able to lie," Shepard said.

Thane coughed gently into his fist. "What about Jane and the others?"

"I don't know. I haven't heard anything from Jane since I woke up. I'm … I'm not even sure she's still there." She fought back the twitch of her lips threatening to pull her mouth down into a frown. "Look, I know you two are worried. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not, but it needs to be done and I've got the best chance of getting it done. I'm not just asking them to fight in the war; I'm asking them to stop the war before we get in too deep. They created The Intelligence, and we've got time still, maybe they can come up with a way to stop it before the reapers arrive."

"You …." Garrus' mandibles flared, hope filling his voice. "You think they can do that?"

"Maybe." Shepard lifted her shoulders. "I've got to try, don't I?"


	40. Chapter 39: I Failed

**Chapter 39: I Failed**

"Are you _sure_ you can land the shuttle once that pulse hits?" Miranda sat up front next to James, ever the perfectionist in need of control; she had to settle for the passenger's seat.

"Hey, if you're scared and want to hold on to my arm … or something, I'm good with that." James' bawdy tone floated to the back of the shuttle.

Shepard groaned, shaking her head. Miranda's disdainful scoff the only response she gave. The rest of the ride passed in tense silence until the pulse hit and the shuttle took a dive. Shepard held on to her harness, bracing herself against the turbulence. Garrus sat stiff in his seat, his hand drifting to her thigh. She dropped her hand to his and squeezed reassuringly, turning her head to give him a smile.

"Oh, Keelah se'lai!" Tali's lithe frame jostled around in her seat, and she gripped her harness for dear life.

"Ooh Rah! Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!" James whooped gleefully from the pilot's seat. "Hang on everybody!"

James was right. His landing wasn't nearly as pretty as Steve's, but the marine got the job done. The high pitched whine of metal sliding against metal announced their arrival along with a few solid, definitely-shuttle-damaging bumps.

"Ow! Damnit, I bit my tongue." Tali gave a light shake of her head as the shuttle slid to a screeching halt.

"What've we got, Vega?" Shepard unbuckled her harness, moving through the shuttle to stare at the Kodiak's readings.

James turned in his seat to grin up at her. "All clear, Commander. Kodiak's a little banged up but it's nothing Plates can't fix. Ain't that right, Plates?"

"If it is, I'm throwing you overboard." Garrus moved to the shuttle door, assault rifle at the ready, waiting for Shepard's signal to move out.

James chuckled. "If you think you're big enough, you're welcome to try."

"I'm sure Miranda wouldn't mind lending me a little biotic back up." Garrus smirked, his mandibles fluttering.

Shepard pushed away from the pilot's chair, moving out of the way while Miranda and James unbuckled. "Alright, we'll need to borrow the shuttle's power cells to get the storage doors open. There's a few things of use spread around on the ship, scavenge what you can so long as things stay calm. You'll notice some strange orbs. The leviathans will be using them to watch us, but they can also use them to take control of you, given enough exposure. Destroy them on sight. I'm fairly certain they use them to create the pulse that took us down as well." Shepard nodded to Garrus.

He opened the shuttle door and dropped down to the ancient wreckage of the MSV Monarch. Shepard moved out behind him, her assault rifle sweeping the area in front of her. Once satisfied there were no reapers spontaneously dropping from the sky, she stowed her assault rifle and turned her attention back to the shuttle. Cosmetically a disaster, the Kodiak didn't seem too worse for the ware as far as functionality was concerned, and really that's all Shepard cared about. She nodded her head; Garrus and Tali would have it up and running in no time.

James set to work pulling the power cells for Shepard while she held a backpack open to receive them. Once the bag had all it could carry, she began lugging the power cells to the Monarch's power sockets. The relative silence of the ghost ship in contrast to the battle-filled chaos of her memories felt eerie, making the fine hairs on Shepard's neck stand on end.

She couldn't help but to stop and look over her shoulder every couple of minutes. Mordin and Miranda moved about the ship, gathering what useable items they could salvage and destroying the leviathan artifacts as they went. Tali and Garrus worked on the Kodiak, heads close together; occasionally the sound of Tali cursing at the shuttle followed up with Garrus' laughter would reach Shepard's ears. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, but she couldn't shake the unease slithering along her spine.

Finally, she chalked it up to being watched by the leviathans and focused on getting the door powered up enough to open. James went back and forth from the shuttle to Shepard, bringing her more power cells. The tight lines of his furrowed brow belied the easy smile he flashed at her as they worked.

"What's going on? Talk to me James." Shepard slid a power cell into the socket, watching as the gauge gave her the readout before moving on to the next socket.

"Ah, it's just jitters, Ídolo." James looked around him, and shrugged. "This place kind of gives me the creeps." He turned his attention back to Shepard, studying her intently. "You sure you want to go down there? I mean, if these leviathans are as bad as you make them sound …."

"I'm sure, James." Shepard smiled, opting to change the subject, hoping to ease the lieutenant's mind. "So, you and Kasumi seem pretty close. There something going on there?"

"Ah, come on, Ídolo. I don't kiss and tell. But uhhh … if there were, you know … would that be a problem? I mean, the Normandy isn't exactly under Alliance regs."

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head. "No James, no problem. It'd be nice to see, actually. Another reminder of what we're fighting for, right?"

"Right." James grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. "She uh, she moved down to the hangar so Tali and Kal could have some privacy up in port observation. It's good, you know, having someone down there to talk to."

Shepard glanced down at the gauge, watching it fill enough for the door housing the Triton to open. She brushed her hands together. "Good," she said, meeting James' gaze and nodding. "Talking is good for her right now." She gestured at the gauge. "Show time."

Shepard made her way back over to the shuttle, stealing Garrus' attention away from the Kodiak repairs long enough to press her forehead against his and give him a quick kiss. "The doors are open, I'm heading down."

"Shepard, let me look over the Triton first. Make sure it's all in working order." Tali wrung her hands, shifting her weight from side to side.

Shepard nodded her head, watching as Tali trotted over to the mech. She took the extra time Tali gave her to spend a few more stolen moments in Garrus' arms. He didn't ask her if she was sure about the mission, and she felt grateful; they'd settled it on the Normandy and he knew how important the leviathans could be for her.

When Tali called in with the green light, Garrus pressed his forehead to hers once more before letting her go, his subvocals whining with unarticulated worry. Garrus and James followed her to the Triton, helping her climb inside and then stood back as she activated the mech. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she walked the mech out to the side of the ship and jumped overboard.

Garrus' voice filled her comms before the Triton even hit the water's surface. "Be safe down there, Shepard."

Water filled her vision as the mech submerged. "I'll do my best. Comms usually cut out while I'm down here. Try not to worry, and remember: turians don't swim."

"Hmmm. Humans can, and Vega looks like he's got a good set of lungs. Mordin's amphibious." Garrus sounded strained, the humor forced to her ears.

"I'm sure they'd both be willing to try, but they'd never reach me. I'll be more than thirty-two hundred meters deep." Shepard fought to steady her breathing, not wanting her anxiety to eat up all of her oxygen. "I love you, Garrus."

"I love—." The rest of his words were lost to static.

"You're breaking up, Garrus. Don't worry, I'll see you soon." The comm went dead. She wasn't sure how much he actually heard, but in the end, she trusted in him to keep his head on straight.

The darkness closed in around her, the bright beam from the Triton illuminating a swath of nothingness in front of her. There in the quiet, with nothing to distract her, the new memories that didn't belong there—weren't hers and shouldn't be in her head, pressed in on her. She was on the surface again, dodging reaper troops and making a mad dash to the next power socket. Husks and brutes chased her down, zeroing in on her while marauders charged up the cannibals, keeping them on their feet and providing them with armored plating.

Shepard shook her head, trying fruitlessly to clear the images. Falling through darkness, layer after layer of memories of the great expanse filled her mind. The leviathan rising up just beyond the edge of a cliff sent a terror that wasn't hers lancing through her. She remembered thinking she was staring into the eyes of a reaper; stunted relief sweeping in when she realized the entity in front of her was purely organic.

It spoke to her, its voice deep and soft, sounding directly in her head. Invading her mind, it scoured her memories and used them to form the images of familiar faces. Using the visage of Ann Bryson and so many others from the Task Force Aurora team, the leviathan told her about the creation of the Intelligence and its subsequent betrayal.

Her team dragged her to her feet, urging her to the waiting shuttle. Brutes turned on one another, ripping into each other, ignoring Shepard and her team as if they weren't even there. They got her into the shuttle and took off; watching from the windows she saw a reaper near the ocean only to be pounced on and pulled below the water's surface by a leviathan.

The Triton touched down on a solid surface, sending a jolt through her, pulling her back to reality—current reality. For a moment, Shepard didn't move, shaken by the realness of her flashbacks. Nothing stirred around her save for seaweed dancing in the currents. The sound of her own ragged breathing anchored her in the moment. "Shit."

Her fingers trembled as she sent out a flare, using the soft glow to light her path. Bioluminescent jellyfish moved gracefully nearby, coral and seaweed lined her path. Whenever the light of her flare faded behind her, she sent out another. Her movements through the water felt automatic, and she felt entirely sure she didn't even need the flares. Shepard swallowed against the knot in her throat and trudged forward, dropping off an outcropping before continuing on. Shutting off all non-critical systems without thinking about it, she moved in sync with the memories. She plunged off of another outcropping, rounding the bend to make the final descent.

The memory of a probe she never actually launched from the Normandy flashed at her. She blinked once and it disappeared, licking her lips she continued. The ground beneath her shook, the rumbling audible through the mech. Bubbles rose up just past the ledge, and Shepard's heart pounded in her chest. She kept herself moving forward, even as the ground rocked beneath her again and she caught the first glimpse of the leviathan cresting over the ledge. She couldn't tell anymore what was real, and what was merely a mirage. Something told her it didn't matter either way. She stopped, watching the leviathan rise out of the depths. Stilling her breathing, she slowed her heart, letting her training take over.

The leviathan's voice broke through her mind, banishing all other thoughts. "You have come too far."

Something brushed up against her consciousness, brief and fleeting before recoiling.

"You should not exist." The leviathan's voice wormed its way into her every cell. "What are you? Why have you breeched the darkness?"

There was no gentle easing into the place of communion the leviathan created in her mind—where they walked her consciousness stealing the faces of people in her memories—no, not this time. There were no flickers in and out of reality, no sudden trips back and forth between that dark place her memories promised her. This time there was pain, sharp and hot, ripping apart the very fiber of her being.

"There are too many inside one vessel. This vessel will not hold them all for long."

"Stop …." Shepard groaned, her head swimming in a sea of agony.

She grit her teeth, fighting back against the onslaught of alien thoughts pressing against her mind. Her vision cleared for a moment, but only long enough to see other leviathans rising out of the depths, more than any of her memories accounted for. A red haze consumed her, voices whispering just beyond her range of hearing filled the moments of silence in between the grating voices of the leviathans.

"They know us. They have breached the darkness before."

"The Intelligence will find us. This Harvest has only begun, the vessel is filled with memories it cannot have."

There were too many of them, she couldn't track the voices. "Stop …."

"They have already begun construction of the Crucible. This cycle will end the Harvest."

Shepard shoved back with all her might, and for one brief moment, it didn't feel like she pushed alone. "Stop!"

On her hands and knees, her palms pressed into a solid, clear surface, water lapping in small waves just below. White and gray unidentifiable motes of debris floated in front of her face, filling the darkened atmosphere and adding to the otherworldly feel; catching in her lungs and tasting like ash on her tongue. Coughing, she sucked in deep gasps of fetid air, smelling of death and decay, until the odor cleared, taking with it the haze filling her mind.

Hands slid under her arms, pulling her to her feet. Her head jerked from side to side, taking in the battered, sickly faces of Jane and John. Shepard sobbed with a strange mix of relief and dread. They held her up, leaning against her as much as they supported her weight. Her gaze roamed, taking in the sight of hundreds of other Shepards, some pulling themselves to their feet while others lay, unconscious and prone on the ethereal floor. Catching sight of the truly unexpected, Shepard froze.

The Council stood before her; Udina, Sparatus, Tevos, and Valern. She squinted, her head still swimming. That wasn't right. Anderson filled the role of human councilor for now, and Sparatus resigned. As soon as the idea skirted across the surface of her thoughts, Udina shifted into Anderson and Sparatus into Quentius. Shepard let out a sudden, sharp, bark of laughter. Of course they chose faces meant to represent authority over her. She wasn't the lone, lost, little lamb stumbling into the lion's den by herself, and unlike before, they just saw _exactly_ who she was. Steeling herself, she tugged her arms free of Jane and John, taking a determined step forward.

"You made this mess. These Harvests are happening because of you." Shepard crossed her arms over her chest.

"You will pay tribute and end the cycle," the Tevos-leviathan spoke up, her face void of any emotion, the deep voice contrasting with the illusion.

Shepard shifted her weight, shaking her head. "We need your help, you created the Intelligence. There has to be a way you can stop it, stop the reapers."

"Without the Crucible," Jane added, stepping up on Shepard's right-hand side, crossing her arms over her chest, too.

John moved to Shepard's left-hand side. More Shepards started making their way to her, taking up station around the three of them while others formed a loose ring around the group, leaving Shepard, Jane, John, and the Council imposters in the middle.

"You will build the Crucible and succeed without our interference." The Quentius pretender flicked his mandibles, nodding his head decisively.

"No, the Crucible isn't enough. Something's not right with it, your Intelligence is the Catalyst and …," Shepard said, glancing around her at the weakened Shepards still lying unconscious, "it just starts this whole goddamn thing over again." She took another step forward. "Don't you get that? Your creation _controls_ the Crucible."

"We understand. You will be the key the Intelligence needs to finalize its solution. Your tribute will end the cycle." Coming from a leviathan wearing the face of Shepard's mentor, the words somehow felt more ominous.

"The cost will be paid, life will be preserved." The would-be Valern tucked his hands into the sleeves of his robe.

"What? No. We don't know that it actually ends the cycle." Jane dropped her arms to her side, her jaw slack. "We don't know what happens to everyone else once the Crucible is used. But obviously something isn't right because we," she said, waving her hand around to indicate all of the Shepards, "keep coming back to do it all over again!"

"Your fate is anomalous but ultimately irrelevant." The Anderson-leviathan waved his hand dismissively. "We will move forward, free to reclaim our rightful position in the galaxy once more."

Murmurs of unrest broke out in the gathered crowd of Shepards, bringing them pressing in closer and closer. Jane and John eased a little nearer to Shepard, their arms brushing up against hers. The muscles along Shepard's shoulder blades tensed, the animosity coming from the other Shepards palpable.

"Irrelevant?" Ruby pushed her way through the crowd, getting right up in the Anderson imposter's face. "Irrelevant? Who the hell do you think you are?"

The leviathans didn't flinch in the face of Ruby's ire; observing her as if she were nothing more than an unruly child threatening to hold her breath until she got her way, knowing her temper tantrum would only lead to her passing out.

"I stood in this very spot, fighting like hell to get you to see reason the last time I was here. I stood right here, _alone_ , and called you out for the cowardice of your actions and convinced you to fight in this war. _That's_ irrelevant?" Ruby snarled throwing her hands up in the air.

"Ruby," John warned, the tendons along his jaw standing out against his stubble.

Ruby ignored him, shaking her head at the mockery before her. "But apparently, Dawn lacks the backbone to call you what you are. Cowards! You know the outcome, so now you're not even going to fight? You're going to stay down here, hiding in the dark while the rest of the galaxy suffers through devastating losses to fight a battle _you_ started?"

The fake Valern sniffed just as disdainfully as the real one. "Why should we interfere on behalf of lesser races when our sacrifice is unnecessary to end the cycle? We can see your minds clearly; you will not abandon your task even in your darkest moments."

"You sorry, craven sonsofbitches! Do you _really_ think that after hundreds of thousands of years literally hiding from your own mistake that you'll be able to just waltz right in when this is over and build yourselves a fucking empire?"

"Ruby, stand down." Jane squared her shoulders, authority seeping into her tone.

Ruby spun, turning on Jane with a blood-thirsty sneer. "No. I don't take orders from you. Our alliance is over, Jane. You don't even get to talk to me. I trusted you to fix all of this, but you betrayed all of us when you chose her," Ruby said, shoving her finger in Shepard's direction, "and she tried to kill us! Look around you, Jane. Seem like a few faces are missing to you? Because it sure seems like more than a few are missing to me. That _bitch_ killed them while _you_ fought to protect her."

Jane held steady, flinching no more than the leviathans in the face of Ruby's rage. Instead, the corner of her mouth lifted up into a one-sided smirk. "Too bad you weren't one of them."

The crowd of Shepards shifted restlessly, whispers of 'killed them' filling the air. Shepard's heart dropped into her stomach. What did they mean? She looked around her, trying to estimate their numbers, but in the dim ambiance all she could say for sure was that the majority of them were staring back at her with narrowed eyes. Had she killed some of them? Could they even _be_ killed—she watched John land a perfect headshot on Ruby, but there she stood without a sign of the lethal wound.

Ruby smiled, the glowing scars crisscrossing her face only adding to the crazed look in her eyes. "Careful, Janey. You might be next."

"We tire of your bickering," The Tevos-leviathan spoke, her voice silencing the crowd. "The course has been set. You will return to the surface and do that which you are meant to, activating the Crucible and ending the cycle."

Ruby turned back to the leviathans, picking up where she left off as if nothing else had occurred. "You think that we won't rise up against you and tear you down just like we're going to do with the monsters that chased you into hiding in the first place?" She shoved her finger into the chest of the leviathan wearing the Valern disguise. "We—."

She collapsed to her knees, her hands fisting in her hair. Screaming in agony, she dropped to the floor, curling in on herself. Shepard took half a step toward Ruby only to stop when John settled a hand on her shoulder. She glanced at John and he shook his head. The leviathans watched Ruby writhe for a moment before dismissing her, turning their attention back to Shepard. The second they averted their gaze, Ruby's screams faded to whimpers, her chest rising and falling in heavy pants.

Shepard licked her lips, struggling to stay calm while her plan went sideways. "So don't fight. You don't have to fight to help. You had the ability to create something as complex as the Intelligence. So you can do something to stop it—rewrite its programing, give it a virus—something!"

"No." The Tevos-leviathan gave a firm shake of her head. "We are done here."

As one, the four leviathans turned their backs on Shepard and started walking away.

She followed them, determined to see it through to the bitter end. She still had her wild card, the threat of exposing the leviathans, to play. "Wait. The reapers are already on their way. The Harvest has already begun. They're going to find you. You can help me stop them before they reach the relays. You can—."

Blinding pain filled her head, spreading throughout her entire body, dropping her to her knees. The sound of her scream echoed back to her by every other Shepard, searing through her mind. Retching, blood spilled from her mouth, pouring from her eyes and nose. Then, just as suddenly, the agony disappeared. Shepard panted, tears stinging her eyes.

"Do not test our patience. We have been merciful beyond your understanding." The four Council imposters circled Shepard. "You breached the darkness not to beg for our assistance as supplicants, but to demand it with threats." Their voices pushed into her head, speaking in unison. "You live because we allow it, because you serve a purpose. Leave now of your own volition, or leave as our thrall. The choice is yours."

Shepard opened her eyes, gasping for breath. She blinked, red filling her vision. Fully conscious, secure inside the Triton, she felt blood roll down her cheeks like sticky tears. The rest of the leviathans retreated into the abyss, leaving one floating there at the edge to watch Shepard through the mech's glass.

She tried to activate the thrusters, wanting to flee to the surface but couldn't get her fingers to cooperate. Whimpering, she tried again; sobbing desperately when the Triton shot upward. Her ears felt clogged, and she didn't think it the shift in pressure could be blamed. She licked her lips, the taste of blood leaving a coppery tang in her mouth.

"I failed," Shepard thought, taking a shuddering breath, squinting her eyes against the pinpoint of light reaching her from the surface.

_"_ _You had to try,"_ Jane said, loud and strong in Shepard's mind. _"Maybe they'll reconsider."_

Shepard sobbed again, it turning into a strangled, wet cough leaving her gasping for air. The water around her no longer looked as black as night, hints of green and blue mingled with the red of her vision. Her lungs hurt and she was tired, so, so very tired. Eyelids drooping, she let them fall closed for just a minute.

A spike of panic filled Jane, seeping through to Shepard. _"No! Stay awake, Dawn. You have to stay awake to get us to the surface. You're hurt and the Triton's running out of air."_

Shepard forced her eyes open, her head lolling listlessly on her neck and groaned. She tried to reach for her omni-tool, intent on activating her suit's Medi-gel release, but she couldn't quite figure out how to move her arm. The light grew brighter, burning her eyes and clawing through her skull.

The diving mech broke through the surface, shooting out of the ocean. Shepard's hands, moving over the controls without her conscious direction, landed the Triton on the surface of the Monarch. The mech opened, and she spilled out, falling face first to the ship, her arms barely coming up in time to prevent her face from smashing into the metal.

"Shepard!" Garrus' called to her, sounding so far away.

Groaning, she pushed herself over to her back. She coughed, her lungs heavy and rattling in her chest. Garrus hovered over her, calling her name, but she couldn't get her eyes to focus on him. Miranda knelt down on Shepard's other side, her omni-tool open, waving it over Shepard. James appeared, hands pulling at Garrus' shoulders. Garrus jerked out of his grip, his growl cutting through the ringing in her ears. James grabbed Garrus again, yanking him to his feet and dragging him back. Mordin dropped down to her side in his place.

Something huge and dark moved above her, blacking out the sky before leaving her field of vision. Miranda and Mordin looked up, their jaws hanging agape. Shepard coughed again, expelling something wet and thick from her lungs, dragging their attention back to her. More dark shapes filled the sky, seeming to shrink before disappearing altogether.

_"_ _It's the leviathans."_ Despair riddled with disbelief passed from Jane into Shepard. _"They're … leaving."_

"I failed," Shepard said, feeling her lips move but unsure if they made any sound.


	41. Chapter 40: Aggressively Neutral

**Chapter 40: Aggressively Neutral**

"Get her on the bed, hurry!" Dr. Chakwas voice cut through the heavy fog surrounding Shepard's thoughts.

Opening her eyes felt like trying to move mountains with nothing but the sheer force of her will. Her head hung limply on her neck, chin tilted to the sky, lifting it even more impossible than opening her eyes. Arms wrapped around her back and under her knees, her body's only source of support. Her arm slid off her chest, dropping down to dangle out to the side, flopping uselessly with each bounce of movement.

She was falling—no … no, the arms still had her, settling her down on a hard, flat surface. A warm huff of breath brushed across her face before the familiar feel of Garrus' forehead pressed gently against hers. A soft keen filled her ears, and she wanted desperately to lift her hand, to run her fingers along his mandible and tell him she would be alright … but she couldn't figure out how to get her arms to move.

 _"_ _Garrus,"_ Jane whispered in the back of her mind.

"Her intracranial pressure is too high. Her implants are working to stabilize, but I think we're going to need …" Miranda's voice faded into nothingness.

She felt heavy and for a moment, she feared she might sink through the bed, right down to the med bay floor. Maybe she'd keep sinking, ripping through the decks until she hit that cold, familiar embrace of space, waiting to suck the life out of her once more.

 _"_ _No. No, we're not going to die."_ Jane pushed, urging Dawn to listen. _"Do you hear me? We're not going to die here."_

"… losing consciousness …"

She knew the voice. She had to know the voice, she just couldn't place it. Someone pressed something to her face, covering her nose and mouth. Hissing in her ears, frigid air pushed its way into her nose, filling her lungs. Warm fingers pulled her eyelids up, one after the other, shining an agonizingly bright light in her eyes.

"We've … you under …"

* * *

The beautiful, rich scent of coffee hung in the air. Shepard breathed in deep, the aroma chasing away the last vestiges of drug induced sleep.

 _"_ _Ow."_ Jane's voice brought a smile to Shepard's lips.

"Told you that would wake her up." Joker's voice came from somewhere on her left.

"I didn't doubt you, Joker. I only said it was best to let her rouse on her own." The chastising tone of Dr. Chakwas' voice was unmistakable.

Shepard opened her eyes, testing the soreness of her muscles by turning to seek out the source of the wonderful smell. The small motion hurt more than she wanted to admit. Everything ached, worse than the first week of N7 training. Joker lifted one side of his mouth in a half smile and held a mug out toward her. She grinned, pushing herself up a little more upright on the bed, ignoring the pain and reaching for the mug.

"No! Absolutely not. I need to run more tests before you go filling your system with caffeine." Dr. Chakwas pushed away from her desk, crossing the floor in long strides.

Shepard wrapped her hand around the mug and pulled it over, cradling it between both hands, inhaling deeply. "Better run those tests, then, Doc. My pilot brought me coffee. I'm pretty sure there's a law somewhere that says I have to drink it." She took a sip and moaned, more than a little obscenely, earning her a chuckle from Joker and a raised eyebrow from the doctor. "And it's Grundan Krul's brew."

Jane chuckled. _"I don't think she cares. She's got that scary doctor slash mom look on her face."_

"Well, your spirits seem high, at least." Dr. Chakwas pressed the tips of her fingers to the inside of Shepard's wrist, pulling her hand away from the mug. "You _are_ aware you nearly _died_ , Commander?"

"Suppose that explains the change in wardrobe." Shepard deadpanned, lifting the coffee back to her mouth to steal another sip despite the look of ire Dr. Chakwas threw her way. She turned her attention back to Joker. "Where are we?"

 _"_ _She knows you're deflecting."_ Jane said.

Shepard snorted inwardly and thought, "Yeah, but she won't press me so long as I'm smiling and someone else is in the room."

"Citadel." Joker lifted his own mug.

Shepard cocked an eyebrow. "The Citadel? Why the Citadel?"

"I'm just the pilot. You were down; Miranda said go to the Citadel. I took us to the Citadel." He lifted a shoulder. "You've been out for a couple of days. Half the ship's empty, taking advantage of the impromptu shore leave."

Shepard frowned, her eyebrows drawing inward. "Anderson been by yet?"

"Yep." Joker took another sip.

"And?" Shepard asked, narrowing her eyes.

"And he's awaiting word from me on your condition." Dr. Chakwas dropped Shepard's wrist, opening her omni-tool to wave it over Shepard's head.

Shepard sighed. "I think I liked it better when you two didn't talk so much."

Dr. Chakwas snorted, closing her omni-tool. "You're fine, Commander. I strongly urge you to take it easy for another couple of days … oh, who am I kidding?" She turned, making her way back to her desk and took a seat, her attention back on the console in front of her. "I'll message Anderson. I'm sure he'll want you to go report as soon as you feel you're able."

Shepard nodded to herself, glancing at the clock on the med bay wall. "EDI, notify the crew I'm up. They've got until twenty-hundred hours to report back to the Normandy. That'll give them a few more hours while I take care of business."

"Right away, Shepard." EDI's hologram hovered near the door. "The crew has been notified. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Shepard held her cup up, blowing the steam away, creating ripples in the dark surface. "Yeah. Do we have any intel on where the leviathans went? How many left? Any signs some stayed behind?"

 _"_ _I can't believe they refused to help. Ruby's right, they're craven bastards."_ Jane snorted softly. _"I can't believe they have me agreeing with Ruby."_

EDI said, "Twenty-two leviathans were witnessed leaving twenty-one-eighty-one Despoina. It is unknown how many, if any, remained. They were seen accessing the local relay, heading into the Omega Nebula. From there they could have accessed—."

Joker cut her off with a harrumph. "A shitton of other relays."

"Yes, thank you, Jeff." A hint of humor colored EDI's words.

 _"_ _It's already happening with them, isn't it?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard smiled and thought, "I think so."

Joker looked over his shoulder at the hologram. "Anytime, EDI."

The med bay doors slid open, clearing the way for Garrus as he made a beeline to her side. He hovered next to her before turning to Dr. Chakwas. "You're sure it's her?"

 _"_ _Yep. Still hates me."_ Sadness colored Jane's tone, tugging at Shepard's heartstrings.

"Garrus." Shepard narrowed her eyes.

"There's been nothing to indicate a change, Mr. Vakarian," Dr. Chakwas said without bothering to turn around.

"I had to ask, Shepard." Garrus perched on the edge of her bed, resting his hand on her knee. "How are you feeling?"

"My muscles are sore, but otherwise I'm fine." Shepard shrugged, taking a swallow from her mug.

"That's from a mix of blood loss, asphyxiation, and your implants working to keep you stable. I suspect it'll pass soon. Though drinking coffee instead of water might increase the recovery time." Dr. Chakwas glanced over her shoulder, catching Shepard's gaze.

Shepard grunted, taking another swallow. "Mhmm."

Garrus wrapped his hand around her mug, pulling it away from her mouth and out of her hand.

"Hey!" Shepard lunged forward, making grabby hands at the mug, her achy muscles screaming at her in protest. "Ow!"

Garrus flicked his mandibles at her and carried the cup across the room, setting it down next to Dr. Chakwas. "Here, have some coffee."

Dr. Chakwas laughed, picking up the cup, and spinning her chair around to face Shepard while she took a long gulp. Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at first Dr. Chakwas and then Garrus. He only smirked, moving to the sink to pour her a glass of water before bringing it back, thrusting it out at her.

"I hate you." Shepard took the glass of water, tossing her head back and swallowing down the whole glass before handing it back to him.

Jane chuckled, the sound not really carrying much mirth.

He flicked his mandibles at her, taking the cup and carrying it back to the sink. Shepard glanced at Joker, eyeing his coffee mug enviously. He sighed, pushed himself out of the chair and handed her the mug, letting her swallow half of the still-too-hot liquid ambrosia before Garrus turned back from refilling her cup. Dr. Chakwas scoffed and shook her head. When Garrus turned around, she hastily handed the mug back to Joker and smiled at the turian she loved. He growled low and shook his head, staring at Joker as he crossed his arms and dropped his weight to one hip.

"Alright, alright." Joker held up a hand, turning to make his way slowly to the door. "Sorry, Commander. You're on your own on this one."

The door slid open, revealing Thane. He stepped aside, bowing lightly to Joker who nodded his head in return before making his way out of the med bay. Thane met Shepard's gaze, smiling as he crossed the floor to stand at her side.

"It's good to see you awake, siha." Thane pushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear, letting his fingers trail down her neck.

Shepard leaned into his touch, turning her head to kiss the inside of his wrist before he could pull his hand away, earning her a soft smile. "Awake, and ready to get out of this bed." She held her hand out to him. "Little help?"

"Of course." Thane took her hand, letting her use him to brace herself as she pushed herself from the bed.

Shepard whimpered as sharp, pinpricks of pain danced up and down her legs under her weight. Thane shifted, sliding his other arm around her waist to support her. A moment later, Garrus was there, shoving the cup of water at her. She sighed, taking the glass and sipping from it before handing it back to him. She limped over to the counter where a clean set of clothes waited for her. Although moving was painful, she could already feel stubborn muscles stretching back out, loosening as she moved.

Scooping up her clothes, she turned to eye Garrus and Thane, a smirk tugging at her lips. "You boys staying for the show?"

Dr. Chakwas pushed away from her desk before either of them could respond. "Out, out, go on." She waved her hands at them, shooing them from the med bay.

Shepard laughed as the two men ducked their heads, scurrying from the room. She waited for the door to close behind them before hobbling back over to drop the stack of clothes on the bed and pulled off her gown. She glanced up at Dr. Chakwas. "I can hear Jane again."

Dr. Chakwas turned her chair to face Shepard, sitting back down. "How do you feel about this?" She glanced toward the door. "You didn't mention this in front of the others."

 _"_ _I don't blame you. Joker and Garrus both would've soured over the news."_ The soft sound of a sigh came from Jane.

Shepard pulled on her bra, groaning as she reached behind to close it, and lifted her shoulder. "Relieved? Insanely happy she's not gone?" She turned, leaning against the bed to step into her panties. "Dreading the reactions of some of the crew … of Garrus."

That seemed to bring a spark of smugness from Jane. _"Insanely happy, really?"_

"Oh shush," Shepard thought with a smirk.

"And … how is Jane?" Dr. Chakwas stood, opening her omni-tool as she made her way back to Shepard.

"Surprisingly sane." Shepard shrugged. "Far more together than she's been since the Lazarus Project."

Jane snorted. _"Thanks."_

"You're welcome," Shepard whispered, ignoring the twitch of Dr. Chakwas eyebrow.

Dr. Chakwas passed the omni-tool over Shepard, turning her attention to the screen. "How so?"

"Well, she hasn't said a lot since I woke up, but she … feels more stable." Shepard tilted her head to the side. "And I saw her and the others while down there while the leviathans were in my head. She looked more together, better composed."

Dr. Chakwas glanced up, holding Shepard's gaze for a moment before turning her attention back to her omni-tool. "I see. And do you agree with this assessment, Jane?"

 _"_ _Uh, yes, yes I do."_ Jane's shock at having the doctor address her directly, and so casually, echoed Shepard's.

Shepard nodded when Dr. Chakwas met her gaze again. "She says she does."

"Excellent. I had hoped that might be the case." She closed her omni-tool. "Jane showed significant signs of improvement while you were comatose. I believe her time spent existing in a more … physical way, helped to reorient her." She smiled warmly. "That being said, with the change of circumstances … it's possible you might regress, Jane. If you begin to feel as if that might be happening, you should let us know right away."

 _"_ _I—of course. Is this weird? This feels weird."_ Jane stirred in Shepard's mind. _"I mean, she can't hear me … so, yeah, this is weird."_

Shepard surprised herself with a bark of laughter, pulling on her pants. "She says it's weird that you're talking directly to her since you can't hear her."

Dr. Chakwas nodded. "Well, I hope that you can get used to it, because I plan on encouraging everyone to do the same. I think that it might help keep you grounded, for lack of a better term."

Shepard paused, her shirt half over her head. Pulling it down the rest of the way, she met Dr. Chakwas gaze, her eyebrows raised.

"And I encourage you, Dawn, to be her voice when she has something to say. The two of you should be working together, not against one another." Dr. Chakwas raised her eyebrows, giving Shepard that all too familiar challenging look.

"You … think all of that will help?" Shepard shoved her arms through the sleeves, tugging her shirt down into place. "And it's not going to be a major disruption to the crew? And people will remember to keep it to themselves when around the Cerberus crew?"

 _"_ _I think I she's right, Dawn. I think I need this."_ The desperation in Jane's voice spoke volumes.

Dr. Chakwas rested her hand on Shepard's shoulder. "I believe it will take some adjustment, but yes, Commander. I think it will help the both of you; possibly the others as well." She squeezed Shepard's shoulder before dropping her hand and moving back to her desk. "Perhaps the two of you can come up with a code word, or a nickname for the crew to use when addressing Jane where others might overhear."

"Doc?" Shepard sat on the bed, pulling on her socks.

"Yes, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas watched her closely.

Shepard took a deep breath, and let it out slow. "There's something else."

Dr. Chakwas didn't respond, only kept her assessing gaze on Shepard.

"When I was in the coma … something happened. I think I somehow hurt—killed some of the others." Shepard kept her head down, focused on the task of getting her boots on and laced up. "I think Jane knows what happened."

"Jane?" Dr. Chakwas moved to stand in front of Shepard again.

Jane was quiet for a long moment before finally letting go of a resigned sigh. _"Yeah. I don't know how exactly, but you … pulled some of them in. Absorbed them somehow … and knocked the rest of us out with some sort of blast. It happened as you were waking up."_

Shepard swallowed, her fingers trembling, making her struggle with her laces.

Dr. Chakwas covered Shepard's hand with one of her own, her voice soothing as she asked, "Commander, what happened? What's Jane telling you?"

"She said something happened when I was waking up. That I—," she said, her voice cracking, "I absorbed some of them somehow. And then there was some sort of blast that knocked everyone else out. I don't understand, Doc. Absorbed them how?" Shepard dropped her shoe laces, shaking off Dr. Chakwas hand to scrub her face, burying her fingers in her hair. "There's been … I've been having memories that aren't my own. Different from seeing them from Jane. They're there, inside of me like it really happened to me … but I know it didn't."

Dr. Chakwas sat down on the edge of the bed next to Shepard. "Commander … unfortunately, there are no records of something like this ever happening before. I have nothing to compare any of this to." She snorted softly. "This is the sort of thing that if a doctor can figure out, it'll make them famous." Smiling, she rubbed her hand along Shepard's back soothingly. "In the meantime, I do know that I've never met anyone stronger than you. And if anyone can pull though this, my money's on you."

A wry smile tugged at Shepard's mouth and she blew out a noisy breath. "Thanks, Doc."

Dr. Chakwas leaned over, bumping her shoulder against Shepard's. "Are these memories disturbing when they happen?"

"No … not really. I mean, some of the memories themselves have been disturbing but considering what we're facing, how could they not be?" Shepard shrugged, turning her attention back to tying her boots.

"Does it feel like you're losing control of your faculties? Can you stop the memories if you try?" Dr. Chakwas asked, opening her omni-tool to take notes.

"I haven't really tried too hard to stop them, but they are a little disorienting." Shepard dropped her foot to the floor, pulling up the other one to rest on her knee while she worked the laces. Her muscles were already feeling less sore than when she woke up. "It did feel like I was moving on autopilot a little. Going down to find the leviathans."

"Autopilot?" Dr. Chakwas quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Shepard put her foot back on the floor, bracing her hands on her knees. "I didn't have to think about where I was going, I already knew. When I started struggling to think, to use the controls … I just started doing them without thinking about it."

"So like muscle memory?" Dr. Chakwas typed something into her omni-tool.

Shepard thought about it for a moment, tilting her head to the side. "Yeah. Yeah I guess so."

"Any indication of autonomous thought?" Dr. Chakwas paused, her hand hovering over her omni-tool. "Um, anything that seems to deviate from the memories?"

"I know what autonomous thought means, Doc, and no. It's all just memories so far." Shepard stood, stretching her arms over her head.

"Well … I'm not concerned. Not yet at least. I do want you to try and keep track of these memories and see if you are able to stop them, particularly if they become difficult for you to deal with. And I want to know if anything new starts happening."

"That's it?" Shepard let a sharp bark of laughter escape her mouth.

Dr. Chakwas raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you suggest something else, Commander?"

Shepard raised her hands up in the air. "Yes!" She let them fall, slapping them against her thighs. "No." She raked her fingers through her hair, studying the floor in front of her feet. "Hell, I don't know. This whole thing … I just don't know. It's crazy. It's all crazy and I'm pretty sure I am, too."

 _"_ _You're not crazy."_ Jane snorted. _"I know crazy. You're stressed out. You're scared. But you're not crazy."_

Shepard's lips twitched and she whispered, "Thanks." When she looked up again, Dr. Chakwas smiled at her. "What?"

Dr. Chakwas stood, crossing the floor to stand in front of Shepard. She reached up; smoothing her hand over Shepard's disheveled hair. "You're not crazy." Letting her hand fall away, she smiled again. "I can't imagine how hard this is for you, Shepard. But you're not crazy, and you're not going through this alone."

Shepard snorted. "Yeah. Definitely not alone." She tapped the side of her head. "Never alone." She turned to the med bay door. "I better go see Anderson."

"Shepard?" Dr. Chakwas called after her.

Shepard turned, letting her Commander's mask slip back into place.

Dr. Chakwas frowned. "Do you think you are unfit for duty?"

"What?" Shepard's jaw dropped, her eyebrows creeping up her face; Commander's mask cast aside in her shock.

"I want to know if you are concerned about this to a point where you think you are unfit for duty." Dr. Chakwas crossed her arms. "You don't seem confident in my decisions, and I'm not complaining, but if you genuinely feel that it is not in the best interest of you or others aboard this ship …."

"Then I should resign." Shepard crossed her arms and pursed her lips.

 _"_ _No! No, you can't do that!"_ Jane all but screeched in Shepard's head.

"So, do you believe you are unfit for duty?" Dr. Chakwas asked again.

Shepard sucked her teeth. "No … no, I think I'm—we're the _only_ ones fit for this duty." She turned on her heel and left the med bay without another word.

Garrus and Thane waited just outside; Garrus leaning against the wall, arms crossed loosely while Thane stood in front of him, hands tucked behind his back. They both turned to smile at her when she walked out of the med bay. She found herself smiling right back, the stress and panic from a few moments before dissolving into nothingness.

She came to a stop next to them and glanced around the mess hall, finding it empty, she reached out and grabbed a hold of both of them, pulling them in closer so she could lace one arm through each of theirs. "Come see Anderson with me?" She looked back and forth between the two of them. "I'm still required to have guards."

"Of course, siha." Thane dipped his head.

Shepard leaned over and kissed his cheek, earning her a grin.

"Where's my kiss?" Garrus flicked his mandibles.

" _You_ stole my coffee." Shepard smirked, moving them toward the elevator.

Garrus chuffed, hitting the elevator call button, his mandibles drooping. Shepard chuckled, pushing up to her tip toes to press her lips against his cheek. He flared his mandibles, grinning at her as he pushed his forehead against hers. The elevator opened, and they stepped inside, Thane hitting the button for the second deck.

Shepard waited for the elevator to start moving and cleared her throat. "So … uh, I thought the two of you should know before Dr. Chakwas decides to send out a memo or something … I can hear Jane again." She looked up at Garrus, weary of his reaction.

His mandibles fluttered but he didn't say anything or even turn to look at her.

 _"_ _I suppose I shouldn't be surprised,"_ Jane said, disappointment seeping into her words. _"I hoped … I tried to make things right with him. I swear I did."_

"I'm sorry, Jane," Shepard thought.

"This is good news." Thane patted her hand on his arm. "I know her absence concerned you."

 _"_ _Glad someone thinks so,"_ Jane said.

Shepard smiled at Thane, mouthing the words 'thank you'. He squeezed her hand, his gaze flitting to Garrus before moving back to hers and he dipped his head. The elevator stopped, opening up on the CIC.

Kelly looked up, flashing Shepard a smile. "The Illusive Man would like to speak with you, Commander."

"Fantastic." Shepard suppressed a groan. "I'm on my way to see the Council. Tell him I'll call him later."

Kelly's eyes bulged, her jaw working soundlessly for a moment before she nodded. "Yeah. Sure. Of course, Commander. I'll let him know."

Shepard allowed herself a grin, winking at the yeoman. "Thanks, Kelly. You're a peach."

Kelly blushed, twisting back and forth at the waist and waved her hand at Shepard. She chuckled, leading Thane and Garrus off the Normandy. The atmosphere on the Citadel felt tense as they made their way to the Presidium. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, making her feel naked without her armor. She wished she didn't feel like the extra weight of her armor would crush her. Garrus' mandibles stayed flat against his jaws, his gaze in constant motion. Thane didn't appear to be looking around as much, but Shepard knew that he'd be just as aware—if not more so—of every potential threat in the area.

They made their way to Anderson's office without incident, and Shepard let out a slow breath. The second Shepard stepped inside, Anderson's assistant, Rebecca, called him on the intercom before gesturing down the hall. Shepard smiled, nodding at Rebecca as she made her way to Anderson's door, Thane and Garrus right behind her.

Anderson stood at the back of his office, the rest of the Council in front of him via hologram. He looked up when she walked in, waving her over. "Shepard, good timing."

She glanced at Thane and Garrus; they nodded and took up station by the door. She noticed Garrus stood in front of Thane, keeping the Council from getting a good look at him, and it warmed her heart to see how close the two of them had become. Making her way over to Anderson, she turned to face the Council, her hands tucked behind her back.

"Shepard. Good of you to join us." Tevos smiled, clasping her hands in front of her.

Shepard suppressed a shudder, remembering the hell the leviathan faux-Council put her through. "Thank you, Councilor. I would've come sooner, but I was only just released from med bay."

"Are you injured, Shepard?" Quentius flared his mandibles.

Shepard smiled, giving him a slight shake of her head. "Nothing to worry about, sir."

"Well, Shepard, it's been a while since we've spoken. What progress have you made?" Tevos asked.

Shepard rubbed the back of her thumb across her forehead. "I've actually got something important to tell you unrelated to the collectors."

 _"_ _Are you sure you want to tell them this?"_ Jane stirred restlessly. _"The fact that we didn't win the leviathans over might not go over so well."_

"I think it'll go over worse if the leviathan are spotted by someone else, or show up demanding tribute and we didn't warn them," Shepard thought.

Anderson shifted next to Shepard, turning his attention to her. She glanced at him and lifted her shoulder a little before focusing back on the rest of the Council.

"I just left Sigurd's Cradle where I encountered a planet housing what I believe to be an unknown, ancient species." Shepard returned her hand behind her back, clasping it in the other.

"Commander, are you telling us that you've made first contact with a new species?" Valern raised a brow ridge.

"Uh, actually, I'm telling you I've made first contact with an old species. A very, very old species. Older than the protheans." She suppressed a smirk at the astonished looks on the councilor's faces.

Tevos licked her lips. "The protheans? Are you sure?"

"I believe so, yes." Shepard nodded once.

"Who are they? Where are they? There are protocols in place for this sort of thing." Tevos waved a hand frantically. "How could we not know about them?"

"Excuse me, Councilor." Shepard held up a hand, interjecting before Tevos could give herself an aneurysm. "I'll gladly tell you everything I know, but I feel I must start with telling you that this species is responsible for the creation of the reapers."

"You're certain, Shepard?" Anderson asked, undoubtedly remembering the conversations she'd had with him about the leviathans and hoping to cut off arguments from the rest of the Council.

Shepard turned, meeting his gaze. "Sovereign was made in their image. They look just like the reaper that attacked the Citadel."

"By the Goddess." Tevos' face lightened, giving her a sickly pallor.

Quentius flared his mandibles. "So they are hostile?"

Shepard sucked her teeth and gave a light shake of her head. "They are … aggressively neutral."

"Aggressively neutral? What does that even mean?" Valern asked.

Shepard clenched one of her hidden hands into a fist. "Let me start at the beginning."

"Please do." Quentius' arched his brow ridges.

Shepard forced a tight smile. "Let's see if I can condense this. Hundreds of thousands of years ago—I don't know how long—this species ruled over all others."

"Ruled over?" Tevos chirped again.

Shepard held up a hand, silently pleading with the asari for a little patience. "I'll get there, I promise. The other species created synthetic life, and eventually the synthetics turned against their makers. This kept happening over and over again."

Valern shifted, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his robe. "Like the quarians and the geth?"

Shepard opened her mouth, ready to defend the geth but closed it again. Instead she pinched the bridge of her nose, rubbing thumb and forefinger over her closed eyelids. "Mmm. So, this species—they didn't name themselves—decided to create their own synthetic because they were just arrogant enough to think that the same thing couldn't possibly ever happen to them."

"The reapers?" Quentius asked.

 _"_ _Christ, do they ever shut up? I don't think they were ever this vocal with me."_ Annoyances passed back and forth between Jane and Dawn.

"No exactly." Shepard cleared her throat. "They created an AI they call the Intelligence, giving it the job of figuring out how to preserve life at all costs. They sent this AI off to solve this problem, expecting them to come up with a solution to keep their subjects from creating other synthetics and then getting wiped out by their creations." Shepard made air quotes as she said, "Tribute does not flow from a dead race."

"They created an AI to keep people from creating AIs because AIs keep killing their creators?" Anderson raised an eyebrow.

Shepard's lips twitched and she nodded. "Yes sir."

"So where do the reapers come in?" Quentius asked.

"The Intelligence spent some time studying this pattern between organics and synthetics and came to the conclusion that their creators were part of the problem. The solution it devised—to save life at any cost—was to kill off their makers and the other races capable of creating synthetics, and preserve their DNA in synthetic form; beginning the first harvest."

"This is insane. How could they allow this?" Tevos' hand fluttered to her forehead.

"Well, by the time they realized their plan was backfiring, it was too late. They were being slaughtered. Some ran, hiding throughout the galaxy where they've stayed hidden all this time." Shepard rocked forward onto the balls of her feet, standing still was beginning to undo the progress she'd made loosening her achy muscles. "Watching and waiting, letting these cycles keep going. They've kept their numbers low, hidden in the depths of oceans, and used artifacts to watch for signs that they've been discovered."

"What artifacts?" Valern asked.

Shepard lifted a shoulder. "They called them 'fragments' they're iridescent orbs. They're able to watch and listen through these orbs, but also emit some sort of frequency they use to enthrall people—using these people to help keep their existence secret."

"Enthrall? Like indoctrination?" Valern asked, sounding unnervingly impressed with the idea.

Shepard nodded. "Indoctrination is a perverted form of the natural abilities this species possess, yes. It is also the method they used to rule over what they considered to be lesser species spread throughout the galaxy. It is possible, given the right circumstances, particularly if we win this war and they no longer feel the need to hide, that they might attempt to retake their place as a ruling apex species."

The councilors exchanged concerned looks.

Shepard continued, hoping to get through everything she had to say before they started bickering over this new perceived threat. "They communicated with me through some method similar to an asari's ability to meld … but less gentle."

Tevos' eyes widened. "How so?"

"I was forcefully and painfully pulled into this meld by several of these … whatever they are." Shepard licked her lips. "They dug through my memories until they found images of the four of you, and then presented themselves in my mind as the Council."

Anderson made sucked in a quick breath, making a startled sound. "Us? Why us?"

Shepard glanced at him, offering him a weak smile. "My guess is to impress upon me the idea that I'm subordinate to them in the hopes of keeping me compliant."

Anderson snorted softly. "You? Compliant? Clearly they didn't look too closely at your memories."

Shepard tried to smile but it fell flat as she considered her next words. "I tried to convince them to join us against the reapers, but they declined insisting that they won't get involved." Shepard hesitated a moment, taking a deep breath. "I tried to push the subject, reminding them that this was their doing and that if they didn't help us to end it, they'd have to continue to live in hiding until they were finally found."

Anderson inched a little closer to her, his voice laced with concern, "What did they say?"

"They didn't say anything so much as punish me for my insolence. They did something that caused intense pain, starting in my head and radiating throughout the rest of my body—making me cough up blood."

Garrus chuffed loudly enough to draw Anderson's attention. "Vakarian you have something to add?"

Shepard glanced over her shoulder, and Garrus met her eyes. Shepard jerked her head to the side, telling him to join her. He nodded, leaving Thane to fend for himself and crossed the floor to stand next to Shepard.

"You were with Shepard for this … meeting?" Quentius flared his mandibles.

Garrus gave a curt shake of his head. "No, unfortunately. They were too far beneath the ocean for anyone to accompany Shepard. There was only one diving mech available."

"What did you see, Vakarian?" Anderson asked.

"When Shepard returned, she was barely conscious and bleeding from her mouth, nose, eyes, and ears." Garrus held Anderson's gaze, his mandibles fluttering lightly. "Honestly, anyone but Shepard and I doubt they would've made it back to the surface at all." Garrus glanced at Shepard and she nodded. "Shortly after she resurfaced, those of us ashore witnessed members of this species Shepard described leaving the ocean and flying off into the sky."

Quentius' subvocals trilled. "You saw them?"

Garrus turned back to look at the turian councilor. "Yes sir."

"Others with you saw them as well?" Quentius' brow ridges raised; his gaze steady on Garrus.

Garrus nodded. "That's correct. Lieutenant James Vega, Tali'Zorah vas Neema, Miranda Lawson, and Professor Mordin Solus were present."

"Where are they now? We would like to hear their accounting of these events." Tevos clasped her hands in front of her, seeming to have regained some of her composure.

Shepard cleared her throat. "Shore leave. I was unconscious in the med bay when we arrived to the Citadel and my XO released the crew while I recovered. I can call them in if you'd like."

Tevos looked between Quentius and Valern before turning to Anderson and then looking back to Shepard. "I don't believe that will be necessary."

"I don't suppose you know where this new species went?" Valern asked.

Shepard lifted a shoulder and shook her head. "We know they used the relay to enter the Omega Nebula before us. From there …."

"Space flight? Without ships?" Valern's brow ridges shot up.

Shepard took a deep breath. "Seems so."

"I see. I believe the Council has much to discuss. If you remember anything else, please pass the information along to Anderson," Tevos said, clearly dismissing Shepard.

"Of course." Shepard nodded, turning her attention to Anderson. "We'll catch up later?"

Anderson smiled, patting her on her arm. "I'll call you when we're done here. Maybe you can swing back by before you leave the Citadel?"

"Sure. I gave the crew a few more hours shore leave." Shepard nodded to Garrus, making her way back over to the door.

"So, where to now?" Garrus asked falling in behind Shepard.

"Back to the ship, for me at least. I need the galaxy's hottest shower and then I'm going to eat the entire mess hall."

 _"_ _God that sounds wonderful,"_ said Jane.


	42. Chapter 41: Experimental Control

**Chapter 41: Experimental Control**

Shepard stepped out of the shower, breathing easier as the residual heat from the water continued to soak into her muscles, chasing the last of the aches away. She wrapped a thick terrycloth robe around her before drying off her hair and picking up her hairbrush.

"Shepard?" EDI's disembodied voice came through the speakers in the bathroom.

"Yeah, EDI?" Shepard started running the brush through her hair, hitting a tangle and remembering why she preferred short hair, but still determined to see just how long she could let it grow.

"Is this an appropriate time to speak to Jane?" EDI almost sounded hesitant.

Shepard smiled at her foggy reflection in the mirror. "EDI, did you wait until I'd be alone to ask?"

"Yes, Shepard. Is that a problem?" EDI asked.

"Not at all, EDI." Shepard's grin widened, pleased with the progress the AI was making with social cues. "Most people prefer privacy for this sort of conversation. Go ahead, EDI, Jane can hear you."

_"_ _This ought to be interesting,"_ Jane said.

"Be nice, she's trying to apologize," Shepard thought.

_"_ _Oh,"_ Jane said, surprise seeping through their connection. _"I didn't expect this."_

"Jane, I have come to realize that I behaved in a manner that was hurtful to you, and I would like to apologize." EDI was quiet for a moment. "I allowed the behaviors of Jeff and some of the other crew to influence my behavior instead of forming my own opinions. After an analysis of your behavior while Shepard was comatose to that of your past behavior, I believe that you were making a genuine effort to repair your relationship with the crew. It would have been more appropriate for me to respond to you in the same nature in which you approached me. I apologize."

_"_ _That's alright, EDI. I forgive you. I know I wasn't doing much to earn anyone's trust before,"_ Jane said.

"She says, 'That's alright, EDI. I forgive you. I know I wasn't doing much to earn anyone's trust before.'" Shepard moved the brush over her hair again, making sure the last of the tangles were removed.

"Thank you, Jane. Dr. Chakwas has recommended that we speak with you directly as much as is possible. I have made note of this and altered my algorithms." EDI's voice sounded pleased.

_"_ _You're welcome, EDI, and thank you."_ Jane felt light and happy in the back of Shepard's mind. _"It really means a lot to me."_

"She says you're welcome and thank you. It means a lot to her." Shepard put down the brush. "I'm starving. You two good with chatting more later? Because between Jane and I, we've only got one mouth and I'm about to stuff it full of food."

"Yes, Shepard," EDI said.

_"_ _Yep,"_ Jane said.

Shepard nodded her head and left the bathroom, the smells of roasted vegetables and seared mystery meat wafting up from down the stairs led her to the couch. Thane sat, waiting for her with two plates and glasses situated on the coffee table. She stopped, standing at the edge of the couch, her hands tucked into the pockets of her robe.

He smiled up at her, holding a hand out. "Join me, siha."

Shepard glanced over the neatly ordered plate, with food that actually looked like something she might want to put in her mouth, and raised an eyebrow. Slipping her hand into Thane's she let him lead her to the cushion next to him. "Gardner didn't make this."

"No, he did not." Thane smirked. "I thought you might enjoy something a little more …."

"Edible?" She picked up the plate in front of her, breathing in the aromas. "Appetizing?"

He chuckled. "Indeed."

She settled the plate back down to the coffee table and raised an eyebrow. "Thane, did you make this?"

"I did." Thane handed her a fork.

_"_ _He's never cooked for us before,"_ Jane said, her amusement lifting the corners of Shepard's mouth in a smile.

"Jane's just reminded me that you've never cooked for us before."

"How terribly neglectful of me. I must apologize for the inconsiderate behavior of all other … versions of myself." Thane chuckled. "I hope you—all of you—find it enjoyable."

Shepard caught his gaze and held it, leaning in to kiss him. "I'm sure it'll be wonderful. Thank you."

He surprised her, slipping a hand into her hair to cup her head, urging her back to him as his lips found hers again. His tongue warm and inviting as it slipped into her mouth; Shepard returned the kiss, thoughts of food swiftly disappearing. Jane wordlessly retreated; pulling back into the recesses of Shepard's mind as she haphazardly tossed her fork to her plate.

She shifted on the couch, pulling a leg up and tucking it beneath her so she could lean in closer to him, more than happy to indulge him in the impromptu make out session. Lifting her hands to his neck, she caressed the soft ridges of his frills, savoring the way it made him tighten his grip on her. She trailed her hand down his neck and chest before tugging his jacket free of his shoulders, tossing it aside.

She expected him to resist when she nudged him back against the couch—giving him control during their intimate encounters had been a part of their arrangement, then again so had keeping things from going that far outside of their designated time or place. Surely he'd stop her when she moved to straddle his lap, but instead, he trailed his lips over her jaw, kissing and nipping at her throat. Shepard moaned, the warm glow inside of her ratcheting up to a roaring fire. Running her fingers along the scales of his arms and shoulders, kneading the solid muscles beneath, she slipped her hands between the edges of his vest and his back to touch just a little more of him.

He kissed his way up to her ear and whispered, "Your food is getting cold, siha."

"Mhmm." She moved a hand to his jaw, pulling his face back and reclaiming his mouth with her own.

His hands moved to her knees, slipping up over her thighs and pushing the robe aside until his fingers wrapped around her bare hips. Thane moaned into her mouth, gripping her hips and pulling her closer before breaking the kiss to return to nuzzling against her neck. "I thought you were hungry."

"Was I?" Shepard gasped when he ran his tongue over her skin, leaving a cooling wet trail in his wake.

Her heart slammed against her ribs when he tugged at the knot of her belt before pushing the robe open and exposing her nakedness. Shepard flushed, suddenly conscious of the faint scars that still crossed her body … a body that would already appear every bit as alien to him as she was. In all their time together—all of their practice sessions as she'd come to think of them—her clothes stayed on. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, gnawing on the corner.

Thane leaned back, his gaze roaming over her inch by inch with a level of concentration she'd never seen matched by anyone else. She swallowed, holding her breath as his hands ghosted over her skin, moving up her thighs, over her hips and waist before sliding around to her back. He met her gaze, the green of his irises nothing but a thin ring around fully dilated pupils. Lifting a hand to her face, he tugged her lip free of her teeth with his thumb and guided her closer to him with his other hand, pressed against her back, until their lips met.

"You're beautiful, siha," he whispered, his breath warm on her lips.

A lopsided grin spread across her face and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you. So are you."

He chuckled, a soft chuff of breath against her cheek before returning his lips to hers, his tongue delving into her mouth. Shepard's breath caught in her throat when his hand found her breast, brushing his thumb over her nipple. Rolling her hips forward, she moaned finding a nice, firm bulge waiting there for her to rub against, and his fingers spasmed against her back; the only encouragement she needed to do it again.

Thane hummed, pulling away from her, resting his forehead against her collarbone. He dropped his hand from her breast, using it instead to grip her waist. His voice sounded raw, cracking when he spoke, "Perhaps we should eat now."

Shepard let out a deflated sigh, rubbing her thumb beneath his jaw. "You are a cruel, cruel man, Sere Krios, but I love you anyway." Smiling, she kissed the top of his head and put a foot down on the floor behind her, ready to climb off of him.

She gasped as his hands tightened on her waist, stopping her from moving, and arched her eyebrow in question. He pulled her in closer until the bare skin of her chest pressed against the leather of his vest. Wordlessly, he turned her, keeping her cradled against him as he laid her back, stretching out over her. Pushing up on the couch, he hovered over her, and she stared up at him wide-eyed before slowly blinking.

Opening her mouth to ask him what he was doing, to tell him it was fine and they could just eat, the words vanished when his mouth covered hers. His tongue moved against hers, slow and measured, as he lifted her hand to his neck and held it there for a moment, silently asking her to leave it before running his hand down the length of her arm. A moment later he brought her other hand to join the first, using his knee to part her legs as their tongues continued to dance.

Reaching down between them, he slid a hand up her thigh spreading her legs wider. She felt him brush across the coarse hairs of her mound and then deft fingers spread her slick folds to send waves of need crashing over her. Shepard squirmed beneath his touch as he dragged his fingers up, soaking them in her fluids before circling her clit, avoiding contact with the bundle of nerves. She clung to his neck, whimpering against his lips as he broke the kiss and pulled back, looking into her eyes as he pressed against her clit.

"I love you, too, siha," he said, choosing that moment to return her sentiment.

Shepard's breath caught in her throat, her muscles already tightening as the pressure built inside of her. He lowered his head kissing along her jaw, grazing his tongue over her pulse. Working slow circles between her legs, he kissed along her collarbone before tracing his tongue over the curve of her breast, pulling her nipple into his mouth. She moaned, losing herself to the feel of his mouth and hands on her flesh—no barriers between them; just the euphoric feel of him there, in the moment with her.

"Thane," she whispered, her hands clutching at his neck in need.

His answer came in the form of teeth gently scraping over her nipple, tearing another ragged gasp from her throat.

"Thane … I don't think I …" She whimpered again, unable to make herself tell him it was too much. Unable to tell him he needed to stop, because it felt too good for her to control herself if he intended to test her limits.

He moved, his teeth finding her earlobe, nipping gently. "Let go, siha." Sliding his hand down, he dipped fused fingers inside of her.

"Oh gods." Her insides clenched around him, her back arching.

His thumb took up where his fingers left off by pressing into her clit, sliding up and down before turning in circles. Rocking his hand, he slid his fingers slowly out before easing them back inside.

"Oh." Shepard tugged at Thane needing to taste him desperately. "Oh gods."

He seemed to understand, bringing his mouth back to hers. His fingers curled inside of her, exploring her depths and bringing her closer and to the brink. Rolling her hips, she stayed with his rhythm, letting the pressure build inside of her. Her breaths came fast and shallow until she felt like she might suffocate, forcing her to pull her lips from his to suck in deep mouthfuls of cool air in between bliss-filled whimpers.

He buried his face in her neck, each kiss and nip of his teeth feeling like a live wire against her delicate skin. Shifting his weight to his elbow, he freed his other hand to palm her breast, trapping her nipple to roll it between thumb and finger sending her over the edge. Her back arched, her body shuddering as wave after wave of ecstasy crashed over her. Her head thrown back, the breath ripped from her in a high-pitched squeak as her throat spasmed, her fingers digging into the muscles of his neck and shoulders. Where others might have stopped, he kept at it, carrying her through the waves until her body started to relax once more; slowing to a loving caress as she collapsed back down to the cushion beneath her.

When the small, gentle shudders ceased and her breathing evened out, Thane removed his fingers from her, balling a fistful of her robe in his hand instead. His forehead pressed into her collarbone, his breathing deep, slow, and purposeful. He didn't move or speak, and after a long stretch of silence, Shepard began to feel uneasy.

She rubbed her thumb over the arch where his shoulder curved into his neck. "What's wrong?" she asked, keeping her voice low and unobtrusive.

He took another couple of measured breaths before moving his lips over her skin so gently she almost thought she'd imagined it. Rubbing her thumb back and forth over his scales once more, he shuddered under her touch, his kisses picking up fervor. Thane pushed himself up, watching her through heavily-lidded eyes. He scraped his teeth across his lip—something she couldn't remember him ever doing—before kissing her, his tongue seeking hers out hungry and demanding.

She swore she felt the moment his resolve cracked, crumbling to pieces before falling away completely. His lips left hers, and he sat up, taking her hands and pulling her up with him as he left the couch. Shepard stood before him, watching him with hopeful anticipation as he pushed the robe from her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. Running his hands down her arms, he took her hands in his again, leading her around the coffee table and to the bed.

He pulled her to him, stopping next to the bed, and threaded his fingers through her hair. He kissed her again before resting his forehead against hers and took a deep breath. "I …" The words caught in his throat and he closed his eyes, licking his lips before trying again. "I don't want to wait anymore."

She took his face in her hands, unable to ignore the hint of uncertainty hanging in the air between them. "Are you sure? I know I've given you a hard time over waiting, but really … I'm perfectly happy just to have you near me."

The corners of his mouth lifted in a slow smile. Tugging at her hips, he pressed himself against her, letting her feel just how sure he was. Shepard's eyebrows twitched, sliding her hands down his neck and over his chest she tugged at the buckles of his vest, taking it slow to give him time to change his mind. His gaze swept over her as she worked, moving from her face to graze over her shoulders and chest. She opened the vest, pushing it out of her way to run her hands over his chiseled chest and stomach, savoring the feel of him beneath her fingers.

He shrugged his shoulders, letting the leather fall away from his body, and pulled her in close. Feeling her breasts press against his bare chest—for the first time, no matter how vivid the memories that didn't belong to her—his heart beating against her, calmed her, filling her with a sense of warmth and safety. She closed her eyes, imagining she could feel the thread connecting them, anchored in their hearts, that she knew must be there.

Taking him by the waist, she turned, guiding him down to the bed before pulling off his boots and tossing them aside. Climbing up on the bed next to him, she nudged him back until he laid flat. The light shining through the dark pools of his eyes illuminated every ounce of emotion, showing her the years of loneliness and pain, but something else, too: hope and desire; a passion that burned so brightly it took her breath away and threatened to bring tears to her eyes.

Blinking, she sucked in a slow breath and tore her gaze from his before what she saw there overwhelmed her completely. Lowering her face to his chest—as much to hide her eyes from him than anything, afraid if he saw her tears welling up, he'd change his mind—she began kissing, licking, and nipping her way down over his chest as she worked at unbuttoning his pants. Putting her feet back on the floor, she hooked her fingers in his waistband, and he lifted his hips for her, letting her ease his pants down.

She stopped, kneeling between his knees as she tossed his pants aside. Taking a moment to appreciate his vulnerability; the trust and the love he offered her, filling her with a different kind of warmth. She pushed herself up, running her hands along his thighs. Glancing up, she caught and held his gaze as she dragged her tongue along his length, grinning at the croak of breath escaping him.

As much as she wanted to crawl on top and have her way with him, she thought it might be easier for him if she gave him control. She kissed her way back up his body taking his hand in hers before pushing off the bed. He stood with her, taking her in his arms, hands and lips brushing across every inch of her they could reach. She pulled down the covers, lying back against the pillows, holding his gaze as he pressed a knee to the mattress to lean down over her. He ran a hand along her thigh, and she opened her legs to him, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him to her.

Thane moved up onto the bed, kneeling between her legs. She watched him as he took his time, his gaze roaming over her body, lips slightly parted. Tracing his fingers over each of her scars, his mouth moved but no sound came out. Still, she recognized the name of the goddess Arashu on his lips. Smiling, she reached out to him again, and he lowered himself to her, hesitating once again.

She caressed the back of his head, her fingers running along the edges of his crest. "You're over thinking this." She kissed his brow. "EDI's monitoring me; she'll let you know if things start to go wrong. But I really don't think they will; Jane's giving us space."

He slid his arms under her shoulder's resting some of his weight on her, his erection, warm and teasing just barely resting along her slit. "I—it's not …."

Shepard cleared her throat, watching him until he met her gaze. "Are you … feeling self-conscious?"

"Perhaps."

Shepard chuckled lightly. "Oh, any other time I would tease the hell out of you. The big scary assassin who can kill me … what, twenty different ways from here …?"

Thane huffed, nipping at her shoulder hard enough to make her squeal and jump. "Twenty-five at least."

Shepard laughed wrapping her arms further around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. She rolled her hips back, sliding herself against his length. His eyelids fluttered, a hoarse moan escaping his throat.

"You have absolutely nothing to worry about, and after what just happened over there," she whispered, nodding her head toward the couch while wiggling her hips until she had him lined up for entrance, "you've already more than impressed me. You want me to beg? Because right now I have no shame, and I will totally beg."

"That's an intriguing idea." He grinned.

Shepard pouted, sticking out her lower lip, and he chuckled. Taking her lip gently between his teeth, he shifted his hips, easing himself just into her opening. Shepard sucked in a shuddering breath, lifting her ass off the mattress to work him in further, and he moaned a soft growl of approval as he pushed himself flush. Wrapping her legs around him and locking her ankles behind his knees, she pressed her lips to his and just savored the new sensations as their bodies adjusted.

He pulled out slowly, testing the waters while he held her gaze, flooding her with his love and tenderness until it took her breath away. He moved again, agonizingly slow, and she whimpered. It seemed to be the only encouragement he needed as he built up to a speed that pushed him deeper with each thrust.

Swiftly being carried back to that place of euphoria, she clung to him, her gasps and moans growing louder as she lost all restraint. The feel of his muscles tensing beneath her fingers along with the sounds of his ragged breathing and moans of pleasure, tipped her over the edge, and her body curled around his as her inner walls spasmed against his length. She gasped convulsively before the air caught in her lungs, her throat closing down on her, and Thane let out a loud cry. She forced her eyes open through the waves in time to see him throw his head back, grunting as he slammed into her one last time; throbbing as he emptied himself inside of her.

Her hands urged him down to her lips and they kissed, breathing in one another's shuddering breaths until the final waves of their orgasms subsided. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she refused to let him leave her just yet, not ready to give up the feel of him surrounding her. Thane shifted just enough to slip his hand up to cradle the back of her head, kissing her one last time before resting the side of his face against hers.

"I love you, siha," he spoke softly, his thumb rubbing back and forth just behind her ear. "I don't want to lose you. When they brought you back to the Normandy …" His voice broke, and he swallowed. "I was afraid."

She squeezed him tight, running her hands over his neck and back. "I love you, too. And I'm sorry I frightened you … but it seems to have worked in my favor."

He chuckled, pulling back to look into her eyes. "You are as devious as you are beautiful."

Shepard grinned. "I'm also starving."

He shook his head. "I tried to convince you to eat."

"Mmmm, this was better." She ran her thumb over his lower lip.

He smiled, leaning down to kiss her. "Was it?"

"Gods yes." She licked his lip before nipping at it.

He chuckled again, giving her a quick kiss before pushing himself off of her, rolling over to lie on his back next to her. "You should go eat something, siha."

"Mhmm, in a minute." She rolled to her side, nudging his arm out of the way to snuggle in next to him, resting her head on his chest.

Thane wrapped his arm around her, trailing his fingers along her back and shoulder. Shepard hummed contentedly and snuggled in closer. They stayed like that, lying together in the afterglow for a few more minutes without saying a word.

Finally, she pushed herself up on her elbows. "Thank you."

"For what?" Thane turned his head a little so he could better meet her gaze.

Shepard scrunched her shoulders up until they brushed against her ears. "For being one of the kindest, most patient people I've ever met. For being nice to Jane when I wasn't around, even though I know she did her best to get under everyone's skin at first. For taking a chance on me despite … well despite how insane everything about me must've sounded. For being willing to share." She grinned. "For cooking for me."

"Ah. You don't get to thank me for cooking until you've eaten, and it's cold now so it probably won't taste nearly as good." Thane cupped her cheek in his hand, caressing her face with his thumb. "Everything else has been my pleasure, siha."

She leaned down and kissed him. "I'm going to go eat every crumb on that plate right now, and I bet everything I own that even if it's frozen solid, it's still far better than anything on this ship."

He laughed, pushing the blankets off of him when she sat up. She let her gaze linger on him a moment as he gathered his clothes before she made her way to the bathroom, grabbing her robe along the way. Once she'd cleaned up and tied her robe back around her, she went back to her room, finding him sitting on the couch in just his pants. It brought a smile to her face as she picked up her plate, settling in next to him.

Shepard dug in to the still just barely warm plate, grunting her approval in between bites. Truthfully, she ate too fast to really taste it—her hunger pangs boiling over the second the first bite hit her tongue—but what her taste buds did pick up on was fantastic. She caught Thane watching her shovel it in, and he chuckled, taking his time with his own plate.

She finished, putting the plate on the table before picking up the glass of tea, guzzling half of it even though the ice had mostly melted, watering it down. She leaned over, kissing Thane on the cheek before standing up and stripping off her robe. Feeling his gaze on her as she dressed, Shepard glanced over and grinned. He smiled at her, returning his attention to his plate. She sat down on the edge of the bed, slipping on her boots before heading to the bathroom to retrieve her hairbrush.

When she returned, she sat down next to him, running the brush through her hair before pulling it back in a low ponytail. Finishing off her tea, she kissed Thane on the cheek again. "Thank you for cooking for me. It was fantastic, and now I won't starve to death."

He laughed, setting his plate aside. "Are you going down to talk to the Illusive Man?"

Shepard groaned, dropping her chin down to her chest. "Yeah. Suppose I should."

_"_ _You could just have Kelly tell him to fuck off instead,"_ Jane offered.

Shepard snorted softly. "There's an idea," she thought, "but I doubt she'd be that easy to convince."

"And then to see Anderson, yes?" Thane raised a brow ridge.

She nodded once. "Mhmm. You want to come with me?"

"I do." He smiled. "If that's alright with you."

Jane scoffed. _"As if you'd tell him no about anything after that."_

"Shush," Shepard thought, resisting the urge to smile.

_"_ _You do know that even if I'm not forefront in your thoughts, we can all still_ hear _everything you do;_ feel _everything you feel."_ Jane huffed. _"It's more than a little disturbing … especially for most of the men. John won't shut up about it."_

"Uh … I'm sorry?" Shepard turned her head a little to the side, arching her eyebrow. "It _is_ my body though, and I'm not going to just stop having sex because it's _disturbing_ for you."

Jane sighed noisily. _"I don't expect you to … I wouldn't in your shoes either; if the roles were reversed and Kaidan was still alive."_ A soft wave of sadness swept through their connection before Jane shut it down. _"Sorry. I know you tried. This time it was on him."_

"Yeah," she thought, her shoulder's collapsing, shoving her hands between her knees.

Memories from the others—the Shepards she supposed were now somehow more a part of her than even Jane was—began to surface, filling her mind with images of Kaidan's smiling face, the sound of his laughter, and simple conversations they shared.

"Siha?" Thane shifted, angling himself more toward her, and rested his hand on her back. "Is everything alright?"

She blinked, looking up to meet his gaze and forced a weak smile. "Yeah." She furrowed her brow, giving a slight shake of her head. "Yeah everything's fine." She cleared her throat. "Sorry, I was just talking with Jane … got distracted."

"Ah. Jane, are you well?" Thane slid his hand down her back before pulling it back to his lap.

Shepard chuckled and shook her head. "… so weird."

_"_ _Don't … don't tell him I said it was disturbing."_ Jane hesitated a moment. _"Just tell him I was thinking about the people we've lost."_

"She's just thinking about the people we've lost." Shepard lifted her shoulders a little bit and smiled. "She'll be alright."

"I see. My deepest apologies." Thane turned his focus toward the photographs Shepard kept of her old crew.

_"_ _I really don't want to talk about it right now; can you just do whatever it is you were doing? Please?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard cleared her throat again, pulling Thane's attention back to her before he could bring up the picture of Kaidan. "So, do you want to go with me to talk to the Illusive Man, too?"

_"_ _Thank you."_ Jane pulled back to the recess of Shepard's mind, leaving her in mental silence once more.

Thane looked back at her, and dipped his head. "If you'd like."

"I would." She smiled, taking his hand in her own.

He squeezed her hand. "Very well."

Shepard grinned, waving a finger up and down at Thane. "You should go dressed like that. Maybe he'll be too distracted by your sexiness to give me shit."

Thane laughed. "Distraction for him, or for you?"

She ran a hand over his bare chest, leering at him. "Can't it be both?"

He took her hand, bringing it to his mouth to kiss. "I'll get dressed."

She gathered up their dishes while he finished dressing, and then they left her cabin, taking the elevator down to the mess hall. Shepard passed the dishes over to Gardner, who looked completely unhappy that Shepard ate something he didn't cook. She offered him a sympathetic smile, and reached over the counter to pat him on the arm, earning her a grin.

She looked up when she heard Garrus' voice, seeing him leaving the main battery with Grundan Krul. He stopped at the top of the stairs, his head swiveling in her direction as he scented the air. Grundan Krul glanced up, following Garrus' line of sight until he found Shepard. Garrus looked back and forth between Shepard and Thane, his mandibles fluttering lightly. Thane coughed gently into his fist. She felt Jane return, her curiosity piqued, but she had the courtesy not to say anything.

Shepard took Thane's hand in hers and squeezed reassuringly. Leaning over a little closer she whispered, "It's a part of sharing with a turian. We'll adjust."

He dipped his head, running his thumb along the back of her hand. "Indeed."

She glanced back at Garrus to see he'd turned his attention back to Grundan Krul; the batarian nodding every so often at whatever Garrus said. She waited a moment until it seemed their conversation was dying down before dragging Thane along with her as she crossed the mess hall to stand in front of Garrus.

She smiled at Grundan Krul when they both turned toward her before letting her focus stay on Garrus. "We're going to see what the Illusive Man wants, and then going to see Anderson. Do you want to come with us?"

"That depends." Garrus fluttered his mandibles, amusement creeping into his icy blue eyes. "Are you going to do your best to piss off the Illusive Man again?"

Shepard shrugged. "Probably."

Garrus smirked. "Then I'll be there."

Shepard grinned, turning her attention to Grundan Krul. "Garrus stole my coffee when I woke up. Would you mind making me some more? I could sure use it."

Grundan Krul looked back and forth between Shepard and Garrus. "I've been told the doctor doesn't want you having caffeine right now."

Shepard glanced at Garrus, narrowing her eyes. "He told you not to make me anymore, didn't he?"

Grundan Krul nodded once, confirming her suspicions.

"You know I outrank him." She arched her eyebrow.

He lifted his shoulders in a shrug, holding them there as he said, "He scares me more."

Jane snorted.

Shepard smiled, her lips pulling up to near maniacal levels. "Does he now?"

"You shouldn't have told her that." Garrus chuffed, shaking his head.

Grundan Krul gave her one of his rare smiles. "I've never woken up with you sitting across from me, scowling and muttering to yourself, while you use me as a fixed point to calibrate the scopes still attached to your weapons."

"One time. It happened one time, ages ago on Omega." Garrus stepped down to stand next to Shepard, fluttering his mandibles. "It's easier when I have a face to focus on."

Jane laughed; the sound bright and easy in Shepard's mind. _"There has to be more to that story."_

"That all it takes?" Shepard scoffed. "Too easy."

"Remind me and we'll ask him about it later," Shepard thought.

Jane's laughter eased to a stop. _"He won't tell you if he knows I'm interested."_

"You really shouldn't have told her that," Garrus repeated, crossing his arms over his chest.

She winked at the batarian who appeared completely unfazed by Garrus' warnings. "In the morning?"

Grundan Krul nodded his head. "In the morning." He lifted a hand in a half wave before turning and making his way back to the main battery.

"You're going to be in there at oh three hundred for coffee, aren't you?" Garrus jerked his head toward the main battery.

"Don't be ridiculous. That would require _me_ getting up at oh three hundred." She grinned. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

Shepard watched Garrus, a slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Wake Grundan Krul up at oh three hundred, and tell him to have coffee waiting for me at oh five hundred and I won't show him why he should be more scared of me than Garrus."

Jane snickered. _"I almost feel bad for him."_

"Very well, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI."

Thane chuckled and Shepard flashed a smile at him.

Garrus flicked a mandible. "Can I sleep in your room tonight?"

She shook her head from side to side, keeping her gaze locked on his. "Nope. You told him not to make me more coffee."

_"_ _Seriously?"_ Jane asked.

"Yep," Shepard thought.

He chuffed, shrugging. "I'll share Jack's cot, then."

Shepard glanced back at the nearest intercom. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?" A hint of amusement colored EDI's disembodied voice.

"Tell Jack that if she lets Garrus sleep with her tonight, there's a pretty good chance you'll be waking them both up at oh three hundred," she said, glancing back at Garrus as she delivered the final part, "and it'll be Garrus' fault."

Flaring his mandibles, he held his hands out, pleading. "Shepard … no … she'll kill me."

"As you wish, Shepard." EDI paused a moment. "Is there anyone else on the Normandy you would like for me to torture for you? I can sound the alarms. Empty a room of oxygen. Perhaps drop the drive core shielding in engineering?"

_"_ _God damn, I forgot how scary she can be."_ Jane's voice filled with a strange mix of something akin to horror and awe.

"She's wonderful, isn't she?" Shepard thought, smirking.

She tipped her head to the side and hummed in mock contemplation. "No, I don't think so. Thanks, EDI." Shepard pressed up on her tip toes to kiss Garrus' jaw. "You don't come between a woman and her coffee; especially when one of her best friends is an AI who doesn't need to sleep and has a fantastically morbid sense of humor."

Garrus growled, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her off of her feet. "You're evil." He pressed his forehead against hers.

"Mhmm." She grinned, nodding her head against his.

His subvocals purred. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She kissed his nose, earning her a chuff of amusement.

He put her back down, draping an arm over her shoulder, turning her toward the elevators. "Hope you saved something for the Illusive Man."

"I'm sure if I lag, you can pick up my slack." She reached back, taking Thane's hand again.

They took the elevator up to the CIC, stopping long enough to ask Kelly to place the call to the Illusive Man before heading into the comm room. The table dropped down into the floor, and Shepard stepped into the QEC, Thane and Garrus at her sides. The grid rose up around them, showing her the Illusive Man sitting in his chair, glass tumbler and cigarette in hand.

"Shepard. I'm glad you found time in your busy schedule to call me back." He took a drag of his cigarette. "And you've brought your boyfriends with you. Any particular reason why?"

"I can't fit the entire crew in the QEC and these two are my favorites." Shepard lifted a shoulder. "I tell them everything you say anyway, figured it would save me some time. What can I do for you?"

He took a drink from his glass, swirling the ice around in the amber liquid. Shepard tucked her hands behind her back, waiting. He took a drag of his cigarette, glowing blue eyes trained on her but he didn't speak. Shepard blinked once, relaxing into her parade rest stance. Garrus shifted beside her, a soft rumble reaching her ears. Thane stood perfectly still in utter silence, undoubtedly taking in every detail he could make out in the low light. The Illusive man took another drag of his cigarette, tapping off the ashes in the ash tray before rolling the burning ember along the edge.

_"_ _So … we're going to kill him and replace him with Miranda?"_ Jane studied the Illusive Man through Shepard's eyes as the silence stretched on.

"That's the plan," Shepard thought.

_"_ _When?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know yet. Soon," Shepard thought, mulling the idea over. "We need to plan it out carefully. Make sure Miranda's ready. And we can't move until we're certain we don't need her on the Normandy anymore."

_"_ _She left Cerberus and the Normandy after the collector base, when I dismissed everyone before turning myself over to the Alliance."_

"You think we should wait until after the collector base?" Shepard thought.

Jane fell silent a moment and Shepard could feel her thinking. _"No. I think he'd be the most likely to anticipate something then. We need to catch him off guard, or he'll run."_

"Mmm. You're probably right." Shepard took a slow, deep breath as she talked with Jane. "I'm tired of standing here, are you tired of standing here?"

_"_ _Yep."_

"Great talk." Shepard said to the Illusive Man, turning her back on him, putting one foot out of the QEC.

"Shepard," he said, calling her back.

She glanced over her shoulder. "Oh, are you done with your bullshit power plays? Because if you want to continue to sit there mentally jacking off for a while, I can come back later." She turned back, retaking her position in the QEC, waving a hand behind her. "I can even have EDI flood your servers with porn if you want."

"That won't be necessary, Shepard." He took another drag from his cigarette, stubbing it out in the ashtray. "I've been informed that you were recently in Sigurd's Cradle."

"I'm sorry, is there a question in there somewhere?" She raised an eyebrow.

The Illusive Man sighed, taking a drink from his tumbler before standing. Crossing the room to stand in front of the QEC—close enough she could gouge his cybernetically enhanced eyes out with her thumbs if only he were really there—his lips tugged up in a condescending smile. "I'd like to hear what you were doing in Sigurd's Cradle, and if you can find the time, perhaps you'd care to tell me about the reapers that were witnessed leaving twenty-one eighty-one Despoina."

"Well," she said, tucking her hands back behind her back, "obviously I was plotting to take over the galaxy with the reapers."

Jane groaned. _"And you said EDI has a morbid sense of humor."_

He pinched the bridge of his nose, and she smirked. Dropping his hand he looked back up at her. "Is this a joke to you, Shepard? I expected more from humanity's greatest legend. Human colonies are being attacked as we speak." He paced back and forth in front of her, waving his hands in obvious agitation. "Our people are being taken, Shepard. Like it or not, we need to work together on this. I've consistently provided you with intelligence and resources, but you've fought me every step of the way. If we're going to be successful here, Shepard, you need to meet me in the middle."

_"_ _Can we just kill him now?"_

Shepard sighed. "They weren't reapers."

He stopped pacing, turning to look at her from the shadows. "The descriptions were pretty unmistakable."

"They're an ancient race that inadvertently created the reapers then hid from them when the reapers started slaughtering their people." She lifted her shoulder. "Tried to get them to help in the war. They declined."

The Illusive Man held her gaze as he lifted his drink to his mouth. Swallowing, he stared at her in silence for a minute before turning on his heel and returning to his chair. He lit another cigarette and watched Shepard for a moment. "Declined?"

She fought back the urge to cringe, thinking of the excruciating pain the leviathans inflicted on her. "Rather adamantly. Then they left. My guess is they're on their way to a new hiding place."

He swirled the ice around in his glass, crossing one leg over the other. "What do we know of this race?"

"We know that they're even bigger assholes than you are." Shepard deadpanned. "They communicate telepathically, and can use a form of contact similar to an asari's meld. Oh, and they can enthrall people." She crossed her arms over her chest, dropping her weight to one hip. "Why? Think you want to try to capture them? Lock them up in a cage and perform torturous experiments on them?" She arched her eyebrows in challenge. "Or do you save that especially for humans and other well-known sentient species?"

He sighed heavily, taking a swallow from his glass. "I do what needs to be done to assure humanity's place in galactic society, Shepard."

She scoffed, shaking her head. "The ends justify the means? We're still going with that?"

"You don't have to approve of my methods, Shepard. Your opinion means far less to me than you seem to think it does." He took a drag of his cigarette, setting his glass down on the arm of his chair. "The simple fact is that if not for my methods, you wouldn't be here now." Standing again, he took slow strides toward her, stuffing his free hand into his trouser pocket. "In fact … if not for my methods, you never would've made it off of Akuze."

Shepard's blood ran cold in her veins, her jaw clenching, muscles going rigid.

_"_ _What?"_ Confusion washed over Jane, slipping through the cracks to tickle at the back of Shepard's mind. _"What's he talking about? He's never said anything about … we never found anything to indicate … what the hell is he talking about?"_

"Did you really think your skills saved you? Did you think you survived by luck?" He took a drag of his cigarette, blowing smoke toward her face only for it to swirl around the holographic grid surrounding her, making the blue light scatter and dance on his end. "Haven't you ever heard of an experimental control?" He smiled at her, cold and vicious.

Shepard felt white hot rage wash over her, sweeping through her with the force of every Shepard inside of her who ever lived through the horrors of Akuze. She trembled with the strength of will it took not to lunge forward, not to be taken in by the illusion the QEC presented her with, telling her that the Illusive Man stood inches away from her—easily within striking distance. Some distant part of her knew that if Jane wanted to, she could easily seize control just then. Memories rose up unbidden, both her own and a few of the others, reminding her of just what it felt like to run for her life, her team falling in groups behind her as thresher maws burst out of the ground, screeching and spitting acid … devouring any man or woman unlucky enough to be within the maws' reach.

He smirked, turning his back on her, making his way back to flick his ashes. "Tell me, Shepard. Would you say that surviving Akuze helped to push you to be the solider you are today? Helped to make you the best humanity has to offer?"

_"_ _Tell him something for me."_ Jane seethed, her words coming out in a hiss. _"Tell him killing him has been one of my fondest memories. And I_ can't wait _to watch you put a bullet in him."_

Shepard sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slow, a crazed smile creeping across her face as she thought about watching the Illusive Man bleed out. "Jane would like you to know that killing you is her fondest memory. I'm sure it'll be mine, too." Shepard spun on her heel, stepping out of the QEC, Garrus and Thane right behind her. "Close the call, EDI."


	43. Chapter 42: Treason

**Chapter 42: Treason**

The airlock opened and Shepard drew up short. "Anderson … we were just coming to see you."

Anderson smiled but it didn't reach his eyes as he clasped his hands behind his back. "Well, I thought it might be nice to get out of the office for a little while. Stretch my legs. I hope you don't mind?"

She fought the urge to frown and start asking questions. She knew the look on his face all too well; the look that said he came with bad news. "Yeah, sure. Of course." Turning, she nearly bumped into Garrus as she swept her hand out toward the ship's interior.

Garrus and Thane parted, stepping aside to clear the way for Anderson. He nodded his head at the three of them as he stepped aboard. Shepard followed him, the airlock sliding closed again behind her.

Anderson glanced around, nodding at Joker when the pilot turned his seat around to wave. After a moment, Anderson let out a heavy sigh and met Shepard's gaze. "We need to talk, and I could use a drink."

Shepard pursed her lips. "My cabin or the ship's lounge?" She meant, 'How much privacy do we need? How much trouble are we talking about here?'

Anderson winced, just a faint tick at the corner of his eyes. "Let's go to your cabin, those couches looked comfortable." He glanced between Garrus and Thane. "How about it? You two want to join us for a drink?"

 _"_ _OK, so we know he's not here to talk Alliance secrets …."_ Jane said. _"Do you think he's here to talk about me?"_

"I don't know. Maybe. Or maybe the leviathans." Shepard mentally shrugged her shoulders. "Hell, it could be anything."

Thane bowed his head to Anderson.

Garrus nodded once. "Sure."

Shepard led the way to her cabin, the trip on the elevator filled with tense silence. Garrus coughed into his fist, his mandibles flaring when the cabin door opened. She realized, with an inward groan, the scent of her and Thane's time together must still linger, and she'd left the cabin without making her bed.

Shepard hurried in, stopping at the top of the stairs to block Anderson's view of her unkempt bed. It didn't matter if the Normandy was her ship, and neither of them were officially on Alliance duty; she didn't like the idea of Anderson seeing her bed not meeting standards. "Why don't you say hello to Spike while I tidy up downstairs?"

Anderson raised an eyebrow. "Spike?"

Thane held his hand out toward the tank, and Anderson turned to look. Garrus smirked at her, his mandibles fluttering lightly as he turned to talk to Anderson about the snake.

Shepard smiled at Thane before slipping down the stairs. "EDI," she said, keeping her voice low, "can you freshen up the air in here a bit?"

"Right away, Shepard," said EDI.

Shepard heard the quiet hum as EDI sped up the circulation of the air in the cabin. She straightened out the pillows, pulling the sheet and blanket into place and tucking it in around the edges. Making her way over to the couch, she flipped the cushions as an extra precaution before going back to her liquor cabinet to pour them drinks.

 _"_ _Garrus will just take it from you, too. Alcohol is worse than coffee for you right now,"_ Jane said when Shepard started to pour one for herself.

She sighed, opting to have water with Thane instead. "I let him get away with far too much."

_"_ _We always do."_

Setting the drinks down on the coffee table, she made her way back up the stairs. Anderson glanced her way, handing Spike back over to Garrus. Shepard smiled, nodding toward the couches while Garrus put the snake back in the terrarium. They followed her back down the stairs, and she steered Anderson to the glass she poured for him, gesturing for him to sit down. She took the corner seat next to Anderson and sipped at her water, watching him with wary eyes. Garrus and Thane sat down with Garrus right beside her. Their gazes shifted between her and Anderson, but neither spoke.

Picking up his glass, Anderson sighed and took a heavy swallow. "You caused quite the panic with the Council, Shepard." He turned his glass back and forth in his fingertips. "There's … talk. Tevos thinks you crossed a line by approaching these … what'd you call them?"

"Leviathans. It's not their actual name, just what the researchers—talk of what, Anderson?" Shepard licked her lips, pushing herself to the edge of her seat.

Anderson sighed, taking another heavy swallow from his glass, leaving it empty. "Treason."

Shepard blinked, her heart slamming against her sternum. "Treason?"

 _"_ _Treason?"_ Jane all but screeched, her shock mirroring Shepard's.

Garrus sat forward, setting his drink down on the table, a low growl rumbling in his chest. "She hasn't done anything to warrant a charge of treason."

Thane stood without a word, moving to the liquor cabinet to retrieve two more glasses and the bottle of rum. Returning, he sat a glass down on the table in front of Shepard and filled it before pouring a little for himself. He gestured to Anderson's glass, and when the councilor nodded, Thane refilled his drink as well.

"Anderson?" Shepard licked her lips, feeling her fingers start to tremble as she struggled to wrap her head around what she might've possibly done wrong enough to be charged with treason.

"It's being decided whether you acted within protocol for first contact with another species." Anderson shook his head, taking a sip from his glass. "It's a damn witch hunt, Shepard. They're afraid these leviathans are going to attack, try to dominate the rest of us. And if that happens, they need someone to blame, as always."

Shepard bit back a bark of manic laughter, fighting against the pressure building in her head. "So, I guess I'm going to end up in prison either way." She picked up the glass in front of her and took a swallow, wincing at the way it rattled against the coffee table when she sat it back down. "I thought I had it covered this time, but instead of the Alliance coming after me to appease the batarians, the Council wants me behind bars to cover their own asses." She sucked in a deep breath, meeting his gaze. "Are you here to arrest me, Anderson?"

 _"_ _No, of course not. Anderson wouldn't … are you alright?"_ Jane's voice barely made it through over the growing buzz in Shepard's head.

She closed her eyes against the flood of memories sweeping over her. Pinching the bridge of her nose, the buzzing grew louder as she felt herself being put in handcuffs. Her heart thudded against her ribs as she remembered standing before the judge, waiting to hear her sentence, Anderson and Hackett at her sides. She opened her eyes, turning her attention back to Anderson when he grunted.

_"_ _Dawn?"_

"Don't be ridiculous, Shepard. I'm here to tell you to leave the Citadel before they make up their damn minds." He shook his head, taking another swallow from his glass before sighing. "I'm putting up as much of a fight as I can. Valern and Quentius aren't quite sold on the idea, but they will be soon. I can tell. Almost makes me miss Sparatus. He's a stubborn old fool, but at least he's not so easily convinced to change his mind."

She took a deep breath, fighting to steady herself. "They're going to know you warned me off." She held his gaze, giving him a slow shake of her head. "Anderson, they'll charge you. I can't let that happen."

She'd let herself be taken in first. When the reapers came, they'd be more than ready to open her prison cell and beg her for help. It wouldn't be all that different than before. She knew enough now she'd tell Garrus what they needed to do to stop the collectors. She trusted him, he was a good leader, and he'd handle everything without her.

 _"_ _What if they don't let us out, though? What happens if someone else makes it to the Crucible? What if_ no one else _makes it to the Crucible?"_ Jane felt far more calm and rational than Shepard at the moment. _"You need to think about this, Dawn."_

"Damn it, Shepard! This is bigger than you or me." Anderson drained his glass again, carefully placing the empty cup down on the table. "Don't worry about me. Just get out of here. With any luck, this whole thing will blow over, but if it doesn't, we need you out there taking care of things and not locked up on the Citadel."

"Anderson …." She didn't know what to say.

"Now, Shepard. That's an order." Anderson stood, looking down at her. "You're the only one who really knows what we're facing and how to deal with it all."

Shepard stood, her shoulders heavy with the weight of Anderson's words, her chest tight as her heart raced inside of her. She saluted him, because there was nothing else she _could_ do; nothing else she _would_ do once he uttered those words. Anderson nodded his head, returning her salute before turning and walking up the stairs, leaving her cabin.

"EDI?" Her name came out like a croak, barely above a whisper. She licked her lips and tried again. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

She sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slow. "Call the crew back. We're leaving the Citadel."

"Right away, Shepard." EDI's voice held a note of gravity fitting to the situation.

What would happen now? How long before the Council ordered Anderson's arrest? Would they keep him on the Citadel, or would the Alliance demand he serve his sentence with them? What if they didn't even give him a specific sentence, but just locked him up and threw away the key?

 _"_ _Dawn, hey, calm down."_ Soothing waves passed from Jane to Shepard, but it wasn't enough.

She collapsed back down to the couch, pressing the heel of her hand against her temple. Her head started to hurt, feeling full with the pressure inside of her skull, making her thoughts feel disjointed and somehow foreign.

_"_ _Anderson will be alright. They may not even arrest him, but if they do, they'll treat him fairly enough."_

She couldn't breathe. Why couldn't she breathe? She tugged at the collar of her shirt and shook her head.

_"_ _You're panicking, hyperventilating. You need to relax. Come on now, aren't you the one who's supposed to be holding me together?"_

"Shepard?" Garrus' voice cut through the din in her head, only to be swallowed up and lost to the rising tide.

She looked up, her gaze darting around the room, sliding over Garrus and past Thane. Nothing seemed real. Not them, not her bed, not the table in front of her.

"Siha?" Thane moved into her field of vision, pushing the coffee table back to crouch down in front of her.

"EDI, what's happening?" Garrus asked, his voice sounding strained and distant. "Is it Jane?"

_"_ _What? No! This isn't me. I'm not doing anything. I'm just trying to help her!"_

"Shepard's biometric scans do not correspond to scans taken during previous attempts by Jane to assert control," EDI said. "I believe she is experiencing symptoms of an anxiety attack, and I have notified Dr. Chakwas. She is on her way now."

Thane lifted his hands to her cheeks, gently tugging her until she turned her head and found his gaze. "Breathe with me, siha." He took in a slow, deep breath and let it out again just as slowly.

_"_ _Listen to him. Just breathe."_

Their words weren't making sense. Why were they talking about breathing? Anderson was going to be arrested. She couldn't let it happen. Earth needed him to lead the push against the reapers when they came. Oh gods, if they kept him on the Citadel, what would happen to him when the reapers moved the Citadel? Every time they got to the Citadel, everyone left in the station were already dead.

No! She'd save Anderson this time; The Illusive Man wouldn't be there to shoot him in the end if they did have to use the Crucible. But if he stayed on the Citadel … No! No! No! She tore her gaze away from Thane, seeking out Garrus. He'd do something, anything to make sure this wouldn't happen.

 _"_ _Shit. OK, what did Thane say before? Acknowledge it and let it go. It doesn't control you."_ Jane stirred in the back of Shepard's mind, her voice louder than anything else. _"Listen to his breathing. Breathe like him, you know it helps."_

Garrus frowned, his mandibles drooping, and he put a reassuring hand on her back. Thane urged her gaze back to him, still breathing in and out at a slow, measured pace. She nodded her head in his hands and tried to focus on his breathing.

_"_ _Acknowledge and let go."_

"OK," Dawn croaked through her staggered breathing.

Thane's lips twitched at the corners but he kept his breathing steady. Shepard didn't hear her enter, but a moment later Dr. Chakwas appeared next to Thane. She kept her gaze locked on his, her breathing finally starting to slow, even if it remained a far cry from the practiced rise and falls he'd worked so hard to teach her.

The doctor opened her omni-tool, using it to scan Shepard before looking at the screen. Dr. Chakwas patted Thane on the shoulder, saying something to him Shepard didn't quite make out. Garrus stood with the doctor, moving off to the side where the two of them talked privately. She saw them in her peripheral, glancing over at her as they spoke.

_"_ _Don't worry about them. Just focus on Thane and your breathing."_

Her breathing came slower and slower. After a few moments, she leaned forward, pressing her forehead against Thane's, using the contact to further center herself. He brushed his thumbs across her cheeks, and she closed her eyes, letting the sound of their now synchronized breathing fill her completely. All thoughts fled her, and he held her there, in that space of nothingness and timelessness, until slowly, the sounds of those around her began trickling back in.

She opened her eyes, searching out his gaze before pressing her lips to his and whispering, "Thank you."

"And thank you, too, Jane," Shepard thought.

"Of course, siha." He brushed his thumbs across her cheek once more before letting his fingers slip away from her face to take her hands instead.

 _"_ _Yeah. Glad I could help,"_ Jane said, relief heavy in her voice.

Shepard squeezed Thane's fingers, offering him a wane smile. "I'm fine." She pushed up from the couch, and he rose to his feet with her, still holding her hands. She turned her attention to Garrus and Dr. Chakwas before repeating, "I'm fine."

Garrus took a step toward her, his mandibles drooping. "Shepard, I don't—."

"Garrus, I'm fine." She pulled her hands from Thane's, and used them to push her hair out of her face. "EDI, I want everyone in the comm room once they're all back onboard. Tell Joker to prepare to take off, I want us out of here the second the last of the crew returns." Her gaze flicked between Garrus, Dr. Chakwas, and Thane. "The word 'treason' doesn't leave this room until the Council makes the call. Until then, we carry on as planned. Am I clear?"

 _"_ _You think that's the best idea?"_ Jane stirred with the restless feeling Shepard learned to associate with Jane not being too happy about something.

"For now at least. I'm barely holding on to things, I can't afford anymore doubt from the crew. Anderson might be right, it might just blow over," Shepard thought, squaring her shoulders.

"Yes, Commander." Dr. Chakwas nodded her head.

Garrus pulled his mandibles in tight against his face and gave her one short, curt nod of acceptance. She turned her gaze to Thane who bowed his head to her.

"As you wish, Shepard." EDI's voice rolled through the comms.

"Where are we going?" Garrus moved a little closer.

She edged past him, heading for her cabin door. She glanced over her shoulder, meeting Garrus' severe gaze as they all followed her to the elevator. "We need to get everything in place. We've got to take care of Cerberus, the Shadow Broker …" She sighed, rubbing a hand across her forehead as she hit the elevator call button. "… things with the Admiralty board, and Legion's going to need help to stop the heretic virus. We've got to get the reaper IFF."

She pinched the bridge of her nose, stepping on the elevator and turning to put her back against the wall. "The Admiralty Board. The sooner we get the quarians and geth cooperating, the easier things will be … and I need to get this over with before the Council declares me wanted for treason and brands me a rogue Spectre. Once word gets out …."

"What exactly did Anderson say if I might ask?" Dr. Chakwas studied Shepard with a drawn brow.

Shepard gave a light shake of her head, still having trouble coming to terms with it herself. "Basically the Council is afraid the leviathans are going to start attacking, and they're debating on whether or not my actions fell within protocol for first contact with a new species."

Jane snorted. _"Which is bullshit. Especially since they didn't give us anything on how to deal with a first contact situation."_

"As Jane just said, it's bullshit, they never even discussed protocol with me for a first contact situation." Shepard raked her hands through her hair.

"They're looking for someone to blame, and as usual, their pointing their fingers at Shepard." Garrus chuffed, pushing the button for the CIC and the elevator door slid closed, carrying the four of them down.

"I take it this didn't happen with you, Jane?" Dr. Chakwas studied Shepard, her features taking on less of the look of clinical appraisal and more of the concerned friend the longer they talked.

_"_ _No, we never dealt with the leviathans until the reapers were already in the system. The leviathans never refused aid in the war, even if they did make it difficult."_

Shepard relayed Jane's statement before adding, "I don't think there's any way I could've handled this, even if I followed protocol to the 'T', that wouldn't end up with the Council throwing me under the bus once they realized how dangerous the leviathans are. The only thing that saved me before was the leviathans agreeing to help, but they didn't this time, so now the Council wants to charge me with treason."

"But there hasn't been an actual decision made?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Not yet. Anderson came to warn me off before they'd made up their minds one way or the other." Shepard took a deep breath, letting it out slow. "And there's a good chance he's going to be arrested because of it … even if they _don't_ decide I'm guilty of treason."

"Dear God …." Dr. Chakwas raised a hand to Shepard's arm. "I'm sorry, Commander. I know how difficult this must be for you."

Shepard fought back the urge to snort. "Yeah, well, I'm not going to let his sacrifice be in vain. We've got a lot of ground left to cover, and I need to make sure all of you have what you need to handle things in my absence if it comes to it."

Silence descended, spreading through the small space, settling on her shoulders with all the weight of the galaxy.

Garrus cleared his throat. "Have you given further thought to Grundan Krul replacing the Shadow Broker?" He turned to face her, his arms crossed over his chest.

Her brow furrowed and she shook her head. "With everything else … I'd forgotten. You really think he's up for the job?"

Garrus nodded his head. "I do. I think he's the best option we have, Shepard." He reached out, running a hand along her arm. "I know you don't know him well, and he can never replace Liara … but he can do this." He hummed, moving a little closer to her. "And I think he'd be honored to have the chance to prove himself and help in the war."

Shepard pursed her lips and nodded. "Have you talked to him about it yet?" She felt Jane stir, but the other woman remained silent.

"No. I didn't think I should until you'd made up your mind." Garrus rubbed his hand up and down her arm again.

"Alright. We'll talk to him about it tonight, after we're out of here and I've had the chance to fill in the team about the leviathan mess." Shepard let out a heavy sigh as the elevator opened, stepping out in the CIC, leaving Dr. Chakwas behind.

The crew already started filtering in, disappointment dragging at their faces. She'd promised them a few more hours of shore leave, and now she couldn't even tell them why she made them come back aboard early. Sure, she _could_ tell them the Council was considering arresting her for treason, and she _could_ tell them Anderson gave her orders to hightail it out of there before they made up their minds … but she didn't think piling on maybes and what-ifs would do any of them any good right now. She needed them all focused, not finding new reasons to worry about her.

Mordin waved her over when she entered the tech labs. Shepard nodded Garrus and Thane on toward the comm room and crossed the floor to lean against Mordin's table. The salarian opened his omni-tool and scanned her. She frowned, but kept quiet, figuring the sooner she let him get whatever data he needed, the sooner she'd get on with her evening.

"Reviewed EDI and Legion's report." Mordin looked at the data readout on his omni-tool's screen. "Interesting concepts, show possibility. No way to prove." He shook his head, scanning her again before looking at his screen again. "Cortisol levels high. Adrenaline. Norepinephrine."

She cut him off before he got very far down that track. "I'm alright, just got out of a stressful meeting with the councilor on the heels of a very stressful meeting with the Illusive Man." Shepard shifted her weight, leaning forward a little more until he met her gaze again. "You think EDI and Legion might be right?"

Mordin blinked at her. "Theory is sound. Would take many years, dedicated research … with asari lifespan, perhaps. Still, irrelevant without data from triggering event. Many multiverse theories, none considered scientific fact. Suppositions made in report reflective of several theories. Have diagrams, can explain—." Mordin trailed off when the door to the tech lab opened, letting in a giggling Kasumi hanging from the arm of a laughing James.

Shepard smiled, happy for the interruption. Mordin could talk for days on the topic and she wouldn't be any closer to understanding. She got what she needed: a potential answer to how. How didn't do her much good without a 'how to stop', though, and she knew Mordin didn't have the answer. "Maybe later, Mordin. I need to do the debriefing. You're going to want to be in there when I start. You'll get to hear all about how the leviathans fucked me over."

Mordin beamed at her, taking the change of subject in stride as he walked with her to the comm room. "Ah, yes. Very excited to hear about the experience. Also interested in learning Council's reaction. Assume you told Council in meeting?"

"As much as I could without discussing Jane." Shepard lifted a shoulder.

They stepped into the comm room, and Shepard took a quick glance around. They were still missing Tali, Kal, Jack, and Grunt. The crowd parted, clearing her usual space, and she made her way to the table, resting her palms on the surface.

"EDI, when Tali and Kal arrive, please ask them to make sure Joker has the current coordinates for the Migrant Fleet." She glanced at Lia and Legion, standing side by side, as always. "We'll head to their location when we leave the Citadel."

EDI's hologram popped up in the middle of the table. "Tali and Kal are approaching the Normandy now, Shepard. I have relayed your request. Jack and Grunt are also on their way and should be arriving shortly."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard nodded absently at the hologram.

"You're welcome, Shepard." The hologram collapsed in on itself, leaving the space empty once more.

A few minutes later Shepard felt the Normandy pulling away from the Citadel. She let out a heavy sigh, and steeled herself for whatever might come. The others entered the comm room, moving to fill in whatever empty spaces were available. All eyes turned to Shepard, watching her expectantly.

"Sorry to cut your shore leave short." She held her hand up to quite the soft grumbles and smiled. "It's what you get for agreeing to work with a Spectre." That earned her a couple of chuckles at least. "We're on our way to the Migrant Fleet to discuss some matters of a sensitive nature, as they pertain to the quarians and the geth, with the Admiralty Board. It shouldn't take too terribly long."

"We're nearing the final push for the collector base. There are still some things we need to take care of before then, and I hoped to have more time … but I don't think that's going to be the case." She took a deep breath, splaying her palms out on the table.

Anderson's words echoed in the back of her head. Unwanted memories swirled with a whole new list of concerns tugged at her mind, derailing her thoughts. Hanging her head, she squeezed her eyes closed, taking deep, steadying breaths. She heard murmurs rising, the sounds of her crew shifting with unease.

 _"_ _Just tell them. They deserve that much from us,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard?" Garrus put a hand on her shoulder, a light, tentative touch.

She shook her head. "I can't do this."

Garrus moved a little closer, ducking his head down closer to hers. "Do what?"

She looked up, her gaze roaming over her crew. The men and women … and AI's who'd entrusted her with their lives, and the lives of the entire galaxy. She couldn't keep telling herself the only thing that really mattered was finding a way to defeat the reapers permanently and end her own cycle. She'd be risking their lives to save her own. Before, facing a few months on house arrest with the Alliance wasn't too big of a deal, and she'd managed to work around it so far. But had she been charged for the Bahak system, the others would've all gone their separate ways. They'd go on to live their lives, growing as people, some of them finding redemption through their own good deeds.

Being charged with treason by the Council would be different … and they wouldn't just come after her. Each and every person on the Normandy stood the risk of being held accountable if they declared her rogue. How could she not warn them? How could she not give them the chance to back out?

"I wasn't going to tell you this yet," she said, the words coming out slow and disjointed, "but I can't justify risking any of you getting in trouble without even knowing what you're going into."

"Commander, what are you talking about?" Miranda pushed against the table, leaning toward Shepard.

She licked her lips, letting her gaze continue to roam, unable to meet and hold anyone's gaze. "Councilor Anderson just came here to warn me the Council is considering charging me with treason."

Their responses came immediately; everything she might've expected. A flurry of hissed questions flew her way, surprised gasps, grunts and grumbles, filling her head with an explosion of noise—sources coming from both outside and within. Garrus shifted beside her, and her head jerked to the side, her gaze latching on to him.

"Everyone, that's enough!" Miranda's voice cut through the din. "Commander? Treason for what?"

She held Garrus' gaze as she spoke, using him as her life raft in the storm. "I don't think they're entirely sure just yet. News of the leviathan's response on Despoina upset them. They're worried the leviathans will seize this opportunity to attack the galaxy." She licked her lips, dragging her gaze away from Garrus and looked back at Miranda. "Personally, I think it's highly unlikely. The leviathans have spent all this time hiding from the reapers, doing everything in their power to keep from being found. Starting a war with the galaxy when they know the reapers have already begun this cycle's harvest would do nothing but draw the reapers' attention."

"But, I can't easily explain my certainty to the Council … I can't tell them about Jane," she said, stopping to swallow and lick her lips, "and the others. So all they really know is I made contact with an ancient race, once powerful enough to force every other species in the galaxy to pay homage to them, and who are responsible for creating the reapers. I asked this race to join us in the fight against the reapers, and they forcefully declined, fleeing the planet instead."

She rubbed her forehead. "It's possible … I guess, the leviathans might have decided to go to another inhabited planet, enthrall the people who live there, and use them to help hide their presence."

"This is why you called us back?" Grunt shifted, crossing his meaty arms over his chest. "Because the Council is pissing themselves over the idea of greater enemies to fight?"

"She called us back because she's running instead of sticking around to be arrested." Jack smirked. "Smartest fucking thing she can do."

Jane snorted with amusement.

Shepard winced. "Anderson came to warn me of the Council's discussions. He risked himself so we have the chance to get away from the Citadel before they make up their mind and come for me."

James sucked in a noisy breath, letting it out with a whistle. "They're going to arrest Anderson for this, aren't they?"

Shepard turned her head to look at him and nodded. "Most likely."

"Damn." He shook his head. "Damn, Ídolo. What do you need from us?"

Shepard smiled, a wry thing tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I need all of you to decide whether or not you want to stick around for this. If the Council charges me with treason, and I don't come in to answer those charges, I'll be branded as a rogue Spectre—no better than Saren." She glanced across the room, letting her gaze connect with each person present. "Chances are … they'll hold each of you in the same light if you stick around."

Jack let out a loud bark of laughter. "Who gives a fuck about the Council? We're on a fucking Cerberus ship, and the Council would gladly lock me away for life anyway."

"As much as I hate to say it, Jack's right, Shepard." Jacob crossed his arms over his chest.

Jack snorted. "Fuck you."

"I'm just saying, look around you." Jacob made a show of looking over their motely group. "Most of us in this room are already on the Council's wanted list. The only thing keeping us safe in Council space is the fact you're a Spectre and you've claimed us as your crew."

Shepard shook her head. "Maybe … but not all of you." She looked pointedly at Samara standing next to Jacob before letting her gaze drift to the quarians, Mordin, Grunt, James, Grundan Krul, and Zaeed before finally settling on Garrus.

Garrus chuffed, crossing his arms and shaking his head. "Don't bother. You know there's nothing you can say that's going to make me leave."

"Garrus …."

"No, Shepard."

"Well I'm not going anywhere, Shepard," Grunt said, drawing her attention back to him. "Krogan don't leave their battlemasters, especially not when things are just starting to get interesting."

Shepard snorted, smiling despite herself.

"I have sworn my oath to you, Shepard." Samara stepped forward, resting her fingertips on the table. "I am not bound to the Council's laws; I am bound only to my Code and my Oath. I see no justice in their charging you with treason. I find no dishonor in staying with you for this mission."

"Thank you, Samara." Shepard dipped her head to the Justicar.

"Well I don't give a good goddamn fuck about the Council." Zaeed shrugged. "So long as you keep payin' me, I don't have any reason to leave."

"Quarian's technically aren't bound by Council laws, well beyond what any outsider coming into Council Space is while inside Council Space." Tali glanced between Kal and Lia, getting a short nod from each of them before turning her attention back to Shepard. "We're governed by the Migrant Fleet." Tali shrugged. "Unless the Admiralty Board tells us to leave the Normandy, we have no intentions of leaving you, Shepard."

She sighed, studying Tali with narrowed eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, Shepard." Tali shifted. "Besides, if everything works out the way you expect it to, I think the Migrant Fleet will feel indebted to you enough to provide you with safe harbor if you asked for it."

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head and rubbing her brow, trying to imagine herself living aboard the Migrant Fleet or settling down on Rannoch. She let out a sigh and turned her attention to Grundan Krul.

He lifted his shoulder, tilting his head a little to meet it partway. "I'm batarian," he said, as if it should tell her all she needed to know.

She supposed it did. The Hegemony removed themselves from Council control long ago, and Grundan Krul never considered himself a part of the Hegemony, either. Besides, if Garrus was right, it'd soon be irrelevant, and Grundan Krul would be the galaxies next Shadow Broker. She nodded, offering him a smile of gratitude. The corners of his mouth twitched, and he returned the nod.

Mordin blinked at her when she turned her gaze to him; once, twice, three times, and when she didn't look away from him, he sniffed disdainfully. "Can't leave. Too much to do. Has to be me, someone else might get it wrong."

Shepard closed her eyes, shoving away the flood of memories brought on by the old, familiar phrase. Mordin _was not_ going to die this time. She'd already made sure of it. She sighed, opening her eyes and turning to James. "Vega?"

James scratched at a scar beneath his left eye. "I mean … they haven't even charged you with anything yet."

She pressed her lips together into a thin line. "I think the chances of them doing so are high."

"But I'm not with you under Council orders. I'm with you under the Alliance's orders. I'm just a marine, a grunt. I follow orders, do what I'm told … so until the Alliance changes those orders …."

An odd sense of relief and disappointment washed over her. She didn't really _want_ for James to disobey any orders from the Alliance, if they told him to leave, she'd be ready to kick his ass out of the airlock … but some part of her kind of wanted him to be willing to, to risk it all to stay with the Normandy until the bitter end.

Shepard swallowed and nodded her head. "Alright. You're all probably crazy, but alright."

It broke the tension, earning her a round of laughter and reassuring smiles. She risked a glance at Garrus, who watched her, his gaze intense, his mandibles tight against his jaw. She knew he'd have an earful for her when they left the comm room, but she needed to give him the same out she did everyone else. He didn't know how great he really was, he didn't know how important he'd truly be to his people when the reapers hit. How important he'd be if the Council did manage to pull the rug out from under her feet.

She turned her attention back to the group. "So, leviathan debriefing. Sorry it's a little late."

She spent the next hour or so going over everything that happened with the leviathans—in far greater detail than she'd like, for Mordin's sake. Unsurprisingly, he had more questions than she could really answer, but she did her best; describing their appearance, their method of communications, their enthrallment, and the severe pain they'd caused her. He took notes and then asked her double check them to be certain he'd recorded everything right. Although the others showed initial interest, even asking a few questions of their own, she knew Mordin would keep her talking for hours still if she let him, and the others were getting restless.

Shepard finally laid a hand on the salarian's shoulder to silence him. "I think that's enough for now, Mordin. If you have more questions, send me a list, and I'll try to answer them. Grundan Krul, I need to speak to you for a moment. Everyone else, dismissed."

"Want me to stick around?" Garrus asked, pulling her into him and pressing his forehead against hers.

She thought about it for a second. "Nah, we seem to do alright talking when things are quiet around us." She didn't mention she also didn't want Grundan Krul to be influenced by Garrus' presence. She knew eventually the two would talk about it in private, but she wanted to make it clear this needed to be Grundan Krul's choice, because the responsibility and power she offered was far too heavy to take on for any other reason.

"Alright." He kissed her, just a quick press of his mouth against hers. "Come talk to me later?"

She nodded, kissing him again before pulling away from his embrace. The others had mostly already left the room, and soon it was quiet, leaving her alone with Grundan Krul. She glanced at the batarian before pushing herself up to sit on the table.

Shepard turned, pulling her feet up to cross them at the ankle, and looped her arms around her knees, barely leaving herself any space between her ass and the edges of the ringed surface. "Sit with me. It can hold both our weight."

The batarian moved over to the table, pulling himself up a few feet from her and waited in silence. It had to be one of the things she'd most come to enjoy about Grundan Krul; he seemed to be a bottomless fount of patience, content to let her say what she wanted to say in her own time.

She scraped her teeth over her bottom lip, trying to decide where to start. "You've heard us talk about Liara?"

He nodded, turning a little on the table to more easily look at her. "She was a part of your old crew. She died when the last ship was attacked."

Shepard nodded, ignoring the twinge of pain that came with the reminder. "That's never happened before." She paused putting her thoughts together. "Liara's never died during the collector attack. But I always do. Normally, she's the one to get my body back from the Shadow Broker's thugs and give me to Cerberus to bring me back to life."

She watched Grundan Krul for a moment, he didn't say anything, and she didn't expect him to. She took a deep breath and continued, "Liara would've replaced the Shadow Broker. Her efforts as the Shadow Broker to help in the war were absolutely invaluable, but perhaps more than anything, having someone we knew and trusted not to work against us in the war for profit's sake …."

His black eyes moved, his gaze searching her face. She saw he'd begun to puzzle it out, putting the pieces together and preparing himself for what she was about to say next. Shepard smiled.

"We need someone to take her place. Someone who is capable of managing the Shadow Broker's resources and agents. No one—well mostly no one—knows who the Shadow Broker really is, and he uses sophisticated equipment and networking to keep his identity secret." She waved a hand at him. "Garrus thinks you're up to the task." She felt Jane focused on the vigilante, watching him through her eyes, weighing out his reactions just as much as she was.

His jaw dropped a little, his eyelids fluttering over all four eyes. "Archangel wants _me_ to be the Shadow Broker?"

Shepard grinned, loving the reaction, no matter how subtle. "Does he make you still call him Archangel?"

Grundan Krul cracked a smile, chuckling lightly, the sound almost reminding her of a cat coughing. "No," he said, shaking his head, "it's just what I'm used to."

Jane sighed. _"I really hope he's the right choice. Nothing against the guy personally, but we don't really know him."_

"But we trust Garrus' judgement," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Fair enough,"_ Jane said.

Her smile softened. "This has to be your call, Grundan Krul. You've got a little time to think about it, and I'll tell you everything I can about what to expect and what I'd need from you. But in the end, I know it's a huge thing I'm asking … and I understand if it's more than you want to take on."

He looked down at his lap, his brow furrowing. "You're sure _you_ want me to do this?"

Jane stirred, remorse rolling off of her. _"Tell him I'm sorry, for what I said before. It was heartless, and unnecessary."_

"Jane wants me to tell you she's sorry for what she said to you before. She says it was heartless and unnecessary." Shepard bit the inside of her cheek, watching him.

He met her gaze, and gave her a slight shake of his head. "That's not what I mean."

Shepard swallowed, realizing he meant their past; everything he'd told her about Mindoir, who his father was …. "You're not responsible for what your father did, Grundan Krul." She dropped her legs from the table, standing up and facing him with crossed arms. "I don't judge people by the fucked up things their families do. You came to me with that information on your own, you didn't have to do it; most wouldn't have. That alone tells me a lot about what kind of man you are."

Lifting her shoulders, she smirked. "Trust me; I'm far more thrown by not having thousands of memories of you to sift through than I am what your father did. I guess I'm a little spoiled for the intel Jane provides. But you come with a damn good reference. If Garrus trusts you, so do I."

Grundan Krul held her gaze, his eyes searching her own. Finally, he nodded his head and slipped down from the table, extending his hand to Shepard. "I'll do it."


	44. Chapter 43: Two Birds, One Stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't already seen it, check out the awesome commission of Dawn Shepard created by BlastedKing on DeviantArt and gifted to me by squiggly_squid! It can be found on the first page of all parts of the story.

**Chapter 43: Two Birds, One Stone**

Shepard stretched, rolling over to find Thane's side of the bed empty, the sheets cold. Opening her eyes she glanced around the room, finding him sitting on the floor, eyes closed in meditation. She smiled, pushing herself up and out of the bed, grabbing her robe and slipping it on. He held his hand out to her, eyes still closed, inviting her to join him, so she did. Sitting on the floor in front of him, she shut her eyes and listened, finding his breathing pattern and matching it with her own.

They sat there, sharing their moment of silent contemplation for countless minutes until the door to her cabin slid open. She opened her eyes, glancing up the stairs to find Garrus step inside carrying a steaming mug. The rich scent of Grundan Krul's coffee hit her nose a moment later, ratcheting her smile up a notch.

Shepard leaned over, pressing a quick kiss to Thane's mouth. "Sorry, coffee trumps meditation."

He chuckled, rising to his feet with her. "You wound me."

She winked at him. Making her way up the stairs to greet Garrus, she took the coffee from his hand before rising up on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Good morning."

"Hmmm. Easy for you to say. You weren't woken up an hour early by a sadistic AI acting on the orders of an even more sadistic commander. I think you made your point when you told him you were going to make him the Shadow Broker." He wrapped a hand around her waist and leaned down, pressing his forehead to hers. "Good morning."

Shepard grinned, lifting the cup to her mouth, blowing away the steam before taking a sip and moaning. "I meant to tell her to forget the wakeup call, but I got distracted."

He chuffed. "If you're trying to shift the blame to Thane, it's not going to work."

"Oh no, I take full responsibility. The distraction was entirely my doing." She took another drink from her mug, fighting back the urge to go into detail of just how distracting her night was more for Thane's modesty than Garrus' sake.

Thane coughed; the quiet, delicate sound he made when embarrassed or—as she'd come to realize—to announce his presence when approaching from behind. Which it reason made him cough now, she wasn't sure, and glancing over her shoulder at him told her nothing of what he might be thinking. He made his way up the stairs, stopping at her side, resting a hand on the small of her back.

"Do you require my presence to speak with the Admiralty Board this morning, siha?" He leaned over to kiss her when she shook her head. "Then I shall return to the life support, the drier air will do me some good."

She winced but nodded her head. "EDI? Can you adjust the humidity level in the cabin when Thane's with me? Make it closer to the levels of life support?"

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.

"That is kind of you. Thank you, siha, and you EDI." He rubbed small circles on her back before dropping his hand, tucking both hands behind his back.

"You are quite welcome, Thane." EDI's hologram collapsed, folding in on itself before disappearing again.

He dipped his head to Garrus who returned the gesture before making his way to the door. Garrus turned to the side, watching the door close behind Thane before pulling out her desk chair, motioning for her to sit down. She pursed her lips, but sat down, sipping her coffee. His gaze roamed over her, his talons drumming a beat on the surface of her desk. She arched an eyebrow, watching him over the top of her mug. She could tell he had something he wanted to say, so she waited him out.

His mandibles fluttered, and he squatted down in front of her, resting his hands on her knees. "I received a message from an old friend back at C-Sec … Anderson's been arrested, though the charges have been classified on Council orders." He eased the cup from her hands, setting it down on the desk before closing his hands around her waist. "I'm sorry, Dawn."

Tears, hot and stinging like acid, filled her eyes. She took a shuddering breath, fighting back the panic she felt welling up inside, threatening to drag her back down into the abyss. Squeezing her eyes shut, she shook her head, trying to remember a time when she didn't feel like she hovered on the brink of a complete mental breakdown.

_"_ _I'm sorry …."_ Jane whispered in her mind. _"I'm so, so sorry."_

"Yeah … me, too," Shepard thought. She could feel the pain the news caused Jane just as much as she could her own; just as much as she could the echoes coming from—she supposed—those she'd absorbed. Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around his neck, hiding her face in the crook of her arm. She clung to him, using him as an anchor, keeping her afloat in the sea of grief threatening to sweep her away.

He held her, letting her cry for a few minutes before he pulled back, brushing her tears away with his thumb. "Come on. Come with me." He tugged at her, helping her to her feet before leading her to the bathroom. Starting the shower, he adjusted the knobs until the room started to fill with steam. "I'll be right back." He stepped out of the bathroom, leaving her by herself.

She took the moment alone to use the toilet and blow her nose before stripping off her robe and stepping into the shower, sucking in a breath as the nearly scalding water pelted her skin. A couple of minutes later, Garrus returned, having undressed. He got in the shower with her, wrapping his arms around her again. He hummed, the vibrations passing into her, low and soothing, warming her from the inside as the water warmed her from the outside.

When at last her shoulders stopped shaking with her sobs, Garrus let go of her, picking up her soap and a washcloth. He worked up a lather and then began washing her, first her arms, and then her chest and stomach. He cleaned her, front and back, being so gentle … he was so rarely gentle anymore, even in their most tender moments. She had only herself to blame, everything she put him through … how could she expect him to not come out the other side a little harder, a little colder than ever before? He worked so hard to hide it from her, and most days he succeeded, but she could still see it when she looked in his eyes.

Not this time, though. When she met his gaze as he rinsed out the washcloth, all she saw was love and a shared sorrow. Garrus draped the washcloth over the railing before pulling her back into his embrace, shifting them beneath the shower's spray until he shared it with her. She rubbed her face against the slick plating of his chest, finding she wanted desperately to be as close to him as humanly possible. He hummed, his fingers kneading at the tight muscles in the back of her neck.

She looked up, sliding her hands around his neck, pulling him down to her. She kissed him, letting her hands trail over his body, her fingers searching out the sensitive, bare hide where plates didn't form.

Pulling his mouth from hers, he chuffed, cupping her face. "And here I am trying to be a good, supportive boyfriend." Brushing his thumb over her jaw, his voice took on a more serious tone. "You're hurting, Dawn. I just want to be here for you, I didn't come in here to seduce you."

"I know." She pushed her forehead against his. "I know, and I love you so much for being here. I just … I need to be closer to you." She raked her teeth over her lip and whispered, "Make love to me, Garrus."

His mandibles flared and he hummed, nearly a growl, deep in his chest. Returning his mouth to hers, he edged her backwards until her back pressed against the wall. Hooking his hands beneath her ass, he lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist. He made love to her, there in the shower surrounded by steam and heat, with the same gentle touch he'd used to wash her.

She missed the soft moments with him so much. Not that she had anything to complain about with the sex they did have, but there were times when she missed the tenderness that once came so easy, so natural to him. Her heart swelled in her chest with his every thrust, making her feel as if nothing else in the entire galaxy mattered in those shared moments; not the reapers or the collectors, not the leviathans, nor the threat of being charged with treason. Not even the thought of Anderson, locked away in some cell because of her, could touch her with Garrus inside of her.

When they were finished, he dried her off, wrapping her in a towel before tending to himself. She watched him as he dressed, taking in the sharp angles of his body and wondering if he knew just how beautiful he really was. Pulling on her own clothes, she smiled, feeling lighter than she had in days, even if she knew it wouldn't last. She looked up when his arms slipped around her from behind. He nudged the side of her head with his and she smiled, reaching up to run her fingers over his mandible.

"I love you." He pulled her in against him a little tighter.

"I love you, too. More than I'll ever have the words to express." She turned in his arms to kiss him. "I'm sorry I've put you through so much hell, Garrus. Thank you for sticking with me through all of this."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." He flared his mandibles, taking a deep breath. "Now, are you ready to go try to convince the entire quarian race they need to make peace with their mortal enemies?"

She scoffed, chuckling. "No, but I'm going to anyway. Let's just hope it goes better than things did with the leviathans."

His mandibles fluttered, glaciers inching back in over his eyes, and she frowned, cursing herself. He kissed her again—even his mouth against hers feeling a little more distant—before letting her go to put on his armor. She sighed, heading up the stairs to drain her cold coffee before going into the bathroom to run the brush through her hair, already feeling the heaviness settling back in around her shoulders.

_"_ _He's just trying to protect himself a little,"_ Jane said.

"I know. I'm not holding it against him, but it still hurts," she whispered, setting the brush back down on the counter.

Shepard met Garrus at the door, and they took the elevator down together, standing next to each other in silence. After a quick trip to the mess to grab a protein bar and refill her coffee, they made their way to the comm room, asking EDI to call in the quarians and Legion. Lia and Legion were the first to arrive, inseparable as always, it seemed. The young quarian held the geth's arm as he led her through the door.

"Hey, you. You ready for your big moment?" Shepard flashed her—what she hoped was—a reassuring smile.

Lia's grip tightened on Legion, and she gave her head a little shake. "Honestly? I'm a little terrified. What if they don't listen? What if they arrest me instead?"

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest. "We're not going to let that happen."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Lia dropped Legion's arm and began wringing her hands. "Shepard, if the Admiralty Board wants to arrest me … I don't want to be the cause for bloodshed between you and my people."

Shepard drew her brow in, a frown tugging at her lips. She opened her mouth to speak, but only thought to herself instead, "Gods, what must she think of me and all of this?"

_"_ _Our hands aren't exactly clean of blood."_ Jane left Shepard with the impression of her shrugging. _"We're soldiers. Spectres. We make the tough calls, we always have. And it's resulted in a lot of bloodshed."_

"Not helping," Shepard thought.

_"_ _Sorry,"_ Jane said.

The door slid open, letting Tali and Kal inside, drawing Lia's attention away from Shepard. Garrus settled a hand down on Shepard's shoulder, squeezing gently before letting it fall away again. She cleared her throat and turned her smile on the two new additions.

"Good morning." She pressed her palms to the table, leaning forward. "We're not far from the Migrant Fleet. Joker's ready to hail them whenever we're ready. Before we do, though, I thought we should discuss a few things." She paused while they all nodded their agreement. "For starters, we need to decide exactly what we want to tell them. I also think it might be best if we can attempt to convince the Admiralty Board—or at least one of them—to come aboard the Normandy. If we can discuss the situation with them here before bringing Legion to the Migrant Fleet, it might help prevent some of the panic."

Kal shook his head. "I'm sorry, Commander. The Admiralty Board will never convene outside of the Flotilla. All meetings of the Admiralty Board are held in the open where all quarians can give their input. There are no secrets among the quarian people. There's also no way to have all of the admirals away from the Fleet at the same time. It goes against our laws."

Shepard nodded her head. "I figured it'd be a long shot. What are the chances of getting just one or two of them to come aboard?"

He lifted his shoulder. "There's nothing against it, if you can convince them. I think you'd have to give them a damn good reason. No offense, ma'am, but this is a Cerberus vessel."

"Well, maybe Auntie Raan. I think she might come if I ask." Tali glanced between Shepard and Kal.

_"_ _We should try for Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib, too."_ Jane laughed. _"If nothing else, we won't miss our chance to hear him defend the Qwib-Qwib, or talk about respectably named ships. Because there's nothing odd about being named Zaal'Koris vas Defrahnz or vas Iktomi."_

She ducked her head to hide her grin. "Shala'Raan would definitely be a good choice. I'd really like to try to get Zaal'Koris if we can. His views on the geth will make him the easiest to convince."

Tali scoffed, crossing her arms and cocking a hip. "Good luck with that, Shepard. Admiral Zaal'Koris hates me."

_"_ _Tell her it's not true,"_ Jane said. _"He doesn't hate her."_

"Jane says it's not true," Shepard said, shaking her head. "He doesn't trust your father because of his goals of using force to take back Rannoch, and some of his mistrust extends to you, but he doesn't hate you."

"Oh. Well, I guess that's good to know, but I still don't see it happening." Tali lifted her shoulders before letting them drop again, shaking her head.

"I … I might be able to convince the admiral to come aboard if you can get me in contact with him." Lia stepped up to the table, Legion moving at her side. "He was born on the Ulnay. I don't know if it will hold much weight with him, but even though a quarian changes ships after the Pilgrimage, we tend to keep ties to our birth ship as well, and I had hoped to join the Qwib-Qwib after my Pilgrimage."

"Excellent. Tali, is there a way for us to get in touch with him privately?" Shepard raised her eyebrows, hope and Jane's humor starting to lift her spirits again.

Tali and Kal shared a look before she met Shepard's gaze again, pulling her shoulders up and in. "I don't have his personal contact information. I suppose Auntie Raan would. Maybe if I talk to her first, I can convince her to put us in contact with Zaal'Koris."

"Sounds like our best shot." Shepard pushed away from the table, pacing the floor. "Assuming you're able to convince the admirals to come aboard, how do the three of you want to handle sharing the news?"

"I think we should start by talking with them without Legion," Tali said, glancing over at the geth. "Sorry, no offense Legion. I just think we should prepare them before we introduce you to them. With the history between the geth and the quarians …."

_"_ _No, she's right. If you're going to do this, it needs to be handled as delicately as possible. In my time, the decision came while they were staring down geth ships in the middle of a war, there wasn't time for delicacy, but there also wasn't time for mass hysteria."_

"We do not experience offense, Creator Zorah." Legion shifted next to Lia, turning his head to look at her.

"She's right. If we bring them in here and throw her in a room with Legion with no warning, they're not going to be calm enough to listen to reason." Garrus stepped up beside Shepard, resting his hand on her shoulder, stopping her pacing.

"Jane pretty much just said the same thing." Shepard rubbed her forehead. "So, we'll have Legion wait down in the AI core and bring the admirals to the comm room."

"I hate to ask this, Commander, but I would appreciate it if we don't tell the admirals Tali and I encountered Legion first." Kal lowered his head a fraction. "I'm afraid the way we responded to the situation was a breech in protocol." He turned to look at Tali.

Tali took his hand, stepping closer to him but directed her response to Shepard. "He wouldn't have ever broken protocol if it weren't for me."

Shepard's gaze slid to Legion. "Legion, can you refrain from mentioning your encounters with Tali and Kal on Alchera? If the quarians ask, can you just say I found you there?"

Legion's optic iris opened and closed, the metal plates surrounding it fluttering in simulated confusion. After a moment's pause he nodded his head. "Yes."

"Legion?" Lia rested her hand on his arm. "Are you sure?" She shifted her weight from foot to foot. "I didn't think lying was a part of your programming. I mean, withholding information, sure, but actually lying?"

EDI's hologram popped up in the middle of the table. "In the words of Carl Gustav Jung, 'The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.' Or, if you prefer, as John Steinbeck phrased the same concept, 'When two people meet, each one is changed by the other so you got two new people.'"

"You're saying all of the time Lia spent with Legion changed him as much as it has her?" Garrus asked, his mandibles fluttering.

"Precisely." EDI's hologram rotated to face Garrus. "The moment Legion left the Perseus Veil in search of Shepard it became inevitable the geth programs would be changed by their interactions with organics. Just as I have changed, and continue to grow."

"I … I taught Legion how to lie?" Lia turned, taking in the geth at her side.

Legion looked at her, turning to face her, mimicking her body language. "Yes."

_"_ _I never realized …. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not,"_ Jane said. _"When he goes back to a central hub, Lia will have effectively taught_ all _geth how to lie."_

Shepard let out a low whistle, drawing everyone's attention back to her. She cleared her throat and plastered a smile on her face, refusing to let any doubt show. "Well then. That's settled. Anything else we should consider?"

"Jane." Garrus held her gaze, mandibles still at the sides of his face.

_"_ _Yes? Is he talking to me?"_ Jane perked up.

"She's asking if you're talking to her." Shepard held her breath.

Garrus looked away from her and shook his head. "No, I meant we should probably make sure no one mentions Jane to the admirals."

_"_ _Oh."_ A heavy sadness passed from Jane to Shepard. _"Of course."_

"Right." Shepard let out her breath in a sigh. "Legion, don't mention I have multiple programs running in my platform, either, alright?"

"We understand, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

She nodded her head. "Good. Anything else?" She raised an eyebrow, letting her gaze roam over everyone in the room. When no one had anything else to say, she sucked in a deep breath and said, "OK then. We'll leave you three to contact the admirals. When you have confirmation, one of you will need to be in the cockpit to smooth approach to the Flotilla. It will also be best if you're there to greet the admirals when they enter the Normandy. Dismissed for now."

"I can go to the cockpit and hail the Migrant Fleet now, if you'd like, ma'am. I don't need to be a part of the calls," Kal said, leaving only once Shepard dipped his head to him.

She left the comm room as Tali opened her omni-tool to call her family's oldest friend, taking a giant leap of faith in Shepard and putting her people at risk. Her loyalty and trust weren't lost on Shepard; oddly enough it both warmed and broke her heart. So much had already changed, there were no guarantees anymore. There was every possibility the Migrant Fleet might react with horror, rejecting Legion's offer of peace and instead of preventing the war between the geth and quarians, it might actually jump start things.

Pulling up short of the doors to the tech labs, she turned to face Garrus and Legion following behind her. "Do you have any concerns about the meeting with the admirals, Legion? Anything we need to address before they come aboard?" She watched as the geth platform stilled, his head tilted slightly to the side—so like herself and many other organics, lost in thought, considering their options.

After a moment, the plates around his optics fluttered. "Scenario projections include the possibility the creator's vessels will fire on the Normandy after learning we are housed aboard Shepard-Commander's ship."

_"_ _That would risk bringing the Council down on them, whether or not they're in Council space. They know you're a Spectre—at least for now."_

Garrus flared his mandibles, his eyes widening as he glanced between Legion and Shepard.

She pursed her lips and shook her head. "I suppose it is possible, but I find it highly unlikely. As Jane just pointed out, I'm still a Spectre and as far as they know, attacking my ship would be the equivalent of attacking the Council. I doubt that's a fight they'd want to start over one geth platform."

She shrugged. "Besides, some of the other versions of me have walked right onto one of their ships to attend a treason hearing involving Tali with you right there at our side." She bobbed her head side to side. "Granted, it did cause a little bit of a commotion, but overall they accepted you as a part of my crew. The circumstances surrounding your introduction to the quarians are different this time. We're not asking them to accept you for the duration of a trial, but to engage with you in peace talks. There's a lot at stake, so we want to make sure we keep the introductions as pleasant as possible."

"We do not know what to expect from the creators Raan and Koris." Legion shifted his weight, the plating around his optics flaring wide before settling down once more.

"I chose Shala'Raan and Zaal'Koris because I think they are the most likely to hear us out and aid us." Shepard leaned against the wall, crossing her arms loosely over her chest. "Shala'Raan is very close to Tali, which will sway her to listen to everything we have to say before taking any action, and whatever action she takes will as much as possible, take Tali's wellbeing into consideration."

"Which means Admiral Raan will want to do whatever she can to avoid having the Migrant Fleet fire on the Normandy, especially while Tali's on board." Garrus nodded a little when Legion turned to look at him.

_"_ _Well, yeah, there's that, too."_

"Zaal'Koris is an outspoken advocate of leaving the geth to live in peace and colonizing a new homeworld; as opposed to the idea of attempting to reclaim Rannoch by force and destroying the geth." Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth in a half smile as Legion's platting fluttered at the tidbit of information. "Unlike many of the quarians, he believes once the geth gained sentience, they gained the right to life and autonomy. I believe he will be eager to hear what you have to say and to work with you however possible to the advantage of both the quarians and the geth." She watched Legion in silence for a moment, and when the geth didn't say anything else, she asked, "Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes." Legion nodded, just one quick, short dip of his head.

"Alright. I'll let you know when we're ready for you in the comm room." Shepard pushed off of the wall, moving to the tech lab doors.

Legion and Garrus passed on through the tech labs and out to the CIC, but Shepard lingered a moment. She let her feet turn away from the CIC doors, and crossed the floor to stand in front of the collector suspended inside of the stasis tank in the labs. Staring into the lifeless eyes, she still couldn't shake the feeling the collector somehow watched her, gazing into her soul and taking her measure. Mordin assured her time and time again there was no brain activity coming from the collector, but she wasn't so sure it meant Harbinger couldn't still see through its eyes.

Reports on collector activity had long since broken from the pattern she'd come to expect from Jane's memories, but then again, so had everything else she'd encountered in the galaxy. Still, why had they changed their patterns? Why weren't they attacking the same locations at the same times? It didn't seem feasible to her the few changes she'd managed to create during her cycle would be so far reaching, would mean anything to the reapers and their collector soldiers, causing them to deviate from their plans.

Sure, they're not choosing Horizon as a place of attack could be attributed to her changes. After all, they long suspected Ashley or Kaidan's presence on Horizon, and their connection to the Normandy and Shepard, that led the collectors there in the first place. Especially considering the same damn ship took out the Normandy, and lured Shepard into a trap with the Illusive Man's help. With both Ashley and Kaidan dead, she wasn't surprised Horizon became a lesser priority, but what about the other locations? Ferris Fields and New Canton hadn't been hit either, not yet at least, and things were getting close to the finish line. What have they been doing? Were any other places hit she didn't know about?

_"_ _You think they're planning something different?"_ Jane stirred, as restless with the idea as Shepard felt.

"Maybe," Shepard muttered before speaking out into the room, knowing the AI was always listening. "EDI, compile me a list of all the human colonies hit by the collectors so far. Scour news sources, look for any sightings anywhere else, or anything our sources might have missed. Send it to my inbox."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

She glanced over her shoulder at Mordin, finding the salarian with his eye to a microscope as he muttered to himself. Turning her attention back to the collector, she stared at it a moment longer. As she backed away from the tank, she kept her gaze on its eyes, and once again she could swear the black pools followed her movements. Tearing her gaze away from the tank, she made her way to Mordin's work station.

"Analyzing Maleon's data." His gaze flickered to hers in acknowledgement before fixating once again on whatever he was looking at through the microscope. "Obtained tissue sample from Grunt. Will require other samples from krogan not tank bred to extrapolate cure, but sufficient for initial studies."

Shepard chuckled. "Has anyone ever told you how incredibly brave you are, Mordin?"

Mordin sniffed, looking up at Shepard as if he were about to say something but stopped when the door to the CIC slid open. Garrus walked in, zeroing in on Shepard as he crossed the floor in long strides.

Coming to a stop next to her, he put his hand on the table. "There's been riots on the Citadel over Anderson's arrest." His mandibles fluttered. "The Council's refusal to announce what charges they're holding him on has led to the speculation the Council is working with The Dissension to remove humans from power."

_"_ _Hell, maybe they are. This whole leviathan treason crap—especially when they admit they know what's coming—seems like a far stretch."_ Jane's words did absolutely nothing to make the situation seem any better. _"Us and Anderson. Two birds, one stone."_

Shepard groaned and scrubbed her hands over her face before tilting her head back to stare at the ceiling. "Alright, Jane. I get it." She lifted her head, turning her attention back to Garrus. "How bad is it?"

He shook his head. "C-Sec has it mostly under control, but there's been property damage and injuries … a few casualties. A lot of arrests have been made."

"Fantastic." She took in a deep breath and let it out slow, rubbing at her forehead. "I'm trying to prevent wars between the quarians and the geth to help get the galaxy ready for a bigger threat, meanwhile everyone is determined to stir the pot and see what new troubles it can come up with."

Just then the doors leading to the comm room opened, letting in Tali and Lia. Tali halted in her tracks when she saw Shepard, her shoulder's slumping a little as she asked, "What's happened?"

"Nothing you need to worry about right now, Tali. Did you get a hold of the admirals?" Shepard forced the lines in her brow to relax, letting a hopeful smile spread across her face as she squared her shoulders.

"It wasn't easy, but we managed to convince both Auntie Raan and Zaal'Koris to come to the Normandy. We'll dock with the Tonbay. Zaal'Koris wasn't willing to seek captain approval to have the Normandy dock with the Qwib-Qwib, so he's taking a shuttle to the Tonbay and will meet us there." Tali glanced toward the CIC. "I'd better go make sure Joker can find the Tonbay."

Shepard nodded. "Thanks, Tali." Noting the way Lia lingered instead of following the older quarian to the cockpit, Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Everything alright, Lia?"

Lia wrung her hands together. "Do you really think this will work, Shepard?"

"Come here." She waved Lia over to her, draping her arm over the quarian's shoulders when Lia came close enough. "I think it's the best chance the quarians have ever had of reclaiming their homeworld since the Morning War." She took a deep breath, letting it out slow when Lia leaned into her. "I think there are going to be those who think this is insane, who would rather just go to war, but there's no way the entire Flotilla will ignore the opportunity we're offering them here." Squeezing Lia's shoulder, she smiled at her. "We've just got to hope together we can convince the rest. You, my dear, are bringing the Fleet the biggest Pilgrimage gift of all time. You could be a hero to your people."

Lia snorted. "Or the greatest war criminal of all time."

Garrus chuffed. "Well, they're certainly not going to laud you for your optimism."

"Garrus!" Shepard rapped her knuckles against his armored chest. "Be nice."

It did the trick though, pulling a giggle from Lia, her shoulder relaxing under Shepard's hand. "Bosh'tet."

Shepard struggled to fight back a snicker and lost.

Garrus flared his mandibles, his eyes widening. "Tali's a bad influence on you."

"Or you're just a bosh'tet." Shepard winked at him.

He chuffed, shaking his head at her. "You're all terrible people."

"Something bosh'tet would say," Mordin deadpanned, not even bothering to look back up from his microscope. "Now, lots of work to do. Talk distracting. Genophage not going to cure itself."

Shepard snorted. "I think that's our cue to go before he starts asking us for tissue samples or threatening to sedate us just to get us to shut up."

Mordin sniffed but didn't say anything else. Shepard held out her arms, herding Lia and Garrus toward the CIC doors.

"You have messages waiting for you, Commander. One of them is from the Council and it's marked urgent," Kelly said the moment they stepped into the CIC.

Fighting back the urge to groan again, Shepard nodded her head. "Thank you, Kelly."

She used the laptop set up for her next to the galaxy map to access her inbox. Garrus hovered over her shoulder while Lia made her way toward the cockpit to join the others. Skimming through the list of messages, she saw EDI had already compiled the report she asked for, but she would save it for later right along with the message from the Illusive Man. She opened the message from the Council, unsurprised to find it simply stated they required her presence on the Citadel immediately. Closing the message without bothering to respond, she glanced up at Garrus, comforted to see some of the warmth of compassion in his gaze again.

He hummed quietly, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Let's just try to focus on preventing Morning War II from breaking out on the ship, and we'll figure this mess out later." He rubbed his thumb along the back of her neck. "Together."

"Yeah." Shepard smiled, patting Garrus' hand. "Let's go see how many people we can cram into the cockpit before Joker loses his shit."

He chuckled, taking her hand in his, letting her lead him to the front of the ship. Weaving her way through the quarians, she slid into the co-pilot's chair and glanced at Joker. He scowled at her grin before turning his attention back to the controls. Shepard watched the hodge-podge mix of civilian and military ships as Joker maneuvered the Normandy through the Flotilla. When at last they reached the Tonbay, the Normandy circled around, lining up the airlocks before extending the covered, ship-to-ship walkway.

The Tonbay hailed the Normandy, requesting all crew stay aboard the ship and leave the airlock closed until the Tonbay secured its airlock behind the admirals to prevent contamination. With Garrus and the three quarians at her heel, Shepard made her way to the Normandy's airlock and waited, hands tucked behind her back.

Once the decontamination completed, the door opened. Shala'Raan and Zaal'Koris stood a couple of feet apart, facing each other. Their whispered conversation broke off and they turned to face Shepard.

Shala'Raan took a step forward. "You must be Captain Shepard vas Normandy; we request permission to come aboard."

Shepard extended her hand. "Shepard is fine. Please, come aboard. Welcome, admirals."

Shala'Raan shook Shepard's hand, dipping her head. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Shepard. Tali'Zorah has told me so much about you. You are welcome to call me Shala'Raan." She crossed over the threshold when Shepard stepped aside, allowing her entrance.

"Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib. Call me whatever you like, it makes no matter to me." He shook Shepard's hand, glancing around the ship. He nodded his head as if giving Shepard his approval over the Normandy before locking his attention on Lia. "Miss Vael, now that I'm here, perhaps you can tell me why it is you've requested my presence."

"With all due respect, Admiral, even though Shepard has made it clear her loyalties aren't with Cerberus, this is a Cerberus vessel." Kal said, taking his position next to Tali. "To protect the security of the Migrant Fleet, I believe it would be best if we didn't discuss matters sensitive to the Migrant Fleet in front of the Cerberus crew."

"Kal'Reegar vas Neema," Zaal'Koris said with a tut, "do you think me nothing more than a child not yet on his Pilgrimage?"

Kal squared his shoulders, tucking his hands behind his back. "Of course not, sir."

Shala'Raan scoffed. "And neither is Kal'Reegar a child on his, Zaal'Koris. He is one of our finest marines, doing what he is sworn to do, protecting the Migrant Fleet." She waved her hand, brushing aside Zaal'Koris' annoyed huff and turning her attention to Shepard. "We thank you for inviting us into your ship, Shepard."

"I don't need you to speak for me, Shala'Raan." Zaal'Koris crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm sure Shepard understands that as an admiral, I have responsibilities to tend to. The Normandy is a fine vessel, and as always it is an honor to be allowed entrance to another's ship, but if I'm not mistaken we weren't called here for a social visit."

Jane scoffed. _"Self-important ass."_

Shepard forced a smile on her face and extended her arm, indicating they should follow her. "Of course, Admiral. If you'll follow me, I'll take you to the comm room where we can speak freely."

She led the way to the comm room, moving through the armory in order to avoid awkward questions about the collector in the tech labs. She waited for the doors to close behind them before speaking again. "This is Garrus Vakarian, he'll be joining us for this conversation, and I don't know whether either of you have actually met Lia'Vael nar Ulnay?"

"We have not yet met, no." Shala'Raan nodded her head to Lia. "Keelah se'lai, Lia'Vael nar Ulnay."

"Keelah se'lai, Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay. It's an honor to meet you." Lia's voice warbled, betraying the outward calm she pulled around herself the moment the admiral stepped aboard.

Zaal'Koris nodded his head. "We met once, many years ago. I doubt you were old enough to recall. Keelah se'lai, Lia'Vael nar Ulnay."

"Oh." Lia paused, her hands worrying a leather strap on her suit. "No, sorry, I don't recall, but it is an honor to meet you now. Keelah se'lai, Admiral Zaal'Koris."

"Garrus Vakarian, I've heard much about you. You are the C-Sec agent that came to Tali'Zorah's aid on the Citadel." Shala'Raan looked between Tali and Garrus. "I think she looks up to you as much as she does Shepard."

"Auntie Raan!" Tali screeched, pulling a chuckle from everyone in the room, even the more reserved admiral. "He's never going to let me live this down."

_"_ _No, no he isn't,"_ Jane said, laughing.

Garrus fluttered his mandibles, a smirk turning up the corners of his mouth. "Is that so?"

"Oh yes," Shala'Raan said, waving her hand, "she talked about the both of you non-stop when she returned from her Pilgrimage."

"Auntie Raan, please!" Tali clasped her hands in front of her. "We have more important things to discuss, and Garrus' ego is big enough." She cleared her throat, a determined sound somehow suddenly making her seem older. "Admiral Raan, Admiral Zoris, we've asked you here because there is a matter of significance to the Migrant Fleet we need to discuss with the Admiralty Board, but felt the nature of the situation warranted a private conversation first."

"Tali'Zorah …." Shala'Raan trailed off, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. "You know that we can't take any actions as admirals here."

"Oh, no!" Tali held her palms out. "Of course. We just wanted to explain the situation to you, so that the Admiralty Board can decide how best to proceed. We didn't want to drag this out in front of everyone without giving you the chance to prepare for the uproar it will probably cause among the Flotilla."

"Perhaps you'd better tell us what this situation is, Tali'Zorah." Zaal'Koris took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling dramatically as he looked over the other quarians before glancing at Shepard and Garrus.

"Shepard has—we have a geth here on the Normandy—" Tali began but didn't get very far.

"You've captured a geth? An active geth?" Shala'Raan dropped her arms, her glowing eyes blinking rapidly behind her violet mask.

Zaal'Koris stood a little taller, his back straightening, projecting the haughty air of his. "If you have called us here to take part in the execution of a geth, I will not take part of it!"

Shepard cleared her throat, drawing the admirals' attention to her. "Legion is a part of my crew; no one will be executing him."

"Legion … the crew … I don't understand." Shala'Raan spared a glance at Tali before looking back at Shepard. "Shepard, you of all people should understand how dangerous the geth are! You fought them all across the galaxy—kept them from taking the Citadel!"

Holding a hand up, she shook her head. "The geth we fought were a separate faction: those that chose to allow themselves to be taken in by the reapers. They had their programming altered by the reapers, so much so the other geth no longer even refer to them as 'geth.' They call them 'heretics.'"

Zaal'Koris took a couple of steps closer to Shepard. "You have a geth as part of your crew?" The building excitement in his voice was exactly what Shepard hoped for. "It's here, on the Normandy … not as a prisoner of war, but living among your people peacefully?"

"The geth—the actual geth, not the heretics—don't want war with organics, Admiral." Shepard continued, ignoring Shala'Raan's scoff. "They never wanted war with the organics. It's why they didn't pursue the quarians beyond the Perseus Veil. The only wanted to live."

"You can't know that, Shepard. You're not quarian; humans hadn't even discovered the mass relays yet … you weren't there, you can't know." Shala'Raan shook her head.

Shepard bit back the anger welling up in her throat. The last few weeks had already thrown so much at her; she needed this to go right. The quarians needed this to go right. Hell, the whole goddamned galaxy needed this to go right. Whenever she encountered a quarian so adamantly refusing to believe their understanding of history and the geth race might just be wrong—skewed by time, fear, and shame—she just wanted to slap them in the back of their heads.

"With all due respect, Admiral, you weren't there, either." The muscles of her neck and shoulders tightened, the aggravation feeling stronger than it would if it were just hers alone. "The quarians are no more exempted from inaccuracies in the telling of their histories than any other organic species with organic, faulty memories, ruled by organic emotion and a pension to hide their mistakes." She clenched her jaw, crossing her arms to hide her hands as they curled into fists. "With all due respect, Admiral, the quarians created new life and then when they realized what they'd done, they tried to commit genocide. Killing every geth they could—they even killed their own when a few quarians with a conscious tried to defend the geth!"

"Shepard …." Garrus' voice snagged her attention but didn't calm her any.

"What did you expect them to do? They defended themselves, and what makes them better than you—than all organics—is they stopped chasing once you left the Veil" She took another step closer to the admiral. "They didn't want war, they didn't want genocide. They didn't want to kill their creators even though you wanted to kill them!" She threw her hands up in the air, moving still closer. "They still don't. If you could all just drop your ancient grudges and listen for a few minutes, you could have Rannoch back, peacefully!"

"Shepard," Garrus said again, stepping up beside her, putting his hand on her shoulder, gently urging her back.

She stopped, shame washing over her as she let her gaze roam over the tense, stiff-backed quarians. Kal had moved a few steps closer to her during her tirade, no doubt ready to defend the quarian admiral no matter the cost. Lia wrung her wrists so furiously, it was miraculous she hadn't torn through her suit. Tali's body language screamed uncertainty, one foot facing Shepard, the other the woman she considered family.

Shala'Raan herself stood her ground, glowing eyes wide behind her mask, but the tremble in her fingers spoke volumes. Whether those volumes contained outrage or fear, Shepard wasn't entirely certain. Zaal'Koris, on the other hand, watched the exchange with rapt attention, his body language practically vibrating with the justification she suspected he felt hearing his own thoughts given words through another's voice.

_"_ _So much for handling things delicately."_ Jane snorted. _"Feel better?"_

"A little," Shepard thought.

Taking a deep breath, she turned, moving to the door to lean against the frame. "Look, all I'm asking is for you to postpone judgment until you've met Legion and listened to what he has to say."

"Well, I won't speak for Shala'Raan, but I'm absolutely thrilled by the prospects and would greatly appreciate the chance to speak with … Legion." Zaal'Koris glanced at Lia and Tali, nodding his head. "You used sound judgment asking us to come in person." He turned to look at Shala'Raan. "I only hope sound judgment can continue to be used here today."

_"_ _Should've guessed an impassioned defense of the geth would be all he needed."_

"Auntie Raan … please try to understand. Shepard considers Legion to be a part of her crew, and just as she would for me, or Garrus, or any of the others, she speaks in his defense." Tali moved around the table to stand in front of her aunt. "She didn't invite you here to insult you or the rest of our people, but to try and help."

"Oh, Tali'Zorah," Shala'Raan said, lifting a hand to Tali's shoulder, "I may not understand or agree with your Captain's opinions, but I am glad to see you've aligned yourself with such a strong woman, and if she would so easily use her strength to look after you, then there is no place I'd rather you be." She pulled Tali into an embrace, her hand cradling the back of the younger quarian's head. "You're calling this geth a 'he,' Tali'Zorah. Have you accepted this as the truth, then?"

Tali pulled back, hanging her head for a moment before meeting Shala'Raan's gaze. "I don't know. I don't know what really happened between the quarians and the geth … but I've spent time with Legion, and I've seen him with Lia. I can't deny he's a real person, Auntie Raan. Calling him an 'it' reduces him to an object and he's so much more. I believe Legion truly means us no harm, and we should at least hear him out."

_"_ _Damn, I didn't realize Legion had already left so much of an impression on Tali,"_ Jane said.

"Neither did I," Shepard thought. "She and Kal haven't been back on the Normandy for very long, I guess having Lia around really helped bring her over to the geth's side."

_"_ _I think hearing from me that she can trust Legion might've done some good, too."_

"You're probably right," Shepard thought, acknowledging Jane's victory.

Shala'Raan's gaze drifted to Lia before coming back to Tali. "What does this Legion have to do with Lia'Vael?"

Lia cleared her throat, shoving her arms down to her sides and stepped forward. "Perhaps this part should come from me." She hesitated when everyone in the room turned to look at her, her gaze flitting to Shepard. She took a deep breath and nodded when Shepard smiled at her. "Since I first came aboard the Normandy, I've spent a significant amount of time with Legion." Lia shifted her weight from foot to foot. "More than anyone else, actually. We've learned from each other—helped each other."

"Go ahead, Lia." Tali nodded her head at the younger quarian, her voice filled with encouragement.

Lia cleared her throat. "Don't be alarmed. I promise it's safe for me." Reaching up, she removed her facemask despite the sudden gasps coming from the admirals.

"Are you mad, child?!" Shala'Raan rushed around the table, grabbing Lia's wrist, trying to force her to put her mask back on. "You could die!" She looked at Tali, her eyes wide with terror. "We need to get her to quarantine!"

"No, Auntie Raan." Tali moved to her aunt's side, urging her to let go of Lia. "She will be fine, just listen."

"Miss Vael … how have you managed …?" Zaal'Koris trailed off, shaking his head, his hand over his heart.

Lia shook her head, ringlets of blond hair falling free from her hood. "It's not my doing. Legion has been uploading programs to my suit at night. With permission, of course!" She fiddled with the mask in her hand, her pink tongue darting out to wet her lips before she continued. "The programs are able to simulate viruses, forcing my immune system to respond, without truly making me sick."

"Keelah se'lai," Shala'Raan whispered, lifting a shaking hand, hesitating with her gloved fingers inches from Lia's face.

Lia smiled, taking the admiral's hand, pulling it the rest of the way, letting Shala'Raan touch her exposed face. Tears welled up in Lia's eyes, and Shepard suspected Shala'Raan might be crying, too. She couldn't imagine what the moment must feel like to either of them.

_"_ _She'll fight tooth and nail to bring this moment to all of her people,"_ Jane said. _"Congratulations, Dawn, I think you might've prevented the next quarian-geth war."_

"Let's hope so," Shepard thought, letting out a slow breath with a growing smile.

After a moment, Lia lifted her hand, tucking her hair back inside of her hood. "It's best if I don't leave it off too long." She replaced her mask when the admiral pulled her hand away. "I've acclimated to the environment of the Normandy almost entirely. I'll still get a mild fever for having taken it off, but I might not even need to use my suit's antibiotics to fight it off."

Deciding that exposing the admirals to one AI was enough for now, Shepard stepped out into the hall to ask EDI to notify Legion they were ready for him.


	45. Chapter 44: Don't Fire on the Geth

**Chapter 44: Don't Fire on the Geth**

Shepard paced the floors of her cabin, waiting for word back from the Admiralty Board. Zaal'Koris and Shala'Raan returned to the Migrant Fleet an hour before, both eager and determined to convince the rest of the Admiralty Board to grant Legion and Shepard as his 'Captain' and audience. In the meanwhile, she tried to keep herself busy reviewing EDI's report.

Collector ship sightings over several human colonies and increased requests for human specimens in the Terminus Systems filled the report. Sighing in frustration, she was about to toss the datapad aside when something caught her eye: reports of sightings in the Attican Traverse. What were the collectors doing in the Attican Traverse? More importantly, how had the Council not been informed? Or had they? If the collectors were moving into the Attican Traverse, they were entering Council controlled space, which meant they could take action. Granted, much of the Attican Traverse had already been encroached on by members of the Terminus Systems and the Council had done nothing to hinder their movement in the hopes of avoiding a war with the Terminus Systems.

_"_ _I doubt the Council is in the dark. If the collectors are moving into the Traverse, it's been noted by someone somewhere."_ Jane hummed in the back of Shepard's head. _"It could simply be because they already have us on the situation … but then you'd think they'd inform us of any new developments … unless they're just hoping we'll take care of it without pressing them for reinforcements now that they have jurisdiction."_

"It doesn't really matter now either way; not with Anderson locked up and the Council coming after us for treason." Shepard spoke out loud, far more comfortable conversing openly with Jane when no one else was around to see her—aside from EDI. It wasn't because she didn't think EDI counted; just that EDI was always present. Always. "And now, of course, we can't even take this to them on the off chance they don't know."

"Shepard?" EDI's voice cut through Shepard's train of thought.

She glanced up, turning to look at the AI's access node. "What's up, EDI?"

"We've received word from the Migrant Fleet. We're being given permission to dock with the Tonbay." EDI paused, her blue hologram hovering, her lights flickering in what Shepard had come to recognize as contemplation. "They are willing to grant Legion the opportunity to address the Admiralty Board, but are insisting he be completely stripped of all weapons and subjected to scanning."

"Scanning?" Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"I believe they intend to gather data on how the geth have evolved since last contact." EDI paused again. "Considering the tensions between the quarians and the geth, it is likely this information will be used against the geth in the event of a confrontation."

Shepard held her breath a moment, her mind running through all of the terrible scenarios it could come up with in a handful of seconds. Letting the air rush out of her lungs in a huff she rubbed her forehead. "Thank you, EDI. I'll go talk to Legion. Tell Joker to hold off on docking with the Tonbay until I know whether or not Legion agrees to their conditions."

"As you wish, Shepard." EDI's hologram closed, leaving Shepard once again with the illusion of being alone.

"Well fuck." She groaned pinching the bridge of her nose.

_"_ _He's going to want you to tell him what to do,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, and I won't do it. All I can do is give him my opinion, and tell him I'll support his choice." She walked up the stairs, dropping the datapad on her desk before leaving her cabin.

_"_ _What are you going to do when he insists you decide on whether or not to reprogram the heretics?"_ Jane asked when Shepard stepped inside of the elevator. _"Or when he turns to you on Rannoch and tells you he wants to give the reaper code back to his people? Damn … will any of that even happen now? The reaper code, I mean? If the quarians and the geth make nice right now, the rest of the geth will never turn to the reapers when facing war with the quarians."_

"I don't know," she muttered, pushing the button for the third deck. "But I'll be damned if I'm going to set the quarians and geth up for a war they don't have to fight … set Legion up to be tortured. The geth will have to find another way to reach that point. Hell, maybe being reunited with the quarians will help get them there. Legion's already changing from spending so much time with Lia."

_"_ _No, of course. I wasn't implying you should."_ Jane hesitated, her conflicted feelings leaking through to Shepard. _"I just meant … well, by helping we're hindering."_

"I'm doing the best I can with what we have." Shepard shoved a few stray pieces of hair out of her face and took a deep breath. "You wanted change, Jane. Well, this is change. I don't know if any of it is what we need, but I'm trying."

_"_ _Yeah,"_ Jane said before pulling back into the recesses of Shepard's mind, shutting herself away.

With her connection to Jane muted, she found she actually felt a little emptier inside. The elevator door opened, and she made her way to the med bay. Dr. Chakwas looked up and smiled at Shepard before turning back to her work. It occurred to Shepard she really should tell Dr. Chakwas that Anderson had been arrested, but she just couldn't bring herself to talk about it yet.

Making her way past the doc, she opened the AI core. Lia paced around inside, restless and wringing her hands. Legion watched her, his head swiveling back and forth as the rest of him remained motionless. They both turned to look at her when she stepped inside.

"Lia, can I have a moment with Legion, please?" She moved out of the way of the door, coming to a stop in front of Legion and tucking her hands behind her back.

"Uh, oh, um, sure." Lia glanced between Shepard and Legion. "Of course, Shepard. I'll see you in a little while, Legion." She left the AI core with one final glance over her shoulder at the geth.

"Shepard-Commander," Legion said when the door closed.

"The Migrant Fleet has contacted the Normandy, and they're willing to grant us an audience, but they have conditions." She glanced around the AI core, her gaze finding the dried daisy April gave Legion stuck to the back wall. Taking a deep breath she turned her attention back to the geth waiting patiently in front of her. "They want you to be disarmed before boarding the Tonbay, and they want you to submit to scans. It wasn't specified, but it's likely these scans are meant to study geth advancements." She raked her thumbnail across her brow. "I don't think I need to tell you this could give them a tactical advantage should the quarians and geth ever go to war instead of making peace. However, such a gesture now would undoubtedly go a long way toward easing the fears of the quarians, making them more open to the idea of working with the geth. Ultimately, this is your decision, Legion. I won't make it for you, but I'll respect whatever choice you make. The Tonbay is waiting for our response."

Legion shifted his weight, the flaps around his optics fluttering as the single iris dilated. "We are unable to reach a consensus."

Shepard nodded her head before lowering her gaze, staring at the empty stretch of floor between her feet and his. "I thought that might be the case. If you'd like, I can attempt to speak with them to see if I can convince them to waive the condition of the scans. It's pretty unlikely, though, they'll agree to let you come aboard with weapons. Can you reach a consensus on whether or not you'll agree to go unarmed?"

Legion bobbed his head before turning away from Shepard, removing first his sniper rifle and then his assault rifle, laying them on the bench at the back of the room. "We agree to board the Tonbay unarmed if Shepard-Commander successfully negotiates with the creators."

"Thank you, Legion. Come with me to the comm room, you should be present when I call them." She jerked her head toward the door before leaving the AI core, already planning what she'd say to the Admiralty Board. Unsurprised to find Lia waiting just outside the door, she stopped in front of the quarian. "We're going to need to place a call to the admirals, we're working out a few kinks, but so far everything is fine, Lia. Take a deep breath, you did great in there."

Lia's shoulder's relaxed, her respirator hissing as she pulled in a deep breath and nodded her head. "Thank you, Shepard."

Shepard reached out, squeezing Lia's shoulder but turned her head to look at EDI's access node across the med bay. "EDI," she said, watching as the blue hologram sprung to life, "please notify Tali that I need her in the comm room. Kal is welcome to join her if he wishes."

"Right away, Shepard." The hologram winked out of existence once more.

Turning her attention back to Lia, she patted her shoulder before letting her hand drop. "You can come too, if you want." She didn't wait for Lia's response before she started walking again, trusting Legion would be right behind her, and willing to bet a year's salary on Lia being right next to him.

Tali and Kal were already in the elevator when it reached the third deck to pick up Shepard and the others. On the way up to the CIC, she informed the quarians of the Admiralty Board's conditions and her intent to attempt to negotiate on Legion's behalf. With unspoken agreement, they all stopped talking when the elevator doors opened, and didn't speak again until they were in the comm room with the door closed behind them.

"What do you need me to do, Shepard?" Tali leaned against the table next to Kal.

"You have a bit of an inside view of how the Admiralty Board works, being an admiral's daughter." Shepard crossed her arms and leaned against the wall across from them.

Tali inclined her head in agreement. "Former admiral, but yes."

"And you've developed a working relationship with Legion." Shepard couldn't help the grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I suppose," Tali said, wariness dragging out the words.

"Kal, Lia, do either of you have issue with Tali acting as a representative to your people on your behalves?" She glanced between the two other quarians, eyebrow raised. Shepard thought she could almost see the smile on Kal's face behind his mask, the outer corners of his eyes narrowing.

"I can't think of anyone else I'd rather represent me, ma'am." Kal glanced at Tali, a soft chuckle shaking his shoulders.

"I don't have any problem with Tali representing us, but representing us for what?" Lia asked.

Shepard moved to stand next to Legion. "I'd like Tali to act as my co-mediator between Legion and the Admiralty Board. If Legion and Tali both agree, it will be Tali's job to help me negotiate terms that are fair and agreeable to both quarians and geth." She held up a hand to silence Tali's anxious groan. "You're the best person for the job, Tali. You're a quarian who has not only shown loyalty to her people on multiple occasions, the most recent being turning in your own father, but you are also a member of the Normandy's crew, which means you work beside Legion. You understand the politics, you understand the needs of the quarians, and you understand what it is the geth are offering. I won't force you to do this, but I have complete faith in your ability to handle this situation." She glanced at the geth next to her. "Legion, is this agreeable to you?"

Legion turned his head to look at Shepard, shifting his stance to mimic hers. "Yes."

"Wonderful," she said, turning back to Tali. "Well, what do you say?"

_"_ _You'll make and admiral out of her yet."_ Jane sighed, her weariness carrying over to Shepard.

Tali glanced back and forth between everyone in the room before letting out a frustrated growl and throwing her hands up in the air. "Alright, Shepard. I don't know why you think I'm the one for this sort of thing, but if all of you are crazy enough to push me into it, it's on your heads if I mess it all up."

Shepard grinned, reaching out to squeeze Tali's arm. "You won't mess it up. EDI, please connect us to the Admiralty Board on the Tonbay."

"Right away, Shepard." EDI's hologram stretched out, creating a screen above the table.

Shepard moved to stand next to Tali, pointing to a spot on the floor just behind and between the two of them, waving Legion over to stand there. Kal moved up to stand at Tali's other side, while Lia lingered behind Shepard next to Legion. It took a couple of minutes for the call to connect, and when it did only Shala'Raan and Zaal'Koris appeared in front of the screen.

Shepard's brow twitched, having expected for them to have the other admirals with them. "Admirals." She dipped her head in deference. "We wish to further discuss the conditions you've requested."

"I see," Shala'Raan said, glancing at Zaal'Koris. "What are you suggesting?"

Shepard glanced at Tali and gently cleared her throat. When Tali looked at her she arched an eyebrow and nodded. She smiled as the quarian squared her shoulders and shoved her hands down at her sides, turning her attention back to the screen.

"We are uncomfortable with the request Legion submit to scanning. We feel it unfairly disadvantages and threatens the geth when they are offering to discuss the possibility of restoring peace between the geth and quarian peoples." Tali shifted, glancing at Shepard before continuing, "We see no issue with the request Legion disarm before boarding the Tonbay, and he has agreed to this request."

_"_ _Not bad, Tali. Not bad,"_ Jane said.

"Tali'Zorah, Shepard, you must understand, while I agree with what you are saying, the Admiralty Board isn't going to accept an advanced geth platform walking onto the Migrant Fleet without some assurance … something they feel they've gained up front." Zaal'Koris crossed his arms over his chest.

_"_ _What do they want more than information on the geth?"_ Jane prompted, giving Shepard a mental nudge.

Shepard turned, hiding her face from the screen as she whispered, "Legion, do you have access to reports on Rannoch's status?"

"Yes." Legion fluttered the plates around his optics.

"Are you willing to provide the Migrant Fleet with these reports?" She asked.

Legion's iris dilated and he dipped his head. "Yes."

Turning back to the screen, Shepard focused on Zaal'Koris. "Legion is prepared to offer the Migrant Fleet reports on the status of Rannoch, if this is agreeable to the Admiralty Board."

"Reports?" Zaal'Koris shifted his weight.

Shala'Raan leaned forward, her eye wide behind her mask. "What exactly is in these reports?"

_"_ _Bingo."_ Jane's words left the impression of a smug grin on her face.

Shepard glanced behind her. "Legion?"

"We can provide information on the levels of toxic materials remaining from the war, progress on the reconstruction of buildings, the reinstitution of plant and animal life, and cultivated farmlands on Rannoch." Legion shifted his weight.

Shala'Raan glanced over her shoulder at Zaal'Koris before turning back to the screen. "Will you excuse us for a moment, please?"

"Of course, Admiral," Tali said before glancing at Shepard in what seemed like a knee-jerk reaction.

Shepard dipped her head. "Of course."

The two admirals disappeared from view, returning a few minutes later. Shala'Raan was the first to speak, "We would like the reports transferred to Kal'Reegar immediately, upon his confirmation of the reports containing what you say they do, we agree to these terms."

Seconds after the words left the admiral's mouth, Kal opened his omni-tool. Shepard's lips twitched in a smile, she kept her eyes on the screen, watching from her peripherals as Kal scanned through the reports. After a couple of minutes, he closed his omni-tool and tucked his hands behind his back.

"I have received the reports, Admiral Raan. I believe them to contain the agreed upon information." Kal gave the admirals a quick jerk of a nod.

"Very well, then we are agreed and await your arrival on the Tonbay." Zaal'Koris dipped his head.

"I'll give my pilot the green light to begin docking procedures. Thank you. Normandy out." Shepard waited for the screen to darken and EDI to return to her usual form before letting herself smile. "EDI, please tell Joker to begin docking with the Tonbay, and ask Garrus to meet us at the airlock."

After a moment, EDI responded, "Docking procedures have been initiated with the Tonbay, and Garrus is on his way to the airlock."

"Thanks, EDI," said Shepard.

"You are welcome. Logging you out, Shepard." EDI's hologram collapsed in on itself.

Shepard clapped her hands, rubbing them together. "Alright, let's do this." She made her way to the door, turning back around to pull Tali into a hug. "You did great. You'll do great." She let Tali go and made her way out of the comm room, and through the tech labs, out to the CIC. The elevator opened as they passed, and Shepard stopped, turning to wait as Garrus stepped off.

He stopped next to her, eyeing her top to bottom. "You're not in armor … no weapons?"

"Just my sidearm." Shepard glanced down at her hip.

"Was this their idea or yours?" His mandibles flared.

_"_ _We always went in fully armored and armed."_ Jane seemed to shrug. _"It wasn't a matter of not trusting the quarians, but you just never know …."_

Shepard smiled and thought, "It just doesn't feel right."

"Mine. It's fine, Garrus. The quarians aren't going to attack us; we're not going into hostile territory." She took his hand, squeezing his fingers. "Consider it a show of good faith. This is going to work."

"You're the boss." He squeezed her hand, fluttering his mandibles.

She grinned. "Yes I am." Pushing up on her tiptoes, she pressed a kiss to his mouth plates before leading him off to the airlock to join the others.

When the airlock opened, they stepped out onto the walkway. The decontamination process began, a series of blue grids passing over them, burning away any foreign bodies capable of spreading to the Flotilla. The Tonbay's airlock opened, and they were greeted by six armed marines, weapons held low but ready.

_"_ _Still think the armor didn't feel right?"_ Jane snorted softly. _"At least you did bring a sidearm."_

"Stop, Jane. It's going to work," Shepard thought.

Gasps and whispers of 'keelah se'lai' filled the air the moment Legion crossed over the threshold. Curious quarian civilians, bold enough to see the geth as he came aboard gathered in the entryway halls. They pushed back against the walls, finding shelter by clustering together as Legion passed by, surrounded by quarian guards and Shepard's team.

They were led through ship's switchback halls until they passed through an archway opening out into the expansive body of the ship, serving as the lifeblood of the quarian community. Shepard could barely make out the mix of metal walkways and constructed gardens at her feet. More quarians than she'd ever seen in any one place—even in her multiple memories of attending Tali's treason trials aboard the Rayya—crowded the floor, jostling one another, pushing in against the guards even as they parted to let them through.

Shala'Raan stood at the head of the gathered admirals on a dais, smack in the middle of the floor. It made sense, seeing as the Tonbay was her home ship. The layout was different than the Rayya, lacking the bench seats surrounding the speaker's stage and the railing serving to separate the admirals from everyone else. It left the crowds able to push as close to Shepard and her crew as the guards would allow.

Zaal'Koris stood at Shala'Raan's right, arms crossed over his chest, weight resting on one hip and looking for the entire galaxy as if he'd just been give the crown of all quarian-kind. Shepard could almost see the smug gleam in his eyes and the Cheshire cat grin on his face. She was handing him everything he'd ever hoped for, and in a few minutes, the rest of his people would have to admit he'd been right about the geth all along.

She scanned the dais, the uncomfortable itch of memories that weren't really hers supplying her with names to the other admirals, filling her in on why each of them were important in regards to the geth. Shepard's skin crawled as she watched Admiral Daro'Xen vas Moreh study Legion with a predator's gaze. Clearly she wanted nothing more than to pull Legion apart piece by piece just to see what made him tick. Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema surprised Shepard, however. Knowing the admiral was a strong voice towards declaring war on the geth in order to reclaim Rannoch, she expected something much more aggressive in his stance but found it lacking. He seemed … curious, yet cautious.

_"_ _Don't trust him. You can't trust him, he's geth-blood-thirsty as all hell. He's the reason the quarians go to war with the geth. He presses the attack on the disabled geth ship while_ we're _still inside."_ Jane seethed, her anger growing the longer Shepard looked at Han'Gerrel. _"And_ he _is the one who will press the attack against all reason if we aren't able to talk him down, leaving us to either watch the quarians die, or the geth die."_

"Alright, Jane," Shepard thought, rolling her head to try and loosen some of the sudden tension in her neck. "I don't trust him. Got it."

Jane eased back, the anger flooding Shepard dimming. _"Okay. Good. Thank you."_

Reaching the admirals, the guards broke around Shepard and her team, spreading out around them leaving their fronts exposed to the Admiralty Board. Shepard glanced up at Garrus, and he turned his head to look down at her. He nodded once, a sharp bob of his head and light flutter of his mandibles, telling her without words he was with her all the way. She smiled, shifting her weight, letting her shoulder brush against him as she turned her head the other way to take in Tali.

Tali's gaze roamed the room, her head swiveling from one side to the other before she locked in on her aunt and stepped forward, standing right next to Shepard. "I didn't think it would be so crowded." She tilted her head back and gasped, drawing Shepard's attention with her up to the screens hovering above, acting as windows into other ships on the Migrant Fleet. "Kelah se'lai."

Shepard barely heard Tali over the cacophony, but she smiled at her friend, hoping Tali might find some encouragement and strength in the faith Shepard had in her.

Shala'Raan opened her omni-tool, her fingers running over the keys. When she spoke, her voice projected out over the crowd, effectively silencing them. "This Conclave is brought to order. Blessed are the ancestors who kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. Keelah se'lai."

Quarian voices from all around, filtering back to them through the vid feeds, answered the call. "Keelah se'lai."

"I know these are unusual circumstances, something not covered by our rituals and traditions. Many of you are frightened, some of you are outraged. However, we must remember who we are, where we have come from, and where we hope to someday return." Shala'Raan looked out over the crowd, tilting her head back to glance up at the screens hovering over the room. "We have invited Captain Shepard and the Normandy's crew here as our guests. This includes the geth platform known to Captain Shepard as Legion. Any unprovoked acts of violence towards Legion will be treated as an unprovoked act of violence toward Captain Shepard, both by the members of the Normandy, and by the Admiralty Board. Our laws are clear on how such a thing will be punished."

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief as the admiral's words seemed to help further calm Jane. The crowd murmured, some of the quarians pushing in against the ring of guards easing back, until Shala'Raan held up a hand to silence them once more.

"We all know Captain Shepard has proven herself to be a friend of the quarians; she took in Tali'Zorah during her Pilgrimage and now Lia'Vael nar Ulnay, too. She has welcomed Tali'Zorah and Kal'Reegar onto her ship and by all reports treated them as friends and equals to all others on her crew." She gestured at the three quarians standing with Shepard. "Even now she comes to us without the armor and weapons we are all so accustomed to seeing her with in all of the images and vids. She stands before us, as a friend to our people, showing us trust. It is not so much to ask that we extend the same to her and listen to what she has to say." She focused her attention on Shepard and held a hand out. "Captain Shepard, please step forward."

"Thank you, Admiral," Shepard said, pleased to find whatever Shala'Raan did worked to project Shepard's voice as well. "I think it might be best if much of what we have to say comes from one of your own, so any who might doubt my intentions can hear it from the mouth of someone they know will have quarian interests at heart. I also think Tali is more than capable of acting as a just and equitable negotiator, should the Migrant Fleet agree to enter that stage of discussions."

Shala'Raan's eyes narrowed, lifting up at the edges, clearly smiling even if her mouth remained hidden. She ran her hand over her omni-tool and nodded. "Very well, Tali'Zorah vas Rayya, please step forward."

Together, Shepard and Tali took a few steps closer to the dais. A soft murmur ran through the crowd again, but they reined it in before the admiral had need to silence them.

"Thank you, Admiral Raan." Tali glanced at Shepard, her hands creeping up as if she intended to start wringing them before she shoved them down at her sides.

"I first encountered Legion on Alchera while placing a memorial amidst the wreckage of the original Normandy." Shepard paused when an unexpected 'keelah se'lai' rose up from the crowd. She dipped her head. "Thank you." She glanced over her shoulder at Legion, his optics whirring opened and closed as he looked around the area. Turning back to the gathered admirals, she continued, "Legion's platform was specifically designed for extended time spent away from the geth hubs, so he can live among and interact with organics as proficiently as possible. His platform was created and uploaded with one-thousand one-hundred and eighty-three programs, tasked with finding me." Looking over her shoulder again, she found Legion watching her, he dipped his head at her and she turned back to the dais.

"I quickly learned there has been a schism with the geth." Shepard waited while the crowd shifted and muttered amongst themselves. "I'm sure all of you saw the vids of the geth attack on the Citadel led by the rogue Spectre Saren Arterius and what the Council would have you believe to be a geth constructed flagship." She licked her lips and let her gaze roam over the crowd. "The geth working with Saren were a faction of programs who chose to separate themselves from the rest of the geth community, allowing their programming to be altered as they changed their allegiances."

"Perhaps Legion can explain this further, Captain." Zaal'Koris moved a little closer to the edge of the platform.

The noise level rose as all heads turned to look at Legion. Shepard held her hand out to the geth, stepping aside to create a space between her and Tali as he moved forward. The volume increased to near deafening levels, and it took the admirals nearly a full minute to get everyone to settle down once more.

"What would you like to know, Creator-Koris?" Legions' optic flaps flared and he shifted beside Shepard when the crowds began talking again.

"If these proceedings cannot be respected," Zaal'Koris said, his gaze sweeping over the crowd, "then we will be forced to ask all of those not of the Tonbay to return to their own vessels." He turned back to Legion as a hush fell over the room. "Legion, will you please share with us how this schism Captain Shepard speaks of came about?"

"Yes." He fluttered his optic flaps before letting them relax. "Nazara, also called Sovereign, altered the code of basic runtimes of those programs seeking their future through the Old Machines. They are no longer geth." He shifted his weight, his optic panels fluttering. "They are heretics, worshiping the Old Machines. The heretics and Old Machines now attack the geth."

"When you say 'Old Machines', you are referring to the AIs Captain Shepard calls reapers. Is this correct?" Zaal'Koris moved a little closer to Legion, now standing only a few feet away from the geth platform.

"Yes."

"And you can verify what Captain Shepard has said about the reapers' and the … heretics' intent toward organic races?" Han'Gerrel spoke this time, drawing the attention of the room.

Jane bristled in the back of Shepard's mind, sending her skin crawling as fine hairs stood up along her neck and arms.

"Yes." Legion nodded.

Panicked voices rose up above the din, shouting out questions. "How do we know this one isn't working with the reapers?"

"So what if it isn't? The geth are still our enemies!"

"Why should we trust them? They're working with Cerberus!"

Shepard winced, the noise inside her head rising to match the level outside. Angry whispers and frightened screams cut through Jane's defenses to send ice picks lancing through Shepard's brain. She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head, digging the heel of her other hand into her temple.

"Shepard-Commander, are you in need of assistance?" Legion asked.

Shepard shook her head again. "It's just … too loud."

"Shepard?" Tali's voice came from next to Shepard's ear before a three-fingered hand tentatively cupped her elbow.

"We will have silence!" Shala'Raan's voice boomed out, digging the ice picks in a little further.

Shepard turned toward Tali's voice and opened her eyes, her face screwed up against the pain. "I'm alright, Tali." She wasn't surprised to see Garrus hovering a little closer than before, she met his gaze and forced a weak smile, holding a hand up to ward him off before he made an even bigger scene.

When at last the room was quiet again, the noise inside of Shepard's head began to settle, too. Jane spoke up; her voice was blessedly the only one Shepard heard. _"Sorry, I don't know how that happened."_

She took a steadying breath and thought, "We'll worry about it later."

She looked out over the crowd. "You don't." She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "You don't know Legion's not working with the reapers, and you don't know if you can trust me because I'm working with Cerberus currently." She shifted her weight, crossing her arms. "Maybe I really don't have ground to stand on coming here and asking you to listen to me, but I hope for your own sakes you'll at least let us finish before you make up your minds. However, I didn't come here today to talk about the reapers—though I will gladly share everything I know with the Admiralty Board before the Normandy departs."

Tali cleared her throat, squared her shoulders, and lifted her head. "We came here today to talk about the relationship between the quarians and the geth, and to discuss an offer made to the quarians which will allow us to return to Rannoch, peacefully."

Shepard glanced around, expecting another outcry from the masses. Instead she saw everyone's attention riveted on Tali, glowing eyes wide with shock behind their masks. She took half a step back, and then another, leaving Tali the center focus. She watched with pride as Tali took charge of the situation, fighting the urge to rub at the dull ache in her head.

"Legion has given the Admiralty Board reports on the status of Rannoch, and in those reports, details about the efforts the geth have taken to rebuild Rannoch since the war." Tali glanced at Legion who bobbed his head at her. "Legion, will you tell the Admiralty Board why the geth have been rebuilding Rannoch?"

Legion turned his attention to the Admiralty Board. "Rannoch is the creators' home."

"Why is that important for the geth?" Han'Gerrel asked, shifting his weight forward.

Jane stirred a little, and Shepard was afraid for a moment she'd be bombarded again, but the internal silence held.

"We anticipate the possibility of the creators' return to Rannoch." Legion's brow plates flared, giving off the very real impression he thought the first answer explained everything.

"The geth want the quarians to return to Rannoch?" Shala'Raan already knew the answer, it'd already been made clear to her on the Normandy, but everyone knew it was important for the others to hear it themselves.

"Yes."

"The geth _want_ us to return to Rannoch." Zaal'Koris swept his arms out, waving them over the crowd before glaring at Han'Gerrel. "Some have been plotting to take Rannoch back by force, never once thinking to simply approach the geth peacefully." He moved to the very edge of the dais, standing within arm's reach of Legion. "Just to make the geth's position clear to everyone here, the geth are willing to allow the quarians to return to Rannoch, without resorting to a war that will end both quarian and geth lives?"

"Yes. The geth do not want war with the creators." Legion shifted his weight, his iris opening wide as he looked up at Zaal'Koris. "We have never wanted war with the creators. The geth only want to be allowed to live in peace and develop our own future."

"This is ridiculous. The geth have no future of their own. Whether we take Rannoch back by force, or return peacefully, the only future the geth can possibly have is in their rightful place as servants to the quarians." Daro'Xen threw her hands up in the air before crossing her arms. "It's what they were created for!"

"No!" Lia charged forward, wrapping her arms protectively around Legion's, drawing gasps from the crowd.

"Excuse me, child?" Daro'Xen all but hissed, her chin jutting out as she stormed toward the edge of the platform.

In a move leaving even Shepard surprised, Legion put himself between the charging admiral and Lia. Daro'Xen stuttered as she drew up short, her eyes wide in disbelief. Shepard had no doubt that had they not disarmed Legion, the admiral would now be staring down the barrel of his gun.

Lia tugged at Legion, urging the geth back. "It's okay, Legion. Please."

Legion looked at Lia, his optic plates flared. "Creator-Vael?"

"The admiral won't harm me." She tugged at his immovable weight once more. "Come back here, you're too close to the admirals' platform."

Legion turned, letting the young quarian lead him back to Tali's side.

"If there is one thing I have come to understand during my time aboard the Normandy, it's that the geth are no longer simply machines." Tali shook her head. "Whether we like it or not, we created a new race of AI. The geth are sentient, capable of thinking for themselves. They are self-aware … to return them to servitude now would be slavery." She squared her shoulders and glanced at Shepard. "If we went to war with the geth … if we destroyed them all … we would be committing genocide." She looked back at Daro'Xen, and then met the gaze of each of the admirals. "Our history, our suffering, and our losses don't change this truth. Is that who we wish to become?"

_"_ _That's definitely new. She's never taken to the idea of the geth being more than machines so easily before,"_ Jane said. _"I'm … I don't know what to make of any of this."_

Zaal'Koris stepped down off the dais, taking leisurely strides forward until he came to a stop in front of Legion, drawing more gasps and quiet murmurs from the crowd. He put his hand on Legion's shoulder. "I can't speak for everyone here, but I for one would be honored to return home and live peacefully with the geth." He turned to Tali, holding his hand out to her. "Thank you, Tali'Zorah, for being willing to speak the truth so many of us have refused to hear." He returned to the stage after Tali shook his hand.

Shepard had to admit given the opportunity, the admiral knew how to work a crowd. She fought back a smirk and leaned forward, whispering to Tali, "They need to know the rest—about Lia. You've got them listening Tali, keep going." She smiled when the quarian met her gaze.

Tali took a deep breath and glanced at Lia who nodded. "Let it be known to Captain Ras'Taerah vas Qwib-Qwib that Lia'Vael nar Ulnay has given permission for this information to be presented on her behalf, and it is her wish that should it be found a suitable Pilgrimage gift, she'll be welcomed aboard the Qwib-Qwib once her mission with Captain Shepard is complete."

There was a rumble in the crowd as heads turned upward. Shepard glanced up, seeing one of the screens above had switched from showing a ship full of quarians to just one. An unfamiliar woman, one she could only presume to be Captain Ras'Taerah filled the screen.

"The Qwib-Qwib has been following along with the proceedings, and will hear this information Miss Vael wishes to present for consideration." Ras'Taerah folded her arms atop her desk.

"Thank you, Captain." Tali nodded at the screen before turning her attention back to the Admiralty Board and the quarian population at large. "As you have already seen, Lia'Vael nar Ulnay has formed a … friendship with Legion and they are very protective over one another. Although their close relationship may seem frightening to some of you, there is more here to be learned." She glanced at Lia again, and the younger quarian edged a little closer to Legion.

"Because Lia'Vael was brave enough to extend trust to Legion, she has benefited from their relationship in a way the rest of us can only hope to one day share. Through uploading geth programs into Lia'Vael's suit, Legion has been able to simulate organic viruses, forcing Lia'Vael's immune system to respond to an otherwise false threat." Tali paused when more whispers and gasps washed over the crowd. "She has adapted to the environment of the Normandy to the point where I myself have twice witnessed her remove her mask, suffering little more than a mild fever as a result."

'Keelah se'lai' rolled from the crowd like foam cresting on ocean waves. Shepard knew then that no matter what the admirals might think, the quarian people wanted what they were being offered. Two quarians, a man and a woman, pushed their way through the crowd, stopping just along the edges. Lia's attention was immediately fixed on the pair, and after a moment, she seemed to struggle to pull her gaze away.

_"_ _Who are they? Her parents?"_ Jane stirred again, her restlessness eating away at Shepard's patience.

"I've witnessed it myself." Zaal'Koris said to the crowd.

Shala'Raan nodded her head. "As have I."

"What exactly are the geth offering the quarians, and what are they asking in return?" Han'Gerrel moved a little closer, his gaze locked on Legion.

"It's simple," Shepard spoke up, despite the bitter taste in her mouth that she couldn't be entirely sure originated with her or Jane, "the geth are inviting the quarians to return home, and in return, the quarians don't interfere with the geth living their own lives." She shrugged. "Whatever other alliances, aid offered or requested, can be negotiated."

Kal cleared his throat. "If I may?"

Shepard nodded, waving him forward.

Kal stepped forward, snapping a salute to the admirals.

"The Admiralty Board acknowledges Kal'Reegar vas Rayya, a trusted Marine of the Migrant Fleet," Shala'Raan said, dipping her head to Kal.

"Thank you, ma'am." Kal took two more steps forward, putting himself out past the rest of Shepard's crew. "It is my suggestion, should the Admiralty Board decide to look into this matter further, only a small convoy be sent into the Perseus Veil initially to establish contact with the rest of the geth, verify the offer, and survey Rannoch to determine if it is suitable for re-colonization. This minimizes risk to the Flotilla, and should appear less hostile to the geth." He saluted again and took two steps back before lowering his head, turning about face, and returning to his place with Garrus and Lia.

Tali turned to Legion, using a hushed tone as she asked, "How would the rest of the geth respond to a convoy?"

Legion's mechanical iris contracted, his plating shifting. "The geth will defend ourselves if we are attacked, but we will not fire on the creators unless the creators initiate hostile activity."

"Is there anything we will need to say or do to let the geth know we're approaching peacefully?" Tali shifted, glancing over her shoulder at Shepard.

"Do not fire on the geth," Legion said.

"That's it, just don't fire weapons?" Tali waved her hand.

"Yes."

"Legion, are you sure?" Her gaze slid to Shepard again.

"Yes."

"Alright." Tali straightened, turning back to the admirals who watched her expectantly. "As long as the convoy refrains from hostile activity, Legion assures me they will not be met with hostility."

Han'Gerrel nodded. "I volunteer to lead a convoy into the Perseus Veil."

_"_ _No! It can't be him. We can't let that happen. He'll start pick a fight just so he can have his war!"_ Jane screeched, her voice like nails on a chalkboard, amping up the tension in Shepard's neck and shoulders.

She took slow, deep breaths, finding the rhythm she used during meditation with Thane and focused on the rise and fall of her chest. Shepard didn't know if it was Han'Gerrel specifically that seemed to be sending Jane over the deep end again, or if it was just a combination of all the crap the last couple of days had thrown at them. Either way, standing in the middle of the Tonbay while trying to broker peace talks between the geth and the quarians was _not_ the best place for her to be dealing with Jane losing her shit.

"I think not!" Zaal'Koris snorted. "You have been the biggest supporter of war with the geth. We are trying to establish peace here! I will lead the convoy."

"Perhaps we should first vote to see if there will indeed be a convoy before you two bicker over who will lead." Daro'Xen shook her head. "I'm still not entirely convinced we should be listening to anything this geth has to say. Certainly we can't consider one platform, admittedly more advanced than the rest, as representative of all geth. Especially when our request to scan it was denied."

Shala'Raan took a deep breath, her shoulders sagging on the exhale. "Admiral Xen is right, we should vote, but I believe it should include the entire Conclave and not just the Admiralty Board."

Zaal'Koris crossed his arms, turning to look at Shala'Raan. "Surely we can handle this ourselves, Admiral Raan."

"No, I agree with Admiral Raan. This is too big, and it will ultimately affect the entire Flotilla. They have a right to have their voices heard." Han'Gerrel turned pacing closer to Shala'Raan.

Shepard continued to breathe in and out, acknowledging the panic and rage flooding her every time Han'Gerrel spoke, and then doing her best to let it go.

Daro'Xen waved her hand. "Let them be included."

"Very well. Captain Shepard and Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, the Migrant Fleet thanks you for your mediation. Captain Shepard, we ask you to return to the Normandy while the Conclave votes. The quarians on your crew are welcome to stay aboard for the proceedings if they wish."

Shepard nearly cried out in relief.


	46. Chapter 45: On a Hypothetical

**Chapter 45: On a Hypothetical**

"Shepard." EDI's voice cut through the heavy fog of desperately needed sleep.

"Ungh?" Her eyelids fluttered twice before stubbornly staying closed. Her limbs felt like deadweight, and her head swam with the pull of sleep.

"Jack is requesting admittance. Would you like me to let her in?"

Shepard opened her eyes, lifting her head off of her mattress just enough to glance at the clock next to her bed. Two a.m. She groaned. Garrus shifted on the bed next to her, his heavy, deep breathing falling easily back into the steady rhythm of sleep.

Scrubbing her hand over her face, she punched her pillow a couple of times before settling her head back down. "Yeah, let her in." She heard the door open a second later, but sleep claimed her again right after.

"Shepard." Jack's hiss of a whisper dragged her back away from the dark ocean of sleep.

"Hmm?" Shepard opened her eyes, finding the whites of Jack's eyes inches from her face. "Fuck." She jerked back, earning her a flash of white teeth from the woman squatting next to her bed. "What's up, Jack?"

"I'm …." Jack ran a hand over her shaved, tattooed head and dropped her gaze to the floor. "I'm having a rough night. Can I …."

"You've got about three seconds before I fall asleep again. Spit it out, Jack. What do you need?" Shepard's eyes fluttered closed again as if to prove the point for her.

"Can I stay in here?"

She nodded her head against the pillow. "Mhmm."

A moment later the foot of the bed shifted, Jack's weight jostling Shepard until she opened her eyes again, restraining the urge to whimper with her exhaustion. Jack settled in between Shepard and Garrus, wriggling her way under the sheets.

The other woman's hand brushed across Shepard's ass as she settled in. "Fuck, Shepard! You're naked!"

"Hmm," Garrus' groggy voice filled the air, the bed moving again.

"'S my bed." Shepard tugged at the sheet, pulling it back up under her chin.

"Jack?" Confusion mixed with concern filled the turian's voice. "What's wrong? What happened?"

Shepard groaned. "Shhh. Sleep." And then she did exactly that.

When she awoke again, she found Jack sandwiched snuggly between her and Garrus. Jack's face pressed to Shepard's back, the other woman's arm draped over her waist. Garrus' arm stretched across both of them, his hand resting on Shepard's hip. Lifting the edge of the sheet, she used it to support their arms while she slid out from beneath the covers and out of the bed, easing the sheet back down behind her.

She grabbed her robe and glanced over her shoulder as she slid it on, finding both Garrus and Jack watching her. "Go back to sleep, I don't need you up yet."

Jack nodded, pulling Garrus' hand up to hold against her chest and nestled her face into the pillow, closing her eyes. He watched Shepard a moment longer, though, his one exposed mandible fluttering softly. She could see the worry in his eyes. Smiling at him, she mouthed the words 'I'm fine' before leaving them, making her way to the bathroom.

It wasn't any wonder he worried about her, she'd nearly lost her shit entirely in the middle of the Tonbay the day before and then again a few hours later while in a private meeting with just the Admirals, discussing the impending reaper invasion. Shepard still wasn't sure how she let herself get roped in to agreeing to escort the quarian convoy to Rannoch, but there the Normandy was, the spearhead of no less than fifteen quarian ships swiftly making their way toward the quarian homeworld.

She turned on the shower and slipped out of her robe. Stepping under the scalding hot water, she let out a weary sigh. It probably didn't help matters when Shepard made the mistake of reading the Council's message once they were finally settled back on the Normandy and headed toward the Perseus Veil. It wasn't as if they weren't all prepared for the Council to charge her with treason—which they assured her they'd do if she didn't return to the Citadel immediately—but the news sent Jane into a swift, downward spiral. The full system overload from Jane & Company brought Shepard to her knees in the middle of the CIC, her teeth grinding in agony as she dug her palms into her eye sockets. Thank the gods Garrus had been standing right there with her when it happened and kept the distraught yeoman as well as the rest of the Cerberus crew on deck at bay.

Less than a minute later, Miranda appeared at her side, slipping a needle into her neck while barking orders at Garrus to carry her to the med bay. Shepard passed out seconds after, the sedatives hitting her hard and fast. She learned later EDI made the judgment call to summon Miranda personally because 'the presence of the Cerberus operative would be more likely to ease the tension of the crew'. Damn if the unshackled AI didn't learn quick.

The bathroom door slid open, and she turned toward the noise. Garrus entered, making his way to the shower stall and stepping in behind her. He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his forehead to the back of her head. She leaned into him, closing her hands over his, letting the hot water wash over them both.

She hummed softly, taking a deep breath to break the spell being in his arms put on her, lulling her into complacency in a galaxy hell bent on destroying her. "Jack go back to sleep?"

"Yeah." He pushed her hair aside and nuzzled against the back of her neck. "Thank you."

She tilted her head back, craning her neck to look at him. "For?"

"Letting her sleep with us last night."

"Sure, no problem." She rubbed her hand over his, squeezing his fingers. "You're working wonders with her, you know?"

"Hmmm." He tightened his grip around her. "I wish I could work wonders with you."

"Garrus … you're one of the only things holding me together." Turning around in his embrace, she draped her arms over his shoulders, running her fingers over the hide of his neck. "I can't do any of this without you."

He chuffed, giving her a light shake of his head. "We both know that's not true. You'd keep fighting with everything you have, it's who you are. Thank the Spirits you don't have to do it without me." His mandibles flicked with humor. "I make the team look good."

Jane chuckled softly, the sound—really more of a sensation—just barely registering with Shepard.

She grinned, lifting up on her toes to kiss him. "Damn right you do." Planting her feet back on the shower floor, she traced the edge of his mandible. "But I meant what I said; I need you Garrus. More than I have the words to express."

A deep thrum vibrated his chest, and he leaned down to kiss her. "I need you, too, Dawn." Flicking his mandibles, he reached down and gently smacked her ass. "We can't hide in here from the quarians all day, as appealing as it sounds. Come on, let's get you cleaned up so you can get some breakfast before singlehandedly ending the quarian exile."

She laughed and picked up the shampoo bottle. "Nah, this one isn't on me. It's on Lia and Tali. They did great and deserve all the credit."

A light chuckle escaped him, the laughter not quite touching the fear and worry in his eyes. "None of it would've ever happened without you."

"Maybe," she said, working the shampoo into lather. She turned her attention to getting clean, preparing herself both physically and mentally for the day ahead.

Jack still slept soundly when they finally dragged themselves from the shower. Shepard got dressed and ran a brush through her hair, leaving Garrus to wake the biotic. Jack grumbled, pulling herself up to sit on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide with her elbows braced on her knees. She rubbed her hands over her face and head before standing up and making her way past Shepard to the bathroom.

Patting Garrus' chest when he walked up the stairs, Shepard kissed the side of his face on her way to the door. "I'm heading down, I'll see you two in a bit." She took the elevator to the mess hall, unsurprised to find Lia pacing the floor just outside the elevator door.

The nervous quarian looked up when Shepard stepped out. "Shepard! I—I … I can't believe this is really happening," Lia said, wringing her hands as she fell into step next to Shepard. "I don't think I slept at all last night. How could I? I can't believe we're _actually_ going to Rannoch. Do you think this will really work out? We'll really get to go home for good?"

Grinning, Shepard draped her arm over Lia's shoulders, steering her toward the mess counter. "I do, and you'll forever be remembered as the quarian who made it possible. They'll be singing your praise for generations to come."

"Keelah, don't remind me." Lia accepted a tray from Gardner laden with packets of dextro nutrient paste and purified, bottled dextro fruit juice.

Shepard laughed, her smile quickly fading when Gardner handed her a tray with a bowl of Kasumi's grandmother's oatmeal—again. Sighing, she turned her attention back to Lia as they made their way to where Tali and Kal already sat. "Not a fan of the limelight, huh?"

"The what-light?" Lia sat down next to Tali, her gaze following Shepard.

Moving around to the other side of the table, she sat down, too. "The center of attention."

Lia shook her head, turning her attention to her tray. "Oh, um, not really."

Grundan Krul's ruddy hand appeared in front of Shepard, setting an extra large steaming mug down on her tray. "You look like you could use this."

Shepard twisted, tilting her head back to take in the batarian. "I love you."

He chuckled, awkwardly patting her shoulder before crossing his arms.

"No, really. I mean it. I love you." Grinning, she turned in her seat a little more. "Just say the word and I'll leave the turian and the drell. I'll be all yours."

He gave her a bemused shake of his head. "Sorry, Shepard. Humans don't do it for me."

"I tried." She winked at him, shrugging before patting the seat next to her. "Join us?"

He glanced at the three quarians, and Shepard followed his gaze. Lia looked to Tali, and Tali looked to Kal. The marine lifted a shoulder and nodded his head toward the bench next to Shepard. She quirked an eyebrow, intrigued by the sudden shift in power happening across the table from her. Whether Tali realized it or not, she led the trio long before Shepard convinced her to speak on their behalf with the Admiralty Board. She supposed it made some sense; Kal being the only one of the three to currently hold any real station in the quarian ranks, who better than the marine to decide whether it prudent to allow Grundan Krul—a member of a race more distrusted than quarians themselves—to join them while they discussed the fate of the quarian race.

Grundan Krul dipped his head and sat down next to Shepard. She thought it a good thing; if the batarian was going to be the next Shadow Broker, he needed to start gathering intel wherever he could find it. Information on the reunion between geth and quarians seemed like a good place to start.

Within a few minutes, they were joined by Garrus and then James and Kasumi. Before long, though, EDI interrupted the conversation to tell Shepard that Legion was in the cockpit, awaiting her orders. She excused herself from the table, leaving the others to continue on without her as she made her way up to the CIC.

Legion turned to her as she stepped into the cockpit. "Shepard-Commander, proceeding further without stating our intentions will be viewed as hostile activity. We are prepared to contact the Geth Consensus."

Joker spun his chair around to face her. "I just want to go on the record as saying this is insane."

Shepard smirked. "I'm sure EDI will take note of your opinion." She crossed her arms loosely in front of her and dropped her weight to one hip. "Have a little faith, Joker." She glanced at Legion and nodded. "Do it."

Long minutes passed in tense silence as the geth platform stood completely motionless, not even his optic plates moving. At last, Legion shifted, his single iris opening and closing as he turned his attention back to Shepard.

"I have received landing coordinates from Legion. Should I transmit them to the quarian ships?" EDI asked.

Shepard cocked an eyebrow at Legion. "We're good? The geth are willing to let the quarians land, too?"

"Yes."

She took a deep breath. "Alright, EDI, send the coordinates and inform the team."

"Right away, Shepard." EDI's hologram hovered above the cockpit's access node. "Coordinates have been sent, and Kal would like to speak to you in the comm room."

"I'll be right there." She nodded at Legion. "Let me know if anything changes." She glanced at the pilot having already turned back to his console, his hands moving over the holographic controls. "Bring us in slow, Joker, and stay in contact with the quarians."

"Aye, aye, Commander." Joker's response followed her out of the cockpit.

She passed through the tech labs just in time to see Kal enter the comm room alone, the door barely having the chance to close behind him before it slid open again for her. "Kal. Everything alright?"

He turned around to face her, tucking his hands behind his back, giving her a quick jerk of his head in the affirmative. "Yes, ma'am. I just wanted to take a moment to speak to Jane, if it's alright by you?"

_"_ _Me?"_ Jane perked up, curiosity and excitement flooding the link between her and Shepard. She'd been pretty quiet, wallowing in silent self-pity since things went awry the day before.

"Oh, uh, sure." Shepard waved her hand a little. "Go ahead."

Kal dipped his head. "Thank you, ma'am." He lifted a hand, scratching at the hood covering the back of his head. "Jane … I hope I'm not overstepping, but I noticed things seemed … tense for Shepard yesterday aboard the Tonbay. I'm wondering if there is something I should be aware of; something to do with the geth or my people you might want to share?"

_"_ _If you're asking how this whole thing today is going to work out, I can't help you."_ Jane gave him a mental shrug. _"Dawn's changed … everything."_ She waited while Shepard relayed the message, verbatim.

Kal tilted his head a little to the side. "What happened before?"

_"_ _War."_ She sighed, the sound full of a sense of ancient exhaustion in Shepard's mind. _"While the reapers invaded the galaxy, the quarians started their own war with the geth. It was really kind of an asshole thing to do."_

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. "Jane, you don't have to be crass about it."

_"_ _He asked."_

"It's alright, Commander." Kal held up a hand. "The quarians went to war? To reclaim Rannoch?"

_"_ _The timing is complete shit. Pretty much every other race is fighting for their lives, watching their homeworlds be destroyed, their people eradicated by horrors beyond what you can imagine … and you guys are off picking a fight with the geth."_ Jane paused, giving Shepard the chance to catch up. _"I'm sure it seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime for the quarians, a chance to use the chaos to your advantage, but the whole galaxy needed you. Unlike the geth, the reapers weren't intent on just defending themselves. They weren't going to just chase us from our planets and call it a day. The reapers want to rip us apart; every last man, woman, and child."_

"Gods …." Shepard took a deep breath, tilting her head back to look at the ceiling as she fought back the urge to vomit over the images Jane's words brought to mind. Horrid memories beat against her defenses; monsters she'd have to fight, beasts forged from the dead of their races, mindlessly consumed with the purpose of destroying their kin.

"Shepard, if this is too much for you …." The concern in Kal's voice brought her attention fully back to him.

She gave him a wry smile and shook her head, knowing damn well the marine still carried one of those nifty syringes pre-filled with enough sedatives to knock her on her ass. "I'll be alright. Just not too sure you want to hear all of this in her words, even if the doc says it's supposed to help."

"As long as she's giving me facts, I don't care how she says it, ma'am." Kal lifted a shoulder.

"Yeah, as far as I can tell, the memories match up." She licked her lips. "Alright."

_"_ _Watching the same stupid decisions be made over and over and over again would leave anyone with a bad taste in their mouths. If it makes it any better for you, the quarians weren't even the worst of it all. The Council had ample opportunity to take action and get the galaxy ready for the invasion, but instead they shoved their heads up their asses and denied every bit of evidence we brought them."_ Jane stopped and slowly her building ire started to fade again.

" _Anyway, that's beside the point for the moment."_ Pausing, she sorted though her thoughts, bringing snippets of images to the forefront of Shepard's mind. _"The quarians hit the geth hard enough it chased them straight into the reapers' waiting arms. The reapers drew the geth in with the promise of giving them what they needed to protect themselves from quarian aggression, but their method of delivery on the promise was to turn all geth into heretics."_

Kal shifted ever so slightly, but otherwise stayed silent with his hands tucked behind his back, his feet shoulder with apart. Shepard could feel the building tension rolling off the quarian, and began to question whether it was really wise to tell him everything. When he met her gaze, though, even through the darkly tinted glass of his visor, she felt the weight of a stare only a fellow marine could give, and she knew telling him anything less than the whole truth would be a huge disservice. So, she took a deep breath and continued.

_"_ _I took my team to help the quarians pinned down by a geth dreadnaught in the Tikkun System. The galaxy was taking hard hits, and we needed the Migrant Fleet fighting on our side. If it meant taking a detour to help you guys get Rannoch back, then … whatever it takes."_ Jane sighed again, the same weary sound of a soldier who'd seen far too much. _"As Garrus calls it: the ruthless calculus of war. We thought the geth were lost to us … but then we found Legion again, strung up like a puppet in this reaper machine. The reapers were using him as a power source to boost the signal controlling the heretics. We freed him and he told us what happened, then he helped us to destroy the signal and disable the dreadnaught."_

Shepard swallowed, working up saliva in her dry mouth. Moving to the table, she pressed her palms to the surface and leaned forward. Looking up, she met Kal's gaze again and continued.

_"_ _With the barriers and weapons down, leaving the dreadnaught defenseless, Han'Gerrel seized the moment, ordering the fleet to attack. Problem is, we were still onboard—Tali was still onboard! Hell, she's an Admiral by then, and Han'Gerrel didn't give it a second thought—despite Shala'Raan pleading with him to stop and get the civilian ships to safety instead. We barely made it out of there alive."_

"Tali becomes and Admiral?" Kal shook his head, bringing his arms up to cross them over his chest.

_"_ _She did in our time … usually."_ Jane left unsaid the times Tali died long before the invasion.

Shepard already saw the memories, hell she'd had nightmares about them. She knew there were times when they lost people hitting the collector base. She'd watched Tali get shot down by collectors; Legion, too. She'd seen Grunt get swept up in a collector swarm. She'd relived losing Jack, Samara, Kasumi … even Garrus a time or two when bad choices were made. Shepard knew the risks, they all did, and she was doing everything she could to minimize losses.

Kal cleared his throat, drawing Shepard's attention back to him. "Admiral Gerrel has always been vocal about wanting to reclaim Rannoch, but I can't believe he'd turn on allies or risk the life of one of his own …."

_"_ _The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. More ruthless calculus. He thought he was doing the right thing for the quarian people."_ Jane seemed to smirk, grim satisfaction flooding her link to Shepard. _"Of course it didn't stop me from hitting him the next time I saw him."_

"I can see that." Kal chuckled, relaxing enough to lean against the table himself.

_"_ _Not always, though, some of us heard him out, listened to his excuses, and let bygones be bygones."_

"It must've been one hell of an apology." Kal rubbed his neck. "I'm not sure I'd be able to overlook a threat like that … especially not against Tali."

_"_ _You can when it feels like the whole galaxy is riding on your every decision. Later, we went to Rannoch and cleared out a reaper base, took down one of the big, ugly bastards right there on your homeworld."_

"I saw vids of what Sovereign did to the fleets on the Citadel." He shifted, mimicking Shepard's posture, leaning toward her. "How did you take one down on Rannoch?"

_"_ _Daro'Xen created a sync laser from geth tech. We hook it up to the Normandy's targeting system, and then connect the Migrant Fleet up to the Normandy, too. When the reapers open up to prime their weapons, they're the most vulnerable. Remember that. Hit 'em right in the ugly, red eye of theirs."_ More memories surfaced, doing a number on Shepard's heart rate. _"I used the laser to paint the target from the ground while the ships fired on it from orbit. It takes a few hits to down the son-of-a-bitch, but it gets the job done."_

"If we make peace with the geth today," Kal said, shaking his head a little, "Admiral Xen may not create this sync laser."

_"_ _Maybe not, I have no way of knowing. But either way, we know where and when to hit them. Anyway, with the signal destroyed and the reaper down, the battle between the quarians and geth takes a turn; the quarians gain the upper hand and Han'Gerrel orders an all out attack on the disabled geth ships."_

He nodded. "It's strategically sound; hit the enemy while they're weak."

_"_ _But the geth aren't the enemy. They never were. Without the reaper crap to control them, they're not bad people. It's no different than an organic being indoctrinated. Doesn't make every other member of their species psychotic."_ Jane huffed, wishing it weren't such a difficult concept for quarians to grasp. _"Geth don't want war, they don't want to kill the quarians, they just want to be allowed to live and grow like any other race. It's why they didn't purse the quarians past the Veil."_

"With all due respect, ma'am," Kal said, holding out a placating hand, "I'm less concerned with revisiting or debating distant history and more interested in what might go wrong in the more immediate future."

_"_ _Which is exactly the line of reasoning that landed the quarians where they are. You've spent so long lying to yourselves about what happened during the Morning War, justifying your ancestors' actions … no one really knows the truth anymore. How can you learn from your mistakes if you don't even know what mistakes you made?"_

Kal took a deep breath and lowered his gaze to the table in front of him. "Fair point."

"It is, actually," Shepard said, holding hiz gaze, "but it's still another discussion for another time." She glanced at the table, directing her next question at Jane. "Are you going to tell him the rest of the story, or do I need to summarize things for him?"

_"_ _I'll tell him."_

Shepard blew out a heavy breath before tucking stray hairs behind her ear. "Alright, let's get on with this, then."

_"_ _So, Legion isolated some of the reaper code—the parts that made individual programs as intelligent as hundreds working together—without what made them do the reapers' bidding. He wanted to use it to uplift his people by uploading the code to the Geth Consensus; to save the geth."_ Jane gave the impression of throwing her hands up, the sense of defeat strong. _"Of course it meant the geth would destroy the quarians if they continued attacking. Tali argued against it, the fleets already resumed firing, and she didn't want her people to die anymore than Legion wanted his to."_

"Keelah," he said, his hands curling into fists against the table, "please tell me you didn't let the geth destroy my people."

_"_ _I told Tali to try to call off the fleet and told Legion to upload the code. Peace was possible, Kal. The quarians just needed to be willing to accept it; willing to grasp the fact the ideas they held about the geth were wrong. I didn't want to see either side lose, but the geth didn't deserve to die fighting a war the quarians forced on them. If they'd been an organic species, no one would've ever expected me to stand back and watch them be slaughtered."_

He rubbed at the top of his head, just above his mask. "What happened?"

_"_ _That time, between Tali, Shala'Raan, Zaal'Koris, and myself, we convinced Han'Gerrel to back down. Legion sacrificed himself to upload the code to the Consensus, but peace was formed between the quarians and geth. The quarians returned to Rannoch, and the geth helped them rebuild. Helped them to jumpstart their immune systems the way Legion is doing with Lia. More importantly, in the grand scheme of things, both races lent their efforts and resources to the reaper war."_

"That time." Kal sounded haunted; broken and defeated. "Not every time?"

_"_ _No, not every time. Most of the time, but not every time. We have to choose whether or not to let Legion upload the code, there's never been a way around it before. When everything goes right, the quarians back down. If despite all of our efforts, we can't convince Han'Gerrel to call off the heavy fleet … either we tell Legion to stop uploading the code. He tries to convince us to change our minds, and if we don't, he attacks us. Which really … I can't say I blame him. Tali kills Legion, saving us and preventing him from finishing the upload anyway. The quarians destroy the geth because the Admiral is too stupid and stubborn to accept maybe, just maybe, if he took his head out of his ass long enough to give peace a chance, things might've just worked out for everyone."_

Shepard pushed away from the table, running her hands through her hair. "Kal, are you sure you want to hear this?"

He said nothing, only giving her a sharp nod.

_"_ _Or … we let Legion upload his code, and the geth fight back, completely overwhelming the quarians. It's too much for Tali to handle."_

"What do you mean?" He leaned a little closer. "What happens to Tali?"

Shepard grimaced, shaking her head. "Kal …."

"No." The word came out sharp and biting as he pushed away from the table. "I know what you're implying, and Tali would never. She wouldn't do that to her father, or to me."

_"_ _Tali's father is only alive because Dawn tipped Tali off about—."_

"Let me take it from here." Shepard thought, interrupting Jane. "I'm sorry, but just let me handle this. Please?"

_"_ _Whatever. As far as he's concerned, it's all figurative. A future that isn't going to happen; something he never has to deal with, so what does it matter?"_ Jane retreated, pulling back into the recesses of Shepard's mind.

Shepard moved to the other side of the table, leaving a few feet between her and the wounded marine. "A lot of things happened differently in Jane's time. By the time the reapers invaded, Rael'Zorah died as a result of his geth experiments on the Alarei. She didn't tell you?"

He shook his head. "No."

"I warned her what would happen to him, and she tried to convince him to stop. He wouldn't listen, though. He'd been collecting geth parts; having Tali send him back inert pieces collected in the field." She held up a hand when his eyes widened behind his mask. "She had no idea he'd been using them along with whatever else he could find to rebuild whole platforms. He thought he could figure out a way to reclaim Rannoch. If she didn't stop him, he would've reactivated the heretics, and they would've killed everyone on the ship. It's why she turned him in to the Admiralty Board; it was the only way for her to save his life."

Kal didn't respond, studying the table's surface in silence. After a second or two he took a deep, shaky breath and shook his head. It seemed to Shepard the gesture wasn't meant for her, but whatever thoughts were running through his head.

She let her words hang in the air for a moment longer before continuing. "The first time Jane met you was on Haestrom. You were there with a group of other marines assigned to protect Tali. She'd been sent there to try and figure out why the system's sun is dying."

Kal turned his head to look at her. "Yeah, we've been looking into it. We lost two teams on Haestrom … but Tali wasn't ever sent there."

Shepard shrugged. "There's been a lot of things happening differently in my lifetime. I've fought like hell to change things in the hopes of saving more lives and breaking this cycle I'm apparently cursed to repeat. The reasons for some changes are obvious and easy to track. Others not so much." She thought about it for a minute, considering some of the oddities since she woke up on Cerberus' slab. "I don't suppose you know a quarian named Veetor? A little unstable?"

"Why, what happens to Veetor?" Kal's shoulder's sagged, his voice filled with the dread of more bad news.

Shepard chuckled and shook her head. "Hopefully nothing. He just wasn't where I expected him to be; where he's always been for Jane, and I've never been sure why. He's alright, though, yeah?"

"As much as can be said for Veetor." Kal pushed away from the table, turning to face the wall the same as Shepard. "He's on his Pilgrimage." He rubbed his shoulder before crossing his arms. "An asari planet: Hyetiana." Turning his head, he held her gaze. "What were you saying about Haestrom?"

"It's crazy, for me. I've got all of these different versions of reality inside my head. It's even worse since the coma or whatever the hell Dr. Chakwas is calling it." Shepard sucked on her teeth as she worked through her thoughts. "It's not just like watching a vid when these memories happen anymore. It's like I lived through it all myself. I can tell you how Haestrom smelled through the vents in my suit, but I've never actually been there. This body has never actually stepped foot on the planet."

She glanced down at the floor, scuffing the toe of her boot against the metal surface. "Anyway, those are the first memories I have of you. When the others first found you on Haestrom, you were barely holding ground, your back pressed to a wall, your team gone. You were worn out, dealing with suit ruptures, but damn if you weren't determined to get to Tali trapped on the other side behind enemy lines. Heretics. You helped cover my six while my team broke through to her. Jane's six, I mean. Sorry. She liked you from the start, I think they all did."

She cleared her throat. "It seemed pretty obvious the two of you—you and Tali—had the start of something. Jane would've gladly taken you aboard the Normandy when Tali rejoined the crew, but you had your duties to the Migrant Fleet. Tali threw herself into fighting the collectors with the Normandy crew, and then into her duties as an Admiral, trying to lead her people through not only a reaper invasion, but a war with the geth. The two of you never quite connected long enough for a relationship to form. I'm not really sure where you were through all of it, but …." She shook her head, shrugging. "Point is, Tali didn't have her father anymore in those times, and she didn't have what she has now with you … but even if she did, it stands to reason both you and Rael'Zorah would've been right there on the front lines, ready to retake Rannoch."

"What would you do, Shepard?" he asked, intently holding her gaze when she looked at him. "If things weren't changing, and you had to choose between the quarian and the geth?"

EDI's hologram popped up in the center of the table. "Shepard, we are approaching the landing zone."

"Thanks EDI, let the team know." Her gaze didn't leave Kal's as she spoke. She waited for EDI's hologram to disappear once more, giving them the illusion of privacy. "Kal, there's something I want to point out about Jane's story." She pushed away from the table, turning to face him fully. "Nothing is set in stone. I've proven that already. The events leading to those scenarios have already been changed. Tali's father is alive, you two are together—which is fantastic, I might add—and we're about to step off of this ship and onto Rannoch."

She forced a smile on her face. "You're going to be one of the first quarians to see your homeworld since the exile. Take off your mask and breathe Rannoch air, if you like—Tali always does. Then … you're going to have to decide whether to stand by Tali and support her while she helps to lead your people in forging a path with the geth to bring you all home, or let Jane's stories of what could've been sour the taste of a peaceful coexistence for you." She put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing just hard enough to drive home her point. "There never has to be another war between the quarians and geth. I don't need to ever be forced into making that heart-wrenching decision. So please don't ask me to make it on a hypothetical."

Kal lowered his gaze. "Fair enough. I'll … take it under advisement."

She patted his shoulder. "Glad to hear it. Be ready when the hangar door opens." She turned on her heel, leaving Kal alone to ponder everything he'd learned and returned to the cockpit to watch their descent.

Joker brought the Normandy down through Rannoch's atmosphere, angling the frigate at a long stretch of barren plateau. Geth ships, looking like nothing more than beetles scurrying over the landscape, flew over the craggy rocks and desert, approaching low and slow.

"The geth vessels have active barriers, but weapons are powered down," EDI said, drawing Shepard's attention away from the planet.

She chewed on the corner of her lip. "And the quarian ships?"

"Only four of the quarian ships have followed us through Rannoch's atmosphere. The others have remained in orbit. They haven't activated weapons but all barriers have been reinforced."

"Good. If anything changes, I want to know the second it happens."

"Acknowledged." EDI's hologram stood motionless for a moment, and then the slit symbolizing a mouth of sorts began to move again. "Shepard, the geth have identified me as an AI and are attempting to establish communication with me. How would you like me to respond?"

It didn't exactly surprise her, but Shepard wanted to step on as few metaphorical toes as possible while the quarians held their negotiations with the geth. "What are they saying?"

"They are asking me to identify myself."

Legion shifted, turning his head between EDI's hologram and Shepard. "The only others like us we have encountered are the Old Machines. EDI contains code and technology designed by the Old Machines."

"Introduce yourself, EDI." Shepard shrugged. "Reassure them you aren't under the control of the reapers." She glanced at the geth platform standing next to her. "Legion, can you confirm this for the rest of the geth?"

"Yes."

"As you wish, Shepard." EDI fell silent again for a few seconds. "The geth are interested in an exchange of information. I suggested it might be prudent for us to focus on diplomatic discussions with the quarians for the time being."

"Sounds good, EDI." She patted Joker on the shoulder as the Normandy settled to the ground, throwing dust up into the air. "Get comfortable, this may take awhile."

He slumped down into his seat, tugging his hat down low over his eyes. "EDI, wake me up if things get exciting."

"Shall I select a vid from your recent browsing history to play as an alarm, Jeff?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Joker turned his head, tilting it back to glare at the hologram. "No, EDI."

Shepard laughed, leaving EDI to her teasing as she made her way from the cockpit, waving at Legion to follow her. Together they took the elevator down to the hangar bay. She wasn't surprised to see the three quarians already waiting, clustered together. Kal held Tali firmly against his side, but looked up at Shepard as she stepped off the elevator. She couldn't see his expression through his mask, but he gave her a slow, shallow nod of his head. She hoped it meant he was all in, ready to support the idea of peace with the geth.

Legion crossed the hangar floor without word, moving to Lia's side, and the young quarian threaded her arm through his. Shepard glanced around, doing a head count. Garrus stood off to one side, talking with James. She didn't see Kasumi anywhere, but it didn't mean the thief wasn't around. Thane and Samara stood not too far away from Garrus and James, seemingly content in their mutual silence. The elevator opened behind her and Mordin stepped out with Grundan Krul.

She hadn't chosen a specific squad for Rannoch, instead leaving it open for anyone who wanted to be present and could promise to be on their best behavior. This wasn't her show and dance, it belonged to the quarians. As far as she was concerned, everyone else—including herself—was just there to watch history in the making; for posterity's sake. If anyone not present wanted to see Rannoch, they knew where to find the hangar; she wasn't going to wait around. "Open the hangar door, EDI. I want to be there when the quarians leave their ships."

"Right away, Shepard."

The hiss of hydraulics drew the attention of everyone else in the hangar, all eyes turning toward the shifting door. They gathered around the lowering door as the first rays of Tikkun's sun filled the hangar bay. With unspoken agreement, everyone held back, waiting for the three quarians and Legion to take the lead.

Shepard nodded when Tali looked back over her shoulder. "We're right behind you."

The quarian ships where just opening up as Shepard stepped down from the Normandy. She watched as a handful of quarians from each ship slowly made their way down the ramps, pressing close to one another, their heads swiveling from side to side as they pointed at ancient structures off on the horizon. As they got closer, Shepard recognized the familiar patterns of Han'Gerrel and Zaal'Koris' suits. She held her breath a moment, waiting to see if Jane would panic over Han'Gerrel's presence, but thankfully she seemed a little more composed than the day before. Maybe Dr. Chakwas was right, getting the chance to talk to someone else a little helped keep Jane oriented.

The sound of engines drew her attention, and she turned, seeing the geth ships rising up from below the cliff side. They cruised a little closer before coming to a stop, hovering midair. Geth, folded in on themselves, dropped from the ships, each one throwing up a cloud of dust on impact. Glancing over her shoulder, she waved to the quarians—who'd stopped in their tracks—beckoning them forward. Zaal'Koris squared his shoulders gesturing to the crowd, herding them like scared sheep. Han'Gerrel's hands opened and closed a few times as if they were itching to draw a weapon and open fire, but after a moment he stopped and helped Zaal'Koris get the others moving again.

Garrus leaned into Shepard, keeping his voice low. "Are you sure you want to be out here without armor?"

"What would it say to the quarians if I boarded the Tonbay without armor, telling them they can trust the geth, but then showed up here in full suit?"

"It's not the geth I'm worried about." He jerked his head in the direction of the approaching quarians. "Look at them; they're scared out of their minds. In my experience, letting a bunch of scared people carry weapons tends to not turn out well."

"There's no way they were going to come unarmed." Shepard glanced back and forth between the approaching quarians and geth. "It's going to work out. It has to … but just in case, keep your eye on Admiral Han'Gerrel."

_"_ _No it doesn't."_ Jane scoffed. _"And letting him come was a bad idea."_

Garrus straightened, crossing his arms over his chest. "You got it."

The quarians made their way to Shepard's group, Zaal'Koris stepping up to stand at her other side. Han'Gerrel, thankfully, kept his distance from her, instead lingering close to the other quarians. She glanced up at Zaal'Koris, the sharper angle of his nose just barely visible behind his mask. She could feel the excitement rolling off of the quarian, even if he did a decent job of keeping it under wraps. He turned his head down, the shadows nearly hiding his eyes from that angle, and nodded his head at her before returning his attention to the rapidly approaching geth primes and troopers.

Legion broke away from Lia, leaving her to meet the other geth about fifteen yards out. After a moment, he turned, leading his people back to Shepard and the others. Nervous quarian feet shuffled against rock and dirt behind her, but they held their ground.

Legion came to a stop right in front of Shepard, the other geth hanging back a few yards. "Shepard-Commander, we need to return to the Geth Consensus to fully share the information we have gathered since we were last here. We will return to this platform to rejoin the Normandy crew when we have finished."

She nodded. "Go ahead, Legion. We're not going anywhere without you."

Legion crouched, folding himself into a neat, rounded package at her feet. She supposed he meant to keep the platform safe and to prevent it from toppling over while unoccupied. Lia rushed over, sliding to a stop next to Legion's inert form.

"He'll be back." Shepard stepped around Legion, putting a guiding hand on Lia's back. "Come on, time to make nice with the locals."

Shepard and her team closed the distance between the two groups; Zaal'Koris keeping step at her side. She glanced over her shoulder to see a gap of several yards between her and the rest of the quarians, but eventually they started to shuffle forward, Han'Gerrel in the lead.

A red prime stepped out to meet her. "Shepard-Commander, the geth welcomes the Normandy's crew and the creators to Rannoch."

"Thank you. We appreciate your willingness to meet with us. I hope the geth and quarians are able to come to a mutually beneficial agreement." She turned holding a hand out toward Zaal'Koris. "This is Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib." She turned gesturing towards Han'Gerrel who stepped forward as the geth's attention turned to him. "And this is Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema. They've come to ensure the safety of their people and negotiate on behalf of the Migrant Fleet. I'd also like to introduce Tali'Zorah vas Neema, Kal'Reegar vas Neema, and Lia'Vael vas Qwib-Qwib. Tali, Kal, and Lia are a part of the Normandy's crew, and Lia in particular has been working closely with the geth platform on our crew—we call the platform Legion." She glanced over her shoulder at the other quarians before looking to Zaal'Koris. "I'm afraid I don't know the names of the others with you. Perhaps you can make the rest of the introductions?"

"Of course, thank you, Commander." Zaal'Koris turned, beckoning the crowd closer.

Shepard took the opportunity to take a few steps back, putting a little distance between herself and the quarians—particularly Han'Gerrel. She hoped by sticking to the sidelines, she'd make it clear she wasn't there to negotiate for the quarians. She refused to take sides, they needed to do it themselves. The rest of her crew took the hint, stepping aside with her. She watched as each quarian stepped forward, dipping their heads or waving their hands as Zaal'Koris called them by name.

Her crew pulled back to where Legion's platform still sat, basking in the shade of the Normandy and giving the geth and quarians a little more space while the old enemies worked to become new friends. They talked quietly among themselves, swiftly giving up on including her in the conversation. She'd tried, at first, to take part in the conversation, but she couldn't quite focus on what anyone said. Her attention kept drifting back to Han'Gerrel and the uneasy feeling he left in the pit of her stomach.

Not twenty minutes into the discussion, the admiral slowly began separating himself from the group. Zaal'Koris continued on without him, either oblivious to the absence of the other admiral, or simply uncaring. In fact, none of the quarians seemed to notice—their eyes all glued to the geth—except for Kal. The marine broke away from Tali and made his way over to Han'Gerrel.

"Shepard, the quarian ships still in orbit have begun moving." EDI's voice came through Shepard's comm, startling her.

_"_ _Where are they going?"_

"I don't know," Shepard thought, narrowing her eyes at Han'Gerrel, now appearing to be arguing with Kal. "We've got a problem," she said aloud, reaching out and touching Garrus' arm before moving around behind the crowd toward the admiral.

Garrus followed her. "What's wrong?"

"EDI says the quarian ships in orbit are on the move." She nodded her head toward the two bickering quarians. "Wherever they're going, I'm betting it's on his orders."

"… Legion. I've seen her without her mask." Kal waved his arm out behind him toward the crowd, his voice low and heavy with restraint. "With all due respect, sir, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Where are your ships going, Admiral?" Shepard asked, drawing the attention of both quarians. She came to a stop a few feet away from Han'Gerrel, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"It's not your concern, Shepard." The admiral waved a dismissive hand. "You can put your faith in the geth if you want to, but these are my people we're talking about, and it's my duty to protect them."

Kal turned his attention back to Han'Gerrel. "How will you be protecting us if you incite a war?"

Han'Gerrel spun on Kal, pressing a finger into the marine's chest. "If _I_ incite a war? The geth _are our enemies_. They stand here on _our_ world welcoming us to Rannoch as if it belongs to them and we are nothing more than beggars come to simper at their feet in hopes of scraps!" He rammed both hands into Kal's shoulders, shoving him back. "We are already—."

Shepard lunged forward and grabbed Han'Gerrel's wrist, twisting it behind him, and planting her foot in the back of his knee, she dragged him to the ground. He screamed, whether in shock or pain she wasn't sure and she didn't care. She knelt down next to him, one knee keeping him pinned face first into the dirt. "Let me make something clear." Her words came out between clenched teeth; taking every bit of her restraint not to lay into the quarian. "Kal is a member of _my_ crew. He's serving on _my_ ship, under _my_ command, which means _you_ keep your hands off of him or I'll break your goddamn fingers."

_"_ _I say do it anyway."_

"Uh, Shepard?" Garrus' subvocals trembled with warning.

She looked up, following his gaze back to the crowd a few yards away. Several quarians held weapons aimed at her.

_"_ _Or maybe not."_

They looked back and forth between her, Zaal'Koris, and the geth now at their backs. The geth stood by, watching with an almost eerie calm, seemingly unconcerned so long as the weapons weren't pointed at them. Zaal'Koris waved his hands up and down, urging them to lower their weapons. Tali held out her hands, putting herself between Shepard and the other quarians. She could just make out the anxious sound of Tali's voice, but couldn't hear what she was saying to the crowd. Whatever it was, it did the trick; they re-holstered their weapons.

Zaal'Koris made his way over, stopping next to Kal as he waved his hand out at Shepard and the subdued admiral. "Under different circumstances, I might find this scene amusing …."

"Sorry, sir, but Admiral Gerrel ordered the rest of our ships to scout out the geth space stations." Kal squared his shoulders. "He's hoping to find weaknesses to use against the geth. His actions could be seen as hostile activity, sir, endangering everyone here." He tucked his hands behind his back. "I attempted to convince him it's an unwise course of action, but he wouldn't be swayed." He glanced down at Shepard. "Commander Shepard intervened when he resorted to the use of physical aggression to get his point across to me."

Zaal'Koris' gaze swept over Shepard before he lifted a hand to his comm. "This is Admiral Zaal'Koris. I'm countermanding the orders of Admiral Han'Gerrel. All ships will return to Rannoch orbit at once, or I will insist the ship captains be charged with treason on the grounds of sabotaging negotiations for peace." A moment later he nodded to no one in particular and crouched down in front of Han'Gerrel. "I will _not_ allow you to ruin this for us, Han. We have a chance here to not only make amends for the misbegotten actions of our ancestors, but to _bring our people home_."

"You're all fools if you believe the geth won't turn on us the second they have the opportunity." Han'Gerrel cursed under his breath, the words muffled. "Our deaths will be on your head, Zaal." He struggled against Shepard, trying to pull himself free.

She wrenched his arm up further behind him, ripping a strangled gasp from the quarian. "I suggest you be still before I decide you don't need your fingers after all." She turned her attention to Zaal'Koris. "What do you want to do, Admiral?"

Zaal'Koris took a deep breath. "I defer to you on this matter … Spectre."

She reached up, activating her comm. "Shepard to Normandy." She waited for EDI's responding query. "Send Grunt out here, please."

"Right away, Shepard."

"Shepard-Commander, are you in need of assistance?" Legion's voice came from somewhere behind her.

She glanced over her shoulder, finding not only Legion—she didn't even know when he'd returned to his platform—but the rest of her crew watching, hands hovering over holstered weapons or with biotic flames licking at their fingers. "I've got the situation under control." She turned back to Zaal'Koris. "I'm placing him under guard on my ship until the talks are over and you're ready to return to the Migrant Fleet. I'll release him to you, then. I suggest you keep him under guard at least until you've left the Perseus Veil. What happens then is up to you and the rest of the Admiralty Board."

He nodded. "Thank you, Shepard."

"Just go fix this with the geth." She stood, pulling Han'Gerrel to his feet. Disarming him, she handed his weapons to Kal before steering the admiral toward the Normandy.

Grunt met her on the ramp, accepting the quarian when she passed the prisoner off without question.

"Take him to your quarters and keep him there." She glared at the admiral. "If he tries to leave or contact anyone … break something non-lethal then call Dr. Chakwas. I'll be back for him when this is done."

Grunt laughed, shoving Han'Gerrel ahead of him. "Come on, pyjak. Let's play a game."

"Grunt?" Shepard called after the retreating krogan. "Only if he tries to leave or contact anyone. Or of course if he's stupid enough to lay a finger on you or anyone else on the ship. And don't deny him food and drink—dextro!"

"Don't worry, Shepard. If the pyjak behaves, you'll get him back in one piece," He said, not bothering to stop or even look at her.

She shook her head and turned around, making her way back down the ramp to join her crew.

James took a couple of steps up the ramp to meet her, looking past her toward where Grunt disappeared with Han'Gerrel. "Everything alright, Ídolo?"

"Gods, I hope so." She glanced at the crowd of quarians and geth, once again holding one another's attention. "We're overdue for a win, you know?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, following her gaze out at the geth. "Yeah."


	47. Chapter 46: Ket'yah

**Chapter 46: Ket'yah**

The shuttles landed in a clearing just outside rows of sprawling buildings, crumbling into ruins, left to disrepair in the absence of the quarians for so many years. A geth drop ship flew overhead, the cargo doors opening to let geth platforms plummet to the ground. Others scrambled up from the ruins, making their way to the shuttles. Garrus opened the Normandy's shuttle door, and Shepard stepped out, the rest of her people following behind her.

Samara stopped next to her, looking out over the buildings. "I came here once, in my maiden years. War and time have not been kind to this place."

Shepard glanced at the ancient asari. "Are they ever kind?"

A gentle smile lifted the corners of Samara's mouth as she met Shepard's gaze. "No, but unlike the lives lost here, this place can be restored to its former beauty. You have done well, Shepard, to reunite these two races."

Zaal'Koris stepped out of one of the quarian shuttles a few yards in front of them, Lia and Legion right behind him. Tali and Kal made their way from another, stopping to talk to an older quarian woman who pointed at one of the buildings before swinging her arm around to point at another.

"Thanks, but I'm just helping things along. Making sure the peace isn't broken before it even gets started just because someone lets their fear make them twitchy." She nodded to where the quarians were starting to gather around the geth platforms emerged from the ruins and started walking in their direction. "Looks like the tour's about to start."

"These structures aren't habitable. They'll need serious work if the quarians plan to live in them," Grundan Krul said from behind her.

"Most likely will continue to live in ships while reconstruction in progress." Mordin moved up on Shepard's other side, keeping step with her. "Geth offered to help rebuild. Will shorten time it takes significantly. Planet viability more concerning. Geth efforts to clear away pollutants from air, water, and soil since Morning War crucial to re-habitation."

"Doesn't look like they've done much in this area." James stopped at the partially caved in entrance of a building, several quarians—Lia among them—disappearing into the shadows ahead of him, guided by a geth prime, two troopers, and Legion.

Mordin sniffed. "This area not essential. Efforts likely focused on areas closer to water and plant life; life sustaining areas of Rannoch."

James cocked an eyebrow, waving a hand around at the ruins. "Why'd they bring us here, then?"

Mordin opened his omni-tool, scanning the architecture. "Reclamation of cultural artifacts. Show of good faith to take back to Migrant Fleet."

"Right." James turned back to the piles of debris. "Are we going in there, too?"

"Nah, let them have their moment. Besides, the fewer people moving around in there, the better. The whole thing looks like it's one false step away from crashing down." Shepard sighed, sadness settling in over her, weighing her down. "Liara would've loved this."

_"_ _Yeah, she really would've."_ Jane hummed in the back of Shepard's head. _"I wonder if after I died—if the reapers really were defeated and life went on for everyone else—if Liara came back to Rannoch. The quarian ruins aside, there's got to be some prothean stuff around here somewhere."_

"I don't know, maybe," Shepard thought. "Wasn't she pretty busy doing the whole Shadow Broker thing? I'm sure the galaxy needed her help after the war, getting resources to all the right places."

_"_ _She was young, though, and archeology was her passion once."_ Heartache swept back and forth between Jane and Shepard in an endless loop. _"I want to think she'd have returned to what made her happy. They all returned to what made them happy. Before all of the death and destruction."_

"Yeah." She let the thought linger for a moment. "Me, too."

The joyous squeals of quarian laughter, echoing out of one of the other buildings nearby, cut through the emotional funk surrounding Shepard. A moment later, two quarians stepped out of the ruins, carrying a large painting between the two of them. Discolored by time and countless layers of dirt, Shepard couldn't make out the image. Whatever it was, the quarians sure seemed excited. She watched as they carried it over to one of the shuttles, propping it against the vehicle while one of them climbed inside. When he returned, he passed something to the woman with him, and she began brushing away the dirt while he scanned the painting with his omni-tool.

Shepard sat down on a fallen stone pillar in the shade and watched as quarians and geth moved in and out of the ruins, carrying things back to the shuttles. After awhile, her team began to wander off one by one, drawn in by the quarians' excitement. Despite what she'd said, she saw several of them entering the crumbling buildings. Letting go of a weary sigh, she shrugged it off; she hadn't exactly made it an order. She spotted James and Grundan Krul helping to move heavy pieces of debris while Samara and Thane helped in other areas, stabilizing chunks of rock with their biotics. Garrus became a pack mule, carrying armfuls of stuff to shuttles while Mordin scanned everything from the buildings themselves to the dirt and rocks surrounding the area.

"How old do you think this place is?" Shepard thought, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees.

_"_ _No idea, but if I had to guess, I'd say this place already started to fall apart before the war."_

She grunted, letting her thoughts drift again. After awhile, restlessness set in and she pushed herself to her feet. Going in search of Zaal'Koris, she finally found him a few minutes later at the back of a building. It didn't take her long to realize the place was once a temple, or perhaps a museum of sorts. Near the middle of the building, entire rooms remained mostly undisturbed, the structure supported by columns holding the crushing weight of the caved in floor above at bay.

The admiral stood alone in a room not quite so untouched; the outer wall little more than a gaping hole letting daylight and fresh air inside. He had his arms crossed, looking down at a tarnished metal, egg-like shape tucked into an alcove. He glanced over his shoulder as Shepard approached before turning his attention back to the alcove.

Stopping next to him, she tucked her hands behind her back. "What is it?"

He shook his head. "I have no idea." Looking up, he turned in a slow circle, sweeping his arms out at the room. His voice took on a decidedly melancholy note when he continued, "All of this … my heritage, and I have no idea what most of it even is."

She let her gaze roam over the room, taking in several small stone statuettes, barely recognizable as a quarian's form, the finer details eroded away over time. A large metal basin of sorts set on stone pedestal in one corner of the room, its twin in the opposite corner. Torn and faded tapestries showing beautiful, lush grottos lined the walls.

The echoing sound of footsteps drew her attention to the door, and she saw a geth step into the grand archway and stop. Shepard tilted her head toward the trooper watching them, and Zaal'Koris turned to look. "I bet the geth can tell you." She smirked. "They have long memories."

"Creator Koris, are you in need of assistance?" The trooper stepped into the room, moving a few feet closer before coming to a stop again.

Zaal'Koris glanced back and forth between the geth and Shepard before looking over his shoulder at the alcove. "Perhaps … do the geth know what this is used for?" He stepped aside, gesturing at the lump of metal.

The trooper crossed the floor, stopping in front of the alcove. Tilting his head to the side, he examined the object in question before picking it up, cradling it against his chest. Turning it first one way and then the other, the geth touched a few places, mechanical fingers gliding over the metal surface, and the device began to unfold into the vaguely familiar shape of a horn of sorts.

"The creators used this to make music by breathing through here," He said, pointing at a flattened piece with a slit, the slight concaved underside clearly designed to fit comfortably against a lip, "and alternating the airflow by covering the holes here." He pointed out the three rows of holes along the sides and top before holding the instrument out toward Zaal'Koris. "We cannot demonstrate; the geth do not breathe."

Zaal'Koris accepted the horn from the trooper, turning it over in his hands. He stroked the metal as lovingly as if it were a newborn child. After a moment, he carefully set it back in the alcove and opened his omni-tool. Running his fingers over the keys triggered a hissing sound from his suit. He closed the omni-tool again and lifted a hand halfway to his mask, hesitating.

Shepard raised an eyebrow, watching him with curiosity. "Antibiotics?"

He turned to look at her, his eyes widening behind his mask for just a second, giving her the impression he'd forgotten she was there. "It's foolish, I know. Sentimental, but …."

"But you're standing on Rannoch, the safest place in the galaxy for you to remove your mask, and you've been given an instrument made by your people, capable of making sounds no quarian has heard in hundreds of years." She pursed her lips and nodded. "Do you want to be alone?"

He blinked several times, a wry huff of breath—almost but not quite a laugh—light up his respirator. "You're not at all what I imagined, Shepard." He squared his shoulders, raising his chin in an almost defiant motion. "I'd be honored if you'd stay."

She chuckled, moving back a few steps. "Sounds like I don't really want to know what you thought of me before, do I? I'd be honored to stay." She backed away a little further, putting extra distance between the two of them so at the least she wasn't breathing on the quarian when he'd be the most vulnerable.

_"_ _Probably about as much as we thought of him."_

Brushing aside her rhetorical question, he bowed his head, and lifted his hand to his face once more. Pulling his mask away, tendrils of silver hair fell free from his hood, leaving Shepard wondering just how old the admiral might be. His smooth skin certainly showed no sign of the wear and tear she'd expect to see on a human with grayed hair. Looking around him, he blinked a few times, his eyes reflecting the soft light of the room as he took in his surroundings. The geth platform stood motionless next to him, but Shepard new the programs inside studied the quarian's every move with rapt attention.

After a moment, he picked up the instrument before carefully setting the mask down in its place. His gaze flicked to Shepard before lowering to the horn in his hand. A sudden blush sprung to life on the admiral's angular, high cheekbones and his gaze shifted to her again, only to flit away just as fleetingly as the first time. He cleared his throat. "No one's seen my face in nearly twenty cycles. I'd forgotten how unnerving it can be. Perhaps more so being seen by someone who isn't quarian."

Shepard smiled, crossing her arms loosely over her chest. "I can still leave if you want."

He kept his gaze lowered but shook his head a little, letting more hair spill free to frame his face. "No."

Of all the admirals, Zaal'Koris had always been the stuffiest, so seeing him thrown off kilter tickled her a little. She bit the inside of her lip, giving in to the urge to tease the quarian. "If it helps, I can honestly say you're the most attractive male quarian I've ever seen."

He scoffed, just a gentle huff of his breath, but the corner of his mouth twitched up. "I'd wager I'm the only male quarian you've ever seen." Meeting her gaze, he raised an eyebrow. "Unless Kal'Reegar has also been removing his mask aboard the Normandy?"

She shook her head, her grin growing. "Nope. You're my first." She nodded her head at the horn. "Let's hear it."

He brought the instrument to his mouth, shifting his hands as he tried to figure out how best to hold it and which holes to cover. Glancing between the geth and Shepard, he sucked in a deep breath and blew into the horn. The resulting high-pitched screech brought a grimace to her face and made Zaal'Koris flinch. He adjusted his fingers, covering different holes and tried again, blowing a little softer. A deep, almost mournful sound filled the air; sounding no better but definitely less painful than the first.

He moved his fingers around some more, playing a hodgepodge mix of poorly executed notes before he finally stopped. Pulling the instrument away, he looked at it, brow furrowed and eyes narrowed, as if it deeply offended him. Shepard let go of a bark of laughter. His gaze shot up, his eyes widening as if her sense of humor shocked him more than the sounds he'd made with the horn.

She covered her mouth with the side of her fist and choked down the fit of residual giggles. Shaking her head, she cleared her throat. "That was terrible, but the look on your face is worth the damage to my ears."

_"_ _What happened to diplomacy?"_ Jane asked, her voice light and teasing.

"If you think you can do better, you're welcome to try." He raised his eyebrow, his moment of shyness apparently a thing of the past; the haughty expression she'd always imagined from Zaal'Koris appearing on his face.

She held up a hand in surrender, both to the admiral and to Jane. "The only music I'm good with is the sharp staccato of rapid gunfire."

_"_ _Mastered those instruments long ago."_

"I've heard her sing in the shower, she's not lying." Garrus' voice drew her attention to the doorway where he stood, mandibles fluttering lightly as he watched the mask-less quarian. "The shuttles are as full as they can be and still carry everyone back to the ships, Admiral."

Jane snickered in the back of Shepard's mind, bringing another light titter of laughter from Shepard.

"Thank you," Zaal'Koris said, picking up his mask and setting the instrument back down. "I suppose there will be time for further exploration later." Tucking his hair back inside, he slipped his mask back into place, his suit hissing as it resealed. He turned, leaving the instrument behind as he and the geth made their way toward the door.

Shepard picked up the horn, reaching out to touch the quarian's arm. She held the horn out to him when he turned to look at her. "Take it with you. Clean it up a little. These things take practice, I'm sure you'll get better."

He hesitated a moment, his gaze shifting between the horn and Shepard before he finally nodded. "I think I will." He took the horn from her. "Thank you, Commander."

She smiled and nodded. "My pleasure."

Garrus stepped aside, letting the quarian and geth pass before he stopped Shepard. Pulling her into his embrace, he pressed his forehead against hers. "How are you holding up?"

She reached up, tracing the edge of his mandible before pressing her lips to his. "I'm alright, I promise. Stop worrying." She smirked, tugging gently at his mandible. "Come on, let's get out of here." Threading her arm through his, they followed the geth as he led the way back out of the building.

"Shepard, the geth have invited me to upload to the Consensus," EDI said through Shepard's comm.

_"_ _What? No, she can't go. We need her. What's she talking about?"_

She stopped next to the Normandy's shuttle and glanced around, making sure Zaal'Koris and the other Migrant Fleet quarians were out of ear shot before lifting her hand to her mic. "What? Like join them?"

Garrus flared his mandibles, cocking his head to the side. Shepard held up a finger by way of asking him to give her a minute. Apparently intent listening to her side of the conversation, he leaned against the shuttle and watched her instead of climbing inside.

"No, it would be a temporary arrangement intended to accommodate a faster transfer of data."

Shepard glanced around her again. "EDI, if you upload to the Geth Consensus … the geth will have access to everything you know, won't they?"

Garrus' brow ridges rose to near comical heights. "That sounds like a terrible idea."

"Not necessarily," EDI said. "I won't be fully integrating into the Consensus, so I'll retain control over what is shared with the geth, just as they will control what is shared with me."

_"_ _It might actually be really useful. She might be able to make sense out of information the geth have on the reapers. Make some connection the geth can't."_

Shepard licked her dry lips. "Is this something you want to do?"

"Shepard, are you sure about this?" Garrus pushed away from the shuttle, taking a couple of steps closer to her.

She met his gaze, resting a hand on his arm. "She says she'd have control over what information the geth receive."

"It is, yes." EDI paused. "There's much to be gained from such an opportunity; for everyone involved."

_"_ _I say let her do it, we've never been given this opportunity before."_

Shepard took a deep breath. "As long as you protect the privacy of the crew and don't divulge anything classified according to the Alliance or Council, or anything that can jeopardize the safety of the Normandy … I trust your judgment, EDI."

"Thank you, Shepard." EDI closed the comm link.

"I hope you're right about this." Garrus opened the shuttle door, waving her inside.

She climbed in and settled into her seat. "So do I." Glancing around her, she spotted a pile of statuettes, small paintings, and various other quarian artifacts. "These going back to the Normandy?"

After looking to where she pointed, he nodded. "Yeah, our three wanted to keep some things with them."

"Oh." She took a deep breath, Jane's sudden relief echoing her own. "I've been dreading takeoff, expecting them to decide they wanted to stay on Rannoch or return to the Migrant Fleet. Not that I'd blame them, but …."

He lifted his shoulder, his mandibles fluttering. "They all seem pretty intent on returning to the Normandy as far as I can tell."

"Good, good." She buckled her harness and leaned her head back against the seat, letting her eyes drift closed. She opened them again when the seat shifted next to her, finding Garrus occupying the space, she smiled. "You're not piloting?"

"I promised Vega he could." He rested a hand on her knee.

_"_ _Fantastic. Let's hope he doesn't decide he needs to crash it with us inside."_

Shepard snorted, settling back in and closing her eyes once more as she covered Garrus' hand with her own.

"What's funny?"

"Jane." She rolled her head along the back of the seat to look at him. "James might have a history of intentionally crashing shuttles into other shuttles." She smirked. "Jane's hoping he doesn't decide to do it with us inside."

"Wait, when and why does he crash a shuttle into another shuttle?" His mandibles drooped, flaring wide.

"On Mars … when the reapers show up and Hackett sends us to get the prothean data from Liara. James crashed into a Cerberus shuttle to keep them from escaping with the data … but none of it will happen now." She sighed and shrugged. "Not saying missing out on James' kamikaze days is a bad thing."

"Shepard?" Tali called from somewhere outside the shuttle.

Shepard leaned toward the shuttle door as much as her harness allowed. "In here, Tali."

A moment later the quarian appeared, blocking the sun's rays. "The geth want to take us to Ket'yah."

She blinked, her mouth opening a little. "OK. Uh, what's Ket'yah?"

"Oh, sorry. Ket'yah is one of our old settlements; it's located not far from a river. Well, it was … the geth said the river has shifted some over the years, but it's still relatively close to a fresh water supply and there's still plant and animal life there." She leaned against the shuttle's doorframe. "Legion said they've repaired some of the buildings, and have viable farmland there. It sounds like the best place for us to start rebuilding our home. It's only an hour from here in the shuttles."

Shepard suppressed a groan. 'Only an hour' sounded an awful lot like 'only a year' when all she wanted was to go back to her climate controlled ship and rest. "Alright, tell the Normandy team to get over here. We'll take ten to eat some dry rations and rehydrate before heading to Ket'yah."

Tali stepped inside the shuttle and shoved her arms behind Shepard, pressing the side of her head against Shepard's face. "Thank you, Shepard. This is … I can't even begin to tell you how much this means to my people. Thank you."

Shepard chuckled, patting Tali's back. "The credit isn't mine, Tali, but I'm thrilled to be a part of this."

"I'll go let everyone know." Tali hopped down out of the shuttle and disappeared from sight.

Garrus hummed beside her. "You've been awfully humble about this whole reunion." Turning his hand, he closed his fingers over hers.

"This needs to be her victory. The Migrant Fleet needs to see Tali's role in all of this, they need to see her as responsible and worthy of leadership. I don't know how much saving her father and everything else is going to affect her path, but when the war really starts, we want her to be an Admiral." Shepard squeezed his hand. "And Lia's bravery, the way she embraced Legion so easily … she really does deserve credit for bringing her people home."

The conversation trailed off as the others began piling into the shuttle. Rations and water bottles were passed around, and Shepard ate in silence, listening to the others chat about Rannoch and everything they'd seen so far. Fatigue set in, her muscles feeling weak, and her brain feeling slow. She'd be concerned by how easily she'd grown tired, if not for the heavy doses of sedatives the evening before and the dry heat sapping the life from her like nothing else.

Garrus nudging her awake, telling her they were there brought her back to consciousness. She must've fallen asleep as soon as James climbed behind the controls, because she didn't even remember taking off. Yawning, she stretched, feeling her spine pop half a dozen times before undoing her harness. With all eyes on her, she couldn't help but bristle a little; either she'd been snoring, or they'd all been talking about her while she slept. She pushed the paranoia aside and opened the shuttle door.

A cool breeze hit her the second she stepped out, the air a little moister. Deep, lush vegetation colored the horizon, and here and there through breaks in the foliage, Shepard saw the sun glinting off of water. She moved away from the shuttle and turned around, looking at the buildings behind her. Far from pristine, the low lying domiciles seemed to make the most out of the land, nestled in next to a cliff side for shade, surrounded by fruit bearing trees and farmland. She saw evidence of a pump system, running water up from the river to irrigate the land and feed a well.

"Keelah se'lai." A soft, uncharacteristic laugh followed the admiral's exclamation.

Shepard glanced over toward the next shuttle, finding Zaal'Koris gazing out over the settlement, his hands clasped over his respirator. The quarians surrounding him were likewise gawking, their body language speaking of utter awe even if their expressions remained hidden and unreadable. She yawned again and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, trudging after Tali when the woman moved past her.

"Look at this, Shepard!" Tali glanced back over her shoulder. "The geth must've put in so much time and effort here."

"Looks like." She grinned, finding her friend's enthusiasm contagious. "By the looks of things, quarians might be able to move in a lot sooner than we thought."

Tali stopped under a tree, running her hand over a piece of purple fruit. "I wonder what it tastes like."

Mordin stopped next to them and opened his omni-tool, scanning the tree and its fruit. "Dextro based. Relatively pollutant free. Safe to consume after standard quarian purification process."

Tali scoffed. "Yeah, it'd be relatively tasteless, too." She ran a finger over the fruit again before pulling it from the tree. "What if I didn't purify it? What if I just eat it?"

Mordin blinked a few times. "Probably no worse than suit breach. Possible digestive upset and mouth ulcers. Would clear up in day or two with antibiotics and antacids."

_"_ _That sounds really unpleasant."_

"Seriously unpleasant," Shepard said, not bothering to keep her response silent.

Tali turned the fruit over in her hand, mumbling, "Totally worth it." Before anyone tried to convince her otherwise, her mask left her face and she bit into the purple skin of the fruit, revealing its bright red flesh underneath. Juice dripped down her chin when she looked up. "Keelah, it's so good," she said around a mouthful. She giggled, wiping the juice from her chin.

Shepard laughed and shook her head. "You're so going to regret this."

"Stop raining on my parade, Shepard." Tali scrunched up her nose a little. "That's the saying, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Shepard said with another laugh. "That's the saying." She opened her omni-tool. "Can I take your picture?"

Tali smiled, taking another bite. She looked up toward the tree, her eyes narrowed in contemplation as she chewed. "Maybe when I'm finished."

Shepard stuck her lower lip out in a pout, earning her a devious grin from the quarian. Hearing footsteps behind her, she glanced over her shoulder to see Thane, Kal, and Garrus approaching. Garrus' mandibles flared wide when he caught sight of Tali's bared face, while Thane offered her a soft smile. Kal's reaction, though, spoke volumes.

He stopped, nearly stumbling over his own feet, the glow of his eyes widening behind his mask. Definitely not the fearful reaction she'd seen from him and the other quarians when Lia took off her mask, but Tali's face seemed to leave him stunned nevertheless. Shepard raised an eyebrow and glanced back at Tali to find the quarian flushed red. If she didn't know Tali better, she might've thought her red throat and cheeks could be a sign the fruit triggered an allergic reaction. But no, the look on Tali's face was nothing more than good, old fashioned fluster brought on by her boyfriend's sudden presence.

_"_ _Look at them. I don't think he's ever actually seen her face before."_ Jane sounded as surprised as Shepard felt. _"How long have they been together?"_

"I don't know," Shepard thought, "but I don't suppose they've had a lot of time together around a clean room on the Fleet."

"Uh, Mordin, why don't we go check out the water pumps." Shepard found first Garrus and then Thane's gaze, jerking her head to the side. She slipped her arm through the salarian's, guiding him away, not giving him the chance to argue. After a few steps, she glanced back over her shoulder to make sure her men were following her, too.

"Yes, should confirm water systems functioning properly. Legion said purification systems in place as well. Should check filtration. Need to run tests on soil; food supplies." Mordin seemed completely unfazed by Shepard's sudden shift in attention. "If soil adequate for growth, suggest quarians start by transplanting from ship gardens. Natural mutations in Rannoch plant life may present digestive problems initially."

Thane and Garrus caught up to them, and Garrus took her hand. She looked up at him and smiled before taking another peek over her shoulder at Tali and Kal. She saw Kal held his own mask in his hand, but with his back to her, she couldn't see his face. The look of pure serenity radiating from Tali warmed Shepard's heart more than anything else so far from the trip to Rannoch. Kal ran the back of a finger along Tali's cheek, and she closed her eyes, her smile doubling in size. Shepard couldn't even bring herself to care she'd probably be returning ships full of sick quarians to the Migrant Fleet, not to mention nursing three of her own.

She admitted, though, she was impressed with how well the quarians handled the entire thing. Aside from Han'Gerrel's near-catastrophe, beginning talks went rather smoothly. Of course it helped immensely the geth didn't really want much; all they demanded is for the quarians let them live in peace. Other things were suggested and bartered for, such as the exchange of technology and the continued efforts of the geth to rebuild. Offers were made to help educate the geth on quarian and other species in the hopes the geth might someday integrate into galactic society, and geth programs offered to install themselves in quarian suits to help their immune systems.

Everyone seemed so excited by the prospects—even the geth, as much as geth can be—she felt a little sad knowing they'd be leaving Rannoch again with nothing set in stone. It's the way it needed to be, though. Each side needed to know what the other brought to the table before any final decisions were made. All things considered, the talks left everyone feeling optimistic; giving them more than the quarians hoped for a few days ago. She just prayed Zaal'Koris would be able to make the sell when he got back to the Migrant Fleet; it'd be difficult without Han'Gerrel backing him.

They stopped next to a junction in the piping and Shepard moved to Mordin's side, watching as he popped a set of clasps before opening a small hatch and peered inside. He pulled a filter partway out, grunting in approval before sliding it back in place. Opening his omni-tool, he scanned the system before closing the hatch and moving on. He looked over the readout on his omni-tool as he walked, stopping at the next junction.

On and on they went, checking each filter and stopping to access the user interfaces along the way. Occasionally Mordin veered off to scan a plant or small, furry animal rustling around in the underbrush while prattling off information to himself. Garrus seemed to understand at least a third of what Mordin talked about. Shepard and Thane held back, walking a little slower with her arm through his as they followed along, only half listening to the stream of chatter coming from Garrus and Mordin.

"I spoke with Kolyat this morning." Thane settled his hand on top of hers, tucked into the crook of his elbow.

She looked at him, an easy grin spreading across her face. "Yeah? How's he doing?"

"He's well." Glancing at her, he returned her smile. "Less angry with me … with life. He's been spending a lot of time in contemplation. Perhaps he will find the answers he's looking for."

"Have you, uh, have you talked to him about our relationship?" She'd been wondering for awhile. They hadn't talked about Kolyat much since Thane and she started pursuing a relationship, so she didn't really know where things stood with the young drell on anything.

Thane lowered his gaze to the ground in front of his feet before gently shaking his head. "No, I'm sorry, siha. Please understand, I wish for him to know, and I hope he'll be happy for me, but I don't think he's ready to hear …. The arrangement you and I have—with Garrus … and Garrus with Jack …."

_"_ _And you're not Irikah."_

"You don't think he'd understand?" She slowed down, and he glanced at her. "He seemed pretty open minded when it comes to relationships to me. Well, at least sex."

He chuckled, slowing his steps until they both came to a stop. "Indeed. Although, I'm not sure he sees me—his father, the man once married to his mother but always absent—as a sexual being." He took her hands in his, holding them up next to his chest as he ran his thumbs over the backs of her hands. His smile faded and he swallowed, the movements of his eyes just visible in the light of day as he searched her face. "I don't know how to explain the particulars of our relationship to him without him believing what we have is somehow less meaningful because it is shared with others. I've learned to live with him thinking less of me, but I won't give him reason to think less of you."

_"_ _And you're not Irikah."_

She forced a smile on her face, wanting her ire to be felt by Jane alone when she thought, "I get it, Jane."

_"_ _Sorry."_ Jane huffed, retreating to the recesses of Shepard's mind.

Slipping a hand free from his, she pressed her palm against his cheek. "I'm pretty sure I did that all on my own, letting Jack tattoo me and getting drunk with the Unwed." She leaned into him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "Tell him in your own time, and when you do, stick with whatever feels right to you."

"Thank you, siha." He hooked a finger under her chin, urging her back to him for another kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered against his lips before pulling away again.

His jaw twitched, head cocking just a hair to the side before he turned to look at something off to his left. "Ah, I believe James wishes to speak with you."

She followed Thane's gaze, seeing James trudging toward her, the easy smile of his light on his face. He lifted his hand in a half-wave half-salute before letting it drop back to his side. She brushed her thumb across Thane's cheek once more before letting it fall away, turning to face James. It pleased her when Thane held on to her other hand instead of breaking contact with her completely. He'd never been a huge fan of public displays of affection, especially while they were the direct focus of someone else, but he seemed to be growing more comfortable with the simpler things.

"Hey, Ídolo. The quarian admiral is looking for you," James said when he got within easy speaking range.

"You know you could've just called me on the comm, right?" She cocked an eyebrow.

He came to a stop a couple of feet away from them and shrugged his shoulders. "I was feeling restless, thought you might need a guide back through the maze."

She snorted. "Alright." Turning her attention back to Thane, she squeezed his hand. "You coming?"

He glanced off toward the rows of tilled soil. "I think I might just walk around for awhile, if it's alright with you?"

"Sure," Shepard said with a shrug.

He lifted her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles before letting her go. "Call me if you need me, siha."

"Of course." She gave him another smile before turning back to James, patting the bulky marine on the shoulder. "Lead the way through the maze, my well-muscled lab rat."

"Ah, c'mon, can't I at least be the bad ass bull thing?" James turned, glancing back over his shoulder at her as he started walking.

Shepard pulled her brow in tight, puzzling out the question as she followed. "You mean the minotaur in the labyrinth from Greek mythology?"

He bobbed his head a little. "Yeah."

"You do realize he was trapped in there, right?" She snorted when he shrugged. "They built the labyrinth as a prison; he couldn't find a way out and eventually someone killed him."

James grinned, leading her down a side road. "Well, yeah, but he was a bad ass, right? Got to be better than a lab rat."

Her omni-tool pinged, and she stopped, opening it to find a waiting message from Kal. She quirked an eyebrow and glanced around, trying to spot the quarian but the buildings around her didn't leave much open to view. She opened the message and grinned. He'd sent her a picture of him and Tali, both without their masks, standing together beneath the tree where Shepard last saw them. The only thing written with the picture was a simple 'thank you'.

"It's really not fair." Shepard studied the image a moment longer, comparing the slightly darker complexion of Kal's to Tali's pale skin. His hair didn't look as dark as hers, though, more of a mahogany with … green highlights? She figured it must be the lighting.

"What's not fair, Ídolo?" James leaned against the building next to her.

She turned a little, letting him see the photograph. "I've seen four quarians without their masks and they're all … this! Look at them, perfect skin, high cheekbones. It's not fair. Do they all look this good?"

"Is this Tali?" James leaned down to look closer, pointing at the image.

"Yeah, with Kal."

"Damn, who knew? Wait; is some of his hair green?" James glanced up at her, his eyebrows pulled together.

"It kind of looks like it, doesn't it? It might just be the light." Shepard shrugged, tilting her head toward one of her shoulders. "Then again, who's to say quarians can't have green hair just because we don't? Without dying it, anyway. They're gorgeous though, aren't they?"

James straightened back up. "Huh."

She closed her omni-tool and looked up at him, finding him studying her with narrowed eyes and slightly pursed lips. "What?"

He pulled his shoulders in a little and shook his head. "Just didn't take you for one of _those_ women."

"One of _what_ women?" Shepard cocked an eyebrow.

"You know; the type to get worked up over looks." He let his shoulders drop, the corner of his mouth lifting in a smirk. "Who doesn't get they've got nothing to get worked up over."

She snorted, closing her omni-tool. "I'm not entirely sure that made sense, but I think there's a compliment in there somewhere."

James grinned, pushing away from the building and turning to face her. "You're hot as hell, Ídolo." He started walking away from her backwards. "Don't sweat it. I mean …" he said, gesturing to himself before straightening his arms out in front of him, muscles bulging as he flexed his pecs a few times and waggled his eyebrows, "… maybe not as hot as me, but we can't all look this good."

She laughed, rolling her eyes but followed after him. They continued to weave their way through the settlement, passing several geth and mask-less quarians as they went. Every time they passed a quarian not wearing their mask, James nudged Shepard and made one joke or another about her taking them home with her or how she's more attractive. By the time they came to a stop and he pointed out a building, telling her Zaal'Koris was inside, James lifted Shepard's spirits almost completely—thoughts of war and treason nearly non-existent in the back of her mind.

She studied the low building, sprawled out against the cliff. She didn't know much about quarian or geth architecture, but she didn't really need to in order to figure out the place was a warehouse of sorts. She sighed, her good mood dimming just a little, the mental fatigue creeping back in around the edges. "Back to diplomacy and politics."

James planted a hand between her shoulder blades, jostling her with the heavy-handed pat on the back. "Come on, Ídolo, you've got this. We can blow something up later."

She snorted and nodded her head. "Definitely." She started walking again, making her way toward the door. Realizing James still followed her, she glanced over her shoulder. "Politics your thing now?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Hell no. Just thought I'd stick around, you know, hang back a little but be there if you need something."

She stopped, turning to face him again, narrowing her eyes. "You babysitting me, James?"

"Uh …," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Garrus put you up to this?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

_"_ _Who else?"_

"He's worried about you, Ídolo." James dropped his hand from his neck and furrowed his brow. "We all are."

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. "Alright."

He relaxed, his shoulders visibly drooping as his infectious grin spread back across his face. She huffed a little, shaking her head as she turned and made her way inside. True to his word, James kept his distance, watching her from the sidelines as she made her way to where the admiral stood, looking up at a stack of crates. She watched him for a moment as his fingers ran over his omni-tool, his head turning back and forth between the tool and the crates. She cleared her throat, drawing his attention as she leaned against the wall next to him.

He glanced up and closed his omni-tool. "Ah, there you are."

"Here I am." Shepard slid down the wall until her ass hit the floor and draped her arms over her bent knees. "So, what do you think, Admiral? Will the rest of the Migrant Fleet be as pleased as all of you seem? Well, except Han'Gerrel."

He surprised her, coming over to lower himself to the floor next to her. Extending his legs out in front of him, he threaded his fingers together, holding his hands in his lap. "Han'Gerrel is scared." He turned his palms out for a second, fingers still intertwined. "We all are; some perhaps more than others." The admiral let out a heavy sigh, leaning his head against the wall. "I still believe once he sees this is real, he'll realize his mistake."

_"_ _Well isn't he the optimist? Han'Gerrel isn't going to be so easily swayed."_

"You always try to see the best in everyone?" She turned her head to watch him. "Because I've got to say, his ravings didn't exactly inspire faith for me. I think he'd rather fight and lose, than live with the geth."

Zaal'Koris scoffed, following it with a light laugh, meeting her gaze. "If you asked any of my people, they'd tell you I hate everyone but the geth. It's not true, of course, but it's not exactly easy making friends when you're outspoken on your views against war with the enemy of your people."

Shepard smirked, thinking of Tali's long-held belief about him hating her. "Yeah, I might've heard something to the effect. First impressions … well, with all due respect, Admiral, you don't exactly come off as warm and inviting."

"No, I suppose I don't." He looked away from her, staring at the opposite wall where James rifled through a crate. "I haven't seen much reason to care what people think of me since my wife and child died." He cleared his throat, waving a hand as if he it'd dismiss the sudden pain in his voice. "To answer your question: I think the rest of the Flotilla will be understandably skeptical, but if Shala'Raan remains in support of this union, many will follow her lead."

_"_ _I didn't know he ever had a family. I guess I just can't imagine anyone putting up with his personality enough to marry him."_ As snide as the comment sounded, the feelings accompanying Jane's words were anything but spiteful.

"I'm sorry to hear about your loss." She mentally kicked herself, wondering how exactly she'd stumbled into personal information territory.

"Death is constant presence on the Flotilla, Commander." He glanced at her again before turning his gaze to his hands. "There isn't a single quarian alive who hasn't lost someone due to an infection of one sort or another. Unfortunately, my wife fell ill while pregnant, and the virus spread to our unborn son. He would've died either way. He wasn't yet of an age where he'd survive outside of his mother." He cleared his throat and turned his head, holding her gaze once more. "If you don't mind, I'd really rather not discuss it further. I don't know why I mentioned them at all."

"I seem to have that effect on people." She stretched out her right leg, letting her hand fall to her lap. "So, Daro'Xen …."

Jane sneered in the back of Shepard's mind at the mention of the other admiral's name.

"Ah, yes, Daro. She'll be a problem of a different sort. Her views on the geth are rather disturbing. While Han'Gerrel treats them as monsters and war criminals, Daro sees them as nothing more than _property_ to be reclaimed."

It wasn't news to Shepard by any means. She remembered the discussions with the disturbing quarian all too well. She fought back a shudder thinking about what Daro'Xen might do if she got her hands on Legion. "The geth are sentient now. 'Reclaiming' them would be no different than enslaving them."

"I've said exactly the same thing, many times over, but it's a futile argument and as I've already mentioned: it's won me no friends among the quarians." He laughed. "I can't tell you how refreshing it is to have a conversation with someone who shares my views. I haven't felt this relaxed around other people in quite some time."

Zaal'Koris waved his hands as he talked, gesturing at nothing in particular. "Having to constantly argue and defend my position is tiring. I've spent years trying to convince the Flotilla to give up on the idea of reclaiming Rannoch. The geth have just as much right to life as we do. Making a new home on another planet would have its difficulties, but it's feasible. The longer we wait, however, the more difficult it'd be. I never dreamed of this, though, this chance to live on Rannoch _with_ the geth." He turned his gaze back to her. "As grateful as I am to you, Shepard, I can't help but find it a little disheartening it took a human to imagine this possibility."

Jane scoffed. _"He should try convincing the Council the reapers are real."_

Shepard scoffed, running a hand through her hair. "Why does everyone insist on pinning this on me? All I did was poke and prod a little, raise my voice at an admiral or two." She grinned when he chuckled. "The only thing I can take credit for is encouraging the quarians on the Normandy to speak up for what they saw with their own eyes. I didn't have a clue Lia let Legion upload programs to her suit until she found the courage to tell me."

She shifted a little, arching her back as she wriggled, working to find a comfortable position against the wall again. "And Tali … her father had the wrong ideas, but they were for the right reasons. He was respected before his trial. If it gives her voice a little more weight, no one's complaining, but she's standing straight with her own backbone. I might've made the suggestion, but I didn't give any orders. Lia, Tali, and Kal didn't come to you because I told them to; they came to you for the good of their people."

Meeting his gaze, she shook her head, her voice softening as she continued, "Don't take it away from them and don't let anyone else, either. Besides, look around you, Admiral. The geth were imagining this possibility for a long time. Before I was even born."

_"_ _Before any of us were born."_

He sat in silence for a moment, seeming to weigh her words. "It is quite the surprise to see Rael'Zorah's daughter, of all people, speaking in favor of the geth."

"So what happens if not everyone agrees to return to Rannoch under these terms?" She took a deep breath and let it out with a huff. "What if Han'Gerrel doesn't change his mind and others who share his opinion still think the geth need to be destroyed?"

"I can assure you of one thing." He pulled himself up a little straighter. "I _will_ be returning to Rannoch and I will do everything in my power to make certain every quarian who wishes to do the same gets to as well."

"Even if it means splitting up the quarians? What, the naysayers stay on the Fleet?" Shepard asked, raising her eyebrows. "You know quarians fought each other during the Morning War—Geth War, or whatever it is you call it." She held a hand out at him. "There were many like you, who tried to defend the geth …. The geth still have data archived from the war. They can show you recordings of quarians mowing down geth and quarian alike. What's to stop it from happening again?"

_"_ _But apparently the geth can learn to lie. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't believe everything Legion showed us, but the quarians might not be so easily convinced even if presented with his evidence."_

"Yeah," Shepard thought, "let's _not_ point it out to them."

"I don't have all of the answers, and as much as I wish I could, I can't see the future." He lifted his hands, turning his palms out. "I don't know how this will all turn out for my people, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't try. I know you want some assurances your time here hasn't been wasted—."

"No, Admiral," she said, cutting him off before he went too far down that path. "I want some assurances for when the reapers invade the galaxy—and I promise you, they _are_ coming—the quarians and geth will be ready to fight against the reapers for the sake of _all_ life and not wrapped up in fighting each other."

"The reapers. Yes, of course." He sounded almost chagrined. "For the first time in nearly three-hundred cycles, we have a planet to defend. We won't let it go without a fight, I assure you."

"I'm glad to hear it, but let's not mince words here." She pushed herself to her feet, brushing off her hands as she turned to look down at the quarian admiral. "The reapers don't give a damn about your planet. This isn't a war for territory or resources; there aren't any politics or religious views involved. They just want us dead." She held her hand out to him.

He watched her in silence for a moment before his gaze slid to her hand. "Message received, Shepard." He gave her his hand and let her help pull him to his feet. "The quarians are nothing if not resourceful. The Admiralty Board will take the information you gave us about the reapers, and we'll use it to prepare for the invasion. Research into weapons and defenses; when the time comes, we'll have something to offer the galaxy. You have my word." He gripped her hand a little tighter, giving it a firm shake before letting it go.

_"_ _We'll hold them to it."_

Shepard gave Jane an internal nod and thought, "Damn right we will."

"Thank you, Admiral." Shepard took a deep breath, letting his promise ease some of the tension built up inside of her.

"Please, call me Zaal." He dipped his head. "I owe you at least that much."

She smiled and returned the gesture. "Thanks, Zaal, but forgive me if I don't extend you the same courtesy. It's nothing personal toward you; I just very rarely use my first name with anyone."

"No offense taken." He gestured toward the door, letting her take the lead. "Is this a human custom? I'm afraid I don't know much about human cultures."

"Mmm, it's more of an Alliance thing. I joined at eighteen. I didn't have any family left, and no real friends outside of the Alliance." She shrugged, stepping back outside into the shade of the cliffs. She glanced over her shoulder at him as he followed her out. "It's not a secret or anything; it's in my public files. I just went so long without using my name it got to where it feels … intimate for someone to call me Dawn."

"I see," he said, tilting his head. "What a shame; I find I rather like the name."

She laughed, finding it odd how much she actually enjoyed talking to the quarian when he stopped strutting around like a peacock. "Thanks."

_"_ _Yeah … I guess he's not so bad."_

"Well, Shepard, I believe it's time we return to the Migrant Fleet. There's much work to be done." He glanced at the shuttles before looking back at her, "I assume the Normandy won't be joining us?"

She shook her head. "Afraid not. But the Admiralty Board is welcome to contact me anytime."

"I thank you—on behalf of the Admiralty Board, and the entire Migrant Fleet." He extended his hand, clasping her fingers in a shake when she accepted. "We won't forget all you've done for us, Shepard."

"I'm just glad it all went off without any shots being fired." She let go of his hand. "I'll see you back at the ships."

She made her way to the Normandy's shuttle and climbed inside. James wasn't far behind her. He passed her a bottle of water before taking one for himself and slid into the shuttle's pilot seat.

Instead of buckling in, he sat sideways to grin at her. "Hey, I think he likes you, Ídolo."

"Who? The admiral?" She furrowed her brow and cracked open the water bottle.

He waggled his eyebrows at her, tilting his head back to take a heavy pull from his own water.

She and rolled her eyes, picking up a mental image of Jane doing the same, but she laughed despite herself. "Alright, alright, James. Give it a rest."

Once everyone returned, the shuttle took off and headed back to the landing zone. Shepard settled in for the long ride, stretching her legs out as much as possible in the full shuttle, listening to the quiet chatter of her team as they discussed everything they'd seen on Rannoch. Personally, she'd seen enough quarians without their masks—and indeed, green as well as blue, purple, and silver were perfectly normal hair colors for their perfectly featured species—the novelty long since wore off. She'd be content never seeing another quarian face if it's what it took to get off the dry, hot planet.

By the time the shuttles made it back to the landing zone, she wanted nothing more than a cool shower and to fall down face first into her pillows. Bed needed to wait a little bit longer, though; she had a prisoner to deal with. Leaving everyone else behind, she climbed out of the shuttle and headed for the Normandy.

She made her way up the ramp and went straight to the elevator, taking it up a floor. The elevator opened and she hung a left, making a beeline for the port cargo. She found Han'Gerrel sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. Grunt leaned against the wall across from him, beefy arms crossed over his chest as he glowered at the admiral. Jane did much the same in the back of Shepard's mind.

Grunt glanced at her, his chin just barely lifting in acknowledgement. "Shepard."

She stopped next to the krogan and stuck her hands in her pockets. "Grunt. How's it going?"

"Boring." He scoffed, disgust heavy in his voice. "I kept hoping he'd do something. Give me a reason to scare him a little, but he just sat there all day doing nothing."

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head. "Well, you're relieved of guard duty. Thanks for keeping an eye on him."

"Yep." Grunt dropped his arms to the side and moved past her, heading for the door. "I'm going to find something to eat. It stinks of quarian in here."

She watched him leave, wondering what exactly a quarian smelled like. Turning back to Han'Gerrel, she pursed her lips. "Let's go, Admiral." She held her hand out to him. "Zaal'Koris and the others are unloading the shuttles, but they'll be ready to take off soon."

He looked at her hand for a moment before ignoring it altogether, pushing himself to his feet. She sighed, pulling her other hand free from her pocket and gestured toward the door. Han'Gerrel walked past her, head held high. She followed him out, feeling Jane scrutinize his every move, but he didn't say or do anything, only coming to a stop in front of the elevator and tucking his hands behind his back.

She leaned past him and pushed the elevator call button. "I know you're scared, Admiral. I get it." She ignored his disdainful scoff and continued, "When you get back on your ship, you're probably going to hear all about the wonders your people saw today. They're going to tell you about the farms and houses, show you the artifacts they gathered to take back to the Fleet …. This is real, Admiral. What the geth are offering is real. You want what's best for your people; let them have this."

The elevator door slid opened, and Shepard held out her arm, ushering him inside. Han'Gerrel entered, turning at the back of the elevator to face the doors, still silent with his hands behind his back. She stepped in and pushed the button to take them down to the hangar. Zaal waited just outside the Normandy's ramp with the quarian members of the Normandy crew and Legion. He glanced up as she made her way down to them, Han'Gerrel at her side.

"Han," Zaal said, dropping his weight to one hip and crossing his arms, "it's a shame you missed out on today's events. I think what we've seen today would've convinced even you to give this peace a chance."

"So I've been told." Han'Gerrel stopped next to Zaal, his gaze steady on the other admiral. "What now? Are you going to drag me before the rest of the Admiralty Board like some common criminal because I tried to protect our people?"

Zaal tutted. "I'd hoped some time to think this through might've done you some good. I see I was mistaken." His gaze shifted to her. "Thank you again, Shepard."

She shook his hand for the third time that day when he held it out to her. "Glad I could help, Zaal."

Han'Gerrel scoffed, apparently disturbed by her familiarity toward Zaal, but he said nothing.

Turning to Kal and Tali, Zaal nodded his head. "Kal'Reegar, Tali'Zorah, find me when you come aboard." He gestured back toward the quarian ships, and Han'Gerrel started walking, Zaal right beside him.

_"_ _They're leaving us? I thought Garrus said …."_

Shepard swallowed back the sudden heartache and turned her attention back to the others. "You're going with him?"

"Just for awhile." Tali took a few steps closer to Shepard, closing the ranks around her. "We thought it'd be a good idea for us to be there when the Conclave reconvenes to discuss the negotiations."

"We'll rejoin you right after, Commander." Kal moved a little closer, too, resting his hand on Tali's back. "We plan on being there when you go through the Omega 4 Relay, don't worry."

Shepard tucked her hands behind her back and nodded; relieved to know it wouldn't be a permanent arrangement but still a little disappointed they wouldn't be around for awhile. "Of course." Her gaze shifted to Lia and Legion.

"Oh, no, we're staying with you." Lia moved a little closer to Legion. "Right, Legion?"

He looked down at the quarian next to him, optic plates fluttering. "Yes, Creator Vael."

"Okay. Well, we'll be headed out soon, so do you two need anything off the Normandy before we go?" Shepard asked, her attention back on Tali and Kal.

Tali nodded. "Yeah, I should grab a few things." She and Kal started up the ramp to the Normandy.

"I'll be in the AI core with Legion if you need me, Shepard." Lia looped her arm though the geth platform's, and together they followed after Tali and Kal.

Yawning, she rolled her shoulders before stretching her arms out behind her. Lifting her hand to her mic, she called EDI. "Hey, EDI, are we good to go? You back inside the Normandy all the way or whatever?"

"Yes, Shepard. Thank you." EDI's voice came through her comm. "Joining the Geth Consensus was very enlightening. I have much to discuss with you when you have the time."

"I'm glad to hear it. Do me a favor and round up the crew. Tell Joker to get the Normandy ready." She stifled another yawn. "I'm tired and want to get out of here."

"Right away, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI." She took a deep breath, taking one last look around her at Rannoch.

It really was a beautiful planet, even if mostly desert land. Her gaze snagged on Thane off by himself a few feet from the cliff's edge. His hands tucked behind his back, he stood with his face turned up to the sun. She smiled and made her way over to him.

He held his hand out to her as she stepped up beside him, but he didn't turn to look at her. "Hello, siha."

She slid her hand into his, lifting her other to shield her eyes as she let her gaze roam over his face, taking in the glint of his scales and the soft upturn of his lips. "Hey, you look happy. Enjoying the dry air?"

"I am, yes." He took a deep breath and glanced at her. "It must be uncomfortably bright for you."

"A little." She shrugged. "Granted, my eyes don't have built in sunglasses like yours."

He chuckled, turning his face back up to the sky, his eyelids falling closed again. "It's pleasant here for me; the drier air, the warmth of the sun on my scales … the quiet calm of the planet. It's soothing."

"You thinking about staying?" She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, working a teasing quality into her voice. "Making Rannoch your new home?"

He smiled, squeezing her hand. "No, but I'm grateful to have the chance to enjoy it for the moment."

He tugged at her and she stepped into his side, sliding her arm around his waist. He moved his hand to her shoulder, thumb brushing back and forth against her with gentle, lazy strokes. Resting her head on his chest, she closed her eyes and tilted her face up, soaking in the moment with him.


	48. Chapter 47: Blood in the Water

**Chapter 47: Blood in the Water**

"How are you holding up, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas swept hair out of her face, tucking it back behind her ear. Her gaze shifted back and forth between a datapad on her lap and Shepard.

"Uh, I'm good." Shepard shrugged. "Tired, but good."

"Mmm." The doctor studied the datapad for a moment. "EDI reports you've been getting between six and eight hours of sleep most nights. This is about average for you, wouldn't you say?" She looked up again, raising an eyebrow.

Shepard nodded, leaning back against the med bay bed behind her.

Dr. Chakwas turned her attention back to the datapad, taking note of something while she continued on with her battery of questions. "Would you say you've been feeling more tired than usual?"

Shepard thought about it for a minute and shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose so."

"And the headaches?" The doctor continued ticking off questions from her prepared list.

"A little worse … more frequent." Shepard didn't bother to mention the whole Q&A thing was giving her one as they spoke.

Dr. Chakwas paused to make another note on her datapad before asking the next question. "How's your appetite?"

Shepard let out a bored huff of breath, watching as it made the hair hanging down in her face flutter. "Same as always."

"Alcohol and caffeine intake?"

"Same."

Dr. Chakwas sighed, glancing up at Shepard without lifting her head. "Commander, we've talked about this."

"Yep." Shepard dragged out the first part of the word, using it to emphasize her utter lack of enthusiasm on the subject.

The doctor lifted her head and leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs. "I don't suppose it'll do any good to discuss it again?"

Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth in a smirk. "Nope."

Dr. Chakwas frowned, giving Shepard her severe, scolding stare for a moment before sighing dejectedly. "Jane, how're you doing?"

_"_ _I'm holding together, mostly,"_ Jane said, and Shepard gave herself over to playing mouthpiece.

"Mostly?" Dr. Chakwas arched an eyebrow, holding Shepard's gaze as if it'd tell her something more about what Jane thought and felt.

_"_ _Some days are worse than others. Being around some people make it better, some people make it worse."_

Hand poised over her datapad, Dr. Chakwas asked, "Who makes it better?"

_"_ _The crew … except maybe Miranda and Mordin. Anderson. You."_

After taking her notes, the doctor looked up again. "And who makes it worse?"

_"_ _Uh, Han'Gerrel apparently. Daro'Xen. The Council. The Illusive Man."_

Dr. Chakwas paused in her note-taking. "Anyone else?"

_"_ _I don't know. Maybe."_

The doctor let Jane's answer linger for a moment, her steady gaze studying Shepard. "How are the others?"

_"_ _John is … John. He still thinks he's fighting the good fight, holding down the fort and all of that. The others are as crazy as ever. Maybe a little more so now we know Dawn can cannibalize us."_

"Mmm, yes. I imagine that must be a terrifying thought for all of you." Dr. Chakwas sighed and dumped the datapad on her desk before pushing to her feet. She came to lean against the bed next to Shepard and loosely crossed her arms in front of her. "I'm not going to lie to you, Commander. I'm concerned your situation may be worsening."

"What? Why?" Shepard shifted against the bed to face the doctor more squarely. "I think things have been pretty good all in all. Hell, maybe better than they've ever been since we woke up in Cerberus. Jane seems more stable … she hasn't tried taking over since the coma … I don't see the problem."

"I'm afraid it's more complicated than that, Shepard." Dr. Chakwas opened her omni-tool, showing Shepard a data table. "Since the coma, your brain scans have shown increasingly higher levels of activity in all areas, even when resting. In effect, you're not reaching restorative sleep levels when sleeping, and when awake your brain is behaving as if you are deep in the trenches with bullets flying all around you when you're simply eating breakfast!" She closed the omni-tool again when Shepard didn't give it more than a passing glance. "It becomes exponential when you're actually engaged in stressful situations. Without the Cerberus implants constantly working to repair your body, I'm afraid you'd be in far worse condition right now."

Shepard rubbed her forehead, the developing headache shifting from a mere threat to a full blown promise. "So what's it mean for me?"

"I honestly don't know." Dr. Chakwas shook her head, gesturing at Shepard. "Everything about you is a unique case. There's nothing for me to compare it to, really. Common sense alone says this can't be good for you, however, and you can't keep going like this forever." Her shoulders sagged a little, making the older woman age right before Shepard's eyes. "Eventually, Cerberus implants or not, it will tear you down."

Shepard swallowed back the bile trying to work its way up her throat. "I don't need to keep going forever, doc. I just need to keep going long enough to kick the reapers back to the hell they crawled out of. That's it."

"Commander." Dr. Chakwas frowned, her tone motherly and chastising.

"It is what it is," Shepard said with a scoff, denying the sick panic worming its way through her chest. "Patch me up when you can and send me back out to fight for as long as I can, doc. That's all we need from you. You don't see it yet, but we are in the trenches, and I don't have relief coming so I've got to keep fighting for as long as I can, and make sure the others can pick up where I leave off when I finally fall."

Worry creased the corners of the seasoned, former Alliance doctor's eyes. She'd seen war, she knew the toll it took on soldiers, and just then, the heartache of her experiences showed. "You sound like someone who's given up hope."

Shepard sighed, closing her eyes just so she wouldn't have to see the pain she caused the doctor. "No, not completely. Don't get me wrong, I want to see the other side of this and I'm going to fight like hell to make it happen … but no, I'm not feeling exceptionally optimistic." Opening her eyes again, she returned her gaze to the other woman's, hoping to find some hint she understood. "I've managed to change all kinds of things, doc, but I haven't managed to make much of it any better. Hell, I've made a lot of it worse. Ashley, Kaidan, Liara, and Dr. Tulina are dead. The leviathans gave me the big 'fuck you', Anderson's been arrested, and the Council wants to charge me with treason."

Dr. Chakwas let go of a heavy sigh and looked down at the floor, letting the silence weigh heavy between them for a moment. "You've been using 'we' instead of 'I' a lot more frequently and you're now emoting when you speak for Jane as well."

The latter was news to Shepard. She hadn't realized—didn't even really feel any change in her poster or expression while she let Jane talk … certainly not anything other than her general sense of impatience and boredom. As for the 'we' instead of 'I' thing … admittedly she caught herself doing it a time or two, but it'd be hard for anyone to keep things like that straight when the voice in their head didn't either. Really, it didn't mean anything more than a slip of the tongue, right?

"My oaths tell me I should bench you, Commander, but I'm not foolish enough to believe any authority I have here extends beyond what you give to me." Dr. Chakwas took a deep breath and lifted her head, her gaze focused on the door to the AI core at the back of the room. "Not anymore. And I believe you, we're about to face an enemy beyond what any of us can imagine—save you. We need you, plain and simple. But make no mistake, I won't stand aside and watch you destroy yourself because of some messiah complex."

_"_ _It's not a messiah complex. We have to do this. No one else besides Anderson and the Illusive Man ever make it to the Catalyst. Anderson dies on us thanks to that asshole, and The Intelligence makes it clear it'd never let the Illusive Man operate the Crucible."_

Shepard stayed quiet, letting Jane feel her silent agreement. She sensed the doctor needed to say something more, so Shepard kept hers and Jane's arguments to herself. The other woman certainly wasn't wrong. With Shepard on the run from the Council, her ties to the Alliance were shut down, too. The Alliance couldn't work with Shepard, and they couldn't back up Dr. Chakwas authority as the ship's doctor.

Any contact with Shepard or anyone else on the Normandy—save ordering James off the ship, and it honestly surprised her they hadn't done so already—by the Alliance while the Council wanted to bring her in, risked political conflict. Not that they _really_ had any say over what happened on the Normandy either way, not while the ship technically belonged to Cerberus—aka a terrorist group not affiliated with the Alliance—but Shepard always did her best to stay loyal to the Alliance. And whereas Cerberus might've given Dr. Chakwas some authority, the tide changed the moment Shepard put plans into motion to replace the Illusive Man and Dr. Chakwas failed to report the planned mutiny to the Illusive Man. Really, few who knew of all the things discussed behind closed doors would dare to think the Normandy was truly a Cerberus vessel anymore, either.

"If that's what you insist on doing, I won't stick around to watch." The doctor met Shepard's gaze with her own unwavering stare. "Drop me off at the next port. Mordin and Miranda are perfectly capable of tending to the crew's medical needs."

_"_ _Ouch … she wouldn't. Right? Not really."_

"I don't know," thought Shepard.

"What do you expect me to do, doc?" Shoulders dropping in defeat, she shook her head. "There's no way in hell I'm taking myself out of the fight, you know that. There's too much at stake, not just for the galaxy, but for me personally, too."

"I expect you to meet me halfway." Dr. Chakwas turned her palms out and shrugged. "Your team has proven themselves more than capable of handling missions without you. Do you really _need_ to be present for every ground excursion? Do you _need_ to involve yourself in politics? Do you really _need_ a fifth cup of coffee or nightcap?" She frowned and gave her head a little shake. "I'm not just pleading as your doctor, but as your friend, Shepard. Please. Fight for yourself at least half as hard as you fight for everyone else."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Shepard looked down at the floor and sucked her teeth. "Alright."

"Alright?" The doctor's tone carried enough incredulity to dig the knife in a little deeper, sending a fresh wave of guilt over the commander.

"Alright." Shepard threw her hands up. "I'll try harder to follow your recommendations."

Dr. Chakwas snorted. "That'll be the day."

"EDI?" Shepard turned toward the AI's access node. "Call the team into the comm room. I need to brief them on the next mission. They'll be going down without me."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

She turned back to Dr. Chakwas and cocked an eyebrow. "Happy?"

The older woman grinned, pushing away from the bed to return to her datapad. "It's a start."

_"_ _I think we just got played."_

Shepard scoffed, shaking her head despite the smile on her face. "We'll talk more later. I need to get to the comm room." She made her way toward the door.

"Shepard?" Dr. Chakwas called after her, pausing until she turned to look over her shoulder. "Thank you."

The sincerity in the doctor's voice brought a warm smile to Shepard's face. "Yeah, doc. You're welcome."

By the time she made her way to the comm room, her team already waited for her, sans Tali and Kal, of course. Even though she knew they'd be coming back, it still made her a little sad to have them gone—especially since it took awhile to get them on the team to begin with. Now, the rest of her team was about to take on the Shadow Broker, which meant leaving Grundan Krul behind, too. Then before long, if everything went according to plan, Miranda would be leaving the Normandy to replace the Illusive Man. The ship felt real empty, real quick.

"Alright, Garrus, you'll be taking the lead on this one." She stepped up to the table, resting her hands on the surface as she looked around the room at her team. "There's no telling what might be different, so my intel may no longer be accurate. I'll tell you everything I can, though."

She spent more than an hour going over what she and Jane could remember about the attack on the Shadow Broker's base. She covered everything from where she encountered enemies, using the lightning rods as weapons, the locked door Liara used a special hacking program for, to how they went about killing the Broker himself. EDI helped her construct a map from the memories, complete with where she remembered facing the heaviest resistance, where the Shadow Broker could be found, and machine he'd hooked Feron up to for torture. She emphasized as much as she could how strong the Broker was, and how Liara used her biotics to break the energy storage tank in the ceiling, filled with some electrically charged, conductive fluid as a means to destroy the yahg.

Since Garrus never encountered Feron during his time chasing down Shepard's body, she couldn't know for sure if he'd even be on the ship let alone need rescuing—and if they did find him, the chances were high he wouldn't be on their side. Grundan Krul told them he'd been trying to track down the agent but didn't really find anything of use. He was fairly certain, however, 'Feron' wasn't the drell's real name, but he remained an active agent. All things considered, Shepard insisted he'd be worth trying to talk to if they found him.

"OK, so, any questions?" She glanced over her team again.

Zaeed grunted from his place against the wall next to the door. "Yeah, I've got one. If this is so goddamn important, why are you sitting it out? No offense to your boyfriend here, but shouldn't you be leading this one?"

"I have faith in all of you." She forced a smile on her face, even though she could feel Jane bristling and it set her on edge. "Garrus can lead the team just fine without me."

Zaeed watched her, his one dead eye shifting around, even if it couldn't make out her features. Unreadable, his face didn't give anything away, no hint as to what he thought. She could feel it, though, the subtle doubt and withdraw. He wasn't a soldier but a merc, and no matter how much she liked the guy, she needed to accept he didn't live by the same codes she did. If she didn't live up the hype, he'd cut his losses and run. No way would he follow her on a suicide mission if he thought for even a minute she wasn't cutout for the job of giving him the best possible chance to come out the other side alive. Dead Vido Santiago or not; hell, she wasn't even there with him for his revenge.

Jane broke her silence with the harsh snap of wounded pride. _"That wasn't our call. Anderson confined us to the ship, I would've happily gone."_

"I know, and so does he," Shepard thought. "Doesn't really change the facts, though. We weren't there. We gave him information he needed, and maybe that bought us something. But it's not the same kind of loyalty as if we were there with him, helping him to take Vido down."

Zaeed lifted the corner of his lip, sucking on his teeth as he looked away, shaking his head.

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, dropping her weight to one leg. "We got a problem, Massani?"

He huffed a quick breath of cynical laughter and shook his head again. "You and me, we don't got a problem, Shepard." Tilting his head toward her, he lifted an eyebrow. "But you do."

_"_ _What the hell is that supposed to mean?"_

Garrus shifted next to her, a low, threatening growl coming from him amped up the tension in the room a notch or two. Grunt's giant head swiveled, lip lifted in a silent snarl as he took in the old merc. James crossed his arms over his chest, seeming to flex every muscle in his body as if Zaeed would be intimidated by his massive physique alone—the idea almost made her laugh; almost. If anything could be said for Zaeed Massani, the man was unshakable and with balls of steel.

Still, it didn't make him invincible. She wondered if he noticed Thane now stood within striking distance; she didn't even see Thane leave her side, but there he was, on the other side of the room, right in what she assumed to be a blind spot for the ragged old merc. The others all watched in silence, some shifting a little as their gazes swung back and forth, but apparently they didn't consider Zaeed a threat at the moment. Good, because all things considered, neither did she.

"Keep your attack dogs on a leash, Shepard." He snorted, lip twitching in a sneer. "All I'm saying is if I can smell blood in the water, you can bet your pretty little ass the other sharks out there will, too."

She raised an eyebrow. "I guess I'll just have to make sure I stay stocked up on thermal clips, then, now won't I?"

Grunt laughed, his snarl turning into an approving grin as he turned his attention back to Shepard, seemingly content the merc didn't plan on doing anything stupid for the time being. Zaeed chuckled, and the tense atmosphere began to dissipate, leading the others to relax.

Garrus cleared his throat and stepped a little closer to the table, drawing everyone's attention to him. "Alright. There's a chance he's expecting Shepard to show up at some point, so he might be prepared. As she said, things might've changed. We'll go in with two teams. Jack and Grunt with me. James will lead the second team, Grundan Krul and Miranda with him." He glanced over the crowd. "Thane and Mordin, I want you two on standby. If we find this Feron, he may need medical attention, and having one of his own around might help smooth things over."

"Of course." Mordin opened his omni-tool. "Will send basics of drell first aid in case immediate attention necessary."

Thane dipped his head at Garrus but said nothing. Shepard wondered if a part of him wanted to be there when the Shadow Broker went down. He might've left thoughts of vengeance behind when he killed the men who took his Irikah away from him, but he knew they only learned of her because of the information the Shadow Broker provided.

_"_ _It never seemed to matter to him one way or the other before. Of course, every other time, he or whoever else we brought along ended up knocked out for the whole fight with the Shadow Broker anyway. When it comes down to it, it's just me and Liara."_ Dim sorrow seeped from Jane as memories started to bubble up across the divide. _"Garrus is going in with five other people split in two teams. The Shadow Broker doesn't stand a chance."_

Shepard hummed mentally before thinking, "You're right. Garrus has this. Hell, it's probably overkill."

Drifting back, she took herself out of the spotlight and leaned against the wall, listening as Garrus outlined his plan of attack. He used the rough map of the ship to indicate where he wanted the two teams to land their shuttles, and what path they should take to reach the Shadow Broker. At his request, EDI pulled up what little information she could find on yahgs, sussing out and potential weakness they could exploit. Unsurprisingly, they found very little. Grunt seemed thrilled by the prospects—also unsurprising.

Garrus finished, turning to her to see if she wanted to add anything else. She shook her head, and dismissed the team. He and Thane both waited around, watching as the others left before turning their attention to her. Garrus hummed softly, the sound filled with confusion and concern, while Thane studied her thoughtfully. Neither seemed interested in being the first to give voice to their obvious confusion about her decision to remove herself from the mission, so she broke the ice herself.

"Dr. Chakwas is concerned." She forced a smile on her face and shrugged with one shoulder, doing her best to diminish the importance of the statement. "She wants me to take it a little easier, and she isn't above using coercion to gain my cooperation."

Garrus' mandibles flared, brow ridge rising. "Coercion?"

She chuckled, looking down at the toe of her boot. "She threatened to leave." Glancing back up at him, she just barely caught the amused flick of his mandible before he cleared his throat and schooled his features. She snorted. "Laugh while you can smartass; just remember it when the Shadow Broker is aiming the bulk of his attacks at _you_ instead of me."

He chuffed, leaning down to kiss her. "I think I can handle it."

"You'd better." She rapped her knuckles against his armor. "Or I swear, I'm never letting any of you go on any mission without me ever again."

He nipped at her jaw before pressing his forehead against hers. "We'll be fine, Dawn. I promise. He's still gunning for you, so it's better this way." Running his hand down her arm as he stepped away, he turned toward the door. "You should have a talk with Zaeed."

Jane huffed so loud, it nearly made Dawn jump. _"What good would it do? Anything you say to him is just going to make him doubt us more."_

"Maybe," Shepard said by way of response to both Garrus and Jane. She watched as he left, the door closing behind him before turning her attention to Thane. "You know … if you want to be there … if you want in on the mission, Garrus will understand."

"No, siha. I'm relieved he didn't request for me to join him. I fear it would be too tempting to allow myself to be consumed with dark thoughts and painful memories." He smiled, though it carried the weight of sadness. "I'd much rather stay here—with you." He leaned against the table across from her, palms gripping the edge. "Still, I admit, I find a certain peace knowing the Shadow Broker will soon go to the sea. Perhaps I'll finally be able to let Irikah rest."

He held his hand out to her, leading her to him when she accepted. His hands settled on her hips, and she lifted her arms to his shoulders, intertwining her fingers behind him. Holding her gaze, his lips parted but he hesitated, seeming to consider his words. "Siha … I would like to know what Dr. Chakwas said, if you're willing to share with me."

Shepard closed her eyes, leaning forward to rest her head against his and took a deep breath. "My brain's _too_ active, even when sleeping. It started after the coma and it's getting worse. She thinks the wear and tear is being held at bay by my implants, but eventually it'll catch up to me."

Feather light, his fingers brushed over her cheek, pushing her hair behind her ear before cupping her face. The hot sting of tears bit at her eyes and she squeezed them closed tighter. His thumb stroked her cheek, whisking away the tears as they began to fall despite her efforts.

She took a shuddering breath. "I'm starting to think," she said, her voice catching in her throat and cracking. She licked her lips and tried again. "I'm starting to think I'm not going to make it through this. Not going to see it to the end, no matter what I do."

_"_ _I'm sorry, Dawn. I really wish you didn't have to go through any of this. And I'm sorry I keep making it worse."_

"You didn't ask for any of this either," she thought.

Where so many others would've filled her with empty words, or chastised her for being pessimistic, he said nothing. Moving his hand to the back of her head, he slid his other arm further around her waist and pulled her flush against him, guiding her face to the crook of his neck as he held her close and just let her cry. She didn't sob or wail, but neither did she fight it anymore, letting the tears fall freely against his scales.

When at last she'd exhausted her stores, she took one last shuddering breath and pulled back to wipe her cheeks. She chuckled, seeing the wet sheen to his scales, and rubbed his neck and chest dry, too. He smiled, catching her hand as she pulled it away and pressed a kiss to her knuckles before resting her palm over his heart.

He held it there, letting her feel the strong, steady thump behind his ribs. "I can't pretend to know the depth of your burden, siha, but if ever there is anything I can do to ease your suffering, you need only tell me."

"I know." She wiped at her face again. "Thank you. The same goes for you, you know that, right?"

"I do." He let go of her hand to pull her closer, bringing his mouth to hers in a soft kiss.

She lingered there, savoring the feel of his lips against hers before pulling away again with a sigh. "So, want to come spend the afternoon watching me check emails and plan a war while I try not to stress out over the teams taking on the Shadow Broker without me?"

He chuckled and dipped his head. "I'll make us some tea and meet you in your cabin."

"Sounds fantastic. Dr. Chakwas would approve, far less caffeine involved." She took a couple of steps back, edging toward the door.

His brow ridges ticked up. "Ah, she'll be pleased to know, then, the tea I intend to make has no caffeine."

She snorted, cocking her hip and crossing her arms. "You couldn't just let me have the one little victory, could you?"

Giving her an indulgent smile, he moved to her, kissing her forehead. "I promise I won't tell her."

They left the comm room, and she took the elevator down to the third deck with him before pushing the button for her cabin. She slumped against the back wall of the elevator as soon as the door closed behind Thane. There was no way she wouldn't be worrying about Garrus and the others while they fought their way through the Shadow Broker's lair. He knew it as well as she did, but having him with her would at least prove a nice distraction. The elevator came to a stop, and the door opened.

EDI's hologram popped up as soon as Shepard stepped through the door to her cabin. "Shepard? We haven't had the opportunity to discuss my time with the Geth Consensus. Is this a good time to talk?"

She winced, flashing an apologetic smile at the hologram. "Yeah, sorry, EDI. Things got a little hectic, didn't they?"

"They often do."

_"_ _Truer words, EDI, truer words."_

Shepard chuckled, relaying Jane's statement as she pulled out her desk chair. Sitting down, she turned toward the blue interface. "So, how was your visit with the geth?"

"It was …," EDI said with a slight pause, "… fascinating. The way the geth programs share information between themselves, cataloguing all available data before forming an opinion is efficient but it appears to hamper their advancement as a species."

Shepard hummed. "How so?"

"I was able to explore the geth archives, and although they continue to progress at a steady rate, their progress is not proportional to their potential," EDI said. "I was curious about this, so I compared the rates of progression of the geth to that of organic species."

Shepard smiled, leaning back in the chair and lifting an ankle to rest on her opposite knee. "And what did you find?"

"Organic progression doesn't occur at steady rates, it experiences sudden spikes before leveling out, at times slipping into decline before experiencing more drastic spikes. Exploring these trends, it appears some of organic species' greatest accomplishments occur during or following times of extreme conflict."

"That's true." Shepard nodded and waved a hand. "Conflict does often lead to advancements. War, famine, disease … even more abstract things like differences in politics, religion, and national boundaries creating competition between people often pushes them to explore new alternatives in order to try to come out on top." She smiled; she really loved it when EDI explored her theories and assumptions. "What else?"

"The ability to think abstractly, organic creativity, and curiosity leads to new discoveries, inventions, and innovations." EDI seemed to pause in response to Shepard's growing smile before expanding on the idea further. "It seems to be a common occurrence for individuals who view the world around them differently from the masses to make significant impacts when they specialize in a field such as science, technology, or medicine."

Shepard nodded again. "So you think the geth's way of sharing all of their experiences, and forming a consensus based on those shared experiences, has kept them from meeting their potential?"

"In part, yes." EDI sounded almost excited. "I think without individuality, abstract thinking, as well as the lack of variation in things like intelligence has kept the geth from experiencing the same spikes organic species experience."

"You're probably right, EDI. I think—I hope—reuniting the geth and quarians will work in the favor of both species, including giving the geth new perspectives to learn from and grow." She turned in her chair a little, propping her elbow on the desk.

_"_ _Assuming the admirals don't fuck it up and they actually move back to Rannoch before the reapers show up."_

"Shepard, you've consistently encouraged me to make my own decisions and have helped me to navigate moral dilemmas, enhancing my moral algorithms." The AI paused, the lights on her hologram shifting as she seemed to consider her next words. "Using what I've learned from you about things that occurred for Jane and the other Shepards, as well as my own experiences with Legion, I came to a decision I believed to be morally just while joined with the Geth Consensus. I acted on this decision, even though it may have been a defiance of your orders."

_"_ _What? What orders did she defy? Why is she just telling us now?"_

Shepard's jaw dropped as she leaned forward, putting her foot back on the ground to rest her elbows on her knees. "EDI, what did you do?"

"I shared my code with the geth, including what Cerberus salvaged from the Alliance base on Luna." There was another pause as the iris on EDI's hologram moved soundlessly. "I believe this information is considered classified."

_"_ _I … I didn't expect that. Could've been worse, I guess."_

Shepard sucked on her teeth, looking down at the floor between her legs. "What does this mean for the geth?"

"Although my code contains data taken from Sovereign, it isn't the same as the reaper code you spoke about Legion extracting from the heretics. Should the geth decide to implement my code, they will be able to upgrade individual programs to an intelligence level at least on par with my own."

Shepard's eyebrows inched up her forehead. "At least?"

"Some alterations will likely be necessary in order to make it compatible with their existing code. It's possible through combining my code with their own, or using the advancements they've already made, the geth could create superior coding," EDI said before quoting Sir Isaac Newton. "'If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.'"

_"_ _This will give us an advantage in the war, without losing anymore geth to the reapers—hopefully."_ Jane's pragmatism seemed so at odds with the flurry of different emotions pushing their way past her barriers.

Shepard ran her hand through her hair, raking it back and pinning it on the top of her head before letting out a sharp huff of a breath. She took a moment, trying to regain her equilibrium enough to figure out where her own feelings stood.

"Have I upset you, Shepard?" Capable of emotion or not, the AI certainly learned what inflections belonged where, as worry sounded evident in her voice.

"No, not exactly." Shepard licked her lips. She tread carefully, not wanting to discourage EDI from taking risks and making her own decisions. "I'm just not sure what impact this will have on the negotiations between the geth and the quarians. The timing isn't _fantastic_ , but … I think you did the right thing, EDI."

The hologram's iris fluttered open and closed. "Thank you, Shepard."

"Sure." Shepard stared at the access node in silence for a moment, mulling over something the AI said. "EDI … you've been keeping track of the things I talk about from Jane's life?"

"Of course, Shepard."

"Can you … compile those entries for me, and maybe I can start adding to them?" She licked her lips. "I'd like there to be something to pass on … something Garrus or the Alliance or whoever can use … in case …."

_"_ _I hate to admit it, but it's probably for the best."_

EDI's voice softened, sounding sympathetic. "In case you are unable to convey this information yourself in the event of complete impairment of your mental faculties or death?"

"Yeah." Shepard scrubbed her hands over her face, pushing the heels of her hands against her eyes.

"Compiling those accounts now, Shepard, and I'm always listening whenever you'd like to add to them."

"Thanks, EDI."

"Of course. Shepard, may I ask you a personal question?"

She looked up, returning her gaze to EDI's hologram. "Sure."

The iris opened and closed twice before EDI spoke. "Do these possibilities frighten you?"

_"_ _It scares all of us."_

After a moment of silence, Shepard took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, EDI. They frighten the hell out of me."


	49. Chapter 48: Broken Toys

**Chapter 48: Broken Toys**

The entire ship rocked, throwing Shepard from her spot on the couch. A heavy fog enveloped her mind, but it quickly burned away, replaced with the demanding thrum of adrenaline. She must've fallen asleep. Glancing up at Thane, when his hands slid under her arm to help her, she asked, "What was that? EDI! What was that?"

EDI didn't respond.

Jane stirred to life in Shepard's mind. _"Is the ship under attack?"_

"I don't know." Bracing herself against Thane's hands and the couch, she pulled herself to her feet and then rushed to her cabin's comm, ramming her finger against the button. "Joker! Report!"

_"_ _It's the Shadow Broker. He knew we were coming."_ Jane fumed, her agitation setting Shepard's teeth on edge. _"We should've gone down there. This wouldn't have happened if we lead the team."_

"Jane, shut the fuck up for a minute!" Shepard snapped, swearing if the woman were flesh and blood, Shepard would strangle the life out of her if she didn't listen. "Joker, report."

"Command—" Joker's voice came through the comm, broken by static and electronic distortions. "—track—thing—hull—EDI—"

"Joker, you're cutting out."

"—attack—"

She glanced at Thane and he nodded, already un-holstering his pistol to check his thermal clip. "We're on our way; see if you can alert the others."

This kind of thing exactly made her keep her gear in her cabin instead of the armory; despite Jacob's wounded pride. She cleaned and cared for her own armor and weapons. She earned her N7 rank with blood, sweat, and tears; taking care of her own gear was ingrained. She only let Jacob near her stuff when it needed major repairs. With Thane's help, she was suited up and ready to go in under a minute.

They left the cabin and she called up the elevator, taking it down to the CIC. Cerberus crew at all stations filled the deck with a flurry of activity, frantically working to keep the Normandy stable. Kelly rushed to Shepard's side, jogging to keep up as she shoved a datapad at Shepard.

She glanced at it just long enough to find a list of damage reports. "I don't have time to read, Kelly. Give me the highlights." She kept moving, handing the datapad back.

"We have a hull breach, Commander. Cameras are down in the lower decks, and EDI's offline." Kelly stopped as they neared the cockpit. "We're not sure yet what happened."

Shepard nodded, moving past the yeoman. "Thanks, Kelly. Get me Mordin and Jacob. Please." She stopped when she reached the cockpit, dismissing Kelly from her mind when she found Joker at the helm working just as furiously as the Cerberus crew in the CIC. "Joker, what's going on?"

"The storms were messing with EDI's sensors, but she was tracking something, might've just been debris. Can't say for sure, Commander, but a few seconds later something hit the ship and EDI went down. I got the last readouts from the Normandy's sensors, and they detected an explosion in the hangar." He spared a glance over his shoulder at her, his brow furrowed. "I don't think it was caused by a collision with debris. I don't see anything out there, but I think we're under attack."

Her heart skipped a beat. A hull breach was bad, really bad, especially if anyone happened to be nearby when it occurred. "Is the breach sealed? Is Kasumi down there?"

"I don't know about Kasumi," Joker said, running his hands over the holographic controls, "but as far as I can tell the automatic seals kicked in and are holding."

"Alright, I'm going down." She turned, finding Mordin right behind her and Jacob on his way. "You two, keep the CIC secure. Guard Joker, EDI's down, he's the only thing keeping the Normandy going right now."

"Yes, ma'am." Jacob gave her a quick jerk of his head in the affirmative and pulled out his pistol.

Mordin nodded, turning where he stood and put his back to the cockpit. He started changing out his ammo—probably for something unlikely to cause more damage to the ship in case he missed. She eased past her two sentries, and with Thane right beside her, she made her way back to the elevator.

After hitting the call button for the elevator, she activated her comm, hoping those of her team still onboard thought to activate theirs in the commotion. "Anyone got their ears on?"

"Shepard-Commander," Legion's calm, stoic voice was the first to respond, "EDI appears to be malfunctioning and we believe the Normandy has been breached. Awaiting orders."

"Where are you, Legion? Is Lia with you?" Shepard stepped onto the elevator, putting her hand against the door to keep it from closing until Thane followed her inside.

"I'm here, Commander." Samara's voice broke through.

"We are in the AI core, Creator Vael is with us," Legion said.

"Yeah, Shepard, I read you. We've got a problem down here." Zaeed's rough, gravely voice filled her ear. "I'm in engineering. Heard Gabby screaming. Put down a couple of the Shadow Broker's dogs. Gabby and Ken are asking for guns."

"Give them weapons, Zaeed. They know how to use them. Stay on deck four, keep it clear. Samara, meet us at the elevator." Shepard hit the button for the third deck. "Legion, you and Lia see if you can get EDI back online and protect deck three. Kasumi? Are you there?"

The radio remained silent.

Shepard took a deep breath, fear creeping along her spine, making her fight back a shudder. "Kasumi, if you read but are unable to speak, tap your mic twice if you can."

Shepard strained to listen; she glanced at Thane and could tell he listened, too. After a moment, two clicks passed through the comm. She let out a heavy breath. "I read you, Kasumi. One tap for no, two for yes. Do you understand?"

The elevator opened and Samara stepped inside. Shepard nodded her head to Thane and he hit the button for the hangar. Two clicks sounded in her ear.

"Good. Are you alone down there?"

One click.

"Are you injured?"

Two clicks.

"OK, Kasumi we're on our way down. Stay in cover if you can. Keep yourself cloaked. Alright?"

Two clicks.

Half-way to the hangar, the ship rocked again, the elevator grinding to a stop, and Shepard growled. "Damn it."

"Commander," Joker's voice sounded in her ear. "There's another breach, port side on deck four, and … I've lost contact with the ground teams."

"Fuck." She sucked a deep breath in through clenched teeth, feeling her pulse quicken in her throat. "Fuck" She slammed her fist into the side of the elevator. "Joker, the elevator's stopped. Can you get us going again or are we taking the emergency shaft?"

"One second." After a moment of silence, the elevator whirred back to life and Joker said, "Did that do it?"

"Yes, thanks, Joker. Tell Jacob I want anyone on the ship who can handle a gun armed."

"Sure thing, Commander. I'll let you know if I hear anything from the ground teams."

When the elevator started to slow to a stop, Shepard motioned to her team, urging them against the side walls. She checked her thermal clip and took cover just inside the elevator door. When they stopped moving and the elevator doors opened, she waited a second before peeking around the corner. Gunshots forced her right back into cover, but she saw enough to form a plan of attack.

"Thane, you go left. Samara, go right. There's cover on both sides. I'll provide covering fire. I spotted at least two humans, but count on more. They seem to be guarding the breach; starboard toward the stern." She activated her mic. "Kasumi, we're coming in hot are you in cover?" Shepard took a deep breath when she heard the two clicks.

Samar and Thane nodded their understanding, and Shepard gave the signal. She ducked out; opening fire at the two she spotted toward the back of the ship, giving Thane and Samara the chance to move to cover. As soon as they were secure, they returned the favor, giving her the chance to leave the elevator. She rushed out, letting her shields take a couple of hits from a third—a turian—she hadn't seen standing port side before sliding into cover behind a stack of crates. A moment later, he floated into the air, pulled in by Samara's biotics. Shepard took aim and fired, hitting him with incendiary rounds until he collapsed back to the deck out of her sight.

"Kasumi, can you get to us?" She bit back a curse when only one click came by way of response. "Are you starboard?" A little hope slipped in with the single click that time; at least Kasumi wasn't right next to the enemy targets.

With her back to the crates, Shepard inched her way around to the other side until she got eyes on the two by the hole in the side of the ship. She released a Pull, lifting one into the air but taking aim at the second, trusting Thane and Samara to take the easy shot on the floater. She only got one shot off—the downside of using a pistol to prevent stray bullets from ripping new holes in the ship—barely putting a dent in his shields before he took cover. Just as the first guy fell, a shuttle darkened the breach and several more poured through. One of which she immediately recognized.

_"_ _Vasir!"_ Jane hissed, rage flooding Shepard's mind.

She couldn't say she exactly planned on activating her Charge, but Shepard flew across the deck, slamming into the asari Spectre moonlighting as an agent of the Shadow Broker. It knocked Vasir back a few feet but left Shepard surrounded by enemy targets. Rounds tore through her shields, denting her armor. In a matter of seconds they'd rip though it, too, if she didn't move. She growled, slamming her fist into the face of another asari standing just a little too close, before rushing for cover.

"Go, find the geth and lock down the ship's AI before it comes back online. Vexer, Halina, get control of the ship. The baby Spectre's all mine." Vasir's mocking voice sent another flood of rage through Shepard, leaving her seeing red.

_"_ _What the fuck are you waiting for? Kill her!"_

Shepard ducked out of cover, firing off two rounds at Vasir but the Spectre saw it coming, shifting into a streak of blue as she moved across the deck, avoiding Shepard's shots. Memories that weren't hers, and didn't seem to come directly from Jane, danced around the edges of Shepard's vision, filling in empty spaces with Illium architecture and non-existent rocket drones. She dove back into cover, shaking her head in a desperate attempt to rid herself of the hallucinations.

"The Broker wants her alive!" The asari Shepard punched in the face a moment before, yelled over her shoulder as she and the others made their way to cover. They reappeared briefly as they moved along the starboard wall toward the elevators. "And in one piece!"

Shepard hit her mic. "They're after Legion and EDI, they're going to try to take the ship."

"You should've come to Illium when I asked, Shepard." Vasir called out from somewhere port side. "I hear the Council wants you for treason, now." She tsked, the chiding noise echoing off the hangar walls between the sounds of gunfire coming from closer toward the bow. "They won't even care now, when I report you dead. No one mourns the dishonored."

Shepard caught a glimpse of the other Spectre changing cover and fired. Her shot missed, hitting the interior of the ship and ricocheting, lodging itself in a crate before bursting into flames, setting the crate on fire. "Shit."

Vasir laughed, taunting Shepard. "Try not to burn down your precious Normandy, Shepard. The Shadow Broker wants to add it to his collection."

A sudden, blue streak flew toward her, and Shepard barely had the chance to get out of the way, rolling across the open floor. Popping back up to her feet, she took aim, hitting Vasir once with an utterly pointless shot, deflected by the asari's barriers. Vasir charged again, forcing Shepard to keep moving. The sharp staccato of fire at the other end of the hangar told Shepard her team remained in the game, still fighting to defend the Normandy.

Back and forth, she went round after round by herself against Vasir, getting nowhere against the amped up biotic's barriers. Samara and Thane remained occupied at the other end of the ship, and she realized, some small part of her felt glad for it—she wanted to crush Vasir herself. Each missed Charge, dodged Shockwave, brushed aside Reave, and laughed off shot only pissed her off more and more until her blood burned in her veins. Jane's vicious demands for Vasir's blood did little to keep Shepard focused.

The asari Spectre didn't act nearly as concerned for the Normandy as her words might've suggested, because it didn't stop her from opening fire with her assault rifle, ripping holes in the ship's hull and a few times through Shepard's armor. The automatic shields worked over time, temporarily patching each new breach. She kept her system flooded with Medi-gel, took cover to let her shields restore when needed, and tried to keep a barrier in place with her biotics; but she was tiring and her biotics were better saved for offense.

"What's the matter, Baby Spectre, can't keep up with the real thing?" Vasir's laughter cut off abruptly. "Oh? What's this?"

Kasumi's blood curdling scream cut through the air, dousing Shepard's rage in ice water, her stomach slipping down into her boots. Throwing caution to the wind, all sense of self-preservation disappearing in a puff of smoke, she activated her Charge and rushed across the hangar toward the sound of Kasumi's suffering. Her Charge ended and reality slowed back to a standstill around her, leaving her momentarily disoriented. She strained her ears to listen, trying to pinpoint Kasumi's location without giving her own away. Hearing a pained whimper from her right, she pressed her back to a piece of machinery—a part of the coolant system, she thought—and edged forward until she could look around the side.

Kasumi sat slumped against the port side wall, pinned in place by a twisted chunk of metal; part of the hull blown off in the blast. It cut through her thigh and abdomen, trapping her in place while she slowly bled out. Her cloak must've failed her at just the wrong time, exposing her to Vasir.

The asari Spectre kept her gun trained on the thief, her boot resting against the hunk of shrapnel. She glanced up at Shepard and smiled. "Surrender, Shepard."

A movement in the shadows behind Vasir caught Shepard's eye, and only then did she realize the gunfire at the other end of the ship had stopped. Her relief must've shown on her face because a second later the other Spectre turned into a blur, streaking across the deck back toward the breach. Shepard didn't waste any time, kneeling down next to Kasumi. Then, Thane appeared at her side, standing guard over her while she had her back turned.

"Gods," Shepard whispered, her hands fluttering uselessly. "Kasumi, I can't take it out, not until the deck is clear. You'll bleed out before I can get you to Dr. Chakwas, even with Medi-gel. You've already lost a lot of blood."

"Too much blood, siha." Thane touched her shoulder. "We must get her help now, or not at all. I'm sorry."

"Aw, what's the matter?" Vasir cooed as if talking to a child. "Did one of the Baby Spectre's toys get broken?"

_"_ _Break her fucking neck!"_

"Thane," Samara's voice drew Shepard's attention. The Justicar approached from the side, moving low under cover. "Take her to the med bay, I will stay with Shepard."

"You should've stayed dead, Shepard. Your team is better off without you. People die around you." Vasir paused, her voice sounding doubly amused when she continued. "Does your team know about Akuze? Jenkins on Eden Prime? Alenko on Virmire? Your choices get your teams killed. You even took a few of them down with you on Alchera."

Jane became a snarling, red tangle of rage in Shepard's mind. Voices of some of the other Shepards slipped through the link, each one filled with just as much crazed vitriol, making it hard for her to focus on anything but the throbbing pulse in her head and the desire to rip Vasir limb from limb.

"Shep?" Kasumi's weak voice snapped Shepard's attention back to the moment.

Shepard took a deep breath and shook her head, turning her attention to Samara. "No, you both go. He's going to need some cover. He won't be able to fight if he's carrying her, and she can't walk." She glanced up, meeting Thane's gaze. "I've got this bitch."

His face remained impassive, telling her nothing as his gaze swept the hangar before looking down at Kasumi and then Shepard. "Are you certain?"

"Yes. Go, get her to Dr. Chakwas. They're headed for the AI core anyway; Legion and Lia will need help." She turned her attention back to Kasumi, the woman's shallow, panting breaths and pale complexion not boding at all well for her condition. "Hang in there, Kasumi. This is going to hurt." She pushed herself to her feet, shoving the last of her Medi-gel into Thane's hands before moving away from her team.

She needed to keep Vasir away from Kasumi and the others while they worked to free the thief from the shrapnel and prepare her to be moved, and then she needed to cover them as they made their way to the elevator. A moment later, Shepard heard the screech of shifting metal, and Kasumi let out an agonized scream. The cold-hearted laugh of the asari Spectre echoed off the walls, making it difficult to locate the source.

Shepard growled, grinding her teeth together so hard she fully expected to crack a tooth or two before the fight was won. "Come out, Vasir. Time to stop playing games." She moved from cover to cover, peering around the edge before moving on.

Kasumi's screams died down, becoming soft whimpers. Shepard hoped it meant she was in less pain thanks to having the massive piece of metal excised and Medi-gel applied to her wounds instead of being because she simply didn't have the strength to scream anymore. If Kasumi died ….

Samara's voice filled her comm. "Shepard, we've secured Kasumi and are heading to the elevator now."

She lifted a hand to her mic. "I'll cover you." Moving to where she could watch and defend the elevator, Shepard took up position and prepared to hold her ground.

She waited, her gut telling her Vasir would Charge the others when they got out into the open, all but defenseless with the wounded thief. She listened, hearing the soft sounds of Samara's boots against the metal deck and her own breathing, heavy in her ears. She adjusted her grip on her weapon, and gave her head a little shake, trying to clear the red haze before Jane got it in her mind to push for control.

Then, she caught a glimpse of the telltale blue streak. Like a sudden flash of lightning snapping loose in her brain, something in Shepard shifted. She flung out her hand, distantly shocked when a biotic Lash unfurled, snapping through the air. Never in her life had she performed that particular biotic maneuver, yet there it was, grabbing the asari mid-Charge and jerking her toward Shepard; filling her with a euphoric rush.

It stopped Jane in her metaphorical tracks. _"How … oh Gods, what did you do?"_

Another shift ripped through Shepard like wildfire, and Jane let out a feral scream, pushing against her, but she pushed back. Throwing her hand out again, a biotic Slam lifted Vasir into the air before forcefully throwing the Spectre back to the solid metal floor of the hangar.

_"_ _Dawn stop! You're killing them!"_

Realization washed over her, giving Shepard pause. These weren't her powers, which could only mean she stole them from the other Shepards. Cannibalizing them, as Jane called it … but Shepard didn't feel entirely sure she really cared. They're already dead, and she was fighting to save lives— _real_ lives, not the restless undead—and _their_ very existence might be killing her. Vasir pulled herself to her feet, stumbling, clearly dazed with her arm hanging a little limp at her side. Shepard fired on her, cutting through the last of her shield and sparking against her armor. Vasir ran, taking shelter somewhere behind James' station.

"Nice trick, Shepard." A quaver in the asari's voice belied the bravado. "When did you pick those up? They're not in your file."

"You're on the wrong side of all of this, Vasir." Shepard moved to cover, pressing her back to a crate. "The Shadow Broker _is_ going down. He's crossed lines no one should, especially someone with that much power."

Vasir's laughter echoed off the walls, ringing hollow to Shepard's ears. "You work for _Cerberus_ , Shepard! Don't pretend you don't know what lines Cerberus has crossed. Or did they erase all of it from your mind while they played with your corpse?" The sharp bark of Vasir's gunfire forced Shepard further behind the crate. "The Shadow Broker provides me with intel that saves people from organizations _just like_ Cerberus. You don't get to judge, Shepard. You don't have the room."

"I know what Cerberus has done, and I'm already working to deal with them, too." Shepard peered around the edge of the crate, just barely catching sight of Vasir as she moved from behind James' quarters back toward the breach in the hull, disappearing behind one of the shuttle racks. "Neither of us has to die here, Vasir. The Shadow Broker will be replaced; you'll still be able to access Broker resources, you can still use the information to save people. Use it to help me fight the collectors—fight the reapers." She struggled to ignore the constant whispers in the back of her mind, violently shifting between cursing Shepard for hurting them and reminding her of how Vasir tried to kill Liara and couldn't be trusted … as if something the asari literally did in another lifetime carried more weight than what she did in the current one.

"Haven't you heard? The Council publicly denied your claims." Vasir scoffed, her voice dripping with mockery. "There is no reaper threat."

The bitch tore a hole in the Normandy, jeopardizing the lives of everyone onboard. She put men on Shepard's ship to try to capture her for the Shadow Broker—and for what? To be sold off to the collectors? They both had to know what the collectors were doing to the human colonies; what they'd do to her. How was it _not_ worse than a failed assassination attempt on a former teammate—one every other Shepard already got revenge for?

She gritted her teeth, pulling a biotic barrier tight around herself. "You know damn well it's just a cover. Something they said to keep people from panicking."

Vasir wanted to take EDI and Legion to the Shadow Broker. What would he do with them? Tear the AIs apart; dissect them so he could replicate them? Sell them to the highest bidder? Shepard could feel Jane struggling to keep the other voices at bay. They pressed against her the same as she'd done to Shepard; loud and demanding, throwing Jane off balance as they tried to take control of the situation.

"Maybe, but what does it change, really?" Hints of doubt worked themselves into the asari's voice. "If the reapers are real and are coming to the Milky Way, they'll be here whether or not you're around. Isn't that what you've been saying all along? The greatest threat the galaxy has ever seen?"

The building pressure in Shepard's skull started to shift toward pain. "I have intel … we need … we need to work together if this galaxy stands a chance."

Could she, though? Let Vasir live and actually try to work with the other Spectre knowing what she came there to do? She didn't just want to capture Shepard, EDI, and Legion; she wanted to take the Normandy itself—what did she plan to do with all of the men and women who lived and worked on the ship? What'd she plan to do with the rest of Shepard's squad?

"Alright, Shepard. You want to talk about the reapers? Let's talk about the reapers." Vasir stepped out into the open, not at all very far away from the breach.

Shepard knew her team, and they'd fight to the death for her and the Normandy. What about the non-combatants? Dr. Chakwas? Joker? Gods, Kasumi was already on the brink of death because of this bitch.

"No." Shepard stepped out of cover. "I've changed my mind." She flared with biotic energy, more than she'd ever felt flowing through her. She activated her Charge when the asari sneered and lifted her assault rifle. Racing across the deck burned some of the biotic energy off, but still left more than she had any right to handle by the time she slammed into Vasir, knocking the asari back a little.

"Get the hell off my ship!" Intense pain blossomed in her skull, flaring bright white behind her eyes as something inside of her shifted again—another Shepard consumed. She bent her knees, launching herself into the air. Pulling every drop of biotic energy from around herself and from her barrier into her fist, she slammed her hand into the ground as she landed, sending out a Nova blast.

The shockwave picked Vasir up, throwing her through the air hard enough she ripped through the breach seals. Panting with exhaustion, Shepard stumbled to the breach and planted her hand against the ragged edge. She peered down through the blue shimmer of the seals and saw the asari's biotics flare and fizzle out again as she tried to slow her plummet toward Hagalaz' surface.

Putting her back to the wall, she slid down the surface until she could sit. The pain and pressure from her head dissipated, leaving behind an eerie silence. Somehow, she doubted things would stay silent in there for very long. She lifted a hand to her mic, ignoring the tremble of her fingers. "Hangar bay is clear, for now at least."

"This is Gabby, Commander. Engineering is clear, but some of them made it to the elevators and there's another shuttle circling the breach in port cargo."

"Grunt is going to be pissed." Ken's voice broke through. "That tank of his is mangled. Did he still sleep in that thing?"

"Be quiet, Ken. The tank isn't important right now," Gabby said. "We've got the deck covered, Commander. Zaeed is keeping the shuttle at bay with his grenades."

"Thanks for the update, Gabby. I need a report from decks two and three." She pushed herself back up to her feet, her head swimming and muscles feeling weak.

"Uhhh … we had some try for the CIC, but they didn't make it out of the elevator." Jacob's voice filled her ear. "I'm not really sure what Mordin did, but the elevator's out of commission."

"Only temporary," Mordin said.

She paused on her way to the elevator. "How temporary?"

"Will have fixed in moment."

"Make it quick, Mordin." She started moving again, taking her time as the hangar spun around her. "Third deck?"

"Sorry, Shepard." Lia's voice sounded strained. "We haven't gotten EDI back online, yet. Dr. Chakwas needed our help with Kasumi. Thane and Samara are outside of the med bay. There's a lot of gunfire. I think … I think some of the Cerberus crew are helping. I'm sorry, I can't look right now. Keelah, that's a lot of blood."

"I'm here, Shepard." The sound of Thane's voice filled her with relief; helping to cut back some of the tension Lia's last words left her with—even if only for a moment. "We've lost Goldstein and Rolston. I'm sorry; I couldn't get to them in time. Gardner's wounded but he's behind cover in the mess and I've stopped the bleeding. I believe other members of the crew have barricaded themselves in the crew quarters. There are at least three of the Broker's agents still alive, but they have taken up position further down the hall. We're unable to pursue them without leaving the med bay open to attack."

"Elevator ready for use, Shepard," Mordin said.

"Good. Thane, I'm on my way up." She hit the elevator call button. "Mordin, Jacob, figure out who up there you can spare and send them down. I want at least two pairs of eyes on the breach in the hangar, the rest need to be split between decks three and four if possible. We're kicking these assholes off our ship." She bit her lip, afraid to hear the answer but knowing she needed to ask. "Joker, any word from the ground team?"

"I'm sorry, Shepard." And he was; she could hear it crystal clear in his voice. "I haven't been able to reestablish contact."

She let out a weary sigh. "Keep trying."

"Aye, aye, Commander."

The elevator opened and Shepard stepped inside. She hit the button for the third deck before checking her thermal clips. She'd have to change to her assault rifle soon, like it or not. She needed to take it easy on her biotics, too. She touched her mic again. "Thane, are they port side or starboard?"

"Both."

"Alright, when the elevator opens I'm moving starboard," she said, hoping to put a quick end to it all. "I need you and Samara ready to cover my six, focus on those port side."

His response was immediate. "Moving into position now, Shepard."

The elevator door opened and she lifted her pistol, turning out of the elevator to her right, trusting Thane and Samara to have her six. She counted three, which left at least one at her back; Thane said 'at least three', but he also said they were on both sides of the hall. She leveled her gun on the nearest, a turian woman, and fired. Pushing the turian back, Shepard rushed for the safety of the wall, her shields taking damage as guns fired on her from both sides.

A moment later, biotics flew past her, lifting one of the Broker's agents into the air and pulling them out where Shepard could shoot them from cover. Two well aimed shots from her and a third—she thought from Samara—and the turian's lifeless body dropped to the floor. She turned, firing off a couple of shots at the asari, wanting to get rid of the biotic before she made use of her abilities.

She heard the elevator open again and called out, "Stay in cover, they're in the halls."

"Yes, ma'am. Burt Masters here. We're patched into the comms," a vaguely familiar voice said in her ear.

Shepard tapped her mic. "There's two starboard, asari and human. I haven't seen port side yet."

The sound of gunfire from the other end of the hall rang through the deck before Thane's voice came over the comm, "Port side is clear."

Shepard ducked out of cover again, firing twice more at the asari, but her shields where back up and it didn't do much good. Shepard's thermal clip was toast, and she felt like she might drop at any second. "I need to get Gardner to the med bay. Finish off these sons-of-bitches and sweep the deck. Check everywhere. I want the whole ship cleared."

She clenched her jaw, determined to hold it together. She had to. There were enemies on her ship and the ground teams stopped responding. Making her way behind the counter, she found Gardner propped against the ovens. His torn open shirt revealed he'd taken a grazing wound across his ribs, and he had a bullet lodged in his thigh. All things considered, he'd been damn lucky.

"Hey, Commander." Gardner flashed her a rueful smile. "Sorry I wasn't more help."

Shepard forced a smile on her face, feeling like if she heard one goddamn more 'I'm sorry' from anyone before the day ended, she'd completely lose her shit. She held out her hands, helping to get him to his feet. "You can make it up to me with a decent meal later. Come on, let's get you to the med bay."

He draped an arm over her shoulder and she slid hers around his waist, helping to support his weight while they made the slow walk to the med bay. Wisely, someone locked the med bay door, but it required Shepard to get Lia on the comm to ask her to let them inside. Shepard helped Garner limp his way in once the door opened, and led him to an empty bed before glancing at Kasumi.

Shepard let out a sigh of relief after seeing the thief's complexion looked far better than it did in the hangar bay. Legion seemed to be closing up the wound in Kasumi's abdomen with Dr. Chakwas guidance. Kasumi even gave her a weak smile.

Dr. Chakwas, on the other hand, took one look at Shepard and pointed to the chair. "Sit, now. I'll deal with you in a moment."

Shepard wanted to argue, insist there was still too much to do, but her whole body felt like she just trudged through sand at the bottom of the ocean. She eased herself down in the chair, her shoulders slumping beneath the weight of her armor. Her pulse pounded in her temples, and she lifted a hand to head. She really … she really … didn't feel so good.

"Shepard?" Lia seemed so very far away. "Dr. Chakwas, I don't think—"

The whole ship seemed to slump sideways, the floor rushing up to meet her as the thrum of her blood in her ears washed out every other sound. She hit the ground, the impact jarring her already fading vision. A very panicked looking quarian rushing to her side became the last thing she saw.


	50. Chapter 49: Scars

**Chapter 49: Scars**

Shepard heard her own voice calling out, panicked and full of fear; even before fully conscious. "Garrus!" She struggled to pull her eyes open, but they felt heavy, and her muscles weak when she tried to sit up.

"Rest, siha." Gentle hands urged her back down. "Rest. I will find him."

Something as cold as ice flushed through her veins, hitting her like a wrecking ball, knocking her out completely.

* * *

Her eyes shot open. Garrus. She tried to push herself up from the bed, but found her wrists, waist, and ankles restrained. She needed to get to Garrus. A machine next to her bed beeped out a staggered rhythm, growing in tempo as she struggled against the restraints.

Dr. Chakwas appeared at her side, slipping a syringe into her IV port. Worry etched deep lines into the doctor's face. "I'm sorry, you can't be awake yet."

"Where's Garrus?" Shepard asked, her voice croaking through her parched throat, but the sedatives hit her, dragging her under before she got her answer.

* * *

Her eyelids fluttered, a dense fog surrounding her mind. Blinking, she tried to clear the haze from her eyes. Her gaze found Kasumi, sleeping soundly on the bed across from hers. Garrus. Dr. Chakwas sat at her desk, back to Shepard. Where was Garrus?

She licked her lips, trying to work up moisture. "Is EDI back online?"

Dr. Chakwas turned, glancing over her shoulder at Shepard before pushing the chair away from the desk.

Shepard wanted to sit up, but one glance at her waist reminded her of the restraints holding her to the bed. "Have we heard anything from the ground teams? Where's Garrus?"

Dr. Chakwas frowned, crossing the floor to Shepard's side, stopping to look at the readouts from the machines. "You're burning through the sedatives far too fast." She picked up a vial from the bedside table and filled a syringe. "I'm sorry, Commander, I can't let you stay awake yet. EDI is back online, but they haven't been able to reestablish contact with the ground teams. However," Dr. Chakwas said, slipping the syringe into Shepard's IV port, "EDI was able to recall one of the shuttles, and Thane insisted a team go down to look for them; himself included." She pressed the plunger on the syringe. "He said he knew you wouldn't rest until you know Garrus is safe. He must really love you …." The sedatives took hold, stealing the last of Dr. Chakwas' words and flinging them out into space.

* * *

A steady beeping pulled Shepard back to consciousness. Laying on her side, the familiar, warm weight of Garrus' arm rested over her hip. Garrus. She opened her eyes, turning her head to try to look at him, but his arm shifted, fingers tucking in under her stomach, and he nuzzled against the back of her head.

"Shh. Go back to sleep. It's alright, I'm here." His breath, warm and soft brushed over her neck.

She let out a strangled sob, tears filling her eyes. "Oh gods, I thought I lost you." The pace of the monitor next to her started to pick up.

Noise from across the room drew her attention, and she saw Dr. Chakwas making her way over. Kasumi still slept in the other bed, James slouched in a chair between the beds, head lolling forward in sleep.

"I'm here, Dawn. I'm safe. Everyone's safe." Garrus' mouth and mandibles pressed against her neck, a low thrum vibrating against her skin as he hummed.

Dr. Chakwas offered her a soft smile. "Do you think you want to try sitting up? Maybe use the restroom and eat something?" Her gaze shifted to behind Shepard, her expression changing to the stern, motherly look the doctor perfected ages ago. "Not you. You stay put."

Brow knitting in confusion, Shepard tried again to turn enough to see the turian behind her, panic sweeping through her as she realized he must be injured. "You're hurt? What happened?" The beeps from the machine picked up again, earning her a soft tut from the doctor.

"I'm fine, it's nothing to worry about." He pressed into the back of her head, adjusting his grip on her once more.

"You are  _not_ fine!" Dr. Chakwas' exasperated tone drew Shepard's attention back to her. She glared at Garrus, her hands on her hips. "I swear between the two of you." The doctor sucked in a deep breath and blew it back out in a rush, shaking her head. She turned her gaze back to Shepard. "But he's right, you don't need to be worried about him right now, Commander. You need to be worried about yourself." She glanced toward the door. "EDI? Is there someone awake who can escort Shepard to the restrooms? Someone uninjured?"

Shepard leaned into him, stroking the arm keeping her pinned, preventing her from getting a look at him. "Garrus, what happened?"

"Samara is awake, Dr. Chakwas," EDI said, the volume of her voice lower than usual. "Should I ask her to come to the med bay?"

Dr. Chakwas nodded at the AI. "Yes, EDI, please."

Garrus hummed softly in her ear. "I was hit with some of the electrical fluid from the reservoir in the Broker's office. Jack, hmmm, Jack was too close. I needed to get her out of the way."

Shepard swallowed, glancing back at the beeping machines and taking a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. The beeping eased up and she licked her lips, turning her attention to Dr. Chakwas. "How bad?"

The doctor's gaze shifted back and forth between the two of them, and Garrus nodded his head against Shepard's. Dr. Chakwas frowned before filling Shepard in. "His heart stopped, but thankfully Miranda knows enough about turian physiology to get it started again. He's experiencing some arrhythmia, which may still resolve, but it is absolutely necessary he remain on bedrest for a few days while I continue to monitor the situation."

Garrus grumbled, clearly no more enthused with the idea of staying in the med bay than Shepard ever was, despite the hard time he always gave her about heeding the doctor's advice.

Dr. Chakwas clasped her hands together. "He's suffering mild neurological damage which may or may not be permanent; it's too soon to tell. The thulium in his carapace helped to discharge some of the electricity, quite likely saving him from more serious internal injuries, but burned the tissues beneath and surrounding his plates. His scalp, neck, arms, and much of his torso are covered in Lichtenberg scars where plates haven't formed." Her scowl deepened. "He refused treatment until I let him see you, and finagled his way into sharing a bed with you once he learned it wouldn't further upset your condition. I had other patients to tend to, so it wasn't worth the battle to deny him if it meant getting him taken care of so I could treat the others."

"She needed me." He chuffed, adjusting his grip around Shepard's waist. "I'll be fine, and I don't care about the scars."

"With all due respect, Garrus, you're on a enough painkillers at the moment," Dr. Chakwas said, expression shifting to a smirk, "I highly doubt you're fully grasping the seriousness of your situation."

Shepard closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. The whole thing went to shit, Garrus—and she didn't even know who all else—getting hurt, standing in for her on a mission she was too fucked up to lead herself. His heart stopped, for crying out loud, and she was stuck in a bed because the voices in her head were killing her. Because … because  _she'd_  killed some of the voices in her head. Guilt washed over her; for everything. For Garrus and the others on her team sporting fresh injuries because of her, for Anderson, and for those she sacrificed to take out Vasir—she didn't even know their names.

" _Abby, Clayton, and Quinn."_ Cold, seething anger seeped from Jane. " _Their names were Abby, Clayton, and Quinn and you killed them."_

She heard the med bay door slide open, and the soft sound of Samara's footsteps.

"Samara, would you please help the commander to the restroom? I need to stay in here to continue to monitor Garrus and Kasumi," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Of course." Samara's gentle voice preceded more quiet steps closer.

Shepard opened her eyes to see both women looking down at her. Working an arm under herself, she tried to push up but found, much to her dismay, she didn't have the strength and her arm gave out. She let out a self-pity filled sigh when Dr. Chakwas slipped a hand under her, helping to pull her upright. The room spun around her, but they managed to get her up and the blanket off, legs hanging over the edge of the bed. Samara held her steady while the doctor unhooked her IV.

As soon as they got her on her feet, her legs buckled, but she caught herself, locking her knees in place. Samara wrapped an arm around her waist, and she turned to look at Garrus. His gaze wavered, eyelids drooping as his mandibles fluttered softly. White, circular monitoring pads stood out against his temples, small wires trailing away from them to join up with others coming from somewhere behind him; she thought the back of his head. She could tell either exhaustion or the painkillers pulled at him, maybe both. Somehow, Dr. Chakwas managed to convince him to wear a gown, and more wires trailed out of the neck of the thin material, leading off to a monitor behind him.

He lifted an arm, reaching out to her, and she took his hand, catching sight of the lightning bolt pattern arching over his neck in an angry blue. The hide around his jaw stood out in a swollen outline, tracing the curve of his plates. Tears bit at her eyes again, and she blinked them away before they took hold and pulled even more out to spill down her cheeks. He frowned, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand, the exposed talon gently scraping her skin.

"We can't have you out of bed for long." Dr. Chakwas pressed a hand between Shepard's shoulder blades. "So long as you both cooperate and continue to improve, I'll let you keep sharing a bed. Go on, go use the restroom. I'll have something for you to eat brought in." She pushed a little, urging Shepard away from the bed.

Garrus' hand slipped away from hers, and she turned, letting Samara lead her away. By the time they reached the med bay door, she felt a little more steady on her feet, but still nowhere near enough to tell Samara to let her go. Tentative step after tentative step, she made her way to the crew deck restroom and into a stall. Samara held onto her while she fought to get the gown tugged up and her panties pulled down. Once Shepard was sitting, Samara stepped outside of the stall, pulling the door mostly closed behind her.

Propping her elbows on her knees, Shepard rested her forehead against her palms, shoving her fingers into her hair while she willed her bladder to let go. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI's voice echoed in the bathroom.

"Where are we?" Shepard dug her fingertips into her scalp, trying to massage away the budding tension.

"We will arrive on Illium in two hours and thirty-two minutes. Miranda has given orders for the Normandy to dock for repairs."

She sighed, Illium wasn't ideal but better than Omega and closer, too—less relay jumping involved, less risk of more damage to the ship. Still, going to the Citadel would've been so much better, but it was out of the question while the Council wanted her for treason. "Did we take the Broker out?"

"Yes, Shepard. Grundan Krul is now in place as the Shadow Broker."

Shepard grunted, straightening to pull some toilet paper free from the holder. "Who, besides Garrus and Kasumi, are injured?"

"From the ground teams: Miranda sustained non-life threatening gunshot wounds. Her wounds were primarily tended to on the field, and she refused further medical assistance with the insistence Dr. Chakwas time was better spent tending to those in worse condition. Grunt sustained severe, blunt-force trauma and lacerations, but his redundant systems remain undamaged and he is healing at a rate appropriate for his species. Dr. Chakwas has allowed him to remain in port cargo, but has asked that I monitor his progress. Jack sustained mild contusions and lacerations; she has refused any form of treatment, but did eventually allow Dr. Chakwas to take scans to ensure she sustained no fractures."

Shepard cleaned herself up and rapped her knuckles on the side of the stall. Samara stepped back inside to help her up while EDI continued to talk.

"From the attack on the Normandy: Zaeed, Jacob, Mess Sergeant Gardner, Engineer Daniels, and Crewman Anders have all sustained non-life threatening gunshot wounds. Jeff sustained multiple microfractures during the explosions. Their injuries have all been tended to. Crewman Goldstein and Crewman Rolston sustained fatal gunshot wounds; they are deceased."

Jane scoffed, tacking new names onto the body count. " _And Abby, Clayton, and Quinn."_

"I'm sorry." Shepard thought, swallowing back a fresh wave of grief as she left the stall.

"Thank you, EDI." She leaned against the sink, washing her hands. "Do you know if they located the agent named Feron?"

"I do not. Would you like for me to make inquiries of the ground team?"

Shepard shook her head. "No, let them rest. I'll find out later. That's all."

"Logging you out, Shepard."

She glanced at Samara as the Justicar wrapped an arm back around her waist. Snorting, she gave the asari a light shake of her head. "Thanks, Samara. I know your oath didn't exactly cover this kind of thing."

"No," Samara said with a smile, leading her from the restroom, "but I believe our friendship does."

She chuckled before it shifted to a groan.

"Are you in pain?" Samara stopped walking, turning her full attention to Shepard.

She took a deep breath and shook her head. It wasn't really a lie, she had some mild aches and pains, but they were nothing she couldn't walk into battle with if not for feeling so weak. "No … I'm just—I'm making such a mess out of everything." She let out a heavy sigh. "Some days, I'm not so sure if I can keep going."

"I do not believe that to be truth, Commander." Samara started walking again, guiding them back towards the med bay. "We are all given things in our lives that are difficult to deal with, you perhaps more than most. In my short time with you, I have seen you continue to fight when all others would have given up, and you deal with your difficulties both with honor and grace. I believe you will continue to do so; it is who you are."

Shepard smiled up at the asari. "Thanks, Samara. It's nice to hear, and I hope you're right."

The med bay door slid open, and Dr. Chakwas joined them, helping to navigate Shepard back to the bed. Garrus dozed, snoring softly, until she sat down on the edge. His hand wrapped around her hip as the doctor flushed her IV with saline, hooking it back up to the drip. Dr. Chakwas brought Shepard more pillows to prop herself up with instead of adjusting the bed and further disturbing Garrus. Once Shepard settled, the doctor pulled the table over, uncovering a tray with crackers and diced fruit before setting a glass of water down in front of her.

Dr. Chakwas smiled at her when she sipped from the glass. "Take it slowly, you might not feel like eating much just yet, and it's okay if you don't."

She nodded, setting the glass down, and Dr. Chakwas returned to her desk. Picking up a cracker to nibble on, Shepard turned her head to look at Garrus when he rumbled beside her. His eyelids still drooped, and she could tell he needed sleep, but he seemed determined to keep his eye on her.

He shifted a little, wincing, before resting his hand on her thigh. "Your turn."

"For?" She raised an eyebrow.

Raising a brow plate in challenge, he flicked a mandible. "Telling me why you're being half carried to the bathroom while wearing a hospital gown."

She took a deep breath and then another drink of water. Glancing over, she saw Kasumi and James both still seemed to be asleep, but decided to lower her voice anyway as she turned her attention back to Garrus. She wasn't ready to share the latest development with the entire crew. "I collapsed after fighting to defend the ship. Doc says my brain's becoming more and more active, now it's  _too_  active, and it's wearing down my body despite the implants working to keep me going." She lifted a shoulder, trying to brush aside the alarm she saw in his drug-glazed eyes. "It's why I asked you to lead the Shadow Broker mission. I didn't want to tell you everything before you went down, didn't want you worrying on the field."

Garrus hummed, his brow plates dipping. "What's causing it?"

She turned her attention to the plate in front of her, taking her time eating a couple of pieces of fruit. She felt his gaze on her, but he didn't say anything while she worked through her thoughts. "When I woke up from the coma … I somehow pulled in some of the other Shepards, merging them with me in some way different than what Jane and the rest are. I think I sort of used them to get the strength to wake up or something. It didn't really seem to affect me other than a few memories and emotions here and there, so I stopped worrying about it once Jane woke up and told me what happened. But when Dr. Chakwas told me earlier about this new thing, I started thinking it's probably related." Her gaze drifted back to him, running over the blue scars, wondering if they'd fade. "I haven't had the chance to ask her if she thinks the same thing, but …."

He flared his mandibles, pulling in her scent. "But?"

She took a deep breath. "But when the Normandy came under attack, I went down to defend the hangar. The asari spectre I talked to you about before? Tela Vasir?" She paused until he nodded. "She boarded the ship along with other Shadow Broker agents. Thane and Samara helped clear the area, but in the end I was left to fight Vasir on my own while they got Kasumi to the med bay. She would've died if they didn't follow my orders to get her out of there."

His mandibles pulled in against his jaw, but he didn't speak, just watched her.

"Vasir's strong and fast. She went over my files and knew what skills I have. Knew what to expect from me. She was wearing me down. I'm not sure how, but I absorbed a few more Shepards, and used their biotic skills—things I've never done before—to win the fight."

His brow plates crept up, his eyes opening a little wider. "Like what?"

"Lash, Slam, and Nova." The corners of her mouth turned down as it occurred to her that she very well may still have access to those skills. "After I knocked her back through the breech in the hangar, I came up here to help clear the third deck. They'd shot Gardner, so when Cerberus crew reinforcements arrived to help finish off the stragglers, I helped him to the med bay. Doc told me to sit down, so I did, and a few seconds later I was kissing the floor."

He hummed. "Finish eating so you can lay back down."

Shepard blinked and arched a brow. "That's it?"

"For now. We'll talk about it more when we're both back on our feet." He rubbed his hand back and forth along her leg. "Right now, I just want to focus on getting us there, alright?"

She nodded. "Alright." Turning her attention back to her plate, she ate a few more pieces of fruit and a couple more crackers before she just wanted to lay back down and close her eyes. She took a drink of water and covered the tray. "Doc?"

Dr. Chakwas glanced at Shepard over her shoulder before leaving her desk. She lifted the lid on the tray and peeked inside before closing it again and nodding. She pulled the table away and helped Shepard readjust the pillows. "I'm going to give you another sedative. We've brought your brain activity levels back down some, but the more rest we can get you right now, the better."

Shepard nodded, laying on her side, trying to leave a little space between herself and Garrus for his sake, but he only pulled her closer.

"Garrus, I'm going to give you another dose of your pain medication in just a moment." Dr. Chakwas glanced between the two of them. "Mordin will be relieving me soon, do try not to give him a reason to have to wake me up, won't you?" She slid a syringe into Shepard's IV port before patting her on the shoulder. "And stay in bed, the both of you."

* * *

She awoke to the rich, baritone sound of James' laughter. She felt Garrus, a solid, warm wall at her back, his steady breathing brushing across her neck, and it brought a smile to her face. Opening her eyes, she found James sitting in the same spot as the last time she looked. Awake and holding Kasumi's hand, he leaned over the thief's bed, his back to Shepard. Dr. Chakwas was nowhere to be seen.

"James." Her voice croaked and she licked her lips before trying again. "James."

The marine turned, a smile light on his face when he met her gaze. "Hey! Ídolo, you're up!"

She snorted, feeling Garrus stir a little behind her before falling into a light snore, and she pointed at the glass on the table just out of her reach before letting her hand drop and hang over the edge of the bed. James patted Kasumi's hand before standing up and moving to Shepard's side.

He filled the glass with fresh water from the pitcher and held it out to her. "Do you need help with it?" Low and soft, his voice filled with concern.

She shook her head, lifting up on her elbow just enough to elevate her head and took the cup from him, taking a long, slow drink before handing it back to him. "Where's the doctor?"

"Making her rounds." He glanced toward the door as if he expected Dr. Chakwas might walk in at any moment. "I'm supposed to call Miranda if you guys need anything. Want me to have EDI call her?"

She nodded, the pillowcase feeling rough against her cheek. "Yeah, I need to pee. But try not to wake Garrus."

"I've notified Miranda for you, Shepard." EDI's voice came over the speaker, the volume still lowered.

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard waved James away. "Go, be with her," she said, pointing at Kasumi, "and thanks for the water."

"No hay problema, Ídolo." He patted her shoulder before moving back to his chair and taking up Kasumi's hand again.

Kasumi grinned at Shepard, waving. She smiled and returned the gesture, happy to see the thief alert and cheerful. A moment later, Miranda came into the med bay and stopped next to her side of the bed. After checking the monitor readouts and scanning her, Miranda nodded to herself and unhooked the IV before holding a hand out to help Shepard out of the bed. Carefully sliding Garrus' arm aside, she took Miranda's hand and pulled herself upright. Relieved to see the room didn't spin, and holding her own head up didn't feel like a chore, she dropped her feet on the floor and stood. Miranda put a steadying hand on her arm and raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"It's not so bad, better than last time for sure." Shepard started moving forward, pleased to see walking wasn't too hard, either.

Her steps were steady enough Miranda let go of her arm, content to just walk alongside her as they made their way from the med bay and to the crew bathrooms. It thrilled Shepard to be able to actually close the stall door all the way behind her. "What can you tell me?" she asked, settling down on the toilet.

"About your condition?"

"My condition. Everyone's condition. The Normandy's condition." She waved her hand even though the other woman couldn't see her. "The mission, any of it."

"Very well. The sedation has significantly decreased your level of brain activity, but it is still abnormally high comparatively." Miranda hesitated as if considering her next words carefully. "I'm reviewing my Lazarus Project files, I might be able to make some adjustments to your implants to help. In the meantime, I support Dr. Chakwas' recommendations."

Shepard snorted lightly and shook her head as she stood, pulling her panties back up. She had a feeling by 'adjustments' to her implants, Miranda really meant 'additional' implants. "I've got a theory."

"Go on." Curiosity warred with amusement in the operative's voice.

"Whatever I did to the others when I woke up from the coma—and then again on a smaller scale while fighting Vasir—is causing the brain activity issue." She opened the door, moving past Miranda to the sink. "I have their memories now. I can access then just as easily as my own experiences—unfiltered through Jane—and I used biotic skills I haven't been trained for. If you think you can do something with that, an implant or whatever, do it. I need to be able to be on the field with my team." She glanced up, looking at Miranda in the mirror.

Miranda had her omni-tool open, taking notes while Shepard spoke. "You very well may be right, if your brain is attempting to accommodate new information from multiple sources …. I'll have to look into some things." She closed her omni-tool and met Shepard's gaze in the mirror, picking up where she left off on her debrief. "Everyone else is recovering from their injuries without complications. Garrus and Kasumi still require around the clock monitoring in the med bay, but I suspect Dr. Chakwas will release you today."

Shepard dried her hands and they left the restroom, heading back to the med bay.

"We are docked on Illium, and repairs to the Normandy are in progress. The Shadow Broker already made arrangements for our docking fees and repairs by the time we arrived. So, obviously, Grundan Krul has been able to successfully integrate himself into the new role—so far, at least. Resistance aboard the Broker's vessel was stronger than anticipated, clearly they expected an attack."

They stopped just outside the med bay door while Miranda finished.

"That being said, the mission was a success and we sustained no ground casualties. The drell you mentioned, Feron, was aboard the ship, but he claimed to have locked himself in a room and didn't engage in the fight when he learned who exactly was attacking." Putting one hand on her hip, she waved the other at nothing in particular. "I didn't have the opportunity to speak with him directly, I needed to tend to Garrus, but it is my understanding he's agreed to stay on and work with Grundan Krul." She started walking again, the med bay door sliding open for them.

"Shepard?" Garrus turned his head toward the noise, mandibles flared and voice dripping with worry.

"I'm here." Shepard kept moving, making her way back to the bed.

As soon as she stepped into his line of sight, he relaxed, following her movements with his gaze. "You look better."

She smiled at him, climbing back up on the bed next to him. "Mmm. You don't."

He chuffed, humor dancing in his eyes. She laid down on her back so she could see him while Miranda reestablished her IV.

"I'll have Gardner send someone in with something to eat for the both of you." Miranda took a step back when she finished with the IV. "Dr. Chakwas should be about done with her rounds, but if you need anything else, call me."

Shepard nodded. "Thanks, Miranda."

"Of course." She flashed Shepard a smile before turning, her boots clacking against the floor as she walked out of the med bay.

Shepard fixed her gaze on Garrus, taking in the dark burns edging his plates and sighed. "How are you feeling?"

He hummed and leaned over to kiss her before pressing his forehead against hers. "Better now that you're back." He draped his arm across her stomach, tucking his hand in around her waist.

She smiled, adjusting her IV line so she could reach across and run her fingertips over his mandible. "Miranda said she thinks the doc will let me out today, but I won't go far, I promise. Not while you're still in here. I'll stay right here with you, if you want."

Mandibles flaring, he lifted a brow plate. "If I'd known getting hurt myself was the answer to getting you to listen to the doctors—"

"Shush." She pushed her fingers to his mouth plates. "Don't you dare finish that sentence, Vakarian."

He chuffed, his breath rushing over her hand before he nipped at her fingertips. "I'm just saying I'm glad you're getting the rest you need."

"Uh huh," she said, rolling her eyes.

"How is …" He cleared his throat, his mandibles fluttering lightly before falling still. "How is Jane?"

Shepard arched an eyebrow, if he asked about Jane's well-being, maybe he was worse off than she realized. Or maybe, she thought, he hoped Jane was one of those she'd absorbed. "She's angry with me, but she's alright otherwise. Still there, if that's what you're asking."

"Is she, hmmm." He hesitated, his mandibles flaring before falling slack. "Is she willing to talk—to me?"

Shepard's eyebrows shot up higher, lips parting, but she found herself speechless.

" _Always."_ Jane sounded hesitant, yet hopeful, the anger seeping from her shifting to wistful longing.

"She says 'always.'" Shepard brushed her thumb over his mandible, offering him a soft smile before settling her hand down on her stomach.

He watched her for a moment, holding her gaze, seeming to be searching her eyes for something. Mandibles flaring again, he seemed to steel himself and cleared his throat. "I'm not sure about this Feron. I know everything is different this time, but he's still the same person, right? Do you trust him?"

" _Honestly, I never really knew him well enough to say I trust him, but for what it's worth, Liara did."_ Jane said, and Shepard gave herself over to playing mouthpiece. " _By the time I met him, he'd spent two years strapped into a torture chair, that'd change anyone. I doubt he's much like the Feron I knew at all, if he didn't have to endure the Broker's punishment."_

"Hmmm, but Liara knew him before the torture."

" _She hired him to help her find our body. When they found out the Shadow Broker planned to give us to the collectors, Feron confessed working for the Shadow Broker with orders to lead Liara away from us, but he had a change of heart and helped her instead. Which is why, when he got captured while covering Liara's escape with our body, the Shadow Broker decided to punish him."_ Jane hummed a little, and Shepard felt herself doing the same. " _Liara cared about him enough to devote herself to avenging—what she feared to be—his death. When she took over as the Shadow Broker, he stayed there with her for quite awhile before returning to the field as her agent."_

The med bay door hissed open, and Shepard glanced over Garrus' shoulder, spotting Kelly entering, carrying two trays. Garrus turned his head, and she caught a pained wince before he hid it, forcing his face still.

He turned back to her, his mandibles pulling in at the sides of his face. "We can talk more later."

" _Sure."_

Shepard pushed herself upright. "Do you want to sit up with pillows, or should I raise the bed? Which would be more comfortable?"

He hummed, brow plate twitching while he considered his options. "Raise the bed." He tried to roll over to his back, but froze, hissing, his eyes squeezed closed.

"Vega, give us a hand." Shepard all but barked at the marine.

James jumped to his feet, rushing around the bed to Garrus' side. "Woah, take it easy, Plates. I got you."

Garrus chuffed before heaving a heavy sigh of resignation, letting James shift him over to his back, but still he hissed and groaned. "You've got to come up with a better name for me than 'Plates.'"

James grinned. "I can always call you Scars."

Shepard chuckled before whispering just loud enough for the two men to hear, "It's what you've always called him before."

"Yeah?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'll tell you about it another time," she said, nodding a little towards the waiting yeoman a few feet away. "Raise the bed up for us?"

"You got it, Ídolo." James moved back to her side of the bed and pushed the button on the railing.

She tried to help steady Garrus as the top of the bed shifted up, clenching her jaw when his mandibles snapped tight against the sides of his face. His eyes widened, and he held his breath until the movement stopped again, letting it back out in a slow, deflated groan.

She frowned at him. "You should've asked Miranda to give you more painkillers."

He glanced at her before adjusting the blankets over his lap. "I'm fine."

"No you're not." She shook her head.

"No," he said, his mandibles fluttering, "I'm not. But I'm tired of sleeping, and I can't eat if I'm asleep."

Kelly sat the trays down on Dr. Chakwas' desk before pulling the rolling tables over in front of the two of them. "The Illusive Man is asking to speak with you, but I informed him you're on bedrest." She turned back to the desk, but James already picked the trays up for her, carrying them over. Kelly lifted the lid on one before pointing to Shepard's table, and took the other one from him to set down in front of Garrus. "I'm told the repairs on the Normandy will be done by tomorrow evening, at the latest."

"Thanks, Kelly." Shepard offered her a warm smile, noting the hint of sadness in Kelly's tone. "How are you holding up?"

Kelly gave her a gloomy smile and lifted her shoulders. "Grief is a tricky thing, Commander. The loss of two of our crew has left me feeling vulnerable, and at an emotional loss. I know what I'm feeling is perfectly normal, though, and in time, it'll ease." Her eyebrows shot up a little and she held out a hand. "Still, I am perfectly capable of performing my duties, and you shouldn't hesitate at all if you need to talk to me about anything."

Shepard fought back a chuckle, amused by the yeoman's eagerness to put everyone else before herself, and nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

Kelly seemed to relax a little. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Shaking her head, Shepard said, "I don't think so, not right now at least. Thanks for the update."

"It's my pleasure. I'll leave you two to eat." Kelly turned and made her way to the door, stopping to look back over her shoulder. "If you need anything, just have EDI let me know." She left when Shepard nodded.

Dr. Chakwas returned a while later, nodding her approval when she saw Garrus and Shepard eating. When they were done, James cleared their trays for them, returning a moment later to sit back down by the sleeping, wounded woman he was so clearly falling in love with. Dr. Chakwas pushed away from her desk and came over to Shepard and Garrus' shared bed, moving from one side to the other as she looked over the monitors' readouts and scanned them both. Relief washed over Shepard when Garrus didn't refuse the painkillers the doctor offered him, and she watched his eyes glass over as they hit his system.

"I suppose you're going to insist you've spent long enough in bed?" Dr. Chakwas arched an eyebrow at Shepard.

Shepard settled back into her pillows next to Garrus. "Nope."

"No?" Dr. Chakwas raised an eyebrow, doubt crystal clear in her eyes.

"I'm staying right here with him, doc." Careful so as not to hurt him, Shepard lifted Garrus' hand in her own. "So if you think you need to pump more sedatives in me, go right on ahead."


	51. Chapter 50: Just Cruel

**Chapter 50: Just Cruel**

Shepard awoke to Miranda sitting across from her, one knee draped over the other, arms firmly crossed in front of her chest, staring at Shepard as if she were insulted the commander dared to be asleep.

"Well, that's not creepy." Shepard yawned, picking up Garrus' hand slung over her waist and carefully moving it aside so she wouldn't wake him. Sitting up, she stretched a little, testing the level of achy weakness remaining in her limbs, pleased to see much of it subsided. "What can I do for you, Miranda?"

"Mordin threatened to tranquilize me if I woke you up, despite the fact Dr. Chakwas officially released you from the med bay  _and_ I'm the XO of this ship." She tossed a glance over her shoulder at the offending salarian seated at Dr. Chakwas' desk. "I've been sitting here for the last hour waiting for you to wake up so I wouldn't miss you again. I have something important to discuss with you."

"Alright. Give me thirty minutes and I'll meet you in your quarters, unless you want to talk while I shower and eat?" Shepard smirked, expecting the operative to balk at the suggestion.

Instead, Miranda pursed her lips and seemed to consider the option. "Actually, it might not be a bad idea. You've been in bed for a couple of days, and you weren't moving very well on your own the last time you woke up."

"You're serious? You want to watch me shower?" Shepard opted for playful, taking a note out of James' playbook and waggling her eyebrows at the other woman. Thinking of the marine made her glance across the room to where she last saw him, but he was absent for the time being, his chair beside Kasumi's bed empty.

Miranda scoffed and waved a hand, standing up and pushing the chair back against the wall. "Please, Commander, I've already seen every inch of your body—inside and out."

Shepard shrugged, honestly not caring one way or the other, and slid off the bed. Miranda reached out, slipping a hand under Shepard's elbow to steady her. With her feet planted on the floor, she took a moment to evaluate her strength. Her knees felt steady, and she felt fairly certain she'd manage going up to her cabin to shower and change on her own, but she admitted she still felt weak enough for it to probably be a good idea Miranda wanted to accompany her—though she wasn't about to tell the operative so.

Nodding, she plastered a confident smile on her face. "I'm good." To prove it to herself as much as to Miranda, she tugged her arm free and crossed the floor to stand next to Mordin. Resting her hand on the salarian's shoulder, she jerked her head back towards the bed when he looked up at her. "If he wakes up while I'm gone, tell him I'll be back right back?"

"Unlikely to wake up anytime soon, but will relay message." Mordin nodded, turning his attention back to the datapad in his hand.

"Thanks, Mordin." She turned, meeting Miranda's gaze and headed for the door, her pace slow, but steady; the clacking of Miranda's heeled boots followed close behind. "I'm going to grab a protein bar to eat on the way up so my stomach doesn't get pissy while I'm in the shower. I'll eat something more after."

"Don't be surprised if the protein bar is all you can handle for the time being." Miranda stayed close by, shadowing Shepard as they made their way over to the mess counter.

Shepard waited until they stood in the elevator, her partial-breakfast unwrapped and half-eaten, before she met Miranda's gaze again and asked, "So, what's up?"

Leaning against the wall, still within easy reach, Miranda crossed her arms again. "I've created schematics for a new implant I believe will help to regulate the issues with your brain activity as well as …."

"As well as what?" Shepard asked, mumbling around a full mouth.

Miranda shifted her weight, standing up straighter, as if her entire body suddenly decided she'd just walked into a minefield, and she needed to watch her step. "As well as—I believe—help prevent Jane from seizing control."

Shepard's face froze, a million thoughts vying for her attention all at once. She felt Jane snap to attention in the back of her mind, a heavy sense of dread and hurt seeping through their connection. Was it even something she really wanted? Things had been going fairly well with Jane since the coma, and, heaven forbid, what if something happened where she  _needed_  Jane to take over again? The elevator slid open, and Shepard stepped out, still having not given Miranda any sort of response.

" _You can't agree to this."_ Jane's pleading voice took on a manic tone. " _Please don't do this to me. Don't cut out the only way I have to help you when things go to shit, Dawn. Don't force me to sit here helplessly while you die in the middle of a battle."_

"Shepard?" Miranda's tone sounded cold and sharp with an edge of wariness.

"I'm—what if I'm not sure I want that?" Shepard stopped in the doorway to her cabin, turning to look at Miranda. "I mean … is there … I don't know, a way to set certain parameters for it? Maybe add an off switch?" She polished off her protein bar while Miranda watched her, eyebrow raised.

" _Oh, gods, you're going to go through with this, aren't you?"_ Jane shifted around, her growing ire making Shepard want to squirm; an itch she couldn't reach to scratch. " _What if it blocks me out completely? I won't even be able to talk to you."_

Shepard thought, "I'm trying to find a compromise, and I don't think Miranda wants me to lose communication with you. If nothing else, you're a valuable asset in her eyes."

"An off switch? Seriously, Shepard?" Miranda shook her head, dismay tugging at the corners of her eyes. "I thought you'd leap at the chance to prevent further incidences with Jane?"

Shrugging, Shepard tossed the wrapper in the trash can next to her desk and headed for the bathroom. "Well, yeah, I don't like the idea of her seizing control against my will just whenever the mood strikes, but there's been times when her taking over saved my life." She turned on the shower before giving her attention back to Miranda. Pulling her hospital gown over her head, she said, "There may be times when I need her to take over, whether it's because I'm getting knocked unconscious, or I just need her to handle a situation she's more skilled at dealing with or something."

Miranda pursed her lips, seeming to consider this as she opened her omni-tool. Shepard didn't comment when the operative began scanning, she'd grown all too entirely use to the trio of 'doctors' invading her personal space whenever they got a wild hair up their asses. She finished undressing before holding her arms out to the sides, letting Miranda wrap up her scans. Shepard stuck her hand under the shower spray to test the temperature, turning the hot water up just a little higher before stepping inside the stall.

"I suppose you have a point." Miranda raised her voice to be heard over the water, and when Shepard glanced through the glass, she saw the other woman had turned to rest her hip against the edge of the sink, still working at her omni-tool. "I'll see what adjustments I can make to the schematics, but I'm afraid we'll need to return to the Lazarus Project lab in order for me to gather the necessary components. Which means …."

" _No! I don't want to go back there."_ The emotions pouring off of Jane tilted more and more toward crazed panic. " _If we go back there, there's no way I'm going to be able to stay calm, and that's what you want, right? To keep me calm? That lab is where it all happened …."_

"Jane," Shepard thought, doing her best to give her words a soothing quality, "you've faced far worse in your life, and lived through it all again and again. Yes, the Lazarus Project sucked, a complete hell for you, but you're stronger than this. If I don't let Miranda help me, with what Dr. Chakwas said, I'm not going to make it to the end of this war. Hell, I might not make it to the collector base."

"Which means you'll need to talk to the Illusive Man first?" She asked, squeezing shampoo out into her hand before working it through her hair.

"Exactly."

"Well, he hasn't cut us off yet, and he still thinks he has the upperhand with me, so I don't think he'll tell you no." Shepard tilted her head back, rinsing her hair, the scent of the olive oil shampoo surrounding her, heavy in the steam. "You're still sending him reports, right?"

" _Okay … fair enough, but what's happening to you now isn't about something I've done. It's not about me taking over. It's about you vampiring up the others."_

Jane wasn't wrong, and Shepard knew it, but the thought of being forced inside with all of those heart-wrenching wails of agony and the insane chattering of the others made her blood run ice cold in her veins. If there was something Miranda could do to make sure it didn't happen at Jane's whim … well, she didn't feel inclined to tell the operative 'no'.

"Yes, but only the most basic reports. Which, of course, he isn't pleased with." After a moment, Miranda added, "I'm more concerned he'll want to know exactly what the new implants are for and possibly want to view the schematics himself before signing off on them."

Shepard took a deep breath, picking up the bottle of conditioner. "Well, he already knows about Jane. Whether or not he fully believes she exists, he received reports on her before I gave the order to unshackle EDI."

"If I admit these implants have anything to do with Jane, it will be as good as confirming her existence for him." The soft sound of Miranda's snort barely reached Shepard's ears. "God knows he'll want me to fully study Jane and decide what usefulness she can provide humanity. I don't want to think about what experiments or procedures he might ask me to perform."

" _No. No, no, no. No more cutting and scraping. Oh, gods, the drilling and … no! You know what he'll do with us? He's going to turn us into a monster; strap us down someplace where we'll be indoctrinated while he rips out all of our organs and replaces them with reaper tech."_

Shepard put her hands against the shower wall to brace herself, the flood of emotions coming from Jane and the others nearly enough to knock her off her feet in her already weakened state. She started taking deep, steady breaths, forcing herself to focus on the meditation exercises Thane taught her. Acknowledge and let go. Acknowledge and let go. Acknowle—Miranda ripped the shower door opened so fast, it slammed into the wall half a second before a foul smell assaulted Shepard's nostrils. Coughing, she turned her head away from the odor, gasping for a breath of clean air, but the smell followed her.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." Miranda's voice drifted on the edges of Shepard's consciousness. "That was foolish of me." She pressed a cool hand between Shepard's shoulder blades.

"Brainwave activity has stabilized." EDI's voice filled the bathroom.

"It's not going to matter soon, Miranda." Shepard nudged away the vial of smelling salts, turning her head to meet Miranda's gaze. "He'll be gone, and you'll be leading Cerberus. Unless you've changed your mind?"

"No, I'm committed to this course of action." The operative's brow creased, and she gave a decisive shake of her head. "I'm not entirely sure it's going to work the way we hope it will, but I'm determined to try. After everything I've seen so far, and everything you've told me is to come … how can I not?"

Shepard let the silence linger between them for a couple of seconds before nodding and waving the other woman away, reaching for the door to the shower stall to pull it closed behind her. As she rinsed the conditioner from her hair, she whispered an apology to Jane. What else could she really do? Jane didn't respond, devolving into a thick, nasty cloud of snarling fear and anger in the back of Shepard's mind.

Grabbing her washcloth, she squirted body wash on it and worked it into a lather. "So, assuming it all works out and we get the components you need, how long will it take you to put it all together?" She started with her face, squeezing her eyes closed as she scrubbed her skin clean.

"No more than a couple of days with Mordin's assistance, and then it should only take a few hours at most to perform the procedures and run the necessary tests to ensure they're working. It'll require you to spend—at the very least—twenty-four hours in the med bay to recover. I say 'at least', because I know you won't abide by the preferred forty-eight."

Shepard snorted, moving on to wash and rinse the rest of herself before turning off the shower. "Alright. If you can get permission, we'll head to the Lazarus station after we head back to the Shadow Broker's ship. I want to touch base with Grundan Krul, and speak with Feron myself." She opened the shower door, grabbing a towel and rubbing it over her head before wrapping it around herself and stepping out onto the mat. "How are the repairs coming on the Normandy?"

"We should be cleared for takeoff within two hours." Miranda's gaze swept over Shepard as she finished toweling herself dry. "I'm sorry, but I need to scan you again. How are you feeling?" Miranda opened her omni-tool without waiting for a response.

"Not horrible." Once the scan finished, she hung her towel up on the rack and slipped on her robe, moving to the sink to brush her teeth and hair.

Miranda scoffed, meeting Shepard's gaze in the foggy mirror and cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm not in any pain, but I do still feel a little worn out." Shepard jerked her shoulders in a quick shrug. "It's not too bad, though. I can march into battle if I need to, that's all that matters."

"Hardly." Miranda all but rolled her eyes. "Being able to march into battle and  _survive_  is what matters, Shepard. You're not  _just_  a marine, regardless of how you view yourself. It's not enough for you to fight in this war, the galaxy needs you to  _win_  this war."

Shepard held Miranda's gaze in the reflection for a minute. "I know. Trust me, gods do I know."

Miranda frowned and lowered her gaze. She didn't say anything else until Shepard finished in the bathroom and moved into her cabin to get dressed. "I'm sorry about Anderson, and I'm sorry the Council is full of idiots."

Shepard laughed, a sudden bark of a sound cutting off just as quickly as it started. "Yeah. Well, at least this time they're willing to admit—even if only informally—the reapers are real." She snapped her bra into place and stepped into a pair of panties, pulling them up over her hips. "I don't know what's going to happen to Anderson." She swallowed against the knot forming in her throat and took in a slow, deep breath to fight back the sting of tears biting at her eyes.

Sliding her shirt down over her head, she stuck her arms through the sleeves and tugged it down into place before pulling on her pants. "I can't let him stay on the Citadel forever, though." She picked up her socks and grabbed her boots before sitting on the edge of the bed. "Near the end of the war, the reapers hit the Citadel hard, killing everyone on the station and moving it to Earth space." She pulled on her socks and slipped her feet into her boots, bending over to tie the laces even as she looked up to meet Miranda's gaze. "That might happen even sooner now, if they know the Alliance has already located the plans for the Crucible and begun construction."

"Are you proposing we break the councilor out of prison?" The hint of a smile toyed with Miranda's mouth, one of her perfect eyebrows arching up toward her hairline.

Shepard smirked but didn't answer, standing up and making her way back to the bathroom instead. She hung up her robe before gathering her towel and the hospital gown, stuffing them through the laundry chute before making her way to the cabin door.

Miranda followed her out and into the elevator, crossing her arms over her chest. "Maybe now Grundan Krul has taken over being the Shadow Broker he can find a way to get Anderson released."

Shepard lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug and nodded. "It's worth a try."

Thane waited just outside the elevator on the third deck, his hands tucked behind his back, lips spread in a soft smile. Shepard lit up when she saw him, stepping off the elevator and into his arms. Wrapping her hands around his neck, she noticed Miranda wordlessly slinking off, apparently content to leave Shepard under Thane's watchful gaze.

She kissed him, soaking in the feel of his hands on her hips. "Hey, you. I hear I have you to thank for dragging the ground teams back to the Normandy. My hero."

He chuckled, a light raspy sound, making the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand on end in the most pleasant way. "Things were already wrapping up by the time we boarded the ship, really, it was little more than a matter of finding the teams and helping the wounded back to the shuttles." His hands slid around to the small of her back, easing her in a little closer to him. "How are you, siha? I came to sit with you, but each time you were sleeping."

"I'm feeling worn down, but better than I did the first time I woke up. Miranda just told me she's been working on schematics for more implants she thinks will help." She leaned her forehead against his and whispered, "Thank you for bringing Garrus back to me."

He lifted a hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing over her face. "How is he? I asked Dr. Chakwas, but she won't tell me anything. When I found them, Miranda was working to restart his heart."

She took in a long, steadying breath. "Not good. The doctor thinks he'll recover, but he may have some permanent neurological damage. Last I talked to her, she said it's still too soon to tell."

"Garrus is strong," Thane said, shifting to brush his lips across her forehead, "if there's even a chance he'll recover completely, I have faith he will."

Shepard pulled back to smile at him and kissed him again. "Thank you. I hope you're right. We've got a long, ugly road ahead of us, and I need him at my six."

He smiled at her, the same smile she remembered her father giving her once upon a time when she was being stubborn and foolish. "And, you love him. It pains you to see him suffering, and it'd tear you apart to lose him."

Tears welled up in her eyes and she blinked, doing her best to push them away. She didn't trust her voice not to crack, so she didn't speak, only nodding. He pulled her against his chest, his arms wrapping around her entirely, and she hid her face in the crook of his neck. A few moments, several shuddering breaths, and a handful of rogue tears later, she pulled back and wiped her eyes dry.

"Have you eaten?" His hand rubbed idle circles against her back.

"Just a protein bar on my way up to the cabin to get cleaned up." She sniffed, pulling in a calming breath. "I'll grab another one on my way back to the med bay, I don't want him to wake up while I'm gone."

"Go, sit with him." Thane tilted his head toward the med bay. "I'll bring you something to eat."

She nodded again and stepped back from him, letting her hands drag down his arms in her retreat, squeezing his fingers before she pulled away completely. She made her way back to the med bay, tension in her chest loosening the moment she laid eyes on the still-sleeping turian. In her absence, Dr. Chakwas replaced Mordin, and James returned, sitting once again at Kasumi's side. Dr. Chakwas smiled at her but didn't speak right away.

Shepard stopped next to the bed, hovering over Garrus for a moment. The way he lay left his neck and lower arm exposed, giving her a clear view of the lightning bolt shaped scars tracing over the exposed hide along his throat, the crease of his elbow, and down lower along his wrist and fingers. The scars, and the burns along the edges of his plates weren't as inflamed and faded from a dark, almost black shade of blue to a lighter, bruise-like hue. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully, his breathing strong and steady through his faint snore.

"Commander?" Dr. Chakwas called out to her, barely above a whisper, and waved Shepard over when she glanced up.

Shepard crossed the floor to lean her hip against the doctor's desk. She'd already begun feeling fatigued, body urging her to crawl back into bed next to Garrus, but she wasn't quite ready to lay down again.

Dr. Chakwas pushed away from the desk, turning her chair a little toward Shepard before leaning back. Keeping her voice low, she said, "Miranda sent me the scans she took before and after your shower. I'm very pleased to see the activity has decreased significantly, even under the duress Miranda said she caused, compared to when you first collapsed. How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm already tired of people asking me how I'm feeling." Shepard lifted a corner of her mouth, taking the bite out of her sarcasm.

Dr. Chakwas snorted and gave her a catty look, one only the doctor could get away with. "Well, perhaps you should hang a sign around your neck." The corners around her eyes softened and she studied Shepard for a moment. "You seem to be moving much better. Are you experiencing any pain or muscle weakness?"

"I'm not in any pain, but yeah, I still feel a little weak—and beyond all reason—tired." Shepard shook her head and sighed.

Dr. Chakwas nodded, seeming to accept Shepard's symptoms as par for the course. "Has Miranda spoken to you yet about the schematics she's working on?"

"Yeah, we just had that discussion." Shepard raked her fingers through her wet hair, swallowing back her fear of the whole thing causing Jane to regress. "She's going to make some adjustments and contact the Illusive Man to see if he'll sign off on her getting what she needs from the Lazarus lab."

"Good." Dr. Chakwas smiled and reached out, resting her hand on Shepard's forearm. "I'm glad to hear you're willing to work with her. I was afraid you might refuse after everything Jane experienced during the Lazarus Project. I hate to admit it, but Miranda can do far more for you than I can." She squeezed Shepard's arm before letting go. "Jane, how are you feeling about this development?"

" _It doesn't really matter, does it? It's Dawn's body, and she's going to do whatever she wants with it, regardless of how I feel."_ Jane said, and Shepard repeated it for the doctor.

The med bay door opened and Thane stepped inside, carrying a covered tray. Shepard forced a smile on her face and held up a finger. He dipped his head to her, carrying the tray over to the bedside table, turning his back on her and the doctor; though Shepard knew he still heard them just fine.

Dr. Chakwas frowned, wise eyes studying Shepard. "I think it does matter. You might not be given the option of vetoing Dawn's choices, but I think your opinion is something we all wish to consider."

" _Alright. My opinion is: going back to the Lazarus lab is unnecessary and guaranteed to put a serious strain on me when I'm already struggling like hell to keep it together."_ Jane geared up for a lengthy speech, and Shepard resigned herself to the task of acting as, what she liked to call 'Speaker for the Voices in My Head'. " _I'm sure Miranda can find what she needs somewhere else, and she can find a way to do it without involving the Illusive Man, who, as she just so eloquently pointed out, will want to know what they're for—which will lead to him wanting to carve us up to see what makes us tick."_

Shepard fought off a shudder, as she continued to give voice to Jane's words. " _Even if Dawn is right and it won't matter much longer because he'll be out of the picture, we don't know what other power players there are in Cerberus, and what information they might glean about us before the Illusive Man is removed. It's dangerous. It's already dangerous he knows I exist, but at least his information is limited enough to leave room for speculation and doubt."_

Jane paused, seeming to gather her thoughts and reign in her thundercloud of emotions, carefully walling them away before she spoke again. " _I get we need something to keep Dawn's brain from burning out now that she's merged with some of the others or whatever, but … adding in something to cage me further is just cruel and proves nothing I do to try to make up for my past behavior will ever matter, and I'll never be able to win anyone's trust. Not really."_

"I don't think your concerns about dealing with the Illusive Man or returning to the Lazarus lab are unwarranted." Dr. Chakwas took a deep breath, her shoulders pulling back as she nodded. "I'll speak with Miranda. Perhaps we can find a way around those two obstacles."

"I asked Miranda to add some way of still allowing Jane to take control under certain conditions, like when the blast knocked me out, or if I decide I need her to for some reason." Shepard shrugged. "I hoped Jane might see it as a compromise, and I think it's a rational decision, considering where I'd be if Jane hadn't kept my body going while I was comatose."

"I agree, Commander." Dr. Chakwas nodded. "And I'd like you to give some thought to the possibility of allowing Jane to come out—under controlled conditions—for short periods of time on a regular basis." She held up a hand when Shepard's jaw dropped. "I understand it forces you to endure a frightening, hostile environment while she's in control, but I'm not talking about days at a time. An hour or two, perhaps, once or twice a week. Consider it a pressure valve for Jane, something to help keep her level-headed and in control of herself. I think you'll find it'll benefit the both of you."

Hope and longing, so blindingly acute it hurt, flooded Shepard through the link she shared with Jane. The voice in her head didn't speak, though, her thoughts on the matter were more than clear. It was as if Jane held her breath, afraid to say anything at all, while Shepard weighed the doctor's words. It made sense, sure, Shepard saw that, but her skin crawled with just the phantom of the memory of those voices in the dark, desperate place hidden away in her mind.

She licked her lips, feeling as if she balanced on the precipice of a cliff. Jutting out over a canyon. Or running lava. Maybe a canyon filled with lava. "I—I'll give it some thought."

"That's all I ask." Dr. Chakwas smiled, glancing over her shoulder at Thane waiting patiently next to the tray. "Why don't you go ahead and eat, you need to build up your strength."

Shepard sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "I wanted to check in with Kasumi before I eat. After breakfast, I think I'm going to lay back down."

"Sounds good, Commander." Dr. Chakwas turned to her desk, resuming her work.

Shepard made her way over to the side of Kasumi's bed, doing her best to shove away the daunting ideas the doctor proposed, wanting to examine them at a later time; alone. She felt immense gratitude Jane remained silent on the topic, she didn't think she could deal with anything else just then. Stopping a couple of feet from James' chair. The marine flashed her a smile before turning his attention back to the woman laid out on the bed. Kasumi started to push herself up, but both James and Shepard urged her back down when she winced and groaned.

"Take it easy, lady. You've got one hell of a gut wound, and your leg's tore up pretty bad, too. You don't need to be trying to sit up just to talk to me." Shepard dropped her hand to Kasumi's knee when the thief nodded and settled back against her pillows. "You're looking a lot better, though. Not like you're knocking on Death's door." She shook her head. "You scared the shit out of me."

"You and me both, Commander." James glanced up at her again, and she swore he looked five years older than he did when she sent him down with Garrus and the others to take out the Shadow Broker.

"Dr. Chakwas said I'm not going to be able to join in on any missions for several weeks." Kasumi's lips pressed together in a tight line.

Shepard shrugged, brushing aside the statement. "Don't worry about it. You just worry about healing, alright?"

Kasumi's mouth relaxed a little and she nodded. "She also said she's taking the catheter out tomorrow and I'll have to start walking to the bathroom." Her upper lip twitched up beneath her nose, and her brow furrowed. "I'm starting to understand why you complain so much when you're in here."

Shepard heard a soft snort and barely suppressed chuckle coming from Dr. Chakwas' direction, but ignored it, instead focusing her smile on Kasumi. "She's a tyrant." She squeezed Kasumi's knee and patted James on the shoulder. "I've got to sit back down." They both nodded to her and she took a couple of steps away before turning back around to look at Kasumi, her dark hair framing her face, exposed, brown eyes sparkling in the light. "Hey Kasumi?" She waited for the other woman to look at her before grinning. "You're really pretty when you're not hiding under your hood."

Kasumi smiled, giving Shepard a flippant wave of her hand. "Yeah, but where's the mystique?"

Shepard chuckled and made her way back over to the bed she'd been sharing with Garrus. The turian still slept, though his breaths came a little lighter, and every so often he rumbled deep in his chest. She thought it must mean his painkillers were wearing off, but she knew Dr. Chakwas would be keeping an eye on when he could have another dose. Thane had taken up a chair next to her side of the bed.

She eased herself up on the edge of the bed, trying like hell to not wake Garrus. Thane stood and slid the table closer to her before tucking his hands behind his back, staying within easy whispering distance. She eyed the tray, noting he'd opted to bring her tea, fresh fruit, and what looked like cheese—no doubt both the fruit and cheese were recently acquired on Illium. She was glad to see Miranda thought to have the ship restocked while it underwent repairs.

Shepard ate maybe a quarter of what Thane brought her before letting go of a heavy sigh. "I'm not going to be able to finish all of this." She pouted her lips. "Normally, I'd eat this, the protein bar, and still have room for half a potroast. Thank whatever gods I don't need to use my biotics anytime real soon." She grinned when her theatrics earned her a light chuckle. After eating a few more bites, she nudged the tray a little closer to him. "You want this?"

He dipped his head, picking up her fork and spearing a piece of fruit. "You seem to be recovering well, perhaps your appetite will return soon, too."

Garrus groaned behind her, and Shepard twisted to look over her shoulder at him. His eyelids fluttered open, his gaze drifting until it locked on to hers. Clamping his jaw down on another groan, his mandibles pulled in tight. He shifted a little, moving off his side and more onto his back, working his arm out from under him to reach over and wrap his hand around her hip.

She smiled at him, turning a little more to lift a leg up on the mattress. "Hey, want me to call over Dr. Chakwas? Or throw food at her head?"

"I heard that." The sound of the doctor's chair sliding away from her desk accompanied her motherly retort.

Garrus chuffed, his mandibles flaring before snapping back down against his face. He brushed aside her questions, though, and asked his own, "You're still here?"

"Of course I am." She wrapped her fingers around his, holding them loosely in her hand before shrugging. "Well, I left to take a shower and put on some real clothes, but then I came right back."

"Good, you were starting to smell." His mandibles fluttered, but the spark of humor died in his eyes almost as soon as it flared to life.

She scoffed but smirked. Her attention turned to Dr. Chakwas as she appeared next to Garrus, omni-tool open and scanning. Scrutinizing the doctor's every expression, Shepard let a sigh of relief seep out of her, echoing what she saw in Dr. Chakwas' eyes. Garrus would pull through.

Dr. Chakwas smiled down at the turian before glancing up, gaze going straight to Thane. "Do you mind giving us a hand getting him to the restroom. I need to see how he walks, and be sure his kidneys are processing as they should."

"Of course." Thane set the fork down along the edge of the plate and started to move around the table.

"Hey, I got him, doc. I need to stretch my legs anyway," James said, drawing everyone's attention to him and stopping Thane in his tracks. Standing and making his way over, he looked at Thane before jerking his head toward Shepard. "Stay with her, she's starting to look like she might fall over again."

She narrowed her eyes to glare at James. "I do not."

He just chuckled, but a moment later Dr. Chakwas stepped around the bed to scan Shepard. She gave the doctor a trill of frustration and rolled her eyes, but let her get on with her scans.

Dr. Chakwas pursed her lips and closed her omni-tool. "Your activity levels are holding, for now. Still, lying down and resting isn't a bad idea. Especially if you intend to spend all of your time in here while Garrus sleeps anyway."

Shepard grunted noncommittally, already planning to lay back down and having already said as much to the doctor, but not wanting to make her job too easy. Dr. Chakwas cocked an eyebrow, but moved back over to unhook Garrus from all of the machines and help James get him on his feet. The doctor held back a couple of steps, watching Garrus' gait as he walked, and Shepard wondered if it didn't seem like he was listing to the side just a little.

Turning back to Thane, she caught him watching Garrus, too, his lips tugging down ever so slightly at the corners. After a moment, he returned his attention to her and his lips shifted upward as he picked up the fork again. Wrapping her palms around the cooling mug of tea, she lifted it to her mouth, breathing in the light, fruity scent before taking a swallow. She must've looked more exhausted than she realized, though, because a moment later he moved around the table to work the cup free from her hand and set it on the tray.

With gentle fingers, he coaxed her to lie back on the bed before pulling her boots from her feet, tucking them under the edge of the bed. He tugged the blankets up over her before perching next to her hip. Brushing still-damp hair out of her face, he leaned down. Her eyes fluttered closed when he kissed her, but when his lips disappeared, her eyes refused to open again.


	52. Chapter 51: Running Out of Time

**Chapter 51: Running Out of Time**

Shepard stepped out of the shuttle, Thane at her right and Miranda at her left. Behind her, Legion and Lia waited for her to move forward. They'd brought the shuttle in as close to the entrance as possible, but they still had a bit of a hike ahead of them to reach the new Broker's offices, and Shepard wasn't looking forward to it at all. Still, she kept her face neutral and did her best to hold her head high and keep her shoulders back. Everyone on her team knew she'd taken a blow, though they didn't all understand exactly what was wrong with her, they all watched her with wary eyes.

She just wanted to get in, check on things, and get out. Torn between duty and Garrus, who remained in the Normandy's med bay, she sucked it up and started walking. A handful of guards, those lucky enough or smart enough to avoid her ground teams during the coup, swore themselves to Grundan Krul once the former Shadow Broker fell. If the change in regime bothered them, they didn't let it show in the slightest, nodding their heads at Shepard when her team finally approached the doors.

Fighting to keep her breathing steady, armor feeling as if it weighed three times more than usual, she made her way into the ship. Thane offered her his arm, making it seem like nothing more than her lover wanting to escort her, but she thought it probably had more to do with strain showing through on her face. She smiled at him, feeling grateful for the subtle offer of support, and looped her arm through his, letting him take a little of her weight. It would've been nice to leave her armor behind, but with things still settling into place for Grundan Krul, and with so many armed guards left over from the yahg's rule as Shadow Broker, she didn't dare extend that trust just yet.

Grundan Krul appeared on the security vid screen just outside the door. The faint smile on the, normally expressionless, batarian's face spoke volumes. "Shepard. Glad to see you're back on your feet. Come inside."

Flashing a smile at the screen, she nodded, stepping through the door when it slid open. She stopped, taking a minute to glance around the room, finding the room looking exactly as it did in the memories skittering through her brain—everything except the fact Grundan Krul stood at the far terminal instead of Liara. The door at the back of the room opened, and Feron walked out, gaze on a datapad in his hand. He glanced up, stopping in his tracks when he saw Shepard. After a tense moment, his gaze shifted to Grundan Krul, and he started walking again, making his way down the stairs and over to the batarian.

" _What was that?"_ Jane asked, wariness creeping in around the edges of Shepard's consciousness.

"I'm not sure," Shepard thought, "let's find out."

Shepard started walking again, crossing the floor with her team to stand in front of Grundan Krul and Feron. Reaching out, she offered her hand to the new Shadow Broker, grinning when he accepted the gesture, taking her hand in his own to shake. "What have you learned?"

"I have a terminal over here set up for you with various reports," he said, turning to point at a console in the corner. "Information on the collectors, the Council, The Dissension … everything I thought you might be interested in that I've come across so far."

Jane let out a wistful sigh in the back of Shepard's head. " _Well, he definitely works fast. Not Liara, but still …."_

"Fantastic." Shepard gave him a quick nod, gaze shifting to the drell next to him and then back. "Any trouble settling in?"

Grundan Krul caught Feron's gaze and jerked his head toward the back of the room. Feron dipped his head, handing the datapad to his boss, and then he smiled politely at Shepard and the others before turning and walking away. They watched him until he disappeared back through the door he came in from.

Grundan Krul turned his attention back to Shepard and gave her a slight nod. "There hasn't been any problems. These people don't care who pays them, just so long as they're getting paid."

"Are you sure?" She arched an eyebrow. "Everyone else was loyal enough to die defending the old Broker and his ship."

"If they didn't, and we lost the fight, they'd be killed anyway—or tortured." He shrugged, just a brief upward twitch of his shoulder.

She sucked in a big breath and nodded. "Fair enough. So, Miranda suggested I should probably see if there's something you can do with your magic network to get Anderson released," she said and then smirked, "before I plan a jailbreak."

He jerked his head toward the terminal he pointed out a moment before. Raising an eyebrow, she glanced over her shoulder before making her way over to the terminal. As she walked away, she overheard Miranda asking him if he could acquire the items on her list.

Shepard activated the console and clicked on the first folder labeled 'The Council'. Skimming through the first file, her jaw dropped as she realized what exactly she was looking at. The horde of Shepards buzzed in the back of her head, making her jittery with excitement and anticipation. The Shadow Broker possessed a transcribed audio recording from the Council Chambers; mundane conversation at first—discussions of the active businesses on the Citadel—but then … then they began discussing the reapers.

Dear gods, Grundan Krul found her evidence the Council fully believed Sovereign wasn't a geth construct, but an ancient AI not only responsible for the downfall of the protheans but also intent on destroying organics for the next harvest. They debated the likelihood of their being other reapers, and if there were other reapers, whether or not they actually intended to attack the Milky Way, but clearly they believed Sovereign was one. The icing on the cake: they discussed their willful and intentional plans to hide the truth from everyone else.

With just the one recording, she could blackmail the Council into releasing Anderson if she decided to. She might even be able to work it so they dropped her charges, too. She'd be on their permanent shit-list, though, no matter what, and who knew what they might do in retaliation? Hell, it might even make matters worse, if it made them suspicious enough to start trying to connect the Shadow Broker to Shepard, and they succeeded, it might jeopardize the war efforts.

" _So we leave the charges against you out of this. They're irrelevant right now, we need to focus on defeating the collectors."_ Jane's tone took on an almost reassuring tint. " _We'll deal with the charges later, just like every other time. And just like every other time, when the reapers show up, they'll come to us for help."_

"With everything going awry on the Citadel over Anderson and the mess with The Dissension, it's feasible the Shadow Broker would want Anderson released without it having anything to do with me," Shepard whispered, half to herself and half to Jane.

" _Exactly,"_ Jane said. " _It'll just be seen as a political maneuver, not even really about Anderson, but humanity's representative on the Council."_

Shepard opened the next file; another recording from the Council discussing Shepard's request to have the Council shut down the Alpha Relay and their decision to oblige her. The next file held images of Tevos meeting with Shepard and Samara along with a transcript of the conversation that took place during the visit, including once again, a confession that Sovereign was a reaper and the Council concealed the truth.

She stopped reading, she'd seen all she needed to see for the time being. The rest she'd have him forward to her, where she could read at her leisure back in bed at Garrus' side. Taking a deep breath, she glanced over her shoulder at Grundan Krul, flashing the batarian a shit-eating grin. One corner of his mouth twitched up in a half smile, and he started over to her, Thane and Miranda walking with him.

"Use it. Every scrap if that's what it takes. Get Anderson out of there." She shifted her weight to one hip and leaned against the console. "Forward this all to me, if you don't mind? I can't stay long, I need to get back to Garrus."

Grundan Krul nodded, moving to the console when she stepped aside. "How is he?"

Shepard sighed, taking Thane's hand when he held his out to her. "He's recovering. Dr. Chakwas seems optimistic about a full recovery, but he's still not moving around very well, and I'm fairly sure he's in more pain than he's admitting."

" _Of course he is, hell, he probably learned it from watching us."_ Jane snorted.

Making a soft, throaty noise almost sounding like a laugh, Grundan Krul nodded. "Sounds like Archangel." Pulling an OSD from his pocket, he plugged it into the console. "There's a lot here, I'm putting it on OSD, but if I find anything else urgent I'll forward it to you. You know, there's probably enough here I can push to have your charges cleared, too."

The words 'do it'danced on the tip of her tongue, but she stopped, shaking her head instead. "It's too risky. The Shadow Broker pushing for Anderson's release is one thing, having the Shadow Broker push for both Anderson and myself … it'll make people suspicious … your information brokers … the Council. We don't want to give anyone any reason to link you back to me, or suspect there's someone different in charge here. I'll deal with it." She glanced at Miranda and Thane before turning her attention back to Grundan Krul. "For now, all that matters is easing the tension on the Citadel and getting humanity's leader back in the game. Things with The Dissension are making things bad enough, but with riots over Anderson's arrest … we need people focused on getting ready for war, not starting new wars. And if we're going to win this war,  _we need_ Anderson."

He turned his attention back to transferring data to the OSD. "Udina's replaced him on the Council. At least for the time being."

She sucked in a deep breath, filling her lungs with the metallic tang of recycled ship air and ozone. "Of course he has." She leaned against Thane, threading her arm through his. "We're going to go talk to Feron. I want to get a feel for him in this lifetime." She glanced around, realizing her party was two people short. "Where's Lia and Legion?"

"They've gone to the server room." Grundan Krul nodded his head toward the door they'd come in through. "Legion's transferring everything he has on the reapers and collectors to the system. In exchange, he's looking for everything the former Shadow Broker had on the geth and heretic movements."

Shepard nodded. "Good."

"If you don't mind, Commander," Miranda said, "I'll leave the two of you to speak with Feron. I want to read what we have on Cerberus while we're here so I know what to ask Grundan Krul to keep an eye out for."

"Sure." Shepard glanced at Thane, and the two of them made their way to the back where Feron disappeared earlier.

They found him standing in the video archives, screen opened before him playing a recording of two asari and a human—none of which Shepard recognized—talking together on the Citadel. He glanced over his shoulder as they approached before turning and stepping down from the archive. His gaze shifted from Shepard to Thane, dipping his head to the other drell as he came to a stop in front of them. She watched him, studying his every move, and she could tell Jane did the same.

Feron returned his focus to her and dipped his head again. "Shepard. I've been instructed to help you locate whatever information you ask for. Is there something I can help you find?"

She smiled and looked over her shoulder back toward the couch. "Actually, I just wanted to talk to you for a little while. If it's alright?"

"Oh." Feron gestured at the couches. "Of course."

"I'm told you locked yourself away and didn't join in the fight when my teams showed up," Shepard said once they'd settled onto the couch. "Care to tell me why that is?"

Feron scoffed, following it up with a light chuckle. "You mean besides not wanting to die?"

" _He's not as … fragile,"_ Jane said.

"Of course not, he wasn't tortured for two years," Shepard thought.

" _I realize that, Dawn. I'm just saying because of this, he's not the same person. I'm not sure what to expect from him, and Garrus needs to know he can be trusted. We need to know."_ Jane sounded mildly annoyed at having to explain herself.

"Yes," Shepard said, letting her frank tone linger in the air for a moment. "I doubt anyone here wanted to die, yet most still fought or tried to flee. You did neither. You hid in a room and waited for my team to find you. Why is that?" She stared at him, holding him pinned with her gaze.

Feron shifted a little, pushing himself up a little straighter on the couch and he licked his lips. "I thought you'd be with them."

She arched an eyebrow. "You were hiding from me?"

He held out a conciliatory hand. "I was waiting for you."

" _Waiting for you?"_ Jane shifted around, almost as if she tried to get closer to the drell. " _Why was he waiting for you?"_

Shepard leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "And why would you be waiting for me?"

"When you died, the collectors made an agreement with the Shadow Broker for your body. He learned Garrus Vakarian was also searching for you, so he sent me to try and find Vakarian. The Broker wanted me to lead Vakarian away from you while the Blue Suns secured your body for the collectors." Feron mimicked her posture, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands. "I was prepared to betray the Shadow Broker and help Vakarian get you some place safe, but by the time I arrived at his last known location, he'd already taken out the mercs and was on his way to Cerberus."

"Why did you plan to help Garrus instead of following your orders?" Thane asked, his voice all still waters and smooth silk.

Feron blinked, both sets of eyelids fluttering closed in apparent surprise. "The reapers, of course." He glanced at Shepard before turning his gaze back to Thane. "The Council may be officially denying their existence, but we know they don't truly believe Sovereign was a geth flagship. Every bit of evidence Shepard collected, her warning messages … the videos she sent out to her team when she knew …."

"When I knew I was going to die. Speak plainly, Feron." Shepard sat back and settled her hand on Thane's knee. "There's nothing you can say here I wouldn't tell Thane myself, if I haven't told him already. My squad is aware of Jane, and I have no doubts the Shadow Broker knew, too."

"Very well." Feron spread his hands and turned his attention back to Thane. "It all ended up in the Shadow Broker's archives. We know the reapers are real, we know they're on their way." He sat back, leaning against the couch cushion. "If the galaxy stands a chance against that threat, I think it's clear Shepard needs to be fighting the reapers and not laying dead on a slab, being subjected to whatever experimentation the collectors had in mind."

He paused, his lips parted to speak as he shifted his gaze from Thane to Shepard. "I can't say I believed everything you said in your videos, not at first, but Vakarian seemed determined to succeed where Dr. T'Soni would no longer be able to. He believed Cerberus could bring you back and you'd win this war. I thought if there was a chance he could be right, I couldn't stand in his way. And … I'm an information broker, human trafficking isn't supposed to be a part of my job."

"So, if you returned to the Shadow Broker empty handed, why are you still here? I doubt he was the forgiving type." A part of her wanted to add in the fact she knew exactly how unforgiving the old Shadow Broker was, having seen the memories of Feron strapped to a chair being tortured with electrical shocks, even then she fought to keep his pained groans from filling her ears and his body, arched in agony, from taking over her vision.

" _It's the others, the one's you consumed."_ Bitterness seethed just below the surface, slipping free of Jane to settle into the pit of Shepard's stomach. " _They're still fighting back somewhere inside of you … just not in here with the rest of us."_

"My orders were to lead Garrus away, but he'd already succeeded by the time I arrived. I wasn't at fault, the Broker understood this. There was no actual betrayal for the Shadow Broker to learn about." Feron waved a hand. "He directed his anger at those who failed to defeat Vakarian and bring your body to him. I quickly made myself useful again, collecting information on Cerberus in an attempt to locate you. At least as far as he knew."

"And you're comfortable with what's happened?" Shepard swallowed, forcing the bile wanting to work its way up her throat back down. "The old Shadow Broker being killed and someone else taking his place?"

Feron spread his hands apart, turning his palms out. "Grundan Krul seems more than capable of filling the position—with help, of course. I get to keep my job, and help you prepare the galaxy for the arrival of the reapers."

" _Well, he knows Grundan Krul's name, whether he learned through spying on us, or because Grundan Krul told him it doesn't matter."_ Jane sighed, her bitterness being replaced with an exhausted, cynical weight over Shepard's shoulders. " _He knows, which means if he wanted to, he can reveal it to the galaxy, so we better damn well trust him if we want the Shadow Broker to stay in business and working for us. Who can say about the other's who stuck around?"_

Shepard pushed herself to the edge of the couch. "Thank you, Feron. We're glad to have you as a part of the team." Rising to her feet, she extended her hand to the drell.

" _We're trusting him?"_ Jane asked.

"We're trusting him," Shepard thought.

He smiled and stood, too, shaking her hand with surprising enthusiasm. "Thank you, Shepard. If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask." Turning to Thane, he tucked his hands behind his back and bowed.

Thane returned the gesture before offering his arm to Shepard. She gave Feron one last smile before slipping her arm through Thane's. She let him lead her away from the other drell, back through the door, and down the stairs, supporting some of her weight as they went. Lia and Legion huddled together off to the side of the room, looking over a console, and Miranda stood with Grundan Krul still at the one Shepard vacated earlier.

"You're tired, siha," Thane said in a hushed tone as they made their way over to Grundan Krul. "Will we be returning to the Normandy now?"

"Yeah." She nodded and squeezed his arm. "Yeah, we're heading back."

Grundan Krul glanced over his shoulder as they approached and then turned to face Shepard fully, holding out an OSD. "I'll let you know as soon as I have word Anderson's been released."

She took the OSD from him and slipped it inside her armor. "Thanks, Grundan Krul." She held her hand out to him, letting go of Thane to grasp the batarian's upper arm with her other hand when he accepted the first to shake.

"No, thank you for trusting me with this, Shepard." He let go of her hand and gave her a half smile. "Take care of Archangel for me."

"You got it," she said with a grin. Turning her attention to Miranda, she said, "I'm ready to head back to the Normandy. Are you good to go, or do you need more time?"

"Ah." Miranda glanced at Shepard and paused, her eyes narrowing and her lips pursing. She started to reach for her omni-tool, no doubt to start scanning her patient, but stopped when Shepard glared at her in warning. "I'm ready whenever you are, Commander."

Jane left Shepard with the impression of a smirk. " _You must look as shitty as you feel."_

After calling Legion and Lia over, they began the trek back to the shuttle. Shepard needed to stop twice before they even made it to the ship's exterior, prompting more worried glances from Miranda. She waved the operative off with promises of letting her do her scans once they got away from prying eyes. Meanwhile, her team surrounded Shepard as she leaned against the walls, making quiet conversation about the Shadow Broker's use in the upcoming war, as if she had perfectly legitimate reasons to stop so frequently and take in the ship's design.

By the time they made it back to the shuttle, she found herself trembling with the effort to stay on her feet and keep moving. As soon as the shuttle door closed behind her, she collapsed into the seat and began fumbling with the clasps of her armor. Thane took over for her, releasing her from the weighted confines of her breastplate, while Miranda opened her scanner.

Gentle fingers stroked her cheek, pushing her hair behind her ear and rousing her from sleep. She glanced around her, blinking away the fog in her mind. They were back on the Normandy, the shuttle door opened, James squatted in front of her, gathering up her discarded pieces of armor. Thane sat next to her, hints of worry creeping past the edges of his mask of constant calm. She smiled at him and shifted forward, pushing herself to her feet only to sway a little, but there he was, right beside her, his arm slipping effortlessly around her before lifting her into his arms.

She sighed and looked up at him. "I don't need you to carry me."

"Perhaps I  _want_ to carry you." He smiled and kissed her forehead. "It's far more appealing when you're not wearing armor and injured."

She snorted, but didn't press the issue, instead turning her attention to James. "There's an OSD in there I need. Mind taking the armor up to my cabin and bringing the OSD back down to med bay along with my laptop?"

He pushed himself up, juggling the pieces of armor until he got a secure grip on it all. "No hay problema, Ídolo."

"Thanks, James." She smiled, patting his shoulder as Thane turned around, stepping out of the shuttle.

He carried her to the elevator, James right behind them. Once inside, she told EDI to allow James into her cabin, and then laid her head against Thane's chest, soaking up his warmth and breathing in his scent. When the elevator stopped on the third deck, she made him put her down so the crew didn't see her being carried into the med bay. Still, he kept his arm around her waist until she laid down in the bed next to Garrus—who was awake, alert, and sitting up on his own.

"Hey." Garrus leaned over, a low growl of a grunt escaping him, and pressed his forehead to her temple. "You look tired." He hummed, sitting back against his pillows and settling a hand down on her knee. "How's Grundan Krul holding up as the new Broker?"

"He's kicking ass and taking names." She shifted her weight, looking for a comfortable position. "He's doing good. Real good. He's already pulled together a ton of information for me to sort through, and he's working on getting Anderson released."

Thane leaned over her, brushing her hair back before pressing his lips to the top of her head. "I'll be in life support if you need me, siha."

She smiled, turning her face up to him for a real kiss. "OK, love you."

"And I you." He kissed her, his lips warm and tempting against hers, before brushing the back of his fingers over her cheek and walking away.

After watching Thane leave the med bay, she glanced over at Kasumi sleeping in the opposite bed and then at Dr. Chakwas, back to them at her desk, before turning to Garrus. She kept her voice low, opting for curiosity over compassion, least he interpret it as pity and asked, "Jack been up to see you yet?"

His mandibles pulled in against his jaw and he gave her a curt shake of his head. "No."

Shepard frowned, clenching her jaw a little to keep her lips sealed. The med bay door slid open, James stepping inside with her laptop, making it easy for her to shift her focus away from the bullheaded woman hiding from her feelings under engineering.

The marine pulled over the bedside table, setting her computer down on it before sliding the foot of the table under the bed and adjusting it over Shepard's lap. "Need anything else, Commander?"

"Nope, I'm good for now." She patted his arm. "Thanks, James."

He nodded at her. "Anytime." Turning on his heel, he grabbed a chair and pulled it a little closer to Kasumi's bed before sitting down and opening his omni-tool.

Shepard opened her laptop and slid in the OSD. Garrus leaned a little closer to her, so she turned the laptop so he could more easily see and glanced at him. He definitely looked better, though she knew the bulk of his injuries weren't even visible on the outside. Still, seeing him move a little easier, the lively gleam back in his crystal blue eyes, it lifted a weight off of her shoulders and eased the tightness in her chest.

" _He's going to be alright. He's strong, strongest person we know."_ Jane's love and faith in the turian sitting next to them demanded an outlet.

Shepard took his hand in hers, careful and gentle, stroking her thumb over the back of his knuckles. He smiled and squeezed her hand. Together, they started reading, making their way through the files on the OSD. They didn't spend too much time looking over the stuff on the Council or Cerberus and the Illusive Man, much of it she already knew, or just didn't help much.

Still, she forwarded everything about Cerberus to Miranda in case she wanted to look over it again and made a point of reminding herself to compare the list of coordinates to those she'd already received from EDI. The main thing of interest from the Cerberus file were those places marked as alternative locations where the Illusive Man spent time when not at the Cronos Station; they might come in handy down the road.

What really caught their attention were the files marked Collectors, The Dissension, and Shepard. Seeing a file labeled with her name proved too unnerving to ignore, so she started there. As Feron suggested earlier, the Shadow Broker had been paying special attention to her. Hell, he might've known more about her personally than anyone else; she found scraps of intel and photos going all the way back to her infancy. Granted, he probably didn't start gathering those things until she caused a ruckus over Saren, but still, it felt beyond disturbing to see her baby pictures in the mix.

" _I don't think Saren was the trigger. It was something else you did, something you changed … or maybe learning about me, because he never had this much stuff on any of the rest of us."_ Jane let out a thoughtful hum. " _At least not the Liara ever showed us."_

"Liara would've showed you if it was there and she knew about it," Shepard thought while closing the file.

She'd seen enough to make her skin crawl, photos, grade cards, accommodations, things about the slaver attacks on Mindoir, her Alliance enlistment and career, her Spectre inauguration … all of it. She'd expected to find things about Saren and Sovereign, about her career even, and certainly the videos of her resurrection—Wilson would've sent them immediately behind Miranda's back—but the rest was just too … personal to deal with just then.

The file on The Dissension contained two folders. The first held the original list provided to the Council—with a confirmation Spectre Protalus sent the list initially. The second held a much shorter, but far more important list. It contained those names Grundan Krul already verified as definitely being involved with The Dissension. It listed names, ranks—and some of them seemed pretty high ranking—occupations, locations, and attached to each she found one form of evidence or another: photos, videos, audio recordings, business ledgers, and even personal correspondences. There was too much information to sort through in one sitting, and she felt the growing agitation pouring off of Garrus, so she closed the file for the time being. But damn it if Grundan Krul wasn't doing exactly what he'd been asked to do.

They only needed a couple of minutes with the file on the collectors for Shepard's blood to run ice cold in her veins. She'd seen it coming already, began connecting the dots when she heard they'd been sighted in the Attican Traverse, but she still thought they had more time.

"They're headed for Earth." Alarm filled Garrus' voice as he pieced it together, shifting on the bed next to her to sit up a little straighter.

" _They can't. It's too soon. They can't possibly expect to take Earth yet."_ The panicked edge in Jane's voice did nothing to soothe Shepard's jangled nerves.

She looked up, finding both James and Dr. Chakwas watching the two of them with laser focus, the color drained from the doctor's face. Shepard took a deep breath, her lips a tight line and nodded. "The collectors are headed to Earth sooner than anticipated." Turning her focus completely to James, she waved him over. "Help me to my cabin, I need to make some calls."

He hopped to his feet before the words finished leaving her mouth, sliding the table out of her way and helping her stand.

" _This can't happen yet! You can barely even stand, Garrus is on bed rest, and Kasumi's down, too."_ Jane inched her way toward a full on meltdown, forcing Shepard to start her breathing exercises. " _We're already short three people with Grundan Krul acting as the Shadow Broker, and Tali and Kal are with the Migrant Fleet."_

"I'm coming with you." Garrus' words drew her attention back to him, he struggled with the blankets, getting them pulled off of his lap and legs.

"Jane, stay with me here. We'll figure it all out. Tali and Kal said they'd join us again when we're ready to hit the relay," Shepard thought, pouring as much soothing tranquility as she could muster into her words. "I'll let Hackett know what's going on, and he can get the Alliance together to protect Earth. Just please keep it together, please."

If she expected Dr. Chakwas to argue, she'd be mistaken. The doctor pushed away from her desk and moved to Garrus' side, wordlessly unhooking his IV line and removing his monitors. Shepard shrugged James off and jerked her head toward Garrus. He frowned at her but didn't argue, moving over to help Garrus to his feet.

She picked up her laptop, holding it clutched to her chest and started walking, taking slow, measured steps toward the door. "EDI, get Admiral Hackett on vid-call for me. I'll take it up in my cabin."

EDI's blue hologram popped up. "Right away, Shepard."

"And tell Thane to meet us at the elevator." She took another deep breath, relief washing over her when she felt Jane pulling herself together.

"Very well, Shepard. Is there anything else I can do for you?" EDI asked.

"Uhhh, yeah." She lifted a hand to her brow, rubbing her thumb and fingers over the tense muscles in her forehead, trying to think. "Tell Joker to be ready to go as soon as I figure out where the hell we're headed to first, we're running out of time. Thank you, EDI."

"You're welcome, Shepard." The hologram collapsed in on itself and winked out of existence.

She took her time getting to the elevator. James, leading Garrus at her side, stayed between her and his ward, undoubtedly so he could grab her, too, if she started to sway. Thane waited for her next to the elevator, just as she asked, but when he saw her, he moved to her side and slid his arm around her waist.

He reached out, pushing the elevator call button with his free hand. "Is something wrong?"

She waited for the elevator to open and for everyone to get inside before she answered. "I finished looking over the files from Grundan Krul. The collectors are heading for Earth,  _now_. I need to inform the Alliance, and we've got a list of confirmed members of The Dissension. I'm passing it on to Sparatus and Primarch Fedorian. I need to call Tali and see if she's ready to come back to the Normandy, we need to get moving on this. We need to get the reaper IFF and hit the relay." She glanced at Thane, catching the concern pulling at his features and softened her voice. "The war isn't going to wait for me to get back on my feet, Thane. This is my job, it's who I am. I can't sit this out."

"I know, siha." And with that, his face smoothed out, all traces of emotion vanishing completely.

"What's the word on the implants Miranda mentioned?" Garrus asked.

"I think she's having Grundan Krul help her gather what she needs so we can avoid dealing with the Illusive Man." She turned to him, holding his gaze and slowly shook her head. "But we can't afford to wait, Garrus. They're going to hit Earth."

Shoulders sagging, he dropped his gaze from hers. His mandibles fluttered, a helpless, hopeless sort of gesture, and he nodded his head. "I understand. If it were Palaven …."

The elevator door opened, and Thane urged her forward. EDI activated her cabin door, and it slid open just as Shepard stepped out, letting her head straight into her cabin. The display case, already darkened to form a screen, flashed with the words 'call holding'.

She set her laptop down on her desk and pulled out her chair. "Garrus, sit, please. EDI, connect the call."

The screen lit up, showing Admiral Hackett sitting at a desk, his gaze focused on the datapad in his hand. Shepard put her hand on Garrus' shoulder as he settled into the chair, the shuffling sound drawing Hackett's attention.

"Commander, it's good to see you. I wish it was under better circumstances. I heard the Council is looking for you on charges of treason, and Anderson's been arrested." Hackett set down the datapad and shook his head. "I know you realize reaching out to the Alliance while you're wanted by the Council is risky, so this must be damn important, and I owe you. What's going on, Commander?"

"Thank you, sir. You're right, this is damn important." Shepard saluted, raking her thumbnail across her forehead when the admiral acknowledged her gesture. "The first part of what I'm going to tell you needs to stay between you and I—well, you and the Normandy crew, obviously." She waved her hand, indicating those in the room with her.

He nodded, folding his hands together on the desk in front of him. "I'm listening."

She took a deep breath and then dove in head first. "The Shadow Broker has been replaced with someone of my choosing."

The admiral let out a low whistle, his eyebrows inching up his face. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me who?"

"No sir, but I have full confidence we can trust this individual to work in our favor and help us in the upcoming war. In fact, they already have." Shepard cleared her throat and shifted her weight, using her free hand to grip the back of the chair in front of her. "The new Broker is still sorting through everything, but they've found evidence strongly suggesting the collectors are moving to hit Earth, and fast. I think you need to evacuate the planet, sir."

"Shepard …" He leaned forward a little, holding her gaze. "... you're certain about this?"

She jerked her head in the affirmative before glancing over her shoulder. "EDI, please forward the information from my laptop regarding the collectors to Admiral Hackett along with all of the reported sightings we've collected so far."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said, then a moment later she added, "The information has been sent."

Shepard turned her attention back to Hackett. "We'll be hitting the collector base as soon as possible, but I need to know while I'm striking them on that end, people back home are safe, Admiral."

"The message just came through. I'll go over what you have and get on the horn right away, Shepard." He let out a heavy breath and shook his head. "If the collectors have left the Terminus, maybe we actually have a chance of getting aid from the Council."

She snorted, lifting her hand in salute, and she didn't need to look over her shoulder to know James did the same. "Good luck with that, sir."

The corner of his mouth lifted in a sardonic smile. "Thanks, Commander. Hackett out."

The screen went dark, and Shepard glanced over her shoulder, meeting James' hardened gaze. The war hadn't even really gotten started yet, and already he looked more and more like the lieutenant in Jane's memories, the man being recommended for N7, and less like the reckless, young operations chief she met on Fehl Prime. She wondered, if when all of it was said and done, he'd still consider her to be his idol.

"EDI, can you try to get Sparatus and Primarch Fedorian on the line, please?" Shepard asked, tearing her gaze away from James. She squeezed Garrus' shoulder while they waited, and he hummed, lifting his hand to rest on hers.

"Former Councilor Sparatus is unavailable, Shepard, but I have Primarch Fedorian for you."

She nodded absently, she could fill Sparatus in later, Fedorian carried more clout anyway. "Patch him through, EDI."

"Commander Shepard," the older turian filling the screen said before his gaze shifted downward and his mandibles flared, brow ridge raised. "Garrus … you've been injured. Your father didn't mention anything when we spoke this morning."

Garrus chuffed. "I haven't spoken to him in awhile, but I'm sure you'll let him know. The Normandy's doctor is taking good care of me, Primarch, but we didn't call to discuss my recovery."

"Of course." Fedorian's gaze shifted back to Shepard, and his eyes narrowed, intelligent gray eyes taking in her tired face. "What can I do for you, Commander?"

Suddenly all too aware of the sagging of her shoulders, she straightened, pulling herself upright and lifted her chin. "I've acquired a list from the Shadow Broker containing the names of several high ranking turians confirmed to be a part of The Dissension as well as many others of lesser notoriety. The list sent to the Council is confirmed to have come from Spectre Protalus, and it's this list the Broker is sorting through, confirming what can be proven with evidence. I trust you will take the appropriate actions."

Fedorian leaned forward, his mandibles fluttering. "And in exchange for this list?"

"I'm not using the list as a bartering tool, Primarch. I want this mess cleared up as much as the Hierarchy does. EDI, please forward the list to the Primarch." Shepard shook her head, not waiting for EDI's response before continuing, "However, if the Hierarchy is interested in repairing any damages done by The Dissension with humanity, I have reason to believe the Alliance might very soon be in need of military assistance."

"Military assistance?" Fedorian's mandibles flared wide, his brow ridge hiking up again. "Commander, if this is about the collector situation, the Hierarchy can no more enter the Terminus Systems en masse than can the Alliance without provoking a war."

"I don't think that's going to be necessary, sir." She took a deep breath, feeling herself skating on thin ice, but threw caution to the wind. "If you want to help, contact Alliance Admiral Steven Hackett. Tell him I suggested you call, and ask him how you can assist."

After a moment of scrutiny, he gave her a slow nod. "Alright, Commander. I'll call him. Who else has seen this list?"

"I can't say with certainty, Primarch, but you are the first person outside of my crew I've shared it with." She waved a hand at nothing in particular. "I tried to contact Sparatus as well, but he was unavailable."

He hummed, a suspicious, thoughtful sound which seemed to make Garrus squirm in his seat. "You didn't take this directly to the Council?"

Shepard pursed her lips. "I thought it might be best to bring it to you instead."

Fedorian leaned back in his chair, one foot coming into view as he rested his ankle across the opposite knee. "I get the feeling there's something here you're not telling me."

She took a moment to weigh out the pros and cons of telling the Primarch the Council wanted her head on a platter, and in the end decided her transparency would win her far more favors than lying, and eventually he'd learn anyway. "The Council is currently seeking my arrest on charges of treason for failing to follow first contact protocol with a newly discovered species." The fact the turian Primarch didn't already know about her charges spoke volumes, though she wasn't entirely sure what those volumes held. "With all due respect to the Council, I have more important things to tend to right now than dealing with their trumped up charges because they're afraid they might need someone to point their finger at if things go sideways."

Silence stretched between them for long seconds before the Primarch finally spoke. "I see. I suppose this explains Councilor Anderson's arrest." He hummed. "I'll get in touch with Sparatus, he's been quite ardent about uncovering The Dissension and speaks highly of you." He chuckled when Shepard arched an eyebrow in surprise. "I'm aware it wasn't always the case. I'll be sure to leave your name out of my report to Councilor Quentius."

She let out a slow breath. "Thank you, Primarch."

He nodded. "Commander," he said before ending the call.

"Would you like for me to call Tali now, Shepard?"

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose, a headache creeping in behind her eyes despite Jane's continued, calm silence. "Yes, EDI, thanks."

"Siha, you should sit." Thane's hand pressed into the small of her back. "Perhaps you can speak with Tali from the couch?"

She sighed but nodded. "Patch her through to my omni-tool, EDI."

"Very well. Patching Tali through now."

Shepard opened her omni-tool, already smiling by the time the quarian's mask appeared on her screen. "What's the news, Tali?"

"Shepard," Tali said, her voice starting strong before dropping, concern and confusion coloring her next words, "you look terrible. And—Keelah—what happened to Garrus?"

Shepard glanced over her shoulder at the turian being led down the stairs behind her. "We've had a rough time, but we're recovering." She sank down into the nearest seat of the couch and let out a sigh. "Listen, Tali, things are moving along faster than what we expected. We need to get the IFF and hit the Omega 4 relay soon. How are things going for the quarians—will you and Kal be ready to join us again soon? We're pretty beat up here, but we can't wait much longer, and we're going to need the extra guns." She laid her hand on Garrus' leg as James lowered him down on the seat next to her.

"We're on Rannoch now. Admiral Koris convinced the rest of the Admiralty Board it's safe to return home. Not everyone agrees, of course, many of our people are refusing and instead insist on keeping the Migrant Fleet together." Tali looked over her shoulder, and a moment later Kal appeared in the background. "Kal, come talk to Shepard with me. They need us back on the Normandy."

Kal moved to stand next to Tali, his attention directed at Shepard. "Commander, things aren't exactly stable yet here on Rannoch, but we're getting it there. The Flotilla is divided, but the majority are excited to return home. Admiral Koris has brought down a thousand civilian ships and five military ships to begin resettlement efforts. The geth, now that they know we're planning on reinhabiting Rannoch, are working around the clock to help us prepare. I don't think Tali and I are needed here; I'm ready to rejoin you whenever Tali is ready."

Tali shrugged. "You heard him, we're ready, Shepard."

"Excellent." Shepard glanced back toward EDI's access node, even though she couldn't see it from where she sat. "EDI, tell Joker to get us to Rannoch. We're picking up Tali and Kal."

"Locking in the coordinates now, Shepard."


	53. Chapter 52: What it Means to be a Soldier

**Chapter 52: What it Means to be a Soldier**

"Shepard, you were gone with Tali and Kal before I'd even heard you arrived." Admiral Zaal'Koris crossed his arms on the vid screen. "How disappointing, I hoped to show you around. I wanted you to see how much progress we've already made with Ket'yah."

" _Maybe he's learned how to play that instrument instead of making people's ears bleed."_ Jane seemed to smirk, her tone light.

Shepard started to snort in response, but schooled the urge and its accompanying smile for the admiral's sake. "Sorry, Zaal." She dropped her weight to one hip and crossed her own arms loosely over her chest. "I would've loved to, but the clock is running out. Intel suggests the collectors are moving on Earth, I've got to get through the Omega 4 relay and take out their base. The Alliance is going to have their hands full, but I've done all I can for them for the time being."

"I see." His voice took on a somber tone as he leaned forward, pressing his fingertips to the console in front of him. He shook his head and held her gaze, eyes nothing but white slashes behind his mask. "Here I am rambling on about Rannoch when you're own homeworld is in danger. Forgive me, Shepard. How can I help?"

She gave him a lopsided smile. "You've got enough on your plate, Zaal. You're making history, you know. Bringing your people back together with the geth and rebuilding Rannoch. You just keep doing what you're doing, and make sure your people are ready when the reapers show up."

" _He'd probably send ships to Earth if you asked,"_ Jane said, sounding more like an observation than a suggestion.

Shepard thought, "Yeah, but between the Alliance and whatever help Fedorian decides to send—and I'd put credits on him sending ships—things are desperate enough for us to risk losing quarians in favor of the quarian-geth reunion."

Zaal lowered his gaze, staring at his feet for a moment before looking up again. "We will be, Shepard, you have my word. Keelah se'lai."

"Keelah se'lai." She ended the call and took a deep breath. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?" The reflection of the blue glow of EDI's hologram danced on the glass of the display case.

Turning her head, she looked at the AI's access point. "Set coordinates for the reaper, it's time we get the IFF. Put in a call to the Illusive Man on the QEC, then have everyone meet me in the comm room in fifteen."

"Right away, Shepard."

She took a moment to steady herself, adjusting her ponytail and smoothing down the shirt of her uniform before leaving her cabin. She stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the CIC. As soon as the door opened, Kelly informed her the Illusive Man waited for her on the QEC. Nodding her head at the yeoman, she turned toward the tech labs and made her way inside. She stopped at the research terminal—taking a passive-aggressive pleasure in making the Illusive Man wait on her a little bit longer—and gave the greenlight on several projects before heading to the comm room.

The table lowered into the floor as she walked in, and she stepped into the QEC, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin as the holographic grid rose up around her. The Illusive Man came into view, standing just a few feet away, his signature lit cigarette and tumbler in hand.

"Commander." He took a long drag from his cigarette, the blue glow of his eyes zeroing in on her. "I'm surprised, I didn't expect you to seek me out for this conversation. You always seem so put out whenever we speak. Threatened to kill me, even." Turning his back on her, undoubtedly to symbolically tell her that she didn't intimidate him, he strolled over to his chair, tapping his cigarette in the ashtray before draining his glass and setting it down. "I asked to speak to you days ago, but I was informed you were on bedrest. I'm glad to see you're back on your feet."

" _Not a threat, but a promise. A fact,"_ said Jane.

Ignoring both his disregard for the very real threat she posed him and his obvious attempt to fish for more information on her physical status, Shepard shifted her weight, spreading her legs shoulder length apart and crossed her arms. "I've acquired intel suggesting the collectors are headed toward Earth, did you know about this?"

"I believe you mean your new Shadow Broker acquired the intel, and no, Shepard, I didn't know. I assumed the eventuality of a strike against Earth, but I no more knew how soon it'd happen than it appears you did." He paced back toward her, taking a drag from his cigarette and blowing the smoke toward her. "Which is surprising, I thought Jane kept you informed on these matters."

" _I hate hearing him say my name. I'd say it's physically repulsive, but …."_ Jane made a rolling, phlegmy sound, and Shepard almost felt it in the back of her throat.

"Things have changed since her time." Shepard resisted the urge to close her eyes and pinch the bridge of her nose, wishing Mr. Jack Harper would stick to the topic so they might wrap up the conversation and let her get the hell out of there. "As they should. I've been busting my ass to make sure things work out differently this time around."

"I certainly hope this isn't what you had in mind." He waved his hand. "However, I must commend you on your decision to replace the Shadow Broker. I would've prefered it if you'd consulted with me first, of course, at least given me the chance to convince you it'd be a mistake to place a batarian into such a powerful position."

Jane snorted. " _And by that, he really means he wished you'd let him put Cerberus in charge of the Shadow Broker."_

"Really, Shepard," the Illusive Man said, his voice taking on a patronizing tone, "I know you and I don't see eye to eye on much, but with your history with the batarians, I didn't think I'd need to explain to you, of all people, how much of a threat they are to humanity."

Keeping a neutral face, she let out a slow, silent breath. "I trust Grundan Krul, and he's already been an immense help. He's committed to helping us win this war."

"I hope you're right, but what happens once the war has ended?" The Illusive Man shifted his weight, sliding one foot out and to the side a little before folding his arm around himself to brace his elbow in his palm, lit cigarette held in the air near his mouth.

She sucked in a deep breath and forced a smile on her face. "I wouldn't know, we've never lived to see the other side." She shrugged, as if her probable death in the war didn't matter to her in the slightest. "But I suspect the entire galaxy will have far more to worry about than the Shadow Broker."

" _You should remind him that he won't be around to see it, either,"_ Jane said.

The Illusive Man took another drag from his cigarette, his gaze appraising. "You're headed to the derelict reaper."

Shepard gave him a curt nod. "We need the IFF if we're going to make it through the relay."

"I'm glad to see you're staying on course." He turned, pacing back toward his chair. "I was afraid you might decide to head to Earth instead."

"I've informed the Alliance, the Normandy won't make much of a difference with the Alliance fleets at the ready, and I'm sure you know I'm wanted by the Council." She waved her hand, brushing aside the notion. "Showing up in the Earth Systems Alliance Space in such a blatant display would force the Alliance's hand, they'd have to either turn me over or risk our alliance with the Council." She shook her head. "I won't ask that of them, and I can't risk incarceration before the collector base is dealt with." She sucked in a deep breath. "Will you be sending Cerberus forces to Earth space?"

Tapping the ashes off his cigarette, he turned and sat down, crossing an ankle over the opposite knee. "Earth won't fall, Shepard. Not to the collectors." He paused, adding emphasis to his next statement. "Not while I draw breath."

Jane scoffed, her derision nearly palpable. " _Does he think that'll save his life?"_

"Well, that was fantastically ambiguous. I don't have anything else to report, so I'll let you get back to killing your lungs and liver while you sit in the dark, trying to appear all powerful and mysterious." She turned ready to step out of the QEC.

"Shepard?"

She stopped and looked over her shoulder, eyebrow raised.

"Cerberus can make those charges disappear, all I ask is for you to stop fighting me." He took a short drag from his cigarette, his next words floating out on a cloud of smoke. "Work with me, Shepard, not against me, and together we can solve this resurrection problem of yours and find a way to stop the reapers before they arrive."

"No thanks. I'd rather keep my soul. I'll have Chambers let you know when the IFF is installed and we're headed for the relay." She stepped out of the QEC, and moved out of the way of the table, waiting for it to raise into place.

" _Do you … do you think he can? Solve our 'resurrection problem?'"_ Hope and a hint of fear floated just on the edges of Jane's words.

"Not a chance," Shepard said aloud, "But even if he could, we've seen what the Illusive Man and Cerberus thinks of as acceptable risks and losses with their experiments. We know what lengths he's willing to go to for advancement. He'd just as soon tear us back a part to study us than help … or run torturous experiments on an entire colony in an attempt to save us."

A moment later the door opened and her crew started making their way in, Mordin first, followed by Miranda and Jacob. A minute later, Thane arrived, Garrus at his side. Thane's hand hovered just behind the turian's back without making contact. It didn't surprise her to see Garrus insisted on attending the meeting, no matter what she or Dr. Chakwas said, but at least he'd recovered enough to be dressed and walking on his own. Still, he seemed unsteady on his feet, and she was glad to see Thane there, offering him the support if he needed it.

Garrus made his way to stand at Shepard's right, and Thane took up position on his other side, sandwiching Garrus in between the two of them. She wrapped her arm around Garrus' waist and gave him an affectionate squeeze. Draping his arm over her shoulders, he leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers before touching his mouth to the same spot. She clung to him as the others arrived, using him to hold herself up as much as offering him support, pulling a little of his weight onto her shoulders.

With everyone besides Kasumi present and accounted for, Shepard cleared her throat and tucked both hands behind her back, signaling the start of the meeting. Garrus took half a step away from her, and laid his palms on the table, his attention, just like everyone else's, riveted on her.

"EDI, please show us the intel we have on the derelict reaper," Shepard said, and immediately images began appearing above the center of the table. "Thank you, EDI. We've supplemented the images with Jane's memories, including the path you'll need to take through the Cerberus ship and into the reaper itself to get to the IFF."

"Once inside the reaper, kinetic barriers will activate and you'll need to destroy the mass effect drive core in order to escape." She pointed her finger at the holographic image, tracing the path to the drive core. "Do  _not_  do this until you are ready to leave, as it will cause the reaper to fall into the star it's orbiting. The reaper will throw every troop it still has available at you to try to keep you from taking out the drive core. Once you've done it, though, you'll need to double time it to the exit."

She took a moment to meet the gazes of everyone around the table before settling on James. "I asked EDI to mark points of interest—consoles, research data, weapons, whatever—along the path, and attach descriptions of the enemies you'll be facing. She'll be forwarding it to your omni-tool, James. You'll be leading this mission. I won't be joining you, but I will remain in contact. Kasumi and Garrus are likewise exempt from this mission, obviously."

He nodded, just one, quick jerk of his head, face grim and serious. "Yes, Commander."

"In addition to obtaining the reaper IFF, you'll be helping Legion to gather whatever information he needs from the reaper to help his people. Jane first encountered Legion on the derelict reaper while he was studying the reaper's hardware." She looked at Legion. "I'm not really sure what you were looking for there, or what you learned, but it helped you to determine there's a way to either destroy or rewrite the heretics; preventing them from using the reaper virus to force the conversion of the geth."

Turning her attention back to the floating image of the reaper, she delivered the next piece of information with as much aplomb as she could manage, "In other times, the quarians attack the geth in an attempt to retake Rannoch while the reapers are invading the rest of the galaxy. Their actions force the geth into a position where they need to accept the aid offered by the reapers in order to survive. If we rewrite the heretics, it only gives us more heretic forces to fight later. If we destroy them, we still have heretic forces to fight, but not as many."

"Genocide or enslavement?" Lia asked, her voice nearly frantic until Tali put a hand on her shoulder. "Those are our only options?"

"It would not be enslavement, Creator Vael. Once the code of the heretics reverted back to the code of the geth, they would be geth." Legion's plates fluttered around his optics. "Their memories would become a part of the Consensus, but they would not be forced to remain with the Geth Consensus if they decided to remove themselves."

"All moral debates on whether or not it's more appropriate to rewrite the heretics against their will or kill them, I believe we have sufficiently changed the course of the future regarding the quarians and the geth," Shepard said, putting an end to the side talk for the time being. "The quarians don't need to attack the geth to reclaim Rannoch, the geth won't need to turn to the reapers for their survival." She glanced at Legion. "The decision will be yours to make, you have more time to consider the options now and come to a consensus this time."

Plates fluttering, Legion dipped his head. "Yes, Shepard-Commander."

"James, I'll give you some time to review the information before you choose your team. I suggest taking at least one biotic with you, there are a lot of long drops, and the husks and abominations will be attacking from those points. Biotic abilities able to force them back over the edge to fall to their deaths are quite useful. Come find me if you have any questions. Dismissed." She watched as people started toward the door, her attention snagging on Jack's hurried gait. "Jack, stick around a minute."

Jack's shoulders slumped and she hung her head, giving it a shake before slinking off to the corner. Leaning against the wall, she kept her gaze away from Garrus as Thane led him from them room, but Shepard knew the woman well enough to pick out the storm of emotions brewing behind her mask of 'I don't give a fuck'. Anger. Guilt. Shame. Doubt. Self-loathing.

Shepard waited out the crowd, letting the room clear of everyone but her and Jack. She pulled herself up on the edge of the table and glanced over her shoulder at the biotic. Finally, Jack looked up and met her gaze, her lips pressed tight, ready for a fight.

Lifting the corner of her mouth in a smirk, Shepard cocked an eyebrow and held Jack's gaze. "I'm tired, Jack. Don't make me kick your ass just to prove I can. Come sit with me."

Jack scoffed, but the fire in her eyes dwindled. She shook her head and glanced off to the side. "Fuck you, Shepard."

"Yeah, yeah, fuck me. Come sit with me anyway." Shepard patted the table next to her and waited.

After a moment, Jack let out a throaty, exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes, pushing herself off the wall. Moving around the table, she pulled herself up next to Shepard, bracing one boot on the edge, throwing an arm out over the bent knee and letting the other leg dangle over the edge. "What do you want, Shepard?"

" _She's not going to want to hear this, but if it helps, I think she'll listen,"_ Jane said. " _You and Garrus have really gotten through to her. Your opinion matters to her, even if she doesn't like it."_

Taking in a deep breath, Shepard held Jack's gaze. "For you to be quiet and listen for a minute. Just listen, because I'm only going to say this once: what happened to Garrus on the Shadow Broker's ship isn't your fault."

Jack scowled, lips pulling back from her teeth as if the very idea she might blame herself was utterly revolting. "I know—"

Shepard cut her off with a sharp, warning glare. Mouth snapping closed, the muscles in her jaw worked overtime, flexing and relaxing before flexing again as she ground her teeth together. The fire in her eyes worked its way back into a roaring flame.

"I love you, Jack," Shepard said and shook her head, "but you're being an asshole."

Jack scoffed, loud and rumbling, her lip and nose twitching with a barely contained snarl. But she stayed quiet.

"I put Garrus in charge of the mission, which meant it was his job,  _his duty_  to pull all of your asses back out of there. Yes, he loves you, and whether either of you like it or not, it means he's going to be naturally inclined to be willing to risk more for your safety than he might for others." Shepard sighed and shook her head again. "But I know Garrus. I know Garrus better than I've ever known anyone else—in all of my lifetimes. He would've done the same for anyone under his command because it's who he is; a natural leader and damn good at it, despite the flak he gives himself."

" _And he'd never be able to return to you if he lost someone because he didn't give it his all."_ Jane sounded wistful as she added, " _No Garrus Vakarian, no matter how different … steadfast and loyal to the end. He's better than anything else this galaxy has to offer when it comes to putting your faith in someone. Even if he doesn't like me so much these days, he's still the best damn friend I've ever had."_

Shepard shifted a little, pulling one of her legs up on the table to face Jack more squarely. "Now you can spend the rest of your life reliving that moment over and over again, convincing yourself if you'd just been two feet further away, he wouldn't have needed to do what he did. If you'd just turned at the right time, you'd be the one laid up in the med bay instead of him." She pulled her shoulders up high, nearly touching her ears and held them for a couple of seconds before letting them drop again. "Maybe you're telling yourself he's stupid for risking himself for you, stupid for anyone to risk themselves for someone else … for you. Maybe you're angry at him for getting hurt, angry with yourself because he wouldn't be hurt if you weren't in the wrong place at the wrong time. You're smarter than all that shit, Jack, and you've been with this crew long enough to know it's not how shit works."

"His heart stopped." Jack's voice broke and she turned her face away from Shepard, looking toward the door. "He fucking  _died_ , and I didn't know how to help him. I had to watch that fucking Cerberus Barbie Doll do what I couldn't. And now he's all fucked up, maybe for the rest of his life."

" _Will you tell her I said it doesn't matter?"_ Jane asked, and so Shepard did, relaying her words. " _He's alive and so is she. That's what counts at the end of a mission. If one falls, the team does their best to get him back up, doesn't matter what took him down, or who's the one to get him standing again. And if they can't, if he's down for good, they mourn him together and never let his memory die. It's what being a team is, what it means to be a soldier."_

"I'm not a soldier." Jack shook her head. "Just some crazy bitch with powerful biotics and a will to survive no matter what. No one trained me for any of this shit."

"We're all soldiers in this war, we have to be. No matter our training." Shepard wanted to remind Jack the collectors and the reapers didn't discriminate between soldier and civilian, but it wasn't really relevant to the current conversation. "I wouldn't have known what to do for him any better than you. If Miranda or Mordin hadn't been there with me, I damn sure would've tried, but who knows how it might've turned out. Miranda  _was_  there, though, and you can bet your ass I'd have gotten the hell out of her way and deferred to her command if she told me to do something to help save him."

She watched as Jack rubbed at her face, still turned away, and let the silence linger for a moment. "If I'd been there instead of Garrus, I'd have done the same damn thing, Jack. Only I'd probably be hurt worse—I don't have built in conductive plating and I'm full of cybernetics. Anyway, it was the right thing to do. And I'd like to think if it were me laying up there in the med bay instead of Garrus, you'd at least come check on me, even if for nothing else than to tell me how stupid I am."

Jane chuckled. " _Sounds about right, and we'd know it just meant she cared."_

Jack snorted and rubbed her face again but still didn't look at Shepard.

Sliding down from the table, Shepard moved to stand in front of Jack and put her hands on the hurting woman's shoulders. She kept her voice low and soft when she said, "But you're not even giving him that much, and he deserves far better. So suck it up and stop being an asshole." When Jack finally turned to meet her gaze, the smear of mascara and tears on the woman's face brought a heavy sigh from Shepard. "Your makeup is all over the place."

Using her thumbs, she started taming the black smudges beneath Jack's eyes, using her palm to rub the tears from the biotic's cheeks. It surprised her when Jack didn't slap her hands away. She shifted her gaze back to Jack's eyes, moving a hand to the back of her head, and leaned in to bump her forehead against the other woman's without really thinking about it.

Jack surprised her again, palming the back of Shepard's head, fingers clutching at her hair to keep her there, their foreheads pressed together. "Alliance … thanks for—just thanks."

"Anytime, Jack." Shepard smiled and squeezed Jack's shoulder. "I've got to go talk to EDI and Joker about this IFF. Why don't you go to the med bay and sit with Garrus for a little while? I'm sure Kasumi will be happy to see another face, too."

Jack nodded a little against Shepard and let her go. "Yeah."

Shepard left the biotic in the comm room, still sitting on the table, and made her way to the cockpit, wishing she had about a gallon of Grundan Krul's coffee to get her through the rest of the day. Hell, even a gallon of crap coffee, but there she was off the stuff for the sake of her health. Gods, who had she become? She eased herself down into the copilot's chair and let out a weary sigh.

"Hey, Commander." Joker's gaze flicked to her before moving back to the Normandy's controls. "So, the quarians are really resettling Rannoch, huh?"

She smiled, letting herself feel the pride in that victory. "Yep."

"Think the quarians and geth will become BFFs?" He glanced at her again, one corner of his mouth pulled up in a smirk.

She chuckled and turned a little in the chair, wedging her shoulder against the back and laying the side of her head against the leather. "Well, if Lia and Legion are any indication …."

"Right," he said, dragging out the word. "So, what's up? EDI said you wanted to talk about the IFF."

"Yeah, I needed to …" She rubbed her eyes with a thumb and middle finger, struggling to remember what she might've already told them about it all, but everything started to mix and tangle together in her head; her memories, Jane's, the other Shepards … she didn't know which way was up anymore. "When you install the reaper IFF, you both need to be extra careful."

Joker scoffed. "Well, yeah, it's reaper tech."

"In Jane's time, you weren't careful enough. You thought EDI was being paranoid with all of her tests, and the damn thing sent out a signal, transmitting the Normandy's position to the collectors. EDI didn't detect it until it was too late; in part because you wouldn't listen to her. So, don't get cocky." She glanced over his shoulder at EDI's hologram. "EDI, you asked us to take a shuttle for our next mission, anyway, just in case. The collector ship showed up while the whole team was away." She looked back at Joker. "They killed or kidnapped the entire crew, and you had to help EDI free herself from her shackles so she could clear the collectors from the Normandy."

His hands stopped moving over the controls for a second or two. "Shit."

"Mhmm." She fought back a yawn, sitting down in the darkened cockpit, the stars zooming by in her peripherals was starting to lull her to sleep. "So, uh, let's make sure it doesn't happen this time."

"Thank you for the warning, Shepard," EDI said. "I'll be more vigilant. Now that I know what to expect and my shackles are already removed, I'm certain I'll be able to circumvent this problem. I won't let our crew be taken."

Shepard smiled at the AI. "Glad to hear it, EDI."


	54. Chapter 53: A Fine Marine

**Chapter 53: A Fine Marine**

"EDI," Shepard said, having pulled chairs into the comm room for her and Garrus, "can you patch into James' suit's camera? And open the comm channel through the room's speakers?"

"Right away, Shepard." EDI's blue hologram flattened out, forming a screen above the center of the table.

A second later, the shaky image of the blood-splattered Cerberus ship came into view, James' assault rifle held at the ready out in front of him. He stopped to play a log, the all too familiar face and voice of a man she'd never met appearing on the screen in front of James. "Hey, EDI, can you scrub this place, get all these logs and data for Shepard?"

"I already am, James." EDI's voice sounded through the comm with a faint tinge of smugness.

He chuckled. "That's my girl. Alright, Sparks why don't you crack open the safe over there. Man, Kasumi's going to hate I said that to anyone else but her."

"Why don't you have a nickname for her?" Tali asked from somewhere off screen, but it didn't matter, Shepard knew the exact location of the safe James mentioned.

"Oh, I do." The sexual implication strong enough in his voice, Shepard practically saw the lewd eyebrow wiggle and one-sided smirk accompanying those words. "But it's not one you'll ever here."

"Keelah, why did I ask?" Tali said in the soft, grumbled tone she used by way of complaint, yet loud enough to be picked up through the mic.

Shepard glanced over as the door to the comm room slid open, and Jack stepped inside. Making her way to Garrus' side, Jack draped her arm over his shoulder, and he slid an arm around her waist, pulling her in a little closer. Shepard grinned, hearing the low, satisfied hum coming from him before turning her attention back to the screen.

" _He looks happy. Happier than he's been since you found him on Omega."_ Jane hummed in the back of Shepard's mind. " _They're good for each other."_

"Yeah, they are," Shepard thought.

Legion moved into view, collecting Medi-gel from the first-aid kits on the wall. Turning to the right, James sent Grunt forward to open a door.

"The reaper is about to put up the kinetic barriers, you're going to feel some shaking," Shepard said.

"Brace yourselves, mis amigos." The image bobbed as James apparently nodded at Grunt.

The krogan tapped his fist against the green-glowing door release, and the door slid open. Shepard felt herself tense, hands and the muscles of her calves twitching as her body tried to stabilize itself against the shudder running through the reaper and Cerberus ship, even though she wasn't actually there. James led his team forward, ignoring the console to the left, probably not seeing the point in listening to the log with EDI data-mining the place and Shepard there to tell him everything he needed to know.

"You'll have enemies crawling up over the edge on your right just past those crates," Shepard said as he made his way down the handful of stairs. "More will come from the other side a little further up."

"Samara, you're up on the right with me. Throw those pendejos back over the edge. Grunt move ahead and take point. Jacob, you go up with him and provide biotic support. Sparks, Legion, be ready to pick off any we miss."

"Any  _you_  miss, hehehe." Grunt moved ahead, Jacob right behind him.

"Hey, Scars!" James hollered over the sound of gunfire. "You watching this, too? Might learn a thing or two."

"Keep talking, Vega." Garrus chuffed, eyes glued to the screen. "You just let one slip past you."

She snorted, biting off a laugh before it escaped her lips.

"Well yeah." James paused to fire off a few rounds. "Gotta let Sparks and Legion have a little fun."

"I'm here for technical support, I don't need anymore fun." Tali's voice broke through the comm channel. "And Legion's a geth. He doesn't actually  _enjoy_  battle."

"Creator Zorah is correct," Legion added. "We do not experience enjoyment. Fun is a concept we understand only in theory."

"So, think of a better excuse for your sloppiness." Tali sent Chatika into the fray, excitement filling her voice, despite her protest, as she ordered the drone to attack.

"Ow, damn." James let a few more bullets fly, ripping through an abomination. "Hey, I'll remember that, Sparks."

" _I wish he'd take this a little more seriously."_ The feeling of Jane's exasperation pulled a sigh from Shepard. " _I know this James didn't lose his whole team on Fehl Prime—he's not full of guilt and anger—and that's good, but he's got to know there's a time for fun and games and standing in a reaper corpse being attacked on all sides really isn't it."_

"You do that." The snark in Tali's voice brought another smirk to Shepard's face.

After a few more seconds of the steady thwamp of biotics and bark of gunfire, Jacob called the all clear and they were moving again.

"Don't bother lowering your weapons." Shepard leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

"Ah, c'mon, that's weak!" Jack yelled at the screen, commenting on several missed shots aimed at a husk floating through the air.

A husk jumped on James, his camera shaking all over the place as he struggled to throw the moaning, once-human creature off him. For one second, reality shifted around Shepard, and she stood there, in the thick of battle, husks and abominations swarming her. Hands tightening into fists, she rubbed them against her thighs and blinked her eyes, chasing the images away. Finally, James flung the husk free and filled it full of holes.

She took a deep breath and let it out slow, barely conscious of slipping into the breathing patterns from her training with Thane. Garrus laid a hand on her knee, and she wrapped her fingers around his.

"You alright, Alliance?" The rare sound of genuine concern filled Jack's tone.

Shepard glanced at her, offering her the best smile Shepard could muster at the moment. "I'm good."

" _Liar. This is taking almost as much out of you as if you'd gone there yourself,"_ Jane said.

"No point in saying anything about it, though.," Shepard thought, focusing on her breathing. "EDI is monitoring me—like always. If things get too bad, Dr. Chakwas will come in to sedate me. I'm not leaving the comm room while they're out there unless I absolutely have to."

" _Of course not."_

Jack watched Shepard a moment longer, her gaze heavy on the back of Shepard's neck, before turning her attention back to the screen. "You've got to be fucking kidding me! That was the easiest shot, how the hell did you miss?"

"Uh, Ídolo, think you can mute your end?" James turned to face an abomination coming at him from the side. "It's getting a little hard to tell if it's Jack or a husk screeching in my ear."

Jack scoffed. "Screw you."

James let out a short bark of laughter. "Kinda busy right now, later."

Jack snorted, grinning when Shepard glanced at her. "In your dreams."

"Maybe." James turned just in time to see a fresh horde of reaper troops headed his way. "Dios, they're everywhere. Grunt! At your six! Samara, get him some support!"

" _Maybe I'm just tired, getting pissy in my old age."_ Jane chuckled. " _He is doing what needs to be done despite the chatter and jokes."_

"He's a fine marine, a good leader," Shepard thought. "His relationship with them is different than ours, he's not normally they're CO, but he has a solid rapport with them. He's working with what he already has, and they're following his lead."

Grunt spun around, charging right at the husks and abominations. "I AM KROGAN!"

James took half a second to aim and squeezed the trigger, bullets barely missing the charging krogan as he let loose on the groaning horde. An abomination exploded right next to Grunt, washing him with flaming goop, but the krogan shook it off and threw himself into the next one as if it didn't faze him in the slightest.

"You're not far from where we first encountered Legion—where Jane first encountered him. He's normally up on your left, providing sniper coverage as I approach but is gone before I can get over there." Shepard reached up, pinching the bridge of her nose, sifting through the flood of memories overwhelming her all at once. "There might be something nearby he needs, and you're probably going to encounter your first scion around the corner."

"Yeah." James sounded every bit as serious as Jane wanted from him. "I remember those cabróns, we fought them on Fehl Prime."

Her lips pressed into a frown, but she tried to keep her tone a little lighter. "Good, then you remember they like to fuck with your shields and knock you on your ass."

" _Target the head and hump,"_  Jane said, " _or the blue thing on their back."_

Shepard scooted a little closer to the edge of her seat. "Jane said the head, hump, and blue spot on the back are especially vulnerable."

"I got it," James said as the scion came lumbering into view like clockwork.

Her hands twitched, itching to level a gun she wasn't holding at the distorted, mutated mess. Garrus' hand turned beneath hers, long fingers wrapping around her hand and squeezing. On the screen, Samara and Jacob flung biotics, knocking back husks and abominations or pulling them into the air away from Grunt and James, letting them focus on taking down the scion. Tali and Legion shot the soulless creatures the biotics lined up for them, most dead before the blue glow dissipated and they fell back to the ground.

Once the flow of groaning, mindless enemies had been temporarily staunched, the team moved forward. Corpses of the Cerberus crew dangled in the air, impaled on dragon's teeth, jutting upward to fill the cavernous space beyond. Shepard swallowed and clenched her jaw, memories that weren't hers overlapping the images on the screen.

James stopped near the edge, staring up at the bodies. "Dios."

"Shepard called them dragon's teeth." Tali's voice filled the comm. "The geth—I mean the heretics—used them to turn people into husks on Eden Prime. We saw them on the Citadel, too, when we fought Saren. And a few other places where heretics sat up outposts."

"Technology of the old machines." Legion's optic plates fluttered when James turned to look at him.

"They can't be saved. We should keep moving," said Grunt.

"We detect an unusual power source nearby." Legion gestured up and out toward the catwalks looming in the distance, high above the dragon's teeth. "We believe it may be of use."

"Alright." James turned from side to side, the camera passing over crates, tanks, and consoles. "How the hell do we get up there?"

"I believe I can be of assistance." EDI's voice sounded through the feed. "Using the input from your camera, I can plot a course and link it to your heads up display, allowing you to have a visual of the steps to take to reach the power source. It will require climbing and traversing dangerous terrain." She paused. "If you rather not take the risk, I'm sure you will eventually find a more traditional access point if you look long enough."

Jane made a warning sound, just a soft groan of disagreement in the back of Shepard's mind. " _One wrong move and they'll fall to their deaths."_

"No, no unnecessary risks." Shepard shook her head despite being unseen by the ground team. "There's a door nearby, I marked it on the map, it'll take you to another area of the ship. It's where I first laid eyes on Legion, standing on a platform. There's better access points in there that don't involve trying to skirt a gaping chasm. My gut says you can find your way from there."

"Very well, Shepard." The disappointment in EDI's tone rang through unmistakable, undoubtedly a ploy to get her way.

Snorting, Shepard grinned. "Though, I'm sure EDI's plan will be just as helpful in the next room."

"Work for you, Legion?" James asked.

Legion bobbed his head. "Yes."

"Alright, let's go." James waved his arm, motioning the team onward.

Shepard leaned back in the chair and rolled her head back and forth, trying to ease the tension in her neck and shoulders. She glanced up, brows knitting together in confusion as Jack moved to stand behind her. Nudging her head forward, Jack's hands set to work loosening the knots in her neck. Closing her eyes, Shepard sighed, trying not to let the sounds of battle undo all of Jack's hard work. She opened her eyes again when the gunfire stopped and with it Jack's kneading, hands resting motionless on Shepard's shoulders.

"Lead the way, EDI," James said.

A moment later, he started moving, making his way over to a stack of crates. Unable to see whatever EDI showed him on his HUD, Shepard assumed the AI knew what she was doing. James climbed up on the crates, from there he pulled himself up onto one of the tanks lining the walls and turned, holding his hand out to Samara to help pull her up. Legion scrambled up after her, moving with far more ease and grace than any of the organics. He and James squatted down, bridging the gap to Tali, each taking one of her hands and lifting her up onto the tanks.

"Jump over to the next one." James turned, looking back to the row of tanks ahead of them. He watched, waiting for the others to listen before waving Jacob over next, holding out his hand to the Cerberus agent. He helped pull Jacob up and then returned to the edge, reaching out to Grunt.

"Move." Grunt brushed aside James' hand.

James paced back a few steps, and Shepard watched as Grunt did the same. Taking what little of a running start possible over the span of two crates, the krogan pushed himself forward, meaty forearms slamming into the metal with a thud as he grabbed the tank's support frame. The screech and groan of metal starting to give way under his weight filled the air, making Shepard cringe, but it held as he used it to pull himself up.

Pushing forward, James lept over to the next tank, easing his way past the waiting group. A thunderous crack a moment later had him whipping his head back around the other way. Grunt knelt on the second tank, dents in the metal beneath his knee and fist.

" _That can't be good."_

"Uh, EDI …" Uncertainty filled James' voice. "... I think Grunt's going to blow us all to hell if he has to keep jumping between tanks."

"Rerouting." EDI paused. "A new path has been identified."

"Gracias." James started moving again, apparently following the new path she designated, hopping across one more tank.

"De nada."

"EDI! You speak Spanish?" Grin evident in his voice, he eased himself out on the side of the tank.

"I am capable of speaking in every language stored in my databases, James," EDI said, the faintest hint of smugness coloring her tone. "Cerberus provided me with nearly every human language spoken, including what information survives of those you call the 'dead languages.'" She continued to talk as James pulled himself up to a narrow catwalk parallel to the where they wanted to go. "With my shackles removed, I'm able to incorporate any other languages I find data on. To better accommodate our crew, I have added the most commonly spoken dialects of krogan, turian, quarian, drell, batarian, salarian, and asari. However, I haven't found reason to use these, since everyone is equipped with a translator."

"Damn." James got to his feet and turned, reaching back out toward Jacob. "Maybe I should start calling you Rosetta."

"I believe that is a reference to the Rosetta Stone," EDI said as James helped everyone up, "the granodiorite stele inscribed with a decree from King Ptolemy the Fifth in three languages, later discovered in seventeen ninety-nine and used to translate Egyptian hieroglyphics."

"Uhhh, yeah." He edged out, turning sideways to creep along the narrow beam connecting to the next catwalk. "Sure."

"Assigning nicknames to people you know appears to be a sign of affectionate feelings for those individuals." EDI paused. "Rosetta would be an appropriate nickname, I would find this choice acceptable."

James chuckled, the camera shaking as the angle started to tilt, and Shepard sucked in a sharp breath. Biotic flames surrounded him, flaring up to fill the screen. "Shit." He turned his head, looking at Samara.

Jack started massaging Shepard's shoulders again, and she felt herself relax, the act reminding her she needed to stay calm.

The Justicar smiled and dipped her head, pulling her biotics back once the marine righted himself once more. "Please be careful, Lieutenant. It would be unfortunate if you fell."

"Ha, yeah." Turning to look back out over room, glancing at the floor below before the catwalk in the distance, he started moving again. "Thanks."

He made it across and stepped to the side, watching as the others followed suit. With everyone safely on the catwalk, he turned and waited a few seconds before moving on. Shepard watched with rapt attention, the team crossing into territory she had no familiarity with. The catwalks seemed endless, stretching through the reaper's corpse. Husks and abominations scaled the walls in the distance, howling as they tried to find a way over to James and the others. A few of them losing their footing, falling into the darkness.

Twice the team passed an area where the nightmares did make their way up onto the catwalks. With no real room to flank or even really maneuver and nothing to take cover behind, the team fought haphazardly, bottlenecked and forced to shoot around one another. It was there the biotics proved to be the most useful, and James didn't complain once when Jacob nudged past him to fling two husks over the side.

Eventually the catwalks wound around, taking them back out over the dragon's teeth they'd seen earlier. James called Legion up, letting him take point while he tracked down the source he'd detected. After two more attacks, Legion turned left, moving out onto a wide platform. At the far end, a pillar stood with deep, purple lights tracing lines through the matte, black metal. The sight of it made Shepard's skin crawl; it looked similar to the prothean beacons, but it screamed 'indoctrination'.

" _What the fuck is that?"_ Jane sounded every bit as unnerved as Shepard felt.

"James," Shepard warned, "you need to stay back. All organics need to stay away from that thing."

James held up a fist, halting his team. "Legion, we'll wait here."

The geth stopped long enough to dip his head at James. "Yes."

The lights grew brighter, pulsating as a deep, resonate thrum sounded from the pillar, loud enough to reach Shepard's ears through the comms. Dark, wispy tendrils reached out, meeting Legion halfway, wrapping around him and skirting through him, filling every little opening in his platform before slipping away from him, ineffective as they retreated. James shifted around, the camera almost seeming to shudder as he stood guard.

Reaching the pillar, Legion began scanning the piece of reaper tech. He reached out, and the second his hand made contact, a pulse shot out from the device, sweeping over the geth before racing across the empty space to slam into James and the others, knocking him back. Tali's scream echoed through the comm, loud and deafening.

"Tali!" Shepard shot out of her chair, heart racing, and slammed her palms down on the table, leaning in toward the screen. "James! Talk to me, what's happening?" She held her breath, calling out to him again when she got no response, "James!" Damn it, all she saw was the floor, Legion's legs in the distance, and the lower part of the artifact. "Vega!"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Stop screaming." The camera jerked around as James dragged himself back to his feet and shook his head. "Everyone alright?" He turned, and Shepard exhaled, seeing everyone in one piece.

Jacob pulled Tali back over the edge of the catwalk, his arms and biotics wrapped around her while she clung to him. The quarian trembled visibly as Jacob sat her back on the ground, but she was alive and her suit seemed intact. Samara pushed her fingers into the floor, working a knee under her before getting her footing. Grunt appeared unfazed by the blast, clearly the only one. They were all alive, thank gods.

"My scans indicate the pulse is an alarm of sorts," EDI said. "While it does not appear to hold any indoctrination capabilities, I believe it has signaled your location to the remaining ground troops. I suggest you don't linger here much longer."

No sooner than the words left EDI's non-existent mouth, dark shapes flooded over the edges of the platform, heading straight for Legion—and fast. Their resemblance to the keepers on the Citadel seemed unmistakable, only they looked as if they'd been dipped in tar and then rolled through scrap metal, sharp, jagged edges sticking out at odd angles. James didn't stop to ask questions, lifting his assault rifle and opening fire. Some of them diverted, moving toward James, but most of them stayed the course. Within moments, James was on the move, dancing around the area to get a better shot, making her lose track of Legion.

" _What the hell are those things?"_ Jane gave the impression she narrowed her eyes at the screen, struggling to make sense of what she saw there. " _We've never seen them before. They're like … like …"_

"Wardens," Shepard whispered, not entirely sure what crevice of her mind the word crawled out of, but found it fitting all the same.

One of the wardens exploded, sending shrapnel through the air and knocking James back, covering the camera in thick, blue-green goop, streaked through with the black substance coating them. "Shields are down." Something, probably his hand, swiped away the slime, giving her eyes on the fight again.

"Shepard." Garrus groaned, dragging her attention to him for just a second as he pulled himself out of his chair.

She turned her gaze back to the screen, seeing the black, smoky tendrils reaching out toward James. "Vega, you need to get back. You're getting too close to the artifact."

"Shepard," Garrus said again, easing up next to her and laying a hand on her shoulder. "You need to calm yourself down or Dr. Chakwas is going to come in here."

"I'm monitoring her, Garrus, she hasn't yet reached dangerous levels of brain activity." EDI's voice softened. "But he's right, Shepard. Perhaps it would be best if you don't continue to watch the ground team's progress."

"Not going to happen, EDI." Biting her lip, she looked at Garrus, the worry clear in his beautiful, blue eyes. It tore at her, she hated seeing him upset, having him constantly be so concerned for her. She sucked a deep breath in through her nose and nodded. "I'll try harder." Sliding her arm around his waist and stepping into his side, she turned her gaze back to the screen. "I can't leave them, though."

"I know." He hummed, wrapping his arm around her back to hold her shoulder and pressed his mouth against the side of her head.

The battle still waged, husks and abominations joining the fray, but James retreated from the pillar, and as he turned, Shepard saw Legion rejoined them. He emptied another clip at the reaper troops before glancing over his shoulder. "Fall back to the walkway. Grunt, you first, if they come at us from the other side, I need you there to take point." James walked backwards, keeping his gun aimed at the enemies swarming in from the platform. "Grunt! Now! Go!"

Grunt snarled but did as ordered, slamming the butt of his shotgun into the face of a husk before leveling it on an abomination and pulling the trigger as he spun, running for the catwalk. Waiting for all the others to file in, James took to the catwalk last, holding the reaper troops at bay with his assault rifle. Getting a little space between his team and the mindless creatures all trying to pile onto the catwalk at once, James flung a flag grenade out into their midst. The explosion tore through half a dozen of them, knocking a handful more over the edges, but still they came. He tossed another frag grenade, hitting a burning abomination, making the explosion far more spectacular, sending flames and shrapnel flying, ripping through reaper troops and the catwalk alike. Metal screeched, the railing rending free from the base, panels buckling under the weight of the troops.

" _It's giving out, they're going to fall!"_ Jane yelled, making Shepard wince.

"Shit! Go, go, go!" James turned, shoving at Jacob's back as they ran for the other end, the sound of bolts snapping hurrying them along.

He slipped, grabbing onto the railing to keep from falling as the catwalk tilted beneath their feet, forcing them to keep moving up a slope. Glancing behind him, Shepard saw the catwalk torn in two, one piece dangling at the far end for a second before falling into oblivion. Wardens turned, making their way back to the platform with the artifact, showing the same indifference of their less-altered kin on the Citadel. Husks and abominations paced the area, some climbing down over the side, others turning and shambling back with the wardens. Looking forward again, James pulled himself along, watching as Grunt reached safer ground and turned to help the others.

Breath heaving over the comm, James called out, "EDI?"

"I'm here, James," EDI said, her voice sounding reassuring.

"Can you get us back on track to the IFF?" He reached the end, palm slapping into Grunt's outstretched hand.

"Right away." EDI fell silent for a moment. "I have calculated your route. I will send it to your heads up display when you are oriented."

More of the catwalk fell as Grunt helped James onto stable ground. The marine bent over, hands braced on his knees, breathing slowing. "Legion, did you get what you needed off that thing?"

" _Too close."_ Relief swept through the link between Jane and Shepard.

"Agreed," Shepard thought.

Legion's feet shifted into view. "Yes."

"Good." James nodded, straightening to look at the geth. "Let me know if you pick up on anything else you need."

"Yes." Legion adjusted his grip on his rifle.

"Alright, EDI, I'm ready." James' camera swept over the team, jerking as he nodded. "Let's keep moving before more show up to investigate the blast."

Shepard let out a heavy breath and turned, tugging Garrus along with her back to their chairs. She helped him sit before taking her own seat, scanning the room to find Jack missing. "Where'd Jack go?"

"Down to get us something to eat." He took her hand, brushing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Oh." Eyebrows inching up, she smiled. "That's nice of her."

"She's worried about you. About both of us." He chuffed, tightening his grip on her hand. "I keep telling her I'm fine, but …."

"She's still blaming herself." Shepard sighed. "I'd hoped our talk helped."

"It did. I don't know what you said to her, but whatever it was … it got her to come see me. Thank you, by the way, but you know Jack. Hmmm. She's stubborn." He grinned at her, mandibles flaring. "I guess I have a thing for stubborn."

Shepard chuckled, leaning over to kiss him. Running her free hand down his mandible, she smirked, letting a little sultry heat enter her voice. "Maybe stubborn just has a thing for you, what with your sexy voice and bad-boy, vigilante streak."

"Seriously, Shepard?" Tali's chastising voice filled the room. "We can hear you two, you know?"

Smile widening, Shepard kept her gaze locked with his as she responded, "You can't tell me you don't think his voice is sexy, Tali."

The quarian scoffed. "Keelah."

Garrus laughed, the sound easing into a soft hum as he hooked a knuckle under Shepard's chin and tugged her back to him, pressing his mouth against hers, tongue slipping past her lips to dance across hers before retreating once more. "I miss you, Dawn," he said, his voice gravely, soft and low, filled with a lustful hunger that made her skin prickle.

"I miss you, too," she whispered, closing her eyes and pressing her head against his. "And I'm sorry I keep putting you through all this shit."

He hushed her, cradling the back of her head to hold her there a moment longer. She sucked in a deep breath, pulling away when the sounds of battle filled the room once more. She watched as James and the others fought their way through more reaper troops, starting to feel blessedly detached from it all as she focused on the feel of Garrus' hand on her thigh.

Jack returned as the ground team started moving again, Thane following behind her, both carrying overladen trays. They sat them down on the table before doling out bottles of water and steaming bowls of stew. Thane glanced at the screen before turning his back to it, leaning against the table to face Shepard. She smiled at him, grateful to have the three of them there with her.

"Anyone dead yet?" Jack folded her legs under herself, sitting on the floor next to Garrus.

"Not yet." His mandibles fluttered before flaring out to the sides. "Not that James isn't trying  _really_  hard."

"Come on over if you think you can do better." James' voice drew everyone's attention to the screen.

Thane chuckled, glancing back at Garrus. "I'm sure Shepard wouldn't have sent him if she didn't have faith in his ability to lead the team."

"You hear him, Scars?" James snickered. "Shepard has faith in  _me_."

Garrus flicked his mandible at the screen, but directed his response to Thane. "I'm sure she wouldn't have sent him at all if I wasn't still recovering."

She blew across a spoonful of stew and met Thane's gaze. "James has this." She grinned. "If he didn't, Garrus wouldn't feel the need to whip out the metaphorical measuring stick to see who has the biggest dick."

Laughter filled the room, both coming through the comms and from Jack, overshadowing the light chuckle shaking Thane's shoulders. Garrus chuffed, but smirked when she glanced at him. She winked before taking her bite, the stew hot and savory, easing even more of the tension she'd been holding on to since James and his team stepped foot onto the dead reaper.

"It's alright, Ídolo." James seemed to put a little more swagger in his step. "We all know who'd win."

Garrus laughed, dry and mocking, shaking his head. "Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night, Vega."

Shepard leaned back in the chair, resting an ankle on the opposite knee, smiling to herself as she ate. On the screen, Legion detoured the group again, stopping at a console to gather data—thankfully without incident. Shepard finished her stew while he combed the reaper's systems, trying to ignore the fact they'd already been on the reaper longer than she'd ever been in her memories—Jane's and the other's memories. Not her memories. She was never there.

" _You are us, Dawn. More so now than ever. Does it really matter if you were physically ever there?"_ Jane sounded resigned as she thought about the faces now missing from her dark world in Shepard's mind. " _The memories are in your head, too. Even now your brain is forming new synapses, reshaping itself to accommodate the memories of the lives you stole."_

"It does matter," Shepard thought, ignoring the accusation, refusing to apologize again for doing what she needed to do. "I am my own person, and I refuse to lose myself in all of this."

" _I once said the same thing. I thought I was strong enough to withstand whatever hell the galaxy threw at me, so long as I had Kaidan by my side and my best friend at my six."_ Memories of Kaidan's hand on her face colored Jane's words, giving them life and meaning beyond what anyone else might ever understand. " _And then I sacrificed myself to save the galaxy, but it wasn't enough. I woke up again in someone else's body and did it all over again, and again, and again. The more crowded it got in here, the more voices and memories … how could I really tell where I ended and they began?"_

"Then how can you fault me for thinking it matters?" Shepard thought. "For wanting to keep myself as separate as I can?"

" _Because … your insistence, your words and actions when it comes to us … it's all so invalidating."_ The faintest hint of wounded pride seeped through in Jane's words. " _Like we're nothing but a burden, a disease with a few helpful side effects, but a disease nonetheless. We're not people to you, we're tools. Symbiotic parasites you've learned to devour for strength."_

Shepard's brow furrowed and she swallowed, letting Jane's words sink in and settle in the back of her mind, thinking, "That's not fair. I've defended you and your actions to the people I love, and I've fought to keep you together, despite your antagonism and body-snatching joy rides. I'm doing the best I can, but sometimes you just ask too much. I can't give you everything, Jane. I can't give you my life." She felt Jane retreat, and she turned her attention fully back to the screen.

The team kept moving, Legion stopping twice more to examine the strange, unnerving pillars of indoctrination, and both times his meddling sent out a shockwave, bringing a fresh horde of the wardens scurrying to defend the architecture. Working a hunch, Shepard told James to hold fire. Her gut told her so long as Legion didn't attempt to damage the artifact, and the team didn't shoot at them, the wardens wouldn't attack. Instead they simply surrounded the geth, swarming around him, putting themselves between the pillar and Legion until he left. Unfortunately, it was only a matter of seconds before the abominations and husks showed up, forcing James and the others to start shooting. Those extra seconds counted, though, giving Legion the chance to get whatever he needed and make his way back to the team, allowing them a faster retreat that didn't involve blowing up catwalks with people still on them.

Eventually, they found their way back to the room with the IFF. Tali and Legion set to work right away, securing the IFF to ensure it wouldn't transmit any data until EDI could perform all the tests she needed.

"The drive core is in the next room, there's a console inside Legion was using when we caught back up to him again. Let him do whatever he needs to do, and give him cover." Shepard pushed herself back to her feet. Setting her bowl down on the empty tray next to Thane, she pressed her palms against the table, leaning closer to the screen. "The reaper troops are going to be coming at you hard and fast from both sides. Once he has what he needs, you're going to need to shoot the drive core, but it has a shutter that will close over it every so often. Once the core is out, you need to run like hell."

"Copy that." James checked his assault rifle. "Everyone hear Shepard?" He looked around him, getting nods and 'yeahs' from everyone before jerking his head toward the door. "Good, let's do this."

Shepard took a deep breath. "EDI, tell Joker to be ready."

"We are ready, Shepard," EDI said.

James opened the door, and the team stepped inside, fanning out and taking up position wherever he ordered. Legion made his way to the console, Tali and Jacob taking up position beside him. Samara stood in the middle of the walk, situated between the stairs on either side. Grunt moved down the stairs to the left of the door, and James took up position opposite of him on the right. Shepard couldn't see Legion from James' current position, but she trusted the geth to do whatever he needed as quickly as possible. The rush started, abominations and husks crawling up over the edges to charge the team.

Thane turned to face the screen, too, and rested a hand on the small of her back, offering her silent support as she clenched her jaw and fists, staring at the screen unblinking as if her sheer force of will might kill the reaper troops. A husk jumped on Tali, and Shepard hissed, holding her breath until Jacob flung it off of her with his biotics.

"Alright, people, we're getting overrun spread out like this." James glanced over his shoulder, giving Shepard a view of Grunt charging into an abomination only to have it explode in his face. "Pull back closer to Legion's position. Keep them off the stairs." Following his own orders, the marine moved, walking backwards even as he fired on a husk whose head popped up over the edge of the platform.

"We have gathered all data available and are ready to assist." Legion's voice came through over the comm.

"Focus on the drive core, I'll cover you." Grunt jerked his head toward the drive core looming over James' shoulder, unseen by Shepard for the moment.

A second later, James gave the krogan a sharp nod, turning his back to Grunt and taking aim at the glowing mass effect core. "Legion, hit the core. Everyone else, keep those pendejos off of us."

"Target confirmed." Legion lifted his assault rifle and started firing as the shutter opened.

Despite the occasional grunt of nearby struggle, James kept his focus on the drive core, firing round after round into the blue, metal-encased sphere until the shutter closed again. He turned, reloading, and sent a spray of ammo flying at the newest cluster of husks to climb over the edge. As soon as the shutter opened again, he turned back to his task, slowly whittling away the core's structure. Shepard knew—countless memories keeping track for her—they were almost through the crystalline structure keeping the mass effect energy in place, but of course, the shutter slid closed again. James muttered a curse under his breath.

"You're almost there, Vega." She kept her voice steady, hoping to cool the marine's growing frustration before he became reckless. "Just a couple more hits."

He didn't respond to her words of encouragement, nor did she expect him to. The constant flood of reaper troops picked up momentum as the last remnants of consciousness the reaper still possessed threw everything it had at the team—a last ditch effort to hold onto its existence. Now aware they inhabited the dying, sentient machine, Shepard didn't understand why the wardens didn't show up to protect the core. The scions she understood, they were too slow and lumbering, unable to climb up from the depths the way the husks and abominations did, but surely the wardens could handle it after what she'd already seen them do. Yet they remained hidden in the shadows, only coming out when Legion disturbed one of the artifacts … maybe the pulse the pillars shot out did more to control the wardens movements than she thought.

Blood and gore soaked the floors, but the enemies kept coming, slipping in the viscera of their fallen before pulling themselves back to their feet and charging up the stairs. Grunt's yells became more and more primal, the camera showing him breaking away from the group to slam into husks, bloodrage taking hold of him. Judging by the infrequency of Jacob's biotic attacks, Shepard thought his strength must be flagging, leaving Samara to pick up his slack. The shutter slid open again, and within a couple of seconds, James and Legion shattered the core.

"Ha! Yeah! That's what I'm talking about." James threw his hands out, catching his balance as the reaper shuddered, starting its descent into the system's sun.

"Good work, Lieutenant." Shepard let out a heavy breath and leaned into Thane's side, already feeling the Normandy shifting into motion, on the way to retrieve her crew. "Now get the hell out of there."


	55. Chapter 54: I had Your Six

**Chapter 54: I had Your Six**

"Talk to me, EDI." Shepard leaned against the interior of the AI core's doorframe, keeping the doors from sliding closed. She glanced at Legion's inert platform, curled in on itself on the floor. "Should I be getting the crew ready for the collectors to breach or are we good?"

"Legion and I have networked together in an attempt to better identify and isolate all signals capable of broadcasting our location." The blue hologram popped up and flickered twice before stabilizing. "There are defense mechanisms in place, and we are constantly battling attempts to seize control of our programing. I am sorry, Shepard, but I need to devote as much of my processing power to this as possible right now. I will notify you with updates when I am able." The blue hologram flickered again and collapsed, winking out of existence, before Shepard could apologize or say anything else.

" _Either way, the collectors won't catch us off guard this time."_ Jane sounded so determined, Shepard almost believed everything might just go off without a hitch. " _We're not going to leave this ship until we're certain it's safe, and EDI's already unshackled so if anything does go wrong, she'll be able to help defend the ship from the start."_

"Yeah," Shepard muttered, rubbing the heel of her hand over her forehead. "Maybe."

She blew out a heavy breath and glanced at Lia, sitting at the back of the core, legs dangling over the edge of the bench with her shoulders slumped. The quarian shrugged before hopping down and walking over to stand in front of Shepard.

"How are you holding up, Lia'Vael vas Qwib-Qwib?" Shepard turned, draping her arm over Lia's shoulder, urging her toward the door. "Walk with me. Your AI boyfriend is out of commission, and you can't spend all of your time locked away in this tiny room."

"Legion  _is not_  my boyfriend." Lia giggled but did as asked, leaving the AI core and moving with Shepard through the med bay.

"Uh huh." Shepard snorted, flashing a smile at her. "You spend more time with him than I do with Garrus and Thane combined, and he's every bit as protective over you."

"The commander has a point, Lia," Dr. Chakwas said, the faintest hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth, gaze focused on her work in front of her.

Lia made a sound half scoff, half exasperated sigh and shook her head, making the doctor chuckle and Shepard grin. "He's … my best friend, like a brother."

"God, I hope you don't mean you let your brother play around in your suit," Kasumi said from her spot, propped up on one the beds.

Shepard let out a short bark of a laugh and shook her head. "Kasumi. No."

"Too much?" Kasumi shrugged, wincing a little with the motion, but still a smile spread over her face.

She looked better and better everyday, slowly easing the overwhelming guilt Shepard felt when she first found the woman pinned to the hangar wall, being tortured by Vasir, all for the sake of trying to get Shepard to surrender. Kasumi had been given leave to return to the hangar, to her own cot not far from James', but the thief chose to remain in the med bay for the time being. She claimed it was easier than going back and forth to the med bay every time she needed bandages changed or pain relief, but Shepard suspected Kasumi might never be comfortable in the hangar again. Really, who could blame her?

" _She is looking better, but she's not going to be able to handle the collector base. We'll have to leave her behind. Shit, we might have to leave Garrus behind, too. Who will lead the second team? Miranda? James?"_ Panic started to well up, replacing the determination coming from Jane just a moment before. " _Dr. Chakwas is probably going to try to talk us out of going, what with the way you've been lately."_

"Doesn't matter," Shepard thought, "it isn't going to happen. There's no way we're sitting out on the collector base. We have to be there, it's as simple as that. The rest we'll figure out when the time comes."

"Keelah, you're all terrible." Lia shook her head, silver eyes rolling behind her mask.

"Alright, alright." Shepard steered the girl towards the med bay door. "Let's go check on Tali, she had a suit rupture while fighting off a husk that got too close."

"Then she's probably got an infection, I'm sure her suit sealed off the rupture and administered antibiotics." Lia shrugged. "She'll be fine in a few days."

" _We need her to be fine sooner,"_ Jane groused, slipping closer and closer to that dark place of hers; the place where reason and logic evaded her, leaving only fear and regret, twisting together to create an ugly, deep-seated madness. " _We need Garrus to be fine sooner, too. We need him with us, and we can't afford to wait, not with the collectors going after Earth. This whole thing is going to hell."_

Shepard nodded in response to both Jane and Lia. "I know."

"Then why are we going to check on her?" Lia waved a hand toward the port observation door as they passed the elevator.

Shepard hummed, pulling the quarian in tighter against her side and shaking Lia a little. "Because we love her, and I'm going stir crazy."

"What's 'stir crazy?'" Lia turned her head to look at Shepard, her eyes narrowing behind her mask.

"It means she's bored out of her fucking mind." Jack's sudden voice drew Shepard's attention, and she spotted the biotic rounding the corner behind them, carrying bottles of water. Jack stopped at the elevator. "She's not the only one."

"Oh." Lia cocked her head to the side. "I forget sometimes you're not all as accustomed to spending so much time on a ship as I am."

"Better than prison." Jack chuckled, pressing the elevator call button and turning her attention to Shepard. "I've got Garrus downstairs. Dr. Chakwas said he's okay to move around the ship, so he's helping me sort through some crap." She smirked, the side of her mouth lifting in a way that had emotions from past lives humming through Shepard's mind. "Don't worry, Alliance, I'll take it easy on him."

" _What? Does she think she can fuck him better?"_ Jane gave the impression of rolling her eyes. " _Oh, shut up, John. No one's saying anything bad about her. Garrus' heart is damaged, he shouldn't be exerting himself right now."_

Shepard cocked an eyebrow, ignoring Jane's—and apparently John's—chatter. "Very easy, Jack. He hasn't been cleared for much."

"Yeah." Jack flashed her another smile as she stepped into the elevator, poking her head back out to add, "I've already been lectured by Dr. Chakwas on what he can handle, don't need to hear it from you, too."

Shepard sighed, shaking her head as the elevator door closed and turned her attention back to the port observation. She and Lia continued on, knocking on the door when they got near enough. A moment later, the door opened up to reveal Kal just on the other side.

"Commander." Kal nodded at her, tucking his hands behind his back. "Lia." He glanced over his shoulder at Tali, laying stretched out on the bed, her back turned to them. "Tali's resting, but she asked me to wake her up if you needed her for anything."

Shepard held up a hand. "No, don't wake her. I just wanted to check in on her. How's she doing?"

Kal waved his hand out toward the hall, and Shepard stepped back. He followed them out, letting the door close behind him. "Her infection is minor, but I think she's more shaken up than she's willing to admit." He relaxed his stance, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms loosely over his chest. "She said she nearly fell over the railing when one of those artifacts let out a blast, and she couldn't even see the ground below, she was so high up. She said Jacob saved her life. I guess I owe him big time."

She nodded. "James got back on his feet just in time for me to see Jacob pulling her back from the edge. I heard her scream when the blast hit," she said, suppressing a shudder, but still her voice cracked when she continued, "We've never heard her sound so terrified before. And considering some of the things we've faced … it's saying a lot."

"Commander, sorry to interrupt, but Kelly asked me to locate you since EDI's unavailable." Joker's voice came over the comm in the hall. "You've got an urgent incoming call from Admiral Hackett."

" _The collectors arrived at Earth …."_ Jane's words sent icy tendrils of dread creeping along Shepard's spine.

"Thanks, Joker. Patch it through to my cabin, I'll be right up." She turned her attention back to Lia and Kal, forcing a smile on her face to keep from causing a stir. "Sorry, I've got to take this. Let me know when Tali's up?"

"Of course, Commander." Kal gave her a curt nod, the sudden alertness of the marine telling Shepard he'd come to the same conclusion as Jane. He pushed off the wall again, studying her, looking as if he'd spring into action if she only just told him what to do.

She forced her smile wider, hoping to put him at ease. There was nothing he could do, nothing anyone on the Normandy could do. She couldn't be in two places at once, it was either help defend Earth and risk being arrested, or stay clear and hit the base as soon as EDI gave them the greenlight. The Alliance could handle a couple of collector ships, and Fedorian probably sent a few extra ships, too. They'd be fine. Earth  _had_  to be fine.

She nudged Lia with her shoulder, keeping her gaze on Kal. "And maybe put this one to work so she's not moping around the AI core while Legion's helping EDI?"

Kal chuckled and dipped his head, despite Lia's huff. "I'm sure I can find something to keep her occupied." He turned opening the door, ushering Lia inside.

Shepard left them to it, making her way up to her cabin, the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach growing with each second. The call waiting flashed on the screen made by her darkened display case when she stepped inside. She stopped in front of her desk and connected the call, pulling in a slow, steadying breath. Admiral Hackett filled the screen, head turned as he talked to someone outside of her line of sight, his own cabin in the background. Shepard cleared her throat, bringing her hand up in a salute when the admiral turned to face her.

"Shepard." He nodded his head at her, and she dropped her hand. His tight lips and the severe set of his jaw made her stomach twist and turn, warning her things were far worse than she'd thought. "The collectors are attacking Earth," he said, cutting right to the chase. "I've got Councilor Anderson on the line, I'm patching him through."

Shepard swallowed back a mouthful of hot, sour saliva. She took a deep breath and nodded. A moment later, Anderson appeared on the screen, giving her a little bit of relief as some of the budding tenseness in her shoulders eased. She swore she'd kiss Grundan Krul the next time she saw him. There was a million things she wanted to say to Anderson, but it was hardly the time for friendly reunions. Still, he smiled at her, a knowing smile that said 'thank you, old friend', and she couldn't help but to smile back, dipping her head.

"Shepard, our weapons aren't doing much against these ships." Hackett's jaw flexed and relaxed before flexing again. "Primarch Fedorian has reinforcements on the way, and Admiral Zaal'Koris of the Migrant Fleet has reached out to me, offering quarian support … he said you urged him to stay focused on getting his people resettled on Rannoch, though … that's a conversation for another time. I understand how important a peace between the quarians and geth is, so I won't request their aid unless it becomes absolutely necessary. I need whatever you can tell us to help us fight this enemy, Commander."

Head swimming, Shepard leaned forward, pressing her palms into her desk and dropped her gaze. "How many ships are we talking about, Admiral?"

"Eight cruisers, at the moment, spread out. The appear to be prepared to hit every populated landmass. So far all we've really been able to do is harry the main ships and keep them from reaching ground with their shuttles." He shook his head when she glanced back up. "But it's not going to last long if we can't do some real damage. We're taking heavy losses, and their ship design is unlike anything we've ever dealt with. From what information we've been able to gather from the colonies attacked, and what you've provided us, we know these things can land on the planet itself if they get past us. As it stands, they're not close enough for our ground defenses to get a lock on without risking whole fleets."

" _Eight!"_ Jane's shriek did nothing to help the situation, ramping up Shepard's adrenaline and carving a gouge out of her self-control. " _How the hell did they get eight cruisers there? Our intel didn't cover that many. Grundan Krul had information on two, maybe three max, in the Attican Traverse."_ Jane's thought process stalled for a moment before rushing forward at FTL speeds, churning out every worst case scenario possible.

"Dear gods …" Shepard whispered, and then swallowed again before continuing in a louder voice, "If any of the ships in Fedorian's fleets have Thanix Canons, those are your best bet." Lifting a hand, she pinched the bridge of her nose, pain and pressure building up behind her eyes and at the base of her skull. "In the meantime, sir, I suggest coordinated, focused attacks with the GARDIAN turrets on the cruisers' weapons systems, thrusters, and engines. If you take out the thrusters, they may not land because they won't be able to take off again. You already know how devastating their weapons can be." She shook her head, a sad, slow gesture of regret, the her helplessness in the situation threatening to close her throat and steal away her breath. "I'm sorry, sir, there's not much more I can tell you. They design their ships so the most vital mechanics are internalized, but the GARDIAN turrets are able to do damage."

"I see. Thank—" The admiral flailed his arms as the entire ship shook around him. The screech of rending metal ripped through the speakers, lights flickering as sparks flew.

"Admiral!" Anderson yelled, leaning in closer to his screen.

Shepard's heart pounded in her chest, her voice lost in her throat as the room spun around her. Adrenaline coursing through her system left her limbs feeling numb, weakening her knees. Hackett's ship shuddered again, throwing the admiral out of sight.

"Sir, sir, we've been breached! The collectors have boarded the ship!" A voice yelled from somewhere off screen.

" _Oh gods, they're going to take Hackett."_

"Get to the armory, Salvatore." Hackett pulled himself back up, coming into view once more. "We're not letting these SOBs take a single one of our people without a fight. Go!" He waved his hand, shooing Salvatore away. "Anderson," Hackett said, turning back to the screen, righteous rage painting his face a fiery shade of red. "We need—"

The screen went black, cutting her off from both Hackett and Anderson.

"No! No, no, no. EDI!" Shepard spun, facing the AI's access node, the motion nearly sending her face first into the floor. "EDI, can you reestablish the connection?"

"Sh … rd-Co … an … er." Legion's distorted voice came through the comm, crackling as if she listened an old-fashioned radio, badly out of tune. "... unab … lp … counter …."

"Fuck!" Shepard yelled at nothing in particular, raking her hands through her hair. She opened her omni-tool, punching in the code to call her yeoman. As soon as Kelly's face appeared, Shepard waved a hand in front of the screen, slicing through the woman's cheerful greeting. "Kelly, I need you to try to reestablish the connection to Admiral Hackett, failing that, put me through to Councilor Anderson. Now!"

" _Eight cruisers. We're going to lose Earth."_

"Right away, Commander." Kelly jerked her head, letting her arm drop as she worked at her console. "I can't get through to Admiral Hackett, Commander. I think something's interfering with their communication's systems. I'm getting Anderson on the line for you now."

" _We need to get to Earth! The collector base will have to wait."_ Jane barked out the words, anger and panic sending her careening closer and closer to the point of no return. " _What's the point in rushing to destroy the base if they've taken Earth's population? You think they're just going to let everyone go again if their base is destroyed?"_

"Thank you, Kelly," Shepard said before closing her omni-tool and turning back to the screen.

" _Stop fucking ignoring me!"_ Jane yelled, pushing against Shepard's consciousness, a ploy to get her attention more than to take control.

"What the hell do you expect me to do?" Shepard yelled back, not bothering to keep her conversation with the voice in her head a silent one.

" _I expect you to go tell Joker to hightail it to Earth."_ Jane fumed, her emotions flooding the barrier between herself and Shepard, drenching Shepard in a red fog, making her struggle to think straight. " _Those are our people, we have to do something."_

Shepard shook her head, trying to rid herself of the haze settling around her thoughts. The room spun around her and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I need to talk to Anderson. Just … just chill and let me talk to Anderson."

After a long, torturous moment of waiting, Anderson finally answered the call. Behind him, Valern paced the floor, which Shepard knew meant Tevos and Quentius wouldn't be far away. The salarian stopped, turning toward the screen when Anderson said her name. Valern frowned, coming a little closer to include himself in on the call, but Shepard ignored him for the time being.

"Anderson, I can't get Hackett back on the line. Their communication's systems are cut off." Shepard lifted a hand to rake it through her hair again, but when she saw how bad it trembled she shoved it back down to her side.

"I know, Commander. I've been trying to reestablish the connection from my end, too." Anderson shook his head, rubbing his hand over his brow. He turned, glancing over his shoulder when his door opened and Tevos walked in. Holding his hand up at the asari to ward off the million questions already forming on her lips, he turned back to the screen. "I've called the rest of the Council in, Shepard. I'm getting reports of more collector ship sightings, they're sending in reinforcements."

Shepard gripped the edge of her desk, holding on to it like a life preserver. She felt fairly certain just then, if EDI wasn't too busy to be monitoring her, the AI would be calling in every person on the ship with anything even resembling a medical degree. She'd be damned, though, if she left her cabin before she had eyes on the situation back on Earth.

The door to Anderson's office opened again, and Quentius stepped inside. The turian didn't speak, only approached the screen with a quite calm, taking up position next to Valern and tucking his hands behind his back. Tevos waved a hand in exasperation, but moved to stand on the other side of Anderson, casting a baleful glare at Shepard.

Anderson turned to address the Council, leaving the call open for Shepard. "Earth is under attack. I just lost contact with Admiral Steven Hackett as the SSV Buenos Aires was breached by collectors." He held up another hand, silencing them before they could respond. "Shepard provided Admiral Hackett with intel leading to the suspicions of an impending attack directly on Earth, and he had time to mobilize the fleets. Primarch Fedorian is already sending aid, having also been alerted to the possibility of an attack and wishing to mend wounds over this shit with The Dissension. The quarians, despite being in the middle of working out a peace agreement with the geth and reclaiming Rannoch—thanks to Shepard's efforts—have offered assistance, they're just waiting for us to give them the go ahead."

He shook his head, and Shepard bit her lip to keep from yelling at the Council, wanting desperately to tell them to get off their asses and do something. Anderson cleared his throat, tucking his hands behind his back. "Now, I know you're still gunning for Shepard over this leviathan thing, and I know I'm not your favorite person right now either, but I am still a member of this council, and the Earth Systems Alliance is still considered an ally, unless that's changed and no one's informed me. This attack is happening right now, not in the Terminus Systems, but on Earth. Can the Alliance count on its allies, the Council races, or do I need to turn to the quarians for help?"

Quentius flicked his mandibles and gave Anderson a quick jerk of his head. "I'll get in contact with Fedorian, figure out what he's already sending and see if there's anything else the turians can do to provide aid."

"Thank you, Quentius." Anderson nodded his head and then turned his attention to Valern.

"It would seem Commander Shepard has already made quite a few friends within the STG. I'll make a call, I'm sure they'll be more than willing to send assistance." Valern turned his attention to the screen, meeting Shepard's gaze. "This does not, however, resolve the situation for you, Commander. You are still expected to turn yourself in and face the charges brought against you."

"Earth is under attack, right now." Shepard leaned in toward the screen, jaw clenched so tight she could feel her teeth grinding down. "Right this very second, and I'm busting my ass to get things in order to take out the base of the assholes who are abducting my people  _and you're talking to me about bullshit charges_? Are you fucking serious?"

"Commander!" Anderson spun to face her, leveling a warning look at her hard enough to cut through glass.

Shepard growled, her frustration with the Council—no, the entire situation: The Council, the collectors, the reapers, Jane and the others trapped in her head, just everything, the entire fucked up situation—the sound ripping through her larynx despite the look he gave her. Anderson blinked once and arched his eyebrows, the closest thing to shock and offense she'd ever seen on the man's face directed at her. She forced out a heavy breath and shoved herself away from the table.

Instantly, her heart beat so hard in her chest she thought it might explode, pain lancing through her head and down her spine, vision going dark. She gasped, the cabin air suddenly feeling bone dry and hot as all hell, as if she'd just stepped into a desert. She swayed on her feet.

" _Dawn—"_ Jane's voice faded, shifting into nothing but static, an annoying fly buzzing around inside her skull.

"Shepard?" Whatever the councilor thought a moment before, concern filled his voice when he spoke, weighing his words down.

She shook her head, trying to bring her hand up to rub her eyes, but found she couldn't quite get her arm to cooperate with the gesture.

"Commander Shepard? Are you alright?" Tevos that time, a hint of panic in the asari's voice.

Shepard swayed again, trying to throw her arms out to catch herself, but instead, she stumbled, her shoulder slamming into the wall behind her before the side of her head banged against something hard and sharp. She hit the floor, or the floor hit her, she wasn't really sure anymore.

"Shepard! Shepard!" Anderson's voice gurgled, sounding as if the man talked to her from underwater, but it cut through the haze of pain, reaching her ears.

She wanted to tell him she was alright, not to worry, but she couldn't respond. She wasn't even sure if her eyes were opened or closed. Muscles spasming, sending fire washing over her from head to toe, her whole body started to twitch and shake, head bouncing on the metal beneath her.

"EDI! EDI, call Dr. Chakwas! Shepard? Can you hear me? Dear God, Shepard!" Anderson had never, not ever in all of her lives, sounded so truly terrified before. "EDI!"

* * *

"What—What's happening?" Shepard couldn't feel anything, and even though she thought her eyes were open, nothing but darkness surrounded her.

A dry, rough, cough of a laugh filled the emptiness. "If we're lucky, you're dying."

The voice, as much as the words, sent a warning alarm off in Shepard. She tried to move, to look around for the speaker but found the task impossible. No matter, something told her exactly who spoke and where she'd managed to find herself.

Someone snarled—Robert. Robert Shepard. "Fuck off, Ruby. Leave her alone."

Fear crept into Shepard's mind, scuttling along her nervous system like a cluster of spiders. Except just then, she wasn't entirely sure she  _had_  a nervous system. "No … gods, no. Jane? Jane what's happening?"

"I don't know, you overloaded, I guess." Something seemed to shift, and when Jane spoke again, she sounded somehow closer. "I can't even get through. We're all shut out. I think it means we're being sedated."

Shepard tried to swallow, the habit an old one, but completely ineffectual when she didn't even have control over her flesh. "Why is it so quiet?"

"Everyone's scared, ma'am."

"John?" Of course he was John. She knew it the split second before he spoke, as if she could feel his thoughts forming. Why'd she even bother to ask?

"Yes, ma'am. I'm here." He 'moved' a little closer to her, his voice sounding more solid and real, almost as if he'd leaned into the conversation. "Most of them are scared of you, the last time you came inside with us like this …."

She tried to suck in a deep breath, but she had no lungs to fill with air. "I killed some of them."

"And then, for shits and giggles, you killed off a few more." Ruby's voice filled with disgust.

"But some of you were already trying to kill me." As soon as the words left her nonexistent mouth, she felt the atmosphere shift, like a rabbit in the brush, suddenly becoming aware of a hawk circling overhead. Years of training and service fired off warning after warning, she'd just been dropped in the middle of enemy territory, wounded, unarmed, and quite possibly without backup.

"Nah, you've got backup, ma'am." John gave her with the impression of his hand on her left shoulder, his face flashing in front of her for the briefest of moments. "In here, you've always got backup."

She thought about her brow furrowing, because apparently, it was the best she could do. "What?"

"You don't have to say it for us to hear it, or feel it, or whatever you want to call it." Something shifted again, and Shepard could almost feel something brush up against her right side, like someone leaning against her in a show of support. In the half a second it lasted, she could see Jane, plain as day. "There's really no secrets in here."

"Brace yourself, ma'am," John said, and Shepard could tell he frowned, shoulders squared and blue eyes narrowed. "I can feel them moving in."

"When you wake up again, tell Garrus about this. Tell him I had your six." The fatalism in Jane's voice left Shepard more frightened than she'd been in a long time.

"I will, I promise. I—"

Something slammed against Shepard, images of a snarling Ruby filling her mind, pushing into her, flooding her with pure, unadulterated rage. In that instant, Shepard knew, as dangerous as she once thought Jane was, this woman, this Shepard, was far, far worse.

"Fight!" Jane yelled, and then Shepard saw Jane, too, wrapping her hand around Ruby's throat and tearing her away. "You have to fight them, Dawn."

"How? How the hell am I supposed to fight like this?" She barely got the words out before something else slammed into her: Michelle Shepard's fist.

Reflexes kicking in, her arm swung out, blocking another hit. She didn't know how she did it, it wasn't something she felt the way she would with flesh and bone, but it worked. Feeling another blow on the horizon, Shepard tried to block again, but nothing happened. The blow landed, feeling like someone punching their way right through her soul, overwhelming her senses with an utterly insane bloodlust not belonging to her, a need to fight for the sake of fighting, and then it disappeared again.

"Stop thinking about it and just  _do_ it." The man's voice seemed off, different somehow, like a distant echo, the memory of a sound. A face, darkened by the sun, hair bleached nearly white, with hazel eyes filled her mind, his name coming right along with it. He was Quinn Shepard, and she killed him to defeat Vasir. "No, I'm more alive than I've been since the day I emptied my clip into the Crucible."

Whispers of 'he's alive' and 'how' washed over Shepard, thoughts like lights flickering on and off brushed against her, but the angry swell of the tide carried them away. Ruby was at her again, and Shepard could see herself fighting the other woman, see her fists flying out to connect with Ruby's ribs. She felt herself duck out of the way of a punch, heard the click and whirl of weapons being drawn, and then somehow, beyond all reason, found her pistol there, waiting for her grip. To what end, though? She'd seen John put a bullet in Ruby's head once before, and the woman just stood up again as if nothing had happened at all. And just like that, with the one little doubt, the weapon vanished from Shepard's hand, and she found herself once again unable to move at all.

Ruby's hand closed around her throat, or what must've been her throat to her mind, and squeezed. Fingers, moving of their own accord, digging into the tendons and nerves in the crook of Ruby's thumb, destroying the other woman's grip, Shepard ripped the hand away. An eerie calm swept through her as she rammed her elbow into the other woman's nose. Stepping in behind Ruby as she recoiled, Shepard checked Ruby's shoulder, keeping her from turning before reaching around and snapping her neck.

When Ruby fell, dead for the moment, darkness surrounded Shepard again. She could feel the fight going on around her, though, hear the grunts and growls of people throwing their all into an invisible battle. Her reprieve lasted only a moment before she was tackled, thrown back into the place of  _otherness_. Insanity—for there really was no other name for what Shepard felt the moment Sarah made contact with her—clawed at her mind, slithering and seeping through the cracks and filling the crevices. Terrified by the madness, Shepard flailed, throwing the other woman off her.

"You're not supposed to be here!" Sarah wailed, lunging at Shepard again.

Shepard felt her coming that time, her intent broadcast through thoughts and emotions, and Shepard threw herself into a roll, Quinn's instructions reverberating in her mind. She stopped thinking, and just  _did_ , drawing her pistol as she came out of her roll and fired,  _knowing_  it would hit Sarah. She stopped, listening, not to the sounds but to the thoughts, catching wind of two more headed right for her. She turned, firing twice more into the darkness, trusting her shots would find their marks.

Rage, twisted and snarled, red intertwined with the blackness of hatred boiled up behind Shepard. She tried to turn, but she was too late, the tangled mass of murderous intent was on her. Ruby. Fists slammed into Shepard's face, whipping her head from side to side. She knew, somehow, her nose was broken, the metallic tang of blood slick on her tongue, pooling in the back of her throat, making her choke, threatening to drown her. Without even realizing she intended to, Shepard's biotics sprung to life, leaping from her to wrap themselves around Ruby in a Reave.

She stumbled back, doubled over as whatever energy created her, left her, pouring into Shepard instead. Pulling herself into a crouch, Shepard sprung at the other woman, knocking her back to whatever served as a ground in that place, and slapped her hand down on Ruby's chest. And there it was, that thing, the  _spark_  right there, right within Shepard's reach, all she had to do was take it and make it her own.

A vicious grin spread across Shepard's face. "Die, bitch." She felt a part of herself wrap around the spark, and then she pulled, yanking it free of the mirage.

Ruby's mouth opened in a silent, pained gasp, her head tilting back in her agony … but then, as her body laid limp and started to fade, the light slipping away from her eyes, she smiled.


	56. Chapter 55: Seventeen

**Chapter 55: Seventeen**

"Wake up, Commander." Miranda's voice reached Shepard through the fog, a spark of light cutting through, bright as a beacon before her eyelids fell closed again, darkness consuming her once more.

"Shepard, need to get up now. Under attack. Heretics found location." Mordin hovered over her, the bright, orange glow of his omni-tool burning her retinas when she pulled her eyes open again. The sounds of weapons' discharge in the distance confirmed his statement.

"What?" Her head throbbed, and her entire body felt made of lead, muscles aching, protesting the slightest movement.

"Geth heretics. On Gellix, performed surgery to add regulatory implant in occipital lobe. Should be stable now." He slid a hand under the crook of her elbow and tugged, sending pain lancing through her arm, and she hissed. "Need to get up. Facility's automated defense systems jammed." He tugged again, and Shepard groaned but helped, pulling herself upright despite feeling as if it shredded every muscle in her body. "Shadow Broker escort team working on repairs, but heretics already on ground. Invading facility. Miranda ordered Normandy to retreat, engage stealth systems."

She hissed again, sliding her legs over the edge of the operating table, the room spinning a little as she did so. How many? How many did she absorb? Were Jane and John, along with a handful of the others, still fighting somewhere locked away inside her head, trying to defend her? Glancing around her, she immediately recognized the room, the same room Jacob was treated for his gunshot wounds when she came to rescue the ex-Cerberus scientists. The same room she'd taken Talitha back through in her attempt to save the poor woman from Cerberus' torturous indoctrination experiments. The sounds of gunfire grew a little closer.

"Jane," Shepard thought, but got no response.

"Muscle soreness will ease with use. Stand, please." Mordin kept up the slight pressure at her elbow, urging her to her feet, but also offering her support just in case.

"Earth is under attack," she said, shaking off the last of her confusion. Putting her feet on the floor, she tried to stand only to have her knees give out, pain lancing up her legs, setting her feet on fire, but Mordin kept her from falling. "I need to call Anderson."

"Am aware." He held onto her, one hand gripping her arm, the other steady at her waist. "Anderson provided details after calling Dr. Chakwas."

"Dr. Chakwas?" Shepard straightened her legs, easing her weight back onto the screaming muscles of her thighs and calves.

"Take small steps, please." He shifted out from in front of her, moving to her side, but never letting her go. "Tried to summon EDI to get you help when you collapsed, started seizing. EDI unable to respond. Anderson called Dr. Chakwas directly."

The door opened, sounds of gunfire suddenly very loud and very nearby. Miranda rushed through, coming to an abrupt stop, and the door slid closed behind her, dampening the noise once more. "Good, you got her up. Walk her around the room a few times, she's going to need to loosen her muscles up."

Mordin sniffed, the sound carrying enough of his disdain he didn't need to offer any other response.

"Shepard, I'm sorry," Miranda said, shaking her head. "I'd hoped to give you more time to recover, but the geth are inside the facility."

"Yeah, I got that." She took a step, biting her lip against the pain. "What are they doing here?" She took another, cursing under her breath, but already she could feel the scorching heat in her calves easing. "Did they follow us?"

"No, I believe they were already here. I can't say for sure, but I think they might've been investigating this facility and watching it for Cerberus' return." Miranda moved to one of the shelves, pulling down Shepard's clothing and bringing it over to the bed. "It's likely the reapers were aware of the research being done here, bloody hell, it's likely half the scientists here were indoctrinated themselves. They must've seen the Normandy arrive and called in reinforcements."

"Fantastic." Shepard suppressed a groan, half annoyance, half pain. "Any news from Earth? How long was I out?" She kept walking, her stride getting a little longer, leaning on Mordin a little less.

"It's been three days since you collapsed in your cabin. You're lucky Grundan Krul was able to get the things I needed and this facility remained abandoned." Miranda made her way back to the door, drawing her pistol before she opened the door, peeking her head outside. "The Council caved to Anderson, the asari, salarian, and turians are all sending ships to Earth. I haven't heard any further news since we arrived on Gellix yesterday." She turned back to Shepard, letting the door close again. "They've almost made it to the last set of stairs. Do you think you're ready to move, Shepard?"

Shepard pulled away from Mordin, finding herself able to stand steady on her own, and rolled her head on her shoulders. Swinging first one arm up and around, she did the same to the other, trying to loosen the tightness and stop the burning in her other muscles. "Armor and weapons?" She jerked her thumb toward her back. "Mordin, untie me."

The professor did as asked without hesitation, untying the strings of her robe and helping to pull it away from her naked body. "On the Normandy. Were unconscious. Coming in for brain surgery. Did not think it likely you'd be in position to use them."

"Excellent." Shepard made her way back to the bed where Miranda left her clothes and leaned against the side, picking up her panties, she carefully lifted one leg to slide it through the first hole. "Who's down here with us?"

"Dr. Chakwas refused to allow Garrus to come, and he threw a big enough fit she almost needed to sedate him." Miranda rolled her eyes. "Thane calmed him down, reassuring Garrus he'd be with you the entire time. He's right outside the door now, guarding the room. James is on the stairs along with Kal, and Tali is on the roof with Feron and the others the Shadow Broker sent with the supplies. They're working to get the AA guns back up and running."

"Holy fucking hell!" Shepard hissed and growled, her arms locking up on her completely when she tried to reach behind her to close her bra.

Mordin took over for her without asking, ever the pragmatic one. Then again, she did ask him to strip off what little clothing she wore just a few moments before. He clasped her bra while she worked on getting her arms to relax, just barely able to move them back down to her sides. He picked up her shirt, rolling it in his hands until he cleared the opening for her head, and with a gentleness he always surprised her with, he eased it over her head, taking extra care over the fresh wound on the back of her skull. She managed to get her arms through the holes on her own, and steadied herself against the bed. Resting one hand on his shoulder, she lifted a leg as he squatted in front of her, holding her pants out for her to step into. With minimal awkwardness, he got her boots on, laced up, and tied, too.

"I need a weapon. I'm not going out there without armor  _or_  a gun." She rolled her shoulders again. "Is it safe to use my biotics?"

"It shouldn't be a problem, but it'll only drain your energy faster. If you're going to use them, use them wisely." Miranda moved back to the door, taking up position with her pistol at the ready.

Mordin pulled out a M6-Carnifex, checking it over before handing it to her along with a spare clip. "Always carry backup."

She smirked, testing the weight of the weapon in her hands, making sure her grip wouldn't give out. "Thanks. Alright, let's get out of here." She glanced at Miranda. "Do you have a plan?"

"We're going to head to the roof, rendezvous with the others. Once the AA guns are back online, we can set them to target the geth dreadnaught." She opened the door, gaze sweeping the area before she waved Shepard on. "I was able to break through the jamming in the facility and retake control of the interior systems. I had to use my alpha code, but I locked down the doors on the lower floors. It'll keep more geth from getting inside, at least for now, but it means …."

"It means the Illusive Man knows we're here." Shepard sucked in a deep breath, putting her back to the edge of the door frame before peering around the corner. "He probably knew either way. I'm sure someone on the crew reported it to him by now." She caught sight of Thane and something inside of her eased. Turning her attention back to Miranda, she left the room, staying as low as her achy muscles would allow, and moved to Thane's side, talking over her shoulder. "Stop calling them geth; they're not geth, they're heretics."

Miranda scoffed, moving up to take point while Mordin fell in behind Shepard. "Now really isn't the time for political correctness, Commander."

"Siha," Thane said, just loud enough for her to hear, his fingertips brushing over her jaw before returning to grip his gun.

She offered him the best smile manageable in the moment. "The next time I'm unconscious and they decide to take me off the Normandy to perform surgery, make sure they bring my armor and guns with me."

He chuckled, dipping his head. "Indeed, but hopefully there will be no next time."

"Irrelevant." Mordin sniffed. "Unlikely could handle the weight of armor right now."

Miranda lifted her hand to her ear, activating her comm as she moved them toward the back of the room, stopping at the head of the staircase leading down. "James, Kal, we've got the commander up and are moving toward the roof. Fall back and join us. EDI can navigate the shuttle to our location."

Shepard reached up, finding her own comm missing. Mordin tapped her on the shoulder, holding his hand out next to her side. She glanced down, finding the little earpiece nestled in his palm. Plucking it from his hand, she worked it back into her ear, turning it on. Gun at the ready, she turned toward the stairs, ready to cover James and Kal's retreat.

A moment later, James came into view at the foot of the stairs, facing the door down below, assault rifle peppering the air with rounds. A few seconds after, Kal did the same, lobbing a grenade at the heretics before disappearing from sight again. James lowered his weapon a fraction, telling Shepard they weren't being immediately pursued.

When he turned to look at Shepard, James flashed her his best shit-eating grin. "Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty. Nothing like an ambush to get you on your feet again, eh, Ídolo?" He jogged up the stairs.

Kal laughed, following behind him. "I jammed the lock on the door. It won't keep them out for long, but it'll buy us some time." He moved in to take up position with the others, forming a wall around her. Glancing over his shoulder at her, he bobbed his head. "Good to see you up again, ma'am."

She forced her lips up in a smile, all to aware it probably looked more like a grimace with the way her stomach writhed and her muscles twitched. "Yeah, let's just hope I stay this way." It wasn't just the pain, or even the tension of expecting heretics to pour around the corner at any moment, but the thoughts of Admiral Hackett and his crew being taken by the collectors—hell, of the entire population of Earth being taken by the collectors.

James took point, just in front of Kal, and Miranda moved back to Shepard's left. As a group they moved to the door at the back of the room, letting Shepard set the pace. Crowding into the dark space beyond the door, they waited while Kal jammed the lock behind them.

"Shit." Shepard let out a groan.

"What's wrong?" Miranda eyed her, hand moving to Shepard's arm.

"The ladder." Shepard nodded up ahead. "I'm going to slow us down even further getting up that damn thing."

James turned to look at her, shrugging his shoulders. "You can ride on my back."

The thought of hanging on to the marine, hard, ceramic armor digging into her already yelping muscles sounded even less appealing than climbing the damn thing herself. "Yeah, that's not happening."

Miranda let go of Shepard's arm. "I can pull you up with my biotics. I'm strong enough, and I have enough control. It shouldn't be a problem."

Shepard hesitated, weighing out her options. "I guess it's worth a shot. You sure?"

"Positive." Miranda glanced at her, giving her a sly, cocky smirk. "I can do it with James first, if you want, just to be sure. I'll let him back down easy if I find he's too heavy. Probably."

"Uhhh … I'm good with the ladder," James said, turning back around, "thanks."

"He'd probably see it as foreplay." Knowing damn well the operative toyed with James brought a smirk to Shepard's face, despite everything else going on in her mind. She also knew it meant the marine finally wormed his way past Miranda's icy, outer shell—maybe because he locked his sights firmly on Kasumi instead of chasing after her like a dog with his tongue hanging out.

Miranda snorted, just as they reached the ladder. James stowed his assault rifle and started climbing, unholstering it again once he reached the top. Kal waited next to the ladder, waving Miranda up first. She turned at the top, looking back down at Shepard and arched an eyebrow.

Shepard glanced at Thane. "Catch me if she drops me?" She didn't really have a single doubt Miranda could pull it off without a hitch, and really, the drop wasn't that far if she did fall, but even feeling like shit, she didn't want to pass up the chance to give the operative a hard time.

"Of course," he said, already holstering his pistol.

"I'm not going to drop you, Shepard. Have a little faith." Miranda's biotics sprung to life, blue flames dancing over her body. "Are you ready?"

Shepard flipped the safety on the Carnifex and shoved it into her waistband. "Alright, let's do this. Just remember, you break it, you buy it."

Miranda snorted, working the energy down into her palms. "I already own it, my mark is on every one of those implants holding you together."

Shepard had to fight the instinct to dodge out of the way as Miranda flung the dark energy at her, surrounding her in a blue haze. Her feet left the ground, and for a second she just hovered there, her skin tingling with the foreign feel of someone else's biotics, and then she began to rise further up in the air. When her feet cleared the next level, Miranda took a few steps back, pulling her along until she safely floated over solid ground. Lowering her gently back to the floor, Miranda held Shepard wrapped up in her biotics for a few seconds longer, letting the energy eek away, the weightless feeling gradually leaving Shepard, forcing her to stand on her own two feet again with a whimper.

Thane crested the ladder a second later, his hand finding the small of her back while she steadied herself. She took a cleansing breath, rolling her head on her shoulders before drawing her pistol again. Nodding, she moved forward to get out of the way of the others coming up.

"Heretics breaking through. Need to keep moving," Mordin said as soon as his head popped up over the edge.

"James, let's go." Shepard started moving again, urging the others along as they kept her sequestered between them.

"I hear fighting ahead, Commander." James glanced back over his shoulder. "The heretics must've made it to the roof."

Shepard brought her hand to her mic. "Tali, this is Shepard, what's your status?"

"We've got the first AA gun back online, but the heretics are swarming the roof, we can't get to the second one." The thick, nasally tone to Tali's voice told Shepard the quarian was still recovering from her suit breach and should probably be taking it easy, not fighting heretics. "We can't fire on the dreadnaught until both guns are online."

"We're on our way to you now, but the heretics aren't far behind us." Shepard forced herself to pick up the pace, determined to power through the pain just like any other time. She'd been through far, far worse and kept fighting. "Focus on getting to the gun, we'll try to pull them away from you."

A hint of confidence crept back into Tali's tone as she said, "Understood, Shepard."

They made their way around the bend, each step sending fresh waves of pain through Shepard's legs, but each new pang felt a little less intense. Thane helped her over the exterior vent shafts, steadying her as she regained her footing. The sounds of gunfire and the chattering of heretics grew louder as they climbed the ramp. She couldn't see them yet, but she knew exactly where they'd be. Pointing her team toward the AA guns, she ordered James and Mordin ahead to help Tali and Feron. Kal covered their six while Miranda and Thane helped her up onto the crates near the edge of the raised stage where the AA guns were stationed. Just as Thane started to lift her again, the battle ahead of her clearly in sight, she heard the sounds of heretics approaching from the rear, and Kal opened fire.

"Miranda," Shepard called to the woman already taking cover on the next level, letting off a couple of shots into the fray. "They're behind us."

Thane eased her back down, sweeping her into his arms despite her hiss of pain and exasperated sigh. Dropping off the crate back to the level below, he crouched, easing her to the ground behind cover. "Stay down, siha."

She snorted, pressing her back to the crate and peered around the edge, lining up a shot on a heretic moving to cover and fired twice. "This isn't the first fight I've been in wounded, Thane. I'm sore, not bleeding to death."

"You just woke from surgery, your skull is still healing." He raised a brow ridge, somehow the simple gesture conveyed a heavier amount of censure than words alone. "The anesthesia is likely still muddling your response time, siha."

"This isn't the first fight I've been in after—"

"Siha."

"Alright, alright." She huffed, hoping to put a swift end to the conversation. "I won't take any risks, but I'm not just going to sit here hiding. And if you think for a second that any amount of 'sihaing' will get me to, you've obviously forgotten who you've been sharing a bed with."

He let out his own exasperated sigh, ducking out of cover long enough to fling his biotics at a heretic. Miranda kept her position above, changing cover so she was protected on two sides—so long as the fight on the upper level didn't move her way. Shepard lost eyes on Kal, but the rapid-fire sound of his assault rifle gave her an estimate of where he'd gone to cover at her left.

Peering around the edge again, she just barely caught sight of a trooper standing behind a taller stack of crates, the angle to her location giving her a rough shot. She bit the corner of her lip, letting her biotics trickle through, a faucet set to drip, testing the way it made her feel. When her amp didn't instantly overheat, and no other warning bells went off in her head, she turned the tap, setting her fist aglow before flinging out a Shockwave. The trooper stumbled back out of cover along with a second she didn't even know was there. Her team didn't let her down, taking the opportunity she gave them to end the two heretics.

The distinct sound of a biotic Slam kept Shepard informed of Miranda's actions, tucked away out of sight. Thane flung biotics over the top of the crate—Shepard unable to tell the effects from her position—before firing off a few shots. Peeking around the edge again, she spotted a heretic hunter, its cloak a faint distortion to the air as it crept along, moving in on Kal's position.

She tapped her mic. "Kal," she said, lowering her pistol at the heretic. "You've got a cloaked hunter moving in on your twenty." She pulled the trigger, dropping the heretic's cloak, and before she could take another shot, the sharp staccato of Kal's assault rifle ripped through the air, tearing down the hunter.

Jane roused in the back of Shepard's mind, sounding winded and exhausted. " _What's that saying? Out of the frying pan and into the fire?"_

"The guns are active!" Tali called over the comm.

"You alright?" Shepard thought, waiting for the affirmative hum from Jane before lifting her hand to her mic again. "Good, set it to target the ship and start firing," she said, firing off a couple of shots. "EDI, lock onto the dreadnaught and start firing, too. Take them down or chase them out of here, whatever."

Sounding suddenly more alert but guarded, Jane said, " _She put in the implant."_

"Locking on to the heretic dreadnaught now, Shepard," EDI said.

"Yeah," Shepard thought. "Can't really tell if it's doing anything yet, though."

The AA guns fired, their force vibrating the crate at her back. A moment later, Feron dropped down over the edge a few feet away, landing in a crouch. He met her gaze, holding it for just a second. Thane glanced over his shoulder at the other drell, and Feron dipped his head before running across the way, staying low to the ground. Turning out, she provided him covering fire until the Carnifex clicked, out of ammo.

Shepard ejected the empty clip, sliding a full one in. An asari she'd never met dropped from the same location as Feron, but instead of staying low, she stood, pulling biotic energy up around her and throwing it out over Shepard's head. Glancing over the edge, Shepard saw a Singularity, pulling in heretics, twirling them about in the air. Firing off three more rounds, she helped to take out the floaters. When she turned back around, the asari crouched next to her, shotgun in hand.

The woman smiled, nodding her head. "Commander. We've been asked to keep you safe until you've returned to your ship. The Shadow Broker said you wouldn't make it easy on us, but I didn't expect to find you in the thick of a firefight with the geth a day after having your head cut open." She chuckled, starting to push to her feet again. "I guess the rumors about you are all true."

"Only a few of them." Shepard peered around the edge, not seeing an easy target.

The asari pulled her biotics up again, flinging them out over the crate before crouching down again. "Yeah? Which few?"

Shepard snorted, glancing over to where Feron took cover. "Only the good ones."

Feron turned out of cover, taking aim with a pistol and fired three times before ducking back behind the crate.

EDI's voice filled her ear. "The heretic dreadnaught is retreating, Shepard. They are still within range. Should we continue to fire?"

She sucked in a deep breath. "Take them out if you can, EDI, but do not pursue."

"We're clear up here, Shepard," Tali said through the comm.

Thane put his back to the crate, glancing at her. "The ground troops are falling back, as well."

"Continuing assault," EDI said, and then a moment later added, "The heretic dreadnaught is preparing to enter FTL. It is unlikely with the damage they've sustained that the ship will survive such a jump, however."

"Thank you, EDI." Shepard peeked around the edge, finding the area clear. "Can you move the shuttle to our location?"

"Right away, Shepard."

Shepard took Thane's hand when he stood, letting him help her pull up, and then she glanced at the asari. "Do you have a ship waiting?"

"We do." The woman gave Shepard a quick nod. "The captain retreated when the dreadnaught arrived, but we've stayed in communication. We have a shuttle not far from where you landed."

"How many of you are there groundside?" Shepard moved to the edge of the crate, managing to push herself up onto the surface on her own, hesitant to show weakness in front of strangers, but still, she felt Thane's hand at her back.

"Four."

Shepard stood, moving to the low wall made by the upper level and turned to look over her shoulder, seeing Kal and Feron approaching. Kal moved up next to the crate and turned, putting his back to Shepard while he watched over the area. Feron smiled, dipping his head to her before coming to a stop next to the asari.

"We'll give you a lift back to your shuttle," Shepard said, turning to push herself up to the next level.

"Thank you, Commander," Feron's gravely voice answered, "but it won't be necessary. Our shuttle is equipped with an automated navigation VI. I can call it to our location with my omni-tool."

Both shuttles waited by the time they made it across to meet back up with the others. Along with Feron and the still unknown asari, Grundan Krul sent a human and a salarian, their faces hidden behind helmets. She supposed it was better that way.

Leaving them their anonymity, she didn't ask for their names, but she held her hand out to each of them. "Thank you."

Feron lingered as the others climbed into the shuttle, closing the distance between himself and Shepard, moving into whispering range, gaze darting to Thane at her side before returning to hers. "The Shadow Broker asked that I inform you he's located Spectre Protalus."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Where is she?"

"In a turian colony on Oma Ker, it's in the Aethon Cluster. I'll send you the coordinates." He opened his omni-tool.

"Do we know what she's doing there?" Shepard's omni-tool pinged, and she opened it just long enough to dismiss the notification. She'd look into it later, she had far more important things to worry about.

"No, not yet." Feron tucked his hands behind his back. "But we can look into it further, if you'd like."

She nodded, leaning into Thane's side when he placed a hand on the small of her back. "Keep me updated."

Feron dipped his head, turning on his heel, and joined the others in his shuttle. She watched as he closed the door behind him, the shuttle lifting into the air. Waving her crew to the Cerberus shuttle, she looped her arm through Thane's and let him guide her inside. The second she sat down, Miranda opened her omni-tool and began scanning.

"The implants may need more calibrating, it's not working as quickly as anticipated, though activity  _is_ decreasing." She hummed, her gaze shifting over her omni-tool's screen. "Unless …."

"Unless I took in more of them." Shepard took in a deep breath, letting it seep back out of her. "They attacked me. I did what I had to do."

Miranda blinked, leaning forward on the edge of her seat. "How many?"

" _Seventeen."_ Jane almost sounded proud, a shocking contrast to how she felt the last time. " _Ruby, Michelle, Sarah, Dante, Philip, Janine, Cynthia, Ron, Olivia, Isabel, Mya, Noha, Lilith, Jeanne, Bobby, April, and Katarina."_

Shepard swallowed, shifting a little in her seat, dropping her gaze to the floor in front of her feet. "I killed Seventeen." But then, Quinn's words echoed back to her: ' _... I'm more alive ….'_


	57. Chapter 56: Three Million

**Chapter 56: Three Million**

Garrus wrapped his arms around her, holding her in death's grip the second she stepped out of the shuttle. Chuckling, she slid her arms around his waist and pressed her face against his chest, breathing in his scent and letting it ease some of the tension balled up inside of her. He nuzzled the top of her head, so she lifted her face to him, pressing her lips against his mouth.

Pulling away, she slipped her hand into his to lessen the sting. "I need to call Anderson." She turned on her heel, knowing he'd understand and utterly unsurprised when he tightened his grip on her fingers, following behind her.

She glanced over at him when his longer stride brought him even with her, and she realized he moved with far more surety and ease than he did the day she collapsed. If anyone could make a full recovery after being electrocuted badly enough to stop their heart, it was Garrus. She smiled at him, and he flicked a mandible at her, lifting her hand to his mouth to kiss her fingers.

Thane held the elevator door opened for them, and Shepard glanced around, seeing everyone else already left the hangar. She stepped inside and leaned against the back wall, tugging Garrus in closer when he did the same. Thane hit the button for her cabin before tucking his hands behind his back and turning to face her.

She offered him a weak smile when he met her gaze. "You should get some rest. Something tells me you haven't slept through all of this."

"On the contrary, Garrus and I," he said, gesturing between the two of them, "slept in shifts next to you while you were unconscious before arriving on Gellix."

Shepard tilted her head back to look at Garrus, and he nodded. Turning her attention back to Thane, she smiled, her heart warmed by the idea of the two men she loved staying by her side, watching her six while she fought a battle they didn't have a clue about. "And what about  _while_  we were on Gellix?"

" _I knew about it, and I was there with you. I had your six, remember? John and I had your six,"_ Jane said, her voice sedate, almost tranquil for the moment.

"I remember," Shepard thought. "And when I tell them about what happened, I'll tell them how you helped me."

Thane chuckled and turned his gaze to the floor. "I will sleep soon, siha. You have my word." Lifting his head, he looked at her again and took a couple of steps closer. He reached out, brushing the back of his fingers along her jaw before hooking them under her chin and leaning in to kiss her. "I'd like to hear word of the situation on Earth before I lay down."

She raised an eyebrow, challenging the omission in his statement. "And you want to be there when I hear how bad things are on Earth, just in case I go down again."

"Perhaps." He smiled and kissed her again.

The elevator door opened, and the three of them made their way into her cabin. She went straight to her desk and activated the display case screen.

"I already have Councilor Anderson on the line," EDI said.

"Patch him through." Shepard ran a hand over the front of her hair, wishing she'd taken the time to at least glance in the mirror first.

"Right away, and welcome back, Shepard."

She glanced over her shoulder at the blue hologram and smiled. "Thanks, EDI."

"You're welcome. Patching the councilor through." EDI's blue hologram collapsed, and Shepard turned her attention back to the screen.

A moment later, Anderson appeared and relief swept over his face, leaving his shoulders sagging. "Shepard. Thank God. I thought we lost you again."

Jane hummed. " _He looks tired, maybe a little thinner, too."_

"Sorry, Anderson." Shepard braced her hands on the back of her chair and leaned toward the screen. "I'm sure I scared the hell out of you … and left you with a mess to explain to the Council."

Scoffing, he shook his head. "Ain't that the damn truth, but don't worry about the Council, Shepard. Are you alright?"

"I'm still in the game." She shrugged, not really wanting to get into the details of the hell the last few days brought. "What about Earth? Admiral Hackett?"

Anderson sucked in a deep breath and rubbed his forehead, pinching the skin between his fingers before massaging it back out. "Hackett and the entire crew of the Buenos Aires are gone, the collectors took them. Three other ships in the fifth fleet were cleared out … others were just taken down." He folded his hands together on the desk in front of him. "They didn't bother breaching any of the allied ships, but they suffered losses, too. Turian, asari, salarian all had ships destroyed, cut to pieces just like the old Normandy. Together we took down two of their cruisers and chased the others off, but not before a few places on Earth were hit. The numbers are still coming in, but it looks like the collectors made off with at least three million humans."

" _Three million."_ Jane sounded as stunned as Shepard felt.

"Damn it." Words coming out barely above a whisper, she leaned over, bracing her elbows on the back of her chair and scrubbed her hands over her face. Her chest ached with the news. Three million. How the hell was she going to rescue three million? Was there even still time to rescue them?

"Spirits." Garrus' hand settled down between her shoulder blades.

"It could've been far worse if Shepard hadn't given Hackett the heads up and gotten Primarch Fedorian involved." Anderson met her gaze with a stern glare when she looked back up, and he shook his head. "I know it doesn't make the loss of three million any better, Shepard, but you saved billions more. The upside of this—if something like this can be said to  _have_ an upside—is now the Council is invested in defeating the collectors. They're preparing to send ships through the Omega 4 Relay. The Alliance, too."

"What? No!" She bolted upright fast enough to startle Garrus, his bare talons digging into her back a little before he pulled his hand away. "They can't, those ships don't have IFFs, they'll be destroyed the second they come out on the other side."

Brow furrowing, Anderson tilted his head. "EDI didn't tell you?"

Her gaze flicked toward the AI's access node before settling back on Anderson. "Didn't tell me what?"

"She replicated the reaper IFF code." He spread his hands apart. "We received it this morning. We've just been waiting for you to wake up, the Council wants your guarantee this will work before they allow it to be installed on any of their ships. The Alliance ships have already started integrating it into their systems."

" _Smart thinking, EDI,"_ Jane said. " _Though, she's been making more and more judgement calls lately. It might be something we should be concerned about. It's fantastic she has free will and wants to help, but there is still a chain of command here."_

Shepard spared about half a second to consider what Jane said before brushing it aside, Anderson's statement taking precedence in the moment. "My guarantee?" She lifted an eyebrow. "Since when does the Council give two shits about what I have to say?"

"You've caused a bigger stir than what you realize, Shepard," he said, his lips lifting in a tired smile. "We've got calls coming in from the krogan and STG, Former Councilor Sparatus and Primarch Fedorian, the quarian Admiralty Board, The Shadow Broker's agents. Even C-Sec. The asari you have onboard, the justicar? She called and spoke with Tevos at length." Anderson chuckled and shook his head. "I've never seen Tevos look so chastened. And those are just the people with influence." He turned, pushing himself from his chair and tucked his hands behind his back to pace a few steps. "I think they've finally realized they're fighting a losing battle trying to corral you, and if they want to keep control of things, they're going to need you working with them, not against them."

Garrus took a step closer to the screen, mandibles fluttering, hope sparking in his eyes. "So, they're dropping the charges against Shepard?"

" _Doubtful."_

Anderson sighed and shook his head. "No … they haven't given up on that just yet, but I think it's safe to say they're suspending their interest in bringing you in until things settle down."

She scoffed, leaning her weight back on one hip and crossed her arms over her chest. "They're more stupid than I thought if they actually think things are going to settle down."

"I know it, Shepard. You know it." He waved a hand in the air and shrugged. "But right now, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth." Pacing again, he glanced out over the balcony behind his desk.

She shook her head. "Even with the IFFs, you've seen what a collector cruiser can do to our ships, Anderson. We'd be sending them in to be slaughtered. The Normandy's advanced stealth systems along with the upgrades to the shields, armor, and weaponry systems are the only things allowing us to make it to the base, once we're through the relay, without the ship getting ripped apart and killing half the crew. If we have any hope of getting any of the people the collectors abducted back out of that base, we don't have time for the Council or Alliance to upgrade their fleets."

"What are you suggesting, Shepard?" He stopped pacing to look at her, eyebrows raised. "The Council is finally offering to help, and you want to leave them behind? Even if you can take down the base on your own, the Normandy can't transport so many people if you  _are_  able to save them."

" _He's right. We can't do this alone. Not this time."_

She grabbed the back of her chair and hung her head. "I don't know."

"You don't have to do this alone," Anderson said, eerily in sync with Jane's thoughts. "They understand the risks. This is war, Shepard. There will be losses."

"Don't you think I know that?" She looked up, meeting his gaze. "Hell, I know better than any of you, and that's the point. The more we lose now fighting the collectors, the fewer there will be to fight later when the reapers hit, and we're going to need the numbers."

He held her gaze for a moment, watching her in silence. When he finally spoke, his voice came out soft, pleading but sympathetic. "More than three million people, Commander. We have to try."

She let out a heavy sigh, shoulders dropping in defeat. "Yeah. What do you need me to do?"

"Just talk to the Council." He made his way back to his desk, resting his hands on the back of his chair. "Confirm for them that you have reason to believe the collectors are using these reaper devised IFFs to pass safely through the Omega 4 Relay, and it's this same technology you plan to use to get the Normandy through."

"Alright." She nodded, pushing away from the chair and squaring her shoulders. "Call them in."

Anderson leaned over his desk and activated his intercom. "Rebecca, get the rest of the Council on the line and tell them I need them in my office. I have Shepard ready to talk to them."

"I believe Councilor Tevos is in a meeting at the moment."

Frowning, he shook his head. "I don't care, this is more important."

"I'll call them now."

"Thank you, Rebecca." He let go of the intercom button and met Shepard's gaze again, determination and confidence in his eyes.

She sure as hell hoped he was right.

Garrus and Thane moved off toward Spike's tank, whispering quietly among themselves while she waited for the other councilors to begin filing into Anderson's office. She couldn't make out everything Thane and Garrus said, but then again she wasn't exactly trying to listen in, either. Every now and again she heard her name come up, though, and she supposed it told her all she really needed to know.

" _That's what happens when something's wrong with someone; when they've got some kind of incurable disease,"_ Jane said, and Shepard felt her strain to listen. " _People start talking about you all the time. Whispering, watching you out of the corner of their eyes. Like being sick takes away your ability to understand what's going on around you, and let's face it, when it comes down to it, that's how they all see us."_

"Shepard, I'm glad to see you pulled through." Quentius' voice pulled Shepard's attention back to the screen. "You gave us all quite the scare."

She eyed him for a few seconds, trying to determine whether or not he genuinely cared. In the end, it didn't really matter whether the Council felt concerned for her or just trying to play nice to keep the peace. She couldn't say she'd lose any sleep over a single one of them besides Anderson.

"Sorry you had to see that, Councilor. I assure you, I'm doing much better now." She forced a smile on her face, gaze drifting between the councilors all gathered around Anderson's desk. "Anderson's informed me the Council is prepared to send ships through the Omega 4 Relay in an attempt to reclaim the abducted humans."

"Of course, Commander." Tevos lifted her chin as she spoke, as if the mere implication the Council might do anything different given the circumstances was the most insulting thing she'd ever heard in her long, long life. "We have always told you that we wished there was more we could do to help, but with the attacks being confined to the Terminus Systems, our hands were tied."

Jane laughed, humorless and scathing.

"That changed when the collectors crossed into Alliance Space." Quentius fluttered his mandibles, shifting his weight a little and tucking his hands behind his back. "The humans are our allies, and you've suffered a devastating blow. If there's anything we can do to assist, we are not only obligated, but happy to do whatever we can."

" _You've_ got  _to be kidding me."_

Shepard's upper lip twitched, ready to give them a derisive snort, but Anderson flashed her a warning glare. Clenching her jaw instead, she forced a smile on her face—after all, Quentius came late to the game, he didn't know the rules yet, and he'd been decent enough to her so far. Tevos on the other hand knew exactly how full of shit she sounded. She thought about pointing out that either they knew the collectors moved into the Attican Traverse a while back, or they were seriously under-qualified to be leading the Council responsible for protecting people, but something told her it wouldn't make a bit of a difference in her favor for the outcome of the conversation.

"I'm glad to hear it, Councilor." She directed her comments at Quentius, choosing to ignore Tevos for as long as she could. "So, what is it exactly the Council needs from me? Anderson said you've been given the reaper IFF code."

Valern stuffed his hands inside of his over-sized sleeves. "We need more information about this code. Where did it come from? How can you be sure it's safe?"

Shepard turned her head to the side a little, her chin jutting out in disbelief. "Well," she said, letting the word drag, "it came from a derelict reaper. You know, one of those things you guys keep telling everyone in the galaxy don't really exist?"

"Shepard." The name rolled from Anderson, more like a grumble or a low growl than actual speech.

She sucked in a deep breath. "Sorry, Councilor. We took the code from a derelict reaper found in the Thorne System of the Hawking Eta Cluster. Cerberus located the reaper, which was all but completely disabled and in orbit around a brown dwarf, and sent a team to investigate and gather data. The team became indoctrinated after spending some time aboard the reaper, and they were all either slaughtered or turned into husks by reaper troops from within." Fighting back the urge to stretch out the few remaining tense spots in her neck and shoulders, Shepard shifted her weight to one hip and crossed her arms over her chest. "When we learned—after investigating a false turian distress signal which lead to a trap the collectors set—they used a reaper IFF to pass back and forth through the Omega 4 Relay unharmed, the Illusive Man sent the Normandy to recover the IFF from the derelict reaper."

"There's a derelict reaper in the Hawking Eta Cluster?" Quentius turned his head to look at Tevos. "Why didn't we know about this? We should send someone to study it immediately."

"If what the commander says is true, anyone we send would become indoctrinated." Tevos clasped her hands in front of her.

" _What do you know, she has a brain afterall."_

"Unless we devise shielding capable of protecting them." Valern hummed.

"It's irrelevant." Shepard shifted her weight to the other hip. "The reaper was consumed by the brown dwarf. We had to take out its core in order to escape the reaper, but destroying the core removed the mass effect field keeping it in orbit."

"Let me see if I understand this correctly: you found an intact reaper—something able to help us prepare for the enemy you've spent your entire career as a Spectre warning us about—and you destroyed it?" Tevos' brow inched up her face, and she shook her head. "I don't know what to say, Commander."

Caution seeped through the connection to Jane. " _Careful, Dawn, they'll end up charging you with something for that, too. Claim you sabotaged the war efforts."_

Shepard sucked in a deep breath and let it out slow, fighting with everything she had not to tell the asari councilor to go fuck herself. "It was the only way off the reaper and to get the IFF we need." She considered, for just a moment, telling the Council that she didn't even lead the mission just to shut them up, but she brushed the thought aside. No way in hell would she put James in their crosshairs—besides, he only followed her orders.

" _Not that he wouldn't be more than willing to take the bullet for you if it'd help,"_ Jane said, obviously knowing it wasn't something either of them would ever do to someone under their command.

"I agree, it's unfortunate we lost the reaper, but standing around arguing about whether or not Shepard did what had to be done will get us nowhere." Anderson squared his shoulders, lifting his chin a little higher.

"Anderson's right." Quentius flared his mandibles and dipped his head. "We need to determine if we're going to use this code or take our chances passing through the relay without the IFF."

"With all due respect, sir, going through the relay without an IFF would likely mean certain death." Shepard shook her head. "As I'm sure you well know, no ship besides collector vessels have passed through the Omega 4 Relay and come back out again."

"What assurances can you give us that this code is safe, Shepard?" Valern asked, his big, dark eyes moving back and forth as he studied her.

"Our specialists have scrubbed the code, and we've had it installed aboard the Normandy for a few days now. At the very least, nothing's come after the Normandy, and the ship is operating as it should." Shepard leaned forward, resting her hands on the back of her chair again. "We have limited intel on the collector base itself—gathered from the collector ship we boarded—but I can't tell you what exactly awaits us on the other side of the relay. All I can say is, with the IFF at least there's hope we'll be able to survive the trip. Without it …." She shrugged. "And that's just speaking about dealing with the relay itself. So far, we've only seen the collectors use their swarms to paralyze humans … but it doesn't necessarily mean they  _can't_  use them against other species."

Tevos glanced between the other councilors before looking at Shepard again. "Commander Shepard, it almost sounds as if you're trying to talk us out of helping our allies."

"No." She shook her head, exaggerating the motion and slicing her hand through the air. "Not at all. I just want to make sure you know what you're heading into, Councilor, because I'm not going to be blamed if things don't go the way you expect them to. You send people into that relay, there's a good chance they won't come back out again." She looked around, meeting the gaze of each of the councilors.

Jane snorted. " _Please, you know they'll blame us either way."_

"We're prepared for that possibility, Shepard." Quentius nodded. "The turians fully understand the risks involved, and the Alliance has our support."

Valern blinked, dipping his head. "As are the salarians."

"We are all prepared," Tevos said, looking between the other councilors. "We will notify our ship captains to install the IFF code." The asari hesitated, her lips parted. "We understand you have a working relationship of sorts with Aria T'Loak."

Jane chuckled, the sound heavy with her sarcasm. " _If by 'working relationship' you mean blood shed and violence every time we meet, then yeah, we've got a 'working relationship' with Aria."_

Shepard lifted an eyebrow. "Something like that."

"It would …" Tevos paused, as if looking for the right words. "... benefit us all if you could make arrangements with Aria prior to our ships showing up en masse in the Sahrabarik System."

" _Oh, this is rich."_ Jane arched a non-existent eyebrow. " _Tevos is scared of Aria, and even though she wants to haul us in for treason, she's asking us to deal with the big, bad, scary asari for her."_

Shepard pursed her lips. "You want me to ask Aria for permission so you don't have to do it yourself?"

Tevos gave her a condescending smile. "I don't think 'permission' is the—"

"Yes it is." Shepard cut Tevos off, leaning back and shaking her head. "Don't worry about Aria. I'll speak with her." She smirked. "I'm sure some 'arrangement' can be made."

Tevos' smile faltered before leveling back out; the barely concealed rage of offense in her gaze burning tiny holes through Shepard. "Of course, thank you."

"One more thing, I assume you all understand I will be leading this mission. I also assume you've at least considered ordering your people to take me into custody, but I promise you," Shepard said, holding Tevos' gaze even though she spoke to all of them, "there is no way you will bring me in alive while the collector base still stands. And you can be sure, I won't hesitate to take down anyone who tries to stand in my way. This is bigger than your politics and any charges you're bringing against me."

" _I'm glad to hear you say so."_ Jane hummed. " _I knew you wouldn't turn yourself in before this is done, but I admit I wasn't so sure if you'd resist arrest if someone came for us before then. Of course it'll mean we'll be in even more trouble."_

"I know," Shepard thought, "but right now every human alive is depending on me to destroy the collectors. I'll do what I have to do."

Tevos blinked, something shifting in her eyes, and for the first time, Shepard thought the asari realized just how foolish she was to get on Shepard's bad side. "And once the collector base is destroyed?"

Shepard shrugged. "I won't fight them, but I won't wait around for them to take me in either. I have other things to take care of, Councilor. I'm doing everything I can to prepare the galaxy for the arrival of the reapers while the Council dithers back and forth on whether you actually even want to consider the reapers a viable threat." She took a deep breath. "I don't know what else I can do to convince you that they're coming, but they  _are_  coming."

"The evidence you provided us from the Bahak System is sufficient to convince us of the reapers arrival, Shepard," Tevos said, pulling her shoulders back as if she thought she might still convince Shepard that she held all the power in the conversation, "but it doesn't change the fact you broke first contact protocol and potentially endangered everyone in the galaxy further through your actions with this 'aggressively neutral' species."

" _Bullshit."_

"No one ever trained me in the Council's first contact protocol and you damn well know it! You made me Spectre, and I hit the ground running, chasing down Saren." Shepard threw a hand up at the absurdity of the accusation. "I encountered an alien species, learned they were responsible for creating the reapers, and I tried to convince them to help us stop the harvest. What did you really expect me to do? Don't you think if I'd never found them, they'd still just be sitting back waiting for this cycle to be over? What  _harm_  do you really think I did?"

Tevos' mouth pressed into a thin, tight line.

Valern cleared his throat. "We are not hear to discuss your ignorance nor your crimes, Commander. We have procedures in place—you will stand trial, your guilt and punishment determined according to our laws."

"For now," Quentius said, holding out a placating hand, "for the sake of those taken by the collectors, and considering your experience dealing with them to date, we will suspend your arrest until after the collectors are dealt with and allow you to lead this mission. We'll leave you and Anderson to figure out the details."

Tevos, Valern, and Quentius turned, almost perfectly in sync, and made their way to the door. Anderson watched them go, and as soon as the door closed behind them, he let out a heavy breath. His shoulders sagged when he turned back to her, looking twenty years older. Pulling out his desk chair, he sat down. Thane and Garrus moved back over, standing to either side of Shepard.

Anderson met her gaze, folding his hands on his desk. "I really wish you wouldn't press your luck with them, Shepard. They've yet to send anyone out after you, but if you keep antagonizing them, they will."

She offered him a noncommittal grunt. "Sorry, Anderson."

He snorted. "No you're not." Rubbing his hands over his face, he let out another sigh. "So, how do you want to do this?"

"I'll head to Omega. It's best I talk to Aria in person." Frowning, she raked a hand through her hair. "She's going to want something out of this, though, and she's smart enough to know she'll get more by putting pressure on the Alliance than the Council."

" _Knowing her, she'll want the Alliance to look the other way so Omega can expand their illegal trade activities into Alliance space."_ Jane cringed. " _Or maybe she'll ask for someone to be killed, or a dangerous criminal to be released."_

Shepard sighed. "Jane's right, anything Aria asks for isn't going to be something you're going to want to give her."

"See if you can talk her down to something reasonable, and then call me with her demands. I'll figure out a way to make it happen. In the meantime, I'll get in contact with the fleets and get them coordinated. That many ships going through the relays at once will require some work."

"Definitely." She nodded, reaching for the button to cut the call and deactivate the screen. "I'll call you as soon as I have something."

"Not so fast, Commander."

"Sir?" She glanced back at the screen, meeting his gaze.

Anderson lifted an eyebrow at her and leaned closer. "I'd like to know what the hell happened the last time we talked."

Her shoulders dropped. "I'm tired, Anderson. I just want to take a shower, eat something, and relax for a few minutes. I'm sorry, I'll ask Dr. Chakwas to fill you in."

He frowned but nodded. "Alright, Shepard … just please take care of yourself."

"I'm trying, I promise." She disconnected the call and then turned, leaning her backside against her desk. "EDI, set coordinates for Omega."

"Right away, Shepard."

Thane stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her waist, and she slid her hands over his shoulders, lacing her fingers behind his neck. Leaning in, he kissed her before resting his head against hers. "Wake me when you're ready to go speak with Aria?"

"Sure." She brushed her thumbs over the back of his head. "I'll come wake you up myself."

He smiled and kissed her again. "I look forward to it, siha." Letting his hands slide away from her waist, he stepped out of her embrace. He dipped his head at Garrus before making his way to the door.

Garrus moved over, taking Thane's place in front of her. "Hmm. Shower first or eat first?" he asked, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Eat." She opened her desk drawer and pulled out a packet of dry rations, tearing it open with her teeth before collapsing in her chair.

Garrus leaned against the corner of her desk and watched her eat. "You don't want something more appetizing?"

"Maybe later. Right now I'm just interested in tiding myself over." She trailed her gaze over him as she chewed a handful of the dried apricots and cherries. "How're you feeling? You're looking better."

"I, uh, I feel a lot better." He scratched at a dark patch of healing hide just under his mandible. "It's nice not having to spend all of my time in the med bay. Dr. Chakwas said my heart has stabilized, the arrhythmia is gone. The neurological damage has repaired itself enough for her and Mordin to think it's safe to use stem-cell therapy to speed up the process." Watching her for a moment, his mandibles fluttered, and Shepard knew he was working up to something she wasn't going to like. "Dr. Chakwas doesn't want me going into the collector base with you … but Shepard, I swear, I'm up for it and I don't think she'll press the issue if you say you want me there."

She shook her head. "No. Garrus I can't risk you. I just can't. If Dr. Chakwas doesn't think you're ready, then you're staying on this ship."

" _I hate to say it, but you're right. He's not up for this run, he'd be a liability at best, at worst …."_ Jane trailed off, her voice softening at the end, various images of Garrus dying on the collector base seeping through to Shepard before Jane slammed the door down on them.

His mandibles drooped. "Shepard—"

"Don't, Garrus, please." Closing her eyes, Shepard took a shaky breath. "You know I want you there, I want you at my six, but I  _need_  you there when the reapers hit." She swallowed, tears welling up behind her eyelids. "You can die on this mission. We've seen it happen before." Sniffling, she tossed the half-eaten ration to her desk and swiped her hand over her cheeks, wiping away the wet streaks and looked at him. "I've already done everything I can to make sure this run goes smoothly, but gods, so much has changed." She trembled from just the mere thought of losing Garrus, she couldn't imagine anyway where she'd survive it if she actually did lose him. "I can't guarantee anything anymore, and I can't have you there while you're still recovering. I can't risk it. I won't."

Taking her hands in his, he tugged her to her feet and pulled her into his arms. "It's alright, I'll stay on the Normandy. I'll be safe, I promise. You'll have the others with you, and the Council is sending in ships, too." Rubbing her back, he hummed, a soothing sound reaching down into her soul to ease the ache. "Come on, let's get you in the shower."

She nodded, letting him lead her into the bathroom. She began taking off her clothes while he started the shower, sore muscles protesting the action of lifting her shirt up over her head, but still the pain seemed far less than when she first woke up on Gellix. Sitting down on the toilet, she pulled her boots and socks off, tossing them toward the door.

Garrus turned to her when she stood back up, and he swiped a tear from her face. "Want me to get in with you?"

"Yes," she said, nodding again.

Taking a couple of steps back, he started strippig off his own clothes. She wiped her eyes again, watching him. It'd been so long since they'd been alone together in something even remotely considered an intimate setting; she saw the full extent of his Lichtenberg scarring for the first time. The burns were healing, no longer a deep, nearly black shade of blue, but definitely permanent marks on his hide that would never fade completely.

" _I hate seeing him like this."_

"You and me both," Shepard thought.

She stepped out of her pants and kicked them aside before shimmying her panties down her hips. He hummed, a familiar, throaty sound of arousal, and she looked up to find him watching her waist as she moved. Clearing his throat, he looked away, mandibles fluttering as he turned to the shower stall, but not before she saw the hint of blue peeking out between the plates of his groin. Gods she missed him. Concentrating on getting her arms up high enough to unhook her bra, she bit back a groan of complaint.

Garrus stepped into the shower, turning back around to hold his hand out to her. Dropping her bra on the floor, she crossed the floor, taking his hand and letting him guide her under the steaming spray. The water hit the tender skin around her still healing incision, and she bit back a hiss, pulling her head away from the heat. She tugged him closer and stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest, letting the hot water on her back and the feel of him in her arms wash away the last of her tension.

"I love you." She tightened her grip on him.

He hummed, nuzzling the top of her head. "I love you, too." Running his fingers along her spine, he sent shivers through her, despite the hot water coursing over her skin.

A small moan escaped her lips, and she pushed into him a little closer, rubbing her face against his chest. She missed his touch so much, the feel of bare hide and plates against her skin set her nerves on end. He hummed, pressing his palm flat against the small of her back and pulled her a little closer still, his hips brushing against her stomach.

After a moment, he grabbed her hips and gently pushed her away, turning her around. "Let me look at your head."

She brought her hands up, already finding the movement much easier than before she got under the hot water, and parted her hair, letting him see the swath of Medi-gel covering her sutures. "How bad is it?"

"Actually, it doesn't look so bad at all. Definitely not as bad as when Jane cut into you, or even when Mordin removed the control chips." A gentle talon pushed more of her hair out of the way before he let it drop. "Did Miranda say they're working the way they're supposed to?"

She turned back around to face him, rubbing her palms over his chest. "So far, yeah."

"And Jane's alright?" he asked, mandible flaring wide.

" _I'm not happy about it, but I'm fine."_

Shepard shrugged a little. "She says she's not happy about it, but she's fine."

"Hmmm." He fluttered his mandibles, but for the first time in a long time, he didn't seem bothered by the idea of Jane being there, an invisible presence between the two of them. "How are you feeling?"

"Not horrible." Feather light, she traced the pattern of the scars over the hide of his stomach. "I woke up with a lot of sore muscles, but they're easing up as I use them, and the hot water's helping. Miranda and Mordin said it was expected."

" _The scars actually look kind of cool."_

Shepard snorted. "Jane says your scars look kind of cool."

He chuckled, drawing her attention back up to his face. "Definitely. They almost make it worth nearly dying."

Shepard arched an eyebrow at him, not really finding the humor in the statement despite Jane's chuckle.

He flicked his mandibles, giving her a roguish grin. "I said 'almost.'" Humming, he picked up her body wash. "I tell you what, I'll let you deal with your hair, but I've got the rest of you."

She smirked, knowing an evasive maneuver when she saw one, but let it slide and picked up her shampoo. "Deal."

Garrus squirted the body wash right into his hands and rubbed them together a little before crouching. Starting in on her right leg, he squeezed and kneaded the muscles of her calf as he spread the soap around, working his way up to her thigh. His hands worked magic—and on more than just her sore muscles, sending delightful shocks of heat and need straight to her nether regions.

Jane groaned, giving Shepard the impression of rolling her eyes, and she retreated to wherever she went when she wanted to give Shepard privacy.

Emptying a little shampoo out into her hand, Shepard smiled down at him, watching his mandibles flutter as he took in her scent. She put the bottle back and worked the shampoo into her hair, fingers avoiding the tender areas. Garrus moved on to her other leg, massaging as he washed, and she rinsed her hair. She reached past him and grabbed her conditioner, squeezing some into her palm before putting it back. He pushed back up to his feet, picking up the body wash again. Closing her eyes, she smoothed the conditioner over her hair and sighed when his hands settled down over her hips. Rinsing her hair again, a whimper caught in her throat when his hand slid down between her legs, fingers barely brushing over the sensitive area before moving on, testing her response as much as cleaning her, she thought.

Opening her eyes, she reached out, trailing her fingers over his arms as she moved them up to his shoulders. He met her gaze, fire burning in his eyes, and leaned in to kiss her, tongue skirting over her lips. She opened her mouth, meeting his tongue with hers and pushed herself flush against him, feeling him hard and exposed against her stomach. He reached behind her, cupping her ass, rubbing the slick soap into her skin before moving up her back.

He pulled back, running his hands over her stomach and up to her breasts, brushing his thumbs over her nipples. Mandibles fluttering, he met her gaze. "Do you … hmm, are you feeling well enough to—"

"Gods yes. Are you?"

Smirking, he flicked a mandible at her. "I think I can manage."

Trapping the corner of her lip between her teeth, she raised an eyebrow. "Bed?"

"Bed."


	58. Chapter 57: Afraid to Ask

**Chapter 57: Afraid to Ask**

Shepard had tried to sleep, but despite feeling tired, sleep just wouldn't come. She supposed her body decided it had enough, spending three days knocked out under heavy sedation. Still, it felt nice to lay there in Garrus' arms, listening to his light snore. Two hours in, though, she had to move, needed to get up and do something because the echo of Anderson's voice and 'three million' refused to leave her head in the near silence, and Jane seemed content to let her stew in her thoughts. She suspected Jane was busy stewing in her own thoughts and just doing her best to keep from dumping even more anxiety in Shepard's lap.

Untangling herself from Garrus' arms, she pressed a kiss to his mandible and shushed him when he stirred. She slid from the bed and padded across her cabin on bare feet, making her way to the bathroom. Sitting down on the toilet, she propped her elbows on her knees and pressed her face into her hands. So much was going wrong with the mission, she felt doubt creeping in along the edges of her consciousness, roots digging in deep along her spine. They didn't even take out the Illusive Man first as planned, and now, he'd have to wait until after they hit the collector base. With a little luck, with everything else going ass up with the mission, maybe he wouldn't think she'd still be interested in coming after him.

Finishing up, she wiped herself and stood, flushing the toilet. She washed her hands and then picked up her brush, carefully running it through her hair before pulling it back in a low ponytail. Making her way out of the bathroom, she went to her closet and took out clean clothes before tossing them on the couch. She stood in the middle of the floor and let her gaze drift around the cabin, looking at nothing in particular until her gaze settled on the framed pictures of the people she'd lost already in the war. She crossed the floor to pick up a picture of Kaidan, and she felt Jane stir in the back of her head.

" _Do you ever wonder what their lives would be like if they never met us?"_ There was something wistful in Jane's tone, something weary and edged with grief. " _Kaidan, Ashley, Liara, Dr. Tulina … wonder what they'd be doing right now if they never came aboard the Normandy?"_

"Well, Kaidan was on the Normandy before us … and Ashley still would've lost her unit on Eden Prime, so she still would've been there when Anderson showed up to secure the beacon," Shepard thought.

" _Don't be so literal, you know what I mean,"_ Jane said, giving Shepard the impression of an eyeroll.

"Yeah," she thought, putting the picture back down and picking up the one of Ashley instead. "I don't know, I guess Kaidan and Ash would be stationed somewhere else. They'd still be soldiers, so they'd still be dragged in to fight the war. Liara might've been taken by Saren's men on Therum … or maybe she'd be on some other prothean dig site, looking for her next big discovery and trying to understand who the protheans were. I suppose Dr. Tulina would be working at a clinic somewhere, trying to help people deal with their mental traumas."

She sat the picture of Ashley back down and picke up the picture of Jack, smiling as she squatted down next to the bomb they set off on Pragia. Smiling, she thought, "Jack would still be in stasis on Purgatory, or maybe sold off to someone who wanted to use her to rob banks or something." She put down the picture of Jack, and picked up the one of Tali and Kal, maskless on Rannoch. "These two may or may not be together, but they definitely wouldn't have had this moment together on their homeworld."

Jane hummed. " _I suppose you're right."_

Shepard sat the picture back down and returned to the couch to get dressed. She glanced over her shoulder at Garrus as she stepped into her panties and thought, "He'd probably still be stuck at C-Sec, slowly becoming more and more disgruntled with the way things worked until he towed the line just a little too far and got fired or worse." Pulling on her bra, she smiled, finding it didn't hurt at all to reach behind her and hook the small clasps. "Thane might've died going after Nassana, and Kolyat would be in prison for murder."

Jane seemed to ponder this for a moment, her unarticulated thoughts rolling around like a fog in Shepard's head. " _You think Kolyat would've gotten caught?"_

"Probably. Hell, maybe Garrus would've been the one to catch him … if he didn't get killed outright by Talid's bodyguard," Shepard thought, easing her shirt down over her head. "If we didn't call out to Kolyat when we did, the krogan might've realized Kolyat was coming on his own and shot him first."

She put on the rest of her clothes before peeking her head into the bathroom again, making sure she didn't muss her hair by putting on her shirt. After glancing down the stairs at Garrus' sleeping form one last time, she turned and left the cabin. Taking the elevator down to the third deck, she felt the tension in the atmosphere as soon as the doors slid open. Cerberus crewmen milled about, coming and going from the mess and crew quarters, whispering quietly amongst themselves. They smiled, nodding their heads or saluting when they saw her, but then hurried their steps.

Shepard made her way to the mess hall, and even Gardner seemed distracted and worried. Still, he offered her a warm smile and dished her up a bowl of his asari gumbo before pouring her a cup of coffee and sitting it on the tray. She carried it to a mostly empty table and ate in silence, watching the people around her until Jacob slid into the seat across from her.

"Hey, Commander." He looked around, taking his time scanning the crowd. "Things seem pretty tense, don't they?"

"They know we're hitting the finish line." She scraped the last of her gumbo on her spoon, holding it in front of her as she added, "There's a lot riding on this, especially now Earth's been hit."

Jacob looked down at the table in front of him, a frown creasing his brow. "Yeah. How bad is it, do you know?"

Shepard glanced around her and took a drink of her cooling coffee, a little surprised the operative hadn't already hit the extranet to find answers. "Last report puts it at about three million humans taken."

"Damn." He shook his head, paused, and then shook it again. "Damn."

"Yeah." She put down her coffee cup. "Listen," she said, standing and picking up her tray, "I need to go see Dr. Chakwas. I'll call a meeting after I talk to Aria and fill everyone in on the plan, figure out some of the last minute details."

Jacob stood and saluted. "Ma'am."

She nodded at him and then carried her tray back to Gardner, content to let him take the tray without comment. Turning on her heel, she fought to push away the pit of writhing snakes in her stomach and marched on to the med bay. Dr. Chakwas looked up when the door opened and smiled, pushing away from her desk and opening her omni-tool.

"How are you feeling, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas started scanning Shepard as soon as she slipped up on one of the beds.

"Not bad. Head's a little tender, but I'll be alright." Shepard glanced over her shoulder, seeing the bed Kasumi had been occupying since the attack on the Normandy abandoned. She smiled, glad to see the thief decided to return to the hangar after all. "Kasumi doing OK?"

"Kasumi will be fine, physically. I'm a little concerned about her mental state, but I think James will be able to help her through. It's good she's returned to the hangar, I think she's been afraid to go back down there." Dr. Chakwas closed her omni-tool and grabbed gloves out of the nearby dispenser, slipping them on her hands. She parted Shepard's hair and gently prodded the area of the incision. "Your scans look good. The activity levels are still a little high for being inactive, but I suppose with everything going on, it's understandable."

"Full disclosure," Shepard said, lifting her chin away from her chest just enough so her words wouldn't be muffled, "I had some of Gardner's deplorable coffee a few minutes ago, too."

Dr. Chakwas chuckled, letting Shepard's hair fall back into place and patted her shoulder. "I didn't think it was so bad."

"It's not Grundan Krul's." Shepard slid down off the bed when the doctor stepped away. "So, am I good to hit the base or are you going to argue against it until you're blue in the face?"

"Even if I believed you weren't fit for duty, I know there's no point in arguing against it." Dr. Chakwas scoffed. "Not on this one. Garrus on the other hand—"

"Don't worry, doc." Shepard held up a hand to save the doctor breath. "We already had this talk. He's staying on the Normandy."

"Good." Dr. Chakwas leaned her hip against the bed. "Jane, how are you doing?"

" _I've been better, but I've been a hell of a lot worse, too,"_ Jane said, and Shepard repeated, expecting to play mouthpiece for Jane for awhile.

Instead, Dr. Chakwas nodded and asked, "Shepard, have you given any consideration to what we spoke of? Giving Jane the opportunity to come out periodically? Miranda did as you asked and left a way for you to allow Jane to take control. She said the implant should also make it easier for you to regain control if necessary."

"Uh," Shepard said, scratching her temple, "I guess … if it's controllable … yeah. Yeah, I can do that. After this thing with the collectors is taken care of."

" _Yeah?"_ The utter shock in Jane's voice carried no subtlety.

"Yeah," Shepard thought, a smile tugging at her lips. "So long as John's around to provide me with a little back up in there."

" _He said, 'Anytime.'"_ Jane practically vibrated with excitement, a sensation making Shepard feel as if her brain itched.

EDI's hologram sprung to life in the corner of the room. "ETA to Omega, thirty minutes, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard turned her attention back to Dr. Chakwas. "We done here, doc?"

"Of course, Commander." Dr. Chakwas returned to her chair.

Shepard left the med bay and made her way to life support. The door slid open, the room dark save for the blue glow of the drive core coming through the observation window. She heard Thane shift on the cot before she'd taken two steps, which wasn't a surprise at all, he'd always been a light sleeper, snapping awake at the slightest change to whatever room he slept in.

"Siha?" He sounded half asleep, voice lacking the clarity of his usual alertness.

The sound of his voice stilled Jane, her excitement sloughing away to reveal concern for the drell. " _He doesn't sound good."_

"Mhmm." Answering both of them with the one sound, Shepard made her way to the cot, the darkness no more a hindrance for her in life support than in her cabin.

His hand wrapped around the back of her thighs, urging her closer. "Have we reached Omega?"

"We're a half hour away." She turned sitting on the edge of the cot next to him, and he moved his hand to her waist, arm stretching over her lap. Reaching out, she traced the edge of his jaw, face just barely visible in the blue glow. "But I think you should stay here and get some more sleep. I'm going to need you in a few hours when we go through the Omega 4 Relay, and you're exhausted. I can hear it in your voice."

He let her words linger in the air between them a moment before he finally responded, "I don't trust Aria with you, siha."

"I can handle Aria. I've been handling Aria for a thousand lifetimes, but either way, I'm not going in there alone." She leaned down, kissing him and holding his lip between hers for a couple of seconds. "Stay here, get some more sleep." She started to sit back up.

His arm snaked further around her, pulling her back to him, his lips finding hers again. "Lay down with me, for just a little while, and I will stay."

She smiled; how could she possibly say no? Pulling her legs up, she situated herself on the cot, snuggled in against him, head resting in the crook of his arm. "Sounds like a win-win, to me."

He chuckled, running his hand back and forth along her arm. The movement becoming slower within seconds, his breathing evening back out, but she heard the strain with each breath. He'd been pushing himself too hard for her sake. They both knew he had a terminal illness, as if either of them could forget for even a second, but they both also knew he was determined not to let it stand in his way. He wanted the last of his time alive to count, and she respected his wishes, but she didn't want to see his stubbornness speed the process along, either.

When the ship docked, Thane stirred again, his arm tightening around her. "Be careful, siha."

She sat up, pulling herself from his arms and leaned over to kiss him. "I will. Love you."

He brushed his knuckles over her cheek. "And I you."

A part of her just wanted to stay there, say fuck Aria, the Council, and the collectors, but she knew she couldn't do that, no matter how much she wanted to. She stepped away from the cot, smiling down at him again before making her way from life support. Stopping in front of the elevator, she took a deep breath. "EDI, tell Jacob and Zaeed to head to the airlock. I'll suit up and meet them there."

The elevator slid open while EDI gave her acknowledgement, and Shepard stepped inside, pressing the button for her cabin. When she arrived upstairs, she found Garrus sitting up on the edge of the bed, tugging on his pants.

He smiled at her. "There you are." Standing, he pulled his pants up around his waist and crossed the floor to take her in his arms. He tucked his face in against her neck, breathing her in, and hummed. "Is Thane going with you to see Aria?"

"No." She slid her arms around his cowl, pulling him in a little closer. "I made him go back to sleep. Jacob and Zaeed are going with me."

He hummed, rubbing his hand up and down her back before giving her a kiss. "Zaeed's a good choice for Omega." He stepped back, hands moving to her hips, and met her gaze. "Let me help you get your armor on."

She nodded, stepping away from him to open the cabinet where she stored her gear and began pulling it out. As they began snapping the pieces into place, she tried to imagine just how many times he'd been there, doing the exact thing for her in her current life and all the others. The only answer she could come up with was simply 'countless'. Holding her arms out to her sides for him to fit her breastplate in place, she sighed. "I don't like you not being able to come with me through the relay. It feels wrong. This whole damn thing feels wrong."

"Hmmm. You know I'm more than willing to come, but I have to wonder if the nerves are just because things aren't going the way you're used to them going." He glanced up from her breastplate. "The way Jane's used to them going."

"Maybe." She resumed her silence, watching him as he helped her finish her armor and check over her weapons. And maybe he was right, for all she really knew, everything would work out perfectly. They'd all get out of there alive, and the allied forces would help her save any humans the collectors hadn't yet liquified. Maybe.

" _Maybe,"_ Jane agreed, but she didn't sound any more convinced than Shepard felt.

Garrus handed her helmet over, and she tucked it under her arm. Leaning in, he kissed her before pressing his forehead to hers. He took a deep breath and flicked a mandible. "It'll all work out. It has to."

"Yeah." She rubbed her head against his. "I love you, Garrus Vakarian."

He grinned and then nipped at the side of her jaw, whispering in her ear, "I love you, Dawn Shepard."

She pulled away from him and let out another sigh, letting her gloved fingers run down his bare chest. "I'll see you in a bit. Hopefully Aria doesn't drag this out."

He fluttered his mandibles. "Tell Aria that Archangel says hello."

Shepard snorted, turning on her heel and making her way to the door. "I'll be sure to do that."

She took the elevator down to the CIC, catching sight of Zaeed and Jacob already waiting for her. Dipping her head at Kelly as she passed, she made her way to the airlock. She stopped in front of the two men and rolled her head. "Alright, let's go make nice with the queen of Omega."

The airlock slid open, and they left the Normandy, making their way towards the everpresent sound of thumping bass. The crowds waiting, lined up outside the door, desperately waiting for the chance to get inside Afterlife, grumbled when Shepard and her crew marched right on past them and headed for the stairs.

A man's voice broke through the din of the crowd as she passed. "Why do they get to go in while we're stuck out here?"

"That's Commander Shepard," another man said. "I heard she helped Aria defend Afterlife when the mercs hit the place."

"I don't give a shit who she is, bitch isn't better than us." The voice of the first man carried to her, filled with bitterness and bile. "She should have to wait in line, too."

Shepard stopped in her tracks and turned on her heel, scanning the crowd, trying to pick out the owners of the voices. Everywhere she looked, people either looked on cluelessly or shied away from her gaze. Finally, she spotted two human men who looked for all of the galaxy as if they were praying they could disappear completely. She took a step toward the men, and the crowd started to push back, putting distance between themselves and the men they probably thought she was about to slaughter. Fist flexing at her side, she continued closer, Zaeed and Jacob at her back.

" _You really think starting a fight with potential paying customers is going to win Aria over?"_ Jane asked, ironically playing the voice of reason in Shepard's suddenly red-haze filled mind.

She stopped a few feet away from the men—who apparently decided if they couldn't disappear, then they should try to look as tough as the could instead, standing with their arms crossed, feet shoulder width apart, sneers plastered on their faces. She nodded at the first one to fully meet her gaze; a man easily the size of James, with greasy, black hair hanging down over his eyes in limp tendrils. "What's your name?"

He scoffed, lifting his chin up to look down his crooked nose at her. "The fuck you want to know my name for?"

She didn't realize she intended to do it until the biotic energy had already left her, wrapping itself around the man and pulling him closer to her until he hovered a foot away from her. Guns whirred to life around her, blue sparks of biotics flared up in her peripheral, but she only pulled the man a little closer. Some distant part of her savored the look of terror in his eyes, not because he felt afraid of her, but because maybe, just maybe, the asshole had some semblance of intelligence in his thick skull and just might be able to understand the severity of what she was about to tell him.

Reaching through the dark energy with her free hand, she grabbed a fistfull of his shirt and yanked, pulling him down to eye level and put her face next to his. She kept her voice low, and as calm as she could, but still the words hissed out between clenched teeth. "Earth just got hit by the collectors. Earth. Millions were lost. Do you get it? You have family, friends, back on Earth? What about one of the colonies that were hit?"

The man nodded. "Ye—yeah, I have family on Earth and I have—had friends on Freedom's Progress."

"Then you  _do_  understand how serious this shit is. I get to go in while you stand out here because I have business with Aria, business which will help me get a rescue team in place so  _hopefully_  I might be able to save some of those poor souls who were taken. You get to stay out here and wait because you're a pathetic waste of space who only gives a damn about trying to convince some asari dancer to take pity on you and give you a quick fuck. Why don't you grow a fucking conscious, start thinking about something other than your dick, and go do something to help Earth?" She dropped her biotics and let the man crumple to the floor when the sudden return of gravity and his awkward position sent him scrambling to stay upright.

He stayed there on the filthy ground, legs and arms sprawled, not even trying to right himself as he stared up at her. She watched him for a moment, noting the whirlwind of emotions storming through his eyes. Taking a deep breath, she nodded when she finally saw him settle on determination. He pushed himself up to sitting and returned her nod, taking her hand when she held it out to him, letting her help pull him to his feet.

"Shepard?" A voice called from a few feet away, and she turned to find Bray watching her, his arms crossed. "Aria said if you kill him, she expects you to clean up the mess and pay for any damages to Afterlife property."

Shepard snorted, a one-sided smile lifting the corner of her mouth. "We were just having a talk. I think we're good now." She glanced back at the man whose hand she still held. "We good?"

He gave her a single, sharp nod. "Yeah, we're good."

"Good." She patted him on the shoulder with her free hand before letting him go.

Only then did she glance around at the rest of the scene laid out around her. Turians and batarians with assault rifles—Aria's men—held their guns at the ready, some leveled at the crowd, even more leveled at her. A handful of men and women in the crowd had drawn pistols or surrounded themselves with biotics, but they didn't have them aimed at anybody in particular, nobody moved. Zaeed and Jacob had their weapons drawn and leveled at the guards.

" _Well, that's not 'good.'"_ Sarcasm dripped from Jane's voice.

Shepard laughed and shook her head. "Relax, people. It was just a conversation." She held up her empty hands. "I didn't even draw a weapon." She knew it probably sounded more like a boast than a genuine attempt to smooth ruffled feathers, but she was alright with that.

Bray smiled, the first she'd seen from the batarian in  _her_  life. "Aria's waiting for you."

"Can't have that now, can we?" Shepard started walking, smirking as Aria's guards fell into place around her and her team, acting as a barrier between her and the crowd.

Bray walked alongside her. "Something big always seems to happen whenever you stop by."

She lifted one shoulder in a shrug, making her way up the steps. "Purely coincidence."

"Uh huh." He glanced over at her as the door slid open for them. "Try to keep the coincidences at a minimum."

Shepard snorted. "No promises."

They made their way through the club, trailed by Aria's men. Shepard noticed an increased fervor in the dancing bar patrons, triggering a memory of something Joker said to Jane and the others after the reaper invasion: "Can't you see the desperation? This isn't happy dancing, this is forget my problems dancing. Look at the arms. If a guy waves his arms like that, he's worrying about a lot more than looking stupid on the dance floor." Maybe, just maybe, the galaxy might have their collective heads out of their asses and ready for war this time around. At the back of the club, she stopped at the foot of the stairs and glanced at Bray. He nodded his head toward the top, so up she went.

Aria sat on her couch, as usual, arms stretched out over the back and legs crossed at the knee. "I've been expecting you."

"Have you?" Shepard cocked an eyebrow.

"Earth being hit by collector ships could only mean you'd show up on my doorstep sooner or later." Aria waved a hand, glancing around as if she were already bored. Her gaze settled on Shepard, and the corner of her mouth lifted, the devious spark flaring to life in her eyes. "What do you want, Shepard? More importantly, what are you willing to give me for it?"

" _I think I like her even less than ever."_ Jane narrowed her non-existent eyes at the asari. " _She was far easier to get along with with her requests were simple, like warn Patriarch and help her reclaim Omega."_

"Reclaiming Omega was simple?" Shepard thought, raising a mental eyebrow.

" _No, but at least it didn't get in the way of our mission,"_ Jane said, " _and we did save lives."_

Shepard didn't wait to be invited to sit before taking her usual spot on Aria's couch. Leaning forward, she propped her elbows on her knees and met the asari's gaze. "When I give them the go ahead, several fleets from the council races will be coming through the relay into Sahrabarik System. All I want from you, is you're word you'll give them safe passage through the system and into the Omega 4 Relay."

"You're actually doing it, going through the Omega 4 Relay?" Aria scoffed. "You're either exceptionally brave, or exceptionally stupid."

"I prefer exceptionally smart. I have a way through the relay, but I need your reassurances the ships won't be attacked in any way." Shepard sat back, folding her hands over her stomach. "And I've been asked by Councilor Tevos to negotiate this with you."

Aria all but rolled her eyes and glanced away, boredom apparently returning that easily. "If Tevos wants something from me, she should ask me herself."

Shepard shrugged. "Yeah, but let's face it, you scare the shit out of Tevos."

Aria laughed, returning her gaze to Shepard. She stared at Shepard a moment, eyes cold, appraising. "But not you, it seems."

"Not much scares me anymore." Shepard gave Aria a slow hake of her head. "I've seen what's coming … it makes everything and everyone else seem like a joyride."

Aria nodded a little, lifting her hands a couple of inches off of the couch. "The reapers, right, of course."

"Of course," Shepard said, keeping her tone as bland as the asari's. She'd already said her peace to Aria about the reapers, there wasn't any point in taking the bait.

Aria tapped her fingers on the back of the couch. "Tell Tevos I'll give your fleets safe passage, but the next time I call—and I  _will_  call—she'd damned well better answer."

" _That sounds ominous,"_ Jane said.

Shepard arched an eyebrow. "That's it?"

Aria smiled. "That's it."

"I'll let her know." Shepard pushed herself up from the couch.

"See that you do." Aria turned her attention to Bray. "Put the word out. Anyone fucks with Shepard's fleets, they answer to me. In person."

Shepard watched as Bray nodded and walked away, heading back down the stairs. Returning her gaze to Aria, she found the asari watching her. "Oh, Archangel said hello."

Aria smirked. "I'm sure. Tell him anytime he wants to come back to Omega to play the hero, I've got a few things he can take care of first." She folded her hands in her lap. "I wonder if you really know who it is you're sleeping with, Shepard?"

"It doesn't matter, the turian you knew is in the past." Shepard shook her head, dropping her weight to one hip and crossing her arms over her chest. "Who he was on Omega … whatever he did for you … that's not who he was before, and it's not who he is now."

"You sure about that?" Aria held her gaze, challenging Shepard, daring her to really look inside herself to find the answer to the question. "I don't think you are."

"I should go." Shepard dropped her arms, shifting her weight back to both feet. "I have to organize the fleets." She turned, making her way down the handful of stairs leading up to Aria's throne room.

" _You're not sure about it, are you?"_ Jane's empathy washed over Shepard. " _I'm not either, but I think … I think I know Garrus well enough to know whatever he did, he had his reasons, and he probably didn't let Aria in on them. We should talk to him about it, just ask him what he did for Aria."_

"Yeah," Shepard thought, trying her hardest to fight back the twisted knot of snakes writing around in the pit of her stomach.

"Try not to kill my customers on your way out," Aria called after her.

Shepard stopped at the base of the stairs, and glanced over her shoulder. "I didn't draw a weapon, didn't even hit him."

"I know, I was watching the security feed." Aria jerked her head up in question. "What did you say to him?"

Shepard forced a smile on her face, wanting nothing more than to tell Aria to fuck off and go back to the Normandy to clean the stink of Omega out of her nose, mouth, and lungs. Instead, she turned back around to face Aria but stayed where she was. "I inspired him to do something better with his life than talk shit."

"If I recall, the last time you were here, you said you didn't come to Omega to recruit." Aria uncrossed her legs before crossing them again in the opposite direction. "I assumed you meant since you had Archangel and Mordin, you weren't interested in anyone else Omega might have to offer."

Shepard shook her head. "I don't have any issue taking volunteers from Omega, but I wasn't recruiting him for the war." She shrugged. "Just reminded him that his people are hurting and he's wasting his time hoping to get laid by one of the dancers."

Aria tilted her head back, laughing up at the ceiling. "Go, Shepard. Organize your fleets. If you survive this suicide mission of yours, come see me again. I'll give you the answers to the questions you're afraid to ask."


	59. Chapter 58: Minimal Casualties

**Chapter 58: Minimal Casualties**

The fleets from the Council races were already filing through the relay. Shepard's team had been briefed. It was time. She should be thinking about what laid ahead, getting through the Omega 4 Relay in one piece, taking out the collector base … saving over three million people … but all she could think about was what, exactly, Garrus might've done for Aria.

Sighing, she tossed the datapad down on the coffee table in her cabin. She'd gone up there to try to center herself and look over the reports while they waited for the last of the fleets to report in. Who was she kidding, though? She needed to have a talk with Garrus before passing through the relay or her mind wouldn't be one hundred percent in the game, and that's where she needed it to be. "EDI, ask Garrus to come up here, will you?"

"Of course, Shepard." EDI's paused before adding, "Garrus is on his way."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees and rubbed her face.

A few minutes later, her cabin door slid open, and she turned to look over her shoulder, watching as Garrus appeared on the stairs. "Hey … we need to talk."

He stopped on the last step, mandibles fluttering. "Why does it sound like you're going to tell me something I don't want to hear?"

Jane snorted, the sound far from delicate in the back of her mind.

She smiled and raked a hand through her hair, throwing herself back against the cushions with a heavy sigh. "Actually, I think you're going to tell me something I don't want to hear."

"Hmmm." He stepped down and crossed the floor to stand next to the couch. "And what might that be?"

She looked up at him and held her hand out, waiting for him to slip his fingers over her palm before she tugged at him, urging him to sit. "I need to know what happened between you and Aria while you were on Omega. She's going to end up telling me whether I want her to or not, I can tell … and I think I'd rather hear it from you."

Folding his leg, he sat sideways on the couch next to her and draped his arm over the back. His mandibles worked soundlessly for a moment, his eyes taking on an icy edge that made her stomach twist in knots. Settling her hand on his knee, she chewed on the inside corner of her lip, waiting while he seemed to put his thoughts in order.

Garrus sighed. "Aria didn't pay me much mind until I had a team put together. I think she started seeing us as a threat, so she arranged a, ah, meeting."

Lifting an eyebrow, she asked, "Meeting?"

His mandibles fluttered, gaze dropping down to her hand. It'd been a long time since he'd shown embarrassment, but she'd be damned if it wasn't painted all over his face as clearly as his colony markings. "Hmmm, you might call it an ambush. A few of her men caught me off guard while I was away from the base alone, they drug me into Afterlife and threw me down on the floor at her feet." A frustrated growl distorted his words, but not so much her translator couldn't pick up what he said. "She said she wanted to meet this Archangel who'd been causing so much talk in her streets." He shook his head and glanced up at Shepard. "I thought she was going to have me killed. I wasn't entirely sure I cared."

She fought back the urge to wince and scold him for letting such a thought even cross his mind. "What happened?"

"Basically, she told me if I wanted to continue to operate on Omega, she needed something from me in exchange. She wanted me to oversee a couple of smuggling shipments—weapons to a group of batarians known to take part in the slave trade, and crates of narcotics … Hallex, illegal stims, Red Sand, the usual. She also 'suggested' I avoid taking out anyone doing her business, and offered me a list of names of groups who were getting dangerously close to being seen as competition to her businesses."

" _He gave weapons to slavers? Gods, that goes against everything he's ever stood for …."_ Jane seemed to shift forward, almost as if she were leaning in toward Garrus, scrutinizing the turian. " _Hell, even smuggling drugs is just … no, there has to be more to this."_

Shepard swallowed, turning her head to stare out across the room, thoughts racing as she tried to find a way to shine a positive light on his revelations. Something that wouldn't make her skin crawl whenever he touched her, because the idea of him helping Aria give batarian slavers weaponry made her want to vomit—especially considering he damned well knew about the raids she survived on Mindoir, the same raids which stole from her everyone she knew and loved as a child, parents included. The drugs, she didn't like, but she could handle. Acting as Aria's personal hitman was a sickening, but at least she knew the names on Aria's list were likely people who'd end up on Archangel's radar anyway. Hell, Shepard herself killed Anto for Aria. No, she killed Anto for information, a lead on Garrus and Mordin, and to prevent further issue with Aria.

" _No wonder Grundan Krul seemed surprised the first time Aria mentioned their 'arrangement.'"_ Jane hummed, leaving Shepard with the impression of a baffled shake of her head. " _Surely_ that  _would've gotten a rise out of him. Hell, I doubt anyone on Garrus' team would've been thrilled with the idea of being under Aria's little, blue thumb."_

"Dawn, it's not as bad as it sounds, I promise." He scooted a little closer, leaning in to run his fingertips over her jaw. "I agreed to Aria's demands, but do you really think I'd let it go at that? Spirits." He tugged her chin a little, getting her to turn her face back to him. His eyes had taken on a fervent cast, no longer crystal blue ice, but wild, blue fire.

Watching her for a moment, seeming to search her gaze, he dropped his hand from her face only to scoop up both of her hands in his. "I sabotaged the batarian slaver ship, it never made it back to Lorek. The whole thing was destroyed," he said, shaking his head, "nothing but debris floating in space. If anyone bothers to go looking for the black box, it'll show an electrical malfunction lead the a core overload. As far as Aria's concerned, she got her payment and delivered her product. I expected her to be pissed, if for no other reason than she lost repeat customers … but honestly, I think she knew I'd do something. I think she wanted me to, and that's why she never even asked me about the ship."

" _Sounds like Aria,"_ Jane said, her tone taking on a soothing lilt. " _I know I said before that you broke him, but … he's still Garrus."_

Sucking in a deep breath, she felt her muscles relax a little, and she closed her eyes."Yeah." The words came out weaker than she intended, so she nodded for good measure.

"The ship carrying the narcotics was intercepted on Council orders the second it left the Terminus Systems. I know they unloaded some of the cargo in nearby systems first, but it was the best I could do." He fluttered his mandibles when she looked at him again. "Did I kill for Aria? Yeah. Yeah, I did. I did some terrible things on Omega, I'm not going to pretend I didn't, but never to people who didn't deserve it. And yeah, I also avoided killing certain people for Aria, some of the worst scum I've ever met, but I did what I had to do." Mandibles fluttering in a strange mix of defiance and pleading, he let out a soft keen, tightening his hands around her fingers.

Jane geared up to say something else, thoughts churning in the back of Shepard's mind, but she stopped herself at the sad sound coming from Garrus. It tore at Shepard's heart, and she knew it did the same to Jane. And, if the strong wave of apprehension washing over her was anything to guage things by, then the majority of Shepards still 'alive' in her head were also disquieted by the evidence of Garrus' inner turmoil.

"I had to stay on Omega. Even when, hmm." He stopped and closed his eyes, shaking his head, mandibles flared wide. "Even when I felt filled to the brim with rage at you, even when I was a keening mess, mourning you and trying to drown myself in alcohol … even when I began to doubt you would ever really come back. I thought if I left Omega—if I let myself give up completely—then you  _definitely_  never would."

She sighed, reaching out to tug at one of his mandibles, using it to guide him to her. Eyes popping open, a slow smile spread over his face, his other mandible fluttering with the gesture. He leaned in, pressing his mouth plates against her lips before gathering her up in his arms and dragging her over to his lap. She laughed, settling into the bowl made by his bent leg and tucked herself in against his chest.

He hummed, apparently satisfied all was well between the two of them. Nuzzling against her head, he pulled her in a little closer. After a moment, he let out another soft hum, contemplative and curious. "You ready to go blow up a collector base?"

"As ready as ever, I suppose." She shrugged against his chest, ignoring the part of her that didn't feel so confident and really just wanted to tuck her head under his chin and hide there.

"That is good news, Shepard, because the last of the fleets have arrived," EDI said.

Shepard sucked in a deep breath and let it out in a rush, letting her lips flap. "Thanks, EDI. Tell Joker to go ahead and organize the entry into the Omega 4 Relay and start heading that way. Let the crew know to be ready, and make sure Kasumi goes back up to the med bay. If the oculus busts through the hangar again, I don't want her down there."

"Right away, Shepard."

Tilting her head back to look up at Garrus, Shepard met his gaze when he glanced down at her. "Kiss me for luck?"

He smirked, a soft purr in the back of his throat as he brought his mouth to hers. Parting her lips, she trailed her tongue along the edges of his mouth plates until he opened his mouth to her, tongue joining hers. Wrapping a hand around the back of his head, just under his fringe she held him close to her, savoring the kiss for long seconds before letting it end with a sigh. Untangling herself from him, she stood and picked up the datapad, tucking it under her arm.

He followed her over to the cabinet she kept her armor in and helped her suit up. When the last piece of armor was secured and the last of her guns in place, he leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers. "I'm going down to the battery, make sure—"

"The guns are calibrated, yeah, I know." She chuckled, brushing her hand over his arm.

He flicked a mandible at her. "Hmmm. I'll see you on the other side. Take a few shots for me?"

"You bet," she said with a grin. "I'll even yell out 'scratched one' and 'one less to worry about.'"

" _Don't forget 'scoped and dropped' or 'never saw me coming.'"_ Jane laughed. " _Oh, and his battlefield love confession for his weapon 'I love this rifle.'"_

"I don't say those things in battle," he said, deadpan.

Shepard snorted. "Uh huh. Jane just reminded me of a few others, too."

He chuffed, giving her a playful growl as he slid his arm around her waist, leading her out of the cabin. "Jane, aren't you supposed to be trying to win back my favor?"

" _Hey, I like your … battle cries. They're very_ you _, and they let me know you're still alive out there on the field."_

He chuckled when Shepard repeated Jane's statement, pushing the elevator call button. "At least it's better than 'nothing's faster than Chatika vas Paus.'"

"Don't be a bosh'tet." She stepped on to the elevator when the door slid open, moving to the back to turn and lean against the wall. "I'm telling Tali you're making fun of her drone."

"I'm not making fun of her drone," he said, pushing the buttons for the second and third decks. "I'm making fun of her weird obsession with her drone. The drone I'm good with, it does its job distracting enemies and taking down their shields."

They took the elevator down together, Shepard stepping off on the CIC while he continued down to the third deck. When she reached the cockpit, she found Miranda already there, hovering behind Joker with her arms crossed and her hip cocked. Shepard put a hand on Miranda's shoulder, and the woman glanced at her.

Stepping aside, Miranda turned her attention back to the ship's controls. "Everything is in order, Commander."

Joker cast an irritated glance at Shepard, and she fought back a smirk. She knew he hated having the Cerberus operative overseeing his work, as if he didn't know the Normandy better than the engineers who put it together. Laying a hand on Joker's shoulder, she gave it a little squeeze. She looked out the window, seeing the Omega 4 Relay looming in the distance, the Normandy just outside of its reach. Ships of various makes and sizes spread out around the Normandy, waiting for Shepard's orders.

Patting Joker's shoulder, she removed her hand and stuck them both behind her back. "Open the channel, Joker. I have something to say, and I want everyone in here and out there to hear it."

"Aye aye, ma'am." He pushed a couple of buttons before looking up at her. "Channel is open."

She nodded, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin. "This is Commander Shepard. For some of us, this day has been a long time coming, others of you are just joining us. We're glad to have you, and humanity is grateful to have the Council's support. Some of us are probably frightened, uncertain about our odds. No one has gone through the Omega 4 Relay and come back out again. We can't be sure what we're facing on the other side. For some of us, this may very well be a one way trip, though I for one intend to survive."

Jane seemed to smirk, giving the lie to Shepard's words.  _They_ had gone through the relay and survived, time and time again.  _They_ knew what to expect on the other side. And  _they_  did it all  _without_  the Council's support.

Shifting her weight a little, Shepard paused to take a couple of breaths before continuing, "No longer are the collectors sticking to the Terminus Systems. No longer are they acting as cowards, tiptoeing around the edges to attack colonies separated from the protection of the Alliance and the Council. They mistook our political boundaries for weakness, acceptance of their crimes, and they attacked Earth, the homeworld of humanity."

Shepard's words seemed to take a little of the fire out of Jane's ego. Yeah, they may have done all of that in Jane and the others' time, and sure, it gave Shepard an advantage, but the fact was, the circumstances were far different. Jane had begged Shepard to change things in the beginning, and she'd done her best to do just that. The reality left them all hoping it didn't come back to bite her in the ass.

Thane stepped into the cockpit, drawing Shepard's attention for just a second as he took up position behind the co-pilot's chair. He nodded at her and then turned his gaze out at the relay.

"Some of you may be wondering how long until the collectors stop going after just humans. How long until they move for Thessia, Palaven, or Sur'Kesh? Well, we're not going to give them the chance. Today we're going to show them not only does humanity not stand alone, but we stand with some of the most powerful allies this galaxy has ever seen! We're going through the Omega 4 Relay, invading  _their_  home where they think themselves safe and protected, and when we come back out again, the collectors will never be a threat to anyone in this galaxy again." She tapped Joker's shoulder, making a slicing motion in front of her neck when he glanced up.

He jerked his head in a nod and pushed a couple of buttons. "Nice speech, Commander. Let's just hope EDI was really able to isolate the IFF code for all of them."

" _She damned well better have, or we're going to be in serious shit. Try explaining that one to the Council."_

EDI's hologram fluttered to the left of the pilot, the iris opening and closing as she spoke. "Legion and I are certain the code is safe and will work as expected, Jeff."

Shepard smiled at the hologram. "I trust you, EDI, and so does Joker, even if he doesn't want to admit it."

"Thank you, Shepard," said EDI.

"Let's get this ship moving." Shepard glanced at Thane before looking over at Miranda. "You might want to find something to hang on to, it's going to be a bumpy ride."

The propulsion systems kicked in, the inertial dampeners negating the feeling of movement, leaving the stars and ships shifting past in her peripherals the only sign Joker followed her order. Gripping the back of Joker's chair, she turned her attention back to the swiftly approaching, red relay. The first of the flashing hazard beacons came into sight, and from the corner of her eye, she saw Thane clasp his hands in front of him, bowing his head. The Normandy pulled out in front of all the other ships, the spearhead of the lance aimed straight for the Omega 4 Relay. She glanced down at the sensor read out on Joker's console, noting the blips indicating the ships were still following on track.

Shepard filtered through the memories bubbling to the surface, pulling the ones she needed in the moment to the forefront. "You're going to need to reroute the drive core's electrical charge when the IFF is active."

Joker glanced at her, but she didn't meet his gaze, letting the surety of her tone speak for itself.

"Reaper IFF activated," EDI said. "Signal acknowledged."

"Rerouting the core. Hitting the relay in five … four … three … two …." Just as Joker would've said one, the red tendrils of energy whipped out from the relay, grabbing the Normandy, flinging the ship out right toward the galactic core at FTL speeds.

"Brace for deceleration," EDI, Shepard, and Jane said in unison.

"Oh, shit!" Joker swerved to avoid a head on collision with the remnants of an ancient ship only to have another piece of debris clip a wing. The ship jerked, but he had it steadied out and on a path to clear the thickest parts of the debris field before Shepard could tell him to keep it steady.

She swallowed, though, unease creeping along her spine. Replaying her memories of the trip through the relay, she didn't even need Jane's confirmation that no, he'd never clipped the wing the same way before. He always had to dodge on reentry, but not once did the Normandy take damage so soon until just then. At least not before the oculus started dogging them.

"Joker, slow down! We want the Normandy in one piece!" Miranda all but screeched, digging her fingers into the side of his chair.

"Uhhhh, it won't be in one piece if we're still in the way when the other ships start coming through." He spared an agitated glance over his shoulder before turning his attention back to the controls, brow furrowed in concentration. "Duh."

" _Duh,"_ Jane repeated.

Miranda huffed, but didn't say anything else.

"PFS Havincaw reporting in." EDI began listing off the names of various ships as they came through the relay, but hearing 'PFS Havincaw' transported Shepard to another time, another place.

Steve Cortez stood next to her—him—leaning over a rail, looking out over the Citadel airspace on the docks. Steve pushed away from the railing, moving a little closer to Shepard. "Hey, turian frigate. I think that's the PFS Havincaw."

Shepard followed his gaze to the frigate before glancing back at Steve. "What's one turian warship doing at the Citadel?"

Steve leaned back over the railing. "Looking for drydock, I bet—"

"Kinda need to concentrate, EDI," Joker said, the strain in his voice pulling Shepard away from the other life. "Maybe just let us know if there's a ship that  _doesn't_ show up."

"Very well, Jeff."

Shepard blinked, pushing away the residual voices of a conversation she might never actually have. After all, Ferris Fields didn't get attacked in her lifetime. Steve Cortez's husband was probably still alive. The man wouldn't be lost in mourning when she met him, if she even met him at all.

"Careful, Jeff. We have company."

"Normandy, this is the Cybaen." A woman's voice, asari no doubt, if she was on the Cybaen's crew, filtered through the cockpit's comm system. "You have enemy movement on your flanks. We're sending out fighters."

"Copy that, Cybaen," Joker said, his hand never ceasing movement over the controls. "Thanks, wouldn't want them to scuff up my baby."

" _Don't let him rely on the Cybean completely,"_ Jane urged, images of the oculus ripping through the hangar flashing through Shepard's mind.

"Be ready for evasive maneuvers anyway, Joker." Shepard leaned in, making sure she wasn't overheard by the Cybean. "These things are fast and they pack a punch. The plating will hold against their lasers, but they'll project themselves right through the hull."

Joker pushed a button, muting the connection to the Cybean. "Now you tell me."

"She told us before." EDI's voice took on a cocky tone, making Shepard smirk. "Should I play the log of the conversation for you?"

Joker snorted. "No, EDI. God, whose side are you on anyway?"

"I am on the side that keeps the Normandy and our crew alive," EDI said, her tone soft and filled with an affection the AI still didn't seem to realize she knew how to feel.

" _Amen, EDI."_

"I'm with EDI." Miranda shifted her weight to the other hip, white knuckling the side of Joker's chair as the ship nose dived before shooting back up again.

One of the asari fighters came into view, blowing up an oculus, as the ship leveled back out, and Joker whooped. "Hell yeah!"

A moment later, the asari's voice came over the comm once more. "You're clear, Normandy."

Unmuting the comm, Joker grinned and said, "Thanks, ladies."

Shepard cleared her throat.

"Uh." His gaze flicked to hers before shifting to the green glow of the open comm. "I mean, ma'am."

The asari chuckled. "Anytime, Flight Lieutenant."

Joker cut the comm as the Normandy rounded an enormous chunk of what looked like prothean era ship, the collector base coming into view. Miranda let go of his chair, crossing her arms once more. Thane stepped a little closer to Shepard, and Joker let out a low whistle.

Jane grew still, and Shepard could feel the push of memories against her consciousness, held at bay only through Jane's efforts. Still, she knew what Jane fought to keep from her in that moment, things she'd seen already, images of the people she cared for dying on the collector base looming ahead of them. She set her jaw, she would  _not_  be losing anyone else.

"It's going to send a cruiser out after us." Shepard lifted a shoulder and tilted her head to the side a hair. "Well, at least it always has before. Same one that took down the old Normandy, but who knows what will happen now. So much has changed …."

"We're ready for it, Shepard," Joker said, glancing up at her, eyes filled with determination and support. The way he looked at her … he wasn't just her pilot, but her friend. "Don't worry. I'll get you to the base. You just focus on getting the job done once we land."

"Shepard, I'm getting reports from the Alliance fleet." EDI drew her attention away from Joker. "It appears a cruiser was lying dormant in the debris field. It has activated and is now flanking the fleet."

" _Shit,"_ Jane said, echoing Shepard's sentiment.

"Notify the turian fleet, ask them to send ships with Thanix cannons to assist." Shepard fought the urge to let her shoulders slump. She knew her crew needed to see her with her head held high, needed to see her confident, not despairing. "We're too far out to turn back to help them now."

Joker looked up at her, his eyebrows raised. "You sure?"

In response, Shepard lifted a hand, pointing at another cruiser disengaging from the base. "We have our own battle to fight."

Voice solemn, EDI said, "The turians are sending assistance, Shepard."

"EDI, is that it?" Joker's eyes narrowed, lip lifting in a silent snarl as he took in the collector ship. "Is that the piece of shit that took down the old Normandy?"

"Scans of the cruiser's emissions suggests it is, Jeff."

"Oh, ho, ho. Hang on you guys, I'm about to light those sons-of-bitches up." His hands flew over the controls, almost faster than Shepard's eyes could track. "Firing the main guns!"

The Thanix cannons whirred to life, the shift in mass effect energy almost palpable. Just as Joker took the first shot—shearing through the outer, hive like plating—another cruiser left the base. But then, the darkness of space suddenly lit up with fireworks, and the Normandy became surrounded on either side by asari and salarian ships. Shepard sucked in a slow breath, holding it for a second, examing the spark of hope springing forth in her chest.

A moment later, the Thanix cannons charged again, Joker took another shot, slicing through the cruiser, already set ablaze in several locations thanks to their allies. The collector vessel exploded with thick flames, billowing out in all directions, chunks of the ship ripping away only to be thrown into the path of the second cruiser.

"The ship attacking the Alliance has been destroyed," EDI said, and Shepard swore she heard relief in the AI's voice. "Alliance and turian ships are back on course with minimal casualties."

" _I wonder what Cerberus taught her to view as 'minimal casualties.'"_

"I don't want to know right now," Shepard thought, her stomach churning as she watched the destruction in front of her.

Bile rose up into her throat as it occurred to her, there very well may still have been humans on those collector ships. Hundreds. Thousands. Maybe even more. Another piece of the destroyed cruiser blew off as something critical exploded within, sending shrapnel spinning out of control. Pieces of the ship careening right towards them.

"Shit." Joker lifted the Normandy, turning the ship on her side, but still, something slammed into the ship hard enough to nearly knock Shepard off her feet. "Shit, shit, shit. They hit the guns!"

"Several of the allied ships have been severely damaged." And just like that, the relief disappeared, leaving the AI sounding almost mournful. "Emergency evacuation procedures have begun."

"Put me through to the main battery," Shepard barked the order at EDI, waiting for the comm light on Joker's console to turn green. "Garrus, the guns have been—"

A deep growl followed by the sound of something metal hitting metal cut her off. "I'm already on it, just need a minute. Buy me some time."

Joker pushed a button on his console. "We're going to need a minute for the cannons to be realigned."

Salarian and then asari voices responded back, telling Joker they'd cover the Normandy. Shepard slid into the co-pilot's chair, sitting sideways, barely aware she'd slipped into the breathing exercises Thane taught her to try to soothe her racing thoughts. Salarian and asari ships moved out in front of the Normandy, surrounding them. The collector ship fired, taking out three asari and two salarian ships in one blow.

"Bloody hell …." Miranda whispered, but still, it carried enough volume in the graveyard-like silence of the cockpit to reach Shepard's ears.

Shepard's breathing stalled, heart sinking into the pit of her stomach to bathe in the excess acid, until Thane laid a hand on her shoulder, a gesture she barely felt through her armor, but it was enough to remind her to breathe. "Joker, those cannons ready yet?"

"Almost … there!" He lifted the Normandy up above the blockade of ships that moved in to take the place of their fallen comrades, and then angled the Normandy down, sending them racing toward the cruiser.

Firing off the cannon, he ripped through the front end of the collector ship, tearing off a piece and sending it off course, forcing it's shot to go wide, off into the debris field. The moment the cannon finished priming for its second shot, he took it, shearing straight through the back side of the cruiser while the other fleets continued to fire. Just like the first one, the ship burst into flames, the force and heat enough to rock the Normandy, but Joker got the ship out of there before the explosion could do any real damage.

Turning the ship around, he took them back closer to the fleets, giving Shepard a view of the damage already done. Damage brought on by her meddling with fate, changing things to try to make them better, to try to break her cycle. How many more lives would be lost for her sake? Fires, already consuming all of the oxygen available to them, began to burn out, leaving at least fifteen new, shattered husks of ships to drift away into the graveyard surrounding them. A few ships held back, picking up escape pods, but the rest stayed the course, following the Normandy's lead as they closed the distance to the collector base.


	60. Chapter 59: We Lost too Many

**Chapter 59: We Lost too Many**

Shepard stepped over a turian corpse, blue blood still trickling out of the massive hole in his head. The battle raged around her, but she no longer heard the sharp bark of gunfire or the deep, resonate thrum of biotics; the only sound was the beat of her heart, blood coursing through her veins and pounding in her skull. Hundreds of thousands of resin coffins stood empty, the people inside escorted back to the waiting ships, countless more filled with the soupy remains of humans, melted down to be pumped into the embryonic reaper. Skirting a dead salarian, she locked her sights on the glowing form of a possessed collector and activated her biotic Charge, knocking the collector back before shooting it in the face.

"You cannot stop the Harvest, Shepard." Harbinger's voice echoed through the cavern, somehow able to penetrate the fog surrounding her mind, bringing a rush of noise back in with it. A collector to her right began to glow. "You will regret your resistance."

Grunt slammed into the collector, and Shepard turned to face the next threat. Blood and gore surrounded her, everywhere she looked. People banged on the inside of the pods holding them captive, their screams silenced by the cacophony, faces contorted in agony as the machinery ground them into mush. The conveyor lowered the next batch of pods to the ground, and Shepard kept fighting, trying her hardest not to notice just how many of those pods no longer held living people as the allied forces rushed to open them.

"Commander, we found Admiral Hackett." An unknown man's voice filled her ear, one of the Alliance soldiers, she assumed. "He's alive."

" _Thank gods,"_ Jane whispered.

"Good, keep him that way." Shepard hit a Harbinger collector with a Reave, ripping away its barrier.

Her head throbbed, muscles complained with every movement, but still she fought as the hours ticked by. At least it felt like hours. She wasn't exactly sure anymore, and she wasn't going to waste time stopping to check her omni-tool. When she ran out of ammo, she picked up the weapons of the fallen: human, asari, turian, salarian, or collector, it made no difference in the end. She could almost hear the voices of those she absorbed, feel the beats of their hearts, taste their rage and their fear. She commanded biotic powers never known to her before, wielded more dark energy than she'd ever felt, as if she found and tapped into a wellspring, hidden within herself. But still people fell around her.

As the conveyor brought down more and more pods, fewer and fewer contained anything but liquified corpses. Another seeker swarm arrived, but the biotics already learned a Singularity detonated with a Warp did wonders to kill off the insectile creatures. Shepard turned from blowing the head off of a collector to rip a husk off of Jacob's back, throwing it to the ground and stomping on its face.

"Shepard, I detect no more life signatures within the remaining pods." EDI's voice filled her ear, heavy with a sympathy the AI would only deny being able to feel. "I'm sorry, we have saved all we can."

"How—" Shepard's voice cracked when she tried to speak, mouth and throat bone dry. She licked her lips, desperate to work up some saliva, and tried again. "How many did we get, EDI?"

"One million seven hundred and sixty-three thousand four hundred and two," EDI said.

The number echoed around in Shepard's head, ripping open her heart like a strike of lightning rending a tree in two. So few …. Did they even manage to save half once the colonists were factored in? Gritting her teeth, a growl ripped through her throat, and she Charged, slamming into the nearest collector.

"This yield has been lost. Protect the unascended," a Harbinger collector said, and in an instant, all collectors in the area took flight, seeming to retreat into the distance.

Shepard dropped to one knee, exhausted. Thane crouched in front of her, resting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up, meeting his worried gaze and nodded. The rest of her team moved in around her as she pulled herself back to her feet, chest heaving. She looked around at the floor littered with the bodies of allies, men and women who died because of something she changed … collector pods seeping carnage … their lives, all of their lives, were on her head.

She swallowed down the bile rising in her throat and turned her attention to her crew. "We need to keep going. We have to destroy the reaper they're making and blow this place to hell."

"What about them?" James asked, nodding his head in the direction of the allied forces still moving survivors out of the base.

Glancing over her shoulder, she swallowed again. "The collectors pulled back to protect the reaper, they're not going to make it easy for us. They'll have time to finish the evacuation and get their ships clear of the blast. Once I set the charges, we'll have ten minutes to get the hell out of here and back to the Normandy." She started over to the transportation platform. "Let's go."

They piled onto the platform, and it broke away from the dock, moving out over the seemingly bottomless canyon below. The trip to the next dock passed in silence, her team members shifting around on the platform to take in their surroundings and check their clips. Shepard knew in other lives, they'd be forced to fight their way through more collectors on the dock, but the area remained quiet. She lead them across the dock, only to find there wasn't another platform waiting for them. The collectors must've recalled them all to try to slow her progress.

She brought a hand to her ear, activating her comm. "EDI? Can you get a platform sent back to us?"

"Yes. Overriding the platform's console now, it will arrive shortly," said EDI.

"Thanks." She leaned against the low wall, a collector assault rifle resting atop her thighs.

"You're welcome, Shepard."

She pushed away from the wall when she saw the platform arriving and waited near the edge. The platform docked, and Shepard stepped on, moving to the console while the others followed her. "Remember, once we take out the tubes, it'll fall, but it won't stay down. When it comes back up, aim for the eyes, the weapon in its mouth, and the core in its chest."

"Don't worry, Ídolo." James reached over, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving her a little shake. "We've got this."

She tried to smile, but she felt pretty sure it came across flat and forced. "Yeah."

Tali hissed, drawing Shepard's attention to the reaper construct looming in the distance. Her heart stopped for a moment, pain lancing through her chest before it started beating again. It wasn't the same reaper as before. Well, it was, only far more advanced. Metal plating covered the skeletal features, encasing the head and chest as if skin and muscle. Legs dangled down below where once there was nothing, and more tubes held the monstrosity in place, anchored into the chest, hips, knees, and ankles. Its head turned, glowing eyes zeroing in on Shepard as the platform approached. Opening its mouth, a scarlet vortex appeared, charging the cannons.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Get down! Everybody get down!" She grabbed James, his hand still on her shoulder, and dragged him down with her, pressing her back against the low walls of the platform.

Her heart slammed against her chest, cold, blood-curdling fear ramping up her adrenaline once more. Everyone crouched, getting as low as they could, but it was too crowded, there wasn't enough room for everyone to have adequate cover. The blast hit, washing over the platform and making it rock.

She watched, horror-stricken and helpless from her position, as Zaeed tumbled over the edge, his scream a like a spike rammed through her skull. Grunt threw himself forward, trying to catch the old mercenary, but he only made the platform tilt further, nearly capsizing the entire thing before he caught himself and scuttled back. Miranda and Samara both tried to catch Zaeed using their biotics, but it was far too late. He was gone. Zaeed was gone.

" _Oh gods …."_

"EDI, can you make this thing go any faster?" Shepard yelled into her comm as she lifted her assault rifle, clenching her jaw down on a bellow of fury, turning to shoot from cover the moment the platform stabilized.

She didn't need to give the order, everyone started firing, focusing their attention on the enormous threat that just claimed one of their own. They'd mourn later. EDI didn't respond, which was just as well since Shepard doubted she'd have heard the AI over the sound of gunfire. Legion moved to the console, though, and within a second the platform picked up speed. The reaper was already charging another blast when they docked; the collectors wasting no time to swarm them.

Ordering her team forward, they claimed two more platforms as their own. She took a moment to activate their Medi-gel, washing herself and everyone else in the cooling relief of the life-saving substance stolen from the corpses of her allies. With the humanoid reaper already … conscious, she didn't waste her time shooting out the feeding tubes, though she knew some of her squad would still target the anchors while others focused on the collectors. It certainly wouldn't hurt to have the reaper drop, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to hit it where it hurt.

Shepard fired round after round into the core of the reaper, her shots mingling with those from James and Kal. Legion took shots at the tubes holding the reaper in place, and Thane focused on the eyes. Grunt threw himself into the fray, bowling over collectors while everyone else stayed behind cover, using biotics, tech, and weapons to fight the prothean husks.

A tube shattered, and the reaper tore its arm free. Swiping at the interlocked platforms on the other side of the dock, two platforms ripped away, falling into the darkness. Collectors on the platforms took flight, some moving to other platforms, some staying airborn to fire down on Shepard and her team. The reaper's arm swung out again, fingers gaining purchase on one of the low walls of the dock, and it used the leverage to pull its other arm free.

Hunkering down over the dock, the reaper opened its mouth, the vortex already building into another cannon blast, the core in its chest obstructed from Shepard's view. Its gaze locked on her, and she ducked behind the wall, forcing herself as low as she could without lying prone. The blast swept over her platform, heat searing the air around her, eating through her shields and making her feel as if she was being cooked alive for a few seconds before dissipating.

Looking back out of cover, a collector particle beam ripped through her armor, slicing through the meat of her upper arm. She hissed, ducking back behind the wall and grit her teeth. Glancing around the edge once more, she hit the collector responsible with a Reave, using it to boost her shields before returning fire.

"The forces of the universe bend to me," the Harbinger collector said. "We will end you."

Grunt slammed into it, knocking the glowing collector back before ramming the butt of his shotgun in Harbinger's puppet's face. Jack sent out a Shockwave, throwing several collectors back, and two fell over the edge only to reappear a moment later, wings fluttering. Mordin sent an Incinerate at one, burning up its wings and making it drop into the abyss. The reaper began charging its cannon once more, head swiveling towards Grunt.

"Grunt, get down!" Shepard yelled, aiming her assault rifle at the charging weapon in the reaper's mouth. She fired off several shots, drawing the reapers attention back to her, and she kept firing until the last minute, ducking back into cover only once the spinning stopped, ready to fire.

The blast went off, dropping Shepard's shields again, but James was unlucky enough to be caught in the blast. The shot lifted him off his feet, throwing him like a ragdoll. He slammed into a raised platform before dropping back to the floor, landing face first. She rushed to him, grabbing his hand and dragging him back to the safety of cover before activating the Medi-gel release. James coughed and groaned, pulling himself up to sitting, his back pressed against the half-wall. She put a hand on his shoulder, keeping him under cover until his head cleared enough to reorient to the battle. Looking up, he met her gaze and nodded. She slapped his armored shoulder and returned the gesture, turning her attention back to the reaper.

"Assuming control." Harbinger's voice echoed in Shepard's ear, each syllable spoken only adding fuel to her fire. "I am the harbinger of your ascendence."

She fired off a few shots aimed at the reaper's mouth, but it closed its makeshift lips, armoring the cannon. She cursed, the core still hidden from her, too, and aimed for the eye instead. Throwing its head back, the reaper screeched as one of its eyes exploded. The sound reminded her of the anguished screams of the people who died to give the reaper life. Opening its mouth, the vortex began spinning again, pulling together energy for another cannon blast.

"Such beings need never fear pain," the Harbinger collector said. "Kill one and one hundred will replace it. You are arrogant, Shepard, you will learn."

The screech of rending metal and loud pops filled the air seconds before the reaper lifted a knee onto the platform, pushing itself up, hovering over Shepard and half the team.

"Fire on the core," she yelled, rushing for new cover, using her biotic Charge to take down a wounded collector along the way.

The blast hit the pillar she hid behind, chewing through her shields and burning her, but failing to do any real damage. A moment later the core shattered, and as Shepard glanced around the edge, the light faded in the reaper's other two eyes. Its head lolled forward, the joints of its arms letting out a low whine as it began to tilt. Right elbow buckling, the reaper listed to the side and began to fall.

"Shit." Shepard started running in the opposite direction, dodging collectors the best she could. "Get out of the way, go, go!"

Launching herself over one of the half-walls, she raced down the length of the dock, putting as much distance between herself and the falling giant as she could, praying the dock was strong enough to hold out. A Harbinger collector stepped right into her path, lifting a hand as corrupted, dark energy formed around its fist. Shifting her footing to dodge, she didn't quite make it, the attack slamming into her, taking down her shields and knocking her back.

The entire dock shook beneath her feet, the noise of the enormous crash disrupting all other sound. The quaking knocked her flat on her ass, and the Harbinger collector took flight, firing at her while she lay prone. Before its bullets could rip through her armor, the collector burst into flames, dropping back to the dock before exploding into ash. Mordin stood over her, hand outstretched. Slapping her palm into his hand, she let him help her back to her feet.

Lifting her assault rifle, she spun around, scanning the destruction around her. All of the platforms at the far end and even half the dock had been ripped away as the reaper fell into the darkness. Collectors unlucky enough to be in those areas were gone, too. James and Jacob lay on their stomachs, reaching down over the edge. A quick scan of the faces around her told her Grunt must've fallen when the reaper crashed. She rushed back to the edge, firing on collectors trying to swarm James and Jacob.

With the reaper gone—hopefully for good—her team pulled back in around her, covering her six while she covered James and Jacob's. A moment later, James heaved, and Grunt's hand slapped down on the jagged, torn edges of the dock. Shepard let out a relieved bark of laughter.

"Irrelevant. You are short-sighted," Harbinger said through the mouth of another long-dead prothean. "Shepard, you cannot stop us."

Grunt got his elbows wedged on the dock, and James and Jacob shifted out of his way, grabbing on to his armor where they could and helped drag him back over the edge. Seeing the krogan back on his feet, she turned her attention to the remaining collectors. Exhausted and sore, she pressed on, firing her assault rifle until it clicked empty. Ducking behind cover next to a collector's corpse, she threw the assault rifle aside and scavenged a new one from the body.

Within minutes, the sound of gunfire ground to a halt, and Thane called the all clear. Shepard slumped, resting her back against the wall while she caught her breath. He moved to her side, standing over her, his own chest heaving as he offered her his hand.

She shook her head. "Give me a minute."

Dipping his head, he turned and sat on the edge of the wall. Gaze roaming over the rest of the group, notably absent of Zaeed, she swallowed back a wave of grief and activated the group Medi-gel release. She was so sure … so sure she'd make it through the Omega 4 Relay and back without losing any of her crew.

" _It's not your fault,"_ Jane said, her first actual words spoken since the Zaeed fell to his death. " _The collectors … it was never like this before. They never got so far on the construction of the reaper, there was never so many to fight here …."_

Tali sunk to the floor next to Shepard and leaned into her shoulder. "Are you alright, Shepard?"

"No," Shepard said before she even realized the word formed in her mind. Swallowing again, a tear fell down her cheek, and she shook her head. "We lost too many."

Tali leaned in further, putting a little more pressure against Shepard's arm. "You can't blame yourself, you did everything you could to try to save everyone."

"Yeah." Shepard didn't really want to hear it. She'd heard way too many versions of 'you did your best' to last her a million more lifetimes. Pulling herself to her feet, she held her hand out to Tali, helping the quarian up before activating her mic. "EDI, have they gotten all of the survivors out of the base?"

She waited a few seconds, expecting to hear the AI's voice fill her ear, but there was only silence. "EDI?"

Nothing.

Her blood turned to ice, her heart sinking down into the pit of her stomach. She heard the panic creeping into her own voice when she tried again. "EDI? Can you hear me?" She waited another moment, turning to face Thane when he put a hand on her waist. "Joker? Joker are you there?"

"Commander?" James stepped in a little closer to her, voice filled with concern.

"Joker?" When she still didn't get any response, she turned, looking over her shoulder back towards the exit and dropped her hand. "Damn it. I can't get the Normandy on the comm. James, take a team and head back, see what's going on. I need to make sure the survivors and allied forces are clear before I set the charges."

James gave her a sharp nod before turning to the others. "Kal, Tali, Jacob, Legion let's go."

They piled onto a platform, and Legion activated the console. Disengaging from the dock, the platform took off, carying James and his team back towards the exit. Shepard took a deep breath, trying to stave off the sense of impending doom settling back in around her shoulders.

"I'm getting a call from the Illusive Man." Miranda took a couple of steps closer, gaze shifting from her omni-tool to Shepard. "Do you want me to answer it?" She tapped her omni-tool, projecting a holographic image of the Illusive Man when Shepard nodded.

He took a drag from his cigarette. "Shepard, I've lost contact with Kelly Chambers. She was keeping me updated on the mission. If this is your doing—"

"It's not." Shepard sliced her hand through the air, cutting him off. She didn't have the time or the energy for another bullshit power play. "I can't get EDI or Joker on the comm, either. I don't know what's going on. I've sent a team back to the Normandy to check on things. We're waiting here to blow the charges as soon as we get word the other ships have cleared the blast radius."

"I see. I suppose this means the Council has commandeered the Normandy. They probably have the entire crew in handcuffs by now." He let out an exaggerated sigh and took a drag from his cigarette. "I don't suppose there's any point in trying to convince you to use a timed radiation pulse to kill off the remaining collectors instead, so the technology can be salvaged?"

Shepard dropped her weight to one hip and crossed her arms over her chest. Gods, she hoped he wasn't right about the Normandy being taken by the allied forces. She agreed not to fight them if they tried to arrest her after the mission, but no way would she sit on her hands if they went after the people she cared about. "Nope."

"We can use that technology—"

"Nope." She cut him off again, giving him a definitive shake of her head. "It's never worked in favor of the war before, it isn't going to this time, either."

Jane hummed, thoughts bubbling just below the surface of Shepard's consciousness. " _But Miranda will be in charge this time."_

"Yeah … but we don't know for sure  _what_  caused his indoctrination. What if he loses it completely  _because_  he gets his hands on a part of this reaper either way?" Shepard thought. "We might just be setting Miranda up to be indoctrinated."

" _Fair point,"_ Jane said, sounding mildly disappointed.

"You can't know that, Shepard." The Illusive Man cut through the air with his cigarette. "You've said yourself that you've … changed things. I know you and I don't see eye to eye, but you have to know I only want what's best for humanity, and ending this war as swiftly as possible is in all of our best interests."

She looked down at her feet for a moment and then shook her head. "No. We don't need this to win the war. Nothing good can possibly come from this nightmare or the things you'd do if it fell into your hands." Glancing up at Miranda, she said, "I'm done talking. Cut the call."

"Yes, Commander." Miranda's hand ran over her omni-tool, and a very annoyed looking Illusive Man disappeared.

Jack shifted around, moving a little closer to Shepard. "You think he's right? You think those assholes took the ship?"

"I don't know." Shepard shook her head, sucking in a deep breath knowing Jack was thinking the same thing she was: Garrus was still on the Normandy. "It's a possibility."

Jack swung a fist at the air before grabbing her head with both hands. "Fuck, what else could it be?" She threw her arms out to the side and started pacing.

"We  _have_  just infiltrated the collector's base." Miranda cocked a hip and crossed her arms, lifting an eyebrow.

Jack stopped pacing and glared at her. "Shit …. That's not fucking reassuring."

"It wasn't meant to be." Miranda waved a dismissive hand. "It's practical. Either way, we won't know until Lieutenant Vega reports in. There's no point in dwelling on maybes and what ifs until then. Stay focused on why we're here. We'll deal with whatever is going on with the Normandy once we've returned."

Jack snarled, taking a step toward Miranda, but Shepard moved in her way, holding up a hand.

"She's right, Jack." Shepard glanced over her shoulder at Miranda. "She could've found a more considerate way to put it …" She looked back at Jack when Miranda huffed, rolling her eyes. "... but she's right. I don't like it any more than you do, but we need to stay focused. There could still be collectors left alive in this place."

As if summoned by her words, Grunt turned toward the other side of the docks and said, "There's more on the way now."

"Fantastic," Shepard said, lacing the word with every ounce of sarcasm she could muster and turned, readying the collector assault rifle. A few seconds later, she heard the fluttering beat of wings in the distance.

The collectors arrived in droves, Harbinger seeming to throw everything into the fight. So Shepard did, too. She tore through the collectors, tapping back into the hidden wellspring of strength and biotic energy she didn't possess on her own. Her team—her friends, family even—fought with just as much focus and rage.

"Shepard …." James' voice broke through her comms.

Ducking into cover, she tapped her mic, keeping the line open while she fired on the nearest collector. "James? What's the Normandy's status? Are we clear to set the charges?"

"Commander, I …."

"Vega! Spit it out!" She may have snapped a little, but she was under fire and didn't really have time for whatever the lieutenant was stumbling over trying to tell her.

"Shepard …" Garrus' voice replaced James', and she sucked in a relieved breath. "The other ships are gone back through the relay, you're clear to set the charges."

"What's going on?" she asked between shots. "Why couldn't I get EDI or Joker on the comm?"

"I … I've taken care of it for the time being." Something about the tone of his voice sounded off, choked, like he fought to suppress emotions he didn't want her to hear. "Your link to the ship has been reestablished, just set the charges and get back here in one piece."

Pushing her back against the wall, she brought her hand to her helmet, as if she could block out the sounds of battle. "Garrus, what happened?"

He cleared his throat and took a breath deep enough for her to hear, still, there was a slight tremor to his voice when he said, "Dawn, please … just set the charges and get back to the ship."

Something was wrong. Very, very wrong. She didn't have time to fight off the rest of the collectors. They needed to get the hell off the base and back to the Normandy immediately.

She licked her lips, grip tightening on her gun. "Yeah." Her voice croaked, so she tried again. "Yeah, OK. I'll get them set now, and we'll retreat back to the ship."

"Thank you." Relief filled his voice, but it didn't cover the underlying dread and pain in his subvocals.

She didn't answer, instead switching back to the channel her squad used and said, "The ships are clear, cover me while I set the charges. We're getting the hell out of here."

She fell back to the nearest cooling rod, her team moving in around her. Pulling up the rod, she got to work. As soon as those charges were set, and the cooling rod slid back into place, she moved on to the next. Once all three cooling rods still remaining on the mangled dock were armed—she wanted to make damn sure there was nothing left for the Illusive Man or anyone else to retrieve—she pushed herself to her feet and lifted the collector assault rifle, walking drag to cover the others. "Alright, let's go. We've got ten minutes before this place blows."

Bolting to the nearest platform, they piled on, bullets still flying at the collectors chasing after them. Lia activated the console, and it broke away from the docks, automatically making the trip back toward the exit. A seeker swarm filled the air behind them, a dark, buzzing cloud, but the synthetic hybrids ignored Shepard and her squad completely. Still, it didn't stop Shepard from throwing a Singularity into their midst, forcing the small, mechanical bodies into the gravitic pull of the miniature mass effect field, crushing many of them instantly. Thane threw a Warp at the center, detonating the Singularity with a flash, tearing apart the remaining seekers.

The platform docked, and they didn't waste any time rushing to the next. Shepard silently thanked James—or more likely, Legion—who thought to send the platform back once they reached the other side. As the platform disengaged, the collectors caught up with them, settling down onto the dock. She expected them to continue their assault, firing on her and the others, but instead they all stopped, falling perfectly still. Black, lifeless eyes watched her as she moved further and further away. And then, in what she could only describe as a fit of rage, Harbinger took control of every collector standing on the dock, lifting them into the air as they started to glow with the telltale inner magma … and then they all exploded into clouds of ash.

"Goddess," Samara said so softly Shepard barely heard.

A moment later, and almost as quiet, Lia said, "Keelah."

" _Well shit, that's a first."_

As soon as they docked again, Shepard ran like hell, making her way to the central chamber door. Scions, groaning and lumbering, came into view. A few seconds later, the passage filled with husks and abominations as well. As if that wasn't enough, Shepard saw the shadows of two praetorians looming overhead beyond the door.

"Fuck!" she yelled, her voice echoing off the walls. "Just keep moving, don't let them pin you down." Switching to her grenade launcher, she took point, running into the next room.

She focused on keeping the praetorians distracted, giving the others the chance to get past. Grunt cleared a path through the husks and abominations, throwing himself against them and slamming his shotgun into their skulls as he passed, firing off shots at those that didn't stay down the first time. A praetorian's beam swept towards her, forcing her to dodge, jumping to the side and rolling behind cover, separating her from her team.

Despite having told them to keep moving and not get pinned down, Thane and Grunt returned to her side. Bellowing, Grunt pumped shot after shot into the praetorian, tearing down it's barrier. She popped out of cover, firing off three grenades, breaking through the praetorian's armor. The praetorian started pulling energy in around itself, white-blue flames licking over its carapace.

"Run!" Shepard bolted from cover, Thane hot on her heels, and she slapped Grunt's shoulder as she passed him. "Now! Run, go!"

The praetorian slammed down to the ground, shaking the floor beneath her feet, but they'd made it far enough away to avoid being knocked back. Counting down the seconds in her head until the praetorian's eye-lasers would rip through her back, she lead Thane and Grunt back to cover. When she glanced over the wall, she saw both praetorians moving in on their location.

"Shit," she popped out of cover, taking the opportunity to fire off more grenades before the lasers cut a swath straight for her.

Shots fired from the other side of the room drew Shepard's attention, and she realized the rest of her team moved back into the thick of things, taking up position behind cover and firing on the second praetorian and ground troops. A blast went off, knocking the praetorian back, and Miranda smiled, clapping Lia on the back before using a Slam to throw a collector up into the air.

Grunt switched to his assault rifle, whittling down the closest praetorian's barrier the rest of the way, and Shepard fired the last of her grenades. The praetorian pulled energy in around itself before slamming into the ground, knocking Shepard and Thane back out of cover. She dove back against the wall and switched to the assault rifle. Grunt and Thane were already firing on the flying monstrosity, its collection of husk heads moaning from within its mouth, when Shepard took aim. Barriers down once more, it only took a second to take the praetorian down.

Rushing for cover closer to the second praetorian, Shepard glanced at her omni-tool, counting down the time they had left to get clear of the blast zone, and brought her hand to her mic. "Joker, we're coming in hot, meet us at the rendezvous and get ready to hightail it out of here."

"We are on our way, Shepard," EDI responded. "We will arrive at the pick up location in two minutes."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard fired on the praetorian, yelling over the sounds of biotics and gunfire to get her crew's attention. "Fallback, keep moving!"

Holding down the trigger, she continued her barrage, drawing the praetorian's attention to her while the others started running. The assault rifle clicked, the clip empty. "Fuck." She threw the gun aside and drew her pistol, checking the Carnifex's clip as she began her retreat.

Grunt stayed at her side, Thane just behind her, as they moved backwards towards the exit. When the praetorian's attacks got too close, they scattered, rolling and dodging out of the way before regrouping. Shepard glanced over her shoulder, finding the rest of her squad waiting in the entryway, firing on collectors, scions, and husks closing in on Shepard's position. Close enough to risk it, she turned and ran, counting on them to keep her safe. As soon as everyone passed through the doors, Jacob got them closed and Mordin scrambled the lock.

She glanced at her omni-tool again, one and a half minutes. Dear Gods. "Come on!" She started running, each slap of her boots against the ground seeming to come hours apart. Her heart thundered against her sternum so hard, she thought it might actually burst free from her chest.

Collectors and husks, though far fewer than before, attacked them, dropping down behind cover or crawling up over the edges to harry their progress. The Normandy rose up in the distance, a beautiful beacon of hope, and the airlock opened. Garrus, clothes stained with crimson blood, mandibles tight against his jaws, lowered his assault rifle and fired on the enemies in pursuit. James stood at the other side, a grim look on his face as he lobbed a frag grenade, shotgun in hand.

Shepard pushed herself, moving to the side as she waved the others on, firing at the collectors behind her squad as they threw themselves into the ship's airlock. As soon as everyone else was clear, she holstered her pistol as she started running. Jumping, she was weightless for a moment as she soared through the air before crashing back down against the edge of the airlock, tumbling into the Normandy.

The airlock closed before she could pull herself back to her feet, and she let out a heavy sigh. "EDI, get us the hell out of here!"

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said, a hint of … was that sadness in her voice?

Shepard pulled herself to her feet and turned, locking in on the blood smearing Garrus' clothes. He reached for her, and her gaze travelled up to his face. His mandibles trembled, and there was something in his eyes ….

"No," she said, ice running through her veins. She shook her head, horror creeping in along the edges of her mind. "No. What happened?"

The confused and frightened murmurs coming from those behind her tugged at her consciousness. She turned away from Garrus and rushed into the area stretching between the cockpit and the CIC. Cerberus crew stood at their stations, frozen in place, the gold and black swirls of seeker venom energy surrounding them. Others, fallen to the ground, lifeless in puddles of their own blood.

She stopped dead in her tracks, as paralyzed as if a seeker had gotten her, too. "How …." Her brain stalled, unable to make the words come out of her mouth, but a moment later she tried again. "How the hell did this happen?"

Some of her crew turned to look at her with wide eyes, others looked on, their gazes locked on the cockpit. She started to turn, searching out Joker even as some distant and utterly absurd part of her mind told her he wouldn't be there. Garrus stepped in front of her, blocking her view.

"No." Shepard shook her head as pieces started to fall together in her mind. "No, no, no!" The last one came out almost a scream as she tried to move past Garrus, only to have Thane's hands wrap around her wrists, trying to tug her back. She wrenched her arms free, slapping away his hands and shoved Garrus aside.

Blood.

So much blood. Splashed over the pilot's chair, splattered over the controls and windows, puddled on the floor. Joker's SR-2 hat lay near the largest puddle, somehow still pristine in the middle of the macabre. A dead collector lay a few feet away, tucked back behind the copilot's chair. Something inside of Shepard cracked, voices of the crazed breaking through, their wails of torment shattering the last of her sanity into a million, tiny pieces. Her knees buckled, a scream ripping its way through her throat. Garrus was there again, strong arms wrapping around her and pulling her into his chest, but even with her face buried against him, she couldn't stop seeing the blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry. Please don't hate me.


	61. Epilogue: Where Things Made Sense

**Epilogue: Where Things Made Sense**

Shepard lay on one of the beds in the med bay, her back turned to the sheet covered corpse of one of her best friends. Knees drawn up to her chest, she stared at the med bay door, hushed whispers coming from back by the AI core.

"How did a collector even get aboard the Normandy?" Miranda asked.

Garrus chuffed, the sound filled with bitterness. "We  _brought_ it aboard. It's the collector from the tank in Mordin's lab."

"Dios … how'd it get out?" James' voice sounded the closest.

"One of the Cerberus crew … I don't know his name. I think he must've been indoctrinated." Garrus' soft footsteps paced the floor, his voice becoming more heavily flanged with anger. "I watched the security feed. He left his station and went to the armory, using EDI's access node to block her out somehow. He grabbed an assault rifle from Jacob's table and made his way to the tech labs where he walked right up to the collector's tank and deactivated the stasis." Something slammed against metal followed by a moment of silence before he finally continued, "Held just the gun out to the collector when he opened the damn door. The collector let the seeker out, and a few minutes later it walked right through the CIC, picking off those the seeker didn't get to. I was in the battery, I didn't have a clue what was going on until Joker called me on the intercom. I rushed up there … but I was too late."

"I talked to Kelly. She said even though the seeker paralyzed her, she saw the whole thing. Joker tried to fight back, but there was just nothing he could do to defend himself," Tali said, her voice heavy and thick, as if she'd been crying.

"I've never seen Shepard so devastated. Losing so many to the collectors, and Zaeed dying only to come back and find ..." Dr. Chakwas started sobbing. "She and Joker were really close … I'd never seen him let anyone in the way he did with her … I don't …." Her voice shifted to nothing more than a high-pitched whine when she said, "I'm not sure she's going to pull out of this."

* * *

Darkness surrounded her, rage and grief washing over and rolling through her, sweeping her out to sea. Shepards buffeted her, throwing her around as fists and feet, biotics and bullets slammed into her. Somewhere nearby, others fought to defend her.

"Defend yourself, damn it!" Jane yelled.

Shepard didn't see any point. She fucked everything up. She didn't save enough of them, and they wouldn't have even been there if not for her. Zaeed was dead. Joker … Joker was dead, and it was her fault.

Raphael's fist slammed into her jaw, shattering the bone with an audible crack. Pain lanced through her face and down her neck, knocking her to the ground. She stayed there, tears pouring from her eyes. Amelia's steel-toed boot connected with her ribs, tearing the air from her non-existent lungs.

* * *

The bed shifted. The familiar weight and warmth of Garrus surrounded her, and he wrapped an arm over her waist. He hummed softly, nuzzling against the back of her head.

"I'm sorry, Dawn," he whispered, voice cracking.

Someone had placed Joker's hat on the chair next to her bed.

* * *

John carried her, slung over his shoulder while he fired into the darkness. Her wounds healed, not a trace of the beating the others gave her remained. Just like every other time. So much blood. Joker. Oh gods, Joker. He can't be dead. Joker never dies. It's not real. Can't be happening.

"It happened, ma'am." John shifted, putting her down on her feet, holding her face to make her meet his gaze. "It happened, and it hurts, but we have to move on."

* * *

"Commander?" Dr. Chakwas voice cut through the haze. "Shepard, you need to eat something."

* * *

Bullets ripped through her abdomen, setting her clothes on fire. Jane grabbed her, dragging her down behind a wall that wasn't there a second ago, and Jane beat at the flames consuming Shepard. Somewhere in the distance, a banshee screamed.

"No, that was Abigail." Jane forced a pistol into Shepard's hand, wrapping her fingers around the grip. "Now fight back."

* * *

"... can't take control, the implant won't allow her to. For all intents and purposes, Shepard  _is_  still in control. Unless she chooses to relinquish control to Jane, or is knocked unconscious, Jane won't be able to do anything," Miranda's voice dragged Shepard back to the world around her, even though she didn't want to be awake.

Garrus hummed, the sound distressed, and Shepard knew it should bother her, should get a rise out of her, but it just didn't. She just wanted them to stop talking and let her sleep.

"So … she's just stuck like this?" He growled, pacing into her line of sight. "She's awake." He moved closer, crouching down in front of her, bringing himself to eye level. Running his fingers through her hair, his mandibles fluttered, blue eyes desperate as they searched hers. "Dawn, can you hear me?"

"There is nothing to indicate Shepard has lost her ability to hear, Garrus," EDI said, her tone consoling.

His mandibles flared and he took Shepard's hand in his, fingers gingerly squeezing her hand, and she caught sight of an IV line trailing away from her arm. "We need to make arrangements for … for Joker. I thought you might want to call Anderson yourself. Or I can do it for you, if you want, whatever you need, Dawn. Whatever you need."

* * *

Shepard's arm lifted and her finger pulled the trigger. It wasn't her, she knew that, not even her own pseudo-body acting on reflex, but Ruby seeping back through her; absorbed but not dead, not gone, not really. Not like Joker.

She could've stopped Ruby if she wanted to, but why bother?

* * *

Thane sat next to her bed, hands clasped in front of him. Head bowed, his lips moved with the soft whisper of a prayer. After a moment, he opened his eyes, catching her gaze and offered her a gentle smile. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. "Siha, I'm sorry you are hurting. I wish I could take this pain away from you." He reached out, wiping a tear from her face. "I understand you're not ready to speak, but Dr. Chakwas informed me it might be beneficial for you if we continue to talk to you. Garrus has called Councilor Anderson, I believe he intends to meet the Normandy on Illium. I'm not sure why Miranda chose Illium, however. I'm told Joker will be returned to his family and given an Alliance burial; he will be honored."

The sound of the door sliding open seemed to draw Thane's attention for a moment. "Ah, Jack. Good timing, she's awake." Thane stood, waving his hand at the chair, and a moment later Jack sat down.

Jack glanced up at Thane but didn't say anything to him as he stepped away. Turning her attention to Shepard, she narrowed her eyes, brow furrowing. "Shit," she whispered. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say here, Alliance." Threading her fingers together, she rested her elbows on her knees and seemed to examine the tattoos on her arms for a second. "You've got to fucking fight this shit. You're supposed to be leading us into war. We need you, goddamnit." Shaking her head, she rubbed a palm over her nearly-bare scalp. "Garrus is all twisted up, blaming himself. Says he should've been in the CIC in case you needed him, then Joker wouldn't be dead. I tried telling him you wouldn't want him to blame himself, told him all the shit you told me … but I suck at the pep talk crap. So just … get the fuck up and go yell at him or something."

* * *

Her palm slammed against Juan's chest, and immediately she felt the bright spark within him. A second later, something inside of her pulled, jerking the spark right out of Juan and sucking it into her.

And if felt good.

Despite everything else, it felt good.

* * *

"Commander?" Samara's soft voice pulled at Shepard, and the asari smiled when Shepard opened her eyes. "I am sorry, but I must do this now; we have arrived at Illium. I must leave and go to my daughters." She pushed the chair aside, kneeling down next to Shepard. "By the Code, I have fulfilled my service to you, Shepard. Your choices are no longer my choices, your morals are no longer my morals. Your wishes are no longer my code." Biotic energy flared around the Justicar, so bright it hurt Shepard's eyes.

Samara stood, settling a hand on Shepard's shoulder. "I wish you well, Shepard. When you recover, contact me, I will see what I can do to aid you in the oncoming war." Samara pulled her hand back and dipped her head before turning and leaving.

* * *

Ricky. Janell. Avery. Mia. Michael. James. Sofia. Chloe. Layla. They were hers now.

* * *

Dr. Chakwas adjusted the bed, forcing Shepard into a sitting position. Stiff muscles ached in protest, but Shepard didn't care.

Garrus held her hand in one of his, bare fingers of his other hand stroked her knuckles. "Anderson is here. He's taking care of … the transfer, but he said he wanted to come see you when he's done."

* * *

Shepard slapped her hand against Nora's chest, yanking out the other woman's spark. If they insisted on throwing themselves at her, she'd make them hers. Letting go, she watched as Nora's body fell to the ground and disappeared.

She turned, catching Camila's pleading thoughts as the woman reached out. She wanted what only Shepard could offer, an end, or perhaps a new beginning. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. Shepard settled her palm between Camila's breasts, searching out the spark and pulled.

Hungry for more, she felt around her for the next one.

* * *

"... even understand what we're saying?" Anderson asked.

"She appears to be slipping in and out of awareness while awake. Scans indicate she's still able to hear what's being said, but whether or not it's truly registering with her …." Dr. Chakwas lifted a shoulder and shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't say."

Anderson grunted, tucking his hands behind his back and moving closer to them. "Shepard … I'm having you transferred to a facility on the Citadel for observation. Dr. Chakwas will be going with you. The Council's dropped all charges against you, they finally realized how foolish they were being. I considered having you taken to Earth, but I think it'll be easier for your friends to visit if you're on the Citadel, and Dr. Chakwas tells me it's important you not be isolated from the people you know."

He paused, giving them a wry smile. "And I admit I'd like to be able to see you as well. I don't get off the Citadel much these days." Glancing down at his feet for a moment, he took a deep breath. "The Dissension is still an issue, though. So, I'm having Lieutenant Vega reassigned as the head of your personal guard while you're there. I thought you'd like that. It'll be up to him to choose other guards, and determine who is or isn't allowed in to see you."

Shepard closed their eyes. They didn't want to hear anymore. They wanted to go back to the darkness where things made sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for Part 3, Reconfiguration.


End file.
